Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
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BronzeWolf
Banned
Yes
His girlfriend should stop contact with her ex after the first fight/plead and hold NO INFORMATION back.
Hypereides
Member
Okay back the fuck up dude.... do you seriously think Im going blue balls for her sake?? haha You gotta be kidding me.
You seriously dont think Ive been sleeping around with other women inbetween the course of these 3 months?
You probably dont know me as a poster here, but Im constantly fucking around in the city.
Obviously you believe Im completely sucking up and supplicating to this bitch. Which I can understand, why you think this way. But trust me, my penis is not attached to this chick.
Fuck no.
Theres a motherfucking shame on you for believing that.
Look, I know she flakes, all Im trying to do is experiment and get some experience on this. And if thats wrong then fuck me Im guilty.
I wont get any meaningfull relationship out of her because I pretty much figured out her character. But hell a fuck buddy would do.
And FYI, yes I do like teenagers. Some of them are good fun. Why the fuck wouldnt they be?
BronzeWolf
Banned
Then run your fucking game, but I think you are fucking up by giving her the ability to flake. if you want to have her not flake on you, you need to be on the spot, let's go, now or never. You need to stop taking her flakes seriously and start inviting her over and over and over again, and as long as you don't care about her as you say you don't there should be no problem right?
I've been down that road too. Godspeed
thisisneogafdude
BronzeWolf
Banned
I feel super ashamed omfg
Pollux
Member
Sorry if this is a VERY confusing post, I'll try and answer questions that people might have
So, GAF, I think my relationship is dying. I don't really know how to describe but I will try and do so as best I can.
I've been with my girlfriend for a little under 3.5 years.
So for a timeline:
Met in September 2008.
Began dating in October 2008.
We met in college when I was a Sophomore and she was a Junior. After we both graduated we moved in together, which was in May 2011. She's currently working a full time job and I'm in law school.
We always got along great, talked about anything for long periods of time, would joke around with each other, and were very affectionate. We would go out on weekends, mainly to movies or other things around the city since neither of us were that big into the party scene.
Around January of 2010 she got very sick. Turns out she had a tumor behind her nose which was causing all kinds of problems. This in turn killed her sex drive, and triggered something which to this day is causing her to get migraines on an almost weekly basis.
Prior to moving in together we went through a rough spot in September 2010 when we broke up for less than a week. Basically I was freaking out since I didn't know what I was going to do with my life, so I called her and broke up with her. Realizing that I fucked up I called her back two days later and asked her to meet me for dinner. I explained that it had nothing to do with her but that I was freaking out about not having any plans for after graduation. We got back together and everything was good.
Right before we moved in together, in May 2011, she finally got surgery and got the tumor removed. The migraines continue though.
Since we moved in together I feel as though we've lost our "closeness", if that makes any sense. At first I just thought it was things I did that would annoy her - not clean the bathroom or do the dishes when she asked but instead put them off for days; or drink all the water and not put it on the list; or eat her cereal or snack food; etc.
But then I figured out what I had to do to make her happy - basically do all the above lol. She doesn't really do anything that annoys me.
Anyway, for the last two month or two I've noticed that everything has begun to change. I don't even know how to describe it. We don't talk any more. We sit on separate couches and watch TV shows, or when there is no TV on, I'll be on GAF or doing work or something and she's writing (she's an aspiring novelist, still mainly just writing short stories and pieces of collaborative fiction, etc.) and when I try to talk to her she just says she doesn't want to be disturbed. I can understand that.
But she never wants to talk anymore. If I ever want to try to talk about our relationship she just brushes me off and gets on her computer or turns on a TV show. So I don't really know how to interpret that.
Lately she's also been talking about looking for jobs in Atlanta or DC, or other areas. She says nothings going to come of it, and that she was just talking but I don't know why she would bring it up if she wasn't considering taking a job if offered on some level. This pisses me off because I got into some good schools around the country and ended up staying with her (in Boston). She wasn't the only reason I stayed since I had already decided a few years ago that I would like to stay up here (before I even met her), but the fact that she's now considering taking these jobs across the country and then expecting me to deal with it, or to come visit her, or as she said "if we're still together you can move to where I am" pisses me off.
