So even if we assume that everything she wrote is true, how exactly is this a big deal? Dude was a slimy slimeball, she was too timid to say no to anything, awkwardness ensued. Wow, what a story?
This sums it up pretty much imo. It's not that I think she is lying, it's more that I think she is way exaggerating the severity of what happened. Also, she seems very oblivious and/or ignorant to a lot of things, so I can see that a dude might feel encouraged to make advances:
I did however, DM everyone I met thanking them and saying I was glad to meet them. Joe ended up replying as seen below and inviting me to his panel. I said sure and was clearly oblivious to what the rest of his message meant but wanted to believe he had no ill intentions (...)
The next day, After walking around, I get a message from him inviting me to a dinner with people from Youtube, again, I assumed nothing of it and thought it would just be people I met the night before. So, I agreed (...)
Joe looks at me and says "I can't believe you came" and just smiled and I said yea, of course, you asked me too. He then begins to brag that he can only really travel this way around PAX East or he'd get swarmed. I just laugh and say "yea I guess that's what happens when people like you!" (...)
He asked for my phone and called his phone, it ended up being in his pocket. He laughed and said "oh geez" then just plucked away at his phone. I didn't think anything of it but realized he now had my number. (...)
Again, I'm assuming he doesn't have bad intentions and didn't want to be that person that says "Hey are you trying to sleep with me? I have a boyfriend you know!" when he was just being nice, so I just stay quiet and say sure. (...)
I'm just standing around and he ends up taking a shower and asking me to join him, I laugh and say "You're funny" and he replied along the lines of saying he knew and the offer was on the table if I decided he wasn't joking. (...)
I bring out my phone and Joe tells me to put it away and to enjoy the time with him, so I do, assuming that he finds it rude so I try to respect that. (...)
I'm a bit nervous again because I didn't have much money, but I keep that to myself because I agreed to come and I'm not going to expect anyone to pay for my food. (...)
By this time, 5 hours have passed and I haven't been able to use my phone once to tell Allen or my boyfriend I was okay. (...)
I tell him how weird he is being but all of a sudden, Joe spun me around and started interrogating me about who I was talking too. I lie and say Allen, he starts getting angry and said "your boyfriend?" and I lie and say no, Allen is drunk so I called him because I can tell Joe is drunk and PISSED. (...)
I immediately say I can't and have to go. He then reminds me not to tell anyone because it would ruin his reputation and mine as well. Some people came outside and asked if we were okay and I say yes and run inside to grab my purse. (...)
So, for the sake of argument and to avoid victim-blaming, I am going to assume that
everything she told was true und happened in that fashion. Then what I see is a girl who met Joe at some event, reached out to him afterwards expressing how pleased she was to meet him, agreeing to a dinner invitation for the next day (while claiming to be both oblivious to his implications and also not wanting to believe he had "ill" intentions? I'd assume you need to be aware of something, not oblivious to it, to not believe it?), again assuming nothing and acting very oblivious, while at the same time coming across as a girl who is interested in you from a guy's POV. When they met again, she continued to express consent in meeting, to laugh at his jokes and make compliments. In other words:
all the exact same signs you, as a dude, are likely to look for when flirting with a girl. When he got her phone number, which seems like a very obvious flirty move, she again didn't assume anything of it. And continued to do so, and to keep it to herself that she had a boyfriend even when she already suspected he was trying to hit on her. Instead of bailing out, which should have happened at this point at the latest, she accompanied him to his room despite already knowing that he planned to take a shower (which, #metoo or not, is a pretty common move when trying to get laid, because it opens up the possibility of sexual tension... and just that, opening up, without involving pressure). When he then takes it a step further and makes a clear advance, she doesn't shut it down,
but instead laughs again. She doesn't express unease or discomfort, at least not in any straight-forward manner that a dude who is clearly thinking they are in a romantic situation would pick up. You laughed before around him when you were complimenting him, so how is he supposed to see now that your laughter means you're weirded out?
She then continues to do as he pleases, because she doesn't want to be rude. To keep concerns to herself and to roll with her agreement to the situation. Then she claims that 5 hours have passed, in which she was unable to use her phone once - even with the best possible intentions, I call bullshit on that one claim, because if you are so uneasy with a situation, you can and will find a way to contact your friend or bf. She is basically claiming that over a span of 5 hours, she would not even be able to sneak to the toilette to take out her phone and send a message or two? This is
highly unlikely.
When Joe directly asked her about whom she was talking to, she outright lied. Even when he suspected that she was talking to her boyfriend, she insists that she doesn't - at which point Joe must believe she's taking him for an idiot. So, although it may not be classy, it's understandable that he gets pissed and angry with her and feels like she's playing games with him. Simply because at no point before did she express clear discomfort or that he had overstepped any boundaries. She closes with saying "immediately" that she cannot go with him and has to go. Which would be the very first time that she would have openly and directly stated something along those lines towards him, because previously, she made active efforts to keep her thoughts and impressions to herself.
So, I am not saying that her side of the story isn't true at all. I'm just saying that I can very, very well see how on the other side, a dude who was trying to hit on her might have thought to receive a lot of encouraging signals from her. And let's not kid ourselves, men are still expected to make moves on women if they are interested, even in 2020 it's still the women's part to act aloof. And she wasn't even doing that. She actively showed a lot of signs that can very well be interpreted as genuine interest in the guy. If he is so totally wrong in his assumptions, you
need to set things straight or else, the situation will only escalate and get worse, as it presumably did.
Of course he's gonna be increasingly pissed if you keep rolling with everything he suggests, but then act as if his interest in you came out of the blue.