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[Miles Quaritch]

Had to admit it? Really? She had a gun to your head? Learn to keep things to yourself, you don't need to share every little detail with someone you just met, regardless of how 'deep' the conversation is.

And yes, don't make plans months in advance. You only do that kind of thing when you're months deep into a relationship, not when you're just starting out.

 

[Kiever Sher]

Grats on the seemingly good date! The best part is even if you don't see her again you had a good time and got more experience...that's the dating dream scenario right there

Exactly the way I'm looking at it! She actually did message me today saying we could hang out again before she leaves next Sunday, she's going to LA for a week with her job, but then said ''have a good week'' so I'm guessing this is probably it. But honestly she didn't even have to send that message because she was very upfront and clear that this was just a bit of fun. So definitely looking at it as experience.

Hey, Brother. Two minutes of heaven is better than twenty minutes of hell, am i right?

Hoping to get to a 60 minute broadway one day though Naitch.

Also I've not followed this thread really but I should've been in here long ago, eveyone seems very nice.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

How it feels to not go on a date for 3 months+ then arrange two dates with promising girls for next week

I've got 3 set up for this week. I'm already exhausted thinking about it.

Not gonna lie, I do miss the excitement of going on a new date sometimes. I don't miss the rest of the shit, but that feeling you have as the day of the date comes around, as you're leaving, as you finally meet in person. It's an incredible feeling.

 

[shintoki]

Had to admit it? Really? She had a gun to your head? Learn to keep things to yourself, you don't need to share every little detail with someone you just met, regardless of how 'deep' the conversation is.

And yes, don't make plans months in advance. You only do that kind of thing when you're months deep into a relationship, not when you're just starting out.

Big plans, yes. But seeing if they are interested in a concert or two so in a month or two? That's nothing.

 

[Salamando]

The following day she texts me that she felt like I was moving too fast when I mentioned the concerts months in advance (it was just conversation, I wasn't saying "HEY I WANT YOU HERE WITH ME ON THIS DAY") and we basically call it quits after that. Who's in the wrong here? Me or her? Most of my friends sway towards me but they are my friends.

Did I self sabotage another relationship? Do I always do this shit? That's the last date I've been on, it was April 30th.

Speaking from both sides of this, making plans for outings way in advance, that early, is a good way to scare someone off. It makes the other person think you're far more into the relationship than you are, and they don't want that "commitment" yet.

And man, if there was an easy way to find girls who only want sex, beer, and video games, GAF would be a ghost-town.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

So that date l mentioned last night.

Didn't start off so well cause she was 15 minutes late. We'd only talked a little on PoF and I didn't have her number or anything so I was thinking I'd just have to go home. I was like I missed the FA Cup for nothing. But she did turn up. She was very cool altogether, dressed all in black and a little deaf in one ear from punk concerts, which I thought was cute. She was also Polish which I didn't know.

We drank in a few different bars and ended up dancing at 2am. Well my dancing is just like moving up and down a bit but still. Earlier she'd mentioned fetishes and dark secrets and the like and we were both making excuses to touch each other. Well she didn't make an excuse she just felt me up. So a lot of signs, right? Anyway anytime I've kissed a girl she's had to initiate (I know, I know) but because of all that went before and how close we were getting dancing I bit the bullet and went in for a kiss. She made this disgusted face and pushed me away and kinda spat on the floor. Just kidding! She kissed me back and we made out and groped each other for ages.

Anyway ended up back at her place and had sex. I'm sure it wasn't the best for her but like I lasted over 2 minutes and there were two positions so that's a porn star performance from me. Slept a bit etc before I left at 5:30.

She had the no commitment thing on her profile so I'm guessing I won't hear from her again. But I sent her a message today saying a had a great time and gave her my number. Was a great night altogether.

Is this dating.

