Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
- Thread starter Septimius
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Roberto Larcos
Member
That it's not a date.
luckyboyceo
Member
That's far from a date, dude.
luckyboyceo
Member
Then pick Sunday? Unless you have friends that are also looking to meet women, I don't see the reason for doing Saturday.
She had dropped far too many hints for comfort though. There's an app in that is pretty popular in my town that is called Jodel, where you can write anonymous messages on a big message board, which everyone within a 10km radius can see. A week ago she wrote "I'm falling in love with this amazing dude, and I hate that I'm leaving for <the country she's going to> in 27 <or something, don't remember> days. Why did I have to meet him now?". I knew it was her because I knew the exact date. She probably thought I couldn't see it since I haven't seen some other messages she has written (she was very surprised when I brought it up a few days ago), she probably lives on the very edge of the radius from my house. I doubt anything has changed since then, but then again I can't know.
In any case, I'm forgetting her for now. As I said, on to the next.
Thanks guys. Woke up this morning and I feel tons better. Feel almost nothing. Sometimes you just need some sleep apparently.
I've been in that situation before, it's usually a bad a idea to meet with a girl the first time when she's with her friends. She'll probably say hi to you and then you'll be ignored from then on and you'll feel shitty about it. Def get 1 on 1 time.
MisterRoboto
Member
I'm going to assume you're busy Sunday or that would be the choice. Just tell her to enjoy the night out with her friends and you'll meet up another time.
Sounds like she was just looking for some attention on that message board.
Feelings can easily change in a week this early in the relationship. Just with how easy you're working on forgetting her, she could have easily decided that she wasn't falling in love after all.
stn
Member
Just a stab in the dark, but maybe you telling her about the message was what scared her off? Can be for any of these reasons:
1. You knew that she liked you, hence she felt like she lost "power"
2. She felt an invasion of privacy since you weren't supposed to know about the post
3. She suddenly felt you were too intense/involved since you actually found the post
The thing is, most of the time falling in "love" basically signals a commitment. The end of fun, the time of settling down. Some people end up realizing its not what they actually want. People easily confuse their own emotions, they can think they're in love when they aren't even close to it.
Gray Matter
Member
Everything sucks!
direct_quote
Member
Fixed that for you. Online dating feels like a grind sometimes...
luckyboyceo
Member
Online dating aside, where are those of you who are out of school meeting women? Bars? Coffee shops? Work?
I meet most women at bars nowadays, but I hate it. The nature of meeting women at bars only plays into casual hookups (which I'm pretty much over) and not relationships/dates. Any suggestions for elsewhere?
I meet most women at bars nowadays, but I hate it. The nature of meeting women at bars only plays into casual hookups (which I'm pretty much over) and not relationships/dates. Any suggestions for elsewhere?
If anything, I feel she is the one who has been intense, at least in the beginning. She kept telling me how she missed me when we were apart for even a day, how good looking I was, how great I was. Then, when she suddenly stopped saying those things I suppose I became more intense, which might have pushed her away somehow. Your last paragraph is probably close to the truth.
PflargBlarg
Member
Don't know if I can suggest this for everyone but I met my wife through our city's subreddit meetup group.
It's also how I know a good number of my friends these days.
How would ya approach a girl in class or a party? I got it down for the most part but wouldn't hurt to learn some new ways, variety is the spice of life yo
Sometimes yeah, but being single is what you make of it, at least to me it is.
Which subreddit was that?
Meeting with her friends will possibly be really awkward. A lot of times, they will pass judgment on you right away, and that early it can duck you over. Don't underestimate the 'I don't want to let my friend bang some random dude' shit that girls do.
If she is older, its not as big of a deal, but girls under roughly 30 will take a lot of cues from their friends.
ZackieChan
Member
I've spent a lot of time over the past few years in Bangkok, and girls there LOVE to show up with a friend on the first date. Sometimes the friend pays, so that's cool. But it is super annoying.
I need advice GAF. I was at this party at my friend's house and I started to chat up this fine looking lady who was with a friend of hers. I was quite drunk and high so I don't remember the details, but for some reason she and her friend said I was a 7/10, but then i asked them to rate an acquaintance of mine which they also knew from before (he was dating one of their friends), and they said he was a 6/10. I'm pretty sure this other dude is quite the hottie, so I didn't know what whas up with that, but whatever.
