Don't do shit for other people, especially for the sole purpose of attracting females. You probably do look better, but your self esteem is the same because you set out to change for other people and are still not getting the attention you want. Lifestyle changes like that require you to invest in yourself before other people will. You're not going to get anywhere changing yourself for what you think other people want.
Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
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Don't do shit for other people, especially for the sole purpose of attracting females. You probably do look better, but your self esteem is the same because you set out to change for other people and are still not getting the attention you want. Lifestyle changes like that require you to invest in yourself before other people will. You're not going to get anywhere changing yourself for what you think other people want.
You really don't, but okay.
All of that shit and you are still saying "hopefully" you will have sex? Is that if you don't say the wrong words?
Who gives a fuck about a concert or whatever? Bail out.
Whatever. I'm done.
I saw in the online dating thread that you were with your wife for 15 years since you were 20. Obviously your dating compass is fucked up. You should seek therapy as well. Attracting basket cases and women who like to get beat is not healthy. Your son is not stupid and knows what's going on and you are setting a horrible example for him.
Who gives a fuck about a concert or whatever? Bail out.
Whatever. I'm done.
I saw in the online dating thread that you were with your wife for 15 years since you were 20. Obviously your dating compass is fucked up. You should seek therapy as well. Attracting basket cases and women who like to get beat is not healthy. Your son is not stupid and knows what's going on and you are setting a horrible example for him.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
AHealy reminds me of a guy that used to post here: a single dad dating some crazy girls.
ZackieChan
Member
Hmmmmmmmmm
I'd probably have more luck with someone who was coked out 24/7. Sober dudes wouldn't want anything to do with me.
Nah, that guy went out with the hot Persian woman that he met online. Although his was reserved while AHealy's wanted him to sit on her face... Plus that guy's ex-beau only had 700 instagram followers. Huge differences!
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
After going on another date tonight, I can't help but laugh when I see people in here talk about dying alone or especially the fear of not having dating experience. The amount of women I've met with little to literally no dating experience is staggering. There are just as many women who are clueless as you or even more clueless. There's really no difference in that sense and some of these are women who are getting like hundreds of matches, very good looking women and some of them their longest "relationship" was like 3-4 dates with a guy and maybe they kissed. Maybe there's not much of a point to this post but there shouldn't be the fear others have, most people are just as clueless as you about things and sometimes even more. Also, if the divorce rate doesn't say enough about people with experience also sucking at relationships then I don't know what does. I guess my point is stop worrying about shit, it'll either work or it won't.
I wish I could remember the name because I swear it's nearly word for word.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Derived from #SMH, I think it was SPMH. Or something like that.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Ha, that name does sound familiar. I think you're right. :lol
ZackieChan
Member
Nearly every woman I've dated around the world has had like one boyfriend, years earlier, and most haven't had any since me. Kind of amazing.
Bros - get out there.
seriously, I'm far from anything special and I have more matches and dates than I know what to do with these days. Also I had a date with this Chinese girl last week who only had like 2 boyfriends in her 20s, lol.
This has probably been answered earlier in the thread but I cbf looking for it. What's apparently so wrong with you?
My first girlfriend was massively pro-hookup, anti-relationship until she fell for me. My second girlfriend had a brief fling with her high-school bestie that didn't work out. The discrepancies between how long it takes for people to find a new relationship can be pretty wild for both sexes it seems.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Naw. I dunno, you prob just have to try and be more social. My personal life is instantly more stagnant if I dont make real efforts to go do things and try and meet people through friends. What interests do you have. Games, sports, music (listening or playing)? I would suggest just trying to pursue one of those and use it to meet new people. Or if you have a few friends try and meet other people through them. Go to a bar and talk to people.
Its mostly just putting yourself out there. You gotta jump on me being in Van city. I live in a small town so I have to travel if I want a social life. You shouldn't do the forever alone thing either. You seem nice, it will eventually fall in place. I have a friend who is also sure he wont ever find someone. If you are a nice person and you try to be social you'll eventually find someone. I'm sure of it.
TBiddy
Member
Don't ever let anyone tell you what you can't do! Go buy a size S and post a picture of it. I'm sure you'll look beautiful. And perhaps a bit dorky. But beautiful!