Hate to admit this, but the third date with my current girlfriend we were hanging at my house and things escalated as they usually do, we headed up and I was not ready for how hot she looked naked. Like god fucking damn, I didn't even last a minute. Fortunately she was understanding, we did some other stuff and ended up going again later that night, but fuck...that first encounter nearly destroyed me mentally.

We're still going strong, nearly two years.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Big plans, yes. But seeing if they are interested in a concert or two so in a month or two? That's nothing.

It's a lot, especially when you're just starting out. It shows a level of investment the other person might not be happy with so early into the relationship and they might not even plan to be around for that long, so you never do that kind of thing.

One/two week? One week, sure. Two weeks, maybe. At a stretch. One/two months? Big no no that early.

 

[Blitzrules240]

Had to admit it? Really? She had a gun to your head? Learn to keep things to yourself, you don't need to share every little detail with someone you just met, regardless of how 'deep' the conversation is.

And yes, don't make plans months in advance. You only do that kind of thing when you're months deep into a relationship, not when you're just starting out.

I'm an honest person, I probably could have not admitted it but she did ask the last time I was intimate. And yeah, looking back on it, I probably shouldn't have mentioned the concerts in a way that made her think she had to be there.

Big plans, yes. But seeing if they are interested in a concert or two so in a month or two? That's nothing.

That's how I thought about it in the moment. Hell, she was the one who mentioned that her friend wanted to have us over for dinner already...like wtf. We were on our 2nd date.

Speaking from both sides of this, making plans for outings way in advance, that early, is a good way to scare someone off. It makes the other person think you're far more into the relationship than you are, and they don't want that "commitment" yet.

And man, if there was an easy way to find girls who only want sex, beer, and video games, GAF would be a ghost-town.

I always seem to be overcommitted and sometimes I don't even mean to express myself that way. It's not the first time I've scared a girl off mentioning things in advanced. One time, I mentioned halloween to a girl in the middle of september...She got weirded out. Maybe I'm just picking bad topics?

And yeah, I'm kinda pro hook up culture right now but it's been no dice lol. I don't want to be perceived as a manwhore though.

Thanks for the feedback, everyone.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

You can be honest and not spill your guts. Next time someone asks when you were intimate, turn it into a joke and steer the conversation away from actually answering.

Did she tell you the last time she was intimate?

 

[Leeness]

You can be honest and not spill your guts. Next time someone asks when you were intimate, turn it into a joke and steer the conversation away from actually answering.

Did she tell you the last time she was intimate?

Best answer to that question, for me, was "eh, you know".

 

[Blitzrules240]

You can be honest and not spill your guts. Next time someone asks when you were intimate, turn it into a joke and steer the conversation away from actually answering.

Did she tell you the last time she was intimate?

Yeah, she went into detail about her two friends with benefits she had. And then she mentioned a boyfriend during the 2nd date (that was working at some restaurant) and I was like "wait what".

Anyways, thanks for the advice Miles (Philosoraptor) for the next time...

Sometimes I think I say a bit too much.

Online dating is such a crapshoot.

 

[GK86]

Anytime someone has asked me when is the last time I got laid, I say a few months ago. Even if it was just last week.

And I have to agree with Miles, don't try to make plans or make it sound like you are making plans for things a month or two out.

The last woman I dated at the start of the year did that, and I'm thinking in my head, "Can we make through the second date first?"

 

[stn]

Sometimes I think I say a bit too much.

You blew your verbal load, dude. Wayyyy too much info to someone you're not/weren't serious with. Best course of action is to take questions like those and give sarcastic/flirty answers in return. She either got jealous of your 41 year old fling and/or worried that things were going to become serious too fast.

Golden rule is say AND reveal less at the very beginning.

 

[Blitzrules240]

You blew your verbal load, dude. Wayyyy too much info to someone you're not/weren't serious with. Best course of action is to take questions like those and give sarcastic/flirty answers in return. She either got jealous of your 41 year old fling and/or worried that things were going to become serious too fast.

