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2014 FIFA World Cup |OT| Spa1n v The Netherland5

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C

cremino

Member
Looks like our lineup will be:
Buffon, Darmian, Barzagli, Chiellini, De Sciglio, De Rossi, Verratti, Pirlo, Marchisio, Candreva and Balo...
Prandelli didn't joke when he said we will play a possession based game like Spain, problem is that we will be vulnerable to England counterattacks with fast players like Sturridge and Sterling unless we always keep the ball. I expect a boring match to be honest
 
T

Tugatrix

Member
rhfb said:
Maybe this will benefit the USA after all... :D
Click to expand...

No, many of the Portuguese players from this generation began playing in small teams that had fields with no grass

dscf7007s.jpg
 
G

gutter_trash

Banned
Tragicomedy said:
You tell me. This was taken four days ago:
VBVmFSV.jpg


The Falkland Islands serve a similar scapegoat role as Israel does to Iran. Basically, whenever domestic policies fail and the economy tanks, you can always count on an Argentine politician to make inflammatory remarks about Las Malvinas. It creates popular consensus and unites folks in a lost cause that distracts them from the true fundamental problems.

I say this as a guy who was forced into a bunch of fights down there as a kid because I spoke English. Nevermind that I spoke fluent Spanish 99.9% of the time. Nevermind that I'm not British. Nevermind that I was one year old when the war happened.
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I hope England and Argentina face each other. Not sure how the KO round would branch out
 
T

The_Hitcher89

Member
cremino said:
Looks like our lineup will be:
Buffon, Darmian, Barzagli, Chiellini, De Sciglio, De Rossi, Verratti, Pirlo, Marchisio, Candreva and Balo...
Prandelli didn't joke when he said we will play a possession based game like Spain, problem is that we will be vulnerable to England counterattacks with fast players like Sturridge and Sterling unless we always keep the ball. I expect a boring match to be honest
Click to expand...

I'd take a draw

We're too slow to get the ball to our good counterattackers. Our goals this tournament will be set pieces, and scrappy goals after real basic pieces of play

@Clegg, Neymar's tears would go straight in the wank-bank
 
M

Massa

Member
"The England team visited an orphanage in Brazil today. ‘It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope,"’ said Jose, age 6."

Heh.
 
$

$200

Banned
norinrad said:
Prepare to eat crow. Ghana will beat one and draw the other. They are not going to lose those two games.
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Ghana is very overrated. They got out of group stage last time scoring unbelievably only two goals - both came from gifted penalty (one brain fart hand ball by a Serbian player and a ball to hand/shoulder to Australia).
 
N

norinrad

Member
$200 said:
Ghana is very overrated. They got out of group stage last time scoring unbelievably only two goals - both came from gifted penalty (one brain fart hand ball by a Serbian player and a ball to hand/shoulder to Australia).
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They are still going to get out of their group. Australia is going home early from what i can see where am sitting.

c3549d16.gif
 
T

The_Hitcher89

Member
If Milner plays a single minute over the next 4 weeks, I'll fucking deck Hodgson. Sick of plodding non-entities getting picked on the wings.

Sterling must start.

fake edit: shut up Rio. I'll deck you 'n all m8
 
T

Tragicomedy

Member
The Hater's Guide to the 2014 World Cup.

I'll highlight one team from each group:

Mexico: ALL HAIL THE NEW COLOMBIA. I spent 10 weeks in Mexico as a teenager and I loved every second of it. The food is amazing. The people couldn't be nicer. Any country that caters to a tourist's whims the way Mexico did mine deserves better than to spiral into drug-war chaos and civic fecklessness. All that said, they're our natural continental rivals, so FUCK MEXICO. By the way, shouldn't you people be better at World Cupping? FACT: Mexico has never advanced farther than the quarterfinals of this tournament. How is that possible? SOCCER IS THE ONLY THING YOU PLAY. We Americans came in third at the World Cup once and we SUCK at soccer. We don't even like it! Soccer is what all our white kids play when they get cut from the football and basketball teams. How are you so bad at this? You are like a nation-sized Rucker Park for young soccer talent. You should be CRUSHING us at every conceivable turn. You are nothing but wasted potential, Mexico.

