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[Rad-]

I'm getting slightly bored of the situation between the girl I have been seeing. She's cute and kind. When I think about it, there's not really anything "wrong" with her. She obviously likes me too. But there's just like zero physical chemistry between us.

I'm still giving it one shot but I have to plan it so that it can lead to something physical. If that doesn't work then that's that.

 

[Sub_Level]

Went to a Halloween party as Snake and got Wonder Woman's (codec) number!

Well, more like I gave her mine and she texted me hers. She wasn't drunk either, we had a good time hanging out and dancing and even got to know each other a little bit. Starting to get consistently better at this whole thing...gonna see if I can txt her tomorrow or tuesday to set up a date or somethin'. I'm not really sure how to approach this, haven't gotten a girl's number in like 10 months.

 

[Cow Mengde]

I don't get the duck reference, sorry xD

When I get lazy on the swivel chair, I just push against the desk to slide over. When I return to my desk, I drag the chair with me sitting on it so I sort of walk like a duck.

How are you planning on knocking her down? That doesn't exactly sound like beginner level stuff, so be careful. Good luck.

She thinks I'm immature without knowing who I really am. I act immature around her because she acts immature. Since I found out this information from the best friend, I can use it right back against her when she acts immature. She does!

Or I can use her thoughts that all men are liers against her. Something like "Then what am I? You said you trust me, does that mean you think I'm not a man?" I'll do it without sounding mean or anything. A more playful tone.

Either way, I'll read up some tips since I still have time to think this through.

I can also do my slow transformation in the work place because I never revealed much about myself. Ever since my confidence boost, even other coworkers notice it. I think my confidence boost happened before I started developing feelings for her. Good way to slowly transform myself.

 

[I'm an expert]

When I get lazy on the swivel chair, I just push against the desk to slide over. When I return to my desk, I drag the chair with me sitting on it so I sort of walk like a duck.



She thinks I'm immature without knowing who I really am. I act immature around her because she acts immature. Since I found out this information from the best friend, I can use it right back against her when she acts immature. She does!

Or I can use her thoughts that all men are liers against her. Something like "Then what am I? You said you trust me, does that mean you think I'm not a man?" I'll do it without sounding mean or anything. A more playful tone.

Either way, I'll read up some tips since I still have time to think this through.

I can also do my slow transformation in the work place because I never revealed much about myself. Ever since my confidence boost, even other coworkers notice it. I think my confidence boost happened before I started developing feelings for her. Good way to slowly transform myself.

Krist..I..I don't get any of this. Didn't you just ask her to lunch? Can't you just go to lunch with her? Have a conversation about each other? About other topics? Why do you need to rehearse lines and situations and change this and that.. I'm not picking on you or trying to judge, it's just the stuff you type seems so out there when all you need to do is spend some time with this woman and get to know her outside of the workplace.

 

[Cow Mengde]

Krist..I..I don't get any of this. Didn't you just ask her to lunch? Can't you just go to lunch with her? Have a conversation about each other? About other topics? Why do you need to rehearse lines and situations and change this and that.. I'm not picking on you or trying to judge, it's just the stuff you type seems so out there when all you need to do is spend some time with this woman and get to know her outside of the workplace.

We spend 6 days seeing each other talking to each other. We've covered quite a few topics. It's because I've been too much of that that I need to change it. Like I said, I've done stuff for her while having no interest in her for quite a few months. This needs to change. Maybe not right away, but slowly.

 

[I'm an expert]

We spend 6 days seeing each other talking to each other. We've talked outside the work place before. It's because I've been too much of that that I need to change it.

But she said yes to hanging out with you, to whoever you are now, so just go out and have a good time. Where you take her and what you do should be about the extent of your planning. The rest is just showing interest in her (if she really is interesting).

 

[Cow Mengde]

But she said yes to hanging out with you, to whoever you are now, so just go out and have a good time. Where you take her and what you do should be about the extent of what your planning. The rest is just showing interest in her (if she really is interesting).

I'm not abandoning that. Of course I will do these things.

 

[I'm an expert]

I'm not abandoning that. Of course I will do these things.

But..that's all you need to do. Having some one liners or zingers for if she does this or if she mentions that is just.. weird. You said she doesn't know you, but neither do you! You two haven't had a situation like this before.

 

[Vermillion]

Do what?

