Just know if you keep positive you'll always meet someone better for you.
And that's nuts that it all happened within a month's time?
Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
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And that's nuts that it all happened within a month's time?
Kurtofan, we've all been there. You just need time and distance, and focus on yourself (hobbies, gym, friends, family, meeting other people, etc)
Well, to be fair, that's the vibe that post was sending off. Yeah, she's a friend, but you're thinking you don't want to see her if there's no sex involved, but you 'suppose you could', as though that's such a big favor to do to a friend who won't sex you up.
Your response pretending to take the higher road isn't helping. Saying you won't stoop down to someone else's level with insults doesn't count when you're stooping down to their level by including the insult anyway in the same post
Double-agree on the surprise sushi
Well, to be fair, that's the vibe that post was sending off. Yeah, she's a friend, but you're thinking you don't want to see her if there's no sex involved, but you 'suppose you could', as though that's such a big favor to do to a friend who won't sex you up.
Your response pretending to take the higher road isn't helping. Saying you won't stoop down to someone else's level with insults doesn't count when you're stooping down to their level by including the insult anyway in the same post
Yup. If you're ambivalent and think it might go either way, just give it another shot, unless you're too busy or have too many other prospects.
Double-agree on the surprise sushi
Do you actually want to see this girl? You don't need to constantly entertain her via text, but at least use texting to set out the next date with her if you actually want to see her. I see that's being done thanks to her initiative, but in the future you should Make the move.
User 479360
Banned
Yes, I do.
I was texting the most before, and had asked her if she wanted to go on a third date. I set something up with her before her trip, but she felt under the weather and cancelled, apologizing for having to do that and saying we should do something the next (last) week.
I didn't bug her much this week, because she was getting back into the thick of things after missing a day of work and going on vacation, and had issues with a family member. It wasn't really my business, but I tried to be there when she wanted to vent.
I've spent most of the week on the couch, tired and without energy.
Yup. If you're ambivalent and think it might go either way, just give it another shot, unless you're too busy or have too many other prospects.
Double-agree on the surprise sushi
Now I'm curious where all this surprise sushi is coming from.
It's from The Ballad of Jason's Ultimatum. It was weird. He wanted to take her out to dinner to a specific sushi place, but because of her schedule it kept getting pushed off. And he was incredibly clingy about it, judging from the details posted.
Oooh, out of the loop on that one.
Date was short, and whilst I thought it went ok (not fantastic though), she's now essentially ghosting me.
I'm not majorly upset, but it's still a bummer.
My friend seems to think I come across as too cute/innocent, which seems to attract some girls initially, but without me being forward enough doesn't equate to anything.
I probably worry too much about what the other person is thinking, and truthfully not enough about how I feel.
I'm happy with the progress I've made these past few months, I just need to open up more and be more forward with my intentions.
flatearthpandas
Member
I was approached by this really stunning girl Saturday night who I was apparently supposed to recognize from the bar she works at. Circumstances prevented me from following up beyond admitting I didn't recognize her but thinking of trying to say what's up at the bar this week. I'm not sure which location she works at out of five within walking distance so I'll probably just choose one and spin my wheels for a few days but I suppose this is what passes for excitement after I've spent the last six months or so pretty indifferent to dating after a long term relationship was amicably dissolved. Not sure why I'm posting it here. Maybe worried that the emotional thaw and being out of the dating game for so long might lead to strange behavior that I don't necessarily realize.
Weird situation yesterday. Going on 1,5 months with the girl, we're practically exclusive even though we haven't put words on it, restaurant date tonight too.
Anyway, I was out yesterday with a few friends and ended up at a club. Almost right away I see an old Tinder date walk by with some friends. Backstory: went on one date with her, didn't really feel it (and I told her that) but we kept talking on snapchat almost daily for like a month (or even two I guess...) and it was somtimes flirty but we never saw eachother because of reasons I'm not even sure of. Then in January I started seeing this current girl and as things progressed with her I got more distant with the other girl and we eventually stopped talking about two weeks ago.
