Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
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Deleted member 594614
Unconfirmed Member
I read all of that post before you editted
Yeah, I thought about it..I was a different person. Being honest and open can sound boisterous.
Id take it all back if I could.
And I disliked the free sites. First and really only girl I sae that was cute profile started like "I have Herpes"
Wtf..she was looking for another person with Herpes or someone who didnt care. I bailed out.
Free sites are great places to find Applebees dates.
sti4thewin
Member
Hmm? Not fast at all I've been in a relationship for 6 months and met all her family and siblings within a couple months. Nothing to worry about..
sti4thewin
Member
Oh god please don't. Class is so easy to make small talk and go from there.
Don't be afraid of having women disqualify you for anything. That is not a bad thing. You should be honest and confident in what you like. It'll weed out girls you wouldn't get along with anyway, and the matches you do get will be stronger. Naturally, don't go overboard, and if you don't want girls to think you spend 80% of your time gaming, mention the things that you do spent 80% of your time doing.
When I said to bring up adventures, I was referring to your pics. Showing is always better than telling. And pics of you attending a county fair > pics of you standing in front of a door.
It's something you'll notice with girls' profiles. Everyone loves to travel and says they can't live without their passport. It's easier to believe it if they have a pic of them in another country.
Yep. Show, don't tell.
Like travelling? Cool travel picture!
"I have a sense of humor." Make the profile funny instead!
Or, if you're really out of luck, edit your profile so that all your interests/values are 100% similar as the profile you're stalking. You can even go one step further and send them a message saying "omg did you just copypaste my profile? How do we have everything in common?!" This will make her fall in love with your personae and think she has actual chemistry with you (little does she know, hehehe..). This is guaranteed backfire-proof, and way easier than 'honesty' and 'being true to yourself' or 'be comfortable in your skin' or whatever other BS people spout nowadays. Word.
What's the matter, your doppledanger technique didn't work out with her? "you have herpes? So do i!!!"
Dr_LucienSanchez
Banned
3-5 dates a month are a lot? Doesn't seem like much at all to me when one is single. Either way, sounds like a ton of effort as opposed to just using Tinder or Bumble.
With the video games stuff, you can't really go half way with it like that. You either mention it as a hobby with your other ones or you just don't mention it at all. Don't treat it differently than any of your other hobbies because it isn't some special snowflake that you need to worry about. It's just a hobby like anything else, unless you make it your life. If someone isn't going to respond to you because you play video games then they aren't really worth your time anyway.
I'm not surprised that the girl from 5 messaged back because like I said, it wasn't that bad of a message to me. The other ones however just came off like you were trying too hard to be funny. There's basically two ways to reliably get responses. You either go the AHealy route where you just spam the same default message to girls without caring or you send messages that include your personality and humor, not something you're trying to be. The default message thing works surprisingly well but it also isn't very personal. If you think you are a funny person and can get that across a message then do that instead of trying to emulate something you saw. Not everyone's humor comes across very well online though so it isn't always that easy to do.
For reference, I'm currently in a great relationship with someone that I met online a while ago but before that I did a whole lot of online dating for a while until I found someone I wanted to commit to.
Honestly your response rate is going to be quite low because of the amount of messages women get. It's just something that you'll have to get used to over time. It sucks because it makes you feel like people don't find you interesting but you just have to realize that women get a ton of messages and they don't have time to respond to everything so it isn't personal.
Mastermind Vade
Banned
Are short replies a good sign? Bad sign? Oh and I have been making friends lately and in friday we're gonna go watch a movie so yeah.
Depends how long your texts are and the context
Do the replies build and move the conversation along, or are they just curt responses to whatever you sent?
If you're asking questions and getting plain answers in return, that is not a good sign.
Mastermind Vade
Banned
Well we were talking about this project she brought up and I made a comment on how the topic she chose was gonna be hard to talk about and then like 2 hours later she responded with "ikr"
Banjo-Kazooie
Member
Starting to think Ahealey is trolling us. What I just read can't be real
Benzychenz
Member
Asking out someone while they're at work? Y/N?
