Congrats, just play it cool.
-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
- Start date
- Status
Congrats, just play it cool.
[KoRp]Jazzman
Member
Nicely done!
Hello, DatingGaf
How would you deal with a girl that's serious, not so expressive, forgets many things, and is also indecisive? We started texting very well, but nowadays I have to start the conversation, keep the conversation going, and say hello whenever we meet at our workplace.
Apparently she's not sure if she likes me (I heard it from her friend). We were supposed to go out this weeked, but she forgot that she was going to travel with her family. She said we should go out in 2 weeks, but according to another one of her friends, she mgiht have forgotten too that she will be busy that day.
How screwed is my situation? I know the answer, but I'll like to hear your opinions.
How would you deal with a girl that's serious, not so expressive, forgets many things, and is also indecisive? We started texting very well, but nowadays I have to start the conversation, keep the conversation going, and say hello whenever we meet at our workplace.
Apparently she's not sure if she likes me (I heard it from her friend). We were supposed to go out this weeked, but she forgot that she was going to travel with her family. She said we should go out in 2 weeks, but according to another one of her friends, she mgiht have forgotten too that she will be busy that day.
How screwed is my situation? I know the answer, but I'll like to hear your opinions.
ZackieChan
Member
She's not forgetful, she doesn't want to hang out with or talk with you. Best move on
OK.
So, I installed a few dating apps to see how it would go. Got little success on tinder. A few matches after several days, but none of them are my type.
I decided to give Twoo a try. Got quite a few visitors over the span of a few days. I liked several girls that visited me, but if you don't pay money, you can't see who likes you on Twoo. You can, however, see who visited you for free.
Not knowing if they like me at all, I sent random "Hey, sup?" messages to some of the girls that visited me which I liked. I just got a response from a girl saying she's doing good and she asked me how I'm doing.
To tell the truth, I didn't expect any of the girls to answer but this girl is totally my type but since I didn't really expect any answers, I'm not sure how to continue. I'm a total scrub at conversations with strangers. How should I proceed? Just talk about random things? Ask her how her day went.
Basically... how do I go from "Hi" to "You wanna catch a movie or something some time?"
So, I installed a few dating apps to see how it would go. Got little success on tinder. A few matches after several days, but none of them are my type.
I decided to give Twoo a try. Got quite a few visitors over the span of a few days. I liked several girls that visited me, but if you don't pay money, you can't see who likes you on Twoo. You can, however, see who visited you for free.
Not knowing if they like me at all, I sent random "Hey, sup?" messages to some of the girls that visited me which I liked. I just got a response from a girl saying she's doing good and she asked me how I'm doing.
To tell the truth, I didn't expect any of the girls to answer but this girl is totally my type but since I didn't really expect any answers, I'm not sure how to continue. I'm a total scrub at conversations with strangers. How should I proceed? Just talk about random things? Ask her how her day went.
Basically... how do I go from "Hi" to "You wanna catch a movie or something some time?"
I wouldn't ask her how her day went... It's boring as fuck. Don't be boring. Not sure what you should say as I don't know the app, her profile, her or you, your country, etc... There has gotta be something unique and topical in there somewhere. You wanna stand out, not blend in. Be worth talking to. How many times each day do you think she gets asked how her day is by random dudes on there?
Well, if you want some details...
She's single, attended college and working now, she has tattoo(s), never drinks alcohol, love is het greatest motivation in life, not a smoker, she'd consider meeting someone from Twoo in real life, religion ain't important, she's a pet person, anti smoker, ...
No idea if any of this helps, lol
Tell her that you are a total scrub at conversations with strangers (add some funny emoticon). And that therefore you're just going to ask a random thing to do a deep scientific analysis of her psyche to make sure she isn't a psychopath (good moment to wait for a 'haha' or 'OK bring it on!' response from her side)
Then ask: Cereal or bread?
Joke around that cereal is for lazy peasants. If she answered bread, tell her that you respect her dedication to the art of making sandwiches.
She'll probably give you more to work with now. When doing the big leap for asking for a date, make sure to say 'you want to catch a movie this week?' Or something else with a concrete timeframe (this Tuesday, Wednesday, whatever).
Good luck.