Well, I see her at the club and go up to her and (fueled by alcohol, not an excuse but an explanation) we're like hiiiiiii can't believe you're here etc etc and we spend pretty much the whole night together on the dancefloor. I'm slightly touchy but on purpose not sexual at all. I did get a strong vibe that she wanted me to, but I never went for anything. My friends eventually leave and at the end I get night food with her and her two friends, and we part with a hug.
So I guess my question is: am I leading this girl on? Was it wrong to spend so much time with her at the club when we've been flirty in the past and then not act on anything? I'm way more interested in the girl I'm dating so it's not going to happen with the club girl at least right now. The reason I'm asking these questions is that I'm completely new to being in a relationship (which I sort of am, again unofficially) so I'm not always sure how to act.
Anyway, I was out yesterday with a few friends and ended up at a club. Almost right away I see an old Tinder date walk by with some friends. Backstory: went on one date with her, didn't really feel it (and I told her that) but we kept talking on snapchat almost daily for like a month (or even two I guess...) and it was somtimes flirty but we never saw eachother because of reasons I'm not even sure of. Then in January I started seeing this current girl and as things progressed with her I got more distant with the other girl and we eventually stopped talking about two weeks ago.
Well, I see her at the club and go up to her and (fueled by alcohol, not an excuse but an explanation) we're like hiiiiiii can't believe you're here etc etc and we spend pretty much the whole night together on the dancefloor. I'm slightly touchy but on purpose not sexual at all. I did get a strong vibe that she wanted me to, but I never went for anything. My friends eventually leave and at the end I get night food with her and her two friends, and we part with a hug.
So I guess my question is: am I leading this girl on? Was it wrong to spend so much time with her at the club when we've been flirty in the past and then not act on anything? I'm way more interested in the girl I'm dating so it's not going to happen with the club girl at least right now. The reason I'm asking these questions is that I'm completely new to being in a relationship (which I sort of am, again unofficially) so I'm not always sure how to act.
So I posted a few days ago about my friend inviting my ex to live with us and how it started to get to me (especially once she started sleeping in his bed) and just had another question.
I told her I'm not comfortable with her staying here anymore and she's leaving in the next day or so. She says I'm being overly emotional though and that she's not sure if we can really stay friends. We haven't been a couple since around August or so of last year and she says I should be over it by now. I'm of the opinion that I was mostly over it it was just having to see her every day in addition to the whatever with my friend that pushed me over the edge.
Am I really that crazy for not wanting to live with my ex even though I think I can still stand to be friends with her? Am I wrong to want to keep trying to be friends when there are clearly still some underlying issues between us (or at least from my end)?
I told her I'm not comfortable with her staying here anymore and she's leaving in the next day or so. She says I'm being overly emotional though and that she's not sure if we can really stay friends. We haven't been a couple since around August or so of last year and she says I should be over it by now. I'm of the opinion that I was mostly over it it was just having to see her every day in addition to the whatever with my friend that pushed me over the edge.
Am I really that crazy for not wanting to live with my ex even though I think I can still stand to be friends with her? Am I wrong to want to keep trying to be friends when there are clearly still some underlying issues between us (or at least from my end)?
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Do you text them every day? If it's early on I don't text people I'm dating for a couple days sometimes. I'll text if there's something of interest to say or to set up a next date but I'm not having long conversations over text messages.
Quite frankly it would be better for everyone if you could get over it and all get along. Not everyone can though, if it's unhealthy for you to be seeing her this often it is what it is and acting like you don't care when it's actually eating at you is only going to make it worse.
Just tell her the truth. That you know that it's dumb, you want this situation to work out but that you can't and there's nothing you can do about it. One of you needs to leave, full-stop. Otherwise the entire thing is going to blow up in your faces and the chance of your friendship recovering will go from small to zero.
Bruce Springsteen
Member
Not necessarily every day, but I wouldn't go 2 days without texting , especially early on when nothing is official and she's likely on dates with other guys
I also don't have long conversations
Krauser Kat
Member
took the girl i have been seeing since the 8th of january. Out for valentines.