Make you care about them when the feeling's not mutual.

At any rate, great times I had.

 

[I'm an expert]

Make you care about them when the feeling's not mutual.

At any rate, great times I had.

(they don't make you do anything)

 

[Vermillion]

Also, I'm tempted to just start grabbing girls and dancing with them. Why? My friends were doing that all night, successful each time. I was talking to them first at least, then my friends would just swoop in and it would be awkward for me. Oy.

 

[Minamu]

Cow: listen to worldrevolution, it's good advice.

Joker: just don't be creepy and/or needy and have a smile on your face. With time, you'll learn to see which ones would be interested in it.

Met a girl ghost last night. She put her ghost sheet over herself, me and her girl friend and started making out with her and then me for a few seconds. Not a bad night.

My friend was also really drunk and dressed as hard gay so we proceeded to do his signature dry humping moves for laughs xD Got to talking to two blonde twins that way. Sogood.gif

 

[I'm an expert]

I'm not even really giving advice, I'm just surprised how young people nowadays approach this kind of stuff.

 

[Raiden]

You already got this in the bag. Those are pretty clear signs. Quite forward even for a girl but who cares.

Lets hope! But to be honest here in Belgium its not that uncommon to kiss someone you barely met on the cheek. Now being pretty drunk(but not jibberish wasted) my memory of how she looked like was a bit faded but i knew she was pretty. So i stalked googled her first name and her phone number and found her facebook. Now im not going to add her, but holy shit she looks like she could be the twin sister of Jessica from True Blood redhead and all!

Reference:

This is too much of a fantasy that could come true or go wrong!

I'll try to get some drinks with her next week and i'll do a little update to tell how things went!

 

[Vermillion]

Joker: just don't be creepy and/or needy and have a smile on your face. With time, you'll learn to see which ones would be interested in it.

Interested? If they see girls dancing they move in behind them.

It's whatever, though.

 

[Cow Mengde]

Don't worry, I'll judge the situation and do what I need to do.

I will try to get rid of some bad habits and make myself more attractive either way.

 

[Minamu]

Interested? If they see girls dancing they move in behind them.

It's whatever, though.

Most guys operate like that. Attention whores probably love it, and some others too, but it can easily backfire too. Different human behaviour is very easy to spot on the dancefloor though and when you know what to look for, which girls are into you should be fairly obvious to see from a mile away.

 

[Vermillion]

Most guys operate like that. Attention whores probably love it, and some others too, but it can easily backfire too. Different human behaviour is very easy to spot on the dancefloor though and when you know what to look for, which girls are into you should be fairly obvious to see from a mile away.

Not like they'll shoot me or anything.

 

[white dynamite]

Most guys operate like that. Attention whores probably love it, and some others too, but it can easily backfire too. Different human behaviour is very easy to spot on the dancefloor though and when you know what to look for, which girls are into you should be fairly obvious to see from a mile away.

And what do you look for?

 

[Minamu]

Not like they'll shoot me or anything.

Haha no, probably not, true.

And what do you look for?

Positive eye contact, proximity (even more so if repeated), not-so-subtle bump-ins. Not to mention when they start ass grinding you and such of course. Overly sexual moves is a pretty big tell Proximity is probably the biggest one I see myself. Honestly though, most things can be a signal, not every girl is the same.

 

[Resilient]

Don't worry, I'll judge the situation and do what I need to do.

I will try to get rid of some bad habits and make myself more attractive either way.

Why do you even ask for advice and write up huge posts only to say "I'll do what I need to do". You should never have listened to the best friend. Do you honestly think what she is feeding you is true?? Lol just go on the date with her, and that's it. You say you've been wanting to become more mature. I'm sure you would have kept behaving how you normally do if it wasn't for her even saying that in the first place. You have the pussy on the Empire State building at this point. It's gonna blow up in your face if you don't stop this bullshit. Just be yourself, without all these battle plans and ideas running through your head.

 

[Cow Mengde]

Why do you even ask for advice and write up huge posts only to say "I'll do what I need to do". You should never have listened to the best friend. Do you honestly think what she is feeding you is true?? Lol just go on the date with her, and that's it. You say you've been wanting to become more mature. I'm sure you would have kept behaving how you normally do if it wasn't for her even saying that in the first place. You have the pussy on the Empire State building at this point. It's gonna blow up in your face if you don't stop this bullshit. Just be yourself, without all these battle plans and ideas running through your head.

