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[Advocatus Diaboli]

Well, it's over. I'm so heart broken, and it really hurts.

I shot a text this morning, basically a goodbye. She finally texted back saying how she felt physically suffocated on our last date. I must admit, and I think I didn't mention this before, but on the last date, I really was doing that to her. I scooted the bar stool really close to her, kept rubbing her back under her jacket. I did the same at another bar, and then we all know the story about her feeling confused about me wanting to sleep at her place. I was too lovey dovey, only because I was picking up where we left off on our second date.

Anyway, she said she thought about giving us another shot, but there was no desire. She thanked me for showing around Florida.

I apologized, told her I should've let things happened naturally, and it pained me that I would never see her again.

My life outside of dating already sucks with working retail and having no money with my useless degree, and finally something great happens in my life and it gets taken away just like that. I'm at work and I feel lethargic.

As I've said before, I've become completely useless on this battlefield, and I've made a mockery of myself.

Yes, but look at what you learned from this relationship. Except you're not recognizing agency here. Something didn't "get taken away" from you. The dynamic between you and this girl wasn't ideal for her (and probably, it wasn't ideal for you, either, because you were nervous and anxious half the time). Own it. Improve for next time.

Although, I know from other threads that your degree/job situation has you down. I'm in a similar boat, and I actually felt exactly how you felt about that girl with my ex: she was a stable bright spot in a life of uncertainty for me. I'm not going to be one of those "work on yourself" people -- you already know that, and you already do that, as evidenced by your posts in the jobs OT -- but I will say that you definitely learned a lot about yourself in a very short period of time.

Be thankful for that. I know I am, with my ex. I was lucky enough to have a year's worth of a relationship jammed into 2 months and have it end right before 2016 started: the timing's pretty great, so let's both start fresh(er).

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

And I did everything right on the first and second date. Perfect to the T. It's just the third date I really fucked up, since I became emotionally invested in a girl that I haven't felt in five years. I generally know what I'm doing on dates, but then when someone special comes along, I become a noob with the clingy texting the next day. I've met girls in between those five years, but nothing really materialized beyond casual dating.

I haven't cried in years, really can't remember the last time. I'm not sure if this roots to my father leaving my mother, sister, and I when I was 15. My mother was still going to college with no income and we became homeless for a few days. I tried to be a bigger man and holding my emotions inside for all these years, but eventually a heart of stone cracks.

I don't know if this all relates, and I have this fear of abandonment when i get emotionally attached to a girl.

I've been crying in the breakroom on my break.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

You should be a nice/good person, yes. But that should be your own moral compass, and not how you want others to perceive you.

But be a nice person, not a "nice guy". Don't shower girls with gifts, be their chauffeur, be their emotional sponge, and then feel entitled to their affection. Life isn't a Bioware RPG where you can make people fall in love with you by just entering enough affinity points via x number of gifts or acts.

There are plenty of genuinely nice guys who are just decent people (while still being assertive and not being a doormat, and who don't place girls on a pedestal) who are in healthy relationships.

Instead of comparing yourseld to people who have better success but who you find dull/undeserving of girls' interest, look into how you could improve yourself as a person. Not to impress or attract girls, but for yourself.

Man, anytime a girl is trying to tell me about her emotional problems I'm trying to dip the fuck out asap. Like you have a boyfriend for that. Tell me something funny lol. You dint even know ny fav colour, why am I trying to here about 8 million problems?

 

[Assanova]

Well, it's over. I'm so heart broken, and it really hurts.

I shot a text this morning, basically a goodbye. She finally texted back saying how she felt physically suffocated on our last date. I must admit, and I think I didn't mention this before, but on the last date, I really was doing that to her. I scooted the bar stool really close to her, kept rubbing her back under her jacket. I did the same at another bar, and then we all know the story about her feeling confused about me wanting to sleep at her place. I was too lovey dovey, only because I was picking up where we left off on our second date.

Anyway, she said she thought about giving us another shot, but there was no desire. She thanked me for showing around Florida.

I apologized, told her I should've let things happened naturally, and it pained me that I would never see her again.

My life outside of dating already sucks with working retail and having no money with my useless degree, and finally something great happens in my life and it gets taken away just like that. I'm at work and I feel lethargic.

As I've said before, I've become completely useless on this battlefield, and I've made a mockery of myself.

It's been way too long since ive felt like this about another girl, and the thought of her with her arms around another guy hurts.

If you're tired of your crappy retail job, then do something about it. I had a crappy degree and crappy job too, and I stopped complaining and actually did something about it. Sitting around feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to accomplish anything. And like AD said, the experience isn't completely useless if you learn something from it.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

And I did everything right on the first and second date. Perfect to the T. It's just the third date I really fucked up, since I became emotionally invested in a girl that I haven't felt in five years. I generally know what I'm doing on dates, but then when someone special comes along, I become a noob with the clingy texting the next day. I've met girls in between those five years, but nothing really materialized beyond casual dating.

I haven't cried in years, really can't remember the last time. I'm not sure if this roots to my father leaving my mother, sister, and I when I was 15. My mother was still going to college with no income and we became homeless for a few days. I tried to be a bigger man and holding my emotions inside for all these years, but eventually a heart of stone cracks.

I don't know if this all relates, and I have this fear of abandonment when i get emotionally attached to a girl.

I've been crying in the breakroom on my break.

You need to go home. You can't be bawlig your eyes out at work man. Its okay to be sad amd take time if you need it but work is not the place.

 

[Assanova]

And I did everything right on the first and second date. Perfect to the T. It's just the third date I really fucked up, since I became emotionally invested in a girl that I haven't felt in five years. I generally know what I'm doing on dates, but then when someone special comes along, I become a noob with the clingy texting the next day. I've met girls in between those five years, but nothing really materialized beyond casual dating.

I haven't cried in years, really can't remember the last time. I'm not sure if this roots to my father leaving my mother, sister, and I when I was 15. My mother was still going to college with no income and we became homeless for a few days. I tried to be a bigger man and holding my emotions inside for all these years, but eventually a heart of stone cracks.

I don't know if this all relates, and I have this fear of abandonment when i get emotionally attached to a girl.

I've been crying in the breakroom on my break.

And this is why every man should have multiple girls until things are officially exclusive. If I really like a girl and she decides to disappear, then I feel nothing because I have several other girls that I'm talking to. Multiple women really is the cure for neediness.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

I have been. Waiting to hear back from a couple of homeland security jobs, and I've been applying to banking jobs.

