ZephyrFate said:I actually didn't mean to imply that. I actually think being a vegetarian is really healthy and I wish I could be one. =[
Ahhh, fair enough.
ZephyrFate said:I actually didn't mean to imply that. I actually think being a vegetarian is really healthy and I wish I could be one. =[
RiskyChris said:It's like, I'm a vegetarian, right? I get this kind of shit all the time.
Someone offers me something to eat, and I'm like "no thanks, I'm a vegetarian/don't eat meat/etc." And they give me this fuckin' raised eyebrow like I just inconvenienced them.
ZephyrFate said:I actually didn't mean to imply that. I actually think being a vegetarian is really healthy and I wish I could be one. =[
Sai-kun said:but i love meat so much.
Gaborn said:I like the corollary this implies.
That's exactly why I'm not vegetarian. I love meat.Sai-kun said:but i love meat so much.
ZephyrFate said:That's exactly why I'm not vegetarian. I love meat.
ZephyrFate said:Because being obnoxious and flamboyant, i.e. painting the wrong mental image of the gay population as a whole, is also leading us to equality.
Maybe when the rest of the world doesn't think we're all superbly feminine and flamboyant, eccentric to the max, and etc. then we can start to gain some footholds.
I wish I had a constant amount of meat everyday.Sai-kun said:I could eat meat all day.
Why would that question offend you, unless she had a really negative tone? I've asked it before, because I want to know what reasoning a person had to make such a choice. Health, animal cruelty, etc.blame space said:I can take this one step further. My roommate's sister came over the other day, I'd never met her before. The first words out of her mouth after my roommate introduced us: "So why are you a vegetarian?"
My mouth dropped. I'm a pretty quiet vegetarian (at least I am when I'm not online), but I was extremely close to just going off on her. Instead I just smiled and said, "Well, there are a lot of reasons."
I hate people sometimes. Sorry for being off-topic.
Mumei said:Why are you conflating obnoxiousness and flamboyancy?
Crab Shaker said:Why would that question offend you, unless she had a really negative tone? I've asked it before, because I want to know what reasoning a person had to make such a choice. Health, animal cruelty, etc.
I find it even more obnoxious when people liken me to "holding back" the gay community because of my opinions. I have a middle finger to throw up to that bullshit. I'm all for pride parades, gay rights, and changing society's image of us.Mumei said:Why are you conflating obnoxiousness and flamboyancy?
ETA:
I find it truly obnoxious when people like you whine about people who are effeminate, as though it is their fault, removing all responsibility from the bigots.
Well, in all honesty that sounds like either a really funny person or a douchebag.RiskyChris said:I've had someone open a conversation up with "so you think you're better than me?" It was probably with a negative tone :lol
RiskyChris said:Yeah this is a pretty crazy thing to be parroting in this thread. Good luck with that argument...
ZephyrFate said:I find it even more obnoxious when people liken me to "holding back" the gay community because of my opinions. I have a middle finger to throw up to that bullshit. I'm all for pride parades, gay rights, and changing society's image of us.
If that's not good enough, then screw you.
ZephyrFate said:I find it even more obnoxious when people liken me to "holding back" the gay community because of my opinions. I have a middle finger to throw up to that bullshit. I'm all for pride parades, gay rights, and changing society's image of us.
If that's not good enough, then screw you.
HAHAHAHAMumei said:I'm not sure why. Some people might find it obnoxious, but they aren't the same thing.
Homophobia is essentially a form of anti-femininity - at its core, it is about castigating femininity in men (and masculinity in women, to a lesser degree). The problem is people who point their finger at effeminate gay men, and make up nonsense about how their behavior is somehow genuine and who they really are, while those other faggots who mince about are just engaging in some sort of self-consciously obnoxious affectation, and who really deserve all the shit that comes their way.
It's an absurd form of blaming the victim, and I'm surprised to see it.
ZephyrFate said:HAHAHAHA
So you're calling me homophobic, now? I think we're done here. This argument is becoming incredibly absurd, incredibly fast.
So let's talk about men. Men are awesome.
ZephyrFate said:HAHAHAHA
So you're calling me homophobic, now? I think we're done here. This argument is becoming incredibly absurd, incredibly fast.
So let's talk about men. Men are awesome.
For the good of the thread I am not going to continue this. Please, continue to sling mud. I'm not going to respond anymore, take that as you will. This thread deserves better discussion.Mumei said:I didn't attempt to label you.
Where did I mess up, then? You do believe the effeminacy in men is loathsome, right? You believe that responsibility for homophobia lies primarily with effeminate gay men, right? You absolve homophobes of their responsibility, because you believe that if it weren't for those other faggots messing everything up things would be just great, right?
