Support NeoGAF

[Jintor]

Yeah, I just did that.

Edit: ... and ninj4junpei is no more thanks to EviLore.

Ah, i thought I recognised the avatar. Nice job, best of luck.

 

[Hop]

So I had a therapist visit tonight. This is a guy that's been giving me a bit of trouble, in that he's commented how masculine and indecisive I tend to be with several aspects of my personality and actions. He's made numerous comments about how I seem a fair bit like a guy and I should really evaluate if transition is right for me.

And all I need to do is make an appointment with the doctor he suggests and I'll have The Letter to start hormones.

So I was a little surprised by that, but yay!

 

[lexi]

So I had a therapist visit tonight. This is a guy that's been giving me a bit of trouble, in that he's commented how masculine and indecisive I tend to be with several aspects of my personality and actions. He's made numerous comments about how I seem a fair bit like a guy and I should really evaluate if transition is right for me.

And all I need to do is make an appointment with the doctor he suggests and I'll have The Letter to start hormones.

So I was a little surprised by that, but yay!

The worst kind of gatekeeping. You're not 'feminine' enough and other holdover bullshit. Don't let him get to you, if I was subject to that kind of cretinous gatekeeping I would have fared very poorly.

 

[Amalthea]

Yay, new nickname!

 

[Dead Man]

So I had a therapist visit tonight. This is a guy that's been giving me a bit of trouble, in that he's commented how masculine and indecisive I tend to be with several aspects of my personality and actions. He's made numerous comments about how I seem a fair bit like a guy and I should really evaluate if transition is right for me.

And all I need to do is make an appointment with the doctor he suggests and I'll have The Letter to start hormones.

So I was a little surprised by that, but yay!

You're not feminine enough to want to be more feminine? Is that what he was getting at? What rubbish. Incisiveness is only for guys? What a tool.

 

[Hop]

Yea, he's a fair bit of a schmuck, but he's giving me the letter so I don't give a shit.

(And on the whole indecisive thing, the concern he was expressing was more that I wasn't sure I was trans, since I tend to be unsure about a great number of things. But, being trans is the only thing I am sure of, it's kinda what I measure certainty against!)

 

[Femmeworth]

Yea, he's a fair bit of a schmuck, but he's giving me the letter so I don't give a shit.

(And on the whole indecisive thing, the concern he was expressing was more that I wasn't sure I was trans, since I tend to be unsure about a great number of things. But, being trans is the only thing I am sure of, it's kinda what I measure certainty against!)

I'm the same way, of course I'm nowhere near getting my transition started. :\

 

[iirate]

So, I scheduled my laser consultation as well as my first appointment with a gender therapist today! When I got off the phone with the therapist, I was literally screaming with excitement, which is a little... uh, rare for me (anyone who knows an INFP will be able to vouch for me when I say we don't really like to wear our emotions on our sleeves).

After my counseling sessions that ran through last summer until the end of last year, and lots of self meditation, I'm finally feeling confident that this is completely right for me. I can't say that my doubts have disappeared, but I no longer expect them to, and have been able to come to terms with them. I can see them, and look at everything else I feel, and finally trust my instincts a little on this. There definitely were a couple of epiphany-like moments involved in this process, too, but I won't bore you with those details.

Also, since I came out to my little sister, I've had a very strong desire to come out to everyone I know. Since then, I've told my mom, and my little sis talked to my very religious older sister for me. All of them are accepting; I couldn't have asked for a better reaction from my mom.

However, there are still some big roadblocks to me telling others - I have good reason to believe that my dad (and his brother) are going to receive this poorly. Both of them are in poor health as well, and I don't want to compromise my father's health further with him worrying over this.

Then, I have two very old and good friends that I want to tell, but I'm having trouble finding a good time in which I can talk to them in private, due in part to their circumstances, and in part due to my own.

