Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.

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OCDChewie said:
You're not wrong. I do need to learn how to cook. I've just been lucky and haven't had to, and have avoided it. I deal with fatigue, and cooking hasn't interested me, but I'll need to know how when I move out.

As for #3, that's not a bad idea.

#2: There's one room we could hang out in here, but I don't know if she's ready to meet family. We're not boyfriend/girlfriend. My living situation is very unique, because I have two disabled family members who need lots of care and there are support workers in and out all day.

I also need to be here at certain times to help.
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That's fair enough, and if you need to be there to do things you can't do anything about it. But there are definitely things you can do for free (or cheap) that aren't at your place. Go for a walk somewhere nice (take a picnic if the weather is good). Any museums or galleries? I have no idea where you live so can't help with specifics (but feel free to PM me and I'll happily do some research!).

If she likes to cook, maybe she'll help you? Go shopping for ingredients together then go back to hers and cook together.
 
Llyranor said:
Ask her to teach you a dish and offer to help!

Why do you feel bad? Societal norms?

I'm personally okay with paying for a meal and can afford it, but when a girl feels entitled to it and won't even offer to pay her part after a few dates, it's a red flag for me and I'm not just a sugardaddy. It's the entitlement and wanting to be treated like a princess that would irk me more than having to pay itself. If she's offering, you should really just let her and not feel guilty about it. I doubt you are impressing her by paying, and I doubt that is why she likes you. People who prefer the old-fashioned way will disagree, but those are my thoughts. If a girl offers to pay for me, I won't even raise an objection :D She knows I can afford it.
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Yeah, societal norms. Hopefully she will offer tonight. It'd be nice if she could get the tickets.

I just hope I'll be able to get some sleep before the movie, otherwise I may as well cancel. I've been up all night.
 
Also, cooking for two is waaaay more enjoyable than cooking for yourself. Faster, too!
OCDChewie said:
Yeah, societal norms. Hopefully she will offer tonight. It'd be nice if she could get the tickets.
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At least use electric's plan and propose one of you gets the tickets/the other gets the snacks if you're not going dutch
 
Llyranor said:
Also, cooking for two is waaaay more enjoyable than cooking for yourself. Faster, too!
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Definitely! Plus leftovers for lunch are always a bonus.

I'm really not one for being paid for, it makes me feel uncomfortable, like he expects something in return (maybe I'm too cynical). Turn about or splitting works for me. Even in an LTR I don't like my bf paying for stuff all the time.
 
I don't understand why you're so adamant about paying when you front have much money, Chewie. She's offering, what's the big deal? I personally would get annoyed if my dates wouldn't let me pay for anything. I don't like feeling obligated to someone cuz they paid for my food or whatever.

That's just my personal viewpoint though. Still, there's nothing wrong with the other party paying. If she would really be like "forget it" cuz u didn't pay for a random date then maybe it wasn't meant to be.

Edit: lol me and electric shake on the same wavelength
 
electricshake said:
Definitely! Plus leftovers for lunch are always a bonus.

I'm really not one for being paid for, it makes me feel uncomfortable, like he expects something in return (maybe I'm too cynical). Turn about or splitting works for me. Even in an LTR I don't like my bf paying for stuff all the time.
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Maybe? I'd say you definitely are.

Although I suspect it's not without reason. Does that tend to happen often?
 
If you're that scared of having her pay, you could make it into a game and make dumb playful bets about trivial things and 'loser pays for the next meal' etc, or something.
 
gaiages said:
I don't understand why you're so adamant about paying when you front have much money, Chewie. She's offering, what's the big deal? I personally would get annoyed if my dates wouldn't let me pay for anything. I don't like feeling obligated to someone cuz they paid for my food or whatever.

That's just my personal viewpoint though. Still, there's nothing wrong with the other party paying. If she would really be like "forget it" cuz u didn't pay for a random date then maybe it wasn't meant to be.

Edit: lol me and electric shake on the same wavelength
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Why would you feel obligated though? If someone offers to pay, that's on them. Why does it fall back to you to feel like you're now obligated to them?