We used to talk about a future together but in the last month or two she won't talk about the future at all. Around the two year point we had a talk about what we would hypothetically want out of a long term relationship (kids, jobs, location, etc.) and we agreed on everything. When I would be on GAF and see a thread about raising kids and bring it up to her, she would talk about how she would raise our children in the future. When I started law school we agreed that we would get engaged during my final year. Now she won't even talk about that plan anymore.
I feel like something has changed, and I have no idea what it is. I don't know if it can be fixed. It's almost at a subconscious level but I just have this feeling that she's going to break up with me. I don't know if it's going to be next week, next month, or in six months. I just feel like she wants out and doesn't know it yet.
Any advice, GAF? How do I turn this relationship around.
So, GAF, I think my relationship is dying. I don't really know how to describe but I will try and do so as best I can.
I've been with my girlfriend for a little under 3.5 years.
So for a timeline:
Met in September 2008.
Began dating in October 2008.
We met in college when I was a Sophomore and she was a Junior. After we both graduated we moved in together, which was in May 2011. She's currently working a full time job and I'm in law school.
We always got along great, talked about anything for long periods of time, would joke around with each other, and were very affectionate. We would go out on weekends, mainly to movies or other things around the city since neither of us were that big into the party scene.
Around January of 2010 she got very sick. Turns out she had a tumor behind her nose which was causing all kinds of problems. This in turn killed her sex drive, and triggered something which to this day is causing her to get migraines on an almost weekly basis.
Prior to moving in together we went through a rough spot in September 2010 when we broke up for less than a week. Basically I was freaking out since I didn't know what I was going to do with my life, so I called her and broke up with her. Realizing that I fucked up I called her back two days later and asked her to meet me for dinner. I explained that it had nothing to do with her but that I was freaking out about not having any plans for after graduation. We got back together and everything was good.
Right before we moved in together, in May 2011, she finally got surgery and got the tumor removed. The migraines continue though.
Since we moved in together I feel as though we've lost our "closeness", if that makes any sense. At first I just thought it was things I did that would annoy her - not clean the bathroom or do the dishes when she asked but instead put them off for days; or drink all the water and not put it on the list; or eat her cereal or snack food; etc.
But then I figured out what I had to do to make her happy - basically do all the above lol. She doesn't really do anything that annoys me.
Anyway, for the last two month or two I've noticed that everything has begun to change. I don't even know how to describe it. We don't talk any more. We sit on separate couches and watch TV shows, or when there is no TV on, I'll be on GAF or doing work or something and she's writing (she's an aspiring novelist, still mainly just writing short stories and pieces of collaborative fiction, etc.) and when I try to talk to her she just says she doesn't want to be disturbed. I can understand that.
But she never wants to talk anymore. If I ever want to try to talk about our relationship she just brushes me off and gets on her computer or turns on a TV show. So I don't really know how to interpret that.
Lately she's also been talking about looking for jobs in Atlanta or DC, or other areas. She says nothings going to come of it, and that she was just talking but I don't know why she would bring it up if she wasn't considering taking a job if offered on some level. This pisses me off because I got into some good schools around the country and ended up staying with her (in Boston). She wasn't the only reason I stayed since I had already decided a few years ago that I would like to stay up here (before I even met her), but the fact that she's now considering taking these jobs across the country and then expecting me to deal with it, or to come visit her, or as she said "if we're still together you can move to where I am" pisses me off.
We used to talk about a future together but in the last month or two she won't talk about the future at all. Around the two year point we had a talk about what we would hypothetically want out of a long term relationship (kids, jobs, location, etc.) and we agreed on everything. When I would be on GAF and see a thread about raising kids and bring it up to her, she would talk about how she would raise our children in the future. When I started law school we agreed that we would get engaged during my final year. Now she won't even talk about that plan anymore.
I feel like something has changed, and I have no idea what it is. I don't know if it can be fixed. It's almost at a subconscious level but I just have this feeling that she's going to break up with me. I don't know if it's going to be next week, next month, or in six months. I just feel like she wants out and doesn't know it yet.
Any advice, GAF? How do I turn this relationship around.
