People can be cruel, Apple. Just count yourself lucky that the ass whose opinion you cited isn't interested. We all find compatibility and make human connections in our own unique way. Let the haters stew in their misery and keep searching for people worth spending time around.
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Transgaf: 'cause boys will be girls (and vice versa)
- Thread starter lexi
- Start date
I was more asking if you personally ran into people complaining about bathroom usage in years past. I'm pretty sure I heard complaints about it
Oh. I'm not someone who is transitioning (and is more gender questioning/genderqueer anyway) but I haven't actually seen much in real life there. Closest I guess it people using the other gender's bathrooms when theirs is taken in a place like Starbucks, and when it's a single occupant bathroom... uhh, it's silly to segregate those anyway, seems more like there should just be two bathrooms, not a male and female ones.
Butterfly Witch
Member
The point is for you to accept yourself for who you are and for you to feel okay with your own body. You may not believe me but it has nothing to do with you being trans or cis or a oak wood cabinet, it's just shitty people.
Sadly shitty fucking people feel entitled to pass judgement on other people's bodies, often times because they're unhappy with their own bodies. I'm really sorry you have had to deal with that.
R
Rösti
Unconfirmed Member
I can only assume the people giving you such heinous comments ought to feel rather broken inside. Personally I don't use any dating apps but a friend of mine does and he hasn't had any greater experience. Could differ from app to app of course, but my impression is that many such apps house a rather toxic environment.
Personally, based on the pic you posted earlier, I think you look great, not "rough" at all. Cute beanie too.
Terrorblot
Member
My hair is finally hitting a length I'm happy with. I still look like a huge dork though 
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/justin-trudeau-transgender-rights-legislation-2016-1.3584419
'In his mandate letter, Trudeau asked Wilson-Raybould to make it a priority to introduce legislation "to add gender identity as a prohibited ground for discrimination under the Canadian Human Rights Act, and to the list of distinguishing characteristics of 'identifiable group' protected by the hate speech provisions of the Criminal Code."'
'In his mandate letter, Trudeau asked Wilson-Raybould to make it a priority to introduce legislation "to add gender identity as a prohibited ground for discrimination under the Canadian Human Rights Act, and to the list of distinguishing characteristics of 'identifiable group' protected by the hate speech provisions of the Criminal Code."'
Terrorblot
Member
Canada gets it.
Pretty pics, girls.😃 Went on my very first date with a younger guy. It went really well with coffee and a movie and some fun chitchat. I certainly won't forget my first one! 24 and it took this long, hah hah. Super memorable!
Trudeau is a good guy. Hoping for the best!!
So, as I posted here, I might be homeless soon and am trying to figure out how to proceed. One thing I'm considering is attempting to temporarily de-transition.
Most of my dysphoria is social and focused around the people that I care about, so if I do try to start fresh somewhere, staying safe and surviving would be a higher priority, plus I feel confident enough in my own identity to live as male again for a short while if necessary.
On the other hand, I'm not even sure I could pull it off. I don't own guy clothes(that fit) any more, and I'd need a haircut. I could stop shaving my face, but I don't get more than fuzzy even then. I also don't sound like a guy, and me trying to do so works about as well as when most women try. I don't have much of a bust to hide, and I could emphasize my terrible hairline, but I stopped being gendered male over three years ago, and I hadn't even publicly transitioned at that point.
De-transitioning feels strangely correct here, but the results could be disastrous if it doesn't work. =/
Most of my dysphoria is social and focused around the people that I care about, so if I do try to start fresh somewhere, staying safe and surviving would be a higher priority, plus I feel confident enough in my own identity to live as male again for a short while if necessary.
On the other hand, I'm not even sure I could pull it off. I don't own guy clothes(that fit) any more, and I'd need a haircut. I could stop shaving my face, but I don't get more than fuzzy even then. I also don't sound like a guy, and me trying to do so works about as well as when most women try. I don't have much of a bust to hide, and I could emphasize my terrible hairline, but I stopped being gendered male over three years ago, and I hadn't even publicly transitioned at that point.
De-transitioning feels strangely correct here, but the results could be disastrous if it doesn't work. =/
Butterfly Witch
Member
PM me, I can try to hook you up with some friends of mine that can probably help you.