I feel like I'm missing or not seeing something important here.
 
electricshake said:
Haha you're right, I definitely am.

Thankfully not personally, but it's definitely not unheard of.
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Thinking about it, I vaguely remember a story about a guy suing a date for the cost of a coffee or something because it didn't go anywhere.

That's probably an extreme example though. Or maybe not.

To me, I always used to pay when I asked. If you ask, you pay. That's pretty much how I used to approach dating. If she insisted we split, we'd split. Splitting didn't happen often, but it's always good to be open to it.
 
I don't know how prevalent it really is, but in certain circles if the guy treats the girl someplace fancy, there is a certain level of expectation or entitlement that she has to put out. I guess that's only if you date douches, though!
 
The fact that people in here can't cook should be a major source of embarrassment (disability reasons exempted). It is so easy particularly with the multitude of resources available on the internet that there really should be no excuse.

Being able to cook for yourself is a necessary skill. I know I wouldn't want to date the kind of person who can't even fucking cook for themselves.


Llyranor said:
I don't know how prevalent it really is, but in certain circles if the guy treats the girl someplace fancy, there is a certain level of expectation or entitlement that she has to put out. I guess that's only if you date douches, though!
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I mean, it is a standard situation (It just came up in Breakfast at Tiffany's, for example) but I think it is becoming (maybe being fanciful here) outdated. I'd feel so uncomfortable in such a situation.
 
electricshake said:
Haha you're right, I definitely am.

Thankfully not personally, but it's definitely not unheard of.
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I don't think you are. There's a lot of male entitlement out there when it comes to dating. I've talked to dudes who said things like "I paid for her dinner and everything and she didn't even give it up" etc. This weird social norm of dude's looking at sex as some sort of reward creeps me the hell out, as a guy myself.
 
Miles Quaritch said:
Why would you feel obligated though? If someone offers to pay, that's on them. Why does it fall back to you to feel like you're now obligated to them?

I feel like I'm missing or not seeing something important here.
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I'm also pretty cynical, that's prolly most of it lol. But I'll try to explain a little better (sorry, I'm on mobile so forgive any weird bits).

When I first date someone, I want to split whatever costs of dates with them, for a variety of reasons. One is that I don't want to be seen as a moocher. The biggest reason though is I don't want to feel I need to do something for them in return. Probably a good amount of that comes from family/friends in my life doing just that to me, and the rest from all the "Nice Guys" in the world. You know the type:
"I'm so nice to her and talk to her all the time, why won't she go out with me?!"
"I bought her a gift, why won't she put out!?! What a bitch"
Stuff like that. I simply do not enjoy being put anywhere near a position like that.

Even in a longer term relationship, we can buy each other gifts and food and whatever randomly, but the split is more or less equal. :) it just isn't explicitly said.

I don't think my viewpoint is shared by all women in the least xD But my point was if she's offering there's no reason to pay all the time. It doesn't make you more of a man in her eyes :3
 
gaiages said:
I'm also pretty cynical, that's prolly most of it lol. But I'll try to explain a little better (sorry, I'm on mobile so forgive any weird bits).

When I first date someone, I want to split whatever costs of dates with them, for a variety of reasons. One is that I don't want to be seen as a moocher. The biggest reason though is I don't want to feel I need to do something for them in return. Probably a good amount of that comes from family/friends in my life doing just that to me, and the rest from all the "Nice Guys" in the world. You know the type:
"I'm so nice to her and talk to her all the time, why won't she go out with me?!"
"I bought her a gift, why won't she put out!?! What a bitch"
Stuff like that. I simply do not enjoy being put anywhere near a position like that.

Even in a longer term relationship, we can buy each other gifts and food and whatever randomly, but the split is more or less equal. :) it just isn't explicitly said.

I don't think my viewpoint is shared by all women in the least xD But my point was if she's offering there's no reason to pay all the time. It doesn't make you more of a man in her eyes :3
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Thanks for the explanation.