I want advice from both sides. The best friend is more aware of the situation, while you guys see things from a guy's perspective. Being more mature just means giving up a few bad habits and dressing better. That can't hurt, right?

 

[I'm an expert]

Just go on the date with the girl lol. Then get back to us.

 

[Minamu]

I want advice from both sides. The best friend is more aware of the situation, while you guys see things from a guy's perspective. Being more mature just means giving up a few bad habits and dressing better. That can't hurt, right?

This is not a bad thing, no. The odds that you're *only* doing it for your own sake, even if that's what you're telling yourself and us, are slim to none though. Chances are you'll only truly realize this with some hindsight. You're way too invested in this girl, I think we all can see it. Just go on the date and get it out of your system

 

[Cow Mengde]

Don't worry, I will.

 

[I'm an expert]

No one is worried.. trust us. -_-

 

[Minamu]

No one is worried.. trust us. -_-

It's 2am here. This is keeping me up at night, literally

More people should try this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKUvKE3bQlY

Edit:

That reminds me, a little event known as hurricane sandy is hitting NYC. I hope it doesn't screw up our plans for next Monday. God knows how bad the damage will be.

Then we might actually have the first "act of God" in this thread

 

[Cow Mengde]

That reminds me, a little event known as hurricane sandy is hitting NYC. I hope it doesn't screw up our plans for next Monday. God knows how bad the damage will be.

 

[Resilient]

I'm more than certain that the 'best friend' is relaying to the girl how many questions you are asking and how much advice you need. It's not gonna look good on you.

 

[UFRA]

I'm LTTP on the hot topic right now, but my 2 cents...

If you're going into a date with intentions of "knocking her down a peg" and have pre-planned lines to comeback at her with, that's pretty much an indicator you need to re-evaluate your dating life.

Go ahead and do what you gotta do, but when you plan things out like that, it never ends up like you expect it to.

Kinda like sex. You just gotta go with the flow, you cant plan it out in advance and overthink it. lol

 

[mooooose]

So I definitely have a problem.

Okay, so growing up I had a close friend. She was a girl. I had a crush on her for a really long time. We were best friends. Eventually, I realized nothing would happen of it and the crush just kinda went on the back burner.

I ended up dating a girl. We were all common friends, and I actually met this girl through my best friend. Anyway, I had feelings for my best friend still somewhat (even though I really liked this new girl a lot, more than the other girl) and on top of that my ex was very jealous of the relationship between me and my best friend.

Me and my best friend stopped talking. We made up later, but it was never the same and we eventually had another falling out. We essentially stopped talking for 5 years.

This past Summer, me and my ex broke up. I ended up apologizing to my old best friend.

Slowly over the last couple of months we went from the apology, to talking a couple times a day, to talking all day every day.

And she went from being a person I thought I missed... to a person I missed... to a friend I missed... to a best friend I missed... back to a crush very very very quickly.

She reminds me of so much. Simpler times. Happier times. She's super accepting, honest, cute, sweet. She's the first person to get my mind off my ex besides one other girl (another story) and she's the first time I realized that, had me and my ex not split, I would've lost her forever and never would've been where I am now.

But I am almost 100% certain she does not reciprocate the feelings. She dated one guy for years and he was incredibly abusive, and she has scars from that. She also has a very large and dedicated group of friends who are all guys. Not only that.. she never reciprocated the feelings in the past. And even though we get along really really really well, I don't think I am the guy she is looking for.

I have been talking to a girl I just met a lot as well, and things are going really well with her, and I am happy, but this girl... she's familiar. And that is nice right now. And easy to fall in love with.

What the fuck do I do GAF?

 

[Zips]

So I definitely have a problem.

What the fuck do I do GAF?

Don't get lost down a dead end. You seem to have already identified this old friend as a dead end romantically speaking, so getting all tied up over it won't do you any good and wouldn't help you get her either.

One thing I find alot of guys do is get stuck up on one girl at a time (without being in a relationship with them). I used to do it myself too and it just never worked out well. You can keep an eye out for opportunities to turn your relationship with the friend more romantic, but do not get hung up on her. Explore multiple possibilities like with the other girl you mentioned and just keep an eye out for anything/everything that comes along.