So where did I get your position wrong? You aren't actually blaming the victims for the bigots' hang-ups?
ZephyrFate said:For the good of the thread I am not going to continue this. Please, continue to sling mud. I'm not going to respond anymore, take that as you will. This thread deserves better discussion.
ZephyrFate said:I'm not homophobic. I am just pissed off that society lumps the gay image into flamboyant / effeminate when I am pretty much neither, therefore people assume I MUST be that way or I'm not gay. Then, I'd have to prove it through methods idahoblue stated earlier, and that's just bothersome.
People don't understand that gay is a variety of flavors, not just the one. It just so happens that effeminate gays are the ones who are the most vocal, get the most attention, etc. Because of that gay guys like me get lumped into being like them, when we're not. We're a different variety of gay altogether.
God I'm so tired of this argument. I'm going to go write more on my novel
ZephyrFate said:I'm not homophobic. I am just pissed off that society lumps the gay image into flamboyant / effeminate when I am pretty much neither, therefore people assume I MUST be that way or I'm not gay. Then, I'd have to prove it through methods idahoblue stated earlier, and that's just bothersome.
People don't understand that gay is a variety of flavors, not just the one. It just so happens that effeminate gays are the ones who are the most vocal, get the most attention, etc. Because of that gay guys like me get lumped into being like them, when we're not. We're a different variety of gay altogether.
God I'm so tired of this argument. I'm going to go write more on my novel
ZephyrFate said:I'm not homophobic. I am just pissed off that society lumps the gay image into flamboyant / effeminate when I am pretty much neither, therefore people assume I MUST be that way or I'm not gay. Then, I'd have to prove it through methods idahoblue stated earlier, and that's just bothersome.
People don't understand that gay is a variety of flavors, not just the one. It just so happens that effeminate gays are the ones who are the most vocal, get the most attention, etc. Because of that gay guys like me get lumped into being like them, when we're not. We're a different variety of gay altogether.
God I'm so tired of this argument. I'm going to go write more on my novel
The newsletter is called, "Everyone gangs up on ZephyrFate for having the lone dissenting gay opinion"Suerte said:Your ideas intrigue me and I wish to sign up for your newsletter.
ZephyrFate said:The newsletter is called, "Everyone gangs up on ZephyrFate for having the lone dissenting gay opinion"![]()
RiskyChris said:It's like, I'm a vegetarian, right? I get this kind of shit all the time.
Someone offers me something to eat, and I'm like "no thanks, I'm a vegetarian/don't eat meat/etc." And they give me this fuckin' raised eyebrow like I just inconvenienced them.
blame space said:I can take this one step further. My roommate's sister came over the other day, I'd never met her before. The first words out of her mouth after my roommate introduced us: "So why are you a vegetarian?".
ZephyrFate said:The newsletter is called, "Everyone gangs up on ZephyrFate for having the lone dissenting gay opinion"![]()
Perhaps you can have your protagonist give a lone dissenting opinion. An epic battle sequence is sure to ensue.ZephyrFate said:and with that, I really need to finish this god damn chapter up it's driving me insane and there's an epic battle sequence I have to get out of the way!
I think I'm getting tired. I honestly just read this as "I miss having sex with you on a regular basis."Cosmic Bus said:Hi, Suerte! I miss having you around on a regular basis.
Cosmic Bus said:Hi, Suerte! I miss having you around on a regular basis.
Tntnnbltn said:I think I'm getting tired. I honestly just read this as "I miss having sex with you on a regular basis."
dragonlife29 said:Men, drama, discussion of men, relationships, debate...
Sounds like a successful GayGAF thread!
Mumei said:You.
I couldn't decide how to answer that question. What do you think?
excelforward said:I'd say... well. Shit.
You're just Mumei.
THEN WHY DID YOU ASK ME. that puts me in such a weird position, do you not agree? if he thought it would be weird then why would he even bring that up. like i really wanted to know that guys were wanting to hook up with him.Him: would you mind if i went and danced with other guys?
Me: um.... what do you mean?
Him: well a few guys have been giving me looks like they want to dance with me. would you be bothered by that? is that ok?
Me: well...you can do what you want i guess but to be honest that would look like a really big asshole move.
Him: yeah it would be weird.
btkadams said:THEN WHY DID YOU ASK ME.
:/ that is what is going through my head. he claims it wasn't. and that he was just curious on what i thought.Mumei said:'cause he wanted to dance with other boys really bad, and he knew it was an asshole-ish thing to do, so he decided to ask for permission and see if he got lucky.
My guess, anyway
we've probably been to the gay club like 7 or 8 times together. and yeah it was the first time he's ever said something like that.Suerte said:It sounds like this is the first time that kind of thing has happened, do you often go out to gay clubs together?