 

[Royal_Phalanx]

I had a girl classmate tell me all about how annoyed she was with her boyfriend that day because they had an argument the night before when we were taking the bus home from class. She was talking, and talking, and I just listened without saying anything, just going 'hmm' some times to show that I was actually listening to her, lol.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

And this is why every man should have multiple girls until things are officially exclusive. If I really like a girl and she decides to disappear, then I feel nothing because I have several other girls that I'm talking to. Multiple women really is the cure for neediness.

Well, I'm already talking to a girl I matched up with. Looks classy, loves wine, and is only 25 and has her own home. Working on her masters. She's tall, 5'11. I'm 6'1. She's really fit, too.

We'll see where this goes. I threw my archer joke, and she caught it right away saying she's seen the show.

 

[Royal_Phalanx]

If you're tired of your crappy retail job, then do something about it. I had a crappy degree and crappy job too, and I stopped complaining and actually did something about it. Sitting around feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to accomplish anything. And like AD said, the experience isn't completely useless if you learn something from it.

Hell, I have a good (STEM) degree with shit grades (making a useful degree a worthless one ) and I can't even get a job in retail. The only jobs I can get are temporary ones offering only Christmas period contracts (I just finished a warehouse one a couple of weeks ago). So many rejection emails. Job market is still terrible, I feel for you. Maybe you could go back to do another degree if that option is open to you (though the costs of a degree course are absurd, so it probably isn't possible)?

 

[Farsi]

Well, I'm already talking to a girl I matched up with. Looks classy, loves wine, and is only 25 and has her own home. Working on her masters. She's tall, 5'11. I'm 6'1. She's really fit, too.

We'll see where this goes. I threw my archer joke, and she caught it right away saying she's seen the show.

Goodluck not falling in love with that. She sounds amazing.

 

[Xun]

This is the important part here. When it comes to dating, "nice guys" will typically hide their true feelings, and act under the assumption that their kindness deserves to be rewarded with affection, which is manipulative. If you're being assertive, and open with your interest and desires, you're probably not a stereotypical nice guy.

I'd like to think I'm just generally a good guy instead of a "nice guy".

I know what I want, I don't seek anything in return and I ensure I stand up for my values.

I do however have some confidence issues (I can initially be shy with anyone), but I’m a lot better than I once was. I admittedly use alcohol as my vice against these confidence issues at times, but I'm working on it.

Yes, but look at what you learned from this relationship. Except you're not recognizing agency here. Something didn't "get taken away" from you. The dynamic between you and this girl wasn't ideal for her (and probably, it wasn't ideal for you, either, because you were nervous and anxious half the time). Own it. Improve for next time.

Although, I know from other threads that your degree/job situation has you down. I'm in a similar boat, and I actually felt exactly how you felt about that girl with my ex: she was a stable bright spot in a life of uncertainty for me. I'm not going to be one of those "work on yourself" people -- you already know that, and you already do that, as evidenced by your posts in the jobs OT -- but I will say that you definitely learned a lot about yourself in a very short period of time.

Be thankful for that. I know I am, with my ex. I was lucky enough to have a year's worth of a relationship jammed into 2 months and have it end right before 2016 started: the timing's pretty great, so let's both start fresh(er).

Solid advice.

You'll be fine Jason! You've gained a lot out of this, regardless of how you feel right now.

I certainly feel I've gained a lot out of what's happened the past few weeks, even if I'm still feeling broken about it right now.

I partially envy your closure to be honest, since at least you know where you stand in all of this! I was just told I was quiet and probably not suited for her, followed by a kiss...

 

[Jokab]

Welp, turns out I was completely right about the girl I'm seeing (initially FWB [which y'all said it really wasn't but for the sake of reference] turned into me liking her). We had a talk just now over text and she said she got nervous when I said will miss her before Christmas because she's not looking for anything serious since she got out of a four-year relationship this summer. And yeah I know, that's "I don't want a relationships with YOU" but I think I believe her. Still sucks, she was nice.

 

[Assanova]

Hell, I have a good (STEM) degree with shit grades (making a useful degree a worthless one ) and I can't even get a job in retail. The only jobs I can get are temporary ones offering only Christmas period contracts (I just finished a warehouse one a couple of weeks ago). So many rejection emails. Job market is still terrible, I feel for you. Maybe you could go back to do another degree if that option is open to you (though the costs of a degree course are absurd, so it probably isn't possible)?

This probably belongs in that jobs thread, but I got a STEM job without a STEM degree and since then I have been recruited by several employers. A lot of it is learning how to write a proper resume and sell yourself. I got my first STEM job by working for free for a few months and gaining as much experience as I could to put on my resume. Corporate places probably won't take a chance on you, but a lot of smaller companies and start-ups will.

Back on topic, if you have a crappy job, you really should focus full time on improving your situation. Unless you're extremely physically attractive, it's going to matter once girls get out of that college phase and mindset.

 

[KJRage]

Met a girl on periscope of all places. She seemed cool and she gave me her number after a while of watching her scopes and getting to know her a bit through there. She has mentioned meeting up several times(I live about an hour away), and texts have gotten heavily flirtatious. I've received some pictures and she has even talked about fooling around.

When I bring up that I might be in the area (which has been about twice now), she gets very flaky. She'll say to let her know when I'm going to be in the area and she'll request off work yadda yadda. I guess I thought I had it in the bag and caught feelings. I don't know why some girls feel the need to string people along for attention or whatever, but I was stupid in letting myself get attached. Not sure why she would even bother giving me her number. Terrible feeling after getting my hopes up.

Sorry for the rant. Had no where else to go to get that off my chest.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

I don't know why some girls feel the need to string people along

Well you see . . .

for attention

You do know.

Not to drag ya down cause this situation does suck. But basically, to me, once I propose chills and the person is flaky or wishy washy I just don't engage. People are not that hard to figure out. If you are the only one to start a conversation lost cause. If you have to propose everything lost cause. If they are washy on meeting lost cause.

Once they hit the lost cause bucket discard. If they engage after, always leave the ball in their court. Words are meaningless, anyone can say any shit. I tell people straight up, "balls in your court, you propose a day, I"ll see if I can make it work" if they are flaky. Gotta be business like about this. Time spent on some flaky ass loser can be spent doing shit you actually enjoy. Don't let people waste your time. Don't allow them to think you are tolerant of it.