Golden rule is say AND reveal less at the very beginning.

Yeah, I need to learn to be more reserved when I start these things. I overstepped a boundary and I still haven't learned yet.

I need to take a few steps back.

 

[GK86]

Yeah, I need to learn to be more reserved when I start these things. I overstepped a boundary and I still haven't learned yet.

I need to take a few steps back.

Use texting as a way to set dates up. Avoid long conversations.

 

[War Peaceman]

Not gonna lie, I do miss the excitement of going on a new date sometimes. I don't miss the rest of the shit, but that feeling you have as the day of the date comes around, as you're leaving, as you finally meet in person. It's an incredible feeling.

I haven't felt this in a long time... and not because Im in a relationship... perhaps I have high standards?

 

[Blitzrules240]

Use texting as a way to set dates up. Avoid long conversations.

I wish it were that simple but most of the times (in my case) the girl wants to keep the conversation going..thus leading to all the baggage coming out. If you can call it baggage, I suppose.

Also and this is my preference, I hate daily communication with girls I'm talking to (not dating/with) but just the monotonous "What are you doing, "How was your day" shit drained me quickly, so I grimace a smile and text away but man, that is not for me.

I know that's not going to do any favors for me with dating going further but yeah, not so keen on the daily lowdown with the girl I'm seeing. A couple days, sure. Every day, no thanks.

Like I've said, if I was younger I might be more forgiving of this but my mid 20's have turned me into this bitter frustrated man lol.

 

[Flux]

I wish it were that simple but most of the times (in my case) the girl wants to keep the conversation going..thus leading to all the baggage coming out. If you can call it baggage, I suppose.

Also and this is my preference, I hate daily communication with girls I'm talking to (not dating/with) but just the monotonous "What are you doing, "How was your day" shit drained me quickly, so I grimace a smile and text away but man, that is not for me.

I know that's not going to do any favors for me with dating going further but yeah, not so keen on the daily lowdown with the girl I'm seeing. A couple days, sure. Every day, no thanks.

Like I've said, if I was younger I might be more forgiving of this but my mid 20's have turned me into this bitter frustrated man lol.

I see where you're coming from. But if they are the one starting or keeping the conversation active, at least that is a good sign. Small talk is kind of irritating because it feels like it can be a repetitive and predictive loop of "how are you", "not bad thanks, you?" sorts. Maybe try bringing up plan through text? Ask what ideas/future dates interest her? It would move things forward while saving conversation.

 

[vern]

He's full of shit. Here's in a relationship of convenience and necessity now. Watch his YouTube channel for more updates 😂

Yeah watch me! Thanks for the plug Neogafs zackiechan!

https://youtu.be/YiWXqU39h20

Why what's happened?

Driving across China in a tricycle. See that YouTube link above. 🚙🚙🚙

 

[shintoki]

It's a lot, especially when you're just starting out. It shows a level of investment the other person might not be happy with so early into the relationship and they might not even plan to be around for that long, so you never do that kind of thing.

One/two week? One week, sure. Two weeks, maybe. At a stretch. One/two months? Big no no that early.

I don't think saying you're going to a concert next month and if they want to tag along is a big deal. Unless you yourself are phrasing it like a serious commit, rather than just extending the invite like you would do with a friend. More so, if they are talking about it already. I don't see what an issue is with that. "Yeah, me and some friends are going to see blah next month. You're welcome to come if you want". And ending it there. I can see where its a dilemma to some, but literally I view it as just being polite.

 

[Blitzrules240]

I don't think saying you're going to a concert next month and if they want to tag along is a big deal. Unless you yourself are phrasing it like a serious commit, rather than just extending the invite like you would do with a friend. More so, if they are talking about it already.

I honestly thought I was doing no harm, she even started listening to the two bands in question on the ride home but then the next day, she texted me she had a panic attack following our date and that it was a sign and that we needed to end it.