The place i took her too, i never checked after i made the reservation. Apparently the menu change from a full menu to a small 4 course meal. So it was a nice surprise.. too bad it was $85 a plate instead of their usual $2x something a plate which is what i was expecting. The food was really fucking good though.
We got coffee and a donut for more dessert and then went to see a burlesque show. I came out to what is about 300 in parking tickets. I dont think i have ever spent 600 on a single date before. fuck me, i took it all in stride and im not hurting for cash but, i told her ill be cooking for her more, because ill need some time to recoup (i dont really, but it will be good to be frugal for a bit).
The place i took her too, i never checked after i made the reservation. Apparently the menu change from a full menu to a small 4 course meal. So it was a nice surprise.. too bad it was $85 a plate instead of their usual $2x something a plate which is what i was expecting. The food was really fucking good though.
We got coffee and a donut for more dessert and then went to see a burlesque show. I came out to what is about 300 in parking tickets. I dont think i have ever spent 600 on a single date before. fuck me, i took it all in stride and im not hurting for cash but, i told her ill be cooking for her more, because ill need some time to recoup (i dont really, but it will be good to be frugal for a bit).
Lone_Prodigy
Member
It's fine. You were both at a club, kind of knew each other, and hung out. Nothing else happened afterwards.
If she shows interest just say you're not looking for anything right now (with her).
Yeah this is pretty much what I figured but wanted someone else's take on it. Thanks.
Guys, I need some advice.
I was talking to this girl that I knew from high school but she didn't remember me.
We exchanged a few texts, and I thought everything was alright, but on my last one she didn't even saw it. That was two days ago.
I want to interact again, but I don't really know how without seem needy, since she will see my last question if I start talking again.
What should I do?
I was talking to this girl that I knew from high school but she didn't remember me.
We exchanged a few texts, and I thought everything was alright, but on my last one she didn't even saw it. That was two days ago.
I want to interact again, but I don't really know how without seem needy, since she will see my last question if I start talking again.
What should I do?
Bruce Springsteen
Member
So Valentine's Day, Date 4, about as good as I could have hope for. The concert was amazing and scored some awesome tickets so if it doesn't work out between us at the end of the day at least I was able to attend this incredible Nas/Maxwell show. We went to a local bar after the show for a few hours, it was empty and small which was nice. She revealed she was reserved and shy about relationships as it wasn't something she does often, said the longest relationship of her life was 3 months (mine was damn near 3 years). She texted me today and wanted to meet again for daytime tea, first time we will actually meet when it's still light outside. This girl is pretty amazing, don't want to fuck it up
I did, last week actually. Try to research the people hosting the event. The one I went to was organized horribly. Where you were supposed to go after each "date" wasn't laid out clearly, the hostess was terrible at announcing when to switch, at some points there were two guys "dating" one girl, and it took over 2 days to get results back.
I would try again, but definitely not with the same company.
If you're interested in the end result - I matched with one girl. After a real date, I felt no reason to contact her again. No chemistry.
Royal_Phalanx
Member
I'd say one of the biggest issues that I'll face at this post valentines party is that other guys will want to talk to the girl you're talking to and edge you out of the conversation, so I probably will gradually lose her interest if that happens. I want to make sure a repeat of the time when I went on a night out in my old uni town 2 weeks ago, and I got talking to a cute girl on the dance floor, and some other guy came in and started talking to her instead (she seemed kind of into me before that), and therefore pushing me out of the conversation doesn't happen again. Does anyone who's ever met girls at bars/clubs have any advice? My odds should be fantastic given that it's a singles party, but then every other guy will be wanting to meet girls too, so I have a lot of competition.
LOL. So I had a date planned with a girl for Tuesday (we planned it late last week) and I thought everything was good. I held off from talking to her because I figured we'd get to know each other on the actual date, plus I've had bad experiences from talking too much before meeting in person. She just texted me to call it off saying that she usually likes to continue the conversation leading up to the date.