Finally, right around the time that I decided to be more public about this, my workplace became a lot less safe. My boss who I trusted would be understanding and supportive quit and took half the store with him. So now I'm soon going to be surrounded by fresh faces, and I have no guarantee that the new boss will take it like I need him to.

I'm not really asking for advice, I guess, as I know that situations like these need to felt out, but I guess if anyone has any advice, I'd be glad to take it into consideration. Mostly, I was just feeling great about the small steps I was able to take today, and wanted to share.

 

[InfiniteNine]

Congratulations! I'm glad you've got things rolling and some of your family is being really accepting.

I'm having a bit more trouble being open about this too especially since everyone I would tell doesn't live in this city. I plan on getting started within the next 2-4 months and started looking at what I should do when I'm ready the past few days, but I really can't see myself telling much of anyone. I've pretty much just told my sisters and a few friends and it will probably stay that way for a long while.

Sorry to hear about your job situation there. Scares me a bit since I'll have to dump my current source of income whenever I get started and I'm not sure if strangers will be accepting on top of me working for the first time in years.

I wish I could offer some advise but I seem to be fearful of the same things atm. :lol

 

[Instigator]

So I had a therapist visit tonight. This is a guy that's been giving me a bit of trouble, in that he's commented how masculine and indecisive I tend to be with several aspects of my personality and actions. He's made numerous comments about how I seem a fair bit like a guy and I should really evaluate if transition is right for me.

And all I need to do is make an appointment with the doctor he suggests and I'll have The Letter to start hormones.

So I was a little surprised by that, but yay!

The worst kind of gatekeeping. You're not 'feminine' enough and other holdover bullshit. Don't let him get to you, if I was subject to that kind of cretinous gatekeeping I would have fared very poorly.

You're not feminine enough to want to be more feminine? Is that what he was getting at? What rubbish. Incisiveness is only for guys? What a tool.

Yea, he's a fair bit of a schmuck, but he's giving me the letter so I don't give a shit.

(And on the whole indecisive thing, the concern he was expressing was more that I wasn't sure I was trans, since I tend to be unsure about a great number of things. But, being trans is the only thing I am sure of, it's kinda what I measure certainty against!)

I'm the same way, of course I'm nowhere near getting my transition started. :\

Playing devil's advocate here, but what's the point of going to a gender therapist if you're not going to listen to him/her anyway? Is it just to affirm everything you think you want and get that letter/prescription?

 

[Dead Man]

Playing devil's advocate here, but what's the point of going to a gender therapist if you're not going to listen to him/her anyway? Is it just to affirm everything you think you want and get that letter/prescription?

I was more attacking the logic presented. The gender norms displayed by the statement are not really appropriate for someone who is a counsellor of people who are feeling gender dyspohoria.

 

[alysonwheel]

Playing devil's advocate here, but what's the point of going to a gender therapist if you're not going to listen to him/her anyway? Is it just to affirm everything you think you want and get that letter/prescription?

Many gender therapists promote, whether they personally believe it or not, an old-fashioned idea of gender, and often advocate impractical and even dangerous stuff. Stories of people being refused the most basic treatment because they didn't turn up to their first session in a skirt are everywhere, and true. The UK NHS used to require that people live "in role" for a period before any hormones would be prescribed (they may still do; when I transitioned ten years ago I chose private treatment rather than rublic to avoid just that fate) which was absolutely ridiculous: for every Andrej Pejic, who can pass without hormones, there's ten of, well, me, who couldn't.

Knowing everything I do now, if I were just starting out on treatment again, without the option to seek private treatment, I would lie to the therapists, lie to the doctors, and keep lying until I had everything I needed; it may not be necessary in all or even most cases, but it saves an awful lot of trouble.

Mostly, I was just feeling great about the small steps I was able to take today, and wanted to share.

That's fucking fantastic!

 

[Platy]

Playing devil's advocate here, but what's the point of going to a gender therapist if you're not going to listen to him/her anyway? Is it just to affirm everything you think you want and get that letter/prescription?

