Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.

Status
Not open for further replies.
I agree with Vern and I'm older. Since I'm not looking for a wife, I'm not super interested in serious conversations or in talking about Doug (though I could talk about older shit like Fraggle Rock or the first years of MTV).

Also, yeah, don't spend too much on first date. That's why coffee date is preferred. If it's going well, then move on to wine or whatever if you want.
 
Trying to follow the advice given in here to not text so much. Last Thursday I set up a second date for the coming Monday, and haven't texted her since that night when we said goodnight to eachother. Feels weird but I guess it's a good practice, if only for the fact that it detaches me from the situation which can only be healthy. I know for sure that I like her but I've even been told by a girl I dated, after we decided to part ways, that I seemed a bit desperate. Let's see how this goes.
 
Ehh so this girl I haven't seen for a couple of weeks and told me she was too tired last week when I asked her out again shot me a text yesterday asking me how my week went. So i replied saying it was pretty good,etc and ... nothing. Can't make sense of this, why would she text me in the first place then?
 
Kopite said:
Ehh so this girl I haven't seen for a couple of weeks and told me she was too tired last week when I asked her out again shot me a text yesterday asking me how my week went. So i replied saying it was pretty good,etc and ... nothing. Can't make sense of this, why would she text me in the first place then?
Click to expand...

I think maybe she wanted you to ask her out again. Like you saying, "My week went well but I'm actually going to this "thing" on Saturday if you wanted to come with." She was just probably too lazy or nervous to ask you to do something so maybe she was prying for you to have a plan.
 
LUCKY n WILD said:
I think maybe she wanted you to ask her out again. Like you saying, "My week went well but I'm actually going to this "thing" on Saturday if you wanted to come with." She was just probably too lazy or nervous to ask you to do something so maybe she was prying for you to have a plan.
Click to expand...

Right. If she didn't want to reconnect, she wouldn't have sent the message. Maybe she had struck out with other dates that week and was falling back on him. Who knows?

The point is, and this is important in pretty much any conversation you want to have, you answer the question and reflect a question back to them. This keeps conversation going. In this case, it's asking her for a date.
 
The Doug part was a joke. If I'm going to bring up nostalgia it's going to be music.

And yeah, I'm done spending a lot of money on first dates. Going back to getting regular drinks where I spend half or less even less than last night.

She hadn't replied back.heh.
 
can I have advice? is it a good idea to call/email a girl to tell her your feelings before she's about to go spend time with her ex(though she told me they aren't together anymore)?

she sent me an email with her number,we met twice, we talked about relationships and stuff the second time however I couldn't bring myself to tell her how I felt about her, I feel like it's a mistake now, at least even if she get back with him I can say I've tried right?

im not very skilled in relationships like that, sorry if this is confusing, it's way more confusing for me

edit: lol damn you guys quote fast
 
now I feel ready to open up more directly, but she told me she's going to leave for a week: on vacation at her ex's place. (that was before the previous conversation, I asked her and she told me they aren't together anymore, though I have a bad feeling this is going to blow my chances).
Click to expand...

The hell? That's odd to stay at her ex's for a week on vacation to boot? Seems like a red flag.

Oh, and DON"T contact her telling her how you feel. You're right. You'll come off as clingy, and since you two just met, it'll come off as a turn off, and that's another red flag.

I'd move on to the next girl.
 
Kurtofan said:
can I have advice? is it a good idea to call/email a girl to tell her your feelings before she's about to go spend time with her ex(though she told me they aren't together anymore)?

she sent me an email with her number,we met twice, we talked about relationships and stuff the second time however I couldn't bring myself to tell her how I felt about her, I feel like it's a mistake now, at least even if she get back with him I can say I've tried right?
Click to expand...

It is a mistake. You're not doing this because its the right time to tell her, you're doing this to not-so-subtly control her into not "cheating" when she's on vacation. Just wish her a good time on vacation, and demonstrate a level of confidence there.
 
Jason's Ultimatum said:
The Doug part was a joke. If I'm going to bring up nostalgia it's going to be music.

And yeah, I'm done spending a lot of money on first dates. Going back to getting regular drinks where I spend half or less even less than last night.

She hadn't replied back.heh.
Click to expand...

It's a joke but I feel like there is some truth in there somewhere. Again, if the main points of conversation are pop culture or even worse, old pop culture, it's no wonder you guys are striking out and keep coming back here for advice. Dating a girl isn't the same as having a conversation on a message board, there aren't points for making references... Be an interesting person yourself.

Do cool things, have fun stories to share, be a person that a girl wants. As soon as my dates start mentioning 2 Broke Girls or some other show I've never seen and don't give two shits about I will steer the conversation in two ways.