Hypereides
Member
BronzeWolf
Banned
Your relationship is dead bro. Time to start collecting your stuff and get ready to move out.
Next time, don't move in together with a girl unless you plan on getting married soonish (less than a year)
Why did it die? the fuck if I know, but it's dead in the water, the sooner you get out, the sooner you can move on
What are the standard guidelines for calling a girl after you get their phone number at a bar? Met a girl early on in the night and at the end I got her number. Gave her a call once before but she didn't pick up. So my questions are as follows:
-How often do you call back, hoping she will pick up?
-How long until you leave her a message with your number, essentially putting the ball in her court if she wants to call you back.
-How long do you persist until you figure she is ignoring your phone calls and stop bugging her?
I appreciate any advice you guys might have!
-How often do you call back, hoping she will pick up?
-How long until you leave her a message with your number, essentially putting the ball in her court if she wants to call you back.
-How long do you persist until you figure she is ignoring your phone calls and stop bugging her?
I appreciate any advice you guys might have!
dskillzhtown
keep your strippers out of my American football
Can't really say for sure, but if she had a tumor rmoved and is still having migaines, she might be in a serious depression. Thinking that was the cure all and then it didn't work has to be a blow to her. Seems to me that is the root of the problem. I would talk to her about that and help her deal with it.
Alot of the times a rough patch in a relationship actually has little to do with the other person.
You didn't leave a voicemail the first time you called? If you called and she didn't know your number, you should have left a message. Short and sweet, just ey this is so and so, you've got my number now, call me.
Attackthebase
Member
Gotta disagree on this. My closest female friend is living with her BF for about a year now, and she's pretty happy with the current state of the relationship, and she told me she doesn't expect marriage for at least another few years.
Different girls expect different things.
Dear women of ages 19-2X,
Hey ladies. I love ya'll. I'm cool with just being friends. I'm alright if you don't want a relationship 'cause you got other shit going on with your life. So, next time, let me know that before we start getting serious, so that I'm not wasting my fucking time (or my money). Thanks.
Sincerely,
PXG
Hey ladies. I love ya'll. I'm cool with just being friends. I'm alright if you don't want a relationship 'cause you got other shit going on with your life. So, next time, let me know that before we start getting serious, so that I'm not wasting my fucking time (or my money). Thanks.
Sincerely,
PXG
BoobPhysics101
Banned
But it's not their money so it's no big deal.
That's why I go dutch. So if I go down, she's coming with me. We both gonna lose on this investment
BronzeWolf
Banned
- I only ring twice. She will know I called and will contact me if interested
- I never leave a message, if she wants to know what I called for, she must call me
- After you ring twice on two different days.
"Dear women, I don't know how to say no or ask the right questions at the first date, sincerely PXG"
There is no point in getting mad at women for being women. What are you doing that you are getting friendzoned so easily?
YoYo Switch
Banned
Just popping in for a quick update:
Thanks to Bronzewolf (and friends) I got off my sorry ass and texted this girl.
We've been texting here and there and she invited me to see her in a show this weekend !
I feel like some divine being gave me another chance after almost ruining this. Maybe with proper GAF guidance by my side I won't fuck it up
Thanks again!
Thanks to Bronzewolf (and friends) I got off my sorry ass and texted this girl.
We've been texting here and there and she invited me to see her in a show this weekend !
I feel like some divine being gave me another chance after almost ruining this. Maybe with proper GAF guidance by my side I won't fuck it up
Thanks again!
BronzeWolf
Banned
Just popping in for a quick update:
Thanks to Bronzewolf (and friends) I got off my sorry ass and texted this girl.
We've been texting here and there and she invited me to see her in a show this weekend !
I feel like some divine being gave me another chance after almost ruining this. Maybe with proper GAF guidance by my side I won't fuck it up
Thanks again!
HAHA! It's a great thing isn't it?
But I don't feel her invite is a date yet. You watching her play is too passive for me. Do you know what is she doing afterwards? I would insist on taking her somewhere to dinner. Yes, dinner, you should have tons of stuff to talk about after her show. If you only go watch her, the risk of you only being a "fan" or an spectator is really high, you need to flip the situation over and show her YOUR strengths.
mickcenary
Member
Reading this thread annoys me; it makes me realise that I just don't like women and the "game" a lot of the time.
