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Why don't girls understand what "friends with benefits" means?
- Thread starter NLB2
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i can't believe some of the anti-oli comments. Because he sees women as more than just fuckdolls he must be on his first relationship? Or gay? Please. On the other hand, i disagree that anyone who gives the original poster advice is "sad". Sometimes you want someone, and sometimes you just want someone cool to hang out with and have sex with with no expectations. Human relationships and humans in general are more complex than being limited to either of those.
:skips replies:
I would like to think that for most people, sharing the "benefits" is reserved for somebody that actually means something to you, not just someone that gets you all hot and bothered. I don't know many people who just want to be used up and tossed aside like some bit of filth.
But then, some people do like that, which explains the popularity of places like adultfriendfinder. Seems cheap to me, but whatever floats your boat...
I would like to think that for most people, sharing the "benefits" is reserved for somebody that actually means something to you, not just someone that gets you all hot and bothered. I don't know many people who just want to be used up and tossed aside like some bit of filth.
But then, some people do like that, which explains the popularity of places like adultfriendfinder. Seems cheap to me, but whatever floats your boat...
Eric-GCA said:
No we're aliens brought here from planet Vector-5 to inhabit earth and rule the uncivilized life there.
Nature made us with the main purpose of breeding, love is something humans invented. Now if some conservative brains want to make sex look bad it's your problem, sex is great and can be done without getting married or being in love. And aoi tsuki why do you assume that everyone you wants just sex is not respecting women? No reason on your comment.
DCX
DCX
You know it's virtually impossible for a woman to have sex without getting attached. It would be just as impossible for one of us to remain calm and nonchalant playing Micheal Jordan one on one and not be in awe of him...it's human emotion, it's natural and to deny your own impulses as to what's normal is asinine.
I've had a few "friends" and it always seems to drift into that realm, you just need to accept this...or not. I'm in a position where I'm not really ready for a relationship ( or i think I'm not ) because i just came off a very troubling experience with an "ex" of mine. I'm a perfect candidate for a "friends with benefits " but what are the benefits really? Jealousy? Spite? A path that will lead to heartbreak for one or both parties? One night stands...easier to manage, harder to coordinate, to maintain this same attitude over the course of time is ridiculous. Either you make a commitment that is UNDERSTOOD, or don't make one at all...
Find a girlfriend, try your hand at one night stands if you must but aviod the black hole that is "friends with benefits" it will almost certainly lead to a bad situation.
DCX
I've had a few "friends" and it always seems to drift into that realm, you just need to accept this...or not. I'm in a position where I'm not really ready for a relationship ( or i think I'm not ) because i just came off a very troubling experience with an "ex" of mine. I'm a perfect candidate for a "friends with benefits " but what are the benefits really? Jealousy? Spite? A path that will lead to heartbreak for one or both parties? One night stands...easier to manage, harder to coordinate, to maintain this same attitude over the course of time is ridiculous. Either you make a commitment that is UNDERSTOOD, or don't make one at all...
Find a girlfriend, try your hand at one night stands if you must but aviod the black hole that is "friends with benefits" it will almost certainly lead to a bad situation.
DCX
Jesus Christ Almighty. It's just fucking sex. Sometimes, a man has needs. And it just so happens that at that same time, a woman has the same needs. And fate would have it that this man and woman happen to be very good friends, so they already have this established connection between them which makes it easier for them to get close to each other without awkwardness. They also see each other quite a few times. There's an undeniable physical attraction between the two. None of them currently have any other ties, but both of them have so many things on their mind already that they don't want any additional burden and complications on their shoulders, whether it's because of extremely difficult classes or simply because of stress. Finally, they find themselves in the same room, alone.
Why the hell would anyone deny themselves a simple act that will bring them satisfaction and pleasure?
Sometimes, it just fits. 2 days ago, it happened to me. It fit. After all the inital confusion/awkwardness/mental chaos, we set the ground rules (she even was the one to say the term "friends with benefits"), and although there is some confusion in what may happen in the future, sometimes, you just have to go for it, partly because it's a basic need that you satisfy and it will make your day brighter, and partly because there is no damn reason not to. You can't help it, because you'd feel stupid if you did. I know I would have. And right now, I prefer it so much better this way. It's amazing.