Some people might tell you to cut things off with that friend saying you're just going to wallow in the friend-zone. I don't really believe in cutting off things with people. Relationship fading tends to happen on its own over time. You just need to keep your head on straight.


Unrelated - people who suggest to people to just go out and make more friends often seem to not consider that making new friends can actually be difficult for some people. I think I'm better at it than I used to be, but I can still have problems coming up with topics of conversation.

I mentioned having trouble with coming up with things to talk about to a friend of mine not long ago and she responded a bit insultingly, thinking it easy to find things to talk about. She comes from a pretty social/popular background though and I think failed to consider that. It irritates me when people talk about making new friends as some super-easy thing though.

 

[Log4Girlz]

So I definitely have a problem.

Okay, so growing up I had a close friend. She was a girl. I had a crush on her for a really long time. We were best friends. Eventually, I realized nothing would happen of it and the crush just kinda went on the back burner.

I ended up dating a girl. We were all common friends, and I actually met this girl through my best friend. Anyway, I had feelings for my best friend still somewhat (even though I really liked this new girl a lot, more than the other girl) and on top of that my ex was very jealous of the relationship between me and my best friend.

Me and my best friend stopped talking. We made up later, but it was never the same and we eventually had another falling out. We essentially stopped talking for 5 years.

This past Summer, me and my ex broke up. I ended up apologizing to my old best friend.

Slowly over the last couple of months we went from the apology, to talking a couple times a day, to talking all day every day.

And she went from being a person I thought I missed... to a person I missed... to a friend I missed... to a best friend I missed... back to a crush very very very quickly.

She reminds me of so much. Simpler times. Happier times. She's super accepting, honest, cute, sweet. She's the first person to get my mind off my ex besides one other girl (another story) and she's the first time I realized that, had me and my ex not split, I would've lost her forever and never would've been where I am now.

But I am almost 100% certain she does not reciprocate the feelings. She dated one guy for years and he was incredibly abusive, and she has scars from that. She also has a very large and dedicated group of friends who are all guys. Not only that.. she never reciprocated the feelings in the past. And even though we get along really really really well, I don't think I am the guy she is looking for.

I have been talking to a girl I just met a lot as well, and things are going really well with her, and I am happy, but this girl... she's familiar. And that is nice right now. And easy to fall in love with.

What the fuck do I do GAF?

Find another girl.

 

[ghostofsparta]

Lets say I am into this girl I see all the time but I've actually said anything to her. Hypothetically speaking of course, how would I go about "asking her out". Would "would you want to go on a date sometime" be too straight forward? Maybe "we should go get something to eat together sometime" would be better?

help a noob gaf

 

[Remyzero]

Ugh, in such a weird spot right now. Girl I really really like had a random freakout a few weeks back and I haven't seen her in a month now.

 

[I'm an expert]

Lets say I am into this girl I see all the time but I've actually said anything to her. Hypothetically speaking of course, how would I go about "asking her out". Would "would you want to go on a date sometime" be too straight forward? Maybe "we should go get something to eat together sometime" would be better?

help a noob gaf

I'm guessing you mean you haven't said anything to her. Do you know each other though? Is this a school/work thing? If introductions aren't needed, bring up some sort of occasion or event you might be attending and ask her if she's interested. If this is your absolutely first time talking to her, you should obviously find some sort of common ground or a topic you can bring up with her (since you "see her all the time") to start the conversation, and then just ask her if she'd like to continue the convo later over a meal or drinks. Or, assuming you have the balls, you could just walk up to her and tell her you'd like to get to know her and ask her out.

 

[Decado]

I've been messaging this girl online (pof) and it's been slow going (she tends to take a long time to respond). For the last few messages we've been trying to arrange a date. I've strongly hinted I'd like to plan via text as I don't think anyone who won't give out there number is serious about meeting (didn't say the last part).

This has only happened once before (exchanging numbers is usually a given) and I'm wondering if anyone else here has had similar experience and how it was handled. I'm tempted just to be blunt and honest. I don't really care if she's playing games online as it is no skin off my nose, but if she flakes it's a waste of my time and I'm busy ATM.

