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[mollipen]

Y'know Cheezmo, it's very hard to read most of your posts without assuming some level of sexual undertones. Especially when the post is just the word "subbing".

...I totally thought that exact same thing. I was like, "Uhhm, well, good for you Cheezmo." *laughs*

Applied for the apartment <3 It's nice.

So I'll be a free girl in a few days or weeks or however long it takes to process and gimme the damn keys!

You are about to enter the horrible reality of living on your own: The need you will now feel to spend a lot of money making your living space look cute!

 

[Android18a]

Oh noes, I will have no moneys.

 

[lexi]

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?p=34334504#post34334504

 

[Amalthea]

My parents talk about throwing me out all the time because of my TS'ity (not that I wouldn't want to, money's low you know) but in the end they never dare. (or I hope at least...)

On the other hand I'm getting closer and closer to come out finally, I'm a bit frightened to see how this will play off.

 

[Android18a]

It's rough but however it happens you'll get through it. The telling and initial fallout can be hard but once it's aired things do get better. My parents made it clear they can never support me, but life still goes on. So good luck x

 

[Hop]

And, at least for me, getting wedged away from your family kinda highlights how much emphasis society puts on the family unit, and how really ridiculous that is. People doing stupid stuff because "he's my brother!". Yea, but your brother can be a hateful bigot, why would blood excuse that? I'd rather a lot of friends than a lot of family.

 

[Amalthea]

It's rough but however it happens you'll get through it. The telling and initial fallout can be hard but once it's aired things do get better. My parents made it clear they can never support me, but life still goes on. So good luck x

They know already, they know it since ten years. But they are still rather indecisive.

So I'll try to ignore their reactions. They often start to arrange with uncomfortabel things just because of their indecisivness.

I mean just living it 24/7 and coming-out at my workplace and the rest of the family will take some courage but I'm more confident than ever.

 

[Android18a]

I got a flat! I move in on the 27th woohoo!

 

[iirate]

I got a flat! I move in on the 27th woohoo!

So awesome.

 

[alysonwheel]

I got a flat! I move in on the 27th woohoo!

Congratulations!

 

[Hop]

So I went back to the endo today. Proper letter in hand, blood test results are back, I'm ready to start hormones!


....My triglyceride levels are dangerously high. So I have a month of diet and lifestyle changes to hopefully get them down to proper levels before I can start estrogen.

Bugger.

 

[fireside]

Generally, how is one’s HRT dosage determined? Where I am going they just run blood tests to make sure the drugs are not harming me and then use that information and personal questions to determine the dosage. I’m seeing the results one expects, but I find it odd that they don’t pay attention to hormone levels. Is that normal?

 

[lexi]

So I went back to the endo today. Proper letter in hand, blood test results are back, I'm ready to start hormones!


....My triglyceride levels are dangerously high. So I have a month of diet and lifestyle changes to hopefully get them down to proper levels before I can start estrogen.

Bugger.

Well if ain't that incentive... It's worth noting I lost in the vicinity of 60 kilograms over the months before I started on HRT, best motivation ever imo.

 

[Android18a]

Someone slap me if I don't go see my doctor after moving out ^^ no excuses about the family can be made now ^^;

 

[alysonwheel]

I lost in the vicinity of 60 kilograms over the months before I started on HRT, best motivation ever imo.

God yes. I went cold turkey from smoking 20 cigs a day so I could start HRT.

 

[lexi]

God yes. I went cold turkey from smoking 20 cigs a day so I could start HRT.

*internet high five*

 

[Hop]

God yes. I went cold turkey from smoking 20 cigs a day so I could start HRT.

*internet high five*

*awkward three-person high five*

The comedy of it all is, when I went to the endo the first time it was the first time I had been weighed in ages. Turned out I was 205lbs and I was like "fuck, I gotta lose weight!" (175-190 is ideal for my height. Yes, it's nowhere near as bad as many people.) The triglycerides thing is just directing how I go about losing the weight, focusing on cutting sugars and carbs. I should be shooting for 175lbs, but dammit, I'm going for 160. Gives me wiggle room, and I wanna be a skinny bitch.

