Support NeoGAF

[Reishiki]

Long Tall Sally might be of help, they have stores in both the US and the UK. I went to their physical store in London once, it was really weird to be around people around my height for a change (6'2").
I can fit into a M&S size 22 with my build (bearing in mind I'm 42" underbust), so I get a lot of my clothes from there, but Long Tall Sally has been fantastic for things like shoes.

 

[WaffleTaco]

Honestly Alcurd you don't look huge. You may be tall, but there are plenty tall Cis Women. Hell my gfs cousins wife is over six feet too. You also seem pretty attractive, and although this isn't always the case, it seems to be if you are attractive as as man, you will be attractive as a woman. Fat redistribution can help with hips. I think if you start having a positive outlook it could really help you feeling better about yourself, which is super important and it does work. My best advice is trying going on hormones, keep it low key. See how you like the changes in your body and how that is reflected in your mind.

 

[Kaywee]

Timelines and pictures in general can be very misleading due to a lack of scale and magic angle and lighting abuse.

I compare my body to the average people around my age that I see in my daily life. I look huge compared to anyone who isn't either overweight or a bodybuilder. My head, shoulders, and ribcage are all significantly bigger compared to the average MAN I see on a daily basis, let alone women.

That is a very limited pool of men and women to draw comparisons from in my opinion. Here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VT8puMEK0W8 is a trans woman that has stronger features than you and she still "passes". If your dysphoria is as bad as you say than you really need to address the issues behind it and seek treatment.

I think you will do fine once your on hormones for a few years.

 

[tearsofash]

One of three things I'd do:
1: Have a female friend help you, as they'd be better judges of size
2: Go to a store that's not focused on clothing (like a Target or Walmart), grab different sizes of the exact same piece of clothing, take them to the dressing rooms you're comfortable with, and try them all. Super easy to do with jeans and tops, gets a bit trickier once you start getting into dress sizes and all of that.
3: Go to a clothing store that specializes in your body type, and ask a female clerk for help.

#2 will get you a decent way into some things, but you're going to run into situations where you need proper fittings. #3 is brutal to do in the early going, and you run the risk of finding a clerk who will be weirded out by the situation—but there's also a good chance that you'll find someone who is understanding and happy to help.

At worst, anyone in this situation can always pull the "I want to go dressed as a woman for Halloween / party because of the theme" card if it makes it easier.

Thanks. Hopefully if I go to Forever 21 too they won't turn me away for being so ugly.

 

[AppleSeason]

Seriously, i had a much worse starting point than that pics. Also, 22. Complain when you are not in optimal transition conditions.

 

[mollipen]

Seriously, i had a much worse starting point than that pics. Also, 22. Complain when you are not in optimal transition conditions.

I started in the second half of my 30s! I know full well the "I wish I could have done this sooner" regret, and "what would I be like if I had started when I was younger?" But wishing doesn't change my options, and it doesn't matter what could have been, because it can never be.

 

[AppleSeason]

"what would I be like if I had started when I was younger?"

Ten or 5 years earlier my facial bone structure would have been the same, but I would have had a lot more hair density instead of just the minimum to cover my head. And during the weekend I was told that I was "half bald" when I began, which really hurt. Not to mention that my face was a bit more fuller. I aged fast in the 5 years before starting HRT.


BTW, After more than a year, I almost got caught on the changing and showers are of the gym. Since I am going at the dead hour when I am the only one there, I started relaxing and removing my gaff to wrap myself with a towel before heading to the shower, instead of removing it on the shower stall itself. And just that freaking day, somebody had the same idea of coming in the hour where the gym is empty. In the moment I heard the door closing I was full naked and trying to cover myself with the tower as fast as I could.

damn. I will have to get back to super cautious mode again. I'm planning on giving a second change to spinning, hoping the tuck won't hurt when sitting.

 

[Reishiki]

I started at 27, there's someone in my support group who started at 55.

 

[tearsofash]

I start hormones on Wednesday! My birthday!

 

[WaffleTaco]

I start hormones on Wednesday! My birthday!