Now, the funny thing? She hasn't once tried to start a conversation with me since we made date plans.
I'm laughing now, but if I didn't have plans throughout the week with other girls I would probably be crying.
Now, the funny thing? She hasn't once tried to start a conversation with me since we made date plans.
I'm laughing now, but if I didn't have plans throughout the week with other girls I would probably be crying.
Bruce Springsteen
Member
If the M/F ratio is on point then your odd should be fantastic
Let it go. She didn't remember you, and hasn't reached out to communicate. She's obviously not interested.
She still likes your attention. The real question is, are you going to allow her to string you along, or are you going to move on?
Wait, was this girl with her boyfriend while you two were together and (if I'm reading it right) having sex?
Bruce Springsteen
Member
that's just her playing you
Miles Quaritch
Member
She's loving the attention you're giving her. Don't become the guy who lingers on, hoping desperately that she might come back one day and seeing signs in every little thing she does.
Let's say we give her the benefit of the doubt and she's not just toying with your emotions, she's still enjoying your attention. Besides, you're a good backup. Or, is she completely oblivious to how being in proximity with someone who's dumped you might hurt?
Regardless of her intentions, the answer is the same. Create some distance and move on.
If you value this friendship more than how it is affecting you, then by all means stay friends. Otherwise, you can still remain 'friends' while limiting contact, and maybe once you get over her you might even be able to be real friends in the future.
Regardless of her intentions, the answer is the same. Create some distance and move on.
If you value this friendship more than how it is affecting you, then by all means stay friends. Otherwise, you can still remain 'friends' while limiting contact, and maybe once you get over her you might even be able to be real friends in the future.
So, after a girl I met in Tinder stopped talking to me out of the blue (making her the third one to do this to me) I went out with a friend last Saturday to watch Deadpool and hung around in a mall afterwards, it was fun.
Then we kissed the fuck out.
Fuck Tinder
, got a date lined up for this weekend with her.
Now, for the drama twist, she's the ex girlfriend of a (now former) friend.
Y'know what? I don't care. I'm not doing this out of spite, they broke up two months ago and pretty badly, I might add.
Just want to be happy and she likes me. I deserve to be a bit selfish right now.
Then we kissed the fuck out.
Fuck Tinder
atm
Now, for the drama twist, she's the ex girlfriend of a (now former) friend.
Y'know what? I don't care. I'm not doing this out of spite, they broke up two months ago and pretty badly, I might add.
Just want to be happy and she likes me. I deserve to be a bit selfish right now.
Sorry to chime in, but she's your ex. You need to be a bit more careful for your own sake.
Gotdatmoney
Member
I wouldn't be so sure.
Thanks man!
I was thinking about doing something dumb, like asking for her whatsapp.
Sounds like a good idea to do that then, thanks!
And at least you got a real date out of it right?
I've been out on five dates with this girl which went well we've have been intimidate since the second one.
After we returned from an amazing 8 hour Valentine's Day date, I tried to initiate sex and was turned down as she said that the sexual chemistry wasn't there yet. I was a bit surprised and she explained it's because she jumped into bed too soon and she feels comfortable having sex when she knows the person better. She assured me that she finds me attractive and wants to see me again but wants to hold off on sex till we know each better. According to her, she had sex three months after dating the last guy.
This has made me a bit insecure as I'm thinking if it's my lovemaking skills. I felt she was a bit reserved in bed but it felt had good lovemaking sessions which lasted about 20 min. We've been intimate three times and I'm wondering why didn't she said anything after the first three times.
GAF what would you suggest? She says she likes me and still wants to see me and hang out but I feel a bit insecure.
After we returned from an amazing 8 hour Valentine's Day date, I tried to initiate sex and was turned down as she said that the sexual chemistry wasn't there yet. I was a bit surprised and she explained it's because she jumped into bed too soon and she feels comfortable having sex when she knows the person better. She assured me that she finds me attractive and wants to see me again but wants to hold off on sex till we know each better. According to her, she had sex three months after dating the last guy.
