ZackieChan
Member
Then the proper move is to berate her about the parking garage fee you paid.
-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
- Start date
- Status
Then the proper move is to berate her about the parking garage fee you paid.
Reave
Member
I don't think there's a universal rule to this. To me, I think it largely depends on the impression you got from her simply as a person, as well as how well the date went, what the chemistry felt like, and the time of day you met up. If all goes well, I see no reason why a guy can't text a date back sometime during the following day.
On the flip-side, the worst possible factors to trigger an early post-date text are when guys don't give themselves enough time to come down from the rush, or when insecurities or uncertainties about their interest levels get the best of us, and cause us to spring into action to get answers before the girl even has time to process her own experience.
Point being, use your best judgement and try not to make it into a glorified strategy game.
Mediking
Member
Oh, you lucky sonofa.... She winked at you... that's a crazy good sign.
Gotta applaud you for not slipping into "being too friendly" like I stupidly and always do. Might try the "looking her up and down" thing and try not to look perverted. Lol
ZackieChan
Member
I dont know how anyone, including yourself, could read that and answer "no." Just ask her out and stop psyching yourself out.
Alright, alright.
I'll see what she's going to be doing this week and see if she has time to do anything.
My schedule is lined up with hers tomorrow, so I'll do a bit of small talk and ask her out. She's the explorative type too.
Funny thing is that one of the older guys in the studio that I work at was telling me to try and get with her and take her out to dinner after working with her.
Man knows his shit. We'll see what happens. Only hesitant because I don't want to come across as thirsty as fuck, but man... 😵😱
I'll see what she's going to be doing this week and see if she has time to do anything.
My schedule is lined up with hers tomorrow, so I'll do a bit of small talk and ask her out. She's the explorative type too.
Funny thing is that one of the older guys in the studio that I work at was telling me to try and get with her and take her out to dinner after working with her.
Man knows his shit. We'll see what happens. Only hesitant because I don't want to come across as thirsty as fuck, but man... 😵😱
ok I'm in a weird situation
So I met this girl through a friend, we chatted a bit IRL but not long because I had to leave. While I was gone my friend, well mutual friend they used to work together and went to the same school, was winggirling me and talking me up. So I get back and she tells me about all the cool shit she was saying about me. I was like cool cool.
She asks me if I'm interested in the girl, I say yes, so she messages her saying I'm interested and that I'd like her details and if she can give them to me. She says yeah.
So I message her the day after saying it was nice to meet her and if she wants to go get drinks next weekend. She replies with a joke asking if I'm not stealing her job next weekend ( we work the same student job but I work weekends). I reply hahahaha maybe, and I ask when she's free.
Since then no reply. Was like a day ago. Dead in the water and leave it be? Or do I send another message?
So I met this girl through a friend, we chatted a bit IRL but not long because I had to leave. While I was gone my friend, well mutual friend they used to work together and went to the same school, was winggirling me and talking me up. So I get back and she tells me about all the cool shit she was saying about me. I was like cool cool.
She asks me if I'm interested in the girl, I say yes, so she messages her saying I'm interested and that I'd like her details and if she can give them to me. She says yeah.
So I message her the day after saying it was nice to meet her and if she wants to go get drinks next weekend. She replies with a joke asking if I'm not stealing her job next weekend ( we work the same student job but I work weekends). I reply hahahaha maybe, and I ask when she's free.
Since then no reply. Was like a day ago. Dead in the water and leave it be? Or do I send another message?
You asked a girl out, she didn't reply. For you that's a weird situation. But for Dating-gaf, it was a Tuesday.
Wait until Tuesday or Wednesday, send another message. Expect nothing.
Guidelines for what to send?
I don't want to sound like an arrogant asshole, but I legit don't know what to send.
names2hard4you
Member
"So you really were that scared of me taking that job of yours uh".
Lol, honestly just say hi and ask if the reply got cut off. If she doesn't reply to that, it's nothing lost and you get your answer and can move on. Better to be direct and know wtf is going on than starting to make a "game" all for the sake of getting a reply.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
It's Monday. Ask her how her weekend went.
names2hard4you
Member
She won't wait two weeks, just letting you know right now. And even if she does, by the time it gets to the day of, she'll probably just call it quits.
ErrorMacro
Member
Dude, I went out for drinks with a girl in the middle of the week, at 0:00 am, cause she had class until 23:00. You can easily schedule for after 20:00.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Pure honesty here. If scheduling stuff during the week is out of the question for you, your dating success is going to be slim. There is a bare minimum of availability required here. 8pm on a weekday for an adult who wants to date is legit standard. I attend sporting events that start later than that :/
hydrophilic attack
Member
So cute girl temporarily at my workplace said she'd like to go out for some live music with me sometime
On the one hand she is super nice to everyone so it may be nothing.
