I dont get it. lol.
Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
- Thread starter soultron
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I dont get it. lol.
that one guy who brings beer to a party and it turns out it's just a small social gathering and over half of the people attending have quit drinking
and then everyone thinks "wow, that dude is a douche"
he's just misunderstood
FallingEdge
Member
Damn dood. I'm sorry to hear.
Hold on, be strong and I hope it all works out for the best.
I've never had a girl hit on me so I disagree. Waiting is a bad idea, do the hiting yourself works much better.
She's been doing all kinds of fucking or drugs or both is what he probably means. Fuck that shit. She will eventually tell you, so I would cut contact man.
Bucket-o-roadkill
Member
Quite an eye opening evening. so I've been chatting on Skype and Facebook to this girl I met, things were going quite positively... well so I thought. about a week ago she almost vanishes, hardly any decent conversation, seems distant, 2 word texts, etc.. you all know what that means as much as I do. New guy alert!! so I make a comment over the weekend of her being quiet, everything ok?? the usual drivel.. she says she's ill, and may be for the foreseeable. lol what? so then Sunday night she says she's been busy and can't talk much. ok. Monday she's online all night, changing pictures on skype, obviously on there... I don't hear anything. so I thought fuck this, next! removed off of Facebook and Skype.
I got a text today saying how she logged in to chat to me only to find I had removed her, and how harsh that was etc. I explained how she went cold so took the hint, she goes weird saying how she wasn't really online last night, her laptop was backing up! wow back up software which changes Skype profile pics, amazing...
I pull her up on the Skype pics and she loses it completely saying her mind set of me is different now, we shouldn't talk, im not her shrink (haha!) and some other shit. nice looking girl but obviously dishonest as FUCK, sly, self centered and a total nut job, not to mention a hilariously bad liar. bullet dodged!! what a cow!
I got a text today saying how she logged in to chat to me only to find I had removed her, and how harsh that was etc. I explained how she went cold so took the hint, she goes weird saying how she wasn't really online last night, her laptop was backing up! wow back up software which changes Skype profile pics, amazing...
I pull her up on the Skype pics and she loses it completely saying her mind set of me is different now, we shouldn't talk, im not her shrink (haha!) and some other shit. nice looking girl but obviously dishonest as FUCK, sly, self centered and a total nut job, not to mention a hilariously bad liar. bullet dodged!! what a cow!Dr Duncan Steel
Member
Thanks for playing me girl!
Asks me to hang out with her over the summer.
Never picks up phone for the last 3 days.
Asks me to hang out with her over the summer.
Never picks up phone for the last 3 days.
Please tell me I'm doing something wrong here...
Quite an eye opening evening. so I've been chatting on Skype and Facebook to this girl I met, things were going quite positively... well so I thought. about a week ago she almost vanishes, hardly any decent conversation, seems distant, 2 word texts, etc.. you all know what that means as much as I do. New guy alert!! so I make a comment over the weekend of her being quiet, everything ok?? the usual drivel.. she says she's ill, and may be for the foreseeable. lol what? so then Sunday night she says she's been busy and can't talk much. ok. Monday she's online all night, changing pictures on skype, obviously on there... I don't hear anything. so I thought fuck this, next! removed off of Facebook and Skype.
I got a text today saying how she logged in to chat to me only to find I had removed her, and how harsh that was etc. I explained how she went cold so took the hint, she goes weird saying how she wasn't really online last night, her laptop was backing up! wow back up software which changes Skype profile pics, amazing...
Is this serious? Seems like a harsh reaction for someone that was just hard to get in touch with.
Smelly Tramp
Member
yeh so we met on mutual terms. i proposed we'd go on a break this summer, she agreed. we still love each other very much, she said she'd take this summer to improve herself for me, but i'm not holding out.
i'm going to a festival in spain in 6 weeks, we have our own villa and i know girls will be easy pickings, especially with me being the best looking out of the group of 5 guys i'm going with.
needless to say, i'm single this summer. and i plan to screw as many girls as possible. if i still want her after summer, well then i can have her. the ball is firmly in my court. i'll see how i feel after experimenting. i know i can't expect her not to do the same.
we shall see.
i'm going to a festival in spain in 6 weeks, we have our own villa and i know girls will be easy pickings, especially with me being the best looking out of the group of 5 guys i'm going with.
needless to say, i'm single this summer. and i plan to screw as many girls as possible. if i still want her after summer, well then i can have her. the ball is firmly in my court. i'll see how i feel after experimenting. i know i can't expect her not to do the same.
we shall see.
