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[georgc]

You really, honestly, 100% believe that?

You're saying some super-nerdy guy, or some real fat guy can get with whoever they want to? Hell, not even that, just someone with an ugly face can do that? That's just not true.

Yes yes I do believe that, there're other circumstances that come into play such as money, political status things of that nature that would account for how female would look at you. But looks are a factor but they're a small factor unless in extreme cases, but I believe that you should be okay.

You just don't know, man. I'm just tired of it all; I'm tired of being ignored or overlooked because I'm not fucking handsome or even tolerable for any kind of women I may be interested. I can't help it, I can't blame them though, it's not their fault. It just is what it is.

Would you be able to post the picture?

 

[LProtag]

You just don't know, man. I'm just tired of it all; I'm tired of being ignored or overlooked because I'm not fucking handsome or even tolerable for any kind of women I may be interested. I can't help it, I can't blame them though, it's not their fault. It just is what it is.

If you're that tired of it, do something to make yourself feel different. Change up your haircut or get a new style. I don't know what to tell you. Maybe you'll be less defeated if you feel like you have a somewhat fresh start.

 

[Pollux]

Dude, get some sleep. Not being condescending or anything, you just really sound like you need it, haha. You'll feel better in the morning (unless you drank way too much).

Haha I'm not contemplating the priesthood now, just when she first left me lol. And I'm relatively sober now...

I don't want to sleep because I'm contemplating a future without her, and I'm starting to feel better.

When i was younger, almost four years ago before we started dating, I would go to frat parties and shit all the time and that was emotionally fulfilling to me. Now I go to these clubs and I feel empty no matter what happens. If I hook up with a girl or not I feel the same at the end of the night.

Maybe my outlook on life has changed, but I no longer get any satisfaction out of "hooking up" with girls...I don't know what that says about me, but I do know that it makes me feel like I'm "broken" b/c that's what I used to enjoy doing. Part of me believes that since that is what I used to do, now that I'm single I should be all about doing that again. I've tried, I mean I've gone out almost every night for the last couple weeks, and I just feel empty.

I think I'm just going to take a week or two to myself. Maybe read some books or play some games that I've been putting off b/c of school. I've been putting off Aquinas' "Summa Theologica" for months. I think I'll finally start reading that. I think I might need to stop going out so much, and just need to focus on me until I'm back in Kentucky, and then I can try meeting people again.

I'm sorry for rambling, I just need someone to dump this shit on. It's amazing how much GAF has become a support for me in a number of aspects of my life. Thanks y'all for being there and always willing to just shoot the shit.

Edit: Speaking of looks, am I an ugly dude? be honest.

 

[Izick]

Would you be able to post the picture?

My hesitation is that someone that knows me may see it.

If you're that tired of it, do something to make yourself feel different. Change up your haircut or get a new style. I don't know what to tell you. Maybe you'll be less defeated if you feel like you have a somewhat fresh start.

I was, or actually currently am trying that. I used to have a buzz or short hair, but now I'm trying long hair, and I see no real difference then that. Whatever the problem(s) are, they can't be hidden by just a haircut.

 

[Prologue]

You just don't know, man. I'm just tired of it all; I'm tired of being ignored or overlooked because I'm not fucking handsome or even tolerable for any kind of women I may be interested. I can't help it, I can't blame them though, it's not their fault. It just is what it is.

Save the negativity for somewhere else please. You said your piece and people gave advice. You don't want to listen to the feedback, thats fine. Just don't bring negativity in here.

 

[Izick]

Save the negativity for somewhere else please. You said your piece and people gave advice. You don't want to listen to the feedback, thats fine. Just don't bring negativity in here.

Then don't reply to me.

 

[LProtag]

Haha I'm not contemplating the priesthood now, just when she first left me lol. And I'm relatively sober now...

I don't want to sleep because I'm contemplating a future without her, and I'm starting to feel better.

When i was younger, almost four years ago before we started dating, I would go to frat parties and shit all the time and that was emotionally fulfilling to me. Now I go to these clubs and I feel empty no matter what happens. If I hook up with a girl or not I feel the same at the end of the night.

Maybe my outlook on life has changed, but I no longer get any satisfaction out of "hooking up" with girls...I don't know what that says about me, but I do know that it makes me feel like I'm "broken" b/c that's what I used to enjoy doing. Part of me believes that since that is what I used to do, now that I'm single I should be all about doing that again. I've tried, I mean I've gone out almost every night for the last couple weeks, and I just feel empty.

