Met a girl on tinder and had my first real date in years. Thought it went really well. We talked a lot, we got fairly physical (kissing, dick grabbing, boob grabbing, her playing with my hair and pinching my nipples lol), and seemed to hit it off. Date lasted 4 hours. When I dropped her off she said she'd talk to me again and that she had a great time. And earlier in the date I had invited her to a movie the following weekend which she accepted.
Couple days later I messaged her just wanting to chat and its been radio silence for days now. I'll probably try messaging her one more time before the weekend but already guessing I'm out of luck. Just wanted to vent and share my experience. Feels pretty bad.
Sucks man, and tbh will probably happen again. No one wants a confrontation so usually people will be super positive and even accept second dates in person only to ghost later.
If I had a piece of advice to give, don't play the "wait a few days before texting" game. Not sure if that's what you were going for but if you're into someone text them the next day.
Here's the other thing that occupies my mind, how do you draw that fine line between "I am using good date techniques" and "I am being a weird person manipulator"?
Girls aren't dumb, they will know when you are trying to get a little touchy or angling for a kiss. Gotta read their body language and if they are into it, they'll let it happen. If you put a hand on their knee, for example, and they readjust, then you'll know to slow down and reassess.
So the line is simply whether the girl's into it or not. You aren't really "manipulating" them, you're charming them. Difference being they are obviously aware of what you're doing and why you're there.
I've never had sex on a first date as I've never wanted to, but I've made out on the last 5 first dates. You establish physical touching at the bar, then maybe as you're walking to another bar put your hand on their back a few times playfully or affectionately and again see how they respond. At the end of the date I usually default to a hug unless they are making it obvious (moving super close, looking up at me with hard eye contact), then when I pull back from the hug I see if she steps away or keeps her face close. If it's the latter go for it. Worst that happens is she says no, which honestly isn't a huge deal. She won't think less of you for wanting to kiss at the end of a good first date.
Datinggaf I'll be straight with you, I'm gonna need your help on basically everything. I was in a four year relationship up until a month ago and I didn't really date before that let alone online date. I went on two dates with a girl from OkCupid in the last month and that was fine but I didn't so much as kiss let alone sexy times.
I also look fucking terrible in photos so I'll have to gen any stuff for a profile from scratch.
For my part I'm going to focus on fitness, getting some self confidence, and moving the fuck out (Sydney is expensive but I think it might be time to bite the bullet)
Anyway I'll check in later and hopefully I'm not totally irredeemable.
Start with the photos. Almost literally the only thing that matters in online dating is your photos. Don't even message girls unless you've got some good shots, because those are girls who might respond better with better photos.
Self-confidence in first dates just comes down to not giving a fuck, so here's something that may help: don't fall in love with profiles or messaging, as real-life chemistry is something totally different. Don't message someone for weeks as that just builds up anticipation that the date almost can't live up to. Only assume you're going to have a good time with someone, never assume a second date will happen until it happens.