We continue chating for a bit, until a female friend of mine comes to where we were, and I throw some random compliments her way about how nice she looks. Then this other blonde broad who is friends with my mates girlfriend comes over and we chat for a bit, she's quite good looking but she's one of these women who likes to act really naive on purpose, which for me is a turnoff personally.
So I go back to chatting up the original hottie, and things escalated to the point we were hugging and really close to each other, but she kept making this ofuscated face. I ask her what's up, and she tells me she didn't like that I was chatting up three girls at the same time, so I ask my friend to come over so she can confirm we are just friends (I know how dumb this sounds, but I was pretty drunk), but she's still mad that I was chatting up this blonde broad.
It was pretty late, so their friends are leaving the party and she has to go with them. I asked them to hitch me a ride since I knew all the guys who were with her and they're pretty swell dudes. I honestly wanted to keep partying at my friend's house, but I really wanted to get with this girl. She sits on my lap once we get to the car and we keep hugging, but she's still mad that I chatted up this other broad, I kiss her on the cheek a few times while trying to convince her to go to my place, but in the end she wouldn't give in and I get out of the car near my place.
I asked one of my friends to get her number for me (since he's super close with all the guys who were with her, and I was too drunk to even ask for it), but I'm not sure if I want to go out with this girl, since it seems really weird to me that someone would throw a jealousy tantrum to a guy she just met, so im worried she's just a tease.
I also haven't dated anyone in 5 years. I was in a 4 year long relationship that ended in very favourable terms, so we continue to see each other casually to this day, and that has stopped me from wanting to get to know anyone else. I also want to get back in the game. So what say you GAF, is this girl just a tease? Or should i make an effort to hang out with her and see what happens?
We continue chating for a bit, until a female friend of mine comes to where we were, and I throw some random compliments her way about how nice she looks. Then this other blonde broad who is friends with my mates girlfriend comes over and we chat for a bit, she's quite good looking but she's one of these women who likes to act really naive on purpose, which for me is a turnoff personally.
So I go back to chatting up the original hottie, and things escalated to the point we were hugging and really close to each other, but she kept making this ofuscated face. I ask her what's up, and she tells me she didn't like that I was chatting up three girls at the same time, so I ask my friend to come over so she can confirm we are just friends (I know how dumb this sounds, but I was pretty drunk), but she's still mad that I was chatting up this blonde broad.
It was pretty late, so their friends are leaving the party and she has to go with them. I asked them to hitch me a ride since I knew all the guys who were with her and they're pretty swell dudes. I honestly wanted to keep partying at my friend's house, but I really wanted to get with this girl. She sits on my lap once we get to the car and we keep hugging, but she's still mad that I chatted up this other broad, I kiss her on the cheek a few times while trying to convince her to go to my place, but in the end she wouldn't give in and I get out of the car near my place.
I asked one of my friends to get her number for me (since he's super close with all the guys who were with her, and I was too drunk to even ask for it), but I'm not sure if I want to go out with this girl, since it seems really weird to me that someone would throw a jealousy tantrum to a guy she just met, so im worried she's just a tease.
I also haven't dated anyone in 5 years. I was in a 4 year long relationship that ended in very favourable terms, so we continue to see each other casually to this day, and that has stopped me from wanting to get to know anyone else. I also want to get back in the game. So what say you GAF, is this girl just a tease? Or should i make an effort to hang out with her and see what happens?
that's one-itis and it's unhealthy. hang out with this chick, she's attracted to you. without expectations, see where things go.
Well, look at it from her point of view--she just met you, and you're walking around looking like you're trying to get into three ladies' pants in one night. She didn't know you were friends with one of the girls (and there are people that truly believe that guys and girls can't "just be friends", stupid I know), and even if that's the case, there was still a second woman you were trying to chat up. To her, it looks like you tried with this other woman, failed, and went back to her, essentially making her the 'second place prize'. I had that happen to me one time, it made me feel like shit and kinda ruined my night that time. She can't know your thought process, or what you talked to the other girls about, so it can be understandable she would be mad/jealous. Also remember that all of y'all were drunk/high, and logic sort of gets thrown out the window in those situations.
But regardless of that, I agree with Max. Just hang out with her in a normal state of mind and see if you actually like her. If not, or she doesn't wanna meet up, then just keep on trucking.
luckyboyceo
Member
She sounds possessive as hell.
If she can't handle you talking to some random girl when you're not in a relationship (let alone even acquaintances, really), how do you think she's going to handle similar situations if/when you are? Sounds like a pretty obvious red flag to me.
