Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
How much did you spend exactly? And no, first couple of dates should always be inexpensive stuff.
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Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
- Thread starter Septimius
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I keep it low key the first three or so dates. And I don't go anything above $40 (for the both of us) on those dates. The reason being what just happened to you. If at some point it doesn't click, for one reason or another, then the cost was minimal.
Keep the dates to coffee, walks in the park, museums, (happy hour) drinks, cheap comedy shows, etc. Probably easier for me to be saying it since I live in NYC, but, if you look around your town/city, you should be able to come up with cheap dates.
Keep the dates to coffee, walks in the park, museums, (happy hour) drinks, cheap comedy shows, etc. Probably easier for me to be saying it since I live in NYC, but, if you look around your town/city, you should be able to come up with cheap dates.
As I said on the last page, try to keep your dates as close to zero dollars as possible. Do something fun the first few times, that doesn't cost money. If she still is interested after that, and you still are as well, then you can spring for a nice dinner or night at the theater or whatever. Don't spend money on someone who ends up being like this girl, she's not worth it, it takes a few dates to figure that out sometimes.
stn
Member
Ok, some stuff you should consider changing for next time.
1. Keep first few dates cheap.
2. Don't know why you took her home after making out in the car, she probably just wanted to have a one-night stand and not actually date.
3. When a person flakes on you ONCE for whatever reason, put the onus on them to make it up. And don't invest ANYTHING in them until they've shown that the flake was legitimate.
1. This seems to be the majority opinion so far, and I'll definitely be doing this going forward.
2. I was dropping her back at her car, not home. Regardless, I wasn't getting the one-night stand vibe from her, and that's not what I'm going for right now. I'm sort of bored with casual sex right now.
3. Definitely something I've done in the past and will be doing going forward. Problem with this time was, I prematurely boxed myself into a corner by committing to play tickets too early. Stupid idea, but I got blinded by the fact that it seemed like we really hit it off.
$70 overall ($35/ticket), which isn't necessarily much money to me, but it's more the principle of being taken advantage of by an inconsiderate and flakey person.
Omega Kirby
Member
Should I really ask her that?
electricshake
Member
Hmm I wouldn't but if she does it again ask there and then why. Don't bring it up days later.
Got a date today, it's been a while!
So, there's this super popular girl from my college class. We've met some months ago just casually, then she started texting me in October and i just tried to ask her out because hell why not. We got that organized but it blew because of her job, then tried to sort something another couple of times but one of us was always busy/something occurred. Plus our conversations all started from me. So i got it all that as a "ok maybe she wasn't that into me". Well the other day a common friend said she talked to her and she actually fancies me, and was a bit let down we didn't get to go out and felt like i ignored hell (which isn't true at all but hey whatever keep this boat afloat).
So i went on and asked her out once again, and it's today, yay!
Thing is as i said she's quite popular, hot and just really really cool, so i feel a bit overwhelmed and very anxious, i mean i don't think i can handle her game...
So, there's this super popular girl from my college class. We've met some months ago just casually, then she started texting me in October and i just tried to ask her out because hell why not. We got that organized but it blew because of her job, then tried to sort something another couple of times but one of us was always busy/something occurred. Plus our conversations all started from me. So i got it all that as a "ok maybe she wasn't that into me". Well the other day a common friend said she talked to her and she actually fancies me, and was a bit let down we didn't get to go out and felt like i ignored hell (which isn't true at all but hey whatever keep this boat afloat).
So i went on and asked her out once again, and it's today, yay!
Thing is as i said she's quite popular, hot and just really really cool, so i feel a bit overwhelmed and very anxious, i mean i don't think i can handle her game...
Chill. Don't treat her different from anyone else. Don't make her think you feel you aren't worthy.
Perhaps initially you'll be nervous but after a minute or two it'll be normal. Everything will be fine. Enjoy yourself. Don't spend 70 bucks on theater tickets. Good luck.
Ahah don't worry we're going to a tea house just to drink something, shouldn't be too expensive (gosh i hope)!
Yeah i guess i should have a bit more confidence, after all it looks like she likes me.
ZackieChan
Member
We're in Italy, i couldn't even if i wanted to.
Don't be too confrontational about it. Maybe lighten it up with a joke or something. "I know I look like the guy from Twilight, but I'm not actually a vampire". Otherwise she'll just go on the defensive.