Y'know, my girlfriend called me a nice guy a few times when we first started dating, but I've never really had any expectation of receiving something in return. I guess it comes from upbringing and being told you do nice things because you want to see others happy, not for personal gain.

I don't know. I feel there's probably a deeper discussion to be had on this though.

Have to be honest, I always thought that was the standard. I don't want to come across as painfully naive or unworldly, but the idea of being nice to someone so they do something in return is so weird to me.
 
Miles Quaritch said:
Thanks for the explanation.

Y'know, my girlfriend called me a nice guy a few times when we first started dating, but I've never really had any expectation of receiving something in return. I guess it comes from upbringing and being told you do nice things because you want to see others happy, not for personal gain.

I don't know. I feel there's probably a deeper discussion to be had on this though.

Have to be honest, I always thought that was the standard. I don't want to come across as painfully naive or unworldly, but the idea of being nice to someone so they do something in return is so weird to me.
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Some people are just jerks. If you're just starting to date someone, you have no idea where someone rates on the jerk-scale, so many women choose to err on the side of "he's a jerk". It's also why some people ghost instead of breaking things off outright.
 
Salamando said:
Some people are just jerks. If you're just starting to date someone, you have no idea where someone rates on the jerk-scale, so many women choose to err on the side of "he's a jerk". It's also why some people ghost instead of breaking things off outright.
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Yeah, I'm starting to realise that now.

I have to wonder how many of the women I went on dates with thought the same of me now...why is he paying, why is offering to take me there or do this or bring me a flower.

Jesus...this isn't a rabbit hole I wanted go down.
 
Miles Quaritch said:
Yeah, I'm starting to realise that now.

I have to wonder how many of the women I went on dates with thought the same of me now...why is he paying, why is offering to take me there or do this or bring me a flower.

Jesus...this isn't a rabbit hole I wanted go down.
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If they are thinking that, it's important to remember they're not thinking it because of you. They're thinking it because some other schmuck poisoned the well.

Just do you. If someone misinterprets your chivalry as something else, their loss.
 
Llyranor said:
I don't know how prevalent it really is, but in certain circles if the guy treats the girl someplace fancy, there is a certain level of expectation or entitlement that she has to put out. I guess that's only if you date douches, though!
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Personally, high-scale dinner dates at fancy venues have become something that is reserved for more familiar romantic partners. Would I take a girlfriend of a few months out to a fancy place for a specific reason? Absolutely. But from my observation, inviting a girl to something fancy like that on, say, date no.2 or 3 just no longer goes down.
 
Alright guys, I am looking for some outside perspective here. I'm pretty new to this whole dating thing. Kind of scary, but also very exciting. Last year I got out of very long (8 year) relationship. I went on a couple of dates with a girl a few months afterward and wasn't really feeling it (probably because I hadn't completely recovered from the break up). I'm feeling much better now. I am now comfortable with myself being alone and thoughts of the past rarely enter my mind anymore so I have been attempting to meet people.

So here is the situation:

There is a girl at school I have been casually talking to for a couple of weeks. We have know each other for a few months (since last fall), but have been talking with more frequency. She seemed to like me so I asked her out a couple of weeks ago, but our schedules didn't sync. I attempted again this week but same thing. However, she has been texting me more frequently as a result. Now, I read (lurk) here often and know the rule: If she likes you, she will make time. So I am thinking this is pretty much a dead end. A correct assumption?

Now, just last night, me and a couple of friends went downtown for a beer. A girl my friend knew pops up while we were outside starts chatting with us and ends up joining us. To keep it brief, we ended up hanging out after my buddies left and continued to have a few beers. We hung out until 2:00 AM and then went back to her place. I stayed the night and we cuddled and played around, but no sex ("her time of the month" she told me). We exchanged numbers this mornings and I texted her just a general "Had fun last night" text and suggested we do it again sometime. She immediately texts back and suggests Sunday, so I now have a date. Hell yeah!