On the other hand she did decide to join me for a 30+ minute chat while I was having my 1500+ calory post-gym struggle snack in the work kitchen tonight. Also, at a job party last week where we were both pretty drunk, as we were walking from there arm-in-arm
On the one hand she is super nice to everyone so it may be nothing.
On the other hand she did decide to join me for a 30+ minute chat while I was having my 1500+ calory post-gym struggle snack in the work kitchen tonight. Also, at a job party last week where we were both pretty drunk, as we were walking from there arm-in-arm
I got the impression she was pressing her bust against my arm. Then again, I may just have been imagining things or she may have just been trying to get away from my even drunker colleague who had been creepily hitting on her for a couple of hours and who was holding her other arm
names2hard4you
Member
Hmmm. Workplace relationships are a tough subject, I never really recommend them tbh. She has given you signs for sure though, I don't think it's just you.
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
How do you compliment a woman's outfit without sounding creepy? I shouldn't have to ask but ya know, I don't want to sound like I'm desperate either.
hydrophilic attack
Member
Thanks for the input
About my work, it's at a university and there are a lot of young people like me who are there on temporary contracts as salaried PhD students or guest researchers. So I'll be out of there in a few years, so it's not like it could ruin anyone's career or anything. It's pretty common for people to start dating and/or hook up
I ended up helping the Swedish girl out quite a bit today. For some background, I'm an advanced ceramics student, so the teacher sometimes asks me to help the other students when he can't get to them, so I just decided to help her.
I've known of her since January, but I'm just now getting to know her a bit more.
She came up to me really playful and talkative and asked if she should continue trying to make a pot or do something else, but I somehow convinced her to try and make a pot (more hands on ;p)
After helping her work on her methods and hand control, we end up talking for a while. Earlier in the day, I had battery problems with my car, and inadvertently told her that. Turned out that she drove to the school for once (she's legally not allowed to drive by law after four months in the U.S) She gave me a jump start. We talk some more, end up discussing classes and how I have Astronomy. She mentions how she has never been in the planetarium, so I told her that they open it and the deck for telescopes sometimes at night to host events and she suggested that she would like to go there sometime.
Problem is, next event isn't until October 14th, but it's at the perfect time of day and on a Friday.
I think she was signaling that she wanted to go get smoothies after jumping my car because she started complaining about how hot it was and Starbuck's maker was broken. I mentioned a smoothie place that was near the campus and she agreed to go there, but I kind of went around going with her even though I wanted to. I haven't gotten paid yet. I'm flat broke until Friday.
As a way to thank her for helping me, I'm going to offer to take her out on Friday. Turned out pretty good.
I've known of her since January, but I'm just now getting to know her a bit more.
She came up to me really playful and talkative and asked if she should continue trying to make a pot or do something else, but I somehow convinced her to try and make a pot (more hands on ;p)
After helping her work on her methods and hand control, we end up talking for a while. Earlier in the day, I had battery problems with my car, and inadvertently told her that. Turned out that she drove to the school for once (she's legally not allowed to drive by law after four months in the U.S) She gave me a jump start. We talk some more, end up discussing classes and how I have Astronomy. She mentions how she has never been in the planetarium, so I told her that they open it and the deck for telescopes sometimes at night to host events and she suggested that she would like to go there sometime.
Problem is, next event isn't until October 14th, but it's at the perfect time of day and on a Friday.
I think she was signaling that she wanted to go get smoothies after jumping my car because she started complaining about how hot it was and Starbuck's maker was broken. I mentioned a smoothie place that was near the campus and she agreed to go there, but I kind of went around going with her even though I wanted to. I haven't gotten paid yet. I'm flat broke until Friday.
As a way to thank her for helping me, I'm going to offer to take her out on Friday. Turned out pretty good.
I can't actually believe that's a movie scene. They ruined what could have been a nice pot.
Anyways, I'm just going to see what happens.
Scoring a first outing shouldn't be hard with her. Like I said, I can't look at her without wanting just sex.
I won't let myself get disappointed if she decides to decline any advancements over time, but that's why I have to act faster.
Gotdatmoney
Member
"Wow, you look really pretty"?
I dunno, I don't think this is really a big deal unless you're trying to use it to lead to something.
Just say what you're thinking. If it's coming from a good place the person can generally sense that regardless of how the interaction turns out.
Comment on the item/outfit, rather than how she looks in it. Compliment her taste and appeal to her fashion sense/style, rather than noting like who knows how many other guys that she looks good.