I think I'm just going to take a week or two to myself. Maybe read some books or play some games that I've been putting off b/c of school. I've been putting off Aquinas' "Summa Theologica" for months. I think I'll finally start reading that. I think I might need to stop going out so much, and just need to focus on me until I'm back in Kentucky, and then I can try meeting people again.

I'm sorry for rambling, I just need someone to dump this shit on. It's amazing how much GAF has become a support for me in a number of aspects of my life. Thanks y'all for being there and always willing to just shoot the shit.

Edit: Speaking of looks, am I an ugly dude? be honest.

Haha, alright. I wouldn't worry about feeling different about what you're doing with your life. I'm 23, relatively young still, and I never feel like going out to clubs. I'll go to dive bars every once and a while but only to meet up with friends or see local bands (yeah yeah, I go to the hipster dive bar). It's just not something I've felt good about. For other people though, it totally works and they enjoy it. It just sounds like you're at a different point in your life and you're ready for something different.

I think I was talking to you before about the fact that we both had breakups recently (I changed my name from InsertNameHere and changed my avatar so I'm totally incognito now, heh). I'm trying to do some of the same kind of things. I was never really active, so I've started going to the gym every day now. It's helping me feel better and it's helping me change up the old routines I've always been locked into.

Sounds like you've got a bit of a plan already, go for it. Even just reading and playing games can make you feel better.

 

[Prologue]

Then don't reply to me.

How about you don't post anymore with your attitude? I'm surprised you're not banned yet. Just drop it.

 

[Emwitus]

She sounds hesitant to see you outside of the workplace, which means she's more than likely only going to see you as a coworker/friend. It could change, but as of right now, that's the case.


This is a very dangerous mindset to get into. A lot of us refer to it as "one-itis," which you can google for more information.

I dealt with a similar situation for around 4 years. Eventually, I got to the point where I just went for it, made my intentions known, and told her that if she couldn't handle it now, she was never going to be able to. She decided she couldn't, and I was finally able to move on. It sucked at first but honestly, it was one of the best decisions I ever made. It was a huge weight off my shoulders and I've since met women who are far more amazing and better for me in just about every way.

I'm not trying to deter you from starting a relationship with her, but the fact that she's been indirectly responsible for keeping you out of relationships for 5 years is extremely unhealthy and in a lot of ways, manipulative. You need to do something about it sooner rather than later.


Awesome. Are you going to give her a call or just hold onto the story?

EDIT: Who am I kidding? Of course you're not going to call her.

Thanks for your thoughts Lucky!! I've actually thought about letting her know about this, but i think the issue has been i'm afraid to lose her if I admit how i feel. We do talk, since our families are close alas I agree with your assesment. I'll have tell her SOONER rather than later. Gotta get that courage to do it first

It sounds like the two of you have no chance at getting a relationship, yet are still interested in one.
It doesn't seem to be good for either one of you so I'd suggest either trying to seriously get it together with her, or try your best moving on to another person.

Unfortunately, this might be true. But i guess i will never know for sure until i admit to her how i feel. It's funny sometimes i think the best thing that could happen for us is if either one of us settled down and got married lol. That's a pessimistic way of thinking about things, I know lol. Anyway, she's gonna call me today and i think this might be it. Wish me luck gaf!

 

[Prologue]

Thanks for your thoughts Lucky!! I've actually thought about letting her know about this, but i think the issue has been i'm afraid to lose her if I admit how i feel. We do talk, since our families are close alas I agree with your assesment. I'll have tell her SOONER rather than later. Gotta get that courage to do it first

The bigger the risk, the bigger reward.

 

[LProtag]

My hesitation is that someone that knows me may see it.

We already told you, put it in as a link that can only show up when it's quoted. That will reduce the chances of just any person coming by and seeing you. It'd have to be someone actively taking an effort and they'd have to be a member.

 

[The Technomancer]

Goddamnit I wish my ability to recognize if someone was attracted to me hadn't been completely fried by the stint with the bipolar girl.

 

[bjb]

Goddamnit I wish my ability to recognize if someone was attracted to me hadn't been completely fried by the stint with the bipolar girl.

You haven't dealt with anything till you've stepped into the borderline arena my friend =P

 

[Izick]

How about you don't post anymore with your attitude? I'm surprised you're not banned yet. Just drop it.

You don't control anything or have some sort control over users or have any more clout then any other user, so don't pretend you do. It's dumb and childish, and just comes off as hostile. None of the mods have said anything to me about stop posting in this thread, and I'm not sure why a strict "nothing bad about life/dating" policy would be in place either, but if it is, then I'll stop.