Sorry for the rant. Had no where else to go to get that off my chest.

No need for apologies.

 

[KJRage]

Well you see . . .
You do know.

Not to drag ya down cause this situation does suck. But basically, to me, once I propose chills and the person is flaky or wishy washy I just don't engage. People are not that hard to figure out. If you are the only one to start a conversation lost cause. If you have to propose everything lost cause. If they are washy on meeting lost cause.

Once they hit the lost cause bucket discard. If they engage after, always leave the ball in their court. Words are meaningless, anyone can say any shit. I tell people straight up, "balls in your court, you propose a day, I"ll see if I can make it work" if they are flaky. Gotta be business like about this. Time spent on some flaky ass loser can be spent doing shit you actually enjoy. Don't let people waste your time. Don't allow them to think you are tolerant of it.


No need for apologies.

Appreciate the response. I'll just have to let it go and focus on other things. I knew what I had to do, but was just bummed about it. Many thanks.

 

[Dysfunctional]

So GAF, here goes my first real more than 50 character post on GAF, i've been lurking for the most parts, so bear with me.

Here is the story.
A 1½ month ago, i matched with this romanian girl (exchange student) on Tinder, just nearly a year older than me (i'm 22) so age definitely isn't the thing that's bothering me.
But i am having a hard time telling if she is actually interested in me or just being polite in the sense that she has only been in the city for like 6 months and might just be trying to make some friends. Honestly i don't blame her for wanting to do that either, who wouldn't? Nah my struggle is that even though we met casually in the city once and spent 5 hours together walking, talking, having a few beers and having a simple meal (Burger King) i feel like she is holding back or just not that interested in me.
I don't want to fuck this up, cause i genuinely like this one, i feel like being around her makes me a better person.
Oh and i just realized, i'm leaving out some details, we had some laughs, some good discussions and there was rarely any awkward silence nor did we look at our phones very much.

For christmas i got this giftcard for the cinema, tickets for two, and i obviously thought of her and invited her a few day after christmas.
She has agreeded and i'm looking forward to it, but my doubt still remains, i'm unsure of how she perceives me..

I do know that a person rarely falls head over heels for another from just one encounter, but i think you atleast have some idea of what it could be.

I feel the need to add some extra information which might help you guys deciphering the situation.
1. Our conversations through text (Facebook Messenger) rarely contain any smileys, but i'm slowly getting used to that, though it's a first that girl doesn't use them at my age.
2. She does use sarcasm around me, i don't know whether to take this as her making fun of me or actually being comfortable enough to do it around me.
3. Neither one of us are doing, what i think many others do, small daily texts like how are you. Our conversations nearly always has a purpose, like asking how something went cause we know what the other was supposed to do.
3.1. Here is a copy paste, to give you guys an idea

Me:For Christmas i got this giftcard for the movies and i was wondering if you'd like to go with me?
Her: What movies?
Me: Anyone
Me: Perhaps i should have said cinema Humørikonet smile
Her: Well.. mainly yes.
Me: But?
Her: I say mainly because you can never know the title of the movie or if I'll exist by that time. Everything is relative, you know.
Me: Thats s bit gloomy, but I'll take it as a yes.
Me: Anything you'd like to see?
Her : No. Surprise me and thank you for the invitation .
Me: My pleasure

4. She is very focused and talented and spends a great amount of time on her studies, would there even be room for something romantic? To clarify on this, she has gone to multiple talent/elite lectures,conventions and the like
5. She has told me that she doesn't see the point in a partner, not those word directly, but in the sense that she is so focused on her studies that she fails to see how another person could benefit her, she is egoistic like that. Not that i would deem it as a negative trait though.
6. In context to 5. She also, very shortly, mentioned that she just don't trust men cause all of them so far (the ones she has engaged romantically) have let her down, one way or the other. I have no specifics here, but she was very clear with me, when she said that she didn't wan't to elaborate on it (i asked what had happened of curiosity)
7. When we first matched on Tinder, i asked what she was doing there and she said it was her friends that told her that she needed a boyfriend and she was just on Tinder to please her friends, she has no expectations for Tinder what so ever and generally consider it to be a ego boosting/confirmation site.
8. She seems to have deleted her Tinder after we started writing together, i am assuming this cause i don't have our match there anymore.

TLR i am a confused 22 year old guy living in Denmark, studying, trying to find a partner, but am currently confused on how to approach this girl, if to approach at all?

All advice will be appreciated, if the need for more information should arise, please do let me know.
Also sorry for the text wall, but there is quite a few small things that i consider to have significant value in trying to understand her. i'll excuse myself beforehand, English is not my native tongue.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

Edit: I'll stop over analyzing. Thanks, max.

 

[Max]

We've all had worse happen. You've learned from it and thats all that matters

Stop thinking about it and move on

But i think you really need to ask yourself whether or not youre ready for a relationship or a fwb or whatever it is you want. You dont need to tell us but honestly after viewing your experience through so many posts it isnt even apparent what it is your looking for other than these expectations about this girl you met THREE times

 

[Llyranor]

.

If you're unsure where she stands, the quick simple way to find out is to ask her out on a date. Just asking to hang out at the cinema is too vague. Is it just as friends? Your intentions are not being clear, and subsequently her answer is not clear.

Ask for date:
- Yes = she likes you in that way
- No = she doesn't

It's not the end of the world if she says no. You'll get your answer quickly, instead of agonizing over whether she likes you or not. Also, it's your best chance. Assertiveness is attractive.

.

Why didn't things work out? You'll never know. Even if she told you a reason, it might not be the true reason anyway. There's really no point in thinking about it as a metagame where you should have done this action at this exact time would have triggered a completely different outcome. Different triggers apply differently to different girls. What may have worked on this girl may completely backfire with another girl.

Instead, focus on lessons that may apply more universally. Don't be clingy especially not by overtexting, don't drink and drive and insist on driving her home, don't tell stories about peeing your pants while still in the early stage.

 

[RedVladimir]

This is simply not true. I am attracted to pretty much every girl I am around, and we get along perfectly fine. If your postulate had been that you can't be friends with a girl you have feelings for, then sure I might be more inclined to agree.

That is patently false.

You cannot be sexually attracted to every woman you know. (I do hope you know attraction is a sexual thing.)

So, if you really would like to have sex with every girl you know, then I'm sorry to inform you that not only are you in the small minority, but you may very well have a condition of some sort!