Who cares if she's popular. Maybe all those people like her for superficial reasons and she's sick of tools and douchebags, and she enjoyed conversations with you. Don't sabotage yourself with that silly "she-she-she's out of my lea-league" mindset. She liked you so far for being you, so you keep being you. You asked her out and she said yes - that's something to be confident about. Remember, you are PHILIPPO. Not just some little all-lower-case philippo scrub.
I have a question, and i hope someone can help me with it.
A while ago i started using Tinder and i get a few matches each day. Then i stopped using the app for like 2/3 weeks. Recently i tried starting using it again but now i hardly get any matches. Im really confused how the app works under the hood, because maybe i am doing something wrong. For example: if i pick a certain age range, do i get to see girls who set my age range as well? same goes for distance? I tried reinstalling the app and logging in and out.
Thanks in advance.
A while ago i started using Tinder and i get a few matches each day. Then i stopped using the app for like 2/3 weeks. Recently i tried starting using it again but now i hardly get any matches. Im really confused how the app works under the hood, because maybe i am doing something wrong. For example: if i pick a certain age range, do i get to see girls who set my age range as well? same goes for distance? I tried reinstalling the app and logging in and out.
Thanks in advance.
ZackieChan
Member
Did you delete the mojo.js file?
I hope not.
I hope not.
This is better suited for the online dating thread, but I'll answer here anyway.
You only see girls within your settings, no matter if they've liked you or not. So if you have 20-25 and a 26 year old girl swipes right on you, you won't see her anyway. However if you change your range to 20-26, you'll see her. Same rules apply to distance. Also girls who have liked you will appear earlier in the pile.
For the algorithm part (and anything below here is just speculation from my part), I would assume that Tinder favors newly created profiles, i.e. puts you higher up in the pile in an attempt to get you hooked quick (since higher in the pile = more visibility = more matches = more happiness). I think there definitely is merit to that you get placed lower in the pile after a few weeks or so. In the beginning you also get way better looking people, which once again wants you to go "damn there are some fine chicks on this app, I better pay to keep swiping". One can speculate that Tinder keeps an internal popularity score for each profile based on number of likes or something, and uses that to choose who to display to new users.
Another thing I've noticed is that the month I had Tinder premium, my pile was just way bigger, it basically never ended. Granted it was on a new profile, but after the subscription ran out I immediately ran into "There's no one new around you".
Royal_Phalanx
Member
Just installed Tinder today, and the first girl near me that it showed was a really HOT 25 year old. I really still have some way to go in terms of improving how I present myself, eh. Debating posting a picture of myself here to see where I stand, but I kinda don't feel comfortable with putting my face on the internet because of privacy reasons. Is the advice I've been given to put pictures of myself with friends or with other girls up on dating sites legit advice in your case? I've been told it makes you look friendlier and more approachable, and I've been told by the same people not to go clubbing on my own because girls will think you're weird since you look like you have no friends. It seems girls can get away with just using selfies of themselves looking pretty, if that's true 
Just installed Tinder today, and the first girl near me that it showed was a really HOT 25 year old. I really still have some way to go in terms of improving how I present myself, eh. Debating posting a picture of myself here to see where I stand, but I kinda don't feel comfortable with putting my face on the internet because of privacy reasons. Is the advice I've been given to put pictures of myself with friends or with other girls up on dating sites legit advice in your case? It seems girls can get away with just using selfies of themselves looking pretty, if that's true
Yourself with a girl? Profile suicide.
Yourself with group of friends? Yes, definitely. Third pic or later I'd say.
Royal_Phalanx
Member
So the 'post yourself with another girl' to make yourself look 'more attractive' idea is complete BS then. Interesting. I've always been told that that makes them more interested in you because another girl seems to like you or something.
I mean we should get the girls in this thread to weigh in, but I seriously doubt it would boost your chances, both from my own view and from what I've heard and read.
ZackieChan
Member
Did girls tell you that? Girls aren't really the best judge of what they want to see in a dating profile (no offense to any ladies in here).
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
What? Who told you that? Having friends and such are fine but it's be the same if you came across a girls profile of pictures with her and a guy and wonder if she's actually looking for a bf.
I have a picture with a girl (a friend's wife) as my very last picture. Only reason it's on there is because it is one of my most recent pictures and I look great in it. I would definitely not put that picture as my main Tinder profile pic, though.
If you want a data-driven approach, you should look up some of the old OKCupid blog articles that show which types of pictures actually get the highest click-through/message rates.
ZackieChan
Member
Nothing worse than a girl's profile with a photo of her and an obvious ex-boyfriend with the face blurred out or blacked out. Naw son.
Don't they have a thing where people will rate your photo for you? It was eye-opening when I did it.
