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[sirap]

Not exactly trying to defend the GF, but everybody keeps saying "cheating cheating cheating cheating cheating".

At least to me, a bit of sexting, and full blown fucking, are on two extremely different levels in the cheating hierarchy. As far as we know only the former has taken place.

Two different things, sure, but at its essence it's a serious breach of trust. Even if it was a one time thing and they stay together, OP will have to live his entire life second guessing her actions and wondering if she's talking to other guys.

You wouldn't want to live in a house with a broken foundation.

 

[KingSnake]

I hate how it kinda feels like the girlfriend got away with it. At the end of the day, only the OP will know what she did (and maybe his parents) but she's gonna go on telling her friends she didn't do shit and stuff. Obviously she knows she fucked up otherwise she wouldn't have run away but to everyone else she knows, OP will probably be the asshole that wrongly accused her.

Your calm and collected response borders on passive. You need to stand up for yourself and it feels good to let off steam. Dont bottle it all up. Especially when this person tries to make you the bad guy.

That's the downside of trying to avoid conflict by all costs. Running away from issues will leave some unsolved, but as long as he is fine with this, it doesn't really matter.

 

[E-phonk]

I was supposed to be at a bbq an hour ago, but instead read this thread the last 3 hours.

Good luck op, been in the same boat. It's hard in the beginning but everything will turn out fine. You seem to be a level headed guy.

 

[Bold One]

Well don't feel bad I found a secret cell phone with the screen broken, and downloaded the files to my computer, of my husband getting pounded by random guys (this was before our wedding last August) but I know he has been cheating on me like the whole time.

So good luck to you!

Jesus!!! this thread

you still ahead with the wedding?

 

[FlashbladeGAF]

Of course even that much is very problematic and the OP wanting to end it can still be justifiable. But even the OP admitted there are three sides to every story (including the strong possibility of some inattentiveness and/or communication issues he shares blame for).

Well when the other side locks themselves in the bathroom, pushes the SO out of the way to leave, and doesn't say a friggin' word when they come back to get a few of their things, it certainly doesn't make them look innocent and that everything was a misunderstanding or harmless thing.

 

[MarkMclovin]

Not exactly trying to defend the GF, but everybody keeps saying "cheating cheating cheating cheating cheating".

At least to me, a bit of sexting, and full blown fucking, are on two extremely different levels in the cheating hierarchy. As far as we know only the former has taken place.

Personally I think if my GF wanted to get her mouth around another guys cock, I'd be pretty gutted. It's cheating on the low end of the physical scale, but on the high end of the emotional one.

 

[BioFan]

You have a great attitude OP! I respect that.
I had a similar thing happened about 6 years ago, and you sounded like me! Well no dick pics sent to my ex but I accidentally found out that she was getting too close to another guy behind my back. But I don't think I will handle it as well if I knew some guy were sending her dick pics. So hats off to you sir.

And now I'm happily married with a wonderful and beautiful girl.
And you are a much hotter looking guy than me OP LOL so you'll be fine....

And thanks GAF for the awesome thread! Threads like this made me stay in GAF for years lol

 

[Wads]

It's Essex, I'd imagine it has one of the highest concentrations of WVM per square mile in the world.

Girl is from Essex. He said they live in North London.

OP, time to get off GAF and move your valuables!

 

[TastyBread]

You do realize you just called it cheating as well. There are different forms of cheating. She has broken the trust and he wants out. What else is there? I don't blame him, I would do the same thing. If anything he is being a little too nice in this situation.

I think he's saying that if OP's ex did this after months and months of the relationship going downhill slowly then that may be different to someone doing it for no reason because they're evil. There's no excuse to what she did and the OP does say that the relationship hasn't gone downhill or anything drastic since theyve lived together. But if someone starts to feel trapped in a dead relationship and they feel that they aren't appreciated anymore or whatever they may do crazy shit like this to feel alive again.

well done OCD though, you're handling this like a champ, I live in Manchester and I've known far too many girls like your ex's friend, makes my balls quiver just thinking about them

 

[HolySheep]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHxIssSROjk

 

[Baldwin_the_First]

https://streamable.com/edcz

LOL, that was outstanding. I missed those.

