Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
- Thread starter Septimius
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Fuck you.
Seriously, any girl worth dating won't care that you're letting your mother live with you. I'm sure your mom would have no problem staying out of your way while smang
Ha! My hair is definitely thinning and I have a small bald patch forming in the back :'(
As for my mom, she's 55 and has become highly religious in the last few years. She's gone as far as telling me that God was punishing me for having sex before marriage and having children and not being married. Thanks mom!
ZackieChan
Member
Yikes.
Alright I don't think there's like a dedicated relationship questions thread aside from this one so I'll ask here. I've been dating a girl for a little while, hooking up for a year but gf/bf for like half a year. The past month or so we have been fighting about every week for really stupid little shit, and this week it seems to have gotten worse in that we already had three arguments about dumb shit again. To give you an idea she sent me some printscreen of a phone game and I said it looked dumb and then we fought about that. It's awful especially since I feel like that's such a childish argument. I wasn't being serious but she took it seriously and said I'm always negative or dismissive to things she likes. Last time she said I was always too selfish wanting to spend the day with her and my friends when she doesn't like to go out that much. We're both in our 20s before anybody asks but I'm a few years older than her. We never fought this much, especially with this much frequency, it's really dragging everything down and making me want to end things.
Gotdatmoney
Member
I wouldn't live with that.
ZackieChan
Member
Well? Sounds like you were dismissive of something she liked. Just because you weren't "serious" doesn't mean that shit like that doesn't get annoying.
Maybe you guys just aren't meant to be. Do you live together?
Yes I know, which is why I tried to go back and stop the fight from continuing on but she just got completely quiet and refused to try out what I asked her to do, which was to explain how the game worked and how she found it. She thought I was just trying to force it and basically said good night.
No we don't live together.
ZackieChan
Member
You already demonstrated that you thought the game was dumb. You DID force it. She was right.
You're right, though, that the argument is kind of silly, but it's indicative of bigger problems. Maybe you need time apart?
You're right, though, that the argument is kind of silly, but it's indicative of bigger problems. Maybe you need time apart?
Banjo-Kazooie
Member
I've been matching with a lot of people of POF, a lot of them even message me first which usually doesn't happen on Tinder. Why does POF get a bad rap, or isn't mentioned as much as OKC/Tinder?
Psychoward
Banned
Texting a cute girl who seems to be really in to me.... but she's using your 100% of the time and it's bugging me a lot more than it should.
Etrian Oddity
Member
Your being a clown
Psychoward
Banned
Love is worth putting up with a lot of shit, but not that
Sounds like an accomplished troll
I think attending meetups and social groups would be a great way to have fun and get to meet many people. It doesn't necessarily have to be about finding a new date, but that can very easily happen if there's chemistry.
I can't say I've had too much success in school as it feels everyone is either (a) taken or (b) too busy to commit. For the latter, it may just be the type of crew that I run with more than anything.
My friend has been working in retail for about 2.3 years and while it brings in money for him and has allowed him to pay his way through a semester of college, he has moments where it drives him insane partly thanks to working with incompetent co-workers. Retail is one of those environments where once people get in, they seem stuck there forever.
Have you considered volunteering at events/conventions if you live in a decent sized town/city? I always encourage people who are down on their luck and don't have much going on to do that. You never know who you're going to meet.
I started doing that couple of years ago and it did wonders to boost my confidence, met loads of new people who have become like another family to me that I see once every few months in addition to celebrities, and accrued work experience to put on my resume. Getting loads of swag was icing on the cake.
Also as someone who lives with a parent and sibling, there's absolutely no shame in that. Some girls will understand and be willing to overlook it whereas others will really look down upon it. In the end of the day, everyone has bills to pay, basic human functions (eat, drink, sleep, use the bathroom, bathe), and their own personal struggles. If you aren't already doing so, you should see a therapist. It really does help in addition to joining a gym since working out is a good anti-depressant.
TBiddy
Member
I don't even - what does this mean? "using your 100% of the time"?
Miles Quaritch
Member
TBiddy
Member
Ahhh, like that. And yes, poor grammar can be really annoying - unless they aren't native speakers or suffer from dyslexia.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
Hey I'm back 😀
Update on that girl lmao: (Link to original story here.)
I moved on, and then I'm confused again. She plays too many games. 😫
About a month n a half ago I stopped texting her completely.