First, "Great, let's go back to my room and watch it! I've never seen it, would love for you to share it with me since you like it so much!" If that doesn't work, though it usually would, then I say "Oh I don't really watch TV, why don't you tell me about xyz instead?" "xyz" can be anything, about her... stories, travels, family, whatever... It shows you are interested in her and not what one dummy on TV said to the other moron.
 
Salamando said:
It is a mistake. You're not doing this because its the right time to tell her, you're doing this to not-so-subtly control her into not "cheating" when she's on vacation. Just wish her a good time on vacation, and demonstrate a level of confidence there.
Click to expand...

you're right I'll just send her an email to wish good travel or something.
 
vern said:
Edit: Regarding the age convo, I'm 31 but I'll date 18-22, doesn't bother me at all. In fact I kind of prefer it. They aren't looking for anything serious at that age usually, and I'm definitely not. So why not? Regarding making references to "Doug" or other cartoons... different strokes I guess but I don't talk about any pop culture shit. Why would anyone care if you make a Rugrats reference? Talk about real stuff. Hobbies, travels, interests, family, friends... you'll have more fun and you can both relate, no matter what age or culture you come from.
Click to expand...

I'm only 23 and I don't even like casually dating any younger than 20, I just feel so different from girls any younger than that. I remember even when I was in undergrad I was a senior and hooked up with a freshman and afterwards I reflected that I still felt she was a bit young and that I most likely wouldn't be interested in doing that again, just felt like completely different places in life even while both in school. Maybe that's extreme but that's my personal preference.

Also, went out last night with this girl and her friends that I had been talking to on tinder to keep getting myself back out there after coming to the conclusion yesterday that that other girl was ghosting me, and I had a great time with her. We ended up at a bar where her ex from 7 years prior was the bartender though, couldn't tell if he was cool with everything but it seemed fine. Also ended up back at her place that night. I don't know if we are ultra compatible on the small amount of things we did talk about but it was enough fun that I think we both definitely want to hang out again.

Also update on the ghosting girl, got this text from her today:

Hey ____
I literally just got back and haven't used my phone in Kenya at all whatsoever. I should've tried to get in touch, I feel like such a bitch for leaving you hanging like this. I have had a hectic time - a lot has happened this Christmas at home and have to deal with this before anything else. I'm so sorry for not replying and hope you're well x
 
Ok, so I think I can get it right next time, but I thought I'd get some advice first because why not? For some background, I'm about to be 22 and I've only took interest in two girls now. Pretty much they didn't work out because I've gone too long in life without ever taking a romantic interest in a person, so I'm still not quite use to it and I just get overly attached and wackiness ensues.

In short, after reflecting on my latest failure a few days ago, I realized I go from my natural self to someone pretty pathetic when it comes to the girl I like. No game whatsoever.

New semester of my junior year is about to start, so I guess new opportunities.
 
Well, I was unmatched with the girl from last nights date. Heh. Oh well. Religion is a tricky situation, and I have a feeling that really took it down when she asked if I was religious and we got into it about morality, lol. Like I said, she was decent, but nothing to sweat over except for the price I paid. Fuck that. Plus, we really had nothing in common except her getting in better shape for her sisters wedding.

On to the next one next Friday!
 
Jason's Ultimatum said:
Well, I was unmatched with the girl from last nights date. Heh. Oh well. Religion is a tricky situation, and I have a feeling that really took it down when she asked if I was religious and we got into it about morality, lol. Like I said, she was decent, but nothing to sweat over except for the price I paid. Fuck that. Plus, we really had nothing in common except her getting in better shape for her sisters wedding.

On to the next one next Friday!
Click to expand...

This is one instance where rejection is a good thing - at least you know it doesn't have to do anything with you personally, it's just a clash of values that's all.
 
bluethree said:
This is one instance where rejection is a good thing - at least you know it doesn't have to do anything with you personally, it's just a clash of values that's all.
Click to expand...

I have a feeling that's what may have caused it. She wasn't being hostile about it. She did after all message me first on tinder. Or maybe she thought I wasn't as attractive as I was in my profile pics.

Eh, I'm all good. She's Catholic, too.

I have people telling me I should be going to church events to meet women. A guy I know contacted me saying they have these young group events, and it'd be good to meet women there. I'm an atheist, so I feel like that's a bad idea?
 
^I got puked on by my date. Ruined my new pants and shoes. We were in Manhattan and she lived out in Queens. She was drunk and I had to find a way to get an address out of her. Eventually got her home even though she gave the driver the wrong address.

Was a good night up until that point.
 
GK86 said:
I have a tinder date tonight. Football and beer date. My kind of girl.
Click to expand...