 

[Markoman]

Not exactly trying to defend the GF, but everybody keeps saying "cheating cheating cheating cheating cheating".

At least to me, a bit of sexting, and full blown fucking, are on two extremely different levels in the cheating hierarchy. As far as we know only the former has taken place.

Of course even that much is very problematic and the OP wanting to end it can still be justifiable. But even the OP admitted there are three sides to every story (including the strong possibility of some inattentiveness and/or communication issues he shares blame for).

I think the one 100% safe conclusion here though is definitely that the friend is trash. I don't think there'll be ANY disagreement there, lol.

Maybe that's due to your lack of imagination concerning possible future outcomes: a small crisis > a party with bf not around > menstruation cycle related hornyness + alcohol > ()----8, ()8, ()----8, ()8
How do you build relationships on that basis? Or have we reached the point where relationships have just become a transition period from the get go for everyone?

 

[daveo42]

Glad to hear you got the day off work and are moving your stuff out this afternoon. Your ex's friend sounds like a real piece of work and is doing a good job at making this whole thing that much harder. Good luck getting your stuff out and getting out of your lease dude. I'd take anything you paid for, especially if you want it. Sell off the rest if you have to, but take it now or I'm sure whatever does get left behind will be forfeit.

Personally I'd make sure the OLED goes first.

 

[ty_hot]

it's time someone create a script that only shows the OP posts in the whole thread, would make it easier to read everything faster.

you should pack your personal itens and all stufff that is valuable and that she doesnt care about (tv/ps4/wiiu/...), just to prevent her doing some shit to them. Cant imagine how she would 'revenge' you breaking some cups and plates, but definetely breaking an oled...

 

[Zakalwe]

Girl is from Essex. He said they live in North London.

OP, time to get off GAF and move your valuables!

North London won't be far off.

it's time someone create a script that only shows the OP posts in the whole thread, would make it easier to read everything faster.

you should pack your personal itens and all stufff that is valuable and that she doesnt care about (tv/ps4/wiiu/...), just to prevent her doing some shit to them. Cant imagine how she would 'revenge' you breaking some cups and plates, but definetely breaking an oled...

Profile -> Post history.

Thread Search Function (top right) -> search by exact username.

 

[prag16]

You're not the first person to say this, and the response is that different people have different definitions of what they consider cheating and a dealbreaker. And for OP, this is a dealbreaker. How you feel about doesn't really matter, it's a massive breach of trust for OCD Guy.

You do realize you just called it cheating as well. There are different forms of cheating. She has broken the trust and he wants out. What else is there? I don't blame him, I would do the same thing. If anything he is being a little too nice in this situation.

Cheating or not cheating isn't really the question, it's a breach of trust.

I am sure if the OP's GF found vag pics and him chatting to someone saying he wanted to smash her back doors in, she'd be pissed too.

Two different things, sure, but at its essence it's a serious breach of trust. Even if it was a one time thing and they stay together, OP will have to live his entire life second guessing her actions and wondering if she's talking to other guys.

You wouldn't want to live in a house with a broken foundation.

All four of you seem to have overlooked the "Of course even that much is very problematic and the OP wanting to end it can still be justifiable" part of my post.

Anyway, the point is that this has devolved into a circle jerk in which the (ex)GF is satan spawn (surpassed only by the bitchy friend). Not even the OP believes that based on some of his backstory and concessions he's made more recently in the thread.

 

[Mascot]

it's time someone create a script that only shows the OP posts in the whole thread, would make it easier to read everything faster.

Just click his username and read his post history.

 

[Cikay]

I had a totally unexpected break-up after a one-year relationship, one week ago.

I know the feels, OP. Good luck to you. In a few days it will already be a little better than now.

 

[danowat]

All four of you seem to have overlooked the "Of course even that much is very problematic and the OP wanting to end it can still be justifiable" part of my post.

Anyway, the point is that this has devolved into a circle jerk in which the (ex)GF is satan spawn (surpassed only by the bitchy friend). Not even the OP believes that based on some of his backstory and concessions he's made more recently in the thread.