Then again, my female cousin picked some awful photos of me for my profile. Photo #1 should be you and cute dogs/animals. I've got me and small dogs and me and a live panda on my profile. I'm the master. I should add that penguin photo, as well...
Don't they have a thing where people will rate your photo for you? It was eye-opening when I did it.
Then again, my female cousin picked some awful photos of me for my profile. Photo #1 should be you and cute dogs/animals. I've got me and small dogs and me and a live panda on my profile. I'm the master. I should add that penguin photo, as well...
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Penguin photos should always be front and center.
Between her last really push-y hint and today, I haven't yet asked my coworker out. I was for some days thinking about it, if I should go for it knowing that things could get awkward as some said, but since I decided to go for it we've had our days off and stuff and we haven't yet had time to talk. Today I was set on going for it as she was also there; even though on different shifts, we had two coinciding hours, but I came out at 6pm and even by then she was still busy with lots of requests and clients around, as it is Saturday and it's always a very difficult day, especially in December in retail.
How late is too late? Should I worry about it? Tomorrow I'll have another day off and Monday we won't be working at the same time. If she is interesting it's not a couple days that's going to blow everything away right? I'm kinda worried that she took the way I dismissed her push-y hints as rejection lmao. But I wasn't really expecting to have a relationship with someone at work. It really took me by surprise and made me realize that I actually like her.
How late is too late? Should I worry about it? Tomorrow I'll have another day off and Monday we won't be working at the same time. If she is interesting it's not a couple days that's going to blow everything away right? I'm kinda worried that she took the way I dismissed her push-y hints as rejection lmao. But I wasn't really expecting to have a relationship with someone at work. It really took me by surprise and made me realize that I actually like her.
ZackieChan
Member
Come at me gaf. Here's my new profile:
Taken a second before that damned ostrich bit my arm - Santa Barbara, CA
I put on this outfit and the ladies came flocking to me - Forbidden City, Beijing, China
Similarly, I was accosted for a photo by a group of ladies - Outside Chairman Mao's Mausoleum, Beijing, China
Royal_Phalanx
Member
I know a guy who posed for a picture with a tiger at a zoo in Thailand. He was actually petting the tiger. I need to go to that zoo, pose with that tiger and look like a fearless badass.
ZackieChan
Member
Yeah, you can do that here. Apparently they drug them or something. There's lots of claims of inhumane treatment of animals in those tourist things. Not 100% sure it's the case, though.
I've got a ton of photos of me during next to a real live panda though. Someone made it happen - a once in a lifetime experience!
lol no, that's not true at all.
Just... ask her out when you get a chance? I feel like you're starting to blow this out of proportion.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Show me your ways 😭
j0hnnix
Member
Need some opinions. So after a bad breakup. I've been chatting with two woman both have kids(while I'm a father myself) I feel like it's not in me to raise another so I have brought this to their attention.. Anyways, to my bigger interest. My ex of a year ago has been talking with me after finding out I am single again.. So while we're friends she has invited me to dinner with her and her family her msg was "would you like to spend time with my family and with me" so I'm wondering if she is trying to move forward with something more.. What does dat gaf think?
P.S I had a girl in tinder like me and we matched msg her this morning we talked a few messages but she hasn't responded in a few hours, move on or wait?
P.S I had a girl in tinder like me and we matched msg her this morning we talked a few messages but she hasn't responded in a few hours, move on or wait?
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
So, GAF, yeah. In still confused where this is going with this girl. As I've said, the second date went awesome. We were close with touching, hand holding, I kissed her shoulder, and eventually I was going to make the first kiss move, but she ended up with the first move. We kissed at the last bar, out in the parking lot, I held her hand while driving her home, and we kissed in front of her apt......
But she doesn't seem to be that interested in texting first? It's always me that initiates the texting first, and sometimes she'll respond back many hours later, which I can understand with work, but sometimes even a day later.
I would really like to communicate with her more when we're not together, but then again it has only been the second date.
Is it wise to bring this up to her when we see each other again?
Have any of you guys or gals dated someone who was into you but just hardly ever texted back? I hope reading too much into this. She is an old fashion type gal from Wisconsin.
But she doesn't seem to be that interested in texting first? It's always me that initiates the texting first, and sometimes she'll respond back many hours later, which I can understand with work, but sometimes even a day later.
I would really like to communicate with her more when we're not together, but then again it has only been the second date.
Is it wise to bring this up to her when we see each other again?
Have any of you guys or gals dated someone who was into you but just hardly ever texted back? I hope reading too much into this. She is an old fashion type gal from Wisconsin.