Classical scientific experiment.

Put some cheese and a button on a room with a mouse.

If the mouse tryes to bite the cheese without doing nothing, he gets an electro shock.

After a few tries, the hunger will make the mouse learn that he need to press the right button so he can fullfill he's needs to eat and the next time he will just press the button and eat the cheese as fast as he could.

Also, Argentina

 

[Femmeworth]

Also, Argentina

Argentina, here I come!

 

[Femmeworth]

Damn, this explains everything.

I was so confused.

I kept my avatar. It couldn't have been that confusing. :3

 

[Brian Griffin]

Anyone watch the series premiere of House of Lies on Showtime last night? I'll spoiler the details but it looks like the show is tackling the issue of gender identity in young children in a positive way.

Spoiler

Don Cheadle's character has a son in grade school who dresses in girl clothes and auditions for the lead female role in his school's play. Everyone refers to him as a boy though and there was no dialog where he specifically wants to be referred to as female or thinks of himself as female. Cheadle is confused about how to handle it but doesn't want to "fuck him up" by pushing back against his son's behavior so he accepts it and strongly defends his son's choice when the principal objects to him wanting to play the female lead.

Also, congrats and good luck to you iirate.

 

[lexi]

I went to a therapist with the full intention of only doing it because that's the process you need to go through. There is nothing they could have done or said to have even slightly changed my mind -- I'd already gone through years of having that internal dialog. I didn't need to have it again with anybody else.

I went the private route and it all happened relatively quickly, I was able to start HRT about 4-5 months from first talking to a GP about being trans. What I cannot fathom is where would I be now had I been subject to those ridiculous 'live 12 months fulltime as a woman then we might give you hormones'. What kind of torture would that be? I know *many* transwomen who pass flawlessly now but would have looked like they were auditioning to join Monty Python at the beginning of their transition. I'm glad that it appears to be going away these days, though I still hear of it happening in public healthcare all over the world.

 

[iirate]

I went to a therapist with the full intention of only doing it because that's the process you need to go through. There is nothing they could have done or said to have even slightly changed my mind -- I'd already gone through years of having that internal dialog. I didn't need to have it again with anybody else.

I went the private route and it all happened relatively quickly, I was able to start HRT about 4-5 months from first talking to a GP about being trans. What I cannot fathom is where would I be now had I been subject to those ridiculous 'live 12 months fulltime as a woman then we might give you hormones'. What kind of torture would that be? I know *many* transwomen who pass flawlessly now but would have looked like they were auditioning to join Monty Python at the beginning of their transition. I'm glad that it appears to be going away these days, though I still hear of it happening in public healthcare all over the world.

Yep, that's why I'm seeing a therapist right now. It just feels like a hoop that I need to jump through. Luckily, they come highly recommended from my trans friends, so I'm not too anxious about any of it. I can't even imagine having to go full-time right now.

 

[Femmeworth]

Hey, for all I know somebody could've stolen your avatar!

Well, an avatar this awesome is worth stealing I suppose.

 

[alysonwheel]

Well, an avatar this awesome is worth stealing I suppose.

I really like the style of it; what's it from?

 

[Femmeworth]

I really like the style of it; what's it from?

It's from some Ace Attorney fan art.

The artist's tumblr. http://steelsamurai.tumblr.com/tagged/my+art

 

[Android18a]

Short true story from this week:

My mum found my girl stuff
She tells my dad
Awkward convo with Jehovah's Wittness parents. Can't continue at home.
Given a few days to 'think'
Decide I want to move out, will have to tell them.

To be continued. :0

 

[alysonwheel]

It's from some Ace Attorney fan art.

The artist's tumblr. http://steelsamurai.tumblr.com/tagged/my+art

Great, thank you! I have one of the Ace Attorney games on my ipod (the original? I think?) and really should get around to playing it.