And you can't have "feelings" for someone you don't know. That's a lie. Having feelings for someone doesn't happen before attraction.

Imagine, that girl you really, really like that works at the local bookstore, all those fantasies you have about taking her for ice cream, holding her hand, laughing together, having a connection, maybe even marrying her, etc. (all non-sexual), are all subsequent to a simple biological process: attraction. Attraction is the catalyst for emotions. To hammer it home: You cannot love (as in romantically) someone you are not attracted to. And you cannot choose nor control who you are attracted to either (at most, you can categorize the features you deem most attractive, but changing them after your formative years is near impossible.)

So I'll leave you with this: what would you do if all these girls you say you "get along with just fine" suddenly wanted to kiss you? Would you stop them? And if you wouldn't, what does that make you? A friend? And if you would, not attracted to them?

You see where I'm going with this? You can't be platonic (an inherent feature of true friendship) with a woman you find sexually attractive. Your feelings may be well buried under cordiality, but that doesn't make them any less true. And not being sexually attracted to someone doesn't mean they are not conventionally attractive, it just means you are not attracted to them for the reasons I mentioned above.

Welp, turns out I was completely right about the girl I'm seeing (initially FWB [which y'all said it really wasn't but for the sake of reference] turned into me liking her). We had a talk just now over text and she said she got nervous when I said will miss her before Christmas because she's not looking for anything serious since she got out of a four-year relationship this summer. And yeah I know, that's "I don't want a relationships with YOU" but I think I believe her. Still sucks, she was nice.

You really think she needs close to 6 months to get over her LTR? I wonder, what existential hole did that asshole leave on this poor girl?! LOL

You know what this is, as you briefly mentioned in your post. It's not that she doesn't want to get into a relationship, she just hasn't find That Guy™ yet. I'm afraid you are not that guy. And that's okay (that's a few billion women, your odds of finding nice girl are looking pretty good). Still, if you are able to reap the benefits without the exclusivity, then keep doing it. Read my first reply to your "FWB" situation about how to entice her to make this exclusive. You know, once you've tried eveything but...

 

[RedVladimir]

So GAF, here goes my first real more than 50 character post on GAF, i've been lurking for the most parts, so bear with me.

Here is the story.
A 1½ month ago, i matched with this romanian girl (exchange student) on Tinder, just nearly a year older than me (i'm 22) so age definitely isn't the thing that's bothering me.
But i am having a hard time telling if she is actually interested in me or just being polite in the sense that she has only been in the city for like 6 months and might just be trying to make some friends. Honestly i don't blame her for wanting to do that either, who wouldn't? Nah my struggle is that even though we met casually in the city once and spent 5 hours together walking, talking, having a few beers and having a simple meal (Burger King) i feel like she is holding back or just not that interested in me.

Oh and i just realized, i'm leaving out some details, we had some laughs, some good discussions and there was rarely any awkward silence nor did we look at our phones very much.

For christmas i got this giftcard for the cinema, tickets for two, and i obviously thought of her and invited her a few day after christmas.
She has agreeded and i'm looking forward to it, but my doubt still remains, i'm unsure of how she perceives me..

You are thinking way too much.

Also, why are you trying to be friends with a girl you are attracted to? Why, why, why?

It's a rhetorical question, actually. I know why: Because you do not want to hurt your ego. You are trying (very hard, as evidenced by the length of your post) to minimize or outright eliminate risk and maximize reward. Ironically, this strategy has the opposite effect.

What if I told you, your decisiveness in pursuing a romantic relationship has 3x times the chances of working than the old-and-failed friendship-then-wait-another-year-until-you-are-really-sure-then-ask-her-out method?

Don't you get it? She likes guys that go for what they want! Thus, by very definition, you are not doing what she finds attractive. Asking her out means you are putting yourself out there and you are risking the relationship, sure. Both which are risks worth taking, for A) if you don't put yourself out there, you will rarely--if ever--get the signals of interest from her, which will keep you in this perpetual, self-imposed friendzone until she makes the move, and B) you are wasting time and energy into a fake relationship; you are not her platonic friend, but a guy who is willing to sell out his time for a girl that doesn't reciprocate... time and energy you could be focusing on other girls or your own endeavors.

I don't want to fuck this up, cause i genuinely like this one, i feel like being around her makes me a better person.

Also, this is a load of crap. A lie you are telling yourself. And as I suspected reading this post, at one point you even downplay her evident shortcomings (e.g. the ego thing). Don't put her on a pedestal, this is unattractive.

Always err on the side of too much boldness, and you will be handsomely rewarded.

I really didn't want to post this, because I'm afraid of the truth, but I'm hoping there's no really way of knowing....

So one thing that bothers me is that she said she thought about giving it another chance, but came to a conclusion that she has no desire to try and give me another chance. Now as you've read my last post about calling it quits, she was physically suffocated by actions on the third date, and to which I admitted I was in my previous post. I was too hands on and lovey dovey, and the whole trying to sleep with her turned her off, because she said she wasn't one of those girls that's easy to sleep with. I'm hoping that was the reason for the no desire part to give me another chance, and not that she felt attracted to me anymore.

It's hard to gauge which one, because on the second date as I've said in many times, she wanted me to open up to feel closer to me, with the "most embarrassing thing that's happened to you in public" question. When a girl asks you that question, she's very comfortable around you and thus the kissing happened. She kissed me first at the bar. She kissed me again in front of the car in the parking lot. I worked my way down to her neck, and she was moaning. Finally the last kiss in the car. She switched drinks with me, a glass of wine that was bitter and a craft beer I didn't like.

This girl went out of her way to switch shifts, and had to work a double. The attraction seemed to be there, but the fuck up on the third date happened.

Has this happened to any of you or any other guys when it came to dating a girl after a few dates and getting too physically attached to a girl where the girl felt uncomfortable and didn't want to see you anymore?

I know getting too clingy and emotionally attached via texting can turn a woman off, and you guys were right.

Jason, I know there's some resistance to my advice, but it's all based on experience. I told you this would happen, and I've extensively explained why. However, there's something I think you need to hear:

This is good.

You see, you were going to break up with this girl down the road anyway even if you had slept with her and went out for some time. You clearly weren't going to marry her (though not for lack of trying). You were simply not ready. You must know your own value, show it to women, and watch them invest themselves in you. Your value must be built by your accomplishments: physical, interpersonal, material, and social. You may be lacking in these areas and are trying to find some kind of meaning in a relationship. What guys forget is that relationships don't fix shit; all you're doing is inviting someone to your misery party, which always leads back to square one. Work on yourself first.