Awesome. I was also about to have a date simular to this.. NBA in a sports bar. It sounded too giod to be true. She sounded more eager to watch it than me and im a huge basketball fan.. And it did. She pulled out the last minute. Aint even mad.
I know you was wondering what game was that.. it was Clips @ rockets
 
Date went really well tonight, although I should've taken things further.

I fell flat when I should've invited her back to mine. :/ I was just far too nervous to ask her.

We're meeting next week I believe anyway, so it's not too bad.
 
Went to a club tonight for a friend's birthday. I chatted to a hot 30 year old chick and she agreed to dance with me and my group ,lol. Really should have took things further, I feel I was too friendly. Could have asked her if she wanted to go back to hers at some point (if I actually knew how to drive a conversation in a flirty direction, I really fall flat with that still) or at least get her number and kiss her goodnight or something.
 
BravesCountry said:
I'm only 23 and I don't even like casually dating any younger than 20, I just feel so different from girls any younger than that. I remember even when I was in undergrad I was a senior and hooked up with a freshman and afterwards I reflected that I still felt she was a bit young and that I most likely wouldn't be interested in doing that again, just felt like completely different places in life even while both in school. Maybe that's extreme but that's my personal preference.
Click to expand...

Yep, preferences and all that, but if it's just hooking up casually I don'r really see a reason why it matters if you are in "different places in life," all that really matters is if she's hot and good in bed at that point. But it's all good either way. Whatever works for you.

Ape said:
Just signed my divorce papers, yessssss
Click to expand...

Congrats!
 
Date went ok. No physical contact but we both just got out of really rough relationships, it was flirty and no awkward silences. She invited herself on my NYC trip for some reason lol (which I'm cool with if so, she flies for free)

Got lost on the 96 for 20 minutes and she jokingly wanted to kill me.

Going out again in a couple weeks when she has another night off.
 
Jason's Ultimatum said:
I have a feeling that's what may have caused it. She wasn't being hostile about it. She did after all message me first on tinder. Or maybe she thought I wasn't as attractive as I was in my profile pics.

Eh, I'm all good. She's Catholic, too.

I have people telling me I should be going to church events to meet women. A guy I know contacted me saying they have these young group events, and it'd be good to meet women there. I'm an atheist, so I feel like that's a bad idea?
Click to expand...

It... could be, yeah. Everyone there could be marriage and baby minded too- so unless you're willing to try and work out any disparities that could cause, I'd be careful. They might assume your Catholic though so if you get any dates, the "truth" coming out might upset or end anything.

Interface23 said:
Date went ok. No physical contact but we both just got out of really rough relationships, it was flirty and no awkward silences. She invited herself on my NYC trip for some reason lol (which I'm cool with if so, she flies for free)

Got lost on the 96 for 20 minutes and she jokingly wanted to kill me.

Going out again in a couple weeks when she has another night off.
Click to expand...

I can feel the chemistry between you two through your post! :3
 
I mean I want a family, too. I'll be 34 in June, and I don't want to be one of those 60 year old dads whose kids just graduate high school.

But I probably wait until he contacts me again and tell him i worship the spaghetti monster.
 
I wonder how often when something isn't working out for someone here, it's actually the girl trying to put herself back on the dating scene who only after realizes she simply wasn't ready to do so, nor could she explain why to the other party because she's still trying to figure that out herself.

Just sayin', don't be too hard on yourselves and try not to overthink or assume. Some people do not have a lot of emotional intelligence with themselves and can only figure out that they're not in a good place to be dating until after they've been on a few dates or had a few short-terms.
 
Jason's Ultimatum said:
I mean I want a family, too. I'll be 34 in June, and I don't want to be one of those 60 year old dads whose kids just graduate high school.

But I probably wait until he contacts me again and tell him i worship the spaghetti monster.
Click to expand...

I'm 32. Until my last girlfriend -- who told me that I'd be a good dad -- I didn't realize that I wanted a family too. I grew up with a distant, emotionally dead father; I didn't want to pass that on to any sort of family. It took her (and she was a basket case otherwise) to make me realize that I might be good at having a family, and for that, I'll always be forever grateful.
 
I'm working towards my B.A. at 31, and the age gap is pretty wide between me and my classmates. Still feels really weird to realize that most of these cuties are probably no older than 22. Not that I'm morally opposed to dating someone in their early 20s, but I do feel like kind kind of a creeper.

Any girls here go out with a decently older guy?
 
Oblivion said:
I'm working towards my B.A. at 31, and the age gap is pretty wide between me and my classmates. Still feels really weird to realize that most of these cuties are probably no older than 22. Not that I'm morally opposed to dating someone in their early 20s, but I do feel like kind kind of a creeper.

Any girls here go out with a decently older guy?
Click to expand...

Don't date anyone who's 21.