Also, there is always going to be negativity, even if you try and block it out with all your willpower. Just because you have a happy-go-lucky life, doesn't mean that everyone else does, and just because, in this case, you have luck with women, doesn't mean that everyone else does. Maybe some people have shitty luck with women. Maybe some people are completely hopeless with them. Maybe the person has used all the advice that was given, and doesn't know where else to go. It's definitely a possibility.

Either way though, if MANY people don't want me in the thread anymore because I'm creating some sort of disturbance, then I won't.

 

[Emwitus]

The bigger the risk, the bigger reward.

I just hope when it comes down to it i can live with the risks lol. I guess that's why i think it's never a good idea to date your best friend...

 

[Deleted member 80556]

So I am back from my trip (which none of you might remember, since no one replied to my post), and honestly, I am disappointed.

I don't know if I am not just a party person (mainly because I hate the damn songs they put), or if women see me as husband material-only, and thus do not want to have any kind of relationship. At the airport, me and my friends, just came to the same conclusion: Women (at least the ones we know of) are a manipulative girls (and not to say the actual insult they said heh).

The one girl I was interested in (or still am, still not sure) completely ignored me on the trip. However, at one point in the trip (the entirety of it was a continuous party) I think I got very drunk and started getting touchy with her, while she was with another guy. But she didn't say anything.

I seriously don't know what to make any of it. What I do know, is that I am kinda broken-hearted, after that, I think I danced with several women, of which I asked whether they wanted a kiss. Jesus, I can't remember that. When I was told I did that, I felt so fucking terrible.

I just feel that in the end of they day, one is bound to be solitary, and make leaps, to be truly happy. And I just have to wait for someone to take that leap with me. I hope.

EDIT: Annndd, nobody read this post either. Great.

 

[Pollux]

Haha, alright. I wouldn't worry about feeling different about what you're doing with your life. I'm 23, relatively young still, and I never feel like going out to clubs. I'll go to dive bars every once and a while but only to meet up with friends or see local bands (yeah yeah, I go to the hipster dive bar). It's just not something I've felt good about. For other people though, it totally works and they enjoy it. It just sounds like you're at a different point in your life and you're ready for something different.

I think I was talking to you before about the fact that we both had breakups recently (I changed my name from InsertNameHere and changed my avatar so I'm totally incognito now, heh). I'm trying to do some of the same kind of things. I was never really active, so I've started going to the gym every day now. It's helping me feel better and it's helping me change up the old routines I've always been locked into.

Sounds like you've got a bit of a plan already, go for it. Even just reading and playing games can make you feel better.

Yea, I definitely remember you. I'm glad it seems that you're doing much better. I need to PM a mod to get my name changed since it was my ex who always called me "zmoney".

I just can't think of anything to change it too....

 

[georgc]

I can't stop looking on her Facebook I miss her and now that some other guy is with her it's killing me. I should be crying but it won't come out. I want to get this pain over with.

 

[Pollux]

I can't stop looking on her Facebook I miss her and now that some other guy is with her it's killing me. I should be crying but it won't come out. I want to get this pain over with.

stop looking at her Facebook. i was doing the same thing earlier. just defriend the bitch and go to sleep.

 

[Prologue]

You don't control anything or have some sort of clout over users, so don't pretend you do. It's dumb and childish, and just comes off as hostile. None of the mods have said anything to me about stop posting in this thread, and I'm not sure why a strict "nothing bad about life/dating" policy would be in place either, but if it is, then I'll stop.

Also, there is always going to be negativity, even if you try and block it out with all your willpower. Just because you have a happy-go-lucky life, doesn't mean that everyone else does, and just because, in this case, you have luck with women, doesn't mean that everyone else does. Maybe some people have shitty luck with women. Maybe some people are completely hopeless with them. Maybe the person has used all the advice that was given, and doesn't know where else to go. It's definitely a possibility.

Either way though, if MANY people don't want me in the thread anymore because I'm creating some sort of disturbance, then I won't.

Obviously there is nothing wrong with voicing your frustrations in hope of getting some feedback for improvement. But you're clearly overdoing it. You keep repeating the same mantra over and over. It just brings down the thread. Who said anything about my life or my current relationship status? For all you know, my life is going down hill and my relationship is on the rocks. You assume everyone has it easier than you and you're the victim of the world. You said you tried everything but you even shot down the online dating avenue. Clearly you haven't tried everything.

 

[georgc]

stop looking at her Facebook. i was doing the same thing earlier. just defriend the bitch and go to sleep.