This is a gaming forum, so think of it this way: She was a level 23 Boss, you are level 15. You may have done some damage (giggity) but you're not going to win the fight. You must earn more experience, otherwise this will happen again. This is good, because this is what you need so you may get the right girl eventually. So don't feel discouraged. The odds are on your side.

I was too hands on and lovey dovey, and the whole trying to sleep with her turned her off, because she said she wasn't one of those girls that's easy to sleep with. I'm hoping that was the reason for the no desire part to give me another chance, and not that she felt attracted to me anymore.

And That's a lie, my friend. You simply weren't That Guy™. Do you really think she needed 3-5 more dates (all paid by you, of course) and a trail of roses leading to your bedroom in order to seal the deal? And that's what this girl is looking for on Tinder, of all places? The same girl that made out with you outside her apartment? Is the cognitive dissonance kicking in yet?

 

[Gotdatmoney]

So GAF, here goes my first real more than 50 character post on GAF, i've been lurking for the most parts, so bear with me.

Here is the story.
A 1½ month ago, i matched with this romanian girl (exchange student) on Tinder, just nearly a year . der than me (i'm 22) so age definitely isn't the thing that's bothering me.
But i am having a hard time telling if she is actually interested in me or just being polite in the sense that she has only been in the city for like 6 months and might just be trying to make some friends. Honestly i don't blame her for wanting to do that either, who wouldn't? Nah my struggle is that even though we met casually in the city once and spent 5 hours together walking, talking, having a few beers and having a simple meal (Burger King) i feel like she is holding back or just not that interested in me.
I don't want to fuck this up, cause i genuinely like this one, i feel like being around her makes me a better person.
Oh and i just realized, i'm leaving out some details, we had some laughs, some good discussions and there was rarely any awkward silence nor did we look at our phones very much.

For christmas i got this giftcard for the cinema, tickets for two, and i obviously thought of her and invited her a few day after christmas.
She has agreeded and i'm looking forward to it, but my doubt still remains, i'm unsure of how she perceives me..

I do know that a person rarely falls head over heels for another from just one encounter, but i think you atleast have some idea of what it could be.

I feel the need to add some extra information which might help you guys deciphering the situation.
1. Our conversations through text (Facebook Messenger) rarely contain any smileys, but i'm slowly getting used to that, though it's a first that girl doesn't use them at my age.
2. She does use sarcasm around me, i don't know whether to take this as her making fun of me or actually being comfortable enough to do it around me.
3. Neither one of us are doing, what i think many others do, small daily texts like how are you. Our conversations nearly always has a purpose, like asking how something went cause we know what the other was supposed to do.
3.1. Here is a copy paste, to give you guys an idea

Me:For Christmas i got this giftcard for the movies and i was wondering if you'd like to go with me?
Her: What movies?
Me: Anyone
Me: Perhaps i should have said cinema Humørikonet smile
Her: Well.. mainly yes.
Me: But?
Her: I say mainly because you can never know the title of the movie or if I'll exist by that time. Everything is relative, you know.
Me: Thats s bit gloomy, but I'll take it as a yes.
Me: Anything you'd like to see?
Her : No. Surprise me and thank you for the invitation .
Me: My pleasure

4. She is very focused and talented and spends a great amount of time on her studies, would there even be room for something romantic? To clarify on this, she has gone to multiple talent/elite lectures,conventions and the like
5. She has told me that she doesn't see the point in a partner, not those word directly, but in the sense that she is so focused on her studies that she fails to see how another person could benefit her, she is egoistic like that. Not that i would deem it as a negative trait though.
6. In context to 5. She also, very shortly, mentioned that she just don't trust men cause all of them so far (the ones she has engaged romantically) have let her down, one way or the other. I have no specifics here, but she was very clear with me, when she said that she didn't wan't to elaborate on it (i asked what had happened of curiosity)
7. When we first matched on Tinder, i asked what she was doing there and she said it was her friends that told her that she needed a boyfriend and she was just on Tinder to please her friends, she has no expectations for Tinder what so ever and generally consider it to be a ego boosting/confirmation site.
8. She seems to have deleted her Tinder after we started writing together, i am assuming this cause i don't have our match there anymore.

TLR i am a confused 22 year old guy living in Denmark, studying, trying to find a partner, but am currently confused on how to approach this girl, if to approach at all?

All advice will be appreciated, if the need for more information should arise, please do let me know.
Also sorry for the text wall, but there is quite a few small things that i consider to have significant value in trying to understand her. i'll excuse myself beforehand, English is not my native tongue.

My gut tells me no she ia not interested but since English is not your main language I can't tell if I'm missing tone in your posts. I would agree with the other poster saying ask her on an official date. Just see what she says. Sadly I'm a lil useless on this one man haha

 

[Faabulous]

As for the other thing. Do not date a coworker. I repeat, do not date a co-worker. (I know you're going to do it anyway, as I once did despite numerous warnings from friends. I just want to let you know it may or may not end well.)

Would you mind elaborating?


It's kind of late for the "don't date" thing.

I need someone to smack me. Had a date that went so well on Saturday that I'm second guessing everything.

On Saturday, we met at a bar for a first date. Right off the bat, it's clear she's into me - she's got one hand on her drink, the other's playing with her hair. After the first drink we head to a quieter section of the bar and sit down in a booth. From there things escalate. I tell a joke, she puts her hand on my leg. In comparing watches, our hands touch for awhile. She called me handsome more than once. She puts her leg on my lap, and eventually we end up kissing. After 2.5 hours we go our separate ways, even though she did offer to give me a ride home (I had driven there myself).

Sounds wonderful, right? That's the problem! In my admittedly short dating career, I've never had a date go that well. Now I'm wondering "what's the catch?" Is she a gold digger? Something worse?

And then there's the fears of screwing up the texting meta-game. I was planning on texting every other day, since we already have the second date setup, but then she messaged me yesterday, and ugh....

I need to get out of my head for a bit...

Dude...
Did you drink and drive? wtf man

 

[gaiages]

You really think she needs close to 6 months to get over her LTR? I wonder, what existential hole did that asshole leave on this poor girl?! LOL

Oh, come on, don't be like that. Lots of people need time to heal after long relationships ending. Some people take months to get over it.