That is so awesome! Congratulations! Probably the best birthday present ever right lol

 

[AppleSeason]

I just got catcalled from a running car, in broad daylight (this has only happened pre-ffs and while in the dark).


I'm not even feeling bad about it. getting a "Hey, pretty!!!" It's better that "Fucking tranny", after all.

 

[tearsofash]

Someone got me a torrid gift card for my birthday. Aww yis. It's on

 

[AppleSeason]

Well, last endo checkup up until after I am post-op. High T, so no wonder I'm hornier than a teenager, but meh. In three months I won't have to worry about that level ever again. We also talked about calling the Gender Identity Unit directly if I had a post-op complication, instead of going through the GP.


The oddest thing was that I was offered to get checked for STD's on the post-op blood test. .. I have more risks of catching something at my assigned hospital than at Chett's Clinic. In any case, I'm really paranoid about STD's just before SRS, so full celibacy mode (Not like I should worry, I haven't had sex since Dysphoria got out of control 4 years ago...)

 

[Kaywee]

I finally came out to my employer and told them I would be returning as a women this school year. They scheduled a meeting for this morning to talk about transitioning in the workplace and the meeting went really well and HR promised to support me. I go back to my classroom next week and I am feeling a wild range of emotions about it all.

Since I am the first transgendered employee at the board, they are asking me to help set up the standards for how they treat future transgendered employees. Since each persons transition is different, I was hoping to get advice from those who've transitioned on the job. What are some of the things you found useful during your transition or things that didn't work. Any insight would be appreciated.

Sara

 

[AppleSeason]

I was hoping to get advice from those who've transitioned on the job. What are some of the things you found useful during your transition or things that didn't work. Any insight would be appreciated.

Sara

Get ready for possible backstabbing from the person you would expect the least. Always have a plan B. Once you present female, never ever switch back (don't do male and female days and gradual switches). Make sure you have worked on all the aspects of transition as much as possible so they don't see you as "The Tranny".


Things that helped me? Unsure. I had it pretty hard and I was kicked out from my old job and landed in generalised anxiety disorder and depression for months unable to work. On my current one they helped me with letting me take enough consecutive days for both FFS and SRS recovery and right now we are planning my sick leave to balance the workload

 

[Reishiki]

I finally came out to my employer and told them I would be returning as a women this school year. They scheduled a meeting for this morning to talk about transitioning in the workplace and the meeting went really well and HR promised to support me. I go back to my classroom next week and I am feeling a wild range of emotions about it all.

Since I am the first transgendered employee at the board, they are asking me to help set up the standards for how they treat future transgendered employees. Since each persons transition is different, I was hoping to get advice from those who've transitioned on the job. What are some of the things you found useful during your transition or things that didn't work. Any insight would be appreciated.

Sara

When I came out at work, most of the effort between me, HR and my immediate manager was how we wanted to release the message and sorting a suitable date, plus how we would handle our internal system stuff. We ended up agreeing to the following:

• The shift I returned on was a seven-day night shift, this would allow me to be back in the office with very little other presence. The other person on shift on the networking team was a very good friend of mine.
• I would write a short statement to be sent around to the company by HR. HR added their own stuff, quoting the company Employee Handbook, which has specific reference to sex and gender in the anti-discrimination section. If your company doesn't have this, advise them to include it.
• I took a week off work prior to my night shift to allow this to happen while I was not in the office.
• On the Monday, an all managers meeting was called in my company's boardroom; anyone who had staff to report to them was required to attend. My statement was brought to their attention and if they had any questions, they were to be directed to HR. The anti-discrimination policy was re-iterated to all present.
• On Wednesday, HR sent out the prearranged email to the entire company.
• On Friday evening, just before my shift, my friend working that night switched over my internal system details and transferred my company mailbox over to a newly created one with my new name and internal email address. Once I arrived, I helped him identify if there was anything he missed and we worked together to complete the switchover.
• While I'm not clear when this happened in my case, it will be important regardless of where you work: Make sure HR update payroll promptly, and get in contact with your pension provider (if you have one) to make sure their records are up to date as well.

Hope this helps.