I wish I could sleep. The fact that she was trying to have a kid with this guy while lying to me hurts so bad.

 

[Pollux]

I wish I could sleep. The fact that she was trying to have a kid with this guy while lying to me hurts so bad.

I understand...seriously I do...but the best thing for you right now is to turn off the computer and go read a book. go to church or something and talk to a priest. learn how to sail. look into a new subject you've always been interested but never had time to learn.

become a new man...re-invent yourself...you can do it...

 

[Izick]

Obviously there is nothing wrong with voicing your frustrations in hope of getting some feedback for improvement. But you're clearly overdoing it. You keep repeating the same mantra over and over. It just brings down the thread. Who said anything about my life or my current relationship status? For all you know, my life is going down hill and my relationship is on the rocks. You assume everyone has it easier than you and you're the victim of the world. You said you tried everything but you even shot down the online dating avenue. Clearly you haven't tried everything.

Well, I just said I wasn't comfortable with the idea of online dating. I suppose I haven't exhausted every single avenue, but I just don't find the idea very appealing.

Also, I wasn't saying you had all those things, I was just saying that not everyone is going to be positive about shit.

 

[Prologue]

Well, I just said I wasn't comfortable with the idea of online dating. I suppose I haven't exhausted every single avenue, but I just don't find the idea very appealing.

Also, I wasn't saying you had all those things, I was just saying that not everyone is going to be positive about shit.

You need to learn to be positive even when it seems theres nothing to be positive about. We've all felt what you feel now, at some time or another. At the same time , we constantly try to pick ourselves up. God knows, I'm still battling my own demons.

My best friend got engaged yesterday to a girl he met on okcupid. Its good to be open to things. He was just as hesitant as you were and had a string of bad experiences on that site until he met her.

At the same time, it seems you might want a companion a bit too much. Sometimes when you want something bad enough, it just won't happen. Take a break from this scene for a bit. Make some progress in your career/education. Save some money, travel a bit. Work on you for a while. Take some fun classes(archery, marksmen,self-defense). Set some weekly and monthly goals for at least 6 months. Wether you believe it or not, you're going to meet someone lol. Not a matter of if, just when.

 

[Pollux]

You need to learn to be positive even when it seems theres nothing positive about. We've all felt what you feel now, at some time or another. At the same time , we constantly try to pick ourselves up. God knows, I'm still battling my own demons.

My best friend got engaged yesterday to a girl he met on okcupid. Its good to be open to things. He was just as hesitant as you were and had a string of bad experiences on that site until he met her.

At the same time, it seems you might want a companion a bit too much. Sometimes when you want something bad enough, it just won't happen. Take a break from this scene for a bit. Make some progress in your career/education. Save some money, travel a bit. Work on you for a while. Take some fun classes(archery, marksmen,self-defense). Set some weekly and monthly goals for at least 6 months. Wether you believe it or not, you're going to meet someone lol. Not a matter of if, just when.

Well said.

 

[Izick]

Maybe you're right, Prologue. It just sucks that it's been this way for as long as I can remember, but now's the only time I've ever really said something (well, I said the same stuff a few months ago in the last OT). I guess it was just to get it all out.

I honestly wasn't trying to be disruptive or annoying. I just don't know what to do. I appreciate all the advice people gave/give me, but I've tried all of it. I tried focusing on different things, I've tried changing up my look a bit, I've tried going out more, I've tried to be more positive, but after you try and try and try and you see no difference, you kind of just look back at it and go "well what the fuck did that accomplish?"

 

[The_Inquisitor]

I wish I could sleep. The fact that she was trying to have a kid with this guy while lying to me hurts so bad.

First thing you need to do is accept that you got hurt. Yes it fucking sucks. Most of us understand, we have all been fucked over in a relationship before. The stereotype is that men emotionally "abuse" women in relationships, but more and more I believe this is bullshit.

Once you have accepted you've been hurt, you need to spend alone time with yourself. Do you have many close friends? Did you lose touch with your friends because of your relationship (happens to a certain extent for all relationships)? Instead of empowering your ex by looking at her facebook, use facebook to reconnect with some people and have a board game night or something.

Yes at the moment it feels like you lost the world. And yes, you kind of did. But the beautiful thing about being human is that we have near infinite potential. And there is another potential girl out there who will love you for everything you are. But in order to find her (in time of course after a break) you need to be confident in yourself.