Is anyone else as indifferent to sex as I am? I'm immensely attracted to women, but actual intercourse, not so much; I get my kicks elsewhere. I guess my drive is just low in that regard, hence my limited experience. I've never been the type to go out actively looking for sex; I will always opt for the "chivalrous/boyfriend" route, purely because that is my personality.
I've had one girlfriend who was even less experienced than I, so the sex was just "whatever". And I understand that this is highly relevant, as I've not yet beheld the amazing potential of getting your dick wet, but I'm not that eager to find out - well, that's what I think I'm trying to get at here, anyway.
I think what irritates me the most is that I will be judged for this. I will be judged by women because ultimately, this shit is just a screening process. And I feel as if I should be going out and fucking anything that moves, just for the experience, but I kinda don't want to.
Is anyone else as indifferent to sex as I am? I'm immensely attracted to women, but actual intercourse, not so much; I get my kicks elsewhere. I guess my drive is just low in that regard, hence my limited experience. I've never been the type to go out actively looking for sex; I will always opt for the "chivalrous/boyfriend" route, purely because that is my personality.
I've had one girlfriend who was even less experienced than I, so the sex was just "whatever". And I understand that this is highly relevant, as I've not yet beheld the amazing potential of getting your dick wet, but I'm not that eager to find out - well, that's what I think I'm trying to get at here, anyway.
I think what irritates me the most is that I will be judged for this. I will be judged by women because ultimately, this shit is just a screening process. And I feel as if I should be going out and fucking anything that moves, just for the experience, but I kinda don't want to.
BronzeWolf
Banned
You should not be doing anything you don't want to do man. Sex is mostly awesome but it can be boring if you are not having it right. That means a lot to different people, maybe you need to have a serious emotional connection with a girl so you can really appreciate it. That really happens and is nothing to be ashamed of.
If I were you, I would look at dating not as access to free sex, but as a chance to meet someone who can expand your life. The sex will come on it's own later
mickcenary
Member
I get you. I'm not ashamed in the slightest; and I know that I'm mentally strong/confident enough to do what I want and be happy with my choices, so that's not an issue.
Rather, the issue is more that I'm very well-aware of the importance of sex across both genders. Don't get me wrong, I want to be having it, but my personality has never been conducive to casual sex, nor do I want to make my foray into the realm of shitty, casual induction sex, of which the onus of performance will largely fall on me. Consequently, I'm a relatively inexperienced 23 year old and whilst I don't think that that's something to be ashamed of, it's enough to weigh on my mind, given societal expectations. Rewind the clock 5 years and I'd not give two shits, which is kind of the root of the "problem", in a way.
If I could all of a sudden magically wield my wang like D'Artagnen, problem solved.
BronzeWolf
Banned
As I said, don't focus on sex. Focus on getting into a good relationship
mickcenary
Member
Sound advice. And I agree; that's been my tact all along, really. Anyway, thanks for the feedback.
luckyboyceo
Member
FUCK. YES.
Finally asked out the girl in my class I've been crushing on, the one I choked on last week. We're going out Saturday night. She seemed genuinely excited too.
I seriously can't wait.
Finally asked out the girl in my class I've been crushing on, the one I choked on last week. We're going out Saturday night. She seemed genuinely excited too.
I seriously can't wait.
YoYo Switch
Banned
Thanks a lot man.
I like that idea a lot. I'll offer to take her out on a congratulatory dinner, hahaha.Not sure if she has plans already (when we did shows together the entire cast would go out to dinner, not sure if that's the case for the cast she's with now) but if she does:
Do you think it would be too eager of me to offer we go out the week after? I don't want to leave there without at least putting my foot in the door.
BronzeWolf
Banned
Ask her about her plans right now, and offer the dinner thing right now. If she, as you say, goes out with her cast (understandable) she then owes you, propose a day and if she can't make it, let her pick an specific date.
What's your plan?
So I'm going to a speed dating event on Friday that's at my school and I feel kind of nervous. My friend is backing out; he's going to the Knicks game so I'm entering the fog door alone (a Dark Souls reference in case anyone doesn't get it).However, that's not going to stop me from going.
