EatinOlives
Member
I think first we should stop with the fucking appalling victim blaming and double standards before bitching about "bandwagoning", don't you think?
GAF, did I get raped?
- Thread starter Zibrahim
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I think first we should stop with the fucking appalling victim blaming and double standards before bitching about "bandwagoning", don't you think?
Yeah, that's why I'm gonna felt cautious for reporting thing like this, authority not taking you seriously gonna just hurt you more, or shit who knows what you'll got if you have bad luck, its can backfire badly.
I don't think assuming that one parties recollection of events is completely accurate is the prudent way of determining whether or not a felony has been committed. If the OP feels he was taken advantage of, the he should talk to a professional (counselor, lawyer, or law enforcement), not some random strangers on the internet. Something about trial by message board just rubs me wrong.
We're not having a trial. We're comforting the OP and supporting him. If that's a problem for you, I'd ask you to stop posting.
wsoxfan1214
Banned
He's saying that men don't get taken as seriously as women when they say they've been raped. Regardless of whether this is true or not, he certainly seems to have other reasons for beating the topic dead.
It's a tough one, but the more people report rape, the more common it is assumed to be and thus more people will be taken seriously.
Presently, rape amongst all groups is under reported which feeds into the stigma about it.
If the OP feels justified in reporting it, they should do so. They might get a good response or they might get a shit response. But maybe ten years from now an equivalent case might get the treatment it deserves.
Complacency or resignation about the police and legal systems will only maintain the status quo.
All rapes should be taken seriously.
The circumstantial evidence all points to Besada banning this poster, but I don't think it'd hold up in court.
User 100115
Banned
Correcting people on the very wrong assumption that men can't be raped isn't helping anything or anyone? The way society treats rape victims and as evidenced by this thread, male rape victims in particular is disgusting, and should in fact be pointed out and corrected as often as possible. How else is anyone going to learn anything?
Circle Jerk
Member
I was more focused on woman can have sex than cry rape part, but all it is pretty shitty considering the thread he's posting in.
It's crushing my soul because this is how all the rape victims I know felt. They were the exact same way. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
As others have mentioned, please, please, please seek counselling. I wish you the best.
Epsilon-delta
Banned
Sounds like rape to me. Similar situation happened to me when I was in the military. I reported the incident to my chain of command and she just laughed it off.
You can become sexually excited, orgasm, and feel pleasure during a rape. For both genders.
Your brain cannot prevent this even if you're not wanting it to happen.
This is in fact one of the things you have to get through as a rape victim. Being violated but having pleasure during the event is a total mind mixer.
If you don't consent then it's rape. Full fucking stop. There is no qualifiers, "but you", or re-considerations.
Fuck you.
t-storm
Member
Correcting other people is fine but some of the reactions to his ignorance are far more disturbing than anything else I've read. No need for the "Are you fucking serious?" type of posts repeated ad nauseum. It's not supporting the OP and not helping those displaying ignorance whatsoever.
kame-sennin
Member
You were raped and I'm very sorry. It's also horrible that some people in this thread are using words and phrases like "probably" and "sounds like". This is a very clear case.
This woman is a monster.
1) Get tested.
2) Go to the police.
3) Find a therapist to help you get through all this.
If she had cut your throat while you were drunk, would you say the same thing? You have a right to get as drunk as you want. And you have a right to not be raped when you are drunk. People don't get to harm other people just because they are inebriated. It's your body; you have the right to put as much alcohol in it as you want, and you have the right to decide who touches your body and when.
Edit: I want to add that, statistically speaking, the police are likely to make this an even more upsetting process (I had a family member experience this). You should try and prepare yourself for that as best you can going in. Once again, I'm so sorry. Best of luck.
This woman is a monster.
1) Get tested.
2) Go to the police.
3) Find a therapist to help you get through all this.
If she had cut your throat while you were drunk, would you say the same thing? You have a right to get as drunk as you want. And you have a right to not be raped when you are drunk. People don't get to harm other people just because they are inebriated. It's your body; you have the right to put as much alcohol in it as you want, and you have the right to decide who touches your body and when.
Edit: I want to add that, statistically speaking, the police are likely to make this an even more upsetting process (I had a family member experience this). You should try and prepare yourself for that as best you can going in. Once again, I'm so sorry. Best of luck.
XT Vengeance
Member
Yes.
Baron Aloha
A Shining Example
So what happens if, hypothetically, the girl gets pregnant? Does he owe child support?
OP, I would report it to the authorities just in case so there is a record of it for this very reason.
OP, I would report it to the authorities just in case so there is a record of it for this very reason.
terrisus
Member
Not to mention, you know, if the other person decides to claim later that she was the one who was raped.
If you didn't say anything until after she did, unfortunately, it's going to make things even worse.
Photolysis
Banned
There was the case where a woman raped an underage child, and sued him successfully for child support.
ReignofSparrows
Member
I know the worst offenders have been banned, but it would be great if supposedly logical and skeptical people would stop acting like being stubbornly noncommittal is somehow the proper way to demonstrate exactly how logical and skeptical you are. Part of being logical is accepting the evidence before you. Questioning everything to look skeptical all the time just makes you look like an irrational jerk. And as others have pointed out, we aren't in a court of law, so we can assume the recollection of the OP for the sake of compassion without collapsing the US' already shitty justice system.
Night_Knight
Unconfirmed Member
Fuck double standards, if you said no then no means no. Bro you were raped.
timetokill
Banned
holy shit that's insane
ConstructMe
Banned
Homest question to police on here, do they take it as seriously as other cases?
User 100115
Banned
Most police I assume will say yes, they take it seriously.
Most victims will tell you otherwise.