I doubt he meant anything by it, he was probably just drunk & felt overly confident from (what he assumed to be) people checking him out.
Magnus said:Livejournal time!
I live in Toronto, one of the gay-friendliest cities on the planet, and I couldn't feel more distant from my fellow homos. I go enjoy a night at the bars and clubs and whatever downtown with friends every now and then, but they're either lesbians or visitors to that part of town, and we all say goodbye to it at the end of the night. I can never meet anyone down there that has more to offer than a hot body for 30 seconds on the dance floor. Online dating is one repeat bust after another, with people misrepresenting or all turning out to be extremely flamboyant or into the community, and neither applies to me.
All the gay people I know fall into relationships with people they actually meet at work, friends from high school or university, or just random hookups. I always chuckle when I hear these stories, because despite my hunt, I never meet homos at work (either customers or coworkers) and high school was a barren wasteland (I knew of only two others at the time, and two more since, none of which I was attracted to then or now).
What am I doing wrong? I'm so disconnected from the queer community in one of the largest queer friendly cities on Earth, and I feel like I'll never find anyone. Do I have to throw myself into village events and communities, volunteer down there, start announcing it more in the hopes someone will hear? Just keep plugging away at online dating? (which has scored an 0 for 7 so far over the last few years for me) No one I know has had to do that to meet people. I hate the idea of going out to hunt for a relationship; everyone, and I mean everyone I know has had them naturally evolve from friendships that entered their lives. Everyone I meet in the course of my life winds up straight, without fail. It's depressing.
Sorry, I'm done now.
How do you guys connect to your local gay communities? Are they responsible for you finding the people you wind up with in dating or relationships?
KibblesBits said:IMO you should just focus on the things that you enjoy doing day to day and keep an eye out for anyone who may be of interest to you in those activities. The online scene is a mess and clubs are for getting hookups.... don't you think you're more likely to enjoy the person you meet more at an event you like instead of one you don't like?
KibblesBits said:IMO you should just focus on the things that you enjoy doing day to day and keep an eye out for anyone who may be of interest to you in those activities. The online scene is a mess and clubs are for getting hookups.... don't you think you're more likely to enjoy the person you meet more at an event you like instead of one you don't like?
Magnus said:I appreciate the replies, but that's just the point; sticking to what I love to do day to day isn't cutting it for meeting people. I'm not naive enough to think that no homos will show up where I am, but how the fuck do I find them? I have the faultiest gaydar on the planet, and I'm apparently well-concealed myself, so I'm like the blind looking for the invisible. Or something. That was a terrible analogy.
Online seemed to be the only safe way to find people who prefer not to announce their sexual orientation with their dress code or their choice of venue for Saturday night, and it's turned into a trainwreck.
I haven't really had more than one date with anyone before tiring of them, lol. Every last one has been rah-rah queers activist, ridiculously effeminate or ready to hop in the sack right away (which I took advantage of, but ended up regretting later).
I've just about given up, and I'm 24. There have to be some normals out there? I'm so fucking tired of seeing everyone around me fall in love and into relationships without even trying.
Magnus said:I appreciate the replies, but that's just the point; sticking to what I love to do day to day isn't cutting it for meeting people. I'm not naive enough to think that no homos will show up where I am, but how the fuck do I find them? I have the faultiest gaydar on the planet, and I'm apparently well-concealed myself, so I'm like the blind looking for the invisible. Or something. That was a terrible analogy.
Online seemed to be the only safe way to find people who prefer not to announce their sexual orientation with their dress code or their choice of venue for Saturday night, and it's turned into a trainwreck.
I haven't really had more than one date with anyone before tiring of them, lol. Every last one has been rah-rah queers activist, ridiculously effeminate or ready to hop in the sack right away (which I took advantage of, but ended up regretting later).
I've just about given up, and I'm 24. There have to be some normals out there? I'm so fucking tired of seeing everyone around me fall in love and into relationships without even trying.
To add insult to injury, my best friend just had his 1-year anniversary with his girlfriend, and they were practically unbeknownst high-school sweethearts for the last seven years. I never even see the guy anymore because he's too busy being happy doing ho's before bros, and I mean, I'm happy for him, but we used to commiserate together for eons about our poor luck with relationships and dating and swore we'd never shut each other out, and here we are, after I practically had to push them together to realize they loved each other. It's like a really bad sitcom, but the nice guy is finishing last.
Dude knew how much Pride and the parade mattered to me this year (was my first year going to it), swore months back he'd come with me so I wouldn't have to be down there alone, and ditched me with 'work' (aka the gf) piling up on his schedule when the weekend arrived.
Kill me.