After you've spent some time doing things for yourself, you'll need to forgive yourself. This will be very hard. Yes, you allowed her to take advantage of you financially, emotionally, and physically. But it's not your fault. If you love some you should do almost anything for them. And you did. As far as I am concerned you did everything right.



I don't know if that helps, but we are here for you man.

 

[Prologue]

Maybe you're right, Prologue. It just sucks that it's been this way for as long as I can remember, but now's the only time I've ever really said something (well, I said the same stuff a few months ago in the last OT). I guess it was just to get it all out.

I honestly wasn't trying to be disruptive or annoying. I just don't know what to do. I appreciate all the advice people gave/give me, but I've tried all of it. I tried focusing on different things, I've tried changing up my look a bit, I've tried going out more, I've tried to be more positive, but after you try and try and try and you see no difference, you kind of just look back at it and go "well what the fuck did that accomplish?"

But you tried those things in some shape or form, in order to be with someone. Just take a break from this and do some things you've been wanting to do. I'm sure there are things you've been wanting to experience. Some places you've been wanting to see. Make plans, set goals. If friends want to tag along, thats great. If not thats great too. Some of the best things happen when you're riding solo. Remember, make your list just for you. Whats 6 months in the grand scheme of things? Another good friend of mine had his fiancé break his heart. He saved up whatever pennies he's could and he's traveling right now in Asia. You're telling me you won't be all smiles and giggles in Asia?

 

[georgc]

First thing you need to do is accept that you got hurt. Yes it fucking sucks. Most of us understand, we have all been fucked over in a relationship before. The stereotype is that men emotionally "abuse" women in relationships, but more and more I believe this is bullshit.

Once you have accepted you've been hurt, you need to spend alone time with yourself. Do you have many close friends? Did you lose touch with your friends because of your relationship (happens to a certain extent for all relationships)? Instead of empowering your ex by looking at her facebook, use facebook to reconnect with some people and have a board game night or something.

Yes at the moment it feels like you lost the world. And yes, you kind of did. But the beautiful thing about being human is that we have near infinite potential. And there is another potential girl out there who will love you for everything you are. But in order to find her (in time of course after a break) you need to be confident in yourself.

After you've spent some time doing things for yourself, you'll need to forgive yourself. This will be very hard. Yes, you allowed her to take advantage of you financially, emotionally, and physically. But it's not your fault. If you love some you should do almost anything for them. And you did. As far as I am concerned you did everything right.



I don't know if that helps, but we are here for you man.

Thanks I know many of you have been through similar things. She ruined my friendship with my best friend cause she cheated on me with him by giving him a bj. I forgave both of them but I found it harder to trust him. So I don't have anyone too close. It was a bad day cause I had to move her out of the place I was paying for her and the guy was there and she decided to tell me everything. So throughout the day they were playing having fun and doing things that me and her would do and I just watched. She's gone now and I just wish I could have made a better decision.

 

[Pollux]

.

 

[Izick]

But you tried those things in some shape or form, in order to be with someone. Just take a break from this and do some things you've been wanting to do. I'm sure there are things you've been wanting to experience. Some places you've been wanting to see. Make plans, set goals. If friends want to tag along, thats great. If not thats great too. Some of the best things happen when you're riding solo. Remember, make your list just for you.

I'm not trying to be dismissive, but I honestly don't really have that many places or things I really have a yearning to see or do. I've just basically had my nose to the grindstone and been doing school work during the semester, and now working at my job during the Summer. Besides that, I hang out with friends every once in a while, and that's basically it.

I don't really have any idea what I'd want to do that would be for me. I guess it would be cool to go to some different places, but I lack the funds, and to be honest, even then I'm not totally invested in the idea. So I don't even know where to start.

 

[zethren]

Thanks I know many of you have been through similar things. She ruined my friendship with my best friend cause she cheated on me with him by giving him a bj. I forgave both of them but I found it harder to trust him. So I don't have anyone too close. It was a bad day cause I had to move her out of the place I was paying for her and the guy was there and she decided to tell me everything. So throughout the day they were playing having fun and doing things that me and her would do and I just watched. She's gone now and I just wish I could have made a better decision.

It's obvious she didn't value you, the way you valued her. It hurts right now but trust us, you're better off without her. You don't want someone in your life who could so easily hurt you like that.

 

[The_Inquisitor]

Thanks I know many of you have been through similar things. She ruined my friendship with my best friend cause she cheated on me with him by giving him a bj. I forgave both of them but I found it harder to trust him. So I don't have anyone too close. It was a bad day cause I had to move her out of the place I was paying for her and the guy was there and she decided to tell me everything. So throughout the day they were playing having fun and doing things that me and her would do and I just watched. She's gone now and I just wish I could have made a better decision.