Fortune favors the bold. You're not on the app to have a conversation, you're there to get a date. So just throw a couple of witty/interesting lines to judge the person's interest and then ask for a date. Don't be wishy washy like "You wanna catch a movie or something some time?" Say something like "Want to grab a coffee at x place at x time?" Movies for first dates are terrible BTW. Too long, too expensive, and you learn nothing about the person since you aren't talking with them. Keep it simple (drinks, coffee, walk, etc.) until you know them a little better and can determine if they are worth spending time/money on.
ErrorMacro
Member
In my experience, the best way to get a conversation going is to ask if she likes something that is meaningful for you. If she does, there you go, you two have something in common you can talk about for a while until ou move to other stuff. If she doesn't, you can always ask her why (without being to pushy) and work with that.
My go to question is "Do you like cats?", and it has worked wonderfully well for me.
Another technique is, analyze her photographs. Is there one photo with something interesting that made you curious? Ask her about it. For example, I started taking dance classes a month ago, and the profile of a girl I visited had a picture of her dancing. So I just asked her if she dance and which style of dance.
Also, never take too long before asking the person on a date. At most one week of online conversation, depending on your and her schedule, and her interest.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
"Cats or dogs, and why dogs?"
If she's a cat person and blocks you because of this, I'm sorry.
Thanks, guys. That's some interesting advice.
I started talking a bit about what I was currently doing and ended up mentioning I gotta go work tomorrow and that today is my day off, was watching a movie. Then she started asking what kind of job I do and I started talking a bit about that.
Asked her what she's doing now, what kind of job etc.
I started talking a bit about what I was currently doing and ended up mentioning I gotta go work tomorrow and that today is my day off, was watching a movie. Then she started asking what kind of job I do and I started talking a bit about that.
Asked her what she's doing now, what kind of job etc.
Save that sort of stuff for the actual date. Small talk online isn't going to go anywhere except that maybe she will end up keeping you around as a chat buddy. You have to have the mindset that she's probably talking with multiple people at once and subjects like "what do you do" or "what are you up to" are going to get boring very quickly. Just ask her out. If you get "it's too soon" or "I need to get to know you" she's most likely a flake that will never go out with you anyway.
names2hard4you
Member
Wasn't sure if I should post this here or online dating but I met a girl online and she agreed to a date for today, but wanted to confirm it this morning. It's 10:30am(I know it's not to late but I'm not sure when she'll get to me) and I haven't heard anything. Should I text her or just wait it out? Wait til noon? Shoot a good morning text? Thanks GAF
names2hard4you
Member
Of course.
Just casually send "Morning! So for that XX:XX AM/PM, we still meeting at Y?"
Never confirmed a time so I'll leave that part out. Thanks
names2hard4you
Member
Good luck!
ZackieChan
Member
Shouldn't you confirm a time?
She said she'd let me know what time works for her today. I didn't like it but I wasn't gonna force it
Well I know why the girl I'm seeing is being hesitant. She's moving back to Africa to work for two to three months, and she could be leaving very soon.
We spoke for a while last night - she is not the kind of person who easily discloses her feelings. She said she would write me a long email/letter and send it to me when done. She's basically terrified of committing to a relationship when she could get hurt or I could move on when she's away.
I'm meeting her in a bit, but shes already ruled out talking about it until she's finished her letter
I made it quite clear last night that I would wait for her to return if she went away, keep contact, and that we need to make the most of the time we have right now.
Tonight may be awkward.
edit: it wasn't awkward. it was really nice.
We spoke for a while last night - she is not the kind of person who easily discloses her feelings. She said she would write me a long email/letter and send it to me when done. She's basically terrified of committing to a relationship when she could get hurt or I could move on when she's away.
I'm meeting her in a bit, but shes already ruled out talking about it until she's finished her letter
I made it quite clear last night that I would wait for her to return if she went away, keep contact, and that we need to make the most of the time we have right now.
Tonight may be awkward.
edit: it wasn't awkward. it was really nice.
So earlier I got a text saying she had to do some things around the house first, now I just got one saying she has a headache. Not an outright cancel but seems like an easy out, could be real.
Edit. Might be over thinking it, guess im just used to people being flakey while dating and keep expecting it.
Edit. Might be over thinking it, guess im just used to people being flakey while dating and keep expecting it.
names2hard4you
Member
I'll be honest, this plus the fact that a time was never setup kinda makes me think she was not planning on going out AT ALL. Personal experience here, but every time a girl is interested they will make sure a time AND place are well setup.
I mean I have headaches all the time and still live my life, and so do women. Even more so if they want to meet this exciting prospect date. So yeah. Maybe move on.