I'm keeping my expectations low; my intention is to go have fun and meet new people so I'm not expecting to magically get like 3 potential dates out of it. But then again, life is full of surprises, so you never know. I definitely have to take a haircut between today and tomorrow for sure (if anyone's seen my real pic January avatar, I'm a fairly handsome guy with confidence issues).
I'm not really looking for advice unless any one has done it before. I only have one question: how do you guys relax before going to a big social event? I'm more at ease in a social event that's related to gaming because I'm able to relate to people more easily. Parties are no good.
I'm keeping my expectations low; my intention is to go have fun and meet new people so I'm not expecting to magically get like 3 potential dates out of it. But then again, life is full of surprises, so you never know. I definitely have to take a haircut between today and tomorrow for sure (if anyone's seen my real pic January avatar, I'm a fairly handsome guy with confidence issues).
I'm not really looking for advice unless any one has done it before. I only have one question: how do you guys relax before going to a big social event? I'm more at ease in a social event that's related to gaming because I'm able to relate to people more easily. Parties are no good.
MutantCyborg
Member
I finally approached that girl I was talking about earlier, we talked for about 5 minutes as she and I walked to her car. Before she got in her car she asked me if I wanted to do something this weekend, that really threw me off. She asked me to go with her to one of our college's dance club events. It is more like a high-school dance scene than a "teach you to dance" type of thing.
She really threw me off with her actually suggesting something before I could say it. That was honestly the weirdest thing I've had done to me. I of-course agreed and were going this Friday. I'm not afraid to make a fool of myself in-front of people, so that's what I plan on doing seeing as I can't honestly dance well. I'm sure we'll have fun and I'll have to think of something to do afterwards or before the dance.
How do I make it so I don't get friendzoned in the future? I know I have a really good shot at this girl right now. But I'm just asking for advice in general, are there subtle tricks to it, is it something you just learn to do? What are some things I should know about college relationships in general?
She really threw me off with her actually suggesting something before I could say it. That was honestly the weirdest thing I've had done to me. I of-course agreed and were going this Friday. I'm not afraid to make a fool of myself in-front of people, so that's what I plan on doing seeing as I can't honestly dance well. I'm sure we'll have fun and I'll have to think of something to do afterwards or before the dance.
How do I make it so I don't get friendzoned in the future? I know I have a really good shot at this girl right now. But I'm just asking for advice in general, are there subtle tricks to it, is it something you just learn to do? What are some things I should know about college relationships in general?
Just make sure it's clear what your intentions are. Do some playful flirting, light touching. Usually the friend thing happens when the girl doesn't know your intentions.
luckyboyceo
Member
I think I've got a pretty good one, I had something specific in mind when I was asking her.
She lives like an hour away from me. Fortunately, she works only about 5 minutes away. She works Saturday so after she gets off I'm going to take her to this nice local restaurant/bar for dinner/drinks/whatever. I have a specific place in mind but it can get pretty busy so if that's the case, I have a backup spot right across the street that's equally good. It's a pretty central area so if the mood is good, we might walk somewhere afterwards. I'm not going to force anything though, being the first date and all.
High-five for the Dark Souls reference.
I'm excited to hear about your experience. Speed-dating is something I've always wanted to try, not because I actually expect something to come out of it, but because I think it would be a fun activity. As far as your social question goes, if I can plan it out, I try and squeeze in a workout prior to going out. It gets your blood-pumping and your confidence up.
Congrats, sounds like it will be a fun time.
In regards to your question about the friendzone, I think the best advice I can give is sometimes less is more. Too often guys friendzone themselves by over-communicating.
Etrian Oddity
Member
Rough hump day. There will be no victories for Etrian Oddity today. 
Dr Duncan Steel
Member
Valentine's Day is less than week and I just have this sudden urge that if I don't do anything with the girl I'm trying to ask out, It's all gonna go FUBAR.
I was gonna create plans for Saturday but turns I'm working that day in a more hectic and busy day. I'm generally lacking a gameplan and I already know that I really should just ASK HER OUT, but things are beginning to be more easier said than done. I'm kinda freaking out.
