My coworker thinks I'm stalking her because I found her home address on a website

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commish said:
What kind of world do you guys live in where this would be a recipe for disaster? Do you think that most people are stalkers or something? If you are a stalker, you don't need an employee directory to find out where someone lives. Look at how enterprising our OP was!
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The world where I've been in a lot of offices were dudes are thirsty af for their female co-workers, following them around the office, following them on lunch, if their address is listed they would probably be doing drive by's past their house.

Mammoth Jones said:
Same for me. Never been a problem because no one wants to lose their job doing dumb shit. Comes in handy in an emergency.
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Sure, a manager and HR can have that information, it shouldn't be there for everyone to see though employee wise. Guys I'm just saying I seen some shit that could have been a lot worse if home addresses were just out there like that.

Idk, a phone chain is ok, but that's about it.
 
I love the casual segue into a "gaf, have you guys ever..." discussion in the OP like everyone would be sharing equally bad stories and not acknowledging how badly OP fucked up.
 
Its weird because in a typical GAF thread the weird details usually show up much later in the thread. We got everything in the first post. Unless there's more...
 
GodOnlyNose said:
The world where I've been in a lot of offices were dudes are thirsty af for their female co-workers, following them around the office, following them on lunch, if their address is listed they would probably be doing drive by's past their house.


Sure, a manager and HR can have that information, it shouldn't be there for everyone to see though employee wise. Guys I'm just saying I seen some shit that could have been a lot worse if home addresses were just out there like that.

Idk, a phone chain is ok, but that's about it.
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I completely agree. Being a large man that owns firearms I'm not as concerned about that. But absolutely would have a different perspective if things were different. Now I'm curious if my job has an opt-out policy on the directory...
 
Reminds me of this

Instagram-4a070f.png
 
GodOnlyNose said:
The world where I've been in a lot of offices were dudes are thirsty af for their female co-workers, following them around the office, following them on lunch, if their address is listed they would probably be doing drive by's past their house.


Sure, a manager and HR can have that information, it shouldn't be there for everyone to see though employee wise. Guys I'm just saying I seen some shit that could have been a lot worse if home addresses were just out there like that.

Idk, a phone chain is ok, but that's about it.
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I agree, that kind of information should not be listed for all employees to see. I just ran my own name through my work directory and all it has is work location, work phone number, and job title. There's a spot for cell phone, but it lists as private.
 
Captain Smoker said:
Yeah I agree to that part, didn't read it.

If it's just about the people-search-engine I'd interpret it as curiosity..
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No problem. Allot of people seem to miss that bit.

Captain Smoker said:
My point was the terminology.
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I get that. But the fact is stalking in this context (online look up + eavesdropping) is a proper term for OP actions. Does that mean he is stalker? Not necessary. I'm willing to chalk this one up as the OP is clueless about the signals he is sending to women.

Captain Smoker said:
My girlfriend knew some stalkerish guy aswell who was a regular in her restaurant, some behaviours are fucking creepy.
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I've been stalked a couple times. I wish I didn't have to over analyze people.
 
I think the worst part of the whole story is the actual time difference between when you met and when you told her this. It makes it seem like you've been researching her for all these months. You could probably (still a bad idea) get away with it if you had the conversation a day after you originally met,

People look other people up online all the time now. I've actually heard people casually say stuff like "so I was stalking through your profile yesterday.." and no one bats and eye.
 
LionPride said:
Have you never been on OT. Hell even Gaming Side. Lotta folks don't have social skills.
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Yes,

A fully adult man who shouts about whether Horizon or Zelda is the better game does not give me full confidence of trusting that said person have a decent social life.
 
GodOnlyNose said:
The world where I've been in a lot of offices were dudes are thirsty af for their female co-workers, following them around the office, following them on lunch, if their address is listed they would probably be doing drive by's past their house.
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You must work at Uber.
 
I consider myself at least mildly intelligent, and thanks to GAF and YouTube I feel I have a solid understanding for most things in the world even if I'll never experience them intimately.
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Well FUCK why am I even getting my biology degree when I could just browse Gaf???
 
Like, there is no way this shit ain't creepy. At least do Facebook stalking like normal people god damn.

And don't tell her about it. I mean the hell. If ya gonna be fucking weird at least don't get caught being weird.
 
I am sure everybody has looked up someone online at one point or another. (I have looked up some people on facebook that I knew at one point) The rookie mistake you make it letting it be known to her.
 