By the way, fuck friend != friend with benefits.
Fuck friend is a booty call, in that you're friends with that person for the sole purpose of sex. Maybe that's what Olimario is against. A friend with benefits is a friend first, that you sincerely care about, but who happens to be a bombshell, and a day came along where the two of you fit perfectly well together. I have absolutely nothing against people with fuck friends. But when it comes to a friend with benefits, you'd be a damn idiot going ahead with it if you're unwilling to have a REAL, "official" relationship between the two of you, if it ever was to happen. Don't go into it if the possibility of a successful relationship between the 2 of you is not there.
That means that even though we both want to avoid all of the mindfucks that come with a relationship, at least for the time being, we know that we would still be willing to give a relationship a try someday in the future, if it ever came to that point between us. Sure, this is all very complicated at first, but if the two people involved are rational, stable, and smart enough, it gets extremely clear. We both have enough self-control and respect for each other so that if one of us starts developing non-mutual feelings for the other, we won't throw a damn, pointless tantrum, and we'll do everything in our power to prevent it from blowing up in our face, even if that means that we're gonna have to talk about it. In the event that she finds another guy to have a relationship with and (let's assume) I have a problem with that because of unwanted feelings that would arise : if she's happy, I would be a fool to impose any pressure on her and become a burden, and I'd regret that much more than simply not being with her. That's how you make these things work. Stay rational.
Why the hell would anyone deny themselves a simple act that will bring them satisfaction and pleasure?
Sometimes, it just fits. 2 days ago, it happened to me. It fit. After all the inital confusion/awkwardness/mental chaos, we set the ground rules (she even was the one to say the term "friends with benefits"), and although there is some confusion in what may happen in the future, sometimes, you just have to go for it, partly because it's a basic need that you satisfy and it will make your day brighter, and partly because there is no damn reason not to. You can't help it, because you'd feel stupid if you did. I know I would have. And right now, I prefer it so much better this way. It's amazing.
By the way, fuck friend != friend with benefits.
Fuck friend is a booty call, in that you're friends with that person for the sole purpose of sex. Maybe that's what Olimario is against. A friend with benefits is a friend first, that you sincerely care about, but who happens to be a bombshell, and a day came along where the two of you fit perfectly well together. I have absolutely nothing against people with fuck friends. But when it comes to a friend with benefits, you'd be a damn idiot going ahead with it if you're unwilling to have a REAL, "official" relationship between the two of you, if it ever was to happen. Don't go into it if the possibility of a successful relationship between the 2 of you is not there.
That means that even though we both want to avoid all of the mindfucks that come with a relationship, at least for the time being, we know that we would still be willing to give a relationship a try someday in the future, if it ever came to that point between us. Sure, this is all very complicated at first, but if the two people involved are rational, stable, and smart enough, it gets extremely clear. We both have enough self-control and respect for each other so that if one of us starts developing non-mutual feelings for the other, we won't throw a damn, pointless tantrum, and we'll do everything in our power to prevent it from blowing up in our face, even if that means that we're gonna have to talk about it. In the event that she finds another guy to have a relationship with and (let's assume) I have a problem with that because of unwanted feelings that would arise : if she's happy, I would be a fool to impose any pressure on her and become a burden, and I'd regret that much more than simply not being with her. That's how you make these things work. Stay rational.
I agree with the "girls are not fuckdolls" mentality, and always have (I could not get into a sexual relationship without an emotional bond). But this is olimario, who, after getting skinny and getting a girlfriend is now King Shit of Fuck Mountain in his head... who also vehemently despises fat people and posts pictures of his cock all over the internet. I'm kinda curious as to what will happen when Bobby Sue gets a fat ass. Or, oh man, packs on the pounds when she has a kid. How strong is that love, oli?aoi tsuki said:
Ahahahaha, good work.Drinky Crow said:
Loki said:
hey some animals drive to the grocery store, some pick it from trees, and some find it on the ground.