 

[Salamando]

Dude...
Did you drink and drive? wtf man

Yes, but I also didn't bother to tell the entire not-related-to-the-story details of how I drank a liter of water before the date, filled my stomach with mix of carbs and lean protein, drank more water than beer during the date, only had three pints total, drank another liter of water after the date, and even then I walked to the 24 hour coffee shop down the road.

I had to go to the bathroom a lot, but damn was my mind clear by the end. Was even able to debug a gaffer's code not long after getting home.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

You are thinking way too much.

Also, why are you trying to be friends with a girl you are attracted to? Why, why, why?

It's a rhetorical question, actually. I know why: Because you do not want to hurt your ego. You are trying (very hard, as evidenced by the length of your post) to minimize or outright eliminate risk and maximize reward. Ironically, this strategy has the opposite effect.

What if I told you, your decisiveness in pursuing a romantic relationship has 3x times the chances of working than the old-and-failed friendship-then-wait-another-year-until-you-are-really-sure-then-ask-her-out method?

Don't you get it? She likes guys that go for what they want! Thus, by very definition, you are not doing what she finds attractive. Asking her out means you are putting yourself out there and you are risking the relationship, sure. Both which are risks worth taking, for A) if you don't put yourself out there, you will rarely--if ever--get the signals of interest from her, which will keep you in this perpetual, self-imposed friendzone until she makes the move, and B) you are wasting time and energy into a fake relationship; you are not her platonic friend, but a guy who is willing to sell out his time for a girl that doesn't reciprocate... time and energy you could be focusing on other girls or your own endeavors.



Also, this is a load of crap. A lie you are telling yourself. And as I suspected reading this post, at one point you even downplay her evident shortcomings (e.g. the ego thing). Don't put her on a pedestal, this is unattractive.

Always err on the side of too much boldness, and you will be handsomely rewarded.



Jason, I know there's some resistance to my advice, but it's all based on experience. I told you this would happen, and I've extensively explained why. However, there's something I think you need to hear:

This is good.

You see, you were going to break up with this girl down the road anyway even if you had slept with her and went out for some time. You clearly weren't going to marry her (though not for lack of trying). You were simply not ready. You must know your own value, show it to women, and watch them invest themselves in you. Your value must be built by your accomplishments: physical, interpersonal, material, and social. You may be lacking in these areas and are trying to find some kind of meaning in a relationship. What guys forget is that relationships don't fix shit; all you're doing is inviting someone to your misery party, which always leads back to square one. Work on yourself first.

This is a gaming forum, so think of it this way: She was a level 23 Boss, you are level 15. You may have done some damage (giggity) but you're not going to win the fight. You must earn more experience, otherwise this will happen again. This is good, because this is what you need so you may get the right girl eventually. So don't feel discouraged. The odds are on your side.



And That's a lie, my friend. You simply weren't That Guy™. Do you really think she needed 3-5 more dates (all paid by you, of course) and a trail of roses leading to your bedroom in order to seal the deal? And that's what this girl is looking for on Tinder, of all places? The same girl that made out with you outside her apartment? Is the cognitive dissonance kicking in yet?

Sorry, red. I think you're wrong on this one. She was legit uncomfortable, and she brought it up during the breakup up text that she felt "physically suffocated" which I was towards her on the third date. im not saying I had to be romantic. She wasn't ready after three dates to sleep with me. She texted her roommate to come get her, because I was " physically suffocating her". If she wanted to sleep with me at the end of the third date, she wouldn't have contacted her roommate to bail her out. She didn't want to see me anymore because I didn't push harder to sleep with her.

 

[Milly Osworth]

RedVladimir you sound like an expert. Does this mean you are succesful with women or is it all theoretical? 😉

 

[Gotdatmoney]

That is patently false.

You cannot be sexually attracted to every woman you know. (I do hope you know attraction is a sexual thing.)

So, if you really would like to have sex with every girl you know, then I'm sorry to inform you that not only are you in the small minority, but you may very well have a condition of some sort!

And you can't have "feelings" for someone you don't know. That's a lie. Having feelings for someone doesn't happen before attraction.

Imagine, that girl you really, really like that works at the local bookstore, all those fantasies you have about taking her for ice cream, holding her hand, laughing together, having a connection, maybe even marrying her, etc. (all non-sexual), are all subsequent to a simple biological process: attraction. Attraction is the catalyst for emotions. To hammer it home: You cannot love (as in romantically) someone you are not attracted to. And you cannot choose nor control who you are attracted to either (at most, you can categorize the features you deem most attractive, but changing them after your formative years is near impossible.)

So I'll leave you with this: what would you do if all these girls you say you "get along with just fine" suddenly wanted to kiss you? Would you stop them? And if you wouldn't, what does that make you? A friend? And if you would, not attracted to them?

You see where I'm going with this? You can't be platonic (an inherent feature of true friendship) with a woman you find sexually attractive. Your feelings may be well buried under cordiality, but that doesn't make them any less true. And not being sexually attracted to someone doesn't mean they are not conventionally attractive, it just means you are not attracted to them for the reasons I mentioned above.

If a girl I got along with wanted to kiss me (and I thought she was physically attractive) I would reciprocate. And if she wanted to have sex I would have sex. Cause like I enjoy both those things.

Doesn't mean I'm gonna go on dates with her and try to make her my girlfriend. Why the fuck would I do that? If I didn't try that shit from the jump then what reason do you possibly think validates that I would wanna do it now? Because you dont think anyone can separate dick from emotion?

 

[Faabulous]

Yes, but I also didn't bother to tell the entire not-related-to-the-story details of how I drank a liter of water before the date, filled my stomach with mix of carbs and lean protein, drank more water than beer during the date, only had three pints total, drank another liter of water after the date, and even then I walked to the 24 hour coffee shop down the road.

I had to go to the bathroom a lot, but damn was my mind clear by the end. Was even able to debug a gaffer's code not long after getting home.

While drinking water might avoid you a hangover the next day, it won't lower your BAC man.
This is a dating thread and all but PLEASE don't drink and drive. Take a cab or something. Please.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Yes, but I also didn't bother to tell the entire not-related-to-the-story details of how I drank a liter of water before the date, filled my stomach with mix of carbs and lean protein, drank more water than beer during the date, only had three pints total, drank another liter of water after the date, and even then I walked to the 24 hour coffee shop down the road.