Alright. So. This is crazy. Apparently she was cheating on me with more than one guy last winter, met them online, is a crazy sex addict, was planing on breaking up with me since last October, hates that I play video games and told these other guys she was in love with them, and then told them they were just for sex. She didn't break up with me because she owed me money. She said I was just an innocent bystander and that it was all her, to him.
So. After learning that. I don't know her. 5 years. Just gone. I don't want to remember anything good about her anymore. I literally hate her now. I want to tell her I know.
This is a terrible feeling.
Z
ZombieFred
Unconfirmed Member
Shit man that sounds awful, that's got to play with your head. Just think that it wasn't anything more serious or commitments and it was only five years of your time. You will find someone else, don't worry. Ignore and cut all ties so please trust me on this. Don't risk your health.
I can't make you feel any better, but I can say that you're not alone with your story and many, many men have felt this betrayal before. We've all been there, to greater or lesser degrees.
All you can do is learn from the mistakes.
Also, never, ever, ever loan money out to friends or lovers. It never ends well.
Over the last 3 days? I would try once and give it a week at the earliest.
I knew this wouldn't end well. She was playing games with you. Told you you would find out about the dick she was having. Now you know. I highly suggest you simply never talk to her again. What are you going to do, confront her about all that dick? She's going to go into detail, make you feel little, tell you how much she enjoyed it all and tell you you're a loser in an indirect manner. FUUUUUCK that. Never communicate with her again. If she has any friends you can fuck, do it.
Thanks guys. I should have listened earlier and cut everything out. She really was a completely different person than I ever thought of her being. She's crazy, manipulative, and a terrible terrible person for doing any of that. It took balls from that guy to tell me, since he said he loved her and vice versa, last Christmas, and she hurt him. Very sneaky on her part.
I feel like I should say to her I know. But maybe thats just the shock I'm feeling right now. I haven't ate today and probably won't sleep.
My friend thats a girl is spending the night with me and helping with this. I asked her to since we just got done having sex and that guy called me about my ex.
So many things running through my head. So many thoughts about her the past 2 months that it's pushed everything else out. I'm so upset now but can't cry. I'm just so mad.
Ugh.
I feel like I should say to her I know. But maybe thats just the shock I'm feeling right now. I haven't ate today and probably won't sleep.
My friend thats a girl is spending the night with me and helping with this. I asked her to since we just got done having sex and that guy called me about my ex.
So many things running through my head. So many thoughts about her the past 2 months that it's pushed everything else out. I'm so upset now but can't cry. I'm just so mad.
Ugh.
You regularly sleep with your friends?
I'm starting to think there's a big part of the story we're not being told...
I met her after me and my ex broke up. I told her I don't want anything serious and she doesnt either. We became good friends but still have sex. It's helped a bit and she's been there for me through this.
We've both been through long relationships and break ups and talked about them so this revelation today shocked us both.
And no I don't sleep with my friends on a regular basis lol.
Don't ever talk to her. If you tell her you know, then it will only bring her joy. Fuck that. Nice stealth brag, don't worry about the ex, just concentrate on your friend and giving her many orgasms.
Hypereides
Member
Quite an eye opening evening. so I've been chatting on Skype and Facebook to this girl I met, things were going quite positively... well so I thought. about a week ago she almost vanishes, hardly any decent conversation, seems distant, 2 word texts, etc.. you all know what that means as much as I do. New guy alert!! so I make a comment over the weekend of her being quiet, everything ok?? the usual drivel.. she says she's ill, and may be for the foreseeable. lol what? so then Sunday night she says she's been busy and can't talk much. ok. Monday she's online all night, changing pictures on skype, obviously on there... I don't hear anything. so I thought fuck this, next! removed off of Facebook and Skype.
I got a text today saying how she logged in to chat to me only to find I had removed her, and how harsh that was etc. I explained how she went cold so took the hint, she goes weird saying how she wasn't really online last night, her laptop was backing up! wow back up software which changes Skype profile pics, amazing...
How long have you been talking together?
Other people have lives too ya know, and deleting her was pretty much game over for you man. An emotional response is a sign of weakness. You got frustrated and upset because you were so set on this girl before it even got serious.
You were way too emotionally invested in this. Dont go that way again unless you and your upcoming girl are a "thing". Thats pretty much overreacting.
Classic she-wolf/seductress/heartbreaker pattern. I should know, cause Im seeing one right now, currently.
Which is fine, cause Im a wolf myself.
Usually the more innocent and silent they look, the more freaky they tend to be
Also learn to not involve emotions and feelings with such women/girls. There are usually telling signs that expose her. Mostly her body language.
Alright I'm currently in a really good relationship. One issue just popped up....