This has made me a bit insecure as I'm thinking if it's my lovemaking skills. I felt she was a bit reserved in bed but it felt had good lovemaking sessions which lasted about 20 min. We've been intimate three times and I'm wondering why didn't she said anything after the first three times.
GAF what would you suggest? She says she likes me and still wants to see me and hang out but I feel a bit insecure.
wanderingprostheyltite
Member
I'm confused by the wording here, by lovemaking I take it you mean anything but sex? Usually if you're actually "in bed" and someone is saying no to that after three such encounters it seems a bit of a red flag to me. Everybody's different granted, and she may be on the level and being honest about the three month rule, but the question you've gotta ask yourself is is the overall chemistry and dynamic good enough for you to want to pursue this? Is this a ltr seeking type deal between you two? Apologies if you've addressed this elsewhere.
I went on a group ski trip in December with a large group of friends, and I hit it off with this one girl. We hung out the whole week and were kind of flirty. I asked her out on a date at the end of the trip, but she said she'd just started seeing someone.
In January she reached out to say we should get lunch, but I had to turn her down because I was traveling for work. I read her invitation at the time as as a "let's-be-friends" olive branch.
Last week, I saw her at a stoplight party wearing green (i.e., "I'm single"). We got a drink and talked for a few minutes before she left with her girlfriends.
Some of my friends said I should have asked her out again. I disagreed... even though I'm definitely interested in her and we have some chemistry, I felt the ball was in her court. Her earlier rejection ("I'm seeing someone") may just have been a polite lie. They said I was stupid and that since this particular girl isn't the type to ask a guy out, it was up to me to ask her out again.
Who was right? I'm frustrated since I'd moved on after the first rejection, but now I'm being pressured into thinking I should ask her out again.
In January she reached out to say we should get lunch, but I had to turn her down because I was traveling for work. I read her invitation at the time as as a "let's-be-friends" olive branch.
Last week, I saw her at a stoplight party wearing green (i.e., "I'm single"). We got a drink and talked for a few minutes before she left with her girlfriends.
Some of my friends said I should have asked her out again. I disagreed... even though I'm definitely interested in her and we have some chemistry, I felt the ball was in her court. Her earlier rejection ("I'm seeing someone") may just have been a polite lie. They said I was stupid and that since this particular girl isn't the type to ask a guy out, it was up to me to ask her out again.
Who was right? I'm frustrated since I'd moved on after the first rejection, but now I'm being pressured into thinking I should ask her out again.
Sounds like a good idea to do that then, thanks!
And at least you got a real date out of it right?
Yep, got a date! My impetus for going was to try and get better at meeting girls in the real world. I do well enough online, but it's not healthy for it to be the only route for getting dates.
If you want to date her, ask her out. Worst case, she says no and all doubt is removed. December was ~7 weeks ago. It's not unreasonable that she broke up with someone since.
peanutbutterlatte
Member
Your Entertainer
Member
You sound incredibly naive.
My advice - don't associate with someone like this who is obviously using you for attention. It will only cause hurt and anguish in the end. In general, being friends with an ex is usually a bad idea. It makes getting over them much, much harder, and leads to situations like this where you get the feels.
My lovemaking I mean just sex and we still kiss and cuddle, if that's what you are asking. I really do like her and would like to try and patiently see this through. We get long well and were discussing that we spent eight hours together eating and drinking and time went by quickly.
wanderingprostheyltite
Member
Oh I see, had sex, then she pulled the reigns in, got it. Well if things feel good between you two otherwise I say have fun and try not to overthink it re: performance issues.
wanderingprostheyltite
Member
Someone you're still seeing or?
Gotdatmoney
Member
I mean personally, that would turn me off. Once the person gives it up I'm not really sure if I would be willing to wait 3 more months to have it again over w/e arbitrary rule she has but didn't follow in the first place. But if you like her you can keep seeing her and just see what happens. Me, I'd start looking at other girls again.
No, we only saw each other for less than a week. (hence why this isn't healthy)
My brain just won't let go though. I'm slowly forcing it to.
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