 

[Cubsfan23]

just cut her off, and she either does all the work or you're not interested and don't ever contact her again (don't say she needs to do all the work)

 

[Decado]

just cut her off, and she either does all the work or you're not interested and don't ever contact her again (don't say she needs to do all the work)

Were you replying to my post? If so...I don't get it. What work?

 

[LosDaddie]

What the fuck do I do GAF?

Like others have said, find another girl you can date. Sorry. You were friend-zoned a long time ago. You should just accept it, and move on. It sucks, but it's part of growing up. Don't dwell on her, especially since you were never romantically involved. Now, this doesn't mean to cut her out of your life, but you need to be honest with yourself about what you want out this friendship.

Are you her friend because you hope it leads to a relationship down the road? Are you her friend because you enjoy her companionship? Can you stomach hearing about her new BFs?

Also (and I've said this many times here), I was always leery of ladies with tons & tons of guy "friends", and few (if any) girl friends. Almost always correlated with the lady never really being single, but rather jumping from relationship to relationship. Fun girls to hang around with, but probably not the best option for a long term relationship. Your friend may be the exception, though.



Also, sorry to use you as an example, but this...

Okay, so growing up I had a close friend. She was a girl. I had a crush on her for a really long time. We were best friends. Eventually, I realized nothing would happen of it and the crush just kinda went on the back burner.
...

Slowly over the last couple of months we went from the apology, to talking a couple times a day, to talking all day every day.

...

And she went from being a person I thought I missed... to a person I missed... to a friend I missed... to a best friend I missed... back to a crush very very very quickly.

...is exactly what I refer to when I (and others) claim men & women can't be 'just' friends. Oh sure, you guys were friends, even Best Friends at that, but you would've jumped on that at the first opportunity.

 

[Minamu]

Were you replying to my post? If so...I don't get it. What work?

Give her your number. If she calls or texts, she's interested. And you do no work. She must chase you or you find someone else who does.

 

[SaskBoy]

Can you guys recommend some first date ideas? I can think of coffee date or a movie but those seem so cliche.

 

[Cubsfan23]

Were you replying to my post? If so...I don't get it. What work?

moving forward, your only contact with her would be if she is initiating you two getting together. Any message that doesn't say "let's get together" etc gets ignored. Do not initiate anything.


she needs to be the one who does the effort. Be prepared to move on since you've already set the precedent of you going after her.

 

[UFRA]

Can you guys recommend some first date ideas? I can think of coffee date or a movie but those seem so cliche.

Mini-golf, go to a park, find something mutually interesting.

 

[SaskBoy]

Mini-golf, go to a park, find something mutually interesting.

It's below freezing here so anything outside is out of the question. I definitely think summer is a better season for dates though.

 

[Perspicacity]

It's below freezing here so anything outside is out of the question. I definitely think summer is a better season for dates though.

I'm going to infer from your user name that you're from SK? So... coffee or pub is probably the best you're going to do. Maybe see if there are any local bands worth checking out?

 

[[KoRp]Jazzman]

It's below freezing here so anything outside is out of the question. I definitely think summer is a better season for dates though.

From Sask and loves the Jays? You're my kind of people.

If your in Regina you could try the Science Centre, not overly expensive and gives you a chance for some hands on stuff while getting to know each other.

 

[SaskBoy]

I'm going to infer from your user name that you're from SK? So... coffee or pub is probably the best you're going to do. Maybe see if there are any local bands worth checking out?

Ouch, that hurt man. We have things to do. Honest

A band could be interesting, but having a conversation could be tough. I'll probably just suggest coffee.

And now that I think about Winter has some pretty good date activities. Outdoor ice skating, tobogganing, Festival of Lights, etc, but those happen later in the year. We're still in the shitty freezing rain pre-Winter season.

 

[SaskBoy]

From Sask and loves the Jays? You're my kind of people.

If your in Regina you could try the Science Centre, not overly expensive and gives you a chance for some hands on stuff while getting to know each other.

Love the Blue Jays.

Science Centre sounds like a great idea. Fortunately though I am from Saskatoon.

 

[[KoRp]Jazzman]

Love the Blue Jays.

Science Centre sounds like a great idea. Fortunately though I am from Saskatoon.

Oh, well take back what I said and any offer of helping...

Why dont you take her on a walk over one of your shitty cities 800 provincially funded bridges?

... God damn Saskatoon.

PS - we can be friends again when baseball starts back up