Sometimes I just can't win.

 

[shintoki]

I honestly thought I was doing no harm, she even started listening to the two bands in question on the ride home but then the next day, she texted me she had a panic attack following our date and that it was a sign and that we needed to end it.

Sometimes I just can't win.

I really don't know how you phrased it though. I can see it being something that is easy to mess up too. I did it before in the past with a girl. Tried to move things ahead to quick and she panic. It was my fault. Took it as a lesson which helped me a lot when I was single again after that one. If I had to double take on it, I wouldn't say it. Basically if there is any investment more than just being polite that early on, I wouldn't do it.

And don't think thinks like you can't win. Too close to self pity on it. Just take it as a lesson. Be a bit more reserved on what you share and how you share it.

 

[Pasta_Soup]

Going to chime in and just say once again: be cautious of how much you share with a new date/potential date.

I got this girl's number via Okcupid yesterday. She texts me today wanting to play 20 Questions. I ask her where she'd love to travel/live if she could go anywhere... she then goes into a text monologue about having a beautiful beach cottage where she can gaze at the sunset day after day, to feel more connected with her deceased mother.

And then goes into talking about how she's feeling depressed today, missing her mother and explains in detail without any prompt from me about how she visits her mother's grave annually and has a little private ceremony for herself to help with the grieving.

Extremely heavy shit from someone I haven't even met in person yet. And super off-putting. Pretty sure I'm just going to stop talking to her now, as I'm not really interested in a stranger I have no investment in pushing such personal, emotionally charged stuff onto me.

I realize you didn't go anywhere near this extreme, Blitz, but I thought it was somewhat related.

 

[Blitzrules240]

Going to chime in and just say once again: be cautious of how much you share with a new date/potential date.

I got this girl's number via Okcupid yesterday. She texts me today wanting to play 20 Questions. I ask her where she'd love to travel/live if she could go anywhere... she then goes into a text monologue about having a beautiful beach cottage where she can gaze at the sunset day after day, to feel more connected with her deceased mother.

And then goes into talking about how she's feeling depressed today, missing her mother and explains in detail without any prompt from me about how she visits her mother's grave annually and has a little private ceremony for herself to help with the grieving.

Extremely heavy shit from someone I haven't even met in person yet. And super off-putting. Pretty sure I'm just going to stop talking to her now, as I'm not really interested in a stranger I have no investment in pushing such personal, emotionally charged stuff onto me.

I realize you didn't go anywhere near this extreme, Blitz, but I thought it was somewhat related.

Eh there was this other girl who I talked to a lot that was dealing with depression and a break up and we talked and talked and never met up. I felt bad that we never met up because I felt like we could be friends but it never came to fruition. I'm still friends with her on facebook.

I feel like sometimes people who talk online feel like they either need to put up a barrier or tear it down and they feel completely fine telling a complete stranger. It's weird. It seems like all the girls I've talked to have some sort of disorder and I just felt bad and wished I could helped them but I never did.

So I get where you're coming from.

 

[Blitzrules240]

I really don't know how you phrased it though. I can see it being something that is easy to mess up too. I did it before in the past with a girl. Tried to move things ahead to quick and she panic. It was my fault. Took it as a lesson which helped me a lot when I was single again after that one. If I had to double take on it, I wouldn't say it. Basically if there is any investment more than just being polite that early on, I wouldn't do it.

And don't think thinks like you can't win. Too close to self pity on it. Just take it as a lesson. Be a bit more reserved on what you share and how you share it.

Yeah, I know not to take a defeatist attitude. At least I'm still scoping out my dating profiles daily for anything new. Even sent out some messages with no results but that will happen. I'm picky though, I know who I would be attracted to and who I wouldn't, so only a select few get messages.

I hate to throw in a random quote but Shrink The World by Yellowcard has a great line that resonated with me after I stopped seeing the last girl.