Short true story from this week:

My mum found my girl stuff
She tells my dad
Awkward convo with Jehovah's Wittness parents. Can't continue at home.
Given a few days to 'think'
Decide I want to move out, will have to tell them.

To be continued. :0

Oh wow, do you have anywhere to go?

 

[Android18a]

Nowhere yet. I'm browsing gumtree for places and viewing a nice city apartment on sat but that one may be slightly over my budget. It's £595 a month, then you've got council tax, utility bills, food... Might be a bit much.

 

[alysonwheel]

Ugh, I hate flat-hunting. Good luck!

I found a great trans/queer flatsharing website when we were looking to move last year, but for the life of me I can't find it now :/

 

[Songbird]

Nowhere yet. I'm browsing gumtree for places and viewing a nice city apartment on sat but that one may be slightly over my budget. It's £595 a month, then you've got council tax, utility bills, food... Might be a bit much.

£600 is a lot, even with utilities. £500 a month is what I'm paying and I have to be very frugal with groceries etc.

Best of luck Android18a!

 

[Suairyu]

Nowhere yet. I'm browsing gumtree for places and viewing a nice city apartment on sat but that one may be slightly over my budget. It's £595 a month, then you've got council tax, utility bills, food... Might be a bit much.

I know the feeling absolutely sucks and you'll feel like a leech but... you can get council tax benefit and housing allowance.

 

[Songbird]

I know the feeling absolutely sucks and you'll feel like a leech but... you can get council tax benefit and housing allowance.

You know what? I completely forgot about this. Glad I posted.

 

[alysonwheel]

Yeah, make sure you're claiming all the tax credits you're eligible for, too.

In my work for %large_UK_educational_institution I've found a lot of people who are eligible get turned away anyway, so if you've tried before and got shot down it might be worth trying again.

 

[Android18a]

Ah thanks actually I'm looking at a more local one now that's 349 a month with free Internet too! http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property...ium=email&utm_campaign=iphoneapp2sendtofriend looks funky

 

[alysonwheel]

Very nice Looks a bit like the house from Spaced.

Also :O at that price. I miss that kind of rent; why did I move to London again? When I lived in Harwich I had a 2 bed terraced house for half what I pay for a 1 bed flat these days...

 

[Android18a]

Yeah that's the bonus of living in the middle of nowhere! Hehe. I think I might have to give them a call though. Too good to pass up on!

Yay for a place I can be girly!

 

[alysonwheel]

Yay for a place I can be girly!

Hooray! God, that was the best thing about my first solo place. Clothes everywhere.

 

[Android18a]

Jehovah's Witness parents? Ouch. Do you think there's a possibility of them ever coming around?

Good luck to you, in any case!

Not ruddy likely! I'll be dead to them unless I repent ^^ so I'll need some friends I think. Any uk transgaffers wanna msn or Skype me? Pm plz

And yeah I'll have girl stuff everywhere hahaha. It'll be so good

 

[InfiniteNine]

Well too bad about your parents but at least you're getting a nice place to be yourself in~! If I lived in the UK I'd totally hang out.

 

[Femmeworth]

Great, thank you! I have one of the Ace Attorney games on my ipod (the original? I think?) and really should get around to playing it.

Yes, yes you should.

Though, I can't imagine it playing well on an iPhone.

 

[mollipen]

Short true story from this week:

My mum found my girl stuff
She tells my dad
Awkward convo with Jehovah's Wittness parents. Can't continue at home.
Given a few days to 'think'
Decide I want to move out, will have to tell them.

To be continued. :0

Ugh—really sorry to hear how it all happened, and the situation you've now been put in. However, on the other end of things, maybe this will end up being better for you in the long run. It'll be tough for now, but living on your own will also give you the opportunity to concentrate on doing what you need to do for yourself instead of always having to do it in secret.

 

[Hop]

Ugh—really sorry to hear how it all happened, and the situation you've now been put in. However, on the other end of things, maybe this will end up being better for you in the long run. It'll be tough for now, but living on your own will also give you the opportunity to concentrate on doing what you need to do for yourself instead of always having to do it in secret.