I had to go to the bathroom a lot, but damn was my mind clear by the end. Was even able to debug a gaffer's code not long after getting home.

Wait, you had 3 pints? I nornally don't interject on this stuff because its not like anyone here can stop you but like, if my friend tried to drive after 3 pints, I would punch them out. That's literally absurd to me.

This is off topic but since someone highlighted it I think its important to recognize. No one wants to see anyone hurt or in a bag, if you want to drink a good amount, avoid driving.

 

[Salamando]

Wait, you had 3 pints? I nornally don't interject on this stuff because its not like anyone here can stop you but like, if my friend tried to drive after 3 pints, I would punch them out. That's literally absurd to me.

All told it was about ~40oz of drink, spread across 2.5 hours in the bar, and then about 1.5 -2 hours in a coffee shop reading "The Martian". I won't even hop in my car if my BAC is above 0.04 or I'm feeling any of the effects. This night, it was below 0.02. There's a reason Guinness is my goto beer (as far as respectable beers go, you won't find one with a lower ABV).

I appreciate the concern, but I'm already hyper-paranoid about drunk driving thanks to my family. I still keep a breathalyzer in my car due to my older sister. You see how a real drunk gets, you do whatever you can to keep your own ass in line.

 

[huxley00]

I like reading the stories of others, so I suppose I'll post my own. Not even sure I'm looking for any advice, just like to get what I'm going through on the page.

I had been online dating for about 3 months. Things were going relatively well and I was seeing three women casually. One was extremely smart and witty and I really enjoyed her company but there was just something not quite right.

A girl ended up sending me a message about Black Mirror. I checked out her profile and she was extremely pretty, seemed business focused and..frankly, way out of my league. We chatted a bit through the app and then she gave me her phone number. We texted back and forth constantly. I ended up finding out she was extremely laid back, funny and non judgmental. She called me a few days after we started texting (which no one has ever done to me before) and we ended up sending a bunch of pictures back and forth and talking a lot while she was out of town for work.

She sent me an Instagram picture of herself which had her name. I looked her up and found out she was somewhat of a local celebrity which was very surprising. We talked our way through that and went on our first date. We went to a very chill bar for a drink and then to a comedy club. We just talked and talked very open and honestly on the way back to her apartment. She ended up inviting me up and we both ended up having the best sex of our entire lives.

We've been dating for a bit over two months now and it's been a whirlwind frankly. She hasn't finalized her divorce yet and was planning on just going out and dating a bunch of different men and having a lot of fun. For whatever reason, we just ended up hitting it off and went exclusive almost immediately.

I just came back from spending Christmas weekend at her parents place. She is meeting my family tomorrow.

It's been kind of difficult as her ex cheated on her, lied to her a lot and was very manipulative. It has been hard navigating those waters with her and getting her to trust me. Just yesterday we decided to just stop talking about this deep stuff all the time and just try to enjoy each other's company more. We had a great night where we just stayed in, cooked, walked our dogs downtown, had great sex and watched Black Mirror.

I have a feeling that this may all blow up in my face at some point but frankly, it's been the best relationship I've had in my life I think. We really connect on an emotional, comedic and physical level in really great ways.

I've had my own struggles in the past. I'm 34 and don't think I've ever been in love. I had a bit of a drug addition through my 20s which has left me with some weird emotional problems that I worked through with a therapist.

Anyway, I'm going to keep on doing this and see where it goes. It may work out, it may not but it's always worth trying is something feels right. In my opinion, it's always worth it trying to make yourself vulnerable. Emotions are great, even if you end up hurt at the end.

Thanks for letting me blog : P

 

[RedVladimir]

Would you mind elaborating?


It's kind of late for the "don't date" thing.

Well, I think its self explanatory. Dating or getting into a relationship at the place you work is a delicate game. I've found (and read) that relationships that do work, are when couples work in completely separate departments. It's hard to work with someone and then go home with them, all day every day. When you are at home, you may talk about work, and when you are at work you may talk about home. You know so much about each other in so little time, it feels you've been married for decades when you're not even there yet. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, after all.

So if you don't work directly together, you can make it work. I guess I'm just the kind of guy that doesn't mix business with pleasure. I like to keep my perosnal life separate from my career. If you are one of the few ones that can make it work, then much luck to you. To the uninitiated, however, I would not advise it.

Oh, come on, don't be like that. Lots of people need time to heal after long relationships ending. Some people take months to get over it.

That is naive. No one takes half a year to get over a simple breakup. What takes time is finding the right guy to open yourself up to. In other words, it's not that she needs time to heal, but that she needs time find the guy that both is and isn't what the last guy was.

I know a girl whose husband died in Iraq, and 4 months later got into a relationship with some guy. She said she fell in love. Would you say that's enough? Or you wouldn't? Either way, people love to celebrate the power and irrationality of love, but we somehow impose (or not) these arbitrary statutes of limitations. Who are we to judge? It's all about right person, right place, right time; OP isn't and wasn't in any of them.

So, I can certainly understand if it takes some time to get close to (the right) someone again, but this girl has already had sex with OP. Her "not ready for a relationship" is code for "not ready for a relationship with YOU". She's ready to let him slide his penis into her vagina, but not ready to make it an exclusive thing? Oh boy.

 

[RedVladimir]

Sorry, red. I think you're wrong on this one. She was legit uncomfortable, and she brought it up during the breakup up text that she felt "physically suffocated" which I was towards her on the third date. im not saying I had to be romantic. She wasn't ready after three dates to sleep with me. She texted her roommate to come get her, because I was " physically suffocating her". If she wanted to sleep with me at the end of the third date, she wouldn't have contacted her roommate to bail her out. She didn't want to see me anymore because I didn't push harder to sleep with her.

Yeah, I'm wrong, just like I was wrong in predicting this exactly a few pages back.

You are believing every word she's telling you, while completely ignoring her actions. Wasn't she reciprocating your advances? Wasn't she stroking you hair, chin? Didn't she make out with you on the 2nd date?

I don't understand, what do you people think is the next logical step after kiss session?

You simply confused her with your mixed signals; you were obviously clingy and yes, maybe overtly touchy, the latter wich she reciprocated for the most part because--as evident by the fact she went on 3 dates with you--she was attracted to you; but you also failed to escalate quick enough by taking literally everything she said and not reading the subtext, and by overloading her with a hasty future on a third date with your married friends. And yet, you keep ignoring the fact you found this girl on a looks-based hook-up app. Hell, you probably think she went out with you because of your elaborate Tinder profile and excellent texting game, and not because you are attractive.