Either way, the GF actions aren't justifiable, even if the OP is culpable in some way.

 

[Baldwin_the_First]

it's time someone create a script that only shows the OP posts in the whole thread, would make it easier to read everything faster.

you should pack your personal itens and all stufff that is valuable and that she doesnt care about (tv/ps4/wiiu/...), just to prevent her doing some shit to them. Cant imagine how she would 'revenge' you breaking some cups and plates, but definetely breaking an oled...

Search in thread -> advanced search -> username -> type OCD Guy

 

[Mascot]

Either way, the GF actions aren't justifiable, even if the OP is culpable in some way.

I missed this bit. Quick summary?

 

[Ardenyal]

Catching up..

.

I keep trying to find a 12 slot legendary, when maybe I should have been giving her some legendary sex and filling her slots in bed.

Top bants.

 

[prag16]

Either way, the GF actions aren't justifiable, even if the OP is culpable in some way.

Agree. Never said otherwise.

 

[Klocker]

Take whatever you paid for.

This... and frankly I'm stunned... the way she is handling this... you're doing the right thing to get out now. Take the everything you paid for OP and that includes your dog. Make her come round and negotiate if she wants dog back

 

[spindashing]

Well don't feel bad I found a secret cell phone with the screen broken, and downloaded the files to my computer, of my husband getting pounded by random guys (this was before our wedding last August) but I know he has been cheating on me like the whole time.

So good luck to you!

what thee FUCK

 

[Yurikerr]

I hate how it kinda feels like the girlfriend got away with it. At the end of the day, only the OP will know what she did (and maybe his parents) but she's gonna go on telling her friends she didn't do shit and stuff. Obviously she knows she fucked up otherwise she wouldn't have run away but to everyone else she knows, OP will probably be the asshole that wrongly accused her.

But what do you want OP to do? Print the conversations and paste it through the city? Email them to her parents? Shame her to every friend? I'll be extremely childish, that's not how decent people act.

That's what i don't understand, people act like this is a crime that should be harshly punished to no end, why not throw stones at her like they do in some cultures?

She screwed up, he doesn't want to be with her anymore and it's taking the necessary actions to it. That's it.

She'll be alone, without a place to live, without furniture, without a dog (maybe), and without someone with whom she spent the last 4 years to have her back. I think that's a just punishment for her.

 

[MrS]

I've not packed anything, they're gonna help me. My mum did say that she doesn't think I should take the furniture. Just my clothes and stuff.

Parents advice game is as bad as OPs pipe game

 

[danowat]

I missed this bit. Quick summary?

GF was bored due to OP's (excessive?) game playing, and got bored?, obviously there are issues with the relationship if the two aren't communicating the issues.

Yeah I played it a lot. Literally every spare time I had. And when she'd come round (was at my parents at the time) I'd not even go to bed with her. "5 minutes" I'd say, and 3 hours later I was still scouring the transfer market for a hot young prospect lol.

I can totally see that it ain't right, but I couldn't stop playing. When she did lash out, it did give me a bit of a wake up call and we spent more time together.

The thing is the relationship became routine, and I was just very comfortable, and recently I have been banging out the ps4 sessions. Alienation is really good, I keep trying to find a 12 slot legendary, when maybe I should have been giving her some legendary sex and filling her slots in bed.....Maybe she might not have done what she did.

But then again rather than change, maybe I need someone who will share my interests, but it's good to have alone time too no?

Anyway I'm not looking for a relationship at all, certainly not for a while anyway.

 

[Weevilone]

Has nothing to do with location. I've had woman in the US pull the same shit.

My friend even had her lie and say he hit her which he never did. Didn't matter to her friends and family. Suddenly she's a token of sympathy even after getting pregnant by cheating with another dude.

Yeah, I had a situation that didn't involve cheating.. was just time for me to move on. The girl kept calling multiple times per day, and I took her calls and talked the first couple times b/c there was no animosity or anything. I had just outgrown the relationship and wanted to make it easy as possible for her.

