Atramental
Banned
I'm on some next level shit, that's for sure.
Also, I feel like a large turning point in my life is very close. I just need to get myself physically fit and then I'm all set.
Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
- Thread starter soultron
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I'm on some next level shit, that's for sure.
Also, I feel like a large turning point in my life is very close. I just need to get myself physically fit and then I'm all set.
Discotheque
Banned
This thread has created a monster. Soon Altra will take all our women.
I saw your self-pic, Atramental, in the Real-Pic thread, and you didn't look overweight to me. Plus you never mentioned you were a handsome devil! 
Also, I know you always harp on the bald thing, but I've seen a lot of people with shaved heads, and it looks normal to me. You seem to wear it very nicely as well.
Also, I know you always harp on the bald thing, but I've seen a lot of people with shaved heads, and it looks normal to me. You seem to wear it very nicely as well.Update on this...
So I went with my gut and hit her up on Wednesday. Pretty much texted back and forth all day. Sometime during all that I asked her if she wanted to hang out on Saturday. But she already had plans w/ her girls to go hiking. I threw out some hints that I also like hiking hoping that she'd maybe invite me to go with them. Nope.
(I don't actually like hiking lol but I would've been the fucking trail master if she asked me to come. I also thought it'd be weird to invite myself along.)
Kept texting through w/ her the rest of the week but nothing really serious cause I kinda checked out on her after the exchange I mentioned above.
Went to go shoot some hoops for a few hours and marinate on life today. When I checked my phone she sent me a pic of her on the top of some mountain trail or something. Didn't say anything back cause I honestly wasn't that interested and I didn't want to think about it.
At some point during our texts this week she sent me something like "I don't want you to think I don't want to hang out with you, because I do. It's just hard to find time."
In my mind I'm thinking "so fucking make some."
I care, but I don't care. It's on her now.
I can't read minds, and I can't make people do what I want. I can only be honest with how I feel (w/in reason) and I've done that.
So I went with my gut and hit her up on Wednesday. Pretty much texted back and forth all day. Sometime during all that I asked her if she wanted to hang out on Saturday. But she already had plans w/ her girls to go hiking. I threw out some hints that I also like hiking hoping that she'd maybe invite me to go with them. Nope.
(I don't actually like hiking lol but I would've been the fucking trail master if she asked me to come. I also thought it'd be weird to invite myself along.)
Kept texting through w/ her the rest of the week but nothing really serious cause I kinda checked out on her after the exchange I mentioned above.
Went to go shoot some hoops for a few hours and marinate on life today. When I checked my phone she sent me a pic of her on the top of some mountain trail or something. Didn't say anything back cause I honestly wasn't that interested and I didn't want to think about it.
At some point during our texts this week she sent me something like "I don't want you to think I don't want to hang out with you, because I do. It's just hard to find time."
In my mind I'm thinking "so fucking make some."
I care, but I don't care. It's on her now.
I can't read minds, and I can't make people do what I want. I can only be honest with how I feel (w/in reason) and I've done that.
The hike might have been like a girl's day out kind of thing. Are they really tight friends? I wouldn't be discouraged about it if she's trying to actively rectify the situation though. See how it goes.
Atramental
Banned
The fat goes to my thighs, ass, and stomach. lol
If I took a full body pick you could see that I haven't been exercising a whole lot.
And yes, I'm not too terribly overweight but I just don't like having a gut. I'm all about creating a "wow factor" with people (girls especially haha) and I feel like I could accomplish this by not having an average body.
Thanks.Plus you never mentioned you were a handsome devil!
The baldness has taken some time to get used to but I shouldn't have to worry about that being a limiting factor once I've got a p90x body to show off. Haha.
Good. Stop blowing her phone up. If she's sincere, she'll make some time. Busy yourself with friends and other female prospects for the time being.
shanshan310
Member
I'm with this guy. She's obviously making an effort to see you. She even sent you a pic of her hiking, since you expressed interest. I'm gonna say it probably wasn't her place to invite you, even though it was one of the only times she was "free" or whatever.