I really enjoyed hanging with this girl but I have a big concern. She really reminds me a lot of my ex and that obviously didn't work out. I am starting to think I have a "type" that I am just drawn too. I feel like a moth flying into a flame. I can't help it! It is also as if there is this voice in head that is saying, "DANGER! DANGER! ABORT!" but I don't know if this just because I have a very limited experienced at dating. Before my ex, all of my other girlfriends were in high school and I don't really count those as "real relationships." Am just rationalizing reasons to not give this chance? Perhaps to protect myself from any type of pain? Should I just take this a date at a time and see where it goes? I guess it can't hurt, and I feel like I am making some assumptions about this girl; I mean I really don't know this girl that well, so how do I really know what she is like?

Also, I feel like we have great chemistry. We were making contact even before going to her place (holding hands at times, hand on her knee, arm around her, playful touching, etc). And her touch honestly gave me that chilly, electric sensation. This didn't occur with the first girl I briefly dated after the breakup.

One last thing:

You guys would be proud to know I am not an over texter. I honestly sometimes take an hour to respond to anyone since I'm always focused on something, so playing it cool there sort of comes naturally for me. I don't plan on texting this 2nd girl until Sunday to initiate the date.

Sorry for the rant, but some outside perspective would be greatly appreciated. I feel like I am now pretty good at being single and I feel pretty comfortable with relationships in general due to the duration of my last one. But the whole middle ground "dating" thing is totally new to me. Give me your wisdom dating GAF.
 
Silas Lang said:
There is a girl at school I have been casually talking to for a couple of weeks. We have know each other for a few months (since last fall), but have been talking with more frequency. She seemed to like me so I asked her out a couple of weeks ago, but our schedules didn't sync. I attempted again this week but same thing. However, she has been texting me more frequently as a result. Now, I read (lurk) here often and know the rule: If she likes you, she will make time. So I am thinking this is pretty much a dead end. A correct assumption?
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Depends. Did she say she couldn't go out on Day X, and offered alternatives that just didn't work for you, or did she just say she was too busy and couldn't go out at all? There's some hope in the former. In the latter, move on. Texting means nothing without dating.

Silas Lang said:
I really enjoyed hanging with this girl but I have a big concern. She really reminds me a lot of my ex and that obviously didn't work out. I am starting to think I have a "type" that I am just drawn too. I feel like a moth flying into a flame. I can't help it! It is also as if there is this voice in head that is saying, "DANGER! DANGER! ABORT!" but I don't know if this just because I have a very limited experienced at dating. Before my ex, all of my other girlfriends were in high school and I don't really count those as "real relationships." Am just rationalizing reasons to not give this chance? Perhaps to protect myself from any type of pain? Should I just take this a date at a time and see where it goes? I guess it can't hurt, and I feel like I am making some assumptions about this girl; I mean I really don't know this girl that well, so how do I really know what she is like?
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You're overthinking things, and you're aware of it. Take things one date at a time, get to know the girl. After a few dates, you'll learn how this girl differs from your ex, which will put your mind at ease.
 
Silas Lang said:
snip
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Okay, i'll start from the top. I'm gonna work off the assumption that the girl from school you had been casually texting, and the girl you canoodled with last night, aren't the same person. Correct me if i'm wrong there. Sounds like school-chick is someone you'd like to pursue, but she ain't making time for ya, however, she clearly enjoys the attention she is getting from ya, and at least likes knowing that you are romantically interested in her. If she ain't meeting you half-way, cut her out. Why is it fair to you to give her romantic attention, while she doesn't actually make time to entertain the idea or try & explore that with you. Pull away from school-chick. She may notice and decide she needs to put up or shut up to keep you around, so it might end up working in your favor.