I'm 32, as I just mentioned in my post above, and I've found that my sweet spot (logistically, seriously, and honestly) is 26-30. Learn from my trial and error. You can, of course, make an exception for a 25-year-old who's been working consistently since graduating from college, I think.
 
Oblivion said:
I'm working towards my B.A. at 31, and the age gap is pretty wide between me and my classmates. Still feels really weird to realize that most of these cuties are probably no older than 22. Not that I'm morally opposed to dating someone in their early 20s, but I do feel like kind kind of a creeper.

Any girls here go out with a decently older guy?
Click to expand...

If professors can marry their grad students, I don't see why you can't date your fellow classmates.
 
Advocatus Diaboli said:
Don't date anyone who's 21.

I'm 32, as I just mentioned in my post above, and I've found that my sweet spot (logistically, seriously, and honestly) is 26-30. Learn from my trial and error. You can, of course, make an exception for a 25-year-old who's been working consistently since graduating from college, I think.
Click to expand...

Meh. I've dated anywhere from 20-36 at 37 years old. I see no issue. The spot you're talking about is the "just starting to realize you want a family" sweet spot. That ain't my thing :)
 
ZackieChan said:
Meh. I've dated anywhere from 20-36 at 37 years old. I see no issue. The spot you're talking about is the "just starting to realize you want a family" sweet spot. That ain't my thing :)
Click to expand...

I can't argue with a man holding a puppy.

But, it's not the family thing. I mean, I guess I could date someone who was, say, 23. (I'd never date anyone < 21, just due to the drinking thing. I like drinking.) But yeah: I'm looking for long-term dating. As well as decent conversation. It's gotta be rare that your average 23-year-old can provide the latter, at least.
 
Advocatus Diaboli said:
I can't argue with a man holding a puppy.

But, it's not the family thing. I mean, I guess I could date someone who was, say, 23. (I'd never date anyone < 21, just due to the drinking thing. I like drinking.) But yeah: I'm looking for long-term dating. As well as decent conversation. It's gotta be rare that your average 23-year-old can provide the latter, at least.
Click to expand...

Eh, I've met a few in my travels. But I come to GAF for decent conversation.
 
Advocatus Diaboli said:
Don't date anyone who's 21.

I'm 32, as I just mentioned in my post above, and I've found that my sweet spot (logistically, seriously, and honestly) is 26-30. Learn from my trial and error. You can, of course, make an exception for a 25-year-old who's been working consistently since graduating from college, I think.
Click to expand...

Do you ask for a curriculum vitae or resume be sent to you before a date? :p
 
New to the forum but a long time lurker ill just make this easy bullet format.

1. 27 never been on a date/ made out
2. In very good shape Gym religiously/ play tons of soccer
3. I'm actually very confident person professionally/Socially. I'm an implementation consultant where i have to deal with people and talk and conduct training
4. I would consider myself Decent looking/ dress well (due to work) clean cut ect.
5. I travel alot for work and holiday time i backpack around Europe going to festivals


I've had women hit on me (not often but it has happened) and try and pursue but i get so nervous and start to mentally shut down/ Ignore them. I don't know why i do this i think its due to the fact i have no experience in these kind of situations. any one else have this ?
 
Yo, would it be wrong to send in email "I can't wait to see you again, I have more to tell you"? because it's true.

edit: maybe just "I look forward to see you again"?
 
Jokab said:
Trying to follow the advice given in here to not text so much. Last Thursday I set up a second date for the coming Monday, and haven't texted her since that night when we said goodnight to eachother. Feels weird but I guess it's a good practice, if only for the fact that it detaches me from the situation which can only be healthy. I know for sure that I like her but I've even been told by a girl I dated, after we decided to part ways, that I seemed a bit desperate. Let's see how this goes.
Click to expand...

She hasn't initiated texting since Thursday night. Is this backfiring? Can someone explain to me why this is a good idea? It seems like she'll forget me in the sea of other guys. If we kept up somewhat constant conversation, wouldn't she keep me in her mind more?
 
ZackieChan said:
My advice is date all kinds of guys/girls. Don't let weird little rules stop you from a potentially awesome time.
Click to expand...

I have to agree with this. Even tho a 19 year old and I have very little in common, we both have biological needs. These needs can be sated by each other so why not.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

I've given up on dating
4 5 6 7 8
359
6K
Ozzie666 replied
When Dating Becomes a Checklist: Gen Z’s Approach to Love
2 3
111
480
nush replied
Metals-Age: Gold, Silver, and Hedging Inflation crikey!
2
70
1K
DownLikeBCPowder replied
Robert Redford passed away at the age of 89.
News  2
73
730
CGNoire replied
Can pets tell the age between each other?
11
348
Sticks replied
Top Bottom