Girl that works at the cafe across the road from me totally has the hots for me.
Short replies can be a very bad sign, but if it's a once off thing she might just be busy.
Girl that works at the cafe across the road from me totally has the hots for me.
Short replies can be a very bad sign, but if it's a once off thing she might just be busy.
Mastermind Vade
Banned
umm I would say no tbh... But out of everybody in this thread I prolly have the least experience but from what I've gathered people here seem to say that asking someone out on a date while they're at work isn't really a good idea and you should really make sure that she likes you and stuff, but I don't really know much seeing how I'm still a kid...
perhaps... But I think she might be in a bad mood, how can you tell if a girl's in a bad mood? Like what would you say to see if she really is in a bad mood?
The go-to advice for asking out people who work in the service industry is to leave a note with your phone number. It helps minimize the awkwardness that comes from them knowing that you know where they work.
Soooo I found out the girl I'm seeing sells stolen gift cards. She gets them from some guy and she sells them to friends and coworkers and stuff. Am I right to be really bothered by this or am I being too uptight? It just feels so wrong and I don't like it. Or maybe I'm making a big deal out of it. Idk.
Benzychenz
Member
Yeah that seems pretty normal.
Might go again on my day off next week and if she still seems into me I'll leave her a note.
But what if a different server clears the table and doesn't give it to her? (eg, a guy she works with that has the hots for her)
I'd consider that a big deal. They're 'just' gift cards, sure, but it does say a bit about her character.
Banjo-Kazooie
Member
Just making sure, a girl I messaged on pof stated she wasn't on there often so to message her on Facebook (probably a red flag as she doesn't care about privacy). I don't use Facebook and messaged her on pof stating as much.
3 days later get an "lol" from her, so I message back lightly commenting how she really doesn't check pof often. All I get back a couple hours later is "omggg".
That's something I really shouldn't pursue righ?
This is a different girl from the second date questions above.
3 days later get an "lol" from her, so I message back lightly commenting how she really doesn't check pof often. All I get back a couple hours later is "omggg".
That's something I really shouldn't pursue righ?
This is a different girl from the second date questions above.
Would you write those kinds of responses to someone you were interested in?
No, but I wouldn't write any response, just confirming my assumption.
Yeah it does say a bit about her which is what bothers me. I don't put myself on some moral high ground but it's just wrong to me.
I did and she just said I was being annoying and that it wasn't a big deal. I'm not super invested her honestly and this is like the second red flag, the first being that she can be really childish.
Being against selling stolen goods is not a particularly high moral ground. I would personally bail, especially if you factor in immaturity.
Yeah, I wouldn't bother replying. Save your time and energy for people who at least make a minimum amount of effort to show interest
Is it expected to continue texting leading up to the first date? A girl on OKCupid agreed to a date this Sunday. In the past I've always kept the conversation going all the way up to a first date because it naturally happened that way with the girls I was talking to. But this girl frankly isn't all that interesting over text. Is going silent for a couple of days before the date a bad idea?
Banjo-Kazooie
Member
What you described sounds very childish and fits that bill. Stealing from others and profiting off of others misery isn't a "big deal"...and YOU are the one being annoying? Sorry man, I know it stinks but thatcwould set me right off. I wouldn't put up with that
Benzychenz
Member
Nooooooo. Leave the talking for the actual date.
Set up a date, then shut up outside of a confirmation text the day of.
Yeah this was pretty much the last straw. Her defense was that she's not the one stealing so it isn't a big deal. I was shocked. Why do I attract the crazies?
ZackieChan
Member
Using Facebook is a red flag? Now I've heard it all in this thread.
She's just not that into you.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Miles Quaritch
Member
Goes some way to explaining the shit he keeps putting himself through though.