 

[AceBandage]

*awkward three-person high five*

The comedy of it all is, when I went to the endo the first time it was the first time I had been weighed in ages. Turned out I was 205lbs and I was like "fuck, I gotta lose weight!" (175-190 is ideal for my height. Yes, it's nowhere near as bad as many people.) The triglycerides thing is just directing how I go about losing the weight, focusing on cutting sugars and carbs. I should be shooting for 175lbs, but dammit, I'm going for 160. Gives me wiggle room, and I wanna be a skinny bitch.

The weight loss thread is a good resource, but yeah, sugars and carbs are the enemy here.

Good luck!

 

[iirate]

*awkward three-person high five*

The comedy of it all is, when I went to the endo the first time it was the first time I had been weighed in ages. Turned out I was 205lbs and I was like "fuck, I gotta lose weight!" (175-190 is ideal for my height. Yes, it's nowhere near as bad as many people.) The triglycerides thing is just directing how I go about losing the weight, focusing on cutting sugars and carbs. I should be shooting for 175lbs, but dammit, I'm going for 160. Gives me wiggle room, and I wanna be a skinny bitch.

Yep, I'm currently ~195 (and 5'8") - hoping to get down to 145 before I start HRT. Basically, I'm starting a 2 month juice fast either today or tomorrow (depends on when my new juicer turns up), then when that's over, I'm going move away from processed foods for good. I'm already vegan, and love to eat lots of veggies and healthy meals in general, so the transition shouldn't be that hard - I just have to get over my binge eating tendencies and love of bread.

 

[Android18a]

TT_TT

*eats a Mars bar and feels guilty but happy*

 

[Hop]

TT_TT

*eats a Mars bar and feels guilty but happy*

Aww. Everyone can cheat sometimes! I'm only two days in and I'm cheating already, gonna see if I can pull off McDonald's without ruining everything.

But it's weird, actually being "on a diet", I guess 'cause this is sort of an outside directive, instead of something I want or feel I need to do. The idea of being on a diet is weirder than the idea of being on hormones, for me. I know it's good for me and all, but... if you're a skinny girl that can still eat pizza and wings all the time, kindly go to hell. ^_^

 

[mollipen]

I really need to lose a little weight as well. Ugh. Going from a job where you're up and running around all day to a job where you're sitting in front of a computer all day is no good. Before this current job I was at 150lbs, which I think is a good weight for my body type.

In other news, I went and got a decent amount of my hair chopped off (I'm heading out of the country for a bit, so I wanted something that would be easier to manage). At first I was a little freaked out at how much my stylist had cut off, but now a few days later... I think it's super cute. Now I'm torn on if I look better with long or short hair.

 

[Femmeworth]

I really need to lose a little weight as well. Ugh. Going from a job where you're up and running around all day to a job where you're sitting in front of a computer all day is no good. Before this current job I was at 150lbs, which I think is a good weight for my body type.

In other news, I went and got a decent amount of my hair chopped off (I'm heading out of the country for a bit, so I wanted something that would be easier to manage). At first I was a little freaked out at how much my stylist had cut off, but now a few days later... I think it's super cute. Now I'm torn on if I look better with long or short hair.

Before and after pics. I'll decide.

Spoiler

On the discussion of weight, I feel fat and I only weigh 144 lbs (65.3173013 kg). >_> *is 5'11''* This time last year I was in the 120s.

 

[dream]

I read a pretty interesting article and kinda wanted it share it with yall. I'd do that bolding certain sentences thing but, really, the whole article is a pretty great read.

In December, Time magazine declared transgender people’s struggle as the next civil-rights frontier. But like gays and lesbians before them, the trans community has to reeducate a mostly ignorant public over commonly used phrases that have permeated the American slang lexicon—words that are often used by gays and lesbians themselves. And it’s going to be a long, hard slog.

Even more confusing than removing words like “tranny” from hurtful use is the shifting and rapidly evolving use of pronouns. Simply put, “he” and “she” don’t cut it for some transgender people.