Now onto cuddle-chick. So, it sounds like your big reservation is much of her reminds you of your ex. My first question is - was encountering her at the bar with your buddy the first time you met her? If it was, I doubt you've formed a strong enough impression to determine whether or not her personality, likes, interests, & mannerisms are all replicas of your ex. If you mean she physically reminds you of her, then thats one thing. I'm sure she may have a few personality quirks that reminds you of your ex as well, but you need to try & take a closer look at this girl. I say, go on the date with her - spending more time with her is a fool-proof option in determining just how many similarities she shares with your ex or not. In my opinion, I imagine there are more differences than you think, especially once you start looking past the surface level. You've only known her for a day, I doubt you have a fully figured idea of who cuddle-chick is just yet.

I don't know why you & your ex broke up, nor is it relevant necessarily. There may well be mannerisms or hobbies that this new girl has that your ex also had which have become red flags for you. I have those, we all do - we develop them as we date newer people. So I wouldn't necessarily say that you have a 'type' you pursue, unless you're talking about in a physical sense. But be mindful that any similarities you have observed aren't giant red flags for you going forward. For example, I have personally formed a red flag for girls who drink too much, especially on weekdays (i'm talking hangover the next morning, mind you, not a glass of wine with dinner).

I don't see any harm in spending more time with cuddle-chick YET. Go on dates, enjoy yourself, and if you see that the similarities just keep stacking up, then start trying to pull away & keep it casual. Maybe you will get to enjoy a FWB/Cuddle-partner relationship for awhile, and that might be preferable, seeing as how you already have a feeling as to how the relationship may end up.
 
Silas Lang said:
Alright guys, I am looking for some outside perspective here. I'm pretty new to this whole dating thing. Kind of scary, but also very exciting. Last year I got out of very long (8 year) relationship. I went on a couple of dates with a girl a few months afterward and wasn't really feeling it (probably because I hadn't completely recovered from the break up). I'm feeling much better now. I am now comfortable with myself being alone and thoughts of the past rarely enter my mind anymore so I have been attempting to meet people.

So here is the situation:

There is a girl at school I have been casually talking to for a couple of weeks. We have know each other for a few months (since last fall), but have been talking with more frequency. She seemed to like me so I asked her out a couple of weeks ago, but our schedules didn't sync. I attempted again this week but same thing. However, she has been texting me more frequently as a result. Now, I read (lurk) here often and know the rule: If she likes you, she will make time. So I am thinking this is pretty much a dead end. A correct assumption?

Now, just last night, me and a couple of friends went downtown for a beer. A girl my friend knew pops up while we were outside starts chatting with us and ends up joining us. To keep it brief, we ended up hanging out after my buddies left and continued to have a few beers. We hung out until 2:00 AM and then went back to her place. I stayed the night and we cuddled and played around, but no sex ("her time of the month" she told me). We exchanged numbers this mornings and I texted her just a general "Had fun last night" text and suggested we do it again sometime. She immediately texts back and suggests Sunday, so I now have a date. Hell yeah!

I really enjoyed hanging with this girl but I have a big concern. She really reminds me a lot of my ex and that obviously didn't work out. I am starting to think I have a "type" that I am just drawn too. I feel like a moth flying into a flame. I can't help it! It is also as if there is this voice in head that is saying, "DANGER! DANGER! ABORT!" but I don't know if this just because I have a very limited experienced at dating. Before my ex, all of my other girlfriends were in high school and I don't really count those as "real relationships." Am just rationalizing reasons to not give this chance? Perhaps to protect myself from any type of pain? Should I just take this a date at a time and see where it goes? I guess it can't hurt, and I feel like I am making some assumptions about this girl; I mean I really don't know this girl that well, so how do I really know what she is like?

Also, I feel like we have great chemistry. We were making contact even before going to her place (holding hands at times, hand on her knee, arm around her, playful touching, etc). And her touch honestly gave me that chilly, electric sensation. This didn't occur with the first girl I briefly dated after the breakup.

One last thing:

You guys would be proud to know I am not an over texter. I honestly sometimes take an hour to respond to anyone since I'm always focused on something, so playing it cool there sort of comes naturally for me. I don't plan on texting this 2nd girl until Sunday to initiate the date.