Thanks for the recommendations, guys.
family_guy
Member
Then stop it. If you're not comfortable in a setting then it will show anyway. Do things you enjoy. Meetup.com has a bunch of group activities you can do, just don't go with the intention to meet women because that's hit or miss. Sometimes I'll grab a laptop, go to Barnes and Nobles and chill out for an hour. I like reading so it doesn't look l'm there just to meet women. Of course a negative is that I come across too many young women who can't afford internet and they are just there to bum off B&N's wifi.
Thank you GAF! As one of you guys commented, yeah I have serious one-itis with my ex, since we broke up because we were two different types of people and not because of anything specific, as we always made a point of being super respectful while addressing our problems and grievances. She's super goal oriented and focused and a bit of a perfectionist, while I'm an anxious slacker who's just trying to put himself together and have a well-rounded life. At this point it's pretty much set in stone that we won't get back together.
I've only kissed one girl besides her since we broke up about 10 months ago (casual club hookup), and haven't gone out, or pursued any other girl since then. I was honestly waiting for her to start going out with someone else before I tryed to do the same, since I'm currently studying to pass the equivalent of the bar (law exam) in my country, and don't have much time or energy to dedicate to meeting new people.
I'm starting to figure out that this is not healthy at all, since I rarely get to have sexual intimacy with my ex anymore, even if we do hang out often. I like to just hang out with her and chat, since I consider her a close friend and we have good convos, but I don't think I can postpone my sexuality anymore (I also think im more attracted to her than she is to me, since she's rarely in the mood anymore). So yeah, I'll just see if this new broad wants to hang out and then I'll make my next post from the bathroom asking for advice.
I've only kissed one girl besides her since we broke up about 10 months ago (casual club hookup), and haven't gone out, or pursued any other girl since then. I was honestly waiting for her to start going out with someone else before I tryed to do the same, since I'm currently studying to pass the equivalent of the bar (law exam) in my country, and don't have much time or energy to dedicate to meeting new people.
I'm starting to figure out that this is not healthy at all, since I rarely get to have sexual intimacy with my ex anymore, even if we do hang out often. I like to just hang out with her and chat, since I consider her a close friend and we have good convos, but I don't think I can postpone my sexuality anymore (I also think im more attracted to her than she is to me, since she's rarely in the mood anymore). So yeah, I'll just see if this new broad wants to hang out and then I'll make my next post from the bathroom asking for advice.
Etrian Oddity
Member
Well, got stood up on a first date. This is shortly after another first date totally ghosted.
Being considered ugly and unappealing to the opposite sex feels pretty bad man.
Being considered ugly and unappealing to the opposite sex feels pretty bad man.
Roberto Larcos
Member
Gotta keep on keeping on. People who don't show up or ghost are the ones with the real problems. It's a numbers game.
You'll get there.
Gray Matter
Member
Sorry to hear that. People who do that are terrible, but in the long run, you end up with the last laugh.
stn
Member
The girl in question was just jealous that you were flirting with all of them. She doesn't like you, she was just more enthusiastic when she thought that you only liked her. What you should have done was call her out for being jealous, but in a very playful and flirty manner.
Royal_Phalanx
Member
DatingAge, as an update to my last post I guess I don't get to go back to university for a retake year, but will instead be allowed to graduate on the basis of past performance (I live in the UK, degrees last 3 years), so it has dawned on me that all my social opportunites have evaporated. I've done well enough to do a Masters' degree, so this is an option I'm thinking of taking up next year after I've had some time to think.
Is all hope of a normal social/dating life gone now that I'm a graduate with no close friends (I have only 3 people to talk to right now, and they don't have much time anymore due to work) and still a 23 year old virgin to boot? I can't muster up much hope to be honest. I'm trying to take up opportunities to volunteer for charities such as being a First Aider, sending off an application to join a political party as well as looking for new hobbies like salsa, and looking to go to meetups posted on my city's subreddit, so I am making some tentative attempts at self improvement right now. Don't have any good pictures to use for online dating like on OkCupid or Tinder either, so that will have to wait until I've built up a social circle and do fun things.
I'm pretty worried right now about how easy is it to meet women around my age. I feel like the only good places to go meet them is in bars/clubs and on online dating. I like going to bars/clubs so that's not a problem, but I'm not a particularly good looking guy so I feel I will get no interest from women if I tried this.
