always crazy bacon
Banned
Concise truth he needs to action. If he thinks dating GAF is going to coddle him forever he's in for a reality check.
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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
- Start date
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Concise truth he needs to action. If he thinks dating GAF is going to coddle him forever he's in for a reality check.
Subpar Scrub
Banned
Mega that's one of the dumbest things I've read on this site, and contrary to popular belief I do actually read my own posts.
Well if she did end up having a look through the site, there's no way she'd know who you were... except for maybe this one dude going "Aye guys I just told a girl I'm dating that I post here lol, hope she doesn't find this."
Well if she did end up having a look through the site, there's no way she'd know who you were... except for maybe this one dude going "Aye guys I just told a girl I'm dating that I post here lol, hope she doesn't find this."
Lmao
Hello All,
I've been in and our of this thread for nearly a year now. Had some successful dates and some not so.
About 4 months ago I started seeing a woman, 8 years younger than me. We met and had the most amazing first date that lasted 60 hours before we managed to get some sleep (no sex just talking).
She ended up moving straight in with me, she had just moved back to my town and was living in air BnB. I thought we would be amazing together. About a month later stuff started to go wrong, she started complaining that I wasn't being romantic enough (even though I would do all the small things - make her coffee at 5.45 before I had to go to work, get dinner ready for her etc - we went out on dates etc). So I couldn't understand what I was doing wrong. This continued for another month or two and her tone started to get more and more abusive to the point where she was emotionally blackmailing me with texts such as "do you love your cat more than me" - that was when I was going to look after my cat (doesn't live at my place due to me renting).
She told me during arguments that my friends didn't really love me, that I should get over the fact my father was abusive and that she could see why he used to get angry at me. that was the start of the final straw for me. I'm at an age where I don't want that.
We were due to move in together officially before all this started. But after a few dark weeks we both agreed it would be best we didn't live together in the hope that it might make our relationship better. Even though its something that we both agreed she would often get upset and blame me for not wanting to live with her.
About 3 weeks ago we had another blazing row and she asked me what I think we should do. I said that I don't think we could be together anymore and that was pretty much the last I heard from her bar a few nasty emails (I hold my hands up and say I said things I'm not proud of - mainly that I called her a walking red flag).
Gaf, I know its wrong but I still love this woman. But I've been told that shes already started seeing someone else. Is it wrong that I'm upset by this or should I not even car? I feel like I'm the one that's ben abused and treated badly yet I cant get over this and she clearly has.
I've been in and our of this thread for nearly a year now. Had some successful dates and some not so.
About 4 months ago I started seeing a woman, 8 years younger than me. We met and had the most amazing first date that lasted 60 hours before we managed to get some sleep (no sex just talking).
She ended up moving straight in with me, she had just moved back to my town and was living in air BnB. I thought we would be amazing together. About a month later stuff started to go wrong, she started complaining that I wasn't being romantic enough (even though I would do all the small things - make her coffee at 5.45 before I had to go to work, get dinner ready for her etc - we went out on dates etc). So I couldn't understand what I was doing wrong. This continued for another month or two and her tone started to get more and more abusive to the point where she was emotionally blackmailing me with texts such as "do you love your cat more than me" - that was when I was going to look after my cat (doesn't live at my place due to me renting).
She told me during arguments that my friends didn't really love me, that I should get over the fact my father was abusive and that she could see why he used to get angry at me. that was the start of the final straw for me. I'm at an age where I don't want that.
We were due to move in together officially before all this started. But after a few dark weeks we both agreed it would be best we didn't live together in the hope that it might make our relationship better. Even though its something that we both agreed she would often get upset and blame me for not wanting to live with her.
About 3 weeks ago we had another blazing row and she asked me what I think we should do. I said that I don't think we could be together anymore and that was pretty much the last I heard from her bar a few nasty emails (I hold my hands up and say I said things I'm not proud of - mainly that I called her a walking red flag).
Gaf, I know its wrong but I still love this woman. But I've been told that shes already started seeing someone else. Is it wrong that I'm upset by this or should I not even car? I feel like I'm the one that's ben abused and treated badly yet I cant get over this and she clearly has.
See, the bolded is what I was most worried about... if things go south, how is Mega going to get that money back? You could trust her to just give the money back, but... come on, if things are going poorly on a relationship most people don't really care about the other's situation, lol.
It's a shame that it seems to be somewhat cultural but this can't be just accepted like the living situation with her mother.