Sorry for the rant, but some outside perspective would be greatly appreciated. I feel like I am now pretty good at being single and I feel pretty comfortable with relationships in general due to the duration of my last one. But the whole middle ground "dating" thing is totally new to me. Give me your wisdom dating GAF.
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1st girl: "Let me know when you're free and we can set something up/go out/plan something." Puts the ball in her court, if she is interested, she WILL come back with something.

2nd girl: Why exactly does she remind you of your ex? You've been out with her one time, compared to being with your ex for 8 years. You actually have no idea who this new girl is. Go out with her again, progress things if you like her. Take it day by day. If later on you decide that you don't want to be with her because of this or that, then you can break it off. But thinking that already after one night out is jumping the gun, especially if you guys really do have chemistry. Give it a chance to breathe.
 
Kurtofan said:
how do you ask a girl out when you don't know her name
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Hi, I'm Kurtofan, what's your name?

Hi, I've been snooping around your trash but couldn't find an old envelope with your name on it. So what is it?

Hi, my midichlorian count is too low to divine your name. What is it?

Hi, I'm doing a petition in support of Gamergate. Can I add your name to it?

Etc
 
I thought about texting her to see if she would mind picking up the tickets, but am kind of scared by it. She's driving 30 minutes to near me for the movie (we met where she calls half-way the last two times, but it was closer to her I believe.)

We'll see what happens.
 
Salamando said:
If they are thinking that, it's important to remember they're not thinking it because of you. They're thinking it because some other schmuck poisoned the well.

Just do you. If someone misinterprets your chivalry as something else, their loss.
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Yeah, I kinda glad my girlfriend didn't see those things through a similar lense. Still, if things don't work out, this will play on my mind when I'm back out there dating.
 
Kurtofan said:
Have you heard of "shyness", "anxiety" "lack of confidence", "low self esteem"? i want to do new things but it scares me.

I have no problem asking for someone's name but I'm afraid I won't be able to hide that I'm interested in her.
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How do you think you being interested in her will manifest when you say hello and introduce yourself?
 
Kurtofan said:
Have you heard of "shyness", "anxiety" "lack of confidence", "low self esteem"? i want to do new things but it scares me.

I have no problem asking for someone's name but I'm afraid I won't be able to hide that I'm interested in her.
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So what if you can't hide that you're interested in her? Are you trying to create an elaborate rom-com scenario where you introduce yourself into her life and slowly make her fall for you?

There are two scenarios:
- You talk to her, ask for her name, ask her out. She may or may not turn you down (either way, you have your answer and can move on, instead of spending weeks/months agonizing over it)
- You let your anxieties get the better of you and never ask her.

Sorry I'm being blunt, but those are your two options.
(option 3 is intentionally friendzoning yourself, but why)

So you're shy? Ok, that's fine. I'm shy too. You get over it by practicing (or through a therapist if it's debilitating, but dating-GAF can't help you there)

Gooch: The Destroyer said:
If you don't someone will.
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Good insight, Gooch. I like that.
 
Kurtofan said:
Have you heard of "shyness", "anxiety" "lack of confidence", "low self esteem"? i want to do new things but it scares me.

I have no problem asking for someone's name but I'm afraid I won't be able to hide that I'm interested in her.
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I'm pretty sure she'll know you're interested in her when you ask her out. That is your plan, right?

If you never ask this girl out, this girl will never go out with you. If you fail, if you look stupid, whatever, your odds of success are still infinitely higher than if you never ask. That is the only relevant point.

Shyness, anxiety, low self-confidence, are all ultimately excuses. Potentially valid ones, but excuses nonetheless. You can either embrace them as a reason for your failure, or figure out how to work around them so that you can eventually succeed.
 
If it's a small class, i can see the cause for anxiety, but if you don't even know her name, then it doesn't sound like it's an intimate setting (i know i hesitated for a while on a girl i was crushing on in fall 2014 because our graduate program was fairly intimate, such that a romantic faceplant would get around among people i knew). But if nobody knows each other, ask away.
 
