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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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LordKasual

Banned
GAF, I'm kinda at my wit's end here. So this girl I was talking about, who essentially went dark on me for over a week, only to reach out to me with a "sorry, I've been busy, how have you been?". I was just about to write her off and move on. We chat for a while, and she appears happy to go on another date, but when I start suggesting times she goes "well, I'm really busy with work, let us see as we go along". No counter-offers or anything. At that point I put the ball in her court and asked her to suggest the next date. I feel completely discouraged from any further advances towards her, which wouldn't be an issue if I didn't miss her company a lot. I told her as much when she said the same about me last time we met. And now this. What's going on?

I guess I should try dating more than one person at a time, but I dunno... that seems complicated. Besides, dating a single person seems enough to drain my energy.

You're the backup dick. She's just keeping you on ice for whenever the dude she's actually trying to get with blows her off / doesn't work out.

Lol yeah, at this rate I'm going to be married in 4 months and a kid in 1 year.

I told her I think the joint account was a bad idea btw. We are still going to open an account for us, but it will be managed by her.


RIP
 

Ozorov

Member
New-ish app, started to really take off last summer. American, I guess? Not sure about its distribution, but in Chicago it has probably been the best for meeting genuinely nice people. Not as much for hook-ups or one-night-stands as Twitter, but that hasn't been my focus recently.

I guess I need to try out that Twitter ;)
 

Neoweee

Member
i have been 109 first dates from online dating. i would say at max 10 of those have looked better then their profile. and 20 have looked larger or older then their pics. Most people match what they look like within reason.

Yeah, sounds about right.

It probably depends on where you live. When I lived out in the far suburbs it was more of a crapshoot, but when you live in a big city, why waste either ones time? You're always going to be able to get a match with somebody. Doing it under false pretenses just waste both people's time.

I guess I need to try out that Twitter ;)

LOL, Tinder, not Twitter. Derp on me.
 

Ozorov

Member
i have been 109 first dates from online dating. i would say at max 10 of those have looked better then their profile. and 20 have looked larger or older then their pics. Most people match what they look like within reason.

You've been on 109 first dates? Holy moly

Yeah, sounds about right.


LOL, Tinder, not Twitter. Derp on me.
Haha! Yeah but I think Tinder or Badoo(?) is the only dating-apps in my country. I'm not into ONS.
 

Neoweee

Member
You've been on 109 first dates? Holy moly

I've been on 40-50 in the last year. That's less than one a week, which is easy to fit into a schedule.

It really only becomes a problem when also trying to keep a schedule open enough to have second and third dates, which are generally more substantial and time-consuming. I fumble hard when there are two-or-three that I want to meet again with.

Meeting up with somebody takes little effort if live in a big city, work normal hours, and want to keep things casual early on.
 

Ozorov

Member
I've been on 40-50 in the last year. That's less than one a week, which is easy to fit into a schedule.

It really only becomes a problem when also trying to keep a schedule open enough to have second and third dates, which are generally more substantial and time-consuming. I fumble hard when there are two-or-three that I want to meet again with.

Meeting up with somebody takes little effort if live in a big city, work normal hours, and want to keep things casual early on.

Yeah I guess living in a big city makes it easier.
 

Ralemont

not me
How many dates have you been to where their Tinder-pics looks top-notch but IRL not-so-much?

None actually, and I've had better-than-pictures happen a few times. I swipe left if the pics aren't clear what they look like, but haven't had anyone I'd consider dishonestly representing themselves.
 
Ive been told I look like a douche in photos and that I look much better in real life. Almost all my Tinder dates have commented on that. So I guess thats a good thing if they are pleasantly surprised when we meet.
 

Raptomex

Member
Ive been told I look like a douche in photos and that I look much better in real life. Almost all my Tinder dates have commented on that. So I guess thats a good thing if they are pleasantly surprised when we meet.
Women just want to straighten my hair. They always seem to mention it at least. I let my ex do it a few times. If it gets me dates, so be it I guess.
 