Discussions about pronoun usage and binary gender (simply: defining all gender as male or female) that used to take place only within the trans community are being launched into the mainstream. The terms “cisgendered” and “bio”—used to describe people who are biologically male or female and whose gender matches their biological sex organs—and the pronouns ze, zir, hir, used in place of "he" and "she" to address trans people who reject binary gender definitions, have been increasingly more present in mainstream debates.

But as Susan Stryker, a transgender historian and director of the Institute for LGBT Studies at the University of Arizona, explains, while it’s easier to change and introduce new words to the English language, “it’s really hard to introduce a new pronoun. You can invent a new word, and it’s a new noun, and people will start using it.”

“I think what’s happening is that movement is moving very quick,” says Buck Angel, a female-to-male transgender porn star, of the trans activists who are pushing for new pronouns perhaps faster than the American public is ready. “And they’re very political, OK? Here’s the problem when you do that, you alienate, right? And when you alienate you’re not getting your message out there.”

“It’s like you have to speak in baby talk, OK?” says Angel. “So when you start saying ‘cisgender,’ I don’t use the word ‘cisgender,’ I don’t even know what that fucking means. And by making all this new vocabulary, bottom line is they’re alienating the rest of the people in the world who want to understand and then get sort of irritated—they just don’t understand. Isn’t the point of us to educate the world to understand us that we’re just normal?”

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articl...l-patrick-harris-to-rupaul-to-dan-savage.html

 

[lexi]

Isn’t the point of us to educate the world to understand us that we’re just normal?”

Currently this does not happen at all. When people think of trans people they think of the most extreme stereotypes, they have no comprehension that there are heaps of trans people out there that are just totally normal.

The depiction of trans people in movies, tv, etc doesn't really help this at all however.

Gay rights started taking huge strides forward when they were given positive portrayals in film and TV. Trans people need the same thing to happen if our standing in society is to improve.

 

[dream]

You and I have discussed this before, lexi, and I still believe that the best way to show people that trans people can be perfectly normal is by being perfectly normal. But this isn't as personal of an issue for me as it is for you, though, so it's probably easier said than done.

But, yeah, I think one of the best ways to do that is just through positive exposure to trans people. I just think Dan Savage makes a great point about how this really is something new and different for people to absorb. And I think he makes the best point here about overdefensiveness and picking the right targets:

Savage thinks those who are infighting within the LGBT world are missing the point; and, he says, the trans activists glitterbombing him should see him as an ally who can spread the word about their cause.

“As I’ve said to people, if I’m the enemy, you lost the war, it’s over,” he says.

“If I am the enemy, what are the people on the right who are attacking trans children or you know, Keith Ablow, that writer for Fox News who went after Chaz Bono with hammer and tongs and said that parents shouldn’t allow their children to watch Chaz Bono on Dancing With the Stars because their sons would want to get their ‘penises amputated’?” says Savage. “If I’m transphobic, what word do you reserve for him?”

 

[lexi]

I completely disassociate myself from the 'trans community'. That is, the community that decides glitterbombing Dan Savage is a good idea.

 

[Femmeworth]

Today I learned what glitter bombing is.

 

[mollipen]

Before and after pics. I'll decide.

Now that I've been given an example of Skype group IM chats, I really think we should have a little TransGAF Skype group if enough of us use Skype. Or a chatroom, or something, so we can share things (like this) that isn't meant for public viewing.

“It’s like you have to speak in baby talk, OK?” says Angel. “So when you start saying ‘cisgender,’ I don’t use the word ‘cisgender,’ I don’t even know what that fucking means. And by making all this new vocabulary, bottom line is they’re alienating the rest of the people in the world who want to understand and then get sort of irritated—they just don’t understand. Isn’t the point of us to educate the world to understand us that we’re just normal?”

I really agree with this. I don't like the term "cisgender", even though I totally understand why people would use it. Those new to the trans discussion always get to confused by the term, and it's very easy to come off sounding a little insulting when using it even if that isn't the intention.

 

[Dead Man]

You and I have discussed this before, lexi, and I still believe that the best way to show people that trans people can be perfectly normal is by being perfectly normal. But this isn't as personal of an issue for me as it is for you, though, so it's probably easier said than done.

