Every Fighter from both worlds loved Christmas a lot
But the egotistical supervillain from Capcom DID NOT!
Wesker hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his trenchcoat was on too tight.
It could be, perhaps, that his shades let in too much light.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his hyper meter was two sizes too small.
But,
Whatever the reason,
His coat or his shades,
He stood there on Christmas Eve, wishing them an early grave,
Staring down from his cave with a sour,evil frown
At the lower tier fighters below in their town.
For he knew every fighter down in MvC-ville beneath
Was busy now, hanging a mistleoe wreath.
"And they're hanging their stockings!" he snarled with a sneer.
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find a way to keep Christmas from coming!"
For, tomorrow, he knew...
...All the fighting girls and boys
Would wake up bright and early. They'd rush for their toys!
Like deadpool's stupid voice! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
And Akuma's english dub! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Some guns for Chris, Deadpool, and Task,
Iron Fist would also get a new mask,
For Sentinel would get some new drones
And for Phoenix Wright, a new Cell Phone.
And THEN
They'd do something and he'd want to stop it!
Every fighter down in MvC-ville, from Nemesis to tiny Rocket ,
Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And they would start singing!
They'd sing! And they'd sing!
AND they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!
And the more the god tier thought of the MvC-sing
The more the maniac thought, "I must stop this whole thing!
"Why since the first RE I've put up with it now!
I MUST stop Christmas from coming!
...But HOW?"
Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
WESKER
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" Wesker laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and another trenchcoat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great evil trick!
"With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like Saint Nick!"
"All I need is a reindeer..."
Wesker looked around.
But since reindeer were used in his experiments,
there were none to be found.
Did that stop the old criminal...?
No! Wesker simply said,
"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"
So he captured Amaterasu. Then he took some red thread
And he tied a big horn on top of her head.
THEN
He loaded some bags
Which looked kind of modest
On a ramshakle sleigh
And he hitched up the old goddess
Then Wesker said, "Giddyap!"
And the sleigh started down
Toward the homes where the fighters
Lay knocked out in their town.
All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
All the fighters were all Lost in Nightmares without care
When he came to the first house in the square.
"This is stop number one," Wesker Claus hissed
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
Then he slid down the chimney. It was thin as a rod.
But if Santa could do it, then so could the self proclaimed God.
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue
Where the Avengers stockings all hung in a row.
"These stockings," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"
Then he teleported around, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole room, and he took every present!
Metal Shields! And hammers! Metal suits! Bows!
Cameras! Motorbikes! Law books! And arrows!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then Wesker, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!
Then he stuffed all the gifts up the chimney with glee.
"And NOW!" grinned the Grinch, "I will shoot down the tree!"
And Wesker grabbed his gun, and he started to blast,
When he heard a loud sound and was taken aghast.
He turned around fast, and he saw a jiang-shi!
It was little Hsien-Ko, who was looking a bit antsy.
Wesker had been caught by this little low tier
Who'd got out of bed for a cup of Odin's beer.
She stared at Wesker and said, "Santy Claus, why,
"Why are you shooting our Christmas tree? WHY?"
But, you know, that Wesker was so smart and so slick
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, my sweet little ghost," the fake Santy Claus used his imagination,
This tree was stopping me from acheiving global saturation.
And he fib fooled the ghost. Then he patted her head
And he spiked her drink and he sent her to bed.
And when Hsien-ko went to bed with her cup,
HE went to the chimney and shot the tree up!
Then the last thing he took
Was the log for their fire.
Then he went up the chimney himself, the old liar.
On their walls he left nothing but hooks, and some wire.
And the one speck of food
The he left in the house
Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.
Then
He did the same thing
To the other fighters houses
Leaving crumbs
Much too small
For even Arthur's small mouses!
It was quarter past dawn...
All the fighters, still a-bed
All the warriors, still a-snooze
When he packed up his sled,
Packed it up with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings!
The guns! And the swords! The chains! Rocket's trappings!
Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Metro City,
He rode to the tiptop to dump it!
"I am the only God!" he was evilly humming.
"They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming!
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
"The all the fighters down in MvC-ville will all cry BOO-HOO!"
"That's a noise," grinned the villain,
"That I simply must hear!"
So he paused. And Albert Wesker put a hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow...
But the sound wasn't sad!
Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so!
But it WAS merry! VERY!
Every fighter down in MvC-ville, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any presents at all!
He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming!
IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And Wesker, with his black boots in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?
It came without ribbons! It came without tags!
"It came without packages, boxes or bags!"
And he puzzled three hours, `till his puzzler was sore.
Then Wesker thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store.
"Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"
And what happened then...?
Well...in MvC-ville they say
That the egomaniac's hyper bar
Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute he had some more meter he didn't feel spite
And he Phantom Danced through the bright morning light
And he brought back the weapons! And even the special moves
And he...
...HE HIMSELF...!
Wesker shared his buffs to help the low tiers improve!