Last night, an old prospect of mine from last year texted me. She simply said she wanted to see me. I called her. It didn't take long.for us, to start flirting and talking dirty. Anyway, she found it amusing quite flattering.
To make a long story short, we made plans to have dinner and, drinks this Friday. I'm sure some sexual scandalousness will go down...I like my girl, and don't want to be a cheating asshole. I just can't help myself. I love to flirt abd love to tease. I have a really high sex drive, a big heart and the best (or maybe not) intentions.I don't want to hurt my GF, but I also don't want to miss out on what could be a good time either.
I never thought I'd be in a situation like this. Fuck.
oh and sorry for the shitty post. typing on a phone sucks.
Last night, an old prospect of mine from last year texted me. She simply said she wanted to see me. I called her. It didn't take long.for us, to start flirting and talking dirty. Anyway, she found it amusing quite flattering.
To make a long story short, we made plans to have dinner and, drinks this Friday. I'm sure some sexual scandalousness will go down...I like my girl, and don't want to be a cheating asshole. I just can't help myself. I love to flirt abd love to tease. I have a really high sex drive, a big heart and the best (or maybe not) intentions.I don't want to hurt my GF, but I also don't want to miss out on what could be a good time either.
I never thought I'd be in a situation like this. Fuck.
oh and sorry for the shitty post. typing on a phone sucks.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
Sounds like she's the one who dodged a bullet.Quite an eye opening evening. so I've been chatting on Skype and Facebook to this girl I met, things were going quite positively... well so I thought. about a week ago she almost vanishes, hardly any decent conversation, seems distant, 2 word texts, etc.. you all know what that means as much as I do. New guy alert!! so I make a comment over the weekend of her being quiet, everything ok?? the usual drivel.. she says she's ill, and may be for the foreseeable. lol what? so then Sunday night she says she's been busy and can't talk much. ok. Monday she's online all night, changing pictures on skype, obviously on there... I don't hear anything. so I thought fuck this, next! removed off of Facebook and Skype.
I got a text today saying how she logged in to chat to me only to find I had removed her, and how harsh that was etc. I explained how she went cold so took the hint, she goes weird saying how she wasn't really online last night, her laptop was backing up! wow back up software which changes Skype profile pics, amazing...
Yes, you can. You're just making excuses so if something happens you won't feel guilty.
Don't want to hurt the gf? Don't tell the gf.
Hypereides
Member
If you feel you want to stay faithfull, while being tempted.. I wouldnt go there.
Both you and Xun need to focus on stablising your lives first, before you start focusing on those issues. You get too hooked up on finding somebody right away when the roots of conflict mostly lie within yourselves right now.
In other words, work on straightening out your "inner game" first.
You have serious morality problems. Do not cheat.
I've always thought "morality" was bullshit term. Very few things are black and white. Most things are circumstantial.
In this case...ugh....If I go out on Friday and strictly make it platonic, then no harm done.
Smelly Tramp
Member
Are you joking? You are the worst of the worst.
How do you deal with being cheated on Gaf.. I'm a fool for missing the red flags.. But I tied together all the dots and cOnfronted her about it and now she just dissappears without a response... I'm just a sensitive person in general so it's hard for me to get myself together and build my confidence up to move foward
Hypereides
Member
Unfortunate how these last few pages have been mostly about cheating and deception issues in relationships... and its summer season.
Ironically thats where most romances begin, and end by the cold winter season.
I got nothing else to say than, move on and learn from your mistakes. You'll become stronger in the bonds that are broken.
Funny enough, we started dating last august. You're right though, just need to keep myself occupied. Time to start working out again!
Why haven't you told your girlfriend?
This attitude here is a problem. It's a "nice guy" attitude where you expect her to act a certain way because you are the only one who can deal with her. You need to look at yourself and the attitude you have towards your relationship.
Also, quit trying to place the blame on her flatmates. This is strictly on her. She is an adult and can make her own decisions. Wanting to get violent towards someone will only hurt you and do no good.
Yeah. Deleting her from Facebook and Skype is over the top. It can appear sometimes that people are ignoring/avoiding you online when in reality they just have other things to do. You just see them as 'online' and assume that means they are available. It isn't always the case though.
I will say though, if I tried to contact a girl without any decent response, I would probably stop contacting her. It is on her to contact you then. It could be that she is ignoring you or just not interested, so I would rather leave it up to her. If she was just busy, well, she is aware that you contacted her, it doesn't take much to text or phone back when she has the time and explain the situation.
I think deleting her off facebook was just a kneejerk reaction. He was reading between the lines and came to the conclusion that she is interested in someone else.
Yeah I'm terrible because I'm thinking this out and trying to find a happy medium where no one gets hurt.