Plans were probably made beforehand. Even still, it's probably not the greatest thing to do group setting stuff if he's interested in this girl.
Well, whatever the reason, it's always good to get fit and healthier. I still don't think you having a shaven head is a limiting factor really, but to each his own.
Yeah, it just sounds like she just had a girl's day out to me or something. Nothing to trip over.
I guess they're tight friends. IDK.
You'd think if they were that tight that they wouldn't mind if she ditched them this time.
Yeah it's not like I've put other shit on hold for her. I've just been working her throughout the normal course of my day.
I don't really pay attention in class much and I spend a lot of time in the library lately trying to learn Photoshop and the other Adobe crap cause I'm too poor to buy it for personal use. Either that or playing basketball or getting wasted. So it's a welcome distraction.
to both of these: maybe. i admit its hard for me to be understanding about this so it's good to have a second opinion.
It might be a thing they do annually or something though, Domino. Like a tradition of some sorts. Something she felt she couldn't ditch over, or invite anybody along with.
Solideliquid
Member
Wanted to drop this situation on GAF. So my SO, myself and her girlfriend go out to dinner. During the meal, the girlfriend and my SO decide they want to go for a "smoke break". So they both get up and leave the table leaving me alone for about 10 minutes. I felt a little uncomfortable and it felt a little "forever alone-ish".
Normal reaction, or over-reaction?
Normal reaction, or over-reaction?
traditions are made to be broken!
could be, she did pitch it like it was a while in the making.
i'm really just annoyed with her right now i think.
i'm really just annoyed with her right now i think.
A little bit over-reaction, I think. 10 minutes is a bit long, but it's nothing to get upset over. I'm not sure why you'd get upset over this though.
Just chill out, relaxl and listen to some music or something to let it go. I bet by tomorrow, when you're more level-headed, you'll have a completely different view of the situation. Remember, she did bring up the situation, and she told you she was sorry about it.
This is where your problem lies. Self-limiting beliefs and all that jazz. Being unattractive is impossible when you have all those qualities you describe. Girls aren't nearly as hung up on looks as guys are and the fact that you sound like a fun, social person to be around is probably enough for a lot of girls. It's mostly about the way you make a girl feel.
Being unattractive physically is probably as much of a roadblock as being small or something. As long as you take care of yourself and don't look like you care it barely matters.
I'm about 1m70 myself (that's 5 foot 6 I think?), average looking and weigh about 130lbs, although I used to weigh a lot less (110lbs maybe) and still my girlfriend is one of the smartest and prettiest girls I know. This is because I don't care about my height or weight or looks, which in turn makes her not care. Of course now she likes the way I look, but that's because she likes me because I'm funny and a good conversationalist. Not the other way around. (And these are the things that kept her invested even when I was a hardcore drug addict, because they're things she likes about me that are a lot more 'me' than just the way I look.)
Boozeroony
Member
You could've taken a nice shit. Or flirt with cute girls. Or both.
YoYo Switch
Banned
Well, this is a strange turn of events...
Maybe GAF can smack some sense into me.
I work as a production assistant for a theatre group that works with children. I've been enjoying work and I've met some awesome people.
Of those people is this girl. We get along pretty well, talk a lot etc. For the past 2 weekends (which is when I work) I've been sort of picking up the vibe that she may be flirting with me.
She laughs at most of the things I say, teases me and pokes fun at me a lot, and I just caught her doing the "playing with her hair" thing.
And just today, after cracking some stupid inappropiate joke, she starts resting her head on my shoulder. After a little bit, called her a jerk (in a playful way) and pushed her off, and then she'd lean back again.
Only thing is. I'm 18 and she's 23...
So GAF, I'm going crazy, right? I'm projecting things, aren't I?
Maybe GAF can smack some sense into me.
I work as a production assistant for a theatre group that works with children. I've been enjoying work and I've met some awesome people.