Some people create their own problems and now we know Ahealy is one of those people. He seeks out bad relationships through duplicitous/manipulative behaviour and then turns to others for help when the reality of his bad decisions/actions start to become too much for him to deal with...
Miles Quaritch
Member
You don't have to drink to go to bars or clubs.
And how do you know online dating won't work? Admitting defeat before you've even started won't get you anywhere but wallowing in self pity.
I tried tinder for a month never got a single match after swiping on everyone. So its not for me.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Um, you do know online dating doesn't begin and end with Tinder right?
And if you didn't get any matches, maybe there was a problem with your pictures. Take some new ones, we can help if you need feedback on which ones to use.
peanutbutterlatte
Member
1) Sort your pictures, get the advice of an honest friend. I showed my mate the ones I had on POF/OKC and he told me that a lot of them I was pulling a weird face/didn't look great.
2) Sort your profile. Make it a balance of funny/interesting. Try to avoid generic. Pretty girls can get away with generic, guys generally can't
3) Actually actively message girls. It's all very well waiting for Tinder matches or whatever OKC/POF's equivalent is, but you have to do the legwork
Basically if you're not incredibly physically attractive, dating sites take work. But there are so many people out there, and like you I'm not crazy about going to clubs/bars.
I've been using them on and off for about a year and got exactly one date. Which didn't end well. C'est la vi.
2) Sort your profile. Make it a balance of funny/interesting. Try to avoid generic. Pretty girls can get away with generic, guys generally can't
3) Actually actively message girls. It's all very well waiting for Tinder matches or whatever OKC/POF's equivalent is, but you have to do the legwork
Basically if you're not incredibly physically attractive, dating sites take work. But there are so many people out there, and like you I'm not crazy about going to clubs/bars.
I've been using them on and off for about a year and got exactly one date. Which didn't end well. C'est la vi.
Benzychenz
Member
I think I'm attractive but I don't really have any good photos and my phone is like 5 years old.
So all I have is low-res selfies.
I think that's my problem on Tinder.
So all I have is low-res selfies.
I think that's my problem on Tinder.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Webcam? Use the camera on your tablet?
Ask to borrow a friends phone, take the pics and email them to yourself. Lots of way around any roadblocks you might encounter if you're willing to look for solutions.
Benzychenz
Member
Here's a photo I just took: http://i.imgur.com/8tqaJrW.jpg
I just realised another minor problem. My only mirror is in the bathroom. Bathroom selfies look tacky >_>
I just realised another minor problem. My only mirror is in the bathroom. Bathroom selfies look tacky >_>
Selfie sticks are like $15. Barring that, a bottle of Windex is $4. Clean that mirror!
Benzychenz
Member
Hahaha I realised that upon uploading it and seeing it on my computer screen.
I'll clean it before doing a proper tinder photo.
Is a photo like that 'good enough' though?
Jzero
Member
Selfie stick photos automatically make me hide someone, no matter how cool they are.
No get rid of all the towels and stuff. Or go to IKEA and take a photo in one of their rooms with big mirrors hahaha
Benzychenz
Member
Windex'd: http://i.imgur.com/ytAcSlg.jpg
You don't want 'good enough'. You want 'stands out'. By that metric, it isn't sufficient.
If you resign yourself to the mirror-selfie...close the shower curtains, remove the towels draped over the shower rod, try for a light source that doesn't harshly light the right side of your face...and do something to inject some of your personality. Goofy face, clothes that aren't a hoody, photoshop a poptart in place of your phone, have your life-size stand-up of Lenny Kravitz peeking from the shower...
ZackieChan
Member
Maybe take a photo of you somewhere more interesting than your bathroom?
Benzychenz
Member
Like my kitchen?
ZackieChan
Member
I think I may need to unsubscribe from this thread
Benzychenz
Member
<3
But seriously, where can you take a selfie that doesn't look lame? Mirror shots at least let you take a body shot rather than just your face.
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