ZephyrFate
Banned
Ronaldo is hot.Amibguous Cad said:
We're Here! We're Queer! The All-Purpose Gay Discussion Thread!
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:lol :lol :lol :lol
all you people saying you are not effeminite....
sorry to burst your bubble but people SMELL us from miles away, we somehow give it away.
and in case you thought " well, I don't act like a girl, just like a gay man", don't fool yourselves, THAT's the very definition of "effeminate".
You will always compare to some guy more femenine than you and tell yourself " that's queer, not me" and some other guy will see you as the biggest queer in town.
all you people saying you are not effeminite....
sorry to burst your bubble but people SMELL us from miles away, we somehow give it away.
and in case you thought " well, I don't act like a girl, just like a gay man", don't fool yourselves, THAT's the very definition of "effeminate".
You will always compare to some guy more femenine than you and tell yourself " that's queer, not me" and some other guy will see you as the biggest queer in town.
Amibguous Cad
Member
ZephyrFate said:
He would be if he didn't have the douchiest smile in the world
sphinx said:
I imagine you'd be surprised.
sphinx said:
Meh. I don't consider myself particularly effeminate. I love sports more than most straight guys (and know more about them than the average straight guy). I have a lot of interests that are "stereotypically male" and am NOT stereotypically feminine. I'm not neat, I'm not a great fashion guy, if anything I'm a bit of a slob really. I'm like... the anti-effeminate gay guy.
Saint10118
Member
sphinx said:
shut it lady boy.
ZephyrFate
Banned
Most people I've met -- unless everyone I've met has very terrible gaydar -- cannot tell I'm gay and only barely notice any of my slightly effeminate mannerisms.sphinx said:
Saint10118
Member
I prefer to think that people don't know I'm gay, only that I'm awesome.
ZephyrFate
Banned
That's my motto!
you give it away by always being surrounded by men, pretending women don't exist ( happens to me, hihihihi )
Yeah, I have met lots of straight acting gay guys, I consider myself one but still this so called straight acting gay guys are somehow different from the straight acting straight guys.
I can't quite place it, maybe the eyes, or the way we walk, or some head movements. Even the most macho of them, there is something... distinctive.
Yeah, I have met lots of straight acting gay guys, I consider myself one but still this so called straight acting gay guys are somehow different from the straight acting straight guys.
I can't quite place it, maybe the eyes, or the way we walk, or some head movements. Even the most macho of them, there is something... distinctive.
How old are these individuals? And isn't that the same case with any person regardless of sexual orientation.KibblesBits said:
Personally I don't I care about "race" or ethnicity of a person. Generally speaking I think it's a generational thing, maybe regional too (and from country to country probably). I think the class/status/thing is more prominent among straight couples really (woman usually being the one of a different race/lower class/status).
I live in So Cal and I'm Hispanic and my bf is white ... We're both same status/class (you can factor in ethnicity in everything of course...)
Not sure if it was his intention, but apparently there's a higher rate of same sex attraction among twins. Meaning that there's usually one who's gay. I remember talking to a guy once and he said he attracted to men, but that his brother was straight-bi.proposition said:
Ollie Pooch
In a perfect world, we'd all be homersexual
sphinx said:
guess again sweet cheeks.
Souldriver
Member
Most gay guys I know are constantly surrounded by women or girls. So if you're saying this is big part of "how to recognize a gay guy", I can dismiss your theory already.sphinx said:
elektrikluv
Member
sphinx said:
Yep. Straight female here, and two of my good friends are gay. Initially upon meeting them I didn't outright suspect they were gay so they're pretty "straight acting" but its just really small mannerisms that made me think they were as I got to know them. Particularly tone of voice when expressing certain emotions. I don't know how to explain it really, but its very subtle. Obviously all subtlety was gone once they started to discuss their sex lives with me :lol
KibblesBits
Member
hateradio said:
You're most likely right... just one personal question...
How dark is your skin man?
I guess I'm a bit conservative, or maybe was sheltered from most opportunities to experiment during my teen years, but all I wanted since I was a teen was a LTR, preferably something permanent.