 

[Terrorblot]

When I came out at work, most of the effort between me, HR and my immediate manager was how we wanted to release the message and sorting a suitable date, plus how we would handle our internal system stuff. We ended up agreeing to the following:

• The shift I returned on was a seven-day night shift, this would allow me to be back in the office with very little other presence. The other person on shift on the networking team was a very good friend of mine.
• I would write a short statement to be sent around to the company by HR. HR added their own stuff, quoting the company Employee Handbook, which has specific reference to sex and gender in the anti-discrimination section. If your company doesn't have this, advise them to include it.
• I took a week off work prior to my night shift to allow this to happen while I was not in the office.
• On the Monday, an all managers meeting was called in my company's boardroom; anyone who had staff to report to them was required to attend. My statement was brought to their attention and if they had any questions, they were to be directed to HR. The anti-discrimination policy was re-iterated to all present.
• On Wednesday, HR sent out the prearranged email to the entire company.
• On Friday evening, just before my shift, my friend working that night switched over my internal system details and transferred my company mailbox over to a newly created one with my new name and internal email address. Once I arrived, I helped him identify if there was anything he missed and we worked together to complete the switchover.
• While I'm not clear when this happened in my case, it will be important regardless of where you work: Make sure HR update payroll promptly, and get in contact with your pension provider (if you have one) to make sure their records are up to date as well.

Hope this helps.

Oh wow. I just told my boss "Hey I'm trans I'm gonna write an email" and they were like "cool" and I sent an email that was like "hey I'm a girl call me she plz" and that was that.

 

[Reishiki]

Oh wow. I just told my boss "Hey I'm trans I'm gonna write an email" and they were like "cool" and I sent an email that was like "hey I'm a girl call me she plz" and that was that.

I was essentially covering all the bases. I had no idea how people were gonna react and to be honest, I didn't really want to send that email while still in the office myself, if only to avoid awkward upfront questions. Having this all planned out made me a lot more confident in myself to come to work during those early days.

Like Sara, I was the first transgender employee at the company and I think they wanted to get things right first time. In a way, it made me feel pretty valued. HR held an all-managers meeting on my behalf to ensure that issues with employees wouldn't cause me to leave, so I can only assume that the company valued my continued employment.

 

[tearsofash]

So my T is really low, like 198. They did more blood work to see how much estrogen my body might be making. They have me on 50mg of Spiro twice a day, and that's it.

It's weird, when I tell people I'm transitioning they ask if I'm mtf or ftm. I never really figured I looked androgynous, but I guess I do.

 

[Platy]

Congrats Tears

For the job I was like "ok I am trans !" and the other 2 people that worked with me on the ridiculously small marketing agency was like "yeah ok not sure if I got that" =P

And LOL at alucard's complete dissapearance

 

[Eusis]

I've got similar T levels, though I'm willing to give TRT a shot to see if I'd actually feel better on that or if it ends up causing full on dysphoria (or I feel great but also feel more like wanting to be a woman, same end result I guess.) Don't want to do it for longer than 2 weeks if the results aren't positive though mentally.

EDIT: With that said the gel prescription is in insurance limbo and I have no idea if it can be covered at all. If not, ah well.

 

[Kaywee]

Thanks Reishiki and Terrorblot for weighing in I appreciate it.

 

[Terrorblot]

Thanks Reishiki and Terrorblot for weighing in I appreciate it.

Sure. I was definitely more fortunate than most in that I actually work for a hospital that's pretty big on diversity, pride, etc.

 

[tearsofash]

So I'm staying at an all women's shelter, and it's kind of awkward. Most people are pretty nice, but there's a few people who are a little hostile. I feel safer here than one of the ones downtown at least.

 

[Terrorblot]

So I'm staying at an all women's shelter, and it's kind of awkward. Most people are pretty nice, but there's a few people who are a little hostile. I feel safer here than one of the ones downtown at least.

Yikes! Please stay safe!

1 year HRT!! Feeling good this week! Am I a cutie yet? :3

 

[mollipen]

1 year HRT!! Feeling good this week! Am I a cutie yet? :3

You are a cutie indeed. Awesome progress!

 

[Terrorblot]

You are a cutie indeed. Awesome progress!

Yippieeeeee. I feel like this week has been a breakthrough in kany ways so many things to do still though!