Anyway, Aoi, i find it hard to respect a man who places convictions on people when he himself shows his wang off to a forum of strangers and then says "its for the ladies", as if women are only interested in his penis.
SlickWilly223
Time ta STEP IT UP
So let me get this straight... if I want to say, go out with a girl in the near future, it isn't very wise to make her my fuck buddy beforehand?
Drinky Crow
Banned
oli's just a wee bit infatuated with his new sense of social viability thanks to his weight loss and girlfriend. Well, perhaps "wee bit" is an understatement -- he's plying his newly-discovered ability to physically and socially judge people with such shotgun avidity that he's publically insulted his own brother, posted images of his member, and hypocritically ripped into an obese dude because he made fun of oli's convenient morality and silly judgmental attitude. Awesome example for a Christian!
He wants to to be a both a Kool Kid and Bible-thumping hypermoral prick at the same time: all the makings of a good arch-conservative Internet asshole! "Judge not, unless ye be on a message board under anonymous pretenses," I guess the scripture now reads. Once an insecure fat kid, always an insecure fat kid, it seems.
He wants to to be a both a Kool Kid and Bible-thumping hypermoral prick at the same time: all the makings of a good arch-conservative Internet asshole! "Judge not, unless ye be on a message board under anonymous pretenses," I guess the scripture now reads. Once an insecure fat kid, always an insecure fat kid, it seems.
Drinky Crow
Banned
He posted 'em on Opa Ages. Pretty skin crawling stuff -- not the pictures, but rather the insecure mentality that would cause a person to post those sort of pictures to that particular board.
Back off from them for a little while and give them space to let their feelings cool and hopefully resume where you stopped at a later date. You can't argue with them and change their feelings. That much is obvious. Maybe a little space and time away will do the trick, but it may make them feen for you even more.
I'm still confused about why he was allowed back since he consistently pulls this, as Lambtron put it, King Shit of Fuck Mountain holier-than-thou bullshit. There was reason to ban him, then he pulls absurd attention-whore stunts at OA, and someone decides to unban him? I simply fail to understand the logic.Sriram said:
Drinky Crow
Banned
OA is right about one thing: how fun is ANY forum without a certain asshole quotient?
Alex Anderson
Member
Dan said:
Can I get a fuckin A! Fuckin A!
I don't understand why voicing a dissenting opinion is ban worthy.
I just won't touch threads like this anymore and I'll stay away from pushing my morals on people. It's done nothing but make people upset and upset in general.
And Drinky Crow, you're absolutely right that I've been off base as a Christian. It took that from you and church this morning to make me see how terrible I've become online.
I just won't touch threads like this anymore and I'll stay away from pushing my morals on people. It's done nothing but make people upset and upset in general.
And Drinky Crow, you're absolutely right that I've been off base as a Christian. It took that from you and church this morning to make me see how terrible I've become online.
Your "opinions" consist of broad and intolerant generalizations about various groups of people, based on everything from physical appearance to belief systems to types of opinions. On top of that, you vehemently defend such "opinions" with the vigor of a zealot while pretending that you don't understand why people take offense and don't agree with you.olimario said:
Everything Drinky Crow said is true.
Mike Works
Member
Yes, you should lambast anyone who likes drinking beer too, because alcoholism DESTROYS LIVESEric-GCA said:
PER-AISE THE LORD-Aolimario said:
Mike Works
Member
What the hell? That wasn't animated in the Google Image Search window!
It doesn't suprise me.
I've been stuck in one of those ruts... The one where it's so easy to call other people on what you see as their problems but you don't notice you're doing exactly the same thing they are.
Today in church there was a guest pastor who was such a bigot and so judgemental and I couldn't help but criticize everything he said. He would go on about how homosexuals are terrible and I would turn to my girlfriend and explain how Christianity really should be about love and about showing that love without judging or condemning.
Then I come here and see I'm doing exactly what I know Christians shouldn't be doing. Exactly what this guest pastor I disagreed with so much was doing.
It really hit me like a wrecking ball today and I am sorry to everyone I've been a complete jackass to.
