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Turkey & Gravy, Brussels Sprout flavored soda! Yum!

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GhaleonEB

Member
I just got back from Target, where I made a rather odd impulse buy. I spotted the Jones Soda Holiday Pack, which I read about last year. It's a set of five seasonal soda flavors in a display box. The box was $10.99, but most of the profits go to charity (St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital). Here's what they had last year.

The 2005 page isn't updated on their site, but the pack contains five bottles of soda in a large display case. I have not opened it yet, but it looks like under it is a compartment with what looks like a few sporks, napkins and moist towels.

The flavors:

Main Course

Turkey & Gravy

Side Dishes

Wild Herb Stuffing
Brussels Sprout
Cranberry

Dessert

Pumpkin Pie

I'll put it under the tree in a few weeks - when we get the tree - and have them on Christmas.

It sounds revolting, but the reviews from last year said they were great. Plus most of the profit goes to charity this year. Turkey and gravy...in liquid form...with carbination...mmmmmm :lol
 

BlueTsunami

there is joy in sucking dick
Ok. I thought nothing could beat Pepsi Blue but Brussels Sprout flavored soda sounds disgusting. This is all for charity for children? Whoever is making this stuff must hate children.
 

Jewbacca

Banned
WRONG FUCKING WRONG.. Ill tell you guys how this stuff tastes.. I work at target as you guys know and I bought 3 boxes of this stuff... here we go..


Pumkin Pie. - Interesting.. very bland but enjoyable. Something I would want to drink every day? No...

Cranberry - The best of the bunch. This tastes fucking awesome, 0g of sugar and just great flavor.

Turkey & Gravy- This one is a surprise, the taste is very weak but you know what the hell you just drank. It feels like you just put turkey in a blender with some really watered down gravy and added a little carbonation. Is it bad... No... is it good.. No.

Brussels Sprout - Fuck you Jones Soda. I popped open the cap... and took a sniff which made me gag... So I stoped... Okay Ill be a man. Ill drink this. No wait. I cant. Alright i just wont smell it and chug real quick. Yea. Well the ending was me having the first sip hit my tongue in a ass raping with a doo doo butter suprise at the end resulting with me heaving and coughing for 5 minutes straight.

Wild Herb Stuffing - After Brussels Sprout Im not man enough to try it yet.


http://cgi.ebay.com/2005-JONES-SODA...ryZ13915QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem#ebayphotohosting
 

BlueTsunami

there is joy in sucking dick
Jewbacca said:
WRONG FUCKING WRONG.. Ill tell you guys how this stuff tastes.. I work at target as you guys know and I bought 3 boxes of this stuff... here we go..


Pumkin Pie. - Interesting.. very bland but enjoyable. Something I would want to drink every day? No...

Cranberry - The best of the bunch. This tastes fucking awesome, 0g of sugar and just great flavor.

Turkey & Gravy- This one is a surprise, the taste is very weak but you know what the hell you just drank. It feels like you just put turkey in a blender with some really watered down gravy and added a little carbonation. Is it bad... No... is it good.. No.

Brussels Sprout - Fuck you Jones Soda. I popped open the cap... and took a sniff which made me gag... So I stoped... Okay Ill be a man. Ill drink this. No wait. I cant. Alright i just wont smell it and chug real quick. Yea. Well the ending was me having the first sip hit my tongue in a ass raping with a doo doo butter suprise at the end resulting with me heaving and coughing for 5 minutes straight.

Wild Herb Stuffing - After Brussels Sprout Im not man enough to try it yet.


http://cgi.ebay.com/2005-JONES-SODA...ryZ13915QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem#ebayphotohosting

I can understand the Pumpkin Pie and the Cranberry. Everything else though...man...the Brussels Sprout one just seems like a joke flavor. Shit. I don't even know how you even made yourself drink it..:lol

Wild Herb Stuffing will probably be something like the Turkey and Gravy.
 

GhaleonEB

Member
Here's a great review of last year's set.

Even the label suggests terrible tales, featuring a boy staring at a wild turkey in a way that just screams "I'm going to steal you, kill you and juice you." The undefined leader of the Holiday Pack scared our taste testing team far more than his subordinates...

Though honestly not as bad as we were anticipating and not even the worst of the Holiday Pack, just knowing that some mad soda scientist spent weeks concocting a beverage flavored like dead cooked turkey meat created an ambiance of "last day on the planet" amongst us. Some of us confessed our darkest secrets, others called their lost high school sweethearts to tell them they still carried a torch. What did it matter? It's hard to imagine life after Turkey & Gravy Soda.

Everyone likes mashed potatoes, but choking down the juiced form reminds me of the time I got a rare spider bite and was told by the witch doctor that the only way to live was by drinking the relived liquid of his parrot. I still can't believe I fell for it, the guy so didn't look like a real witch doctor.


:lol :lol

"This just should never happen to vegetables."
 
BlueTsunami said:
Everything else though...man...the Brussels Sprout one just seems like a joke flavor.

Well, yeah. The whole thing is a joke product. It comes with utensils, as well as a list of recommended wines that go well with your "meal". ALSO COMES WITH TURKEY SODA
 

BlueTsunami

there is joy in sucking dick
GhaleonEB said:

Oh man, that review fucken rocked.

"Its hard to imagine Life after Turkey and Gravy soda"

:lol

"beverage flavored like dead cooked turkey meat created an ambiance of "last day on the planet" amongst us."

:lol:lol:lol

the year 20XX said:
Well, yeah. The whole thing is a joke product. It comes with utensils, as well as a list of recommended wines that go well with your "meal". ALSO COMES WITH TURKEY SODA

The only reason I would buy this crap is to give to charity and serve this to family members (in a cup) and see how they react.

"Why the fuck am I drinking turkey and gravy...what the fuck is this?" is the reaction i'm hoping to get.
 

Jewbacca

Banned
Here are close ups lol... I will finish that brussels sprout one dammit.

6f6e7aee.jpg


89ad6a22.jpg


HPIM3804.jpg
 

BlueTsunami

there is joy in sucking dick
WTF at the crying baby on the Brussels Sprout one. This company producing this stuff HAS to hate children. Which means they hate freedom...and the future...
 

Cosmic Bus

pristine morning snow
I picked up this season's pack of sodas a few weeks ago and just got around to trying them:

jones_barf.jpg


The mainstay: Turkey & Gravy
Newbies: Dinner roll, Pea, Sweet Potato, and Antacid.

First up was dinner roll. Tastes more like butter flavor than baked rolls, and reminds me quite a bit of Jelly Belly's "buttered popcorn" flavor. Not horrible, but hardly something I'd intentionally drink.

Sweet potato manages to actually be intriguing, with a very faint tuber-taste and a more pronounced marshmallow flavor, presumably since some people bake 'em on top of this dish. I sort of like this one.

Pea was vaguely familiar, reminding me of a mixture of flat beer and vegatable matter. Erm. It's not particularly tasty, but not offensively bad either.

What hasn't already been said about turkey & gravy? Smells awful; if it makes any sense, this has an overwhelming "warm" odor. Microwaved socks? Unexpectedly bland at first, but the aftertaste is wretched.

Of all of these, I firmly believe Jones could market and sell their antacid flavor on a regular basis. With it's watered-down wintergreen flavoring, this brings carbonated Peptobismal instantly to mind and is welcome normalcy after the fermented meat slurry.

I'm curious to see what they can come up with for next year. Perhaps green bean casserole and mince meat?
 
Holy crap! We've got a secret santa thing going on over here at work and I've been trying to think of some lame ass gift to give this person. Problem solved.

Thank you GAF!
 
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