AppleSeason
Member
Checked my old abandoned facebook account... Damn, it's a small world. I'm seeing iirate's posts there . Glad things are improving. Its like half if my contacta from the "guild" are going through hell.
First week on antidepressants, I guess I can't afford breaking down more and more often. In the end I had a super busy weekend with co-workers and old friends visiting, so not a lot of time to think about trans woes. I'm planning to stay most of the weekend locked at home playing Final Fantasy, watching Izombie, cleaning and translating that second letter. Although I don't know if I will be able to secure a date on time, as I need a new passport and it will still be a month until the first date available. I think last surgery I had to present it to identify myself during the booking process. I wonder if Chett's office will accept my ID.
First week on antidepressants, I guess I can't afford breaking down more and more often. In the end I had a super busy weekend with co-workers and old friends visiting, so not a lot of time to think about trans woes. I'm planning to stay most of the weekend locked at home playing Final Fantasy, watching Izombie, cleaning and translating that second letter. Although I don't know if I will be able to secure a date on time, as I need a new passport and it will still be a month until the first date available. I think last surgery I had to present it to identify myself during the booking process. I wonder if Chett's office will accept my ID.
How About No
Member
So I was listening to NPR and caught this thing on Trans Choruses. Thought interesting, thought share
http://www.npr.org/sections/deceptivecadence/2016/05/21/478863157/transgender-choruses-harness-the-changing-power-of-voices
http://www.npr.org/sections/deceptivecadence/2016/05/21/478863157/transgender-choruses-harness-the-changing-power-of-voices
Terrorblot
Member
I really have to get off my butt and start practicing my voice. I've been totally out for like a year now and I still haven't manipulated or changed my voice in any way. Anyone have any good resources?
AppleSeason
Member
SRS letters translated. Only one thing left to do... Mail the surgeon office and begin booking a date.
I'm literally freaking out. Apart from the letters, I've been:
- Checking prices for everything. Surgery, Graft, hotel, plane, food, "in case shit happens" money...
- Checking all the available flights. I guess I will be using Air France Again.
- Trying to calculate all the extra expenses I will need to add: X-rays, bank charges...
- Booking an appointment to update my passport with the name and gender change from 2015
So far this is pretty much the easy part, just need to reunite the courage to send the email to Chettawut's office. The scary part is the way back, between dilating after arriving and that still haven't found a place with an elevator to stay during months 2 and 3.
What I am missing is a laptop. I was waiting for the next Apple keynote to see if a new Macbook air is announced, but I won't be able to save in time for it, so I will have to get a cheap windows laptop for the month I will be in Thailand. Hoping I don't have to spend more than 350.
I'm literally freaking out. Apart from the letters, I've been:
- Checking prices for everything. Surgery, Graft, hotel, plane, food, "in case shit happens" money...
- Checking all the available flights. I guess I will be using Air France Again.
- Trying to calculate all the extra expenses I will need to add: X-rays, bank charges...
- Booking an appointment to update my passport with the name and gender change from 2015
So far this is pretty much the easy part, just need to reunite the courage to send the email to Chettawut's office. The scary part is the way back, between dilating after arriving and that still haven't found a place with an elevator to stay during months 2 and 3.
What I am missing is a laptop. I was waiting for the next Apple keynote to see if a new Macbook air is announced, but I won't be able to save in time for it, so I will have to get a cheap windows laptop for the month I will be in Thailand. Hoping I don't have to spend more than 350.
AppleSeason
Member
I'm back from the endo, with sort of bad news.
I've been insisting for some time on being prescribed progesterone, as when I DIYed (with natural micrognised progesterone) it helped with restoring my libido, but I can't get it anymore thanks to customs opening everything I order and destroying it.
The problem? She has prescribed me medroxyprogesterone, which from what I am reading it would be best not to take it, and it even seems to have the opposite effect in libido to the point I may have better luck by cutting my AA dosage by half.
Any opinions or experience on this? I suppose I can give it a go and if in two weeks it does not have the same effect as natural, drop it. I already know that these things don't work for improving fast redistribution or areola size increase, but with natural at least I slept better and gave me some calming sensation. this one looks like it is going to mess my body in every possible way.