I was gonna create plans for Saturday but turns I'm working that day in a more hectic and busy day. I'm generally lacking a gameplan and I already know that I really should just ASK HER OUT, but things are beginning to be more easier said than done. I'm kinda freaking out.
Khalifa Jayy
Banned
So I asked this girl out Saturday, right? What do you guys reckon I should go with for Valentine's? I'm thinking an edible arrangement [she LOVES chocolate] and some flowers...? I was thinking a small bear, too, so she can keep something for longer than a week or two [flowers].
Christ dude.
CF_Fighter
Member
Just got home from taking my date home. Night was a great success. She is cute, funny, and we continue to just click on everything. Plus she searched "cystic fibrosis" online after she found out I had it last night. Took her out to dinner, which she loved. Went for a walk and we got a little bit closer. Next we went to a great bar by my house and sat outside by the fire pit and talked, then when it got to smoky we headed inside and just talked and got a little bit closer on a couch in a more secluded room. Finally she said "Let's blow this place. Show me your house." I figured I was in with that statement. Gave her the tour of my house and then as we were standing in my family room she asked if I had class at 9:30. I told her no, it's just a big lecture and I went in for the kiss which she was all for. We spent the next hour making out on my sofa. Also for as few women I've kissed in my life she kept saying how excellent I was at it. Every woman I've kissed has said I've been great at it, I have very "nice lips" according to all of them, this one included.
Needless to say she's all up for doing something this weekend.
Needless to say she's all up for doing something this weekend.
BoobPhysics101
Banned
I'm happy that I took the virginity of one of the 18+ female virgins. My ex was 22 when I took her virginity... never even let a guy touch her private parts. And she's HOT. She's still hooked on me too. :\ It's actually kind of a double-edged sword: I took her virginity, but now that ish belongs to me and I'm not in a place where I feel like I could have another relationship with her at this point in time. Things would have to heal.
So maybe those 18+ female virgin "unicorns" aren't always the greatest thing.
Jeez, just do it. Grow some confidence.
Scored another phone number yesterday at a student party. She was cute, but probably not really my type. Dunno, should probably get to know her better.
Have four different girls I could date at the moment. This shit is getting out of hands. Not trying to bragg with the fact, I'm not a douche, but starting to get pretty lost here. I'm always asking for numbers when I'm drunk.
Seeing the singer girl tomorrow, she seems very very excited and texts me all the time. Not really feeling her yet and she is quite clingy early on. She is coming to my place, gonna watch a movie. Mixed feelings and I'm tempted to cut this off early on, but I feel so bad doing it since she is so excited and all.
Have four different girls I could date at the moment. This shit is getting out of hands. Not trying to bragg with the fact, I'm not a douche, but starting to get pretty lost here. I'm always asking for numbers when I'm drunk.
Seeing the singer girl tomorrow, she seems very very excited and texts me all the time. Not really feeling her yet and she is quite clingy early on. She is coming to my place, gonna watch a movie. Mixed feelings and I'm tempted to cut this off early on, but I feel so bad doing it since she is so excited and all.
FortunateSon
Banned
Hey guys. I got a situation. Any advice would be apreciated.
So here goes nothing.
There's this girl who commutes to work. We take the same bus everyday at the same time. Going and coming back from work Monday's - Friday's. So I see her at 8:00 a.m. to take the bus and I see her at 5:00 p.m. again. Not to mention, she gets off at the same stop as I do, both ways. Because she works at a hotel on the same street where I work. We are sitting in the same bus for the duration of the ride.
So, honestly speaking. She has checked me out multiple times, smiling, snapping her head back to get a quick glimpse at me but as soon as I look at her, she looks away. And she has been smiling or whatnot everytime we both look at eachother or when we have one of those quick glances. We've had those "eye fucking" moments as well, back and forth.
And I finally, decide to make a move. And I did, I went to up and said "Hey, I notice we've been taking the same bus at the same time and we get off at the same stop, it's about time I introduce myself, don't you think?" And that's when I introduced myself and we had a little chat.
And so then, I got her name and she seemed interested, but now, what are the next steps?