"A lesson learned, speak out of turn, I bite my tongue, it bleeds".

 

[ZackieChan]

She sounds like a nut. She asked you to break up your other relationship after one date, but then freaks out when you mention a concert a few months out. Bullet dodged. On to the next one. Or go back to the older woman!

 

[Blitzrules240]

She sounds like a nut. She asked you to break up your other relationship after one date, but then freaks out when you mention a concert a few months out. Bullet dodged. On to the next one. Or go back to the older woman!

Yeah, I think I'm better off tbh. I kinda do want to hit up the older woman again but it seems counterproductive to growth lol.

 

[Oblivion]

So...I tried out that one dude's stock message gambit in this thread, and out of 11 girls I messaged, 2 have responded, which is a vastly higher rate of response than I've been able to get with my own. Wtf?

 

[ZackieChan]

Yeah, I think I'm better off tbh. I kinda do want to hit up the older woman again but it seems counterproductive to growth lol.

As long as you're still seeking out and dating other women, I don't see the problem. Just don't get complacent with her, if you really want something special with someone your own age.

 

[bluethree]

So...I tried out that one dude's stock message gambit in this thread, and out of 11 girls I messaged, 2 have responded, which is a vastly higher rate of response than I've been able to get with my own. Wtf?

It's absolutely bizarre, on Tinder I've had thoughtful messages go ignored...and then I rematched with the same girl after restarting my account, sent a generic message, and got a reply.

I literally just say "hey" and I don't have a huge problem getting replies...

 

[ZackieChan]

I just say "Hi 😏"

 

[Mobile Suit Gooch]

R.I.P AHealy.

 

[ZackieChan]

R.I.P AHealy.

"Too fast to live, too young to die, bye bye"

 

[Blitzrules240]

Well add Badoo to the sites I've thrown myself on.

When in Rome...

 

[Mobile Suit Gooch]

"Too fast to live, too young to die, bye bye"

Heh. James Dean.


Was Ahealy an alt tho?

Edit: Yes, he was.

 

[ZackieChan]

Heh. James Dean.


Was Ahealy an alt tho?

Edit: Yes, he was.

That's the going theory, anyway.

Good night sweet prince.

 

[Llyranor]

He was SMPH's alt, even if he claimed he wasn't. Too many similarities (even down to writing copy+paste with a +) to just be 'borrowing his technique'.

 

[Mobile Suit Gooch]

That's the going theory, anyway.

Good night sweet prince.

He was SMPH's alt, even if he claimed he wasn't. Too many similarities (even down to writing copy+paste with a +) to just be 'borrowing his technique'.

Well his "technique" didn't work. Better luck next time.

Spoiler

Elsewhere.

 

[GK86]

I just say "Hi 😏"

If I'm lazy, I just send the gif of Joey saying, "How you doin'?"

 

[Denzar]

First world problem rearing it's head again.

Date this Saturday got cancelled. No biggie. Wasn't feeling it anyway. Instead, I went out, drinking with the boys. It was a majestic orgy of all different sorts of alcoholic beverages. I was proper smashed when this girl, who's shown interest in me before and I've been talking to now and then through social media, shows up. Hadn't seen her IRL and she's downright gorgeous. One thing leads to another and we start making out and groping and fondling eachother. Night comes to a close. Her friend, who's also the designated driver, takes her home.

A mutual friend of ours told me that's she's crazy about me now. I'm not really interested except for the physical aspect. She's 20. I'm 28. Seems like this needs to be over, right?

 

[Etrian Oddity]

First world problem rearing it's head again.

Date this Saturday got cancelled. No biggie. Wasn't feeling it anyway. Instead, I went out, drinking with the boys. It was a majestic orgy of all different sorts of alcoholic beverages. I was proper smashed when this girl, who's shown interest in me before and I've been talking to now and then through social media, shows up. Hadn't seen her IRL and she's downright gorgeous. One thing leads to another and we start making out and groping and fondling eachother. Night comes to a close. Her friend, who's also the designated driver, takes her home.

