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[Wilsongt]

Thanks for commiserating with me :lol

It's such a miserable state of affairs. Girls love me, lesbians love me, tons of straight guy friends hang with me....I'm attracting every crowd except the right one. What the fuck.

You definitely have it better than I do. :lol

I have very few friends, but the ones I do are loyal. I get along a lot better with girls, but I am scared to death of other gay guys.

It also doesn't help that I am damaged goods, in a sense, that I have a lot of self-esteem issues and relationship issues as it is. I am currently in a relationship, but there are a ton of problems that shouldn't be there that I don't know how to take care of.

Chin up! At least you have GayGAF here for support!

 

[Freestyler]

Thanks for commiserating with me :lol

It's such a miserable state of affairs. Girls love me, lesbians love me, tons of straight guy friends hang with me....I'm attracting every crowd except the right one. What the fuck.

You know what I'm actually considering -- that speed dating crap. It's like $20 for a night, and no commitments. Can't be too awful, right?

I'm so horny.

I'm Ted, from Queer as Folk. Just not an accountant, and better at conversation.

:lol

I actually liken myself to Ted (or the UK version of him, if it's not Ted) all the time.

I'm in the same boat as you seem to be - well I have been anyway since my seven-year 'best friends with benefits' (which was pretty much a relationship) situation ended a few months back.

The work thing definitely pisses me off - since I've been at this company (5 years), three couples have got together and one of the couples is now married with two kids. Yet in this company of 50 people, there are no gays other than me, even though every time we hire someone new in my department I beg for us to specify that they must be 20-25 and gay :lol

OUR TIME WILL COME!!

 

[Magnus]

Yes, this thread is a haven atm.

I'm sorry to hear about your similar troubles. =/

/highfive Freestyler, it hopefully will.

 

[Amibguous Cad]

I appreciate the replies, but that's just the point; sticking to what I love to do day to day isn't cutting it for meeting people. I'm not naive enough to think that no homos will show up where I am, but how the fuck do I find them? I have the faultiest gaydar on the planet, and I'm apparently well-concealed myself, so I'm like the blind looking for the invisible. Or something. That was a terrible analogy.

Online seemed to be the only safe way to find people who prefer not to announce their sexual orientation with their dress code or their choice of venue for Saturday night, and it's turned into a trainwreck.

I haven't really had more than one date with anyone before tiring of them, lol. Every last one has been rah-rah queers activist, ridiculously effeminate or ready to hop in the sack right away (which I took advantage of, but ended up regretting later).

I've just about given up, and I'm 24. There have to be some normals out there? I'm so fucking tired of seeing everyone around me fall in love and into relationships without even trying.

To add insult to injury, my best friend just had his 1-year anniversary with his girlfriend, and they were practically unbeknownst high-school sweethearts for the last seven years. I never even see the guy anymore because he's too busy being happy doing ho's before bros, and I mean, I'm happy for him, but we used to commiserate together for eons about our poor luck with relationships and dating and swore we'd never shut each other out, and here we are, after I practically had to push them together to realize they loved each other. It's like a really bad sitcom, but the nice guy is finishing last.

Dude knew how much Pride and the parade mattered to me this year (was my first year going to it), swore months back he'd come with me so I wouldn't have to be down there alone, and ditched me with 'work' (aka the gf) piling up on his schedule when the weekend arrived.

Kill me.

I'm 2-for-2 on the online front. Keep it up and you'll meet someone you like. You don't feel chemistry on the first date, move on and try someone else. You'll have a lot of muck to sort through, but if you try a shotgun approach you'll eventually find someone.

 

[Abolisher]

I'm 2-for-2 on the online front. Keep it up and you'll meet someone you like. You don't feel chemistry on the first date, move on and try someone else. You'll have a lot of muck to sort through, but if you try a shotgun approach you'll eventually find someone.

I tried the online thing only once, although we didnt exactly hit it off as a couple we remain friends and still speak.

Im not into the whole gay scene atm just yet but is there really any chance in one actually finding someone from a club or a bar? Im pretty sure most of those people only have one thing on their mind and its either partying or finding someone to fu... well you know what I mean.

I dont think I would ever go to one of these locales unless I already had a significant other and we just wanted to go out for fun.

So whats everyones 4th of July looking like?

 

[Ollie Pooch]

so I wanted to ask my fellow gay gaffers,

what do you guys think of an open relationship? is it even possible

me and the bf have one and it works out well, and has done for the better part of 3 years. as long as you don't let your attentions/mind wander to another guy (i have a bad habit of becoming mates with ppl i bone, sometimes rubs him the wrong way ... ) youll be sweet. jealousy is the killer in that situation. of course it goes without saying that you wanna stay as safe as possible. get tested, etc etc.

also, to guys complaining that effeminate/'obnoxious' guys give gays a bad image, i think your issue is with the people that lump gay guys into one huge category, not the effeminate guys themselves.

and +1 for online - definitely possible to find some cool people on there.