Miles Quaritch
Member
34 is a medium size at the very least.
ZackieChan
Member
Yeah, my bone structure doesn't allow anything lower than an L. MAYBE an M on a good day. I need to shape my rib cage with Under Armour shirts like Huelen, I guess.
So Gaf, i am a bit at a moment where i have to choose and pursuit one girl among many, and i'm really unsure on what to do:
-The girl i really really like, we slept together a few times two or three months ago, then things got surprisingly cold (still have no idea why), now we've slowly started to reconnect, but she's leaving for Japan to study at the end of the month! On one side it's good, once she leaves i can finally put her behind me, but on the other one i like her, i'm sad things didn't work out and i'm just sad i won't get to see an amazing person anymore.
-Then there is the girl i've been seeing recently.
Came to my home last time and forced me to start watching New Girl and we made out a lot. I guess the chances that the next time she comes i get some are high, but the truth is i'm not that much into her: i mean she's cute and nice and all but i never feel myself with an urge to hear her or to see her, kissing her didn't made me go crazy (aside from an obvious physical reaction) and when she tried to subtely make me ask her to stay and sleep the first thing that popped into my mind was "uhmm no". But it's all going so smooth and easy, it's so hard to refuse such a comfy situation, especially since i want to forget the other girl...
-And during this last week while doing an event for my university i've met a girl from my course who is super cute and really funny, we've been out in the same group and i had a great time, but since our work together is over, i need to find a new excuse to hear/see her and nothing good comes up :/
-The girl i really really like, we slept together a few times two or three months ago, then things got surprisingly cold (still have no idea why), now we've slowly started to reconnect, but she's leaving for Japan to study at the end of the month! On one side it's good, once she leaves i can finally put her behind me, but on the other one i like her, i'm sad things didn't work out and i'm just sad i won't get to see an amazing person anymore.
-Then there is the girl i've been seeing recently.
Came to my home last time and forced me to start watching New Girl and we made out a lot. I guess the chances that the next time she comes i get some are high, but the truth is i'm not that much into her: i mean she's cute and nice and all but i never feel myself with an urge to hear her or to see her, kissing her didn't made me go crazy (aside from an obvious physical reaction) and when she tried to subtely make me ask her to stay and sleep the first thing that popped into my mind was "uhmm no". But it's all going so smooth and easy, it's so hard to refuse such a comfy situation, especially since i want to forget the other girl...
-And during this last week while doing an event for my university i've met a girl from my course who is super cute and really funny, we've been out in the same group and i had a great time, but since our work together is over, i need to find a new excuse to hear/see her and nothing good comes up :/
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Yup, pretty similar experiences.
Oh lord, don't model any part of your life after Huelen.
It will be hard to pick up the ladies when you are poor because you bought too many "special" Amiibos.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Wearing a small doesn't really dictate that you are in good shape. I am 6'5", I will never ever comfortably wear a medium. Doesn't really mean anything. Frame is just as important as actual weight.
TBiddy
Member
It doesn't sound like you're in love with any of them, to be honest. Roll with it, get laid and see what happens. Don't be a jerk about it, though, make it clear to whoever you end up with, that this is only sex, if that is how you feel.
No lies detected.
The closest thing to be in love is with the first girl, but i've already come to terms with the fact that she's leaving, i just want to see her to get some kind of closure (because we never talked about it).
The second one is the one i'm going with for the sex, but i'll be honest i've never had to give "this is only sex" talk so i don't even know where to begin.
And the third one it's still nothing, just someone i have an interest in, but still have to make something out of it.
Moff
Member
short advice needed
met this wonderful girl from fetlife and we dated for 2 weeks, this weekend she came over and we had a great night, sunday we had breakfast, went for a walk, made love, made dinner, I took her home, made love, I slept at her place and went to work in the morning.
same thing again monday evening when I went over to her. I really had the impression she was very happy.
then she told me she hoped I could come over again yesterday tuesday evening and I already thought this was too much, we basically just spent 3 days together although we don't know each other very well. but I wasn't really busy so I agreed.
somehow she was suddenly in a bad mood although she sent me hearts and messages on whatsapp all day.
to be frank she was pretty pissed and rude, she told me she just has phases like that when she feels bad and needs some time alone.
she also told me she is depressed sometimes, she is seeing a psychiatrist.
we made dinner and I went home early, she said if I wanted I could sleep over again but it just didn't feel right.
anyway she didn't write a message since I left yesterday (which is unusual, we texted all day for the least 2 weeks) and neither did I and I am not sure how to proceed.
should I just leave her alone for a few days unless she writes something?