Well that cancer in your life is gone dude. It's like you just got out of surgery, so everything is groggy and hard to put in perspective. Sleep on it tonight and reflect some more in the morning.

 

[Prologue]

I'm not trying to be dismissive, but I honestly don't really have that many places or things I really have a yearning to see or do. I've just basically had my nose to the grindstone and been doing school work during the semester, and now working at my job during the Summer. Besides that, I hang out with friends every once in a while, and that's basically it.

I don't really have any idea what I'd want to do that would be for me. I guess it would be cool to go to some different places, but I lack the funds, and to be honest, even then I'm not totally invested in the idea. So I don't even know where to start.

Again, just look around your area. See the classes that are offered. Read some books, read about a topic that interests you. And think long and hard about what interests you and some personal goals you want to set. I'm sure with whatever job you have, you can certainly put some money aside for some activities, maybe even spend a weekend in some country if you're economical. You want a relationship, and thats great. But you shouldn't be answering me with " I don't really have any idea what I'd want to do that would be for me". You need to get attuned with yourself and your interests. It might seem foreign but you need to get a nice good footing with your self before you think about getting involved with someone else. I must sleep now! night and keep your head up

 

[georgc]

It's obvious she didn't value you, the way you valued her. It hurts right now but trust us, you're better off without her. You don't want someone in your life who could so easily hurt you like that.

Well that cancer in your life is gone dude. It's like you just got out of surgery, so everything is groggy and hard to put in perspective. Sleep on it tonight and reflect some more in the morning.

The sad thing is I know this and that she is bad for me, but it won't chane how I feel for her. I tell myself why she's wrong but argue why she's right. I can't win not even with myself.

 

[zethren]

The sad thing is I know this and that she is bad for me, but it won't chane how I feel for her. I tell myself why she's wrong but argue why she's right. I can't win not even with myself.

That's natural man. You were emotionally connected with this person on a deep level. It's going to take time. You'll be okay man, just keep pushing forward.

Edit: You know what I find helps me deal with shitty situations? I veg out and watch silly youtube videos for a while. Here, check these out: I'm sure people here have heard of them, they're called Batsu games. It's this group of Japanese dudes who basically put themselves through staged situations for long periods of time for television, and they're hilarious. This is one I'm watching now, the guy has to stay in a "haunted" hotel and constantly get scared by the crew.

This might be a bit off topic, but honestly this kind of stuff helps me out a great deal. Laughing is wonderful.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1mHZIcqoPE

 

[The_Inquisitor]

The sad thing is I know this and that she is bad for me, but it won't chane how I feel for her. I tell myself why she's wrong but argue why she's right. I can't win not even with myself.

Of course. You were crazy in love with her. The fact you find it so hard to let her go proves it. So it's natural this is hard because you're still jaded with the "love" goggles. But what you'll find is over some time is that the shining image you've implanted in your mind of her will start to lose some shine until you see her for truly for what she is.

It's just a matter of time.

 

[Log4Girlz]

One girl at work acts like she's head over heels for me. Too bad I'm her boss lol. We probably wouldn't get along either, she just doesn't realize it.

 

[Minamu]

zmoney: You look sort of like Mark Rein at Epic Games, if that's you in your avatar I think that's kinda cool. But as long as you tell yourself you're beautiful, that's what you are ^^ Then it won't matter what you look like.

 

[Entropia]

One girl at work acts like she's head over heels for me. Too bad I'm her boss lol. We probably wouldn't get along either, she just doesn't realize it.

That's probably why! lol

 

[Chinner]

One girl at work acts like she's head over heels for me. Too bad I'm her boss lol. We probably wouldn't get along either, she just doesn't realize it.

turns out your're a pimp.

 

[georgc]

That's natural man. You were emotionally connected with this person on a deep level. It's going to take time. You'll be okay man, just keep pushing forward.

Edit: You know what I find helps me deal with shitty situations? I veg out and watch silly youtube videos for a while. Here, check these out: I'm sure people here have heard of them, they're called Batsu games. It's this group of Japanese dudes who basically put themselves through staged situations for long periods of time for television, and they're hilarious. This is one I'm watching now, the guy has to stay in a "haunted" hotel and constantly get scared by the crew.