 

[Sai-kun]

I tried the online thing only once, although we didnt exactly hit it off as a couple we remain friends and still speak.

Im not into the whole gay scene atm just yet but is there really any chance in one actually finding someone from a club or a bar? Im pretty sure most of those people only have one thing on their mind and its either partying or finding someone to fu... well you know what I mean.

I dont think I would ever go to one of these locales unless I already had a significant other and we just wanted to go out for fun.

So whats everyones 4th of July looking like?

Hung out with my nieces, on the way home right now to finish up season 3 of battlestar galactica rain sucks and my bf is going away for awhile Wednesday ughhhh!!! ((

 

[Garcia]

also, to guys complaining that effeminate/'obnoxious' guys give gays a bad image, i think your issue is with the people that lump gay guys into one huge category, not the effeminate guys themselves.

Absolutely. It's the fact that a good portion of intolerant people tend to wrap all of us into the same category of the effeminate/annoying what angers some of us. But we have to teach some people that's not the case instead of just throwing the guilt on others.

 

[Amibguous Cad]

Rain unfortunately canceled my fireworks plans, but I got to see Uncle Sam's soccer team kick the crap out of Grenada instead, so it wasn't all bad

 

[Gaborn]

me and the bf have one and it works out well, and has done for the better part of 3 years. as long as you don't let your attentions/mind wander to another guy (i have a bad habit of becoming mates with ppl i bone, sometimes rubs him the wrong way ... ) youll be sweet. jealousy is the killer in that situation. of course it goes without saying that you wanna stay as safe as possible. get tested, etc etc.

also, to guys complaining that effeminate/'obnoxious' guys give gays a bad image, i think your issue is with the people that lump gay guys into one huge category, not the effeminate guys themselves.

and +1 for online - definitely possible to find some cool people on there.

I agree with that, but I'd like to add that, although on a personal level extreme effeminacy is a turnoff (a little bit can be a turn-on though) I have a HUGE amount of respect for effeminate gays. Historically effeminate gays have been the face of our community for a long time. More masculine gay guys have been better able to "blend in" with society, but more effeminate gay guys can't necessarily do that while remaining true to themselves.

They're acting in accordance to how they feel, and who they are, what their personality is. That takes enormous courage and is probably the hardest thing to do. I don't always share their interests but why shouldn't I embrace them? they've had to deal with a helluva lot more crap over their sexuality than I ever did, simply because I enjoy a beer and a football game as much as I do a hot guy.

So, I salute them. I respect them.

 

[Amibguous Cad]

I agree with that, but I'd like to add that, although on a personal level extreme effeminacy is a turnoff (a little bit can be a turn-on though) I have a HUGE amount of respect for effeminate gays. Historically effeminate gays have been the face of our community for a long time. More masculine gay guys have been better able to "blend in" with society, but more effeminate gay guys can't necessarily do that while remaining true to themselves.

They're acting in accordance to how they feel, and who they are, what their personality is. That takes enormous courage and is probably the hardest thing to do. I don't always share their interests but why shouldn't I embrace them? they've had to deal with a helluva lot more crap over their sexuality than I ever did, simply because I enjoy a beer and a football game as much as I do a hot guy.

So, I salute them. I respect them.

Well said.

 

[KibblesBits]

IMO there's nothing sexier than a feminine guy who isn't putting up a front. Gay-gaf is missing out on some sweet, sweet guys. Oh well, have fun being lonely! :lol

 

[Skittleguy]

Again, it's a preference. I don't hate them, but they don't really rev my engine so to speak.

 

[Dead Man]

It's possible I wouldn't believe you either. And ANYONE can do that ONCE...

Why are men so hard to convince?

Sounds like this guy wanted his dick sucked more than he wanted to be sure you were down for it, :lol

Probably :lol

I agree with that, but I'd like to add that, although on a personal level extreme effeminacy is a turnoff (a little bit can be a turn-on though) I have a HUGE amount of respect for effeminate gays. Historically effeminate gays have been the face of our community for a long time. More masculine gay guys have been better able to "blend in" with society, but more effeminate gay guys can't necessarily do that while remaining true to themselves.

They're acting in accordance to how they feel, and who they are, what their personality is. That takes enormous courage and is probably the hardest thing to do. I don't always share their interests but why shouldn't I embrace them? they've had to deal with a helluva lot more crap over their sexuality than I ever did, simply because I enjoy a beer and a football game as much as I do a hot guy.

So, I salute them. I respect them.