I don't want to suffocate her when she needs some time for herself, but at the same time I don't want to ignore her like an asshole when she feels bad.
met this wonderful girl from fetlife and we dated for 2 weeks, this weekend she came over and we had a great night, sunday we had breakfast, went for a walk, made love, made dinner, I took her home, made love, I slept at her place and went to work in the morning.
same thing again monday evening when I went over to her. I really had the impression she was very happy.
then she told me she hoped I could come over again yesterday tuesday evening and I already thought this was too much, we basically just spent 3 days together although we don't know each other very well. but I wasn't really busy so I agreed.
somehow she was suddenly in a bad mood although she sent me hearts and messages on whatsapp all day.
to be frank she was pretty pissed and rude, she told me she just has phases like that when she feels bad and needs some time alone.
she also told me she is depressed sometimes, she is seeing a psychiatrist.
we made dinner and I went home early, she said if I wanted I could sleep over again but it just didn't feel right.
anyway she didn't write a message since I left yesterday (which is unusual, we texted all day for the least 2 weeks) and neither did I and I am not sure how to proceed.
should I just leave her alone for a few days unless she writes something?
I don't want to suffocate her when she needs some time for herself, but at the same time I don't want to ignore her like an asshole when she feels bad.
Lionheart1827
Member
+1 for me. Only exception was my first girlfriend, but she was way too high maintenance and manipulative, thankfully that relationship never lasted.
It sounds -- from her saying she has "phases" and swinging from being happy and doing a lot to doing nothing and being distant/rude -- like she might actually be more on the bipolar side rather than depressed. But anyhow, just leave her be for now. She is already seeing a shrink; there is no reason for you to play at being one as well.
TBH though if she is really getting into depressive episodes like that (where she wants to shut down all contact) she is not in a good place to have a relationship. If you continue on with her, you will have to deal with her running hot and cold, even if she is in therapy/on meds.
Nastrodamous
Member
Well she just texted me saying she cant go tonight and doesnt know when she will be free. Just deleted her info from my phone and what not.
Everything. Personality, appearance, everything. No sane, sober dude would want to be friends with me IRL.
I don't want to be social
Me being at a bar means going to the darkest, most out of the way corner and working myself into anxiety fits. I don't like being around people I don't know in groups of more than like, three. And I will do the forever alone thing. That's the way it should be. Barring some kind of strange miracle, that's what it will and should be. I'm fine with that. It'd just be nice if I could find a platonic guy friend who didn't cringe/bail at the sight of me. It gets tiring.
Anyway, that's my final thoughts on the matter and I'll stop replying again because inevitably people start arguing with me and it derails you guys talking about real dating things and mostly all I like to do is watch normal people go about their dating lives, so...go about.
Moff
Member
thanks for the honest answer, I think I'll just text her tonight and ask how she's feeling. I fear she might think I reject her for being rude or depressed and I don't want that.
SneakersSO
Member
Perfect response to that. Perfect.
SneakersSO
Member
So, i've been gone due to a nasty throat infection i've had (plus, SFV has been eating up my gaming time) so, I need updates. I've sorta taken a break from my dating stuff as I get over this infection (took about two weeks) so I hope to have some stories to satiate the masses once i'm back.
HOWEVER - I have a request. Last I checked in, Bruce Springstein was about to figure out whether or not he & the girl he was dating were gonna go steady. Any update to that? Also, what about that one guy in college who we told to give that girl that he felt he would be a perfect fit for but she 'wasn't ready for a relationship' yet? Any update on that guy?
HOWEVER - I have a request. Last I checked in, Bruce Springstein was about to figure out whether or not he & the girl he was dating were gonna go steady. Any update to that? Also, what about that one guy in college who we told to give that girl that he felt he would be a perfect fit for but she 'wasn't ready for a relationship' yet? Any update on that guy?