This might be a bit off topic, but honestly this kind of stuff helps me out a great deal. Laughing is wonderful.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1mHZIcqoPE

Of course. You were crazy in love with her. The fact you find it so hard to let her go proves it. So it's natural this is hard because you're still jaded with the "love" goggles. But what you'll find is over some time is that the shining image you've implanted in your mind of her will start to lose some shine until you see her for truly for what she is.

It's just a matter of time.

Thanks guys the thing that gets me is she won't mother my children. Ever since I've been with her that's what I wanted and now some other man will take that away from me. And I'm jealous of her cause she has someone and I'm the only one going through this pain. She is in his arms forgetting about me. While I can't even think of other woman.

 

[gofreak]

Euurgh. I think I've done goofed. I don't know if GAF can give advice, but I feel dumb and very teenager-y.

 

[Pollux]

GAF...tell me if I fucked up last night.

I was out and the ex started texting me. We had told each other that we were friends, I told her that because it's what she wanted and I didn't want to hurt her or some stupid crap like that. Anyway she's texting me going on about how she's at this bar across the street from the bar I'm at and wants to know what I'm doing and telling me how the bar I'm at sucks and the one she's at is so great.

So, because I'm an idiot, I say we should meet up...not because I was hoping for anything to happen, but because I thought it would be nice to see her again...I really did think that I was completely over her, to be honest.

She responds that we can't meet up she's out with X, Y, and Z...all guys, and starts making all these excuses.

At this point I just go off on her. I tell her that I was never over her, I still love her, she's the entire reason I'm leaving this city and moving back home (when in reality it's because of finances and tuition costs combined with missing family after 5 years away), that she needs to stop torturing me, and that I know I told her I was fine but that after 4 years of dating she should know be better than that. Defriended her on FB as well.

I was really drunk.

This morning I feel as though I was a huge dick by writing that to her, and I really want to just apologize and call her.

I'm pretty sure I shouldn't do that...right?

Advice? Did I do the right thing?

 

[gofreak]

So I'll share my drama.

Was talking to a guy for a while. We met up on Tuesday. Ended up spending day together. He came on to me strong, we got down to business. Afterward spent the afternoon in each others arms talking about relationships and stuff. Went for dinner in the evening. By the end I was intoxicated.

We were messaging then that night, but the next day he appeared to start ignoring me. Ended up me sending him an annoyed message. He then replied 'hi. Slow down. You scared me.' I said sorry, he said it was OK, then asked me how my day was, and we left it at that.

I pretty much backed off then... until yesterday. A couple more ignored messages - just a 'how are you' and asking if he'd like to meet up after the Pride parade, which he was going to with friends. Ultimately tried calling him but he cancelled my call on the first ring.

So I stupidly got rather angry. Assuming he was just playing head games, I sent him a big drama queen message telling him that he was too much of a coward to just tell me he wasn't interested, and that it was his loss.

So THEN he replies. He says 'Not coward. Stop being too intense. I told you that you scared me but you are a nice guy'.

So WTF does this mean? Is this another 'slow down' message or a 'you're a nice guy but i'm not interested' message?

A part of me thinks if he was interested he wouldn't be like this. A part of me thinks if he wasn't interested he wouldn't be quite like this either.

ARGH. /livejournal

 

[Minamu]

zmoney: No, don't contact her again. It's a really bad idea. You have spilled your guts, that's enough.

gofreak: Sounds like slow down to me. You're on thin ice probably, so cool your head and don't call him out like that anymore. Let him come to you from now on.

 

[EviLore]

So I'll share my drama.

Was talking to a guy for a while. We met up on Tuesday. Ended up spending day together. He came on to me strong, we got down to business. Afterward spent the afternoon in each others arms talking about relationships and stuff. Went for dinner in the evening. By the end I was intoxicated.

We were messaging then that night, but the next day he appeared to start ignoring me. Ended up me sending him an annoyed message. He then replied 'hi. Slow down. You scared me.' I said sorry, he said it was OK, then asked me how my day was, and we left it at that.

I pretty much backed off then... until yesterday. A couple more ignored messages - just a 'how are you' and asking if he'd like to meet up after the Pride parade, which he was going to with friends. Ultimately tried calling him but he cancelled my call on the first ring.

So I stupidly got rather angry. Assuming he was just playing head games, I sent him a big drama queen message telling him that he was too much of a coward to just tell me he wasn't interested, and that it was his loss.

So THEN he replies. He says 'Not coward. Stop being too intense. I told you that you scared me but you are a nice guy'.

So WTF does this mean? Is this another 'slow down' message or a 'you're a nice guy but i'm not interested' message?