Anyway, when I was 17 my now boyfriend and I both lived in tiny church towns in the south. I thought the chance of meeting another gay guy until I went to college, let alone one who wasn't a creep and around my age, was nonexistent.
Through some miracle I met him on Phantasy Star Online of all places, and after months of talking he flew to meet me. He's 5 years older than me so was more capable at the time. Thanks to a mother who would lie to my father for the sake of my happiness, there was the meeting (one of the greatest experiences of my life) and then the parting (still easily the worst). It seemed like forever until I turned 18, but the same week I did I moved to another state to live with him. Now over 6 1/2 years after we first met we're still together. (IRL, not on Phantasy Star Online; the servers have long since shut down. :lol )
I still thank ___ every day, not just because he's an amazing guy, but because he's a gamer. And that we don't live in a small town anymore. The only end I foresee is the death of one of us.
Anyway, when I was 17 my now boyfriend and I both lived in tiny church towns in the south. I thought the chance of meeting another gay guy until I went to college, let alone one who wasn't a creep and around my age, was nonexistent.
Through some miracle I met him on Phantasy Star Online of all places, and after months of talking he flew to meet me. He's 5 years older than me so was more capable at the time. Thanks to a mother who would lie to my father for the sake of my happiness, there was the meeting (one of the greatest experiences of my life) and then the parting (still easily the worst). It seemed like forever until I turned 18, but the same week I did I moved to another state to live with him. Now over 6 1/2 years after we first met we're still together. (IRL, not on Phantasy Star Online; the servers have long since shut down. :lol )
I still thank ___ every day, not just because he's an amazing guy, but because he's a gamer. And that we don't live in a small town anymore. The only end I foresee is the death of one of us.
I've been think on how this applies to me. Only twice in my life has some asked is I was gay or bi, I'm 32 years old. They had both known me for some time. Unless I am around a group of gay men I think everyone assumes I'm straight, and even if they see me around a bunch of obvious gays they assume I'm the straight friend, or cousin, or something. Some gay guys have not been convinced to the point that I had to suck their dick to make them believe. I guess the meaning of the rambling piece of dribble is that people are individuals. There exists a spectrum, of more than one dimension to assess intersocial sexual roles.sphinx said:
One girl was scary though. I worked with here for 5 weeks and she just said, dude, you bi, aren't you? Kinds of shocked me. She was one of those slightly angry, but very cool and hard working dykes. Ended up being pretty good friends.
Masked Man
I said wow
xelios said:
That's adorable!
I'm so happy for you two.krypt0nian
Banned
xelios said:
This story made my day! Good for you!
Amibguous Cad
Member
mYm|17| said:
I'm in an open relationship right now. My current bf and I met during the summer right before I went off to college. We thought we'd try the distance thing, figuring it would be easier since I'd be home for the summer and breaks and such, but a few months into my college experience, it was clear that it wasn't working out. Rather than break up entirely, we agreed to see other people and meet up when I was back home for holidays.
So far, it's working out pretty well. Though I do have to say that the process is enormously simplified when your various SOs live in different metroipolitan areas :lol I probably wouldn't try it with people in the same geographic area (thus far I've remained faithful to my partners within a geographic area), because I have no idea how to deal with the spreading of time thing.
WickedAngel
Banned
sphinx said:
Some are more subtle than others about it. One of my better friends at the restaurant I used to work at had the mannerisms, dialect, and verbiage that a young black woman would use among her friends. He was a damned cool guy and a great personality to have around.
A few of the friends he introduced us too weren't as obvious but it became noticeable later on through body language and the discussions they were having.
RiskyChris
Banned
ZephyrFate said:
ZephyrFate said:
I am going to continue at this until you change your opinion. Do you hate pride parades too?
You should probably just never mention it like that again because you're holding everybody back.
idahoblue said:
Sounds like this guy wanted his dick sucked more than he wanted to be sure you were down for it, :lol
1. NoKibblesBits said:
2. Gay but don't act girly
3. It's been pretty rough, for many reasons outside of this. Although growing up with a very catholic father makes it hard to come out to the family.