But funnily enough, the story doesn't quite end there. This past weekend, she text me. "hi". I entertained it, and text back. Against my better judgement. So, she starts going off on like multi page texts about how she's sorry, and told me she was broken up about just coming out of a relationship, that's why she couldn't "give me what I deserved". Saying shit like "I wish I would've met you at a different time, because you're the kind of person I want to be with" Then she said that she wanted to come over. Which caught me off guard because I haven't seen her in like 2 months, and haven't talked to her in a month and a half.. I was hanging out with my bestfriend's girlfriend though, and they don't like eachother for some reason, so that didn't happen..
Needless to say I'm fucking confused again.
But, honestly I'm probably just gonna move on, because I've been talking to someone else anyways.
Update on that girl lmao: (Link to original story here.)
I moved on, and then I'm confused again. She plays too many games. 😫
About a month n a half ago I stopped texting her completely.
But funnily enough, the story doesn't quite end there. This past weekend, she text me. "hi". I entertained it, and text back. Against my better judgement. So, she starts going off on like multi page texts about how she's sorry, and told me she was broken up about just coming out of a relationship, that's why she couldn't "give me what I deserved". Saying shit like "I wish I would've met you at a different time, because you're the kind of person I want to be with" Then she said that she wanted to come over. Which caught me off guard because I haven't seen her in like 2 months, and haven't talked to her in a month and a half.. I was hanging out with my bestfriend's girlfriend though, and they don't like eachother for some reason, so that didn't happen..
Needless to say I'm fucking confused again.
But, honestly I'm probably just gonna move on, because I've been talking to someone else anyways.
TBiddy
Member
You should definitely move on. She's bad company and probably just texting you, because she's alone and needs some attention.
Ask yourself if you really want to date someone who's cancelled five dates with you.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
Kinda, yeah, 😓 but I know that's a bad idea.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
Yeah, I know. I'm prepared for the "told ya sos"
I'm just giving y'all an update, just in case you wanted to know.
TBiddy
Member
We always want what we can't have. Save yourself a lot of agony and pain and start letting her go. It's not worth it.
The odds of her being sick every time you've made plans are astronomical. If she was interested in dating you, it would've happened already. The best you can do is to make some distance between the two of you, show her she can't treat you as she pleases. One of two things will happen:
1. You will drift apart, perhaps occasionally chat about life and stuff
2. She will see you as someone who doesn't take shit from anyone and respect you more
The moment you allow her to control you and your feelings is the moment she loses respect for you.
We have nothing to gain from this failing. It's just that we didn't see it going anywhere. There's still time to move on, don't jump back in there!
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
I've been making distance between us. Month and a half or so strong until this past weekend. I'm not going to text her though.
I won't. 😉
Krauser Kat
Member
the feels. The girl i have been dating for 2 months. i think we are going to end it tonight. She feels she just doesnt have the time with grad school and doesnt want to use me (something people have done in the past). When i just enjoy cooking and cooking more food for people is barely anymore work than my normal life.
She is always the first one to text in the morning and always asks how im doing and what am i working on. She likes me, but is just stressed and overworked.
I think when i see her tonight, ill just be super chill and read a book and let her work on school before we talk and show her that i would also like to just spend time around her and relax a little then be like movies, games, activities all the time.
Just sucks when the coolest person i met out of the 30 people i dated since nov, still really likes me but cant seem to make it work for her time wise without dying in vat of stress.
She is always the first one to text in the morning and always asks how im doing and what am i working on. She likes me, but is just stressed and overworked.
I think when i see her tonight, ill just be super chill and read a book and let her work on school before we talk and show her that i would also like to just spend time around her and relax a little then be like movies, games, activities all the time.
Just sucks when the coolest person i met out of the 30 people i dated since nov, still really likes me but cant seem to make it work for her time wise without dying in vat of stress.
Been in a relationship with my girlfriend for over 2 years. I'm not sure what to do right now.
I'm part of a foodie group with some friends (5 of us). We go to a restaurant or do a high-end potluck once a month. We're all passionate about food. We do invite our SOs every now and then, but they're not part of the group. We're serious about it, and are looking to start a review blog.
My girlfriend has shown nothing but contempt and jealousy with regards to the group. She doesn't like it because she's not a part of it. But then, she's not critical and passionate about food on the same level as we are. I told her about our intentions to start a review blog this morning and all I got was contempt, when I expected her support and encouragement instead.