I've been insisting for some time on being prescribed progesterone, as when I DIYed (with natural micrognised progesterone) it helped with restoring my libido, but I can't get it anymore thanks to customs opening everything I order and destroying it.
The problem? She has prescribed me medroxyprogesterone, which from what I am reading it would be best not to take it, and it even seems to have the opposite effect in libido to the point I may have better luck by cutting my AA dosage by half.
Any opinions or experience on this? I suppose I can give it a go and if in two weeks it does not have the same effect as natural, drop it. I already know that these things don't work for improving fast redistribution or areola size increase, but with natural at least I slept better and gave me some calming sensation. this one looks like it is going to mess my body in every possible way.
AppleSeason
Member
This seems to depend on the surgeon and what HRT you are into. With chett you are asked to go off estradiol and spironolactone, but you can be on cypro until surgery day since it does not mess with blood pressure or causes clotting.
Other surgeons will ask you to keep taking hrt to prevent the mind from becoming unstable at the worst moment, and then use meds to prevent clotting. What they did with me after the BA,
Damn, I really mixed things in my last post. I've been prescribed medroxyprogesterone instead of natural, which apparently isn't that good at boosting libido (I'm at absolute zero right now) and overall seems like quite a harmful drug.
Team Alucard
Banned
Should you be honest with your therapist, or just tell them what they'd need to hear to give you your diagnosis and letter?
Ive seen my current therapist a few times now but ive held back from sharing a lot of stuff. Be it my ardent refusal to socially transition, my extreme internalized-transphobia and self-loathing, my suicidal planning, etc.
I'm sorta afraid that if I share these things i won't be seen as "trans enough" and that she will just diagnose me with major depression or body dysmorphia and refuse to sign off on medial transition. And HRT is something I do want to do, if only for the mental effects and to prevent MPB
Ive seen my current therapist a few times now but ive held back from sharing a lot of stuff. Be it my ardent refusal to socially transition, my extreme internalized-transphobia and self-loathing, my suicidal planning, etc.
I'm sorta afraid that if I share these things i won't be seen as "trans enough" and that she will just diagnose me with major depression or body dysmorphia and refuse to sign off on medial transition. And HRT is something I do want to do, if only for the mental effects and to prevent MPB
AppleSeason
Member
Sigh. I can't get myself to contact the surgeon. I keep reading the site for anything I may have missed, but in the end I can't do it. Too scared of going alone, having to spend one month on my own, and the fear of more pain and discomfort during recovery, not to mention my phobia to being bedridden (which will happen for 3 to 5 days).
If somebody would accompany me I would feel more ready to do it, but on my own I don't feel like I can do it. On 2014 I went completely blind, but after two surgeries I am afraid of everything. Depression has weakened me mentally and I am less tolerant to pain and discomfort.
If somebody would accompany me I would feel more ready to do it, but on my own I don't feel like I can do it. On 2014 I went completely blind, but after two surgeries I am afraid of everything. Depression has weakened me mentally and I am less tolerant to pain and discomfort.
As someone who struggles from severe depression, I can say that diet and exercise can take the edge off and make you feel better. I know that carbs like bread, pasta, peanut butter and red meat will bottom you out. Fish, chicken and green vegetables will help to balance you out along with exercise outside to soak up the vitamin D from the sun. I wish I could do more than offer advice and words of comfort for you.
You really need to find an LGBT group near you to make some connections that are going to offer you the additional support.
All the best Sara
Butterfly Witch
Member
AppleSeason
Member
Thanks, but I don't eat corpses.
And damn, one day I'm going to opt for going out with a visible bulge. Tucking pain is becoming excruciating.
Hello TransGAF people. I have read some pages and the thread encouraged me to want to talk about my feelings with you.
I always have seen myself as female. The thing is, I don't dislike my male body. I mean, outside facial hair (I hate it, except the few on my chest, lol), I'm happy with it. But I don't know if this way of thinking is to just to don't let things change in my life... well, maybe just only my work, because I really want to live as a woman (even if I don't transition), met people and fall in love with someone who see my as a woman.
Is bad if I want to live as a male just in this specific place? It scare me that if I don't live as woman in my everyday life means I wil don't be a real woman.