A mutual friend of ours told me that's she's crazy about me now. I'm not really interested except for the physical aspect. She's 20. I'm 28. Seems like this needs to be over, right?

Keep her at distance and on the side for when you need a smang 😎

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

He was SMPH's alt, even if he claimed he wasn't. Too many similarities (even down to writing copy+paste with a +) to just be 'borrowing his technique'.

Also entirely possible that he just had multiple personalities. It would explain a lot of those stories.

 

[Denzar]

Keep her at distance and on the side for when you need a smang ��

I don't know, dude. Knowing she's crazy about me and me just wanting to bang... That's taking advantage, no? I could be honest and see how she reacts, of course.

 

[ZackieChan]

If I'm lazy, I just send the gif of Joey saying, "How you doin'?"

I've had some luck with that cute baby seal gif.

First world problem rearing it's head again.

Date this Saturday got cancelled. No biggie. Wasn't feeling it anyway. Instead, I went out, drinking with the boys. It was a majestic orgy of all different sorts of alcoholic beverages. I was proper smashed when this girl, who's shown interest in me before and I've been talking to now and then through social media, shows up. Hadn't seen her IRL and she's downright gorgeous. One thing leads to another and we start making out and groping and fondling eachother. Night comes to a close. Her friend, who's also the designated driver, takes her home.

A mutual friend of ours told me that's she's crazy about me now. I'm not really interested except for the physical aspect. She's 20. I'm 28. Seems like this needs to be over, right?

Why not give it a chance and see what happens? Maybe my perspective is skewed, because I literally leave the country to escape clinginess...

 

[Denzar]

I've had some luck with that cute baby seal gif.



Why not give it a chance and see what happens? Maybe my perspective is skewed, because I literally leave the country to escape clinginess...

She's not clingy at all, actually... But yes, I do understand. 2 Weeks ago I bolted homeward when someone I had a one night stand with that was clingy... Don't like that either.

 

[ZackieChan]

She's not clingy at all, actually... But yes, I do understand. 2 Weeks ago I bolted homeward when someone I had a one night stand with was clingy... Don't like that either.

You're already imagining the worst outcome in your head over this. Why not just go with the flow, bro?

 

[Denzar]

You're already imagining the worst outcome in your head over this. Why not just go with the flow, bro?

Must mean I'm not ready for that kind of stuff, no?

EDIT: I just want to bang without the commitment.

EDIT 2: I'm scared to death of hurting girls, even though I know it's unavoidable in life. Seeing a therapist for that shit.

 

[Jokab]

Must mean I'm not ready for that kind of stuff, no?

EDIT: I just want to bang without the commitment.

EDIT 2: I'm scared to death of hurting girls, even though I know it's unavoidable in life. Seeing a therapist for that shit.

What people are implying is that you're imagining the worst outcome (hurting her) when you haven't even done anything meaningful with her yet. Meet her, see how it goes. Maybe she just wants to bang as well. Maybe you find out you want more and she does too. You'll never know if you bow out already.

 

[peanutbutterlatte]

Not gonna lie, I do miss the excitement of going on a new date sometimes. I don't miss the rest of the shit, but that feeling you have as the day of the date comes around, as you're leaving, as you finally meet in person. It's an incredible feeling.

I've only went on one internet date and it was pretty weird. We flirted, but girl got really moody when I didn't text her straight away in the morning, then straight up asked if I liked her or not the following day.

Yeaaaaah no.

 

[n64coder]

I'm not going back to the 41 year old (though she was great) and I'm really not into the whole dating bullshit all over again. I guess I really want a FWB around my own age but I've had an uphill battle there. I also wouldn't deny hooking up with an older woman again.

If I were you, I would go back to the 41 year old and resume the fun. You can still look for someone to date or someone your own age but enjoy what you have.