She was mad this time because we went to a restaurant she really wanted to go to. I knew this, which is why I invited her to come with us. What's more, I suggested we go to the restaurant, just the two of us, before my foodie group went...she declined. It seems to me she rather be jealous and angry than not.
I really don't want to end things, but I can't see a solution to my problem. I want her to understand my side of things, but I feel like she won't be happy until I quit the group.
I really don't know what to do at this point.
I'm part of a foodie group with some friends (5 of us). We go to a restaurant or do a high-end potluck once a month. We're all passionate about food. We do invite our SOs every now and then, but they're not part of the group. We're serious about it, and are looking to start a review blog.
My girlfriend has shown nothing but contempt and jealousy with regards to the group. She doesn't like it because she's not a part of it. But then, she's not critical and passionate about food on the same level as we are. I told her about our intentions to start a review blog this morning and all I got was contempt, when I expected her support and encouragement instead.
She was mad this time because we went to a restaurant she really wanted to go to. I knew this, which is why I invited her to come with us. What's more, I suggested we go to the restaurant, just the two of us, before my foodie group went...she declined. It seems to me she rather be jealous and angry than not.
I really don't want to end things, but I can't see a solution to my problem. I want her to understand my side of things, but I feel like she won't be happy until I quit the group.
I really don't know what to do at this point.
Does she have her own hobbies?
Miles Quaritch
Member
Jesus Christ Ray, you're still on that?
After all this time? The fuck bro?
The fuck...
After all this time? The fuck bro?
The fuck...
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
I stopped! Please believe me. lol
Her primary hobby is fitness/working out, but we mostly do that together.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
IIRC, you're the only one who was condescending and in people's faces about them supposedly being wrong about that girl. And how you couldn't wait to prove everyone wrong because they didn't understand. So...
TBiddy
Member
This is a shitty situation. You have something you're happy about and she feels left out - that's how I understand it, at least.
Do you do something like this with your girlfriend? Perhaps it comes down to that she feels, that the two of you don't have any common hobbies or interests?
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
Oh, no. Definitely wasn't the only one. I was one though. I figured yinz might want to get me back for it. And what I'm saying in the post you quoted is I'm ready for that if you do. lol
It sounds like insecurity. It's a weird thing to be jealous about, especially since she's not a foodie and you've invited her. You've been accommodating and appropriate about this, from what you're saying.
Don't quit the group. If she succeeds, she'll find other ways to control you.
I don't really have good advice for you then besides maybe help her find something she is passionate about like you are with food if it is at all possible.
I had an ex-gf that didn't really have many hobbies besides hanging out with me, so when I pursued my passions and they didn't involve her it often became a problem similar to what you are dealing with. It ended up becoming the main reason for our break up, not to scare you or anything, but she would guilt trip me essentially for choosing to pursue my hobby instead of hanging out with her all the time.
I think it's pretty important in a relationship for you both to have your own interests outside of the relationship, and I for one won't date a girl in the future who doesn't have many outside pursuits and is overly reliant on me for her happiness.
Try to convey to her that just because you have other interests it doesn't mean that you don't love her or that you are choosing those interests over her. Make sure she and you both know that you are a still an individual even though you are also part of a team by being with her. If she can't handle that then you'll have to start thinking about your future and if you would rather give up your passions/hobbies or give up your gf.
ZackieChan
Member
I don't understand why she can't go to the restaurants with your group. Maybe you can help to educate her about the food. I'm sure she'll go once and never want to go again, because to a non-foodie, a group of foodies can be insufferable. But maybe she does enjoy it and wants to learn more?
You're setting it up as something adversarial, when it shouldn't be.
You're setting it up as something adversarial, when it shouldn't be.
But why can't he have his own thing?
So i'm at a pretty tough point in my life with this girl i've been dating, been around seven-eight months now.
Things have been pretty good until recently when we started getting into arguments, they stem from jealousy generally. I had a vacation a couple weeks ago and then she was visiting her family the following weekend. Right after that when we finally got a chance to see each other again she brought up how someone that runs a convention basically said she's staying with her without talking to her. Last time they initially met, I guess the other girl made out with her when she was blitz'd. She said she wasn't gonna do it, but I harped on the blitz'd thing (thought it was a bad excuse) and we started fighting.