Wonder what Tinder is like while traveling. In another country for a hot minute.

Probably won't do anything, but what the hell

It's a blast. From all kinds of perspectives. Sex is easy-peasy and you can get to know some very cool places through locals. Most of my craziest tinder adventures have all happened while traveling.
 
Got a 19yr old (I'm 28) on Tinder proposing a threesome if she can find another girl.

What do gaf. What do.
batman-robin-meme.jpg
 

Jintor

Member
Datinggaf I'll be straight with you, I'm gonna need your help on basically everything. I was in a four year relationship up until a month ago and I didn't really date before that let alone online date. I went on two dates with a girl from OkCupid in the last month and that was fine but I didn't so much as kiss let alone sexy times.

I also look fucking terrible in photos so I'll have to gen any stuff for a profile from scratch.

For my part I'm going to focus on fitness, getting some self confidence, and moving the fuck out (Sydney is expensive but I think it might be time to bite the bullet)

Anyway I'll check in later and hopefully I'm not totally irredeemable.
 
Got a 19yr old (I'm 28) on Tinder proposing a threesome if she can find another girl.

What do gaf. What do.

Every guy in this thread is probably going to tell you that you're insane for even thinking about not doing it, but tbh every time that someone talk about something like this I think to myself that I probably wouldn't do this. I always think that I'd be too busy trying to pleasure the other two girls that I would enjoy it less than having sex just with one of them.

The what??

Exactly.
 

LordKasual

Banned
The what??

wheres the storybook guy

Got a 19yr old (I'm 28) on Tinder proposing a threesome if she can find another girl.

What do gaf. What do.

I want to type what i can imagine IRL friends would probably call you in this situation, but this is NeoGAF and so even in jest i know i'll never get away with it, so

what are you solo dolo, some kind of fuckin' pussy hater

what do? do IT numbnuts

Every guy in this thread is probably going to tell you that you're insane for even thinking about not doing it, but tbh every time that someone talk about something like this I think to myself that I probably wouldn't do this. I always think that I'd be too busy trying to pleasure the other two girls that I would enjoy it less than having sex just with one of them.

this is true

i honestly wouldn't do it for the sex

i'd just do it because it sounds like a damn good achievement
 

RockmanBN

Member
Any way to improve photo? 22, Cuban, 5'7 140 lb manlet. Want to try dating, but I never tried as I shut myself to most people in High school. 4th year in College but I'll be doing a 5 since I switched from CS to MIS. Using this for tinder unless I should be using something like okcupid.

Photo in quote.
 

Salamando

Member
Any way to improve photo? 22, Cuban, 5'7 140 lb manlet. Want to try dating, but I never tried as I shut myself to most people in High school. 4th year in College but I'll be doing a 5 since I switched from CS to MIS.

Photo in quote.

Now, just close off the email tag
 
Any way to improve photo? 22, Cuban, 5'7 140 lb manlet. Want to try dating, but I never tried as I shut myself to most people in High school. 4th year in College but I'll be doing a 5 since I switched from CS to MIS. Using this for tinder unless I should be using something like okcupid.

Photo in quote.

Smile.
 

Astral

Member
This is hypothetical since I'm not seeing anyone but if you hate her friends or don't like how she's friends with a drug dealer or something like that, that shit won't work out right? I was thinking about it today. How important are a couple's friends in a relationship? If you don't like her friends or she doesn't like yours, how much would it impact the relationship?
 
This is hypothetical since I'm not seeing anyone but if you hate her friends or don't like how she's friends with a drug dealer or something like that, that shit won't work out right? I was thinking about it today. How important are a couple's friends in a relationship? If you don't like her friends or she doesn't like yours, how much would it impact the relationship?