After I quit picking up the phone, she convinced a mutual friend that it was me doing the stalking, so he came over and threatened me with violence if I didn't leave her alone. Gave me the "don't make me do this" speech. Never really talked to either one of them again after that, though she made one last pitch to convert to a friends with benefits thing.

People always looking to help the damsel in distress, real or otherwise.

 

[prag16]

Parents advice game is as bad as OPs pipe game

Yeah eff that. Take everything you solely paid for out of there. Furniture and kitchen appliances included.

 

[sirap]

Agree. Never said otherwise.

So what was the point of your original message? To say that sexting =/ sex with other men? I don't think anyone's denying that, but the fact is she's broken the OP's trust. Any sort of relationship after that would be filled with doubt and resentment.

Not trying to be snarky, I'm legitimately confused.

 

[The Maverick]

Man, OCD, you're really chill with the way you're dealing with this. A lot of people wouldn't even have half the composure you've shown. I think you'll be good bouncing back from this. Hope moving out goes smoothly for you, bro.

And hey, you've got the thread of the year, so there's always that.

 

[Markoman]

Lol. What exactly did he do?

Posting a pic with OP+gf from another thread

 

[Astral]

I hope she eventually confronts the OP like a grown woman and just admits what she did. I can't believe people can act the way she does and just go about their lives. I can't stand immature people who don't like taking responsibility. She fucking ran away and called for backup. I still can't believe it.

EDIT:

But what do you want OP to do? Print the conversations and paste it through the city? Email them to her parents? Shame her to every friend? I'll be extremely childish, that's not how decent people act.

That's what i don't understand, people act like this is a crime that should be harshly punished to no end, why not throw stones at her like they do in some cultures?

She screwed up, he doesn't want to be with her anymore and it's taking the necessary actions to it. That's it.

She'll be alone, without a place to live, without furniture, without a dog (maybe), and without someone with whom she spent the last 4 years to have her back. I think that's a just punishment for her.

I just wish she would own up to what she did instead of making OP the bad guy.

 

[Ganhyun]

GF was bored due to OP's (excessive?) game playing, and got bored?, obviously there are issues with the relationship if the two aren't communicating the issues.

that was a past incident that he used to say why he felt his stuff might get broken (since it happened to an old laptop). though.

 

[Kinitari]

So what was the point of your original message? To say that sexting =/ sex with other men? I don't think anyone's denying that, but the fact is she's broken the OP's trust. Any sort of relationship after that would be filled with doubt and resentment.

Not trying to be snarky, I'm legitimately confused.

Same here... I'm not really sure what the point is.

1. Agrees that it's cheating, so I don't understand complaining about cheating
2. Agrees it's not justifiable
3. Thinks the OP should get out of the relationship with his stuff

What exactly is it that gaffers are saying that is bothering you?

 

[danowat]

that was a past incident that he used to say why he felt his stuff might get broken (since it happened to an old laptop). though.

That's not how I read it.

The thing is the relationship became routine, and I was just very comfortable, and recently I have been banging out the ps4 sessions. Alienation is really good, I keep trying to find a 12 slot legendary, when maybe I should have been giving her some legendary sex and filling her slots in bed.....Maybe she might not have done what she did.

 

[DietRob]

I was told I need to read this thread. Did Lionel do a recap anywhere? I was able to find Sunhi's gif.

 

[johnny956]

I appreciate that there's 3 sides to a story, if she was posting here I'm sure she'd have a version where I was a terrible boyfriend and there would be justification to do what she did.

I know I'm not perfect, and maybe I don't spend as much time with her as she likes, maybe me playing the PS4 too much instead of having sex with her was why she ended up looking elsewhere.

I just think that regardless of all that, the moment she felt unhappy she should have told me. When I played too much football manager she made it clear by throwing my laptop.

Maybe I need a woman that's into games, I sometimes read about people who say they game together, and that sounds great, but the woman I meet aren't into gaming at all.

You don't need a woman who's into video games (it's not a bad thing either if they are into them). You just need to find a girl who can communicate with you. My wife can't stand video games but knows I enjoy them. She'll also let me know if she feels like I'm dedicating too much time to them and not her and that's completely okay. Communication really is the key to a relationship

 

[Mascot]

GF was bored due to OP's (excessive?) game playing, and got bored?, obviously there are issues with the relationship if the two aren't communicating the issues.