Agree with this 100%, I've never had to deal with homophobia, so those who have automatically get my respect. Of course, catty guys still give me the shits!

 

[davidthemute]

HEY GUYS! Are you recruiting?!

 

[KibblesBits]

HEY GUYS! Are you recruiting?!

Pics first. :lol

 

[Garcia]

HEY GUYS! Are you recruiting?!

Jump in !

 

[Mumei]

Jump in !

See the post above yours? He has the right idea.

 

[Amibguous Cad]

HEY GUYS! Are you recruiting?!

Sweet, we're nearing our quota!

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28970

 

[Mumei]

... $630 million? We've got a pretty impressive advertising budget. :lol

 

[davidthemute]

I kid. btk already claimed me for his free toaster.

 

[Numbers]

I kid. btk already claimed me for his free toaster.

Nice avatar

 

[Garcia]

See the post above yours? He has the right idea.

This ain't the Hot Men Thread Part.2 though !

Spoiler

yet.

 

[i_am_ben]

Pics first. :lol

you're like a gay yoda.

 

[KibblesBits]

you're like a gay yoda.

i'm tired and my brain is in standby... what do you mean?

 

[davidthemute]

Nice avatar

Yeah, I realized it looked like a peen afterwards. Never got around to changing it.

 

[Numbers]

Yeah, I realized it looked like a peen afterwards. Never got around to changing it.

Well, I wasn't implying that, I just like NIN..

 

[i_am_ben]

i'm tired and my brain is in standby... what do you mean?

i'm saying you're wise.

 

[davidthemute]

Well, I wasn't implying that, I just like NIN..

Oh, oops.

 

[KibblesBits]

i'm saying you're wise.

oh thanks. i thought you meant i had a strange method of speaking. :lol

 

[Amibguous Cad]

Yeah, I realized it looked like a peen afterwards. Never got around to changing it.

I have no idea what penises you're looking at, but if most straight men think they're at a 90 degree angle, it's not a wonder they're so terrified of anal sex.

 

[btkadams]

Yeah, I realized it looked like a peen afterwards. Never got around to changing it.

i definitely did not make that connection but i will never unsee it now.

 

[davidthemute]

I have no idea what penises you're looking at, but if most straight men think they're at a 90 degree angle, it's not a wonder they're so terrified of anal sex.

I'm confused about if you're calling me straight. As you can probably tell, I'm terrible at inferring. :/

 

[Tntnnbltn]

I was going to have a rant, but every time I tried to write something it just came off as being pretentious. So I'm just going to keep it short and sweet...

I'm sick of being single.

 

[Suerte]

I think I'm getting worse with age, I dumped someone this week because they were too clingy/taking things too fast, but I've also dumped someone recently for not caring enough. Meh.

Although I'm not really looking for a relationship at the moment, I only moved to London 9 months ago so I'm not in any rush to settle down, happy to continue having fun being single at the moment.

 

[Escape Goat]

I was going to have a rant, but every time I tried to write something it just came off as being pretentious. So I'm just going to keep it short and sweet...

I'm sick of being single.

where do you live?

 

[sphinx]

I think I'm getting worse with age, I dumped someone this week because they were too clingy/taking things too fast, but I've also dumped someone recently for not caring enough. Meh.

the " He is going too fast " situation is a myth, I think you weren't thaaat much into him, so even if he waited patiently, I really don't think you would have been his commited boyfriend at any time.

happens to me all the time, from both sides, I've been dumped for just saying " I think I am falling in love ", that scared the shit out of the guy and he ran, ran as far away as he could. Other people wouldn't stop talking about, "I'd marry you for eternity" and I'd think " O.k. how do I get out if this? " :lol :lol now, if I want love, why would I think how to get out of it? exactly, cause I really don't want , at least not that much, to be with the guy. If someone I really wanted told me he'd marry me for life on the first days or weeks, I wouldn't mind . anyway, time will tell if the relationship will suceed or not, all that matters at that time is that I'd like to try, so I go for it, either going fast or slow, as long as the level of interest is the same as mine.

My point is, it takes maximal 3 days to know if something can work or not, so I just discarded the stance " Woah, you are going too fast " all together because I don't believe in it. When that guy told me " Let's take things calmy " I just rolled my eyes, and understood it quite well. I didn't have the balls to tell him what I am writing right here but maybe I should in the future.

 

[Tntnnbltn]

where do you live?

Perth, Western Australia. It's the state's capital city, so there's probably a thriving gay community, only I'm not a part of it. All of my regular social circles (friends, uni, work) are overwhelmingly heterosexual. I've been to the major gay bar a couple times, but I'm not really into the going out and clubbing kind of scene, so don't usually have fun. Plus I'd have to either go alone or drag alone one of my (straight) friends.