It's been a long week for me, because after that was her birthday. We were fine with each other through a good part of the party, but late into it her ex leaned up onto her and whispered something in her ear. I didn't wanna be a dick about it so I walked away from the party, but she noticed and then we started fighting again. I'd just had a lot to drink and got upset, but what really killed it is she started recording this, I guess thinking that showing how dumb it was would make me understand but of course it just made things even worse.
She since apologized, and I thought things were cool. We got lunch with friends following it. The next day, she's saying pretty kind things, indicating we should cuddle / make out and asks what i'm doing for dinner. I go and pick her up, but for whatever terrible reason we start bickering and she's acting distant. The worst part is she was on her phone while we were talking, and soon enough she's got new plans - guess out of town friends are having a going away party and getting food. So I ask, like.. Can I come with? Cause I thought we were gonna make food and chill and she'd stay over. I get told no, and that I shouldn't be inviting myself.
Yesterday especially killed things for me. I had posted a picture of us on Facebook together from the party and she asks me to untag her, apparently we looked drunk and she got crap for it from coworkers cuz she called in sick the day prior. After all this, I just don't know what to do. Say's she loves me but I really don't feel it, and in some way always makes it out to seem like it's me having the issues. I wrote up something overnight cause I couldn't sleep, and I know she's read it but haven't heard anything.
This is all my P.O.V. and sure I do worry, but it's been shitty lately and rather than work on things it's like she's just letting it coast.
Things have been pretty good until recently when we started getting into arguments, they stem from jealousy generally. I had a vacation a couple weeks ago and then she was visiting her family the following weekend. Right after that when we finally got a chance to see each other again she brought up how someone that runs a convention basically said she's staying with her without talking to her. Last time they initially met, I guess the other girl made out with her when she was blitz'd. She said she wasn't gonna do it, but I harped on the blitz'd thing (thought it was a bad excuse) and we started fighting.
It's been a long week for me, because after that was her birthday. We were fine with each other through a good part of the party, but late into it her ex leaned up onto her and whispered something in her ear. I didn't wanna be a dick about it so I walked away from the party, but she noticed and then we started fighting again. I'd just had a lot to drink and got upset, but what really killed it is she started recording this, I guess thinking that showing how dumb it was would make me understand but of course it just made things even worse.
She since apologized, and I thought things were cool. We got lunch with friends following it. The next day, she's saying pretty kind things, indicating we should cuddle / make out and asks what i'm doing for dinner. I go and pick her up, but for whatever terrible reason we start bickering and she's acting distant. The worst part is she was on her phone while we were talking, and soon enough she's got new plans - guess out of town friends are having a going away party and getting food. So I ask, like.. Can I come with? Cause I thought we were gonna make food and chill and she'd stay over. I get told no, and that I shouldn't be inviting myself.
Yesterday especially killed things for me. I had posted a picture of us on Facebook together from the party and she asks me to untag her, apparently we looked drunk and she got crap for it from coworkers cuz she called in sick the day prior. After all this, I just don't know what to do. Say's she loves me but I really don't feel it, and in some way always makes it out to seem like it's me having the issues. I wrote up something overnight cause I couldn't sleep, and I know she's read it but haven't heard anything.
This is all my P.O.V. and sure I do worry, but it's been shitty lately and rather than work on things it's like she's just letting it coast.
If she really did enjoy the other times she had been invited, then surely she would have accepted the invitation to join this time too, which she didn't.
What are the good parts of your relationship?
When things are good we do get along really well, we like each other's jokes and sex has been good for both of us. We were talking about moving in together when my lease is finally up, and usually I feel like we understand each other.
Agree with this. It's perfectly normal (and actually healthy) for couples to have their own separate hobbies/activities. If it was every day or even once a week, then maybe the GF should have cause for concern, but if the GF is having a huge problem with the guy going out to eat with friends for a few hours, it's symptomatic of larger problems, her clinginess/neediness/jealousy being one of them.
TheExodu5, does your GF have her own friends/family that she hangs out with? Or is it a case if she is not with you, then she is alone?
As you say, this is all from your POV so I can't say who's wrong. But regardless of who's right/wrong, the quoted is a massiv red flag. If you don't feel appreciated/valued in the relationship and attempts to rectify/communicate that amount to nothing, you should reevaluate the pertinence of this relationship.
I had to practically beg her to come once. She said she enjoyed herself, and she seemed to...but I guess it was a ruse and she still harbored resentment towards the group.
So she texted me saying "Maybe we need some time apart. We want different things. I want to focus on my stuff and you on yours."
We live together. This may not end well.
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