Lambtron- I have no room to talk to you about weight. I was overweight just recently and to make fun of you for something as insigificant as that was more shallow than anything I've baselessly condemned here. I'm sorry.
Cubsfan and NLB2- How you want to treat relationships is none of my business and I'm sorry I tried to make it that way. I was out of line.
I've been stuck in one of those ruts... The one where it's so easy to call other people on what you see as their problems but you don't notice you're doing exactly the same thing they are.
Today in church there was a guest pastor who was such a bigot and so judgemental and I couldn't help but criticize everything he said. He would go on about how homosexuals are terrible and I would turn to my girlfriend and explain how Christianity really should be about love and about showing that love without judging or condemning.
Then I come here and see I'm doing exactly what I know Christians shouldn't be doing. Exactly what this guest pastor I disagreed with so much was doing.
It really hit me like a wrecking ball today and I am sorry to everyone I've been a complete jackass to.
Lambtron- I have no room to talk to you about weight. I was overweight just recently and to make fun of you for something as insigificant as that was more shallow than anything I've baselessly condemned here. I'm sorry.
Cubsfan and NLB2- How you want to treat relationships is none of my business and I'm sorry I tried to make it that way. I was out of line.
DJ Demon J
Banned
Like sands in an hourglass....these are the Days of Our OT Lives...
AlphaSnake
...and that, kids, was the first time I sucked a dick for crack
Serafitia said:
"lollerz look at me im making nice with teh adminz yayz"
Could you be any more transparent?
But I'm not doing what you think I'm doing, Alpha. You're telling me you've never come to a terrible realization about anything in your life before?
I'm hoping how I am in the future will vindicate everything I've just posted so you all will know this isn't a one time 'i <3 mods' attitude, but rather an ongoing 'I need to stop being a hyprocritical bitch' lifestyle.
I'm hoping how I am in the future will vindicate everything I've just posted so you all will know this isn't a one time 'i <3 mods' attitude, but rather an ongoing 'I need to stop being a hyprocritical bitch' lifestyle.
There's apologizing for saving your ass and aplogizing because you know you've done wrong. This is the latter of the two. Like I said, I hope how I am in the future reflects this.
I've made a concious decision to have my board self become more like who I am in real life. It's disturbing to me that they've really become two different people. One a nice, caring individual who is accepting of all regardless of lifestyle and one who is a pompous jackass who treats everyone but those who share his opinions like shit.
I've made a concious decision to have my board self become more like who I am in real life. It's disturbing to me that they've really become two different people. One a nice, caring individual who is accepting of all regardless of lifestyle and one who is a pompous jackass who treats everyone but those who share his opinions like shit.
D
Deleted member 1235
Unconfirmed Member
If you really had remorse, you would confess and apologise to your neighbour.
WWJD?
WWJD?
Don't think I haven't thought about it already. Perhaps a letter to begin with. I know he has a very short fuse and I'd hate to see that first hand. However I decide to do it, it won't be easy.
My absense from church this last year has really fueled my behavior here and I think my recent discovery of a new church and my recent turn back to God has led me to making this lifestyle change.
My absense from church this last year has really fueled my behavior here and I think my recent discovery of a new church and my recent turn back to God has led me to making this lifestyle change.
Olimario said:
Pardon the suspicion, or don't, but isn't that an all too convenient of an explanation? It all works out for you, if taken at face value. Apologizing for all the crap you write while simultaneously trying to convince people that you're nothing like this in real life? Meanwhile, it still reeks of your insistence that you're this perfect person, except now you claim that person is completely, mysteriously, and unintentionally, disappearing in the transition from your mind to your keyboard.
Dan said:
It is, but it's something that hit today and something I wouldn't normally apologize for. I didn't apologize to Lambtron before when I was dick to him because I had no remorse for what I had done.
And there's something about being semi-anonymous on a message board that takes away the filter between your brain and the keyboard. I'm sure a lot of people have shown a dark, disgusting side of themselves when given anonymity.
And I'm by no means perfect. Who is? I have rude thoughts about people time to time, but my filter catches them before they leave my mind. Ban me, that's fine. I've been a dick in this thread too. Hopefully I can prove this isn't a one time thing.
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