I see her every morning and all I would say is "good morning" to her when we both get off the bus and we head off in our directions. Sometimes, when we are taking the bus home, none of us wouild make the initative to talk at all even though we're both there waiting for the bus.
Why doesn't she come over and say hi or talk? Why is it me that has to do it all the time?
Like the other day, she looked at me and I looked at her right over to catch her lookinga t me and smiling and I smiled at her and so did she and we talked again for a little bit longer, it was more me carrying the conversation. Asking her about work, school etc... But I just feel like she's not into it? And she does reciprocate, meaning she asks me how's work and all as well.
And I THINK she has a boyfriend because when she pulled out her blackberry, I saw a picture of her with a guy......
So here goes nothing.
There's this girl who commutes to work. We take the same bus everyday at the same time. Going and coming back from work Monday's - Friday's. So I see her at 8:00 a.m. to take the bus and I see her at 5:00 p.m. again. Not to mention, she gets off at the same stop as I do, both ways. Because she works at a hotel on the same street where I work. We are sitting in the same bus for the duration of the ride.
So, honestly speaking. She has checked me out multiple times, smiling, snapping her head back to get a quick glimpse at me but as soon as I look at her, she looks away. And she has been smiling or whatnot everytime we both look at eachother or when we have one of those quick glances. We've had those "eye fucking" moments as well, back and forth.
And I finally, decide to make a move. And I did, I went to up and said "Hey, I notice we've been taking the same bus at the same time and we get off at the same stop, it's about time I introduce myself, don't you think?" And that's when I introduced myself and we had a little chat.
And so then, I got her name and she seemed interested, but now, what are the next steps?
I see her every morning and all I would say is "good morning" to her when we both get off the bus and we head off in our directions. Sometimes, when we are taking the bus home, none of us wouild make the initative to talk at all even though we're both there waiting for the bus.
Why doesn't she come over and say hi or talk? Why is it me that has to do it all the time?
Like the other day, she looked at me and I looked at her right over to catch her lookinga t me and smiling and I smiled at her and so did she and we talked again for a little bit longer, it was more me carrying the conversation. Asking her about work, school etc... But I just feel like she's not into it? And she does reciprocate, meaning she asks me how's work and all as well.
And I THINK she has a boyfriend because when she pulled out her blackberry, I saw a picture of her with a guy......
Analytical
Banned
Are you fucking kidding me? The next step is asking her out. The worst that will happen is she shoots you down, you can still be friendly with her on the bus.
Went to a rave last night.
Went with a girl.
I had to pay for her but she said she'd pay me back.
We ended up dancing and she was grinding on me.
I'm pretty sure she could feel my D.
There were moments where she would sort of put her hands on my hands since i was rubbing her legs a lot.
After a bit of this I think she got all hot and bothered because she said she had to go to the bathroom afterwards but then later on she asked me to dance with her again.
And to think I used to suck with women.
Went with a girl.
I had to pay for her but she said she'd pay me back.
We ended up dancing and she was grinding on me.
I'm pretty sure she could feel my D.
There were moments where she would sort of put her hands on my hands since i was rubbing her legs a lot.
After a bit of this I think she got all hot and bothered because she said she had to go to the bathroom afterwards but then later on she asked me to dance with her again.
And to think I used to suck with women.
I'm sure there's someone on GAF willing to be your wingman, you've just got to take them up on it. Seriously.
Definitely, the problem I have is my brain is holding me back.
I really do need a push, but I don't have the most outgoing friends. There's nothing they can do to help me, and at the moment I feel pretty useless with it all.
Things were looking great in 2010, but even then I was still unable to approach people.
Also thanks for the offer, I'll let you know if I ever go to Denmark!
You'll be fine man, I can assure you. You've already come far.
I really regret leaving college without really going anywhere (went on a few dates with a friend who liked me, but I didn't take it further since she wasn't my type at all).
My brain keeps telling me I'm forever fucked because of it, and when I look in this thread and see that most are in college it upsets me. I have to keep positive but it's hard to stay positive at the moment.
But trust me you can, and WILL succeed.