Spain: Defending champs and the people responsible for $300 prix fixe restaurants where you sniff a burning twig of rosemary before biting into a gummi bear that turns out to be a cube of beef broth. There are many good reasons to hate Spain. They speak Spanish with a terrible lisp. They will torture you using a testicle press if you do not proclaim undying fealty to the Catholic Church (I think this is still true there). They hate any portion of food that actually satisfies your appetite. And, worst of all, they live well. They eat lots of cured ham and drink lots of wine and take naps every day. And you wonder why half that nation is out of work. YOUR WORK ETHIC REPULSES ME, SPAIN.

Greece: Here we have Europe: so cultured and elegant. Amazing food. Beautiful women. Tasteful old architecture. And over here we have Greece, the farting stepbrother of the continent, constantly relying on old glories (Hail to the Oliveskins!) to prop itself up, unwilling to acknowledge the ruinous, hairy civilization it has become. The national anthem of Greece is sucking a booger into the back of your throat. Greek food is the same food as the food in FIVE THOUSAND other Middle Eastern countries, and yet they pretend it's somehow unique to the region. The entire country is a shabby restaurant that should have been shut down by the health inspector five decades ago. I can get fried calamari at Applebee's now.

England: AHAHAHAHAHA YOU HAVE NO SHOT. None. Zero. You are the Knicks of soccer. If only your national team could make like your EPL teams and import legitimately talented players from nations that aren't populated exclusively with ginger albinos who have a moping complex. Instead, you get the corpse of Wayne Rooney. Is David Beckham still on this team? David Beckham was fucking terrible. "Oh, but he was so good at corner kicks!" Well, that's brilliant. A player who excels only when the opposing team is dumb enough to accidentally boot the ball behind its own net. WHAT AN ASSET. Let's talk briefly about England as a whole, because England is Ireland without the fun. English people like mayonnaise, lawn bowling, maintaining an antiquated class system, and ABBA, in that order. It's a relative's home that you dread visiting.

Honduras: One of four countries with a soccer power index of ZERO, which seems low! You poor bastards. Honduras is also the country that we use as a testing ground for engineering government coups. Whenever we need to stage a coup in an important country, we do a dry run in Honduras to make sure it'll go as planned. So, Hondurans, you're welcome for the world's highest murder rate! If someone isn't killing you in Honduras, don't fear. A volcano will explode in your face 12 seconds later. Either way, your goal of instant death will be achieved.

Argentina: Congratulations, Argentina! You have the best player in the world. Now it's time for you crap out of the tournament and find a way to blame that one player for it. "See, the reason we choked isn't because of the 10 awful players surrounding Lionel Messi, but because Lionel Messi didn't score 50 goals per game single-handedly! HE DOES NOT LOVE US." Meanwhile, Argentines still worship at the feet of Diego Maradona, a fat, mobbed-up drug addict who helped Argentina cheat their way to a title back in 1986. Jesus. Remind me to make you people honorary fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. Soccer aside, do you like torture? Oh, have I got the country for you! Here in America, we only do GENTLE torturing. Argentina doesn't go for that shit. They go the full Mister Joshua on you over there. The good news is that the World Cup is a chance for all disappeared Argentine political prisoners to have a touching moment of bonding with their prison guards. Really unites the country like that.

USA: You realize we're a lost cause, right? Not just our soccer team. They're gonna lie down like Obi Wan this month. I'm talking about the whole country. I'm talking about the IDEA of America. It's hopeless. That whole thing about being a shining beacon of freedom to the rest of the world? GONE. Never coming back. You don't live in a free country. You live in a paranoid surveillance state oligarchy where people gun each other down in broad daylight completely at random. And you know something? It's never going to get better. Ever. The violence will escalate. Income inequality will widen. Twenty years from now, there will be one trillionaire (Donald Sterling) and 350 million people working as his personal wage slaves. Local infrastructure will deteriorate. People will forsake work and the duties of citizenship in favor of fighting unwinnable flame wars—digital arguments that increasingly have NOTHING TO DO with how people actually deal with one another in real life. Good ideas will be discarded because they're too expensive or because some dipshit company already has a vague patent on it and will do nothing with it but sue forever. Your house will be swept away in a Category 12 Nor'Eastercane. It's OK to admit it that it's over. Go ahead. Say it to yourself: America is no longer worth the effort. Feels good, doesn't it? Feels freeing. Finally, we can stop HOPING. We can be adults about this and accept the fact that AMERICA WILL DIE. And the worst part is that your cable bill will, like, double when it happens.