It's madness how obvious facts get clouded by your need for closeness.

RedVladimir you sound like an expert. Does this mean you are succesful with women or is it all theoretical? 😉

Yes.

 

[RedVladimir]

If a girl I got along with wanted to kiss me (and I thought she was physically attractive) I would reciprocate. And if she wanted to have sex I would have sex. Cause like I enjoy both those things.

What does "get along" mean? How did you befriend this girl? Did you do so because she was attractive? And if you didn't, why didn't you tell her you found her attractive and initiate the kiss yourself? Why are you masquerading your initial approach as purely platonic? I mean, you can't possible like this girl yet, as you don't know her. All you have to go by is that she's good looking and seems nice.

Doesn't mean I'm gonna go on dates with her and try to make her my girlfriend. Why the fuck would I do that? If I didn't try that shit from the jump then what reason do you possibly think validates that I would wanna do it now?

Who said you have to make her your girlfriend? How old are you?

And you know very well why you wouldn't try from the jump, because you are afraid of putting yourself out there and hurting your ego at the potential rejection. The only reason you lie to yourself you're just being friendly to this attractive girl you never met in your life, is to gauge your level of success in the event you do muster up the courage to ask her out. So you are not being a friend, you're being sneaky. Or a coward, as your example implies you wouldn't even make the move yourself, but reciprocate once she does.

And like I said in my previous post, you can indeed be friends with conventionally attractive women you don't find attractive. Those would be, you know, your real friends.

Because you dont think anyone can separate dick from emotion?

I never said they are not separate. I said there is an order. Dick first, then emotion. You can't feel "feelings" for someone you are not attracted to, a point which I reiterated multiple times in my post, and point this post has still not proven wrong.

 

[stn]

Sorry, red. I think you're wrong on this one.

You need to think this over, man. Here's why. Second date you were making out in front of her house, you brought up you were looking for a relationship. Note that she escalated physical contact and was next to her house. Signals, Jerry - signals!

Then, you met up the third time. This is where the roommate randomly came in. Why would she tell you she was physically suffocated after a kissing session? If she truly felt that way then she would not have initiated in front of her house at all.

She called it "physically suffocating" because she simply did not want to seem like she wanted to have sex with you (even though she did). You pushed a relationship, she didn't. She just wanted to bang you, it was your job to make her feel good about that choice.

You are ignoring her actions and focusing only on what she is telling you. Probably the biggest mistake we guys can make with girls.

 

[War Peaceman]

All told it was about ~40oz of drink, spread across 2.5 hours in the bar, and then about 1.5 -2 hours in a coffee shop reading "The Martian". I won't even hop in my car if my BAC is above 0.04 or I'm feeling any of the effects. This night, it was below 0.02. There's a reason Guinness is my goto beer (as far as respectable beers go, you won't find one with a lower ABV).

I appreciate the concern, but I'm already hyper-paranoid about drunk driving thanks to my family. I still keep a breathalyzer in my car due to my older sister. You see how a real drunk gets, you do whatever you can to keep your own ass in line.

You are a fucking idiot don't drink and drive

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

She felt physically suffocated on our third date. I was just continuing off from our second date when we were intimate with three different m kissing sessions.

It was the third date when she felt confused and suffocated. While waiting for my friends, I scooted the bar stool really close to her. When at the booth with my friends, I was really touchy with her. She wasn't doing the same. Now before and after the we all left, she was arm/ hand holding again leaving and going to my car.

She chose the bar to go to after the friends meetup, the same bar where her roommate showed up, so either she texted him to bail her out with the meetup with my friends, or she contacted him when we were at the bar.

And I didn't mention what I was looking for in a relationship on the third date. That happened after the third date the next day about my intentions and her feeling uncomfortable about trying to sleep with her so soon.

Why would she break it off with me because she felt physically suffocated? I was prepared to sleep with her and told her I wanted to crash at her place, and she was legit shook.

No point in arguing

 

[stn]

She felt physically suffocated on our third date. I was just continuing off from our second date when we were intimate with three different m kissing sessions.

You didn't continue off your second date, you went backwards. Continuing from your second date would have led you into her bed. Also, notice how the roommate appeared on date 3? Unless she called him while there, that means she called him before. That means after date 2. That means she felt physically suffocated after not having sex with you. You're not seeing what's in front of you, man, and I mean that in the most respectful way!

 

[stn]

^ Yup. Besides, how can one feel "physically suffocated" towards someone that made it clear he wanted a relationship? If you (allegedly) don't want sex and yet feel physically suffocated by a relationship, then what's left for a guy and a girl to do?

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

Well, I can kind of see that I guess. I dunno. I have a feeling if I asked to come inside after we kissed in my car in front of her place, she would've declined.

I guess we will never know. I should've asked her to be completely honest what made her feel uncomfortable.

I guess I can see her feeling uncomfortable if my texting after the third date doing damage control and how my intentions wasn't to quickly get in her pants and I'm looking for something real.

But during our dates, she talked about getting older and wanting kids, her eggs, etc. My friend even mentioned during the last date how I wanted kids. Put me in the spot, and in the car she was like, "you felt a little uncomfortable when your friend said you wanted kids!"

 

[ZackieChan]

I feel physically suffocated by this thread lately.

 

[stn]

Talk about kids goes two ways. Its either to see if you truly want kids, or to see if you don't want to hook up. Because it is assumed that a person who wants kids also wants a family. And a person who wants a family wants a... you get the drift. Talk is always just talk.

I feel physically suffocated by this thread lately.

Does this mean you don't want to have sex with all of us?

 

[GK86]

The holidays makes people go crazy.

 

[The Wall]

I come in here to see if I am capable of learning anything. I'm not sure what I'm learning anymore.

The holidays makes people go crazy.

I hid in the bunker.

 

[ZackieChan]

Does this mean you don't want to have sex with all of us?

I might consider teabagging GotDatMoney

 

[bluethree]

Let me break down how I see the situation Jason:

-As would be expected from most people in the above situation, she felt insecure and/or uncomfortable when you rejected her like this.

.

Yes, a lot of girls will get flaky and uncomfortable when you dontmake a move and escalate things. This has happened to me plenty of times over the years.

 

[PFD]

Yes.

Yes it is all theoretical?