I still haven't done anything to see me as a woman (and I want! I want wear nice dress, skirts and maybe someday sexy shorts, and have a long hair...), but this feeling hurts me and I really wanted to share it.
I always have seen myself as female. The thing is, I don't dislike my male body. I mean, outside facial hair (I hate it, except the few on my chest, lol), I'm happy with it. But I don't know if this way of thinking is to just to don't let things change in my life... well, maybe just only my work, because I really want to live as a woman (even if I don't transition), met people and fall in love with someone who see my as a woman.
Is bad if I want to live as a male just in this specific place? It scare me that if I don't live as woman in my everyday life means I wil don't be a real woman.
I still haven't done anything to see me as a woman (and I want! I want wear nice dress, skirts and maybe someday sexy shorts, and have a long hair...), but this feeling hurts me and I really wanted to share it.
Butterfly Witch
Member
Not all trans people have dysphoria, that feeling that your body is "wrong", and even then you could be gender fluid as well, as gender fluid people can alternate between gender presentation.
It's not too unusual for trans people to "bargain" (I don't want to be a woman 24/7...) until they open up as well as sadly being transgender is still riddled with social landmines and potential harassment.
Try to explore your gender presentation, try things out and see how things make you feel. There's no one true path anyway, everyone's different.
tearsofash
Member
Does anyone know if trans people can donate plasma? I am fucking desperate for money after something happened today. I went a few years ago and they denied me. However, I heard some people sued and won. So I dunno. I can't seem to find any answers and I'm too scared to go up there and ask.
Asagami_ .... you are free to do whatever it feels better to you .... but be aware that in my experience, everyone that dips their feet in the water ends up swimming xD
That is a VERY good question.
One place once refused because something about huge levels of prolacting being related to the medicine I take .... but my endocrine said the person was talking bullshit so I don't know =/
That is a VERY good question.
One place once refused because something about huge levels of prolacting being related to the medicine I take .... but my endocrine said the person was talking bullshit so I don't know =/
AppleSeason
Member
In the end I contacted the surgeon. Today I got a reply indicating that the letters have been sent to him for verification and approval.I was requested to send web resources where there is information about the proffesionals who wrote the letters. Easier said than done, though.
This is taking longer than expected, So I'm worried I won't be able to find a date for December. Next possible time would be March.
This is taking longer than expected, So I'm worried I won't be able to find a date for December. Next possible time would be March.
I rmemeber doing a "coming out" on Facebook to reach some of the people I wanted to tell but didn't have a better way to talk to. It's amazing that, no matter how many times I've had that conversation no matter how it's done (in person, on the phone, chat, written one-sided thing, etc.), it's always nerve-wracking.
AppleSeason
Member
reply received, surgeon is supposedly evaluating the letters right now. THey even asked to provide web resources on the letter authors.
Damn, they really take precautions. But's fun how easy is this to do on antidepressants that seem to work, for once.
Damn, they really take precautions. But's fun how easy is this to do on antidepressants that seem to work, for once.
Rajack
Member
It is, I agonized over the decision for as long as I've been on hormones. It wasn't an easy decision to make, but it was the right decision I feel. However my mother may be the one person I never come out to until I stand on my own two legs financially because of how bigoted she is.
I don't think I'll ever come out on Facebook, what you did was very brave and I hope it went well. From my experience (still fairly limited) I've learned that telling people face to face is stressful but also quite rewarding. It's a good occasion to not only talk about the definitions, what you are doing and why, but also to show your emotions, that you're after all a human being, one which suffers a lot and against all odds attempts to find happiness in life. People often forget that, especially now, when bigots and some politicians (or bigoted politicians
) attempt to demonize us.I plan to come out to my sister next week, then probably soon after to my bigoted mother. If you with I could share my experience with you. Maybe it'll help you somehow?
Rajack
Member
I don't think I'll ever come out on Facebook, what you did was very brave and I hope it went well. From my experience (still fairly limited) I've learned that telling people face to face is stressful but also quite rewarding. It's a good occasion to not only talk about the definitions, what you are doing and why, but also to show your emotions, that you're after all a human being, one which suffers a lot and against all odds attempts to find happiness in life. People often forget that, especially now, when bigots and some politicians (or bigoted politicians
I plan to come out to my sister next week, then probably soon after to my bigoted mother. If you with I could share my experience with you. Maybe it'll help you somehow?