 

[Platy]

I just want to say that putting the after before the before picture complicates things =P

 

[Terrorblot]

I just want to say that putting the after before the before picture complicates things =P

I know I'm a doofus haha

 

[WaffleTaco]

Yikes! Please stay safe!

1 year HRT!! Feeling good this week! Am I a cutie yet? :3

You are so pretty girl! And I'm super jealous haha.

 

[AppleSeason]

And here I am, still waiting for HRT to do something after three years


Exactly three months left. Some days I can't wait, others I'm panicking and thinking about canceling. Lots of talk at the office regarding how much sick leave will I need. Supposedly I can go back to work after two months, but I still need to do three dilations per day so... I may have to get three months in the end since they won't offer me reduced work time (to get home and do the middle of the day dilation).

I have gone back to voice training. I'm not sure if I will ever pull anything decent without guidance, but at the least my throat should strenghten enough to maintain my voice around 200-220hz. Which sadly is the limit of my vocal range. Having lost my range after years of T is one of the most depressing things, and I don't think vocal chords surgery would work (I'm a magnet for throat infections and colds so I could damage things a lot.

 

[Team Alucard]

I have gone back to voice training. I'm not sure if I will ever pull anything decent without guidance, but at the least my throat should strenghten enough to maintain my voice around 200-220hz. Which sadly is the limit of my vocal range. Having lost my range after years of T is one of the most depressing things, and I don't think vocal chords surgery would work (I'm a magnet for throat infections and colds so I could damage things a lot.

There is a doctor in New York who more or less does the same surgery as Dr. Kim in Yeson, except his recovery time is dramatically lower. (only a week of vocal rest vs. an entire month)

 

[Terrorblot]

You are so pretty girl! And I'm super jealous haha.

Oh plzzzz hahaha. :3 It helps that it's a super flattering picture, the kind you want to put on facebook and then never show your real face again. It's been a good week though

 

[AppleSeason]

There is a doctor in New York who more or less does the same surgery as Dr. Kim in Yeson, except his recovery time is dramatically lower. (only a week of vocal rest vs. an entire month)

I have seen that page before, the problem is that I know nothing about him, while I have seen a few cases from Yeson. In any case, even the voice surgeons in my country say the same thing: Train first, leave surgery as the last resort. I also don't know how well it would work on me, Last scan indicated that I may have a partial vocal fold paralysis (And that's when I stopped training. I did not take that well).

 

[AppleSeason]

I'm thinking about getting my legs waxed before going to Bangkok... Last time I was pretty much shaving every three days, mostly because of boredom, but this time I won't be in a great condition to stand for a long time. I suppose I should tell them to be careful and don't g ever was near the bikini line. I'm worried about them removing hair too close to the graft area and then that hair not being removed during SRS.


Speaking of that, does anybody know how the area of groin skin removed looks like?

 

[Dr. Buni]

People cared enoght about me to comment <3

Sorry for being outside the beauty standards ... but it is cute that he puts me one the same beauty standards of any women !

So this dude is actualy favoring my womeness and by contrast, agreeing that there are some hot trans women ! =D

I figured there would be hatred in the comment section just by looking at the like/dislike ratio of your video. I will avoid checking the rest of the comments because I am too sensitive to bigotry.

Anyways, I enjoyed your video and subscribed to your channel. Keep up the good work!

 

[Platy]

I figured there would be hatred in the comment section just by looking at the like/dislike ratio of your video. I will avoid checking the rest of the comments because I am too sensitive to bigotry.

Anyways, I enjoyed your video and subscribed to your channel. Keep up the good work!

We already deleted everything .. it is ok =D

Also .. TRANS NERD JOKES !

 

[Eusis]

We already deleted everything .. it is ok =D

Also .. TRANS NERD JOKES !

Even the thighs get larger.

But why did the shoulders?

 

[Dai101]

We already deleted everything .. it is ok =D

Also .. TRANS NERD JOKES !

Also... HI! Been a while since the last time i posted here. Hope you don't mind ;-)


Glad to see some very good news.

Keep being awesome!!

 

[Dr. Buni]

Welcome back, Dai101!