Belgium. The only notable thing about Belgium is that they serve you fries in a paper cone. NEAT. This is also the country responsible for your local hipster opening up a corner bistro where you can get a bowl of five-cent mussels for $28 a pop. What a deal! LOOK AT ME SOP UP THE BROTH WITH THIS BREAD! We're really having fun now! I know I love any restaurant with very small tables that must accommodate eight different mussel-related serving plates. Here is your mussel pan. Here is the lid. Here is your shell bowl. Here is your main eating plate. OH! And your fry cone. Gotta have the fry cone. I will give Belgium their crazy monk beer and nothing else. That's some damn fine trappist ale. I can drink it out of a snifter and feel like a fancypants. But the rest of Belgium serves no purpose. Belgian waffles exist mainly to make college students feel fat on a Sunday morning. I'm fine with this box of Eggos. I don't need a 50-pound waffle. And I don't need anything on it other than syrup and butter. It's not a magical delivery device for eight thousand different toppings, like Gruyere cheese and a whole leg of lamb. You're reaching.
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TedBundysNips

TedBundysNips

Member
Wonder what the odds will be on Ronaldo and Messi not scoring a goal in the world cup , Both fail to show up in big tournaments so I hope its big odds. Quite fancy Dzeko to be top scorer looking at the Serbian group. Cant see England getting out of the group be lucky if we get 1 point from the 3 games.
 
N

norinrad

Member
UNITED STATES
Strength: Ability to return to United States after tournament concludes

Biggest Advantage: Playing for fans who won’t murder them if they lose

LOL
 
E

Elchele

Member
Tragicomedy said:
The Hater's Guide to the 2014 World Cup.

I'll highlight one team from each group:
Click to expand...

Honduras: One of four countries with a soccer power index of ZERO, which seems low! You poor bastards. Honduras is also the country that we use as a testing ground for engineering government coups. Whenever we need to stage a coup in an important country, we do a dry run in Honduras to make sure it'll go as planned. So, Hondurans, you're welcome for the world's highest murder rate! If someone isn't killing you in Honduras, don't fear. A volcano will explode in your face 12 seconds later. Either way, your goal of instant death will be achieved.
Click to expand...

pls. we don't even have legit volcanos.
 
T

Tugatrix

Member
Tragicomedy said:
The Hater's Guide to the 2014 World Cup.

I'll highlight one team from each group:
Click to expand...

Portugal: Or as I like to call it: BORING SPAIN. I'd also like to call out the Portuguese language for tricking me into thinking that it's Spanish but being jussst different enough to be utterly unintelligible. Listen, PortuGuys and PortuGals: Here in America, we speak SPANISH. OK? You either learn to talk Spanish or you get the fuck out. Your Portuguese is not welcome here. When I am arguing with another person here in America, I would like to rest assured that the mangled Spanish I'm yelling is at least 15 percent accurate. Your gobbledygook asshole language has no place in modern society.
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We are infinitely more interesting than Spain. Oh we kind of speak a spanish we call Portinhol(mix of the two languages). Listen Murican Portugal as a country is older than Spain we have our own language deal with it, also murican mind that in Brazil they speak portuguese too.

I am kidding in case you don't notice murican :p
 
Facism

Facism

Member
Tugatrix said:
No, many of the Portuguese players from this generation began playing in small teams that had fields with no grass

dscf7007s.jpg
Click to expand...

I played in Cyprus for a month back in the 90's and that shit was dirt and rocks. The only dugout was an abandoned Greek Church on a little cliff next to it lol.
 
S

Santiako

Member
ARGENTINA
Strengths: Has a player you’ve heard of; Impeccable teamwork while crowding ref to complain about call

Weakness: Not a single player on team has ascended to professional ranks of MLS

Lionel: Messi

Major Rivals: Brazil; England; Duke

Trademark Goal Celebration: Jumping on top of one another while freaking the fuck out

Memorable World Cup Moment: In 1986 God attempts to kill Diego Maradona, only to miss and send the ball into England’s goal
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hahahaha that's fantastic
 
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