Ah, thanks.

 

[Yurikerr]

I hope she eventually confronts the OP like a grown woman and just admits what she did. I can't believe people can act the way she does and just go about their lives. I can't stand immature people who don't like taking responsibility. She fucking ran away and called for backup. I still can't believe it.

EDIT:

I just wish she would own up to what she did instead of making OP the bad guy.

Sure, but the only indication that we have that she made OP the bad guy is from the thug friend's reaction.

And judging from what OP said about this person they were never fond of each other, and it's clear that she will frame OCD as the wrong one even if the ex-girlfriend admit what she's done.

Again, I'm not trying to defend her actions, but i think that anything more "offensive" than OCD's current plan is unnecessary.

 

[Crazyorloco]

OP. Please listen to me.

This exact same thing happened to me. Confronted my girlfriend about it. She broke down in tears telling me how she seeks attention and there was nothing going on, she just enjoyed the "flirting." I told her this was cheating. She agreed and promised nothing would happen again. Said I could see her phone whenever I wanted.

3 months I continue this damn relationship. Jealousy consumes me and I don't trust the girl I'm with. She ends up not being so open with her phone. Long story short, I find out that after all that she ends up cheating on me. Has sex with another guy. She tries the same shit and I almost fell for it again. I hate myself for continuing that relationship.

It was such a huge mistake. It fucked me up.

Please don't make the same mistake I did.

Dude. I feel like I could've written this. My ex stated it was for attention. She enjoyed the attention she was getting from the guy...(and then she went to the Dominican republic on valentine's weekend and had sex with him) Once trust is broken, I think the only way to make it work is if the person who cheated is VERY OPEN about their life. It also means you gotta work with them. I stayed with her afterwards for 3 months. It was so stressful on me and I couldn't sleep because I couldn't get over what happened.

But through my experience I find that if there's one event of cheating or E-cheating...then likely there are plenty more. The other cheating events are just waiting to be concealed.

 

[Kid Ying]

She knows I go on gaming forums, always takes the piss and calls me a geek, but she'd have no idea what Neogaf is.

Her founding neogaf would be like the reverse densha otoko.

 

[ant_]

Dude. I feel like I could've written this. My ex stated it was for attention. She enjoyed the attention she was getting from the guy...(and then she went to the Dominican republic on valentine's weekend and had sex with him) Once trust is broken, I think the only way to make it work is if the person who cheated is VERY OPEN about their life. It also means you gotta work with them. I stayed with her afterwards for 3 months. It was so stressful on me and I couldn't sleep because I couldn't get over what happened.

But through my experience I find that if there's one event of cheating or E-cheating...then likely there are plenty more. The other cheating events are just waiting to be concealed.

How are you holding up now man?

This was my 2nd time being cheated on in a row, so I'm jaded with relationships and people in general right now. And what sucks the worst is that I still sometimes get the feeling that I made a 'mistake' because I did care about her/love her a lot. But I have to constantly remind myself of what she put me through.

 

[Silent_Ocarina]

I dunno, I'm not really fond of the "he wasn't paying enough attention to me" justification for cheating. It's used so often too.

 

[BokehKing]

I dunno, I'm not really fond of the "he wasn't paying enough attention to me" justification for cheating. It's used so often too.

She shouldn't of cheated, she should have just broke up with him instead of being foul.

 

[perfectchaos007]

Definitely take your furniture. Your mum is giving you bad advice here. Take what's yours and don't look back.

his exgf sounds like someone who may do some revisionist history on who bought certain items. I hope he kept some receipts

 

[saher]

Wtf 79 pages?

 

[The Incarnation]

You really should print out loads of pictures of that guys cock, and wallpaper the whole house with them.

 

[Senoculum]

I dunno, I'm not really fond of the "he wasn't paying enough attention to me" justification for cheating. It's used so often too.

It happens. I heard it both ways too. Synonymous to "she bored me," or, "we lost interest in each other." Countless stories I've read - or heard - where people sleep in the same bed together but it feels like there's a gulf between them.