A part of me thinks if he was interested he wouldn't be like this. A part of me thinks if he wasn't interested he wouldn't be quite like this either.

ARGH. /livejournal

Text messages are awful. People approach them in completely different ways and a lot of unnecessary drama can form because of this. For example, one person treats text messages like a real form of communication and expects a reply from someone they think they have respect between, while the other person doesn't treat it that way and will just ignore text messages that they don't feel like responding to at any given time without explanation but without any malicious intent. Then you can get "OMG WHY SO NEEDY AND PUSHY" if you call out the la-la-land person or even if you just ask why they're not replying, and things just break down from there.

You just have to not give a fuck about anything that happens via text message with this person; stick to other forms of communication if possible, too.

Oh, and yes, you're on different wavelengths as far as seriousness. Don't keep pushing or there's 0% chance, just relax and let him initiate. You can't force it, takes two, and you've made your intentions clear, so if he wants to keep going then it's on him to do so now.

 

[gofreak]

Thanks for the replies guys.

gofreak: Sounds like slow down to me. You're on thin ice probably, so cool your head and don't call him out like that anymore. Let him come to you from now on.

I wish I'd had the nerve to not reply to his last message, but I did send him one last one a while later last night - basically trying to make light of it all. But asking also that if he's not interested to just tell me, that if he is, we'll go at his pace, no more drama.

Suffice to say there's been no reply. I just hope that last message wasn't pushing it too much.

Text messages are awful. People approach them in completely different ways and a lot of unnecessary drama can form because of this. For example, one person treats text messages like a real form of communication and expects a reply from someone they think they have respect between, while the other person doesn't treat it that way and will just ignore text messages that they don't feel like responding to at any given time without explanation but without any malicious intent. Then you can get "OMG WHY SO NEEDY AND PUSHY" if you call out the la-la-land person or even if you just ask why they're not replying, and things just break down from there.

You just have to not give a fuck about anything that happens via text message with this person; stick to other forms of communication if possible, too.

I'll remember that...at least, if we're in a position where we're communicating with some regularity :\

Oh, and yes, you're on different wavelengths as far as seriousness. Don't keep pushing or there's 0% chance, just relax and let him initiate. You can't force it, takes two, and you've made your intentions clear, so if he wants to keep going then it's on him to do so now.

I guess I have implicitly made my intentions clear by just trying to be in touch...but nothing I said was particularly heavy or serious. I guess though my contact-behaviour made it clear.

I dunno. It's a new situation for me, in other situations I was being chased. I just wish his intentions were more explicit...I feel like I've given him two big opportunities now to tell me to f-ck off, which I don't think he has quite done yet (?) What I hate most of all is the ambiguity and the potential waste of time if he isn't interested. I wish he would or will tell me if he decides he doesn't want anything. I suppose in the meantime I have to just try and forget about it all so I'm not holding my breath...wish I could wind the clock back to Tuesday and play this differently :\

 

[Minamu]

Text messages are awful. People approach them in completely different ways and a lot of unnecessary drama can form because of this. For example, one person treats text messages like a real form of communication and expects a reply from someone they think they have respect between, while the other person doesn't treat it that way and will just ignore text messages that they don't feel like responding to at any given time without explanation but without any malicious intent. Then you can get "OMG WHY SO NEEDY AND PUSHY" if you call out the la-la-land person or even if you just ask why they're not replying, and things just break down from there.

You just have to not give a fuck about anything that happens via text message with this person; stick to other forms of communication if possible, too.

This is good advice for myself too. I tend to write really long messages and when I get 5 words or less back, it makes me worry when it most likely doesn't mean anything.

 

[Count Dookkake]

Text messages are awful. People approach them in completely different ways and a lot of unnecessary drama can form because of this. For example, one person treats text messages like a real form of communication and expects a reply from someone they think they have respect between, while the other person doesn't treat it that way and will just ignore text messages that they don't feel like responding to at any given time without explanation but without any malicious intent. Then you can get "OMG WHY SO NEEDY AND PUSHY" if you call out the la-la-land person or even if you just ask why they're not replying, and things just break down from there.

You just have to not give a fuck about anything that happens via text message with this person; stick to other forms of communication if possible, too.

Oh, and yes, you're on different wavelengths as far as seriousness. Don't keep pushing or there's 0% chance, just relax and let him initiate. You can't force it, takes two, and you've made your intentions clear, so if he wants to keep going then it's on him to do so now.

Dude, I've tried to express this about texting in the past, but the kids do not want to hear it.

Some will claim it is generational. Of course, they are wrong.