Definitely depends on the kind of chemistry you have. I think it comes down to how independent too people are (and that should relatively match up). If you're very independent, then it's not going to matter that you have different kinds of friends because your time is your time and together time is together time; they're already separate. If your significant other is really intertwined with your own sense of identity, as many relationships end up, then not having good relationships with his or her friends is going to be a serious strain. Obviously if someone's type of friend is very different from your type of friend then that might mean that you're different types of people, too, which in itself can be a problem. So again, it boils down to how significantly involved in your life your significant other is.
 
Haha, I might give that a shot. Just that problem to get more "nice" pictures. I don't like how I look on photos.

You're not alone, but we work with what we have haha


I'll help out where I can mate, we're all here to improve and hopefully succeed.

This is hypothetical since I'm not seeing anyone but if you hate her friends or don't like how she's friends with a drug dealer or something like that, that shit won't work out right?

I wouldn't want any association to a drug dealer soooo....
 

Astral

Member
Definitely depends on the kind of chemistry you have. I think it comes down to how independent too people are (and that should relatively match up). If you're very independent, then it's not going to matter that you have different kinds of friends because your time is your time and together time is together time; they're already separate. If your significant other is really intertwined with your own sense of identity, as many relationships end up, then not having good relationships with his or her friends is going to be a serious strain. Obviously if someone's type of friend is very different from your type of friend then that might mean that you're different types of people, too, which in itself can be a problem. So again, it boils down to how significantly involved in your life your significant other is.

Yeah that's kind of how I think of it. You can have your own time with your SO and friends aren't really an issue. At the same time, if they have shitty friends it kind of says something about them.

I wouldn't want any association to a drug dealer soooo....

Lol that was just an example but I wouldn't either. And if your SO is friends with someone who does that or gets into similar types of trouble then it kind of says something about their character and in a way are associated with that person.
 

Sub_Level

wants to fuck an Asian grill.
Met a girl on tinder and had my first real date in years. Thought it went really well. We talked a lot, we got fairly physical (kissing, dick grabbing, boob grabbing, her playing with my hair and pinching my nipples lol), and seemed to hit it off. Date lasted 4 hours. When I dropped her off she said she'd talk to me again and that she had a great time. And earlier in the date I had invited her to a movie the following weekend which she accepted.

Couple days later I messaged her just wanting to chat and its been radio silence for days now. I'll probably try messaging her one more time before the weekend but already guessing I'm out of luck. Just wanted to vent and share my experience. Feels pretty bad.
 
Every guy in this thread is probably going to tell you that you're insane for even thinking about not doing it, but tbh every time that someone talk about something like this I think to myself that I probably wouldn't do this. I always think that I'd be too busy trying to pleasure the other two girls that I would enjoy it less than having sex just with one of them.



Exactly.

There's ways everyone gets satisfied mate, don't fret. I think the guy should definitely do it, but don't hold out that she will find someone. Usually shit like this happens organically rather than planned, but good luck mate.
 

notaskwid

Member
Met a girl on tinder and had my first real date in years. Thought it went really well. We talked a lot, we got fairly physical (kissing, dick grabbing, boob grabbing, her playing with my hair and pinching my nipples lol), and seemed to hit it off. Date lasted 4 hours. When I dropped her off she said she'd talk to me again and that she had a great time. And earlier in the date I had invited her to a movie the following weekend which she accepted.

Couple days later I messaged her just wanting to chat and its been radio silence for days now. I'll probably try messaging her one more time before the weekend but already guessing I'm out of luck. Just wanted to vent and share my experience. Feels pretty bad.
That sucks man, but at least you got someting out of it (your first real date in years). You know you can do it, move on.
 

Neoweee

Member
I don't even know how you get that far on a first date @__@

Lots of subtle things to do it. It mostly involves putting yourself in the kind of situation where things can happen.