Of those people is this girl. We get along pretty well, talk a lot etc. For the past 2 weekends (which is when I work) I've been sort of picking up the vibe that she may be flirting with me.
She laughs at most of the things I say, teases me and pokes fun at me a lot, and I just caught her doing the "playing with her hair" thing.
And just today, after cracking some stupid inappropiate joke, she starts resting her head on my shoulder. After a little bit, called her a jerk (in a playful way) and pushed her off, and then she'd lean back again.
Only thing is. I'm 18 and she's 23...
So GAF, I'm going crazy, right? I'm projecting things, aren't I?
Well, barring some sort of little-brother attachment, I'd say you've got an admirer. The age... Well, it's certainly unconventional, but there's nothing wrong with it as long as you're of age.
I say this on the assumption that yes, she is into you.
shanshan310
Member
18 and 23 ain't such a big difference, so don't worry about that part so much. I don't think you're being crazy, she seems kinda into you. Gogogogogogo.
Vermillion
Banned
Hey... cold showers are supposed to make your skin look better, correct? What if you do warm then cold?
She's either in to you, or because you work in theater (I'm stereotyping here) thinks your gay.
Go for it dude, either way she'll be suprised!
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
Overreaction, girls tend to gossip a lot, and also had to talk about you. And hey, sometimes we do take our time.
She seems to be into you, but she might consider you a friend an be overtly friendly.
Next OT should be "Of over-thinking a handshake"
Blue Ninja
Member
Saw the ex again after almost a month. Was feeling a bit better up 'til that point, now I'm down again.
shanshan310
Member
This might be the case too. In particular girls in the theatrical field in my experience tend to be more... friendly with everyone.
I went through the same thing recently, I met up with her for coffee felt pretty bad afterwards. You just need to restrain from looking at her facebook etc and just keep yourself busy! If I can get over someone so can you!
HarryHengst
Member
Dont meet up with your ex for at least a year after breaking up. Thats pretty much rule numbero uno. Also, delete her facebook profile from your friends list, unfollow her twitter and her tumblr and her instagram and her Okcupid profile, everything. Sever, sever more, sever completely.
edit: Chinner knows whats up. High five for him.
edit: Chinner knows whats up. High five for him.
I really need to re-write my story. Already taken girls are all over me, and one in particular, and it's getting both ridiculous and dangerous :S I've been getting both romantic and sexual vibes from someone I shouldn't recently. I kinda like it, which is even worse. Too bad single girls don't act this way.
Blue Ninja
Member
I just stopped going on Facebook altogether. :lol It's easier to avoid her that way.
Something like that. I've had the impression for quite a while that taken women show much more interest in me and flirt a lot more than single girls. And our silly minds work in a way that tend to "prove" these theories of ours simply by making sure we notice the evidence that support the current belief by filtering out the things that could ruin it.
So if you work hard to change that belief into something else, new evidence, that has always been present but effectively invisible to you, will start to show up more. That's precisely why dumb ideas like "I'm too ugly to get hit on or have hot women approach me" are bad for you because when an interested woman actually is talking to you, the chances of you noticing it for what it is, are slim at best.
If more people simply closed their eyes and vividly imagined what it would look like to have hot women, or whatever, happen to them regularly, in time it would happen regurlarly. Making a short three point list of positive things you want in your life, telling yourself you already have them, and more, isn't that hard to do.
My date on Friday with the girl from OKCupid was awesome.
We went to a carnival, got on rides, won a plush dog at the shooting range, looked out over the whole city from the ferris wheel, walked through the shopping district and ended the date at a small café where we talked and had a drink.
I then brought her to her bus stop and we kissed goodbye.
She's pretty awesome so far and I'm looking forward to seeing her again wednesday night.
She's really busy this week cause she just moved here, but is also excited about meeting again.
We went to a carnival, got on rides, won a plush dog at the shooting range, looked out over the whole city from the ferris wheel, walked through the shopping district and ended the date at a small café where we talked and had a drink.
I then brought her to her bus stop and we kissed goodbye.