Whew, my date was sooooo cute, when i went to work i was literally walking 1feet from the ground and a stupid smile on my face.
No kissing though, i was too anxious to do it.
And now she told me that she passed by my workplace but i was already heading home (if she'd told me i would have waited for her for sure), that is a good sign isn't it?
No kissing though, i was too anxious to do it.
And now she told me that she passed by my workplace but i was already heading home (if she'd told me i would have waited for her for sure), that is a good sign isn't it?
1) Ex could mean anything. Rekindling a friendship or something. Maybe her family missed you. Maybe she does. Don't read too much into it. Also depends how the breakup happened.
2) for Tinder girl, you don't need to move on OR wait. I mean, 'move on', do other things and don't wait around for her, but also don't delete her.
As long as she takes less than 24 hrs to reply, you're good. Don't insist on txting more, you might appear clingy. Save your chatting for the dates.
Way to go, PHILIPPO!!
Royal_Phalanx
Member
Friends (all guys) told me that. Though they aren't really good with girls (though seemingly much better than me, they've both had/have girlfriends and have had tons of sex within those relationships, Never Have I Ever is a real eye opener) so I do admit their advice may be well off the mark here.
Never Have I Ever is a horrible game and I hate it. I once had a literal virgin telling me he had more sexual experience than me because of it. I'm just like "yo sorry I don't do that kinky shit but at least I had sex"
(I'm a bitchy drunk)
Point is, certainly don't base your relationship related self worth, or those on your friends, on what is essentially a drunken game made to see who the craziest (or "sluttiest", as it works out for women) person in the room is.
Also just because someone had sex in a lake or sky diving or whatever doesn't meant they had a lot of it. Just in case you drew that conclusion.
(btw I like that game when it doesn't involve sex but 99% of the time that's just where it goes)
Royal_Phalanx
Member
I mentioned this before in this thread, but yeah, that experience was literally hell for me as a virgin. It was a clear reminder of how behind socially I am when compared to my peers. I'm honestly never going to bring the subject of sexual experience up if I meet a cute new girl who I really click with. I've reached the conclusion that admitting to being a virgin at 23 is basically dating suicide and does a guy no favours. I'm trying not to let it get to me, but it is a real struggle.
Interface23
Member
Eh it's not that bad, I was until I was 20. You find the right girl and you'll be comfortable and confident.
It really isn't, though.
Why do you want to text with her so badly? I get that you like her but don't you have other things to do with your time and energy? Check in every once in awhile just to say hi and be cute, but save talking to her when you meet up again.
Ideally you won't date a girl that is a slave to her phone. Imagine if you guys go out and all she is doing is replying immediately to other people's texts and taking selfies. Hell on earth.
j0hnnix
Member
That's how I'm taking it with my. I dont text her much, she reached out to me. Honestly she knows I missed her. The breakup was normal she was transferred to Texas , and we parted ways but kept in contact.
As for the tinder. Not msging her. Just letting it go where it goes.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
It's kind of funny about the virgin thing because most of the girls I've been with recently were all virgins. I still feel like if you don't make a big deal of it it's not a big deal and just sound comfortable with it.
Shuggananas
Banned
Honestly don't bother mentioning you're a virgin, it's no big deal, it's only a big deal if you make it one
RedVladimir
Banned
You're putting a little too much on her, I think.
First things first. Yes, her taking 24 hours to reply is a clear sign of disinterest. Your gut does not lie to you (it rarely does when it comes to relationships). Doesn't matter how busy you are, no one spends an entire day without looking at their phone.
What this means is you have to considerably scale back your perceived level of interest, to equal or lesser than hers. She takes an hour to respond, you take an hour or more. A day? You day and half, or not at all. You are in 'damage control' mode. Likelihood of salvaging this is hard to determine, as it all depends on far too many factors unrelated to you.
Use this time to focus on yourself (hobbies/family/friends). as you should already be doing. Also start dating other girls. Which brings me to my second point:
You are DATING. You are not a couple. Do not be surprised if she's also going out with someone else. Not sure if the meaning of dating has changed by late millennials, but kissing on date is not a sign of exclusivity. She could very well be seeing someone else and is weighing her options for exclusivity. My bet is she's decided and it's not you.
Women are generally terrible at direct confrontation. They'd rather make you read between the lines. So if you are going to bring this up, do not do it while on a date. Simply call her. She'll feel more comfortable telling you (the potentially bad) news over the phone. You'll save time, money and gas.
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