1) Schedule meeting for drinks more than an activity or coffee. Alcohol helps, and is also better signaling of "I'm okay if this just a hookup".
2) Be more physical, touchy, and playful during the date.
3) Try to have some privacy where getting physical doesn't feel awkward.
4) It is never too early to ask if your date wants to go upstairs for a drink.
 

MogCakes

Member
Couple days later I messaged her just wanting to chat and its been radio silence for days now. I'll probably try messaging her one more time before the weekend but already guessing I'm out of luck. Just wanted to vent and share my experience. Feels pretty bad.
Sorry to hear that. The date itself went great though, so congrats! There'll be more like it in the future.
 
Has anyone here used the website OMGYES? like just go there. pay the 39 bucks and learn how to eat and play with some pussy in ways you probably havent thought about. Shit this whole thread could share a single login for the benefit of our predominantly female partners.

First date sex stuff.

Feel the vibe if she is into and you are also feeling it great.
Try touching your knee to hers or tell a story where you need to touch her in some way. Like a story where you had to grab a friends shoulder like "shit! Should we do this" or you had to give something to your friend and you place the imaginary object in their hands.

You could also slyly touch your knee or foot and then move into your leg on their calf and if she doesnt protest, you can move your hand up to her knee or even behind.

Its way easier to flirt when you are sitting next to someone rather then across from someone. Find a good bar that makes this easier. Dont think about fucking on the first date. Its a little creepy to try to go into a first date with fucking in mind unless your texts before hand were juicy.
Sidebar
Every long term relationship or something that lasted more then 5 dates i didnt sleep with on the first night. The tension helps in the long run and getting some emotion into it.

Long make out session and calling it quits with all that built up is sexy and fun and teases a bit.


You need to have something interesting at home.
reasons i have had people want to come to my place. Also it should be within walk able distance.

- See my corgi and play with him
- See my art and paintings
- Literally get drawn naked
- I have book i want to give them we talked about
- fuck it be bold and ask her back to your place for another drink. Having good wine and or beer/ liquor is always helpful or a night cap of some awesome tea.


#1 advice i have about first dates. is do something that would be fun for you regardless of your date. Go somewhere new, experience something. Have fun and stop caring or putting anything on a pedestal. Acting like a person is your last hope at love will turn them away.

This post is way longer then i expected. i have been thinking about this stuff alot since i am little burnt out at dating and needed a longer break. But hey im meeting 3 new people in the next 4 days and im looking forward to all of them for some reason or other.
 

Neoweee

Member
I'm kind of the same, I feel creepy being too sexually forward on date one. Date two is generally easier for me to have sex on. I think I've had sex once on a first date.

I guess the kind of chemistry where that could even potentialy happen feelings completely foreign to me

I agree, kind of. I tend to be really slow with physical escalation, but it's okay to have the confidence to put yourself out there, or to put yourself in situations where it can happen.
 

Jintor

Member
Here's the other thing that occupies my mind, how do you draw that fine line between "I am using good date techniques" and "I am being a weird person manipulator"?
 

Ralemont

not me
Met a girl on tinder and had my first real date in years. Thought it went really well. We talked a lot, we got fairly physical (kissing, dick grabbing, boob grabbing, her playing with my hair and pinching my nipples lol), and seemed to hit it off. Date lasted 4 hours. When I dropped her off she said she'd talk to me again and that she had a great time. And earlier in the date I had invited her to a movie the following weekend which she accepted.

Couple days later I messaged her just wanting to chat and its been radio silence for days now. I'll probably try messaging her one more time before the weekend but already guessing I'm out of luck. Just wanted to vent and share my experience. Feels pretty bad.

Sucks man, and tbh will probably happen again. No one wants a confrontation so usually people will be super positive and even accept second dates in person only to ghost later.

If I had a piece of advice to give, don't play the "wait a few days before texting" game. Not sure if that's what you were going for but if you're into someone text them the next day.

Here's the other thing that occupies my mind, how do you draw that fine line between "I am using good date techniques" and "I am being a weird person manipulator"?