Come for the advice, stay for the drama.
I don't really tell people I post here because most people I meet aren't hardcore gaming enthusiasts lol. Like why else would you originally come to GAF?
If someone I was dating found my posts without me telling them (a google search of my username or real name typically pulls up my portfolio and more "normal" sites), I'd think that's creepy as fuck and wouldn't be contacting them anymore.
It's not wrong to be upset about someone you have feelings for. It's okay to feel that.
It's also not cognitive dissonance to recognize that you dodged a real fucking bullet.
Personally I wouldn't move in with someone until after I've dated them for a year+. Or at LEAST known them that long. You need to get past the honeymoon phase in a relationship before making serious decisions.
We absolutely got wrapped up in the whole thing again and it felt great to feel wanted by someone so awesome (or so I thought). Due to my upbringing there are parts of me that are broken - my desire to find love and be loved is one of them. So when I do find someone its generally all in for me - that leads to me getting fucked over on more than one occasion.
always crazy bacon
Banned
She's her mothers living pension plan. It's cultural, if the relationship goes south Mega is out of the picture and she'll find a new "Mega" quicker than he'll find a new girlfriend. That Asian fettish is strong for some guys in the nerd circles.
You, sir, just left a classic abusive relationship. Abusive relationships will fuck with your emotions in weird ways like this. You KNOW she was abusive, but yet you miss her. Abusive relationships more or less thrive on having the highest of highs to make the abused forget the lowest of lows, and you're still focusing on the highs being "worth" the abuse. It's not.
I suggest talking to a therapist about this. It was only four months, but that kind of shit can mess with you for a long time. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 7 or so years and to this day I still have weird as hell hang ups or expectations about relationships. So yeah, talk to someone and give it time to heal. Also block her on everything. E V E R Y T H I N G.
I have blocked her on everything I can, our paths cross for work (I've been leaving home early to not bump into her). Brightons a small town though so I'm worried we will cross paths again soon.
I've never been through anything like this before, God knows how you managed 7 years, she totally made me question who I am. Luckily I have some amazing friends who I trust with my life - they helped me realise how abusive and controlling she was being towards me.
Its just the fact that I love her that I'm struggling to deal with. Thanks for the sane advice
I agree with everything gaiages said. I was in a similar relationship a while ago, on & off for two to three years. The bad stuff is definitely obscured while you're in the middle of it. Later I realized I was dealing with a borderline personality along with some alcoholism. And even after a while I still "loved" and "missed" her. It took a little over a year and another relationship, but that all faded eventually. So by the time I heard that she ended up shotgun-marrying another dude, I only felt sorry for the other dude, and I was glad it wasn't me.Its just the fact that I love her that I'm struggling to deal with. Thanks for the sane advice
Given that her and her mom seem to sleep in the same bed in a 1 BR, she seems a little co-dependent and ultimately, this will be her mom running the bank account via her.
I'm not against people living with their parents at all - been in that situation a lot. There's a difference between living with parents and being glued to them like you're not your own person. Seen a few times where someone tried to date someone and their parents either basically approved or disapproved every thought they had or the parents were running their life for them. Even when you pull that personality into your own living space the parents tend to continue controlling them and the household by proxy. This is why I usually make sure if someone lives with their parents they at least have their own room.
Yeah wish I could feel sorry for her next guy as shes really good at the first part of the relationship. But apparently I manipulated her into being happy??
always crazy bacon
Banned
You're not wrong.
hahaha I'll remember that next time I need to feel castrated
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
I just can't fathom someone NOT having their own room.
If the person is poor, fair enough needs must, but otherwise it is so weird. I know this discussion has been had before, but it is very weird.
Megalosaro
Banned
Lol where did you get they sleep in the same bed? They don't.
And she's definitely not codependent on her mom. She lived alone for years. It wasn't until her mom got divorced that they moved in together
And she's definitely not codependent on her mom. She lived alone for years. It wasn't until her mom got divorced that they moved in together
please don't ignore the more important part of the discussion.
Gotdatmoney
Member
That ship sailed a long time ago.
always crazy bacon
Banned
That's his MO. See asshole housemate.
timetokill
Banned
Jesus, I was hoping that if nothing else, mega would have dumped his asshole housemate at some point during my ban
Y'all are telling me that still hasn't happened yet? It's like I never left!
Y'all are telling me that still hasn't happened yet? It's like I never left!