Like the Dilbert cartoon where the guy celebrates being fired, because he's finally free of that hellhole. Sometimes the worst that can happen is the best thing that ever happened.

Anyway, it seems my quest for hormones is in fact a comedy of errors! First my therapist puts together the letter, but it doesn't have an explicit recommendation for hormone therapy, so the endo won't start it right away. Which is fine, technically, since I need the blood test anyway. I just went to do that, and it seems the endo failed to tell me I needed to fast for 12 hours beforehand. Which I can't entirely disagree with, apparently I'm 205lbs >_< (Ideal for my height is about 190 male, 175 female. I'm now shooting for 180 by Christmas, half a pound a week.)

 

[Android18a]

Had a word with my Dad. I have to move out. Boxing up all my girl stuff for now, until I move. Hopefully they won't throw it away while I'm at work or anything.

But yeah, It's bad news all round. Let the house hunting commence with great haste! I need to try get that Barwell gig I think.

 

[firehawk12]

Had a word with my Dad. I have to move out. Boxing up all my girl stuff for now, until I move. Hopefully they won't throw it away while I'm at work or anything.

But yeah, It's bad news all round. Let the house hunting commence with great haste! I need to try get that Barwell gig I think.

Guh. Good luck.

 

[Android18a]

Plus side: I have a local friend who will look after my stuff!

 

[iirate]

Jeeze Femmeworth, I've played (and loved) 3 of the Ace Attorney games, and I still never realized what your av OR new name was taken from. I feel really dense right now...

Android18a: I'm sorry to hear about your parents, but at the same time, I'm glad to see that you aren't going to let them pressure you into making decisions that aren't right for you. Good luck with the move!

Also, just came out to 7 of my closest friends, and everything went great! Am I the only one that usually feels really foolish after being so worried about telling people, only to have them be completely awesome and accepting? Like, no matter how much I rationally know that it shouldn't be a big deal to them or change anything, there is a lot of anxiety, but in every case so far, my gut has been proven right.

 

[Android18a]

Things are looking up to an extent. I'm positive about my apartment viewing on Monday for the 2-bedroom 360pcm place. Looks really nice and in a good location.

My mum yesterday seemed actually to be coming around to the idea of my moving out, if not the reasons for it. She's saying how it'll be good for me to get some independence and stand on my own two feet, and she's offered to donate furniture like a sofa and some tables/bookshelves to my place so all told I'm pretty excited.

It's going to be hard financially for the first month or so til I get paid and can compensate for that first month's bond and estate agent fees, but from then on I should be okay!

Thanks for the kind words everyone.

 

[alysonwheel]

That's great! Hopefully your mum will continue to soften.

My parents were very religious when I came out and it took them a while to come to terms with it. It helped that I wasn't living with them so I could just put the phone down on them if they were being insensitive; they got the message in the end.

 

[Hop]

Finally! I got my blood test done this morning so they can figure out what hormone treatment is appropriate for me. Still have some doctor work to do, iron out some of the kinks in the whole prescription process, but I think by the end of January I should be started.


And I didn't pass out when they did the blood test! I fought and hyperventilated and generally freaked out, but I maintained consciousness!

 

[InfiniteNine]

Congrats on the consciousness! Hope getting started goes all smooth like for ya. :3

 

[CHEEZMO™]

Subbing.

 

[Hop]

Subbing.

Y'know Cheezmo, it's very hard to read most of your posts without assuming some level of sexual undertones. Especially when the post is just the word "subbing".

 

[CHEEZMO™]

Edit:

Spoiler

I actually wrote a full sentence just saying that it was a subscription post, but ended up deleting it.

 

[Android18a]

Applied for the apartment <3 It's nice.

So I'll be a free girl in a few days or weeks or however long it takes to process and gimme the damn keys!