Your Entertainer
Member
Everything. Personality, appearance, everything. No sane, sober dude would want to be friends with me IRL.
I don't want to be social
And I will do the forever alone thing. That's the way it should be. Barring some kind of strange miracle, that's what it will and should be. I'm fine with that. It'd just be nice if I could find a platonic guy friend who didn't cringe/bail at the sight of me. It gets tiring.
Anyway, that's my final thoughts on the matter and I'll stop replying again because inevitably people start arguing with me and it derails you guys talking about real dating things and mostly all I like to do is watch normal people go about their dating lives, so...go about.
Do you have female friends? Why do you specify guy friends? And any examples of what people have identified as "wrong" with you? (like situations, how you acted)
Being rude is a good reason to reject someone... Like the other dude said, it's not worth your time to become so invested in someone who doesn't seem like they're ready for a relationship. Don't make it your prerogative to help people like this - she's already getting professional help and it could possibly be a long and rocky road before she can be ready to date.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Everything. Personality, appearance, everything. No sane, sober dude would want to be friends with me IRL.
I don't want to be social
And I will do the forever alone thing. That's the way it should be. Barring some kind of strange miracle, that's what it will and should be. I'm fine with that. It'd just be nice if I could find a platonic guy friend who didn't cringe/bail at the sight of me. It gets tiring.
Anyway, that's my final thoughts on the matter and I'll stop replying again because inevitably people start arguing with me and it derails you guys talking about real dating things and mostly all I like to do is watch normal people go about their dating lives, so...go about.
All I read was, "I want things but dont want to do anything different". That's fine, but if you want a friend and also dont wanna meet new people or be social I dunno what to tell you. Not arguing, just saying this is a road to no where and we all know it. If that's how you wanna roll, w/e, happy days.
Moff
Member
absolutely, but she was super lovely and polite to everyone the past 2 weeks, if she is in a bad mood because of a medical issue I don't feel it's the same thing.
either way, thanks a lot for your advice as well, I will certainly keep that in mind, but I am not gonna dump a girl as soon as I had sex with her because she had a depressed day. she told me she is looking for a relationship, or at least her fetlife profile said so, I guess I am going to find out if she is ready for that. but again, thanks for the answers and I will keep them in mind.
That's why if I say something, it's a final word and I leave, which I will do here
Like I said, I just like watching you normal people go about your normal lives and sometimes I feel like commenting, then I stop.Kind of why I use dating apps, because then it's just meeting new people one on one. I want to meet new people but not in groups/in big social situations.
Anyway, cheers.
Probably her therapy/meds are working to a certain extent, so she feels "normal" enough that she wants to (and thinks she can be) in a relationship. That's a good thing, but the way she immediately turtled into isolation is a big red flag for me. She is having problems dealing with the fact that she is developing feelings for you and is shutting down emotionally.
I wasn't recommending you "dump" her (you've only been dating for 2 weeks, so that isn't a relationship, hence nothing to dump, but anyway...) but just to keep in mind that this sort of "phase" will probably be a recurring part of her life for quite some time and may never go away completely, and you are not going to be the one who fixes everything, no matter how much you care about her.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Apologise to her ass. Bend the knee and beg for its forgiveness. Maybe it'll open up to you and blow you a kiss.
Jesus dude, just forget about it.
ZackieChan
Member
Nothing happened. Stop staring at women. Watch a movie called Roger Dodger - he talks about checking out women without them noticing, iirc. Plus, it's a good flick.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Everyone needs to take note of this post. This is what you do when you encounter a flake or someone just interested in attention.
None of this let's give them another chance. Nope. Two chances should your maximum. After that, delete details and move on.
Krauser Kat
Member
Fuck yeah!
Phone number and date scheduled with hipster Instagram girl.
Phone number and date scheduled with hipster Instagram girl.
ZackieChan
Member
backflip10019
Member
weird twitter is thataway ------>
2 chances is a good standard because sometimes shit does happen. I had someone from Tinder cancel on me recently because of a legit sudden injury (sent me a picture and everything).
Tesseract
Banned
hehehe
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