ZackieChan
Member
Yeah, this is the good strategy. Or I'll pick out something like their earrings and compliment them. "Wow, those are really pretty earrings." Blah blah.
Aren't you French? Chicks dig that accent 😄
(Not you, the OP, I mean)
Yep. I always tell someone how cute their outfit is. Don't be creepily specific or say how good they look, but how great their outfit is.
I actually read the message wrong, I'm a baffoon.
She's free all week. Suggested time and date, waiting for reply .
Keep your fingers crossed boys!
Roberto Larcos
Member
First date cancelled at short notice. She asked to reschedule, which is good I suppose - but it always feels shitty for a little while.
But did you reschedule yet?
I've had the "let's reschedule" text before then nada. People use that as an easy out.
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
Roberto Larcos
Member
She asked to reschedule, then picked out another time (Sunday) within a few minutes. I didn't push or prod for it at all, so I'm pretty sure it's authentic - frustrating for me.
Nah, that's good. She took the initiative to get it on the books right away. Just a delay.
ErrorMacro
Member
My rule to complimenting women when I don't know them very well is to always look for something that I like in her and that she is in control of. The good thing about complimenting her outfit is that it was her pick, so you are complimenting something she is in control of.
johnathon_gat
Neo Member
Hey dating gaf, give me your wisdom please.
One of my teammates at work is super sexy and fun. Sometimes we work together, or I'll help her in solving some problem. I really want to ask her out.
But I'm not sure on the situation: we flirt more than actually get work done, and she'll laugh at my shitty jokes and touch my arm etc. Problem is that her father has worked at the company for 15 years and she lives at home.
As I only just moved into my own place after 8 months with the folks, I've finally got the confidence to start dating again - but I know it could be hard for her to feel the same. I want to go for it anyway.
Yes yes something about shitting and eating - I can handle it. Advice?
One of my teammates at work is super sexy and fun. Sometimes we work together, or I'll help her in solving some problem. I really want to ask her out.
But I'm not sure on the situation: we flirt more than actually get work done, and she'll laugh at my shitty jokes and touch my arm etc. Problem is that her father has worked at the company for 15 years and she lives at home.
As I only just moved into my own place after 8 months with the folks, I've finally got the confidence to start dating again - but I know it could be hard for her to feel the same. I want to go for it anyway.
Yes yes something about shitting and eating - I can handle it. Advice?
ErrorMacro
Member
Man, what a bummer. There is this girl I've been talking to from okcupid, and I was really interested in her, but due to us living quite far from each other, it was hard to arrange a date, so we kept talking through whatsapp. She had a lot of shitty experiences with guys from online dating, most of them wanting only sex, while she wanted a relationship, so she is quite defensive about it. And apparently, the fact that I never had a girlfriend + the fact that I use online dating a lot signaled to her that I wasn't interested in a relationship, and prompted her to tell me she only wanted to be friends with me.
The thing is, I never had a girlfriend at 26, and use a lot of online dating because I'm an unlucky, socially awkward fellow, whose only current way of getting dates is through online dating lol. I thought she was the kind of girl who wasn't going to care about those things, but I guess I completely misjudged her.
The thing is, I never had a girlfriend at 26, and use a lot of online dating because I'm an unlucky, socially awkward fellow, whose only current way of getting dates is through online dating lol. I thought she was the kind of girl who wasn't going to care about those things, but I guess I completely misjudged her.
ZackieChan
Member
Sounds like you didn't get out ahead of these issues and passively let her make a lot of assumptions. Regardless, if you live far enough away from her that it's difficult to get together, what's the point? Move on and find someone close that you can have an actual relationship with.
Yeah sounds like she just wants to be texting buddies. Cut your losses and move on.
This won't end well. Do you really want dad giving you the stinkeye every day at work? Find someone that you don't work with.
This won't end well. Do you really want dad giving you the stinkeye every day at work? Find someone that you don't work with.
I'm not quite sure how that situation is bad. At worst is the living with her parents thing, but if you're young (20's) that's common. You fear it could be hard for her to start dating while living at home, but isn't that up to her?
If you can deal with being co-workers with a potential ex, ask her out. Don't date at jobs you can't lose.
So, why talk to her if you could never meet?
And online dating should never be your only way of getting dates. It's easy to feel unlucky when 90+ percent of women never respond to your messages...
You really have to be careful dating co-workers. I think the big thing here is... her dad works with y'all too? That can be really touchy... I don't know how important this job is to you, but if things go south with her, you could be putting your actual job at risk, if her dad has connections and if vindictive enough to use them. Like there's the normal reasons you shouldn't date co-workers, but the dad situation takes it to a whole other level.