It might, I'll take you up on the offer. Thank you
AppleSeason
Member
Approved. I can pick a date for SRS whenever I want.
... This should feel scary. I really don't know who's making the decision, me or the antidepressant.
... This should feel scary. I really don't know who's making the decision, me or the antidepressant.
Butterfly Witch
Member
It's still you, even if you're on meds.
AppleSeason
Member
I hope...
Well, proposed a date for the start of december, March if that's not possible. I try to look at the positive side of things. I don't have to worry that much about regretting and not enjoying sex with that configuration as I don't see my self being sexually active ever again, so it should only be an improvement in not having to tuck or being afraid of being caught in public restrooms.
Just worried about the real things to be worried about: Being low on savings after SRS, problems with finding a place to stay when I go home, and the possible complications that can't be avoided if they happen and I can only deal with them.
Also, I may rethink bringing a macbook and getting a cheap laptop instead. Too scare of getting mugged, and I will be going through an airport with theft issues (which would be a big problem since my cabin luggage would have the dilators).
Butterfly Witch
Member
So you'll have the issues most everyone else has: being low on funds and hoping an unexpected problem doesn't rise up.
You're going to be fine, things will change but in the end life is change and we can adapt, it's the great thing about us humans.
Congratulations once again
AppleSeason
Member
Congratulations once again
Thanks
For the moment I'm planning to prevent all the screwups I did the last time, and getting advice from the last girls that went to this surgeon:
- Travel light, and get wheeled cabin luggage. This time I won't be able to use a heavy backpack
- get a tote bag that can fit a 50 cm diameter donut cushion (you will need it for the plane)
- sunscreen was the thing I could not find there. Also, bring the umbrella as sun protection.
- Dilators go in the cabin luggage. you don't want them to get lost.
- Wheelchair service lets you skip the customs passport queue
- Get some sort of belt to wear under the dresses so that you can strap and conceal the catheter and urine bag. you will have to carry that for 10-11 days.
- Remember the doctors about the meds you need to be administered (if I miss the antidepressants withdrawal and depression relapse will fuck everything)
Now wondering... New 3DS, Playstation Vita or both?
I still need to talk with my family once this is official. They won't let me stay with them during recovery, but they agreed to find a rental flat or room with elevator for me while I am in Thailand and move my stuff there.
I'm also planning how much sick leave do I need. I need three months since surgery of dilation three times of day (not compatible with work since I need to dilate at midday), but if I can request reduced working hours I could go back to work on the the third month. So much inactivity can drive me crazy.
You'll be fine Apple, I'll keep my fingers crossed.
Your plan seems solid. When it comes to consoles, it depends on the games you want to play.
If you need to bind some time, you can always do a list of games you want to play and just choose the console with a library more suited to your taste.AppleSeason
Member
Dunnon, I was thinking about bringing a super long game that has a "feel good" atmosphere. In that sense, Persona 4 is one of the best things to bost the mood, although the problem is that I'm playing it already. On the good side of things, Pokémon will be coming out by then.
Hotels with Chettawut have changed, and I'm considering the new middle point (Vertical Suite) instead of the Rama. The rama is ok if you don't mind ants and the occasional cockroaches (the cottages are in the middle or a garden), but the Vertical Suite has a full kitchen, washing machine and even a dryer feature, so it may be better. it is much closer to Seacon Square and the Dusit and the are is far more lively, so it may be easier to go out for an evening and enjoy some air outside the hotel.
Problem is the price increase, from 800€ a month to 1300. I'd have to cut somewhere. Maybe instead of a laptop get a tablet and a keyboard...
Hotels with Chettawut have changed, and I'm considering the new middle point (Vertical Suite) instead of the Rama. The rama is ok if you don't mind ants and the occasional cockroaches (the cottages are in the middle or a garden), but the Vertical Suite has a full kitchen, washing machine and even a dryer feature, so it may be better. it is much closer to Seacon Square and the Dusit and the are is far more lively, so it may be easier to go out for an evening and enjoy some air outside the hotel.
Problem is the price increase, from 800€ a month to 1300. I'd have to cut somewhere. Maybe instead of a laptop get a tablet and a keyboard...