Girls aren't dumb, they will know when you are trying to get a little touchy or angling for a kiss. Gotta read their body language and if they are into it, they'll let it happen. If you put a hand on their knee, for example, and they readjust, then you'll know to slow down and reassess.

So the line is simply whether the girl's into it or not. You aren't really "manipulating" them, you're charming them. Difference being they are obviously aware of what you're doing and why you're there.

I've never had sex on a first date as I've never wanted to, but I've made out on the last 5 first dates. You establish physical touching at the bar, then maybe as you're walking to another bar put your hand on their back a few times playfully or affectionately and again see how they respond. At the end of the date I usually default to a hug unless they are making it obvious (moving super close, looking up at me with hard eye contact), then when I pull back from the hug I see if she steps away or keeps her face close. If it's the latter go for it. Worst that happens is she says no, which honestly isn't a huge deal. She won't think less of you for wanting to kiss at the end of a good first date.

Datinggaf I'll be straight with you, I'm gonna need your help on basically everything. I was in a four year relationship up until a month ago and I didn't really date before that let alone online date. I went on two dates with a girl from OkCupid in the last month and that was fine but I didn't so much as kiss let alone sexy times.

I also look fucking terrible in photos so I'll have to gen any stuff for a profile from scratch.

For my part I'm going to focus on fitness, getting some self confidence, and moving the fuck out (Sydney is expensive but I think it might be time to bite the bullet)

Anyway I'll check in later and hopefully I'm not totally irredeemable.

Start with the photos. Almost literally the only thing that matters in online dating is your photos. Don't even message girls unless you've got some good shots, because those are girls who might respond better with better photos.

Self-confidence in first dates just comes down to not giving a fuck, so here's something that may help: don't fall in love with profiles or messaging, as real-life chemistry is something totally different. Don't message someone for weeks as that just builds up anticipation that the date almost can't live up to. Only assume you're going to have a good time with someone, never assume a second date will happen until it happens.
 
Man, I feel like such a fuckboi.

Today I decided to log into my old email address that I stopped using after school ended. For kicks, I decided to log on.

There was this girl I was friends with. It was starting to look like we were going to date, but I didnt pull the trigger yet. And then I graduated.

For one year after, the girl kept emailing me, asking if I was well. Inviting me to stuff. Giving me her phone number to call her.

At one point she even asked if I wanted to be her roommate.

I never saw any of it until now.

I was really fond of her, but immediately after college I was not in a right state of mind to be in a relationship. Still, it's like I ghosted her, unintentionally. We could have been friends.
 

Neoweee

Member
Man, I feel like such a fuckboi.

Today I decided to log into my old email address that I stopped using after school ended. For kicks, I decided to log on.

There was this girl I was friends with. It was starting to look like we were going to date, but I didnt pull the trigger yet. And then I graduated.

For one year after, the girl kept emailing me, asking if I was well. Inviting me to stuff. Giving me her phone number to call her.

At one point she even asked if I wanted to be her roommate.

I never saw any of it until now.

I was really fond of her, but immediately after college I was not in a right state of mind to be in a relationship.

What the fuck.

Did she not try to add you on Facebook, or any other social media?
 
Man, I feel like such a fuckboi.

Today I decided to log into my old email address that I stopped using after school ended. For kicks, I decided to log on.

There was this girl I was friends with. It was starting to look like we were going to date, but I didnt pull the trigger yet. And then I graduated.

For one year after, the girl kept emailing me, asking if I was well. Inviting me to stuff. Giving me her phone number to call her.

At one point she even asked if I wanted to be her roommate.

I never saw any of it until now.

I was really fond of her, but immediately after college I was not in a right state of mind to be in a relationship. Still, it's like I ghosted her, unintentionally. We could have been friends.

She kept emailing you for a year without any responses? You're not in the wrong here, you never even exchanged numbers.
 
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