As for the trans joke, I am so slow that it took me hours to figure out the analog sticks are the boobs xD

 

[Android18a]

Me today.

The good news today: Feeling pretty fabulous and took selfies I didn't hate.
The bad news: Letter is on the way from the gender clinic, apparently it's an 18+ month wait for a first appointment around here (athough its worse in London apparently!) so, yeah, bit of a wait before I'll be seeing any HRT.

Figured I'd try to use the time productively so I've joined slimming world, and I'm hoping I can save up for some permanent hair removal courses too, since my facial shadow in particular is a huge issue for me when I try to pass, it's so dark and grows quickly. I set up a gofundme account so maybe that'll help, my sister suggested it to me.

Oh, and I've officially cast off the shackles of wigs now my hair is starting to actually get to the point where it looks deliberately long, and not just "couldn't afford a haircut"

All in all, just another day at the office. lol.

 

[Dr. Buni]

It's hard to believe you are not on HRT. You look lovely!

 

[mollipen]

Lose as much weight as you can pre-HRT (in terms of what you want to lose). Seriously. Trust me. That goes for everyone still at that point.

 

[Android18a]

It's hard to believe you are not on HRT. You look lovely!

Thanks Although it's very much just a flattering angle and time of day in that photo

Lose as much weight as you can pre-HRT (in terms of what you want to lose). Seriously. Trust me. That goes for everyone still at that point.

That's my plan. Signed up to slimming world and really watching what I eat. I had a big "sin" yesterday with a chocolate flapjack at lunchtime, so since then I ate nothing but fresh fruit for the rest of the day. Not too bad at all, I suppose. Although I have no fruit left in the house now!

 

[Sagroth]

Hey there Transgaf. I'm going through a bit of a challenge at the moment, and would welcome your input.

I'm a cis hetero male, but my spouse came out as a trans male a bit less than two years ago. It's been somewhat of a challenge for both of us at times, but it is my wish to be as supportive as possible with helping him transition(for the record, he is currently on T that I home administer due to his fear of needles, and we are trying to find him the best option for top surgery).

I've never been much for traditional gender roles in the first place, so I don't mind that dynamic shifting, and I'm doing what I can to prepare for all the physical changes that are already occurring and will happen later. Pronouns aren't a problem either, and I don't have an issue explaining the situation to anyone. The problem, though, is that I am in fact a straight male, and intimacy has become an issue. Because while even though I'm doing my best to avoid any area or practice that might cause him dysphoria, he says I'm feminizing him in my mind while we are intimate, which I suppose deep down is true. This of course has also lead to a relative lack of intimacy over the past month.

So I'm honestly not sure what to do at this point. I cannot change the fact that I'm straight, but I love my spouse and want to help him transition, and I'm willing to work with whatever changes come, even though 10 years of marriage before he came out sometimes complicates matters. But at the same time, if he's going to cut himself off from me physically because for 10 years we were intimate as husband and wife and the memory of that causes him dysphoria, what can I do? Is my marriage dead?


Edt: To clarify, I'm not looking to pressure my spouse into intimacy(that shit is just wrong). But it does hurt knowing that my spouse feels that disconnect(and it really sucks to think that for years I was likely causing my spouse dysphoria when intimate without knowing it). I want to help my spouse with his journey however I can, even if I do so as something other than his marriage partner.

 

[Dr. Buni]

Hey there Transgaf. I'm going through a bit of a challenge at the moment, and would welcome your input.

I'm a cis hetero male, but my spouse came out as a trans male a bit less than two years ago. It's been somewhat of a challenge for both of us at times, but it is my wish to be as supportive as possible with helping him transition(for the record, he is currently on T that I home administer due to his fear of needles, and we are trying to find him the best option for top surgery).

I've never been much for traditional gender roles in the first place, so I don't mind that dynamic shifting, and I'm doing what I can to prepare for all the physical changes that are already occurring and will happen later. Pronouns aren't a problem either, and I don't have an issue explaining the situation to anyone. The problem, though, is that I am in fact a straight male, and intimacy has become an issue. Because while even though I'm doing my best to avoid any area or practice that might cause him dysphoria, he says I'm feminizing him in my mind while we are intimate, which I suppose deep down is true. This of course has also lead to a relative lack of intimacy over the past month.