But, yeah, I think one of the best ways to do that is just through positive exposure to trans people. I just think Dan Savage makes a great point about how this really is something new and different for people to absorb. And I think he makes the best point here about overdefensiveness and picking the right targets:

Dan Savage has a history of being intolerant, not just to trans people, but anyone who doesn't fit his narrow definition of gay. Just because other people are worse, does not make it okay for him to be a dickhead. If he holds himself up as a beacon of tolerance and is still a shithead, he deserves to be targeted just for setting the standard so low.

 

[dream]

I really agree with this. I don't like the term "cisgender", even though I totally understand why people would use it. Those new to the trans discussion always get to confused by the term, and it's very easy to come off sounding a little insulting when using it even if that isn't the intention.

Yeah, I think my problem with the term "cisgender" is, as a...uh...cis person, it sort of feels like "why are you renaming my gender in order to define yours?" Especially since I think, in an ideal world, there shouldn't be any distinction between the two.

 

[fireside]

Spoiler

On the discussion of weight, I feel fat and I only weigh 144 lbs (65.3173013 kg). >_> *is 5'11''* This time last year I was in the 120s.

I’m 5’11” and I can’t imagine being in the 120s.

 

[NewGamePlus]

It's a little more complicated than that though.

I'm mostly fine with Dan Savage, and I disagree with the glitterbombings. However, to just say he used some bad words a couple of times is a bit of an understatement. He used to openly antagonize trans people in his column.

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=17669

Whatever I say to you, however tactfully I attempt to say it, packs of howling trannies are going to come at me with meat cleavers. (And trannies aren't afraid to use 'em.)

No, wait. First I probably need to give a little background briefing to any readers out there confused by your letter: MARIO, you see, was born a hermaphrodite--aw, shit, I've already pissed off the trannies. According to the website of the Intersex Society of North America (ISNA), "The word 'hermaphrodite' is a stigmatizing and misleading word," as it "implies that a person is born with two sets of genitals--one male and one female--and this is something that cannot occur." (Oh, and the intersexed are not trannies, so I've managed to piss off everyone in both groups already--and I'm still just doing background here!)

I realize that he used to be a jerk to everyone, but seriously, if you want to build up some resentment just act like that.

Many trans people are just getting fed up by being thrown under the bus. It becomes irritating when people say they're your allies, but when the time comes to fight for your rights none of them want to help.

http://transgriot.blogspot.com/2007/10/why-transgender-community-hates-hrc.html

So, while I absolutely hate all this divisiveness, I can understand where it comes from.

Also, I think this is a little unfair

Yeah, I think my problem with the term "cisgender" is, as a...uh...cis person, it sort of feels like "why are you renaming my gender in order to define yours?" Especially since I think, in an ideal world, there shouldn't be any distinction between the two.

It's not really renaming anything, it's actually expanding the concept of gender and how people relate to it. I mean does anyone have a problem with the term heterosexual?

 

[alysonwheel]

Oh wow, I just got done with an almost 800-comment thread about "cis" in another place, so I'll give this one a miss.

I get why some trans people hate Dan Savage -- I haven't been exposed to him much but from what I've read he sounds like one of those frustrating people who'll do something amazing one day and then act like a total arsehole the next -- but glitter-bombing him is counter-productive, no matter how cathartic it is. There's enough of a problem with GLB vs T right now without any of us going after one of the gay community's icons like that.

On the other hand, if you put me in a room with a bucket of glitter and Julie Bindel I'm not sure I could hold myself back.

 

[NewGamePlus]

Oh wow, I just got done with an almost 800-comment thread about "cis" in another place, so I'll give this one a miss.

Is it creepy that I know what you're talking about?

But I don't like the way the word sounds.

 

[alysonwheel]

Is it creepy that I know what you're talking about?

But I don't like the way the word sounds.

Haha, yes. Also someone tried to suggest that it's hate speech.

 

[Android18a]

Guess who's in her new flat? Whee.

