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[SaskBoy]

Oh, well take back what I said and any offer of helping...

Why dont you take her on a walk over one of your shitty cities 800 provincially funded bridges?

... God damn Saskatoon.

PS - we can be friends again when baseball starts back up

Hey man, they just started tearing down one of our bridges, the new south bridge is delayed, and who knows when they'll starting building the proposed north bridge!

 

[reallyfull]

GAF, help!

I just wanted to run this idea past GAF as I haven't dated in awhile. I have a first date lined up for this weekend, I was thinking of bowling and then hopefully going to a local pizza joint after and grabbing a few slices, sound good?

 

[Sub_Level]

GAF, help!

I just wanted to run this idea past GAF as I haven't dated in awhile. I have a first date lined up for this weekend, I was thinking of bowling and then hopefully going to a local pizza joint after and grabbing a few slices, sound good?

I've been on two bowling dates and they went well. And actually, yesterday I asked a girl if she wanted to go bowling on Friday too.

 

[Rad-]

Bowling is pretty good but the best date is a bar. Alcohol relaxes both and in many cases leads to sex.

I wouldn't do that for a first date though. For a first date, my favorite is simply go for a walk.

 

[Sub_Level]

Bowling is pretty good but the best date is a bar. Alcohol relaxes both and in many cases leads to sex.

There's a bar where I go bowling.

 

[