ConradCervantes
Banned
My girl happened to be in the neighborhood after a concert last night. I had just gotten home from work when I got a text: "Wanna come say hi, sexy? "
Got into her car at 11:00 pm and finally climbed out at 2:00 am. Turns out that she's a submissive type, which meshes quite well with my dominant tendencies. Spanking, slapping, demeaning nicknames like slut and whore, etc. I'm going to tear this woman apart by the time we finally have sex.
We do like one another as well, so it's not entirely based on physicality. We spent about an hour in her backseat talking, her draped over my lap, me playing with her hair. I told her how lovely it is to finally have a woman who is as smart, if not smarter than me. Intelligence is a huge turn on for me, and she has matched me on that thus far.
But most of all it's nice to finally like someone who isn't a huge drama magnet. I felt like I was cursed for such a long time because those were the only women that I seemed to attract, but this girl just lives her life as simply as mine. We go to work, come home, eat dinner with our families, hang out with friends and call it a night. No dumb ex drama, no debilitating illnesses to worry about. She's just a enormously positive human being, and that's most likely the reason I cannot stop thinking about her.
"Got into her car at 11:00 pm and finally climbed out at 2:00 am. Turns out that she's a submissive type, which meshes quite well with my dominant tendencies. Spanking, slapping, demeaning nicknames like slut and whore, etc. I'm going to tear this woman apart by the time we finally have sex.
We do like one another as well, so it's not entirely based on physicality. We spent about an hour in her backseat talking, her draped over my lap, me playing with her hair. I told her how lovely it is to finally have a woman who is as smart, if not smarter than me. Intelligence is a huge turn on for me, and she has matched me on that thus far.
But most of all it's nice to finally like someone who isn't a huge drama magnet. I felt like I was cursed for such a long time because those were the only women that I seemed to attract, but this girl just lives her life as simply as mine. We go to work, come home, eat dinner with our families, hang out with friends and call it a night. No dumb ex drama, no debilitating illnesses to worry about. She's just a enormously positive human being, and that's most likely the reason I cannot stop thinking about her.
Enjoy it friend. Sounds like a great girl.
Its a total crutch but you can try using the 3 second rule if you have approach anxiety. If you see a girl, give yourself just 3 seconds to approach her so your brain doesn't have time to fuck it up for you.
Also this helps a little http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUdHX1Bent0
Also this helps a little http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUdHX1Bent0
I suffer from insane approach anxiety it is unbelievable. If I'm with friends I usually lead the conversation, crack the jokes but that fucking approach is too much for me. When there is a hot girl who I know I'm going to be seeing at class or whatever and I decide I'm going to ask her out that same morning I wouldn't be able to eat a lot because I feel sick. Eventually I hype myself up through music and friends, then I enter the room with the girl and go back to this impossible state where crazy what ifs... start popping up in my head. The girl goes away and I start kicking myself. Rinse and repeat this over and over again. Only girls that I've actually been able to do things with is those that are within my friends social circles so they usually introduce themselves and things start building up.
That video is kind of helpful I just need as much motivational ideas as possible to push me. I don't even know why I fear what they think of me or start thinking of what if situations. I tell myself if she says no it is better than you just going over and over it in your head and that trying and making a mistake is way better than just sitting there but at the last moment it all breaks away. This would all be so much easier for me if I could just go up to the girl make a little small talk and then say "I'm going to be honest I'm attracted to you do you want to go somewhere we can talk and continue this or not?" Obviously everyone tells me this is a big no no and that you shouldn't even say that they are attractive, beautiful until later on.
If you guys got any tips, videos, music to help with the approach anxiety it would be appreciated.
That video is kind of helpful I just need as much motivational ideas as possible to push me. I don't even know why I fear what they think of me or start thinking of what if situations. I tell myself if she says no it is better than you just going over and over it in your head and that trying and making a mistake is way better than just sitting there but at the last moment it all breaks away. This would all be so much easier for me if I could just go up to the girl make a little small talk and then say "I'm going to be honest I'm attracted to you do you want to go somewhere we can talk and continue this or not?" Obviously everyone tells me this is a big no no and that you shouldn't even say that they are attractive, beautiful until later on.
If you guys got any tips, videos, music to help with the approach anxiety it would be appreciated.
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