 

[sphinx]

Perth, Western Australia. It's the state's capital city, so there's probably a thriving gay community, only I'm not a part of it. All of my regular social circles (friends, uni, work) are overwhelmingly heterosexual. I've been to the major gay bar a couple times, but I'm not really into the going out and clubbing kind of scene, so don't usually have fun. Plus I'd have to either go alone or drag alone one of my (straight) friends.

Perth!!! awesome, it's the BEST city in Australia, and I've been to Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide and Canberra as well and the water, the streets, every thing is sooo nice.

Sadly it is, like it's said in german, " am Arsch der Welt " :lol :lol ( at the ass of the world, literaly translated), meaning just too far away from anything else.

 

[Suerte]

the " He is going too fast " situation is a myth, I think you weren't thaaat much into him, so even if he waited patiently, I really don't think you would have been his commited boyfriend at any time.

You're probably right, although annoyingly I'm one of these people (not sure if it's because I'm an only child) that really values their own space. This guy wanted to meet up ALL the time so put me off. The "love of my life" (who I continue to compare everyone else to) was an only child too and had the ability of knowing when I needed my own space, likewise I knew when he did. So yeah, not so much the speed things were moving more just feeling a bit suffocated. I probably should have just explained that to him but eh, as you said, I probably wasn't that in to him anyway.

OH WELL.

 

[Tntnnbltn]

Sadly it is, like it's said in german, " am Arsch der Welt " :lol :lol ( at the ass of the world, literaly translated), meaning just too far away from anything else.

Indeed.

"Perth is second most isolated metropolitan area on Earth after Honolulu, Hawaii. The nearest city to Perth with a population over 1 million is Adelaide in South Australia, which is 2,104 kilometres (1,307 mi) away."

 

[dragonlife]

I'm sick of being single.

How come?

My best friend is/was just like you...not sure if they're still like that, though, since their situation confuses me.

 

[Wilsongt]

GayGAF, I have a question.

What do you do about a boyfriend who has a profile on a hook-up website, but that you've already confronted about it and they lied through their teeth?

 

[dragonlife]

GayGAF, I have a question.

What do you do about a boyfriend who has a profile on a hook-up website, but that you've already confronted about it and they lied through their teeth?

Whoa.

He doesn't sound very loyal from that alone.

How'd you find out about it?

 

[xelios]

GayGAF, I have a question.

What do you do about a boyfriend who has a profile on a hook-up website, but that you've already confronted about it and they lied through their teeth?

Not LTR worthy.

 

[Wilsongt]

Whoa.

He doesn't sound very loyal from that alone.

How'd you find out about it?

I have some slight paranoia issues, and I've been in relationships in the past where my partner has done the same thing. So, needless to say, I can spot a red flag pretty easily.

One day he said he was going to the library, but the library had already closed. He left Gmail pretty abruptly that night, also.

I got curious so I logged onto the website to try and allay my fears, but lo and behold, I found the profile. I confronted him the next day after I sent that profile messages for a couple of hours and got some pretty specific information that led me to believe it was my partner. I confronted him about it, but he lied through his teeth, saying it was a vicious queen posing as him.

Well, I've been watching the profile ever since and it only logs in when my partner is logged onto the computer and is never online when my partner is not.

Further more, my birthday was last Sunday and my partner did all of these sweet things for me. The next day, he logs onto the website and actually adds more information to the profile. Talk about pouring salt into an already open, festering wound.

 

[Suerte]

GayGAF, I have a question.

What do you do about a boyfriend who has a profile on a hook-up website, but that you've already confronted about it and they lied through their teeth?

Link to profile plz.

But really, yeah, not so good.

 

[sphinx]

GayGAF, I have a question.

What do you do about a boyfriend who has a profile on a hook-up website, but that you've already confronted about it and they lied through their teeth?

you mean, you asked a guy if he had a profile at some hook-up site, he denied it and you later found out he had one?

I wouldn't rush into conclusions, many people open proifles that they later never use, and most of the time, if he is serious and honest, it won't get in contact with people in the site, or at least not for sexual purposes.

EDIT: lying is NEVER good, I would confront him for that, more than having a profile.

 

[Wilsongt]

I wouldn't rush into conclusions, many people open proifles that they later never use, and most of the time, if he is serious and honest, it won't get in contact with people in the site, or at least not for sexual purposes.

This is what I was somewhat thinking, that he isn't actually doing anything behind my back. But, still...

 

[xelios]

This is what I was somewhat thinking, that he isn't actually doing anything behind my back. But, still...

Hopefully not, but going to the library when the library has already closed is fishy, updating a hookup profile with more info = probably still looking to hookup. Regardless he shouldn't be lying to you.