ConstructMe
Banned
Its crazy how society and the media make it that that were conditioned to think "normal" rape is like some seedy dude on a defenseless girl, ive seldom heard the other side of the rape "story"
I have a different perspective now
I have a different perspective now
... Still coming to terms with it before considering legal action? ... Oh my.. You need counselling, my friend. Please go and seek professional help and I really would consider talking to that girl if you really don't want to go to someone legally. I think it will help you and at the same time make her realise the seriousness of her actions. I think she will listen to you as you said she already apologised (I hope she was sincere with that apology).
Good luck. *sigh....
Good luck. *sigh....
oreomunsta
Banned
I'm sorry to hear this happened to you OP. It does sound like rape. My condolences =[
Don't fall into the hole that others that I know that have had this happen to them have fallen into. Seek help as soon as possible. A professional, such as a counselor, would be the best person to go to. Don't keep this to yourself, try to deal with this completely alone, or believe that this was your fault.
Yeah, you may have made a mistake by getting into that situation. However, there was a much bigger offense that has occurred and needs to be dealt with; whether you choose to take legal action or not is your choice. Just send her the clear message that what she did was NOT ok. She may do it to other guys after you.
Don't fall into the hole that others that I know that have had this happen to them have fallen into. Seek help as soon as possible. A professional, such as a counselor, would be the best person to go to. Don't keep this to yourself, try to deal with this completely alone, or believe that this was your fault.
Yeah, you may have made a mistake by getting into that situation. However, there was a much bigger offense that has occurred and needs to be dealt with; whether you choose to take legal action or not is your choice. Just send her the clear message that what she did was NOT ok. She may do it to other guys after you.
ConstructMe
Banned
Why didnt you just push her away, your probly bigger.
Is this a joke? Either way this is fucking terrible. You should be ashamed.
User 100115
Banned
Really?
Dude was black out drunk for one. He kept passing out, yeah, he was totally capable of fighting her off.
Also, you know when women get raped one of the things people say is 'you didn't fight hard enough?'
ConstructMe
Banned
All ears whats the issue, im just wondering. Its cool if he doesnt answer.
BassForever
Member
You were raped, please call the police and report her, along with getting tested at a doctor and setting up therapy. You need to do all 3 of these things for multiple reasons people have mentioned in the posts above.
Even if you think you love this girl what she did to you is not the kind of person you want to spend the rest of your life with or even be in a relationship with. If any of your friends laugh at you or say stupid things like some of the banned users in this thread have said they aren't really your friends.
This is going to be a very difficult couple of weeks/months for you, the first step you need to do is admit to yourself you were raped and get on the path to recovery. If you aren't comfortable calling the police/a doctor/a therapist on your own go/call with a parent or close friend.
Feel free to post/rage/cry to us, you have a ton of people here supporting you!
Even if you think you love this girl what she did to you is not the kind of person you want to spend the rest of your life with or even be in a relationship with. If any of your friends laugh at you or say stupid things like some of the banned users in this thread have said they aren't really your friends.
This is going to be a very difficult couple of weeks/months for you, the first step you need to do is admit to yourself you were raped and get on the path to recovery. If you aren't comfortable calling the police/a doctor/a therapist on your own go/call with a parent or close friend.
Feel free to post/rage/cry to us, you have a ton of people here supporting you!
thesaucetastic
Unconfirmed Member
I'm really sorry to hear this happened to you, OP. We're here to help if you need to vent some more.
y? gaf answered my question in like 3 seconds
It's terrible. Some of the posters that got banned in this thread, are the kind of attitudes that someone might face when trying to report a rape. And to be clear, women also face stigmas and are judged for reporting rape (ie. you asked for it, you shouldn't have been in a situation where you could get raped, you must have done something to cause it).
But I do think as a male, there is another stigma on top of it (ie. men can't get raped, you are stronger than her, so how could she rape you. Men love sex, so how can it be rape). Bleh. It's all ignorance.
Again for me, I don't think gender should be a factor -- period. Sex is an act between two consenting individuals. A rapist, is someone that chooses to have sex with someone without their consent, or against their will. Gender is completely irrelevant. I just don't get how, people can't have compassion for the victims.
BeekleMatter
Member
This happened to a friend of mine. Same exact thing, the blackout/in and out of remembering anything/passing out and all. He claims that he had no intention of it and that he was raped. (or forced into it)
CrocMother
Banned
The topic of gender in rape situations is something that is worth (and in need of) discussion, just not in this thread.
This thread is about a member of the community who needs compassion, and if he wants it, assistance.
That's how I feel about it, anyway.
This thread is about a member of the community who needs compassion, and if he wants it, assistance.
That's how I feel about it, anyway.
Some of those bans are really questionable though... I guess it depends on how long there are banned for. Anyhow, I can't really say anything and I haven't been a Moderator of this forum and an Editor for Gaming Age since 2002, and everyone I knew that managed this forum since then are just either standard members like me, readers or gone.
Wow at some of the ridiculous replies in here. Mods have done a great job so far.
OP, if you're still here: I haven't read through the entirety of this thread, but do consider talking about this to a therapist or some other sort of professional who knows how to deal with these things, even if you feel it hasn't or shouldn't have "affected" you "that much" (it seems like it has, hence this thread though). Don't assume you have to handle this alone, or that it's something that you're supposed to brush aside or resign yourself to - no one deserves to be raped and what happened was in no way your fault - don't deny yourself the help you need for any reason.
OP, if you're still here: I haven't read through the entirety of this thread, but do consider talking about this to a therapist or some other sort of professional who knows how to deal with these things, even if you feel it hasn't or shouldn't have "affected" you "that much" (it seems like it has, hence this thread though). Don't assume you have to handle this alone, or that it's something that you're supposed to brush aside or resign yourself to - no one deserves to be raped and what happened was in no way your fault - don't deny yourself the help you need for any reason.
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