Uhhhh...really?
Look I'll just keep things low key. I can still get my jollies off by flirting and going out. As long as I don't go further than that, I think everything well be alright. Then again, who knows what her intentions are....
I think you're just asking for trouble. Its usually best to stay clear of those kind of situations if you're in a relationship and happy.
Would you really be ok if your gf had a similar situation? And said the same things you're saying now?
Many girls have back up dudes. He may as well have a back up girl. Go for it PXG, hang out, flirt, have fun.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
If you have no intentions to do anything beyond that, you should be open about it. No reason to be secretive.
Why can't you answer the question of "Why haven't you told your girlfriend?"
shanshan310
Member
Well, good work there. Why'd you make plans to cheat on her if you don't want to cheat on her genius? Its simple. Pick one, your girlfriend or this other chick. You can't have your cake and eat it too. Coming in here right after a couple of guys found out their girlfriends had been cheating too. smh. Go back and read their posts, and then have a good think about your plan of action.
If you really want to fuck girls on the side tell your girlfriend you want an open relationship.
Only shitty girls who aren't worth dating.
Smelly Tramp
Member
Yeh you're right. I'm going to concentrate on becoming a better person this summer. I need to improve my life situation, i've just finished my degree and have no idea what kind of field of employment i want to pursue. Everything in my life is so up in the air and uncertain at the minute, but i know 4 things i have to do.
1) Get a job,
2) Learn how to drive
3) Buy a car and get some independence, and;
4) Most importantly - have a good time.
If i want her back after all of this (i plan to make all of this happen in the next 4 months). then i'll have her back. And if i am having a great time being single, then i won't.
For now, starting with monday, i'm going to start going to the gym and getting buff, so i look and feel good
And this guy, my god, i know i'm hurt but your advice is terrible. Something bad must have happened to you to have this little respect for a relationship.
Attackthebase
Member
...So you lack self-control is what you're telling us.
There's an easy way out of this. Call your ex, and tell her something came up and don't contact her again. Your current GF won't get hurt, you won't fuck with your own moral code, it's really, really simple.
(And yes, writing on Gaf or Facebook using a phone is a pain in the ass!)
shanshan310
Member
This x1000000000.
Also good luck to you
I hope it all works out. Make sure these four months are the funnest you've ever had.
Z
ZombieFred
Unconfirmed Member
I don't get why someone needs a "backup" because that devoids a part of trust and loyalty when having a relationship. I've had my experience on this and I'm happy to say that loyalty and commitment is a great thing to have when together and those are traits I am not going to throw away.
Exactly, it's a pretty sad attitude to have and shows a severe lack of trust complex. Which is understandable if people have been cheated on before, but you have to LEARN from the wounds to keep them from happening again, not let them twist your view forever.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
If you really "can't help it" I dunno why you'd ever start a monogamous relationship rather than just having an open one.
If you "Can't help it" you'd better GET professional help so you learn to be able to help it, because that attitude will destroy any long-term relationships, not to mention the disaster any family will be if born from that kind of distrust.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
No, I already said saying you can't help it is just an excuse. But if you really like boning people other than your partner so much, it's much better to try and have an open relationship rather than just lying.
Of course, an open relationship requires a level of mutual trust I'm pretty sure he couldn't have.
I could understand a Junior/new(er) member asking this question here, but you? :lol Come on, PXG.
I would go and have a good time, if I were you. But hey, I was also a bit of an asshole when I was bachelor.
Hypereides
Member
Truth, thats the 11th commandment, right there.
I know myself well enough that a monogamous relationship wouldnt work for me nor my partner. So rather than hurting us both and create conflict we choose the alternative.
You know...what the Fuck was I thinking....
I'll still chill with her, but no dirty shit. If she makes move, well I don't know. It will be hard to turn off the charm. But hey, most of my friends are female anyway. I have no issues spending time with them. Then again, most of them aren't single either. I'm not tempted to make moves an woman who is taken.
Still, I really like my GF. She's a great girl. I'm sure I won't initiate anything too stupid to tarnish our relationship or be considered a jerk.
Still, as exciting as this is...it bothers, me a bit. Why have I started thinking this easy...
I'll still chill with her, but no dirty shit. If she makes move, well I don't know. It will be hard to turn off the charm. But hey, most of my friends are female anyway. I have no issues spending time with them. Then again, most of them aren't single either. I'm not tempted to make moves an woman who is taken.
Still, I really like my GF. She's a great girl. I'm sure I won't initiate anything too stupid to tarnish our relationship or be considered a jerk.
Still, as exciting as this is...it bothers, me a bit. Why have I started thinking this easy...
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