I think 3/4 of the creepiness is that the site is called the Florida Residents Database.
 
commish said:
What kind of world do you guys live in where this would be a recipe for disaster?
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Most companies with any legal team/advisor worth a crap heavily advise against granting access to any non-work essential personal information of employees to other employees who are not managers.

It's an unnecessary liability that offers basically no benefits.

Your immediate manager might need your personal cell number for emergencies, but Todd from accounting really has no need to have company-provided access to that information.

Sure, he can get it from the internet, but that's the point. There's no liability to the company in that situation because they are not the ones providing the information should Todd turn out to be a stalker.
 
Kyuur said:
I think that was a signal but you ruined it OP. I don't blame you for telling yourself its small talk though. Slips of the tongue happen.
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This. She probably had some initial interest, but you fucked up badly; not necessarily by googling her, but by getting "caught". One of the first things you said to her was "lol I went online and found out your birthday and home address". The fact that she reacted badly to that isn't a surprise, and doesn't mean she didn't have initial cursory interest. But now that ship has sailed. Tough luck.
 
supernormal said:
I think the worst part of the whole story is the actual time difference between when you met and when you told her this. It makes it seem like you've been researching her for all these months. You could probably (still a bad idea) get away with it if you had the conversation a day after you originally met,

People look other people up online all the time now. I've actually heard people casually say stuff like "so I was stalking through your profile yesterday.." and no one bats and eye.
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If you look at it from her POV, either scenario would be weird.

"I met this guy at work and he seemed nice enough. He asked me out the first day, I turned him down politely because _____, but neither of us made a big deal out of it so we just became casual work buddies. 3 months later, we were talking about our birthdays, and he interrupted me to tell me he knew my birthday and where I lived from the first day we met. So glad I dodged a bullet by not dating that creep."
 
prag16 said:
This. She probably had some initial interest, but you fucked up badly; not necessarily by googling her, but by getting "caught". One of the first things you said to her was "lol I went online and found out your birthday and home address". The fact that she reacted badly to that isn't a surprise, and doesn't mean she didn't have initial cursory interest. But now that ship has sailed. Tough luck.
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That's not what happened. He asked her out, it didn't go anywhere, months passed, then the conversation described in the op took place
 
Sho_Nuff82 said:
If you look at it from her POV, either scenario would be weird.

"I met this guy at work and he seemed nice enough. He asked me out the first day, I turned him down politely because _____, but neither of us made a big deal out of it so we just became casual work buddies. 3 months later, we were talking about our birthdays, and he interrupted me to tell me he knew my birthday and where I lived from the first day we met. So glad I dodged a bullet by not dating that creep."
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basically this. it's creepy.
 
I think the issue is that you did something that a lot of people do- check people out online, whether due to a romantic interest or just because of idle time, so it didn't seem like a big deal to you. It's not bad or anything per se, depending on your motives.

But you talked to the person you were scoping out about it, after a situation that already sounded like it was bordering on awkward. There's never a context in which that doesn't seem creepy.
 
"testing the system"

it's a database of public records, why would you feel the need to test anything against this. then to mention it. what a butt fumble.
 
jadedm17 said:
My friend years ago had a neighbor had a cat he used to pet. One day he saw it walking home and waited to pet it once it came away from the porch. A few minutes later the mother and daughter came home. "Ill say hi and ask to pet their cat" he thought. Another few minutes they stayed in the car. Eventually the father came out to tell him he's creeping out his wife and daughter. All of ten minutes had passed; He explained the situation. Great guy but this situation he was oblivious to how he was being perceived.

I don't think I'm alone in having strange situations like this happen to them.
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See, the fact that you don't think your friend wasn't being creepy AF here shows why you got yourself into this situation. Whatever your friend's intentions (which are pretty fucking weird TBH) this woman and her daughter pull their car into the driveway and just see this dude standing right outside of their property for TEN MINUTES. Think how insane that looks.
 
Sho_Nuff82 said:
If you look at it from her POV, either scenario would be weird.

"I met this guy at work and he seemed nice enough. He asked me out the first day, I turned him down politely because _____, but neither of us made a big deal out of it so we just became casual work buddies. 3 months later, we were talking about our birthdays, and he interrupted me to tell me he knew my birthday and where I lived from the first day we met. So glad I dodged a bullet by not dating that creep."
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Of course it's weird, and not just from her POV as you can see from this thread. I'm just saying the timing of it made it that much worse.
 
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