She's pretty awesome so far and I'm looking forward to seeing her again wednesday night.
She's really busy this week cause she just moved here, but is also excited about meeting again.
I've been talking to this girl, she seems nice, lives kinda close by and is easy to talk to...but I just don't feel a click with her for some reason. I don't know why. it's kinda of annoying because that other girl who I DID have a click with...well, it probably won't work out. But this girl it could work out but I'm not sure if I want it too...
Don't do it if it's not fun. Sure, you can give her another chance or hang in there for a bit longer, but don't overextend your stay if you're not enjoying yourself.
Excuses -- even though I love a good SF reference! If you think that, you've not met enough women yet.
It's like you can keep saying all of your GFs are crazy. If you keep going you'll meet one who's actually level-headed and awesome.
Dating's a numbers game even when you've found people who agree to go out with you, in short.
It's like you can keep saying all of your GFs are crazy. If you keep going you'll meet one who's actually level-headed and awesome.
Dating's a numbers game even when you've found people who agree to go out with you, in short.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
When I like them, they don't like me, when they like me, I don't like them.
Give her another shot, you might need to get to know her better.
Don't stick with someone just because it's safe, you should always try to be with someone who makes you feel good.
This post was great.
Already starting to feel a lot better regarding my breakup a few days ago.
I was already feeling better yesterday. Then, while it felt like I was breaking some kind of rule or something, I emailed my ex and told her that if she really does want to keep in touch and stay friends, I'm open to the idea of trying it out. I told her that I was too busy and it was too early to know exactly what that means now, but I'd be in touch. Felt better after sending that too.
I think the reality is that I was less stressed about breaking up with her specifically than I was about the simple fact that this is a pretty big change in my life.
Vacation coming up in a couple weeks. I'll be traveling to hang out with grad school friends, high school friends, and visiting family for a while.
After that, it will be time to get back on the saddle.
I'm going to find someone better. I don't even doubt that. Hell, I am starting to look forward to the process.
Last time I dealt with something like this, my solution was just to go around being awesome. Worked out all the time, got straight A's, went drinking more often etc. I am sure that the "positive energy" associated with that time frame was what attracted my ex to me to begin with when we first got together.
And soon enough, I plan on blowing that last go-around out of the water.
So rock on, dating-gaf.
No, I haven't met enough women! I'm not denying that at all. But it seems to be the current trend. I mean, one girl basically said to come over and have sex...but I'm just not into her that way. And this one seems really nice and everything but she's missing that...hell, I dunno, a certain spark I like. I can't explain it. I'm still not even sure what I like in a woman, my brain just picks and chooses whatever the hell it wants.
And the one I DID like recently, well, it might still be ok but nothing big will become on it. Should be able to get another date, though she lives in another city so I won't be next week and I'm not expecting her to "wait".
Why not? Stop defeating yourself. The gun hasn't even gone off yet and you're walking away from the starting line because you think you won't finish the race? How do you know? Don't assume.
She was either fucking with you or is trying to make it seem like it's normal because she actually wants to peg you.
No, I mean it's a long distance thing and we've met once. I'm not expecting her too and won't be very upset if she doesn't BUT I'm going up there soon(next month) and will send her a message asking to meet up again regardless. She seemed keen on it. She's slow as hell at replying to texts and isn't on facebook so contacting her outside of face to face can be a pain. I never really intended it to be a full relationship but if we end up having some fun, even if it's just now and then, then so be it.
If she was local, I'd go for a relationship.
(reposting from the OKC thread)
Going out on a date this Saturday to see capsule
Hoping to have lunch and / or hit up an arcade on the way there.
Thanks GAF!
Good luck, dude!
I know the feeling. Knowing you can't have her is enticing xD
Probably because they've got theirs and are more friendly because of this. They're not constantly on guard because even if you're hitting on them, they've got a BF already. Just my guess.
It's like how guys often get all this attention when they're already dating someone. It's because they don't reek of desperation.
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