She said "I'll let you know" when you were asking about the date then radio silence. Then it's "some things" around the house when you ask about the time -- the day of the date. Now it's a headache.
Do you need a diagram? Maybe she's gonna get called into work next and she's really sorry. C'mon dude. Don't waste time with people that don't respect yours.
Do you need a diagram? Maybe she's gonna get called into work next and she's really sorry. C'mon dude. Don't waste time with people that don't respect yours.
Yeah but these are crippling dating headaches that stem from a long history of "Do Not Want."
Went through that just last week. Had a place, time, day etc, she seemed excited to meet, then it was one thing after another of her backing out. Just gotta let it go.
All it takes is one flaker and you'll start to doubt everyone.
ZeronosVega
Member
That's why I have a two strike rule. First strike, I can chalk up to "things come up". I've had it happen to me, but usually person who cancels, if they're interested, will try and set up another date ASAP. On the second consecutive strike, you cut your losses. It keeps things simple and from you wasting time on someone who isn't interested.
SpiritSlayer
Member
Hey GAF I have a question. There's a girl that works at this place that I frequent. When I walk in and shes all smiles when she sees me and we say our hellos. The conversation between us is pretty natural (At least I think it is). She'll also yell my name to say see you later if she's far away and already haven't done so. My question is is that showing interest or just being friendly?
crimzonflame
Member
On your first few dates is it implied that you are seeing other people until you talk about exclusivity?
names2hard4you
Member
From what you are telling me, I think you are thinking too much, she works there, so it's her job to be nice. Maybe she is extra nice to you but that doesn't mean she wants to get in your pants. You can leave your number in a piece of paper and give it to her, put the ball on her court if you truly believe that she is trying to get to know you. If she doesn't text or call though, things may get awkward, specially if you go to this place frequently.
grap3fruitman
Banned
Everyone telling me to get help first, my psych recommended a girlfriend. :lol
They sell them at Costco. You will need to buy a membership though
All not being exclusive means is that someone could be seeing other people, not that they are.
Under what context? No psych should be prescribing a girlfriend as a pathway to happiness. Having general friends, yeah, I can see a psych advocating that, as everyone needs a support network. But your happiness should not be based off your dating status.
What sucks is being led on.
Where the flakes aren't really consecutive but pop up here and there at convenient moments. They continue to show interest or pretend to show it, but the excuses get shittier and shittier.
Met some girls on Tinder
ZeronosVega
Member
In that case, the thing to do is date others. Don't let a flake prevent you from getting out there and having fun if you're not in a committed relationship (in which case, you have other issues to deal with).
jimmypython
Member
This is why you stop trying after a few times. 2 strike rule sounds good, but I would only ever bother with that 2nd time if I was really interested in a girl. If she wants to she'll make time for you, period.
Yep. Best to assume she's dating other dudes. More often than not, that's the reality.
ZeronosVega
Member
Well, it's only there because sometimes a first date is canceled for legitimate reasons. However, you generally hope for a quick "but I'm free X, would that work instead?". It clearly shows interest and is worth the second try.
grap3fruitman
Banned
Bear your soul.
it'd only be awkward if he made it awkward.
If you leave your number on a piece of paper, and she doesn't text/call, that's fine.
The next time you see her, say hi, exchange pleasantries, and keep moving. No need to ramble on since she's not interested. But don't weirdly and obviously avoid her. If you run into each other, say hi. If you don't, don't.
That's it. Act normal, cause it's really not a big deal.
People act like getting rejected by a girl means you can never be within 50 ft of her oh holy presence anymore... >_>
I think I'm more of a wolf spirit type
Questioning if I should bother asking this international student out. She's Swedish and doesn't have her green card so she can't stay in the U.S permanently; suggests she probably isn't looking for much except for a bit of fun.
Honestly, I'm just attracted to her and really only interested in sex. She catches me eying her and looking her up and down from time to time. She winked at me when she turned around and caught me looking one time. I have no problem making her laugh as well, but that's probably not surprising for who I am. I can entertain people all day long.
Should I just take the dive? I've never been one for casual sex, but holy hell. 😱😱😱
Honestly, I'm just attracted to her and really only interested in sex. She catches me eying her and looking her up and down from time to time. She winked at me when she turned around and caught me looking one time. I have no problem making her laugh as well, but that's probably not surprising for who I am. I can entertain people all day long.
Should I just take the dive? I've never been one for casual sex, but holy hell. 😱😱😱
- Status