I agree with the rest of the advice. It was and still is an abusive relationship, and there's no time like the present to move on.
ZackieChan
Member
The money to move out is better spent in his gf's bank account for trip he can't afford, I guess.
Megalosaro
Banned
This month we did pretty well. Spent about 200. Really that number is inflated by a hotel that we got one night though.
Attack You
Member
I have never, ever, encountered a situation where I've found it beneficial to disclose to anyone my online haunts--and I socialize with gamers almost exclusively. One of my closest friends has an account here on NeoGAF and, to the best of my knowledge, has been smacked with the banstick at least once and had his threads locked. Not once have I acknowledged that to his face offline. I think one other close friend may recognize me on here, because I slipped up once in one of the monthly "post your pick-ups" threads, but I wouldn't know it if she had an account here.
Edit: Also, if she is lurking: I still want to kiss you. <3
I think after a certain age with enough wisdom and experience, you can move in together (and have it be the a responsible decision) in as little as 6 months. But that's rare.
I don't usually come in this thread but you just made me a daily viewer.
LookAtMeGo
Member
Last 2 long term relationships I was in we shared bank accounts and I let them control the money. Never again. Id rather just be bad with my spending habits.
Let them control the money and see how quickly they become your mother.
Let them control the money and see how quickly they become your mother.
True Savior
Member
Nothing is going on. Girl who likes the attention and to talk but is completely uninterested on dating.
dreamcastmaster
Banned
Ive never heard anything positive about joint bank accounts, only the theory that there is some benefit, 99% of the time its the woman that pushes for one.
Starlightmuse
Member
why, you're not even reading about the blowjob orgy
Any of yall ever met a girl on Tinder
Smashed
Then shit gets really weird in which you know you a booty call, but for some reason it feels weird and it's not from your side because you a savage in these streets for the next two years and know you can't handle a committed or anything like it?
Yeah neither have I
Smashed
Then shit gets really weird in which you know you a booty call, but for some reason it feels weird and it's not from your side because you a savage in these streets for the next two years and know you can't handle a committed or anything like it?
Yeah neither have I
The what??
artsi
Member
But are you still going to give your money to her?
Megalosaro
Banned
Probably not.
Reading it after I posted it, yeah it was pretty weird.
Reading it after I posted it, yeah it was pretty weird.
So I thought the barista at the Starbucks I go to often was crazy cute, so I got her number. I asked her out and we both got a date planned. Then today (in the same week of asking barista girl out) I get another number from a different girl and she was like "you should ask me out tomorrow btw " since it was getting late. Fuck. I've never seen more than one girl at a time.
Now I gotta keep a calendar going and shit.
" since it was getting late. Fuck. I've never seen more than one girl at a time. Now I gotta keep a calendar going and shit.
ZackieChan
Member
It's not that difficult
Subpar Scrub
Banned
Is it really that hard to remember "X on Friday night, Y on Sunday morning"?
artsi
Member
So I thought the barista at the Starbucks I go to often was crazy cute, so I got her number. I asked her out and we both got a date planned. Then today (in the same week of asking barista girl out) I get another number from a different girl and she was like "you should ask me out tomorrow btw
Now I gotta keep a calendar going and shit.
I've booked 5 dates and juggling even more Tinder / Whatsapp convos right now, you can handle two dates lol.
Living the Dream
Member
Looks like I'll be joining y'all here 😒😒
artsi
Member
Too many matches, got to hustle
I'm planning to reset Tinder soon, can't handle all this backlog.
Spoiled Milk
Banned
Wait till you hear about the water balloons.
U da mastah
LookAtMeGo
Member
How many matches do you have? I counted mine just now and I have 107 but only have conversations going with 5 of them. There has been a lot of unmatching and this is my 3rd or 4th Tinder run. And I've only met up with a handful.Too many matches, got to hustle
I'm planning to reset Tinder soon, can't handle all this backlog.
Having 5 dates lined up wpuld give me an anxiety attack. Do you enjoy all this dating? I couldnt handle it. I get one date and I stress about it.
You do know that you can "scroll up" to see how many matches you have right? You don't have to count them
.But artsi is some kinda of casanova that god sent to earth to bring enjoyment for the women. So he has probably 1M+
LookAtMeGo
Member
Where? I just see "new matches"You do know that you can "scroll up" to see how many matches you have right? You don't have to count them
Scroll down with your finger. Then it says "Search: number of matches" at the top.
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