4. Maybe
. My problem is that all the straight guys at my uni are absurdly hot, compared to the few outed guys.5. haha no
6. all the time
7. Nothing too much wrong with them, but they annoy me greatly and I suspect they don't help the public's perception. Not to mention that I like guys because they're guys, not because they're "ohmygawd lookit that stone on yo finga gurl" preteen girls.
8. I must admit I'm at the stage where I'm at a fork in the road. I am not very attracted to girls at all, but the idea of growing old together and having kids who have kids who have kids, and all the big family events is extremely tempting. My extended family is amazing, and it would have been great to be my grandpa/grandma. I am unsure if I would want to have to adopt instead of actually going through the process of having my own child with my partner.
This has effectively killed my dating scene, as there is a girl I really like (who is very pretty, but just isn't a guy), who I've found out from my friends that she really likes me, and I'm having a hard time deciding whether to go forward or not with it. Until then, I don't want to ruin the chances, so I'm pretty much on my own til I can make a decision
Gay clubs rock! Women in our party can enjoy themselves without getting hounded by other men thus allowing us to get to know them better without all that competition. And the atmosphere is great at said clubs... it's more fun
(EDIT) Yeah I'm not really bringing anything new to the discussions. Just wanted to chime in.
(EDIT) Yeah I'm not really bringing anything new to the discussions. Just wanted to chime in.
sphinx said:
The responses have been bothering me a bit, because of the gay men I've met - and it's a fairly decent-sized group - the norm has been a slightly-higher-than-average level of femininity. My understanding of masculinity and femininity is not that they are ends of the scale - that the more you are of one, the less you are of the other - but as two separate scales, so many of them are quite masculine, as well. The thing is, though, nearly all of them would rate higher on an accurate self-inventory of femininity than the average straight man taking the same self-inventory, even if they scored about evenly on the masculinity scale.
Obviously, I don't know whether my experiences are representative of gay people generally, or whether the posters on GAF tend to be gay men who actually are low in femininity and medium / high in masculinity... but I'm not sure I believe it. I think that there's a tendency to devalue femininity, especially in men, and to see it as a negative thing to be an effeminate gay man. So, I half expect that a number of the respondents thus far really are masculine - but that they are underestimating or underreporting how effeminate they are.
Response?
ZephyrFate
Banned
Hah, "holding everybody back", fuck you dude. Get off your high horse and don't speak for everyone.RiskyChris said:
Pride parades are fine, I have no problem with them.
RiskyChris
Banned
ZephyrFate said:
Hm hating on a subset of a minority group. Surely this is the path to greater equality.
ZephyrFate
Banned
Because being obnoxious and flamboyant, i.e. painting the wrong mental image of the gay population as a whole, is also leading us to equality.
Maybe when the rest of the world doesn't think we're all superbly feminine and flamboyant, eccentric to the max, and etc. then we can start to gain some footholds.
Maybe when the rest of the world doesn't think we're all superbly feminine and flamboyant, eccentric to the max, and etc. then we can start to gain some footholds.
KibblesBits
Member
You two need to get it over with and have sex.:lol
ZephyrFate
Banned
I wish.
RiskyChris
Banned
ZephyrFate said:
Yes the problem is with other people, not with the minority! Yay!
ZephyrFate
Banned
Or maybe its because of said vocal minority that people really, really dislike our community.
RiskyChris
Banned
ZephyrFate said:
Why are you trying so hard to nail this point? =(
ZephyrFate
Banned
Because its true and will always be true until society's perspective is changed.
RiskyChris
Banned
It's like, I'm a vegetarian, right? I get this kind of shit all the time.
Someone offers me something to eat, and I'm like "no thanks, I'm a vegetarian/don't eat meat/etc." And they give me this fuckin' raised eyebrow like I just inconvenienced them.
Someone offers me something to eat, and I'm like "no thanks, I'm a vegetarian/don't eat meat/etc." And they give me this fuckin' raised eyebrow like I just inconvenienced them.
ZephyrFate
Banned
Exactly. Only, your choice of lifestyle is healthy and I commend you for it.
RiskyChris
Banned
ZephyrFate said:
As opposed to unhealthy and uncommendable? =(
ZephyrFate
Banned
I actually didn't mean to imply that. I actually think being a vegetarian is really healthy and I wish I could be one. =[Gaborn said:
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