Also, I'm messaging a girl I chatted to for a bit in university who lives in the same city I do on Facebook, so I can ask her for her number and get to know her better. Although another girl who I met this year that I also tried to message read my message and didn't reply, so I'm really pissed off at the lack of courtesy she showed in ignoring a "hey, how are you" message.
Is all hope of a normal social/dating life gone now that I'm a graduate with no close friends (I have only 3 people to talk to right now, and they don't have much time anymore due to work) and still a 23 year old virgin to boot? I can't muster up much hope to be honest. I'm trying to take up opportunities to volunteer for charities such as being a First Aider, sending off an application to join a political party as well as looking for new hobbies like salsa, and looking to go to meetups posted on my city's subreddit, so I am making some tentative attempts at self improvement right now. Don't have any good pictures to use for online dating like on OkCupid or Tinder either, so that will have to wait until I've built up a social circle and do fun things.
I'm pretty worried right now about how easy is it to meet women around my age. I feel like the only good places to go meet them is in bars/clubs and on online dating. I like going to bars/clubs so that's not a problem, but I'm not a particularly good looking guy so I feel I will get no interest from women if I tried this.
Also, I'm messaging a girl I chatted to for a bit in university who lives in the same city I do on Facebook, so I can ask her for her number and get to know her better. Although another girl who I met this year that I also tried to message read my message and didn't reply, so I'm really pissed off at the lack of courtesy she showed in ignoring a "hey, how are you" message.
HP_Wuvcraft
Banned
I'd like a date.
Too bad I'm single.
Too bad I'm single.
GutsOfThor
Member
Hurts at first but you'll get used to it. Trust me.
Nastrodamous
Member
It's k bro been stood or gotten ghosted 4 times in three weeks just keep on self improvement.
Happened to me too, both ghosted and stood up. You just gotta keep going, the people that do that stuff aren't worth having anyway. Consider it a bullet you dodged.
J
Jpop
Unconfirmed Member
Hmm... I hooked up with an girl I sorta used to see. Probably isn't gonna end well. The curse of being horny, bad decision making 101.
luckyboyceo
Member
Anyway you can change that? Wardrobe? Haircut? Fitness? Anything you can do to make you feel better about yourself is going to translate to other avenues in your life, including women.
Besides, very few people in this world are genuinely "ugly," I'd say.
I just liked one of my exes instagram photos. I know that feel.
ZackieChan
Member
I'm similarly skeptical. There are a few dudes in the photo threads that think they're ugly, but they just take awful photos. I'm sure there are actual ugly and repulsive people out there, but they are not too common.
There's always the hail Mary - leave the country and go abroad. You gain a few points just from being a foreigner. It's worked wonders for me.
If you get dates but they don't show up, that has to do with your attitude and NOTHING to do with your looks.
If it was your looks you wouldn't even get numbers. OR you would get fake numbers.
Do you message girls before the date? because if you do, you shouldn't. Also, don't set dates too far in advance.
Then go and get a date?
As people said in the mental health thread, Being a virgin really doesn't mean anything. Also, you're taking plenty of the proper steps to expand your social circle (that is, by going out and doing things) so I wouldn't be too worried about meeting new people.
On the dating front, I'd say just take it so and don't rush it. Online dating is certainly the easiest way to meet new women, but at the moment it sounds as though you might want to focus more on your volunteer work/hobbies/meetups first. Who knows, maybe you'll meet someone there?
It just seems a bit hectic for you right now, and dating requires some time commitments. Not trying to sound offensive to you (because I think you're doing great thus far).
I mean, while it's important not to text TOO much before meeting up, you shouldn't ignore the other person either if they text you...
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
So um I met a girl today at the community college I go to, one of the tutor introduced me to her, and like I spoke to her a little bit, exchange names and numbers and stuff.
Huh. That was easy.
Huh. That was easy.
Let us know how the coffee date goes fam
luckyboyceo
Member
Agreed. There's a huge difference between being legitimately ugly and just not knowing what works for you, appearance-wise.
I can't tell you how many friends (myself included), who at one point in their life would've thought of themselves as "ugly," only to figure out how to make the most of what they've been given, and are now 100% confident (and successful) in who they are.
Royal_Phalanx
Member
Messaged girl on Facebook. She sounded enthusiastic but when I asked for her number she read the message and didn't reply. Should I eventually message her again after like a day or so or should I just give up right now?
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