And yes, totally wearing whatever the flip (I had a swear there, but now I'm blank, can we swear? lol) I want now

 

[InfiniteNine]

Haha, Congrats!! (And yes you can swear a bit. ;P)

I think having a nice space to wear whatever you want should be extremely comforting. Enjoy!

 

[mollipen]

Guess who's in her new flat? Whee.

And yes, totally wearing whatever the flip (I had a swear there, but now I'm blank, can we swear? lol) I want now

Just don't overdose on all of the freedom you now have, because it'll be easy to do so. *laughs*

 

[Dead Man]

Guess who's in her new flat? Whee.

And yes, totally wearing whatever the flip (I had a swear there, but now I'm blank, can we swear? lol) I want now

Congrats!!

Doesn't Dan also have a weird perspective on bisexuals?

I read his column religiously in high school partially, I'll admit, because his views were so amusingly incendiary. A friend of mine who runs the local university's GLBT club objected pretty strongly to him for some well-reasoned reasons I can't think of now, so I've stopped recently.

Yeah, that is what soured me on him originally, according to him I don't exist. I only recently found out about his other issues. He is entitled to his views of course, but I will say those views are hypocritical and unhelpful in general.

 

[CHEEZMO™]

Yeah, that is what soured me on him originally, according to him I don't exist.

Oooh, he's one of those people.

I see.

 

[alysonwheel]

Guess who's in her new flat? Whee.

Congratulations!

 

[InfiniteNine]

Ugh... All my plans are really falling apart right now. ): I feel like crying.

 

[Maklershed]

What's wrong Infinite?

 

[Femmeworth]

Ugh... All my plans are really falling apart right now. ): I feel like crying.

At least you have/had plans. :\ However, from what you've posted in various threads (totally not stalking you), you have a much more unstable situation than I do.

 

[InfiniteNine]

Pretty much just unexpected money problems. ): Got banned from doing clinical trials unexpectedly until my blood normalizes (apparently not quite there yet), and being unable to find a job pretty much killed my chances of me fulfilling plans for this year.

Since rent is due on Friday I am going to have to give up for now start packing to head back with one of my parents. If I go with my Mom I will have even less job prospects than where I live right now since it's in the middle of nowhere, and if I go with my Dad I'll pretty much have to get rid of my female clothing since his place is too small to actually hide anything especially since one of my little sisters decided to stay with him recently as well.

I can probably wait out early next week to hear back from the trial clinic, but they called me up today saying I might not get back in because of two blood values unrelated to my ban. They will still pass it over to the doctor to check if it's enough since it addresses my original bans problem (low hemoglobin count), but I'm not hopeful since those values are usually caused by iron, vitamin b12, and folate deficiency. Having been consuming iron pills this month and foods rich in b12 and folate since I got banned in December hoping to get back into testing condition. I'm guessing this is something that won't be resolved quickly enough to fix things fast enough and they'll reject me again next week.

Offending values in bold to the left:

I'm pretty much just upset that my plan of doing two more clinical trials before quitting, pursuing counseling, and starting the process to obtain hormones has gone to hell as soon as I decided to go through with it. This health drop pretty much came out of no where and ruined it all. x:

 

[Platy]

There is something you can do in the meantime !

Work you voice !

From what a friend said, it looks like these videos were sold and now they are free on youtube ... it looks like this girl in the video appeared in the movie Transamerica ... but been AGES since i saw this movie .. so ... =P

 

[Femmeworth]

There is something you can do in the meantime !

Work you voice !

From what a friend said, it looks like these videos were sold and now they are free on youtube ... it looks like this girl in the video appeared in the movie Transamerica ... but been AGES since i saw this movie .. so ... =P

I believe the movie opens with one of her training videos being played on a TV.

 

[thatbox]

There is something you can do in the meantime !

Work you voice !

From what a friend said, it looks like these videos were sold and now they are free on youtube ... it looks like this girl in the video appeared in the movie Transamerica ... but been AGES since i saw this movie .. so ... =P

Yes, the producer of the video has made it available for free on purpose to help people.

 

[InfiniteNine]

Well that's something to do! I'll be stuck in the middle of nowhere after all so I don't imagine I'd get a job quickly.