ZeronosVega
Member
Yeah, you've got to diversify your approach.
ErrorMacro
Member
We can meet, actually. It's just that that it is quite harder to schedule. Basicaly Sundays only.
Believe me, I try to meet people besides online dating,I just have a hard time doing so. I'm taking dance classes, I take acting classes, I'm even going out more to parties and stuff. But I think 100% of the girls that I met in person and was interested into already had a BF :/ . It is quite frustrating how unlucky I am.
I need some advice because I'm absolutely terrible talking on the phone.
The past few times we've tried and I guess I'm just fidgety, so I will gravitate to keeping my hands busy and maybe play a game on mute. The problem is she hears me and will start to complain about it and to be fair, she is right. I don't think I can divide my attention as well as I think I can.
Up until now I've never really had to talk on the phone much if the conversation wasn't transactional in some way. Maybe a long while ago when I was like really young I had maybe talked to friends for hours on the phone at a time.
So I'm not quite sure what to do here. Because tonight I kinda wanted to just try again and I called her up instead, wanting to maybe just chat for a bit and shoot the shit for maybe a while. It ended up being a 3 hour call when all is said and done and she just got upset at me because when she wanted to talk about more serious stuff I didn't really put the controller down to talk with her.
I know I fucked up but I'm not sure how to look at this. Obviously the more important part is that I clearly did not give her my full attention. That I know in what general direction I need to head in from now on. But also on a minor note re: phone calls, I mean, do I just keep trying? (I feel like in some ways I'm putting myself through this to hurt myself) I feel like I'm being rude because I'm not that chatty on the phone but I do want to chat with her sometimes but then I also want to just end the call and go back to my own things, as stupid as that sounds.
The past few times we've tried and I guess I'm just fidgety, so I will gravitate to keeping my hands busy and maybe play a game on mute. The problem is she hears me and will start to complain about it and to be fair, she is right. I don't think I can divide my attention as well as I think I can.
Up until now I've never really had to talk on the phone much if the conversation wasn't transactional in some way. Maybe a long while ago when I was like really young I had maybe talked to friends for hours on the phone at a time.
So I'm not quite sure what to do here. Because tonight I kinda wanted to just try again and I called her up instead, wanting to maybe just chat for a bit and shoot the shit for maybe a while. It ended up being a 3 hour call when all is said and done and she just got upset at me because when she wanted to talk about more serious stuff I didn't really put the controller down to talk with her.
I know I fucked up but I'm not sure how to look at this. Obviously the more important part is that I clearly did not give her my full attention. That I know in what general direction I need to head in from now on. But also on a minor note re: phone calls, I mean, do I just keep trying? (I feel like in some ways I'm putting myself through this to hurt myself) I feel like I'm being rude because I'm not that chatty on the phone but I do want to chat with her sometimes but then I also want to just end the call and go back to my own things, as stupid as that sounds.
Roberto Larcos
Member
To be honest, you're being extremely rude - if I was on the other end of the the line, I wouldn't put up with it. Is this girl so unimportant to you that you can't pause your videogame to talk with her? What does that say about your priorities to her? What does say about how you value her?
You should absolutely apologise. Only call again if you can be bothered to actually have a conversation. You might not be terrible at talking on the phone, but you show complete disregard for the person on the other side. No manners, no etiquette.
Is she your girlfriend ? Why are you talking for 3 hours on the phone? I'd kill myself...
Are you in middle school?
If you don't like talking on the phone then tell her that. I tell every girl I date if we must talk on the phone it's no more than 5 minutes. I despise talking on the phone, especially about inane stuff, I mean really what could you talk about for 3 hours ? Unless you are discussing wedding details or something major. Ugh I'm frustrated just thinking about it. 😵
Are you in middle school?
If you don't like talking on the phone then tell her that. I tell every girl I date if we must talk on the phone it's no more than 5 minutes. I despise talking on the phone, especially about inane stuff, I mean really what could you talk about for 3 hours ? Unless you are discussing wedding details or something major. Ugh I'm frustrated just thinking about it. 😵
Gotdatmoney
Member
3 hours on the phone? This better be your god damn wife son. Forget your phone fidgeting. If you're at the poit of asking us for advice about it it is not going anywhere. You are who you are there. But you should not be having 3 hour phone convos about anything. That's fucking stupid. An hour even is too long in my book. Tell her you don't like talking on the phone. Find a different communication method.
names2hard4you
Member
Good lord 3 hours. This brings me back to the elementary/high school days lol.
- Status