"Just the facts."
"So I'm with my cousin Diego at a coffee shop, and I'm like "I'm more of a tea person, you know? I'm not really into the drips, the soy lattes, the double shots. Just gimme some of that herbal stuff, you know, chamomile with a hint of ginger and rooibos, steeped for 9 minutes to let the flavour set in..."
"Luis."
"So my man Diego says, "the other day, you know, I was at this bar, watching the 49ers and I'm like "don't go for it on 4th and 1, their rush defence is crazy" and the guy next to me, he's wearing a hat and trench coat, see, drinkin' something fruity, and I'm like "what up with that outfit and that drink" and the guy goes "watch the outside receiver, he's gonna cut wide and the QB's gonna fake the handoff and toss it to him" and then you know what happens next?"
*sigh* "What, Luis."
"The QB fakes the handoff and tosses it to the outside receiver. It's crazy man! And then Diego's like "whoa man how'd you know that?" and the mystery man's like "lucky I guess" and Diego's like "what else you know man?" and the guy goes "I know lots of things, like how some stones have super cool powers, and if one guy got all those stones together into some sort of glove for his hand, we're all doomed." And then Diego's like "well we better make sure that guy doesn't get those stones. Where can you find those stones anyway" and he goes "well...""
*title card*