So I'm honestly not sure what to do at this point. I cannot change the fact that I'm straight, but I love my spouse and want to help him transition, and I'm willing to work with whatever changes come, even though 10 years of marriage before he came out sometimes complicates matters. But at the same time, if he's going to cut himself off from me physically because for 10 years we were intimate as husband and wife and the memory of that causes him dysphoria, what can I do? Is my marriage dead?


Edt: To clarify, I'm not looking to pressure my spouse into intimacy(that shit is just wrong). But it does hurt knowing that my spouse feels that disconnect(and it really sucks to think that for years I was likely causing my spouse dysphoria when intimate without knowing it). I want to help my spouse with his journey however I can, even if I do so as something other than his marriage partner.

That could be the most sensible outcome for the situation you are going through. I mean, you seem to be convinced that you are straight, so things will only get more difficult as your spouse's body changes thanks to the testosterone. You can't change your sexuality (as far as I know) and he can't change his gender identity, so... Really, I can't imagine another outcome for this. I think the most important thing is to support him and to be his friend and from what you are telling us, you are already doing this.

Regardless of what you decide to do, I am wishing you both the best!

 

[Dr. Buni]

Lose as much weight as you can pre-HRT (in terms of what you want to lose). Seriously. Trust me. That goes for everyone still at that point.

I on HRT for nearly one yrar and I am not having that much trouble losing weight, except for belly fat, which is really really stubborn and difficult to get rid of.

 

[Platy]

Edt: To clarify, I'm not looking to pressure my spouse into intimacy(that shit is just wrong). But it does hurt knowing that my spouse feels that disconnect(and it really sucks to think that for years I was likely causing my spouse dysphoria when intimate without knowing it). I want to help my spouse with his journey however I can, even if I do so as something other than his marriage partner.

This will not be an answer that will make you happy, considering that you reinforced 3 times in that small text of your heteroness (protip : almost nobody is that hetero), but .... search gay porn and repeat the positions. Because that is basicaly what you are doing is gay sex. And reinforcing your straighness makes him feel that you are saying that he is not a man.

The other answer you will like even less that will make him be SURE that you don't see him as anything womenly is ... butt sex. I am not talking you fucking him in the ass. The problem is that peggin is usualy not gay because it is sex between a man and a woman. This is NOT what will happen =P
Will be totaly gay sex no matter what you do. But then again, you came to this thread making questions about how to have gay sex so whatever xD

And yeah .. that might hold your relationship long enoght till you realise that you are a straight dude married to a hairy dude. And then something will end, either your marriage or your straight rotulation.

 

[Hella Lugosi]

I had my 2 year HRT anniversary a week or so ago. My gf took a nice picture of me. <3

I was on a very small dose for about six months so I don't know how much it really counts, but I'm certainly happier and more comfortable than I ever was pre-HRT

 

[WaffleTaco]

Me today.

The good news today: Feeling pretty fabulous and took selfies I didn't hate.
The bad news: Letter is on the way from the gender clinic, apparently it's an 18+ month wait for a first appointment around here (athough its worse in London apparently!) so, yeah, bit of a wait before I'll be seeing any HRT.

Figured I'd try to use the time productively so I've joined slimming world, and I'm hoping I can save up for some permanent hair removal courses too, since my facial shadow in particular is a huge issue for me when I try to pass, it's so dark and grows quickly. I set up a gofundme account so maybe that'll help, my sister suggested it to me.

Oh, and I've officially cast off the shackles of wigs now my hair is starting to actually get to the point where it looks deliberately long, and not just "couldn't afford a haircut"

All in all, just another day at the office. lol.

I had my 2 year HRT anniversary a week or so ago. My gf took a nice picture of me. <3


I was on a very small dose for about six months so I don't know how much it really counts, but I'm certainly happier and more comfortable than I ever was pre-HRT

You girls both look really pretty! Good luck in hopefully HRT coming sooner than 18 months Android18a and happy 2 year HRT Hella Lugosi!