Miles Quaritch said:
Yeah, I kinda glad my girlfriend didn't see those things through a similar lense. Still, if things don't work out, this will play on my mind when I'm back out there dating.
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Both dates I've been on with current girl I have paid. I expected nothing and I'm pretty sure by my demeanor the whole date, and after the first date she knew this. I personally don't mind picking up tabs, especially in different circumstances where I know it shouldn't matter.

It really amazes me that some people think people owe them something just because they paid money for a meal or get together (I remember reading about someone being mad that a date didn't work out and they asked the girl for coffee money or something lol).

I think your demeanor should really set the tone that hey, I'm not expecting you to do anything for me paying for a few beers. I've never given it a second thought really.


Edit: so I've been on two dates now and I'm really enjoying my time with this girl. We have been sharing lots of stories and laughing a lot... its not like those fake half laughs people often give either, it's like full face, cheek flush type laughs that really make me know we are having a good time. Excited to see where this goes...currently have more plans penciled in for tomorrow.

Miles, thanks for giving me some confidence and reassurance a while back...even though I like to see myself as fairly confident, it's always good to have someone backing you up once in a while :P. (And no, I have not met up with my ex yet either...holding strong!)
 
Kurtofan said:
i don't know if im heavitly invested, i just want someone in my life right now and its so rare that i find someone so attractive

she kind of looks like olivia dunham in fringe (is this a good pickup line)

i know it's crazy talk but i want to feel happy again.
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You lack confidence, self-esteem, etc. and yet you want someone in your life to make you happy. A girlfriend is not going to "fix" you, and you're not going to get a girlfriend with the attitude and way of thinking you have right now.
 
Kurtofan said:
i don't know if im heavitly invested, i just want someone in my life right now and its so rare that i find someone so attractive

she kind of looks like olivia dunham in fringe (is this a good pickup line)

i know it's crazy talk but i want to feel happy again.
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No. Don't use a pickup line. Just talk to her like a person, then ask her out. You have something in common (the class), so maybe that's a point of conversation you start with. I wouldn't start with complementing her looks or discussing Fringe.
 
Kurtofan said:
she kind of looks like olivia dunham in fringe (is this a good pickup line)
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That's a horrific pick-up line. And as one just mentioned, talk to her as if she's anyone else.

There's some good advice in the past few pages. Read it and try to apply it to your life.
 
M52B28 said:
That's a horrific pick-up line. And as one just mentioned, talk to her as if she's anyone else.

There's some good advice in the past few pages. Read it and try to apply it to your life.
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Fringe is great though. Bring it up regardless. Mike's pro tip.
 
Kurtofan said:
Have you heard of "shyness", "anxiety" "lack of confidence", "low self esteem"? i want to do new things but it scares me.

I have no problem asking for someone's name but I'm afraid I won't be able to hide that I'm interested in her.
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1. Whats the problem in her knowing you're interested in her? If anything YOU WANT HER TO KNOW. You're not trying to talk to her to be her bestest friend in the whole wide world; you find her attractive for whatever reason, and you'd like to spend some time with her. Its okay for her to know that or think that, because none of her responses will come from a place of ambiguity, necessarily. I'm not saying go up to her & profess your love or whatever, but putting on a nice smile & saying 'Hi, whats your name? Mine is Kurtofan. What are you taking this class for?" is a great way to start.

2. Getting over those initial hang ups - anxiety, shyness, lack of confidence - is something you'll need to sort out in order to better approach girls in the future, or even with her. Sure, a part of her might find some measure of those qualities cute, but you're never gonna know how much that is exactly.
 
OCDChewie said:
I thought about texting her to see if she would mind picking up the tickets, but am kind of scared by it. She's driving 30 minutes to near me for the movie (we met where she calls half-way the last two times, but it was closer to her I believe.)

We'll see what happens.
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Are you friendly with her and can be playful with her or are more intimidated of her and want to impress her? If you're on equal terms, you can do what posters on the last page said about switching paying duties. You do the same with friends, right? I pay for this meal, you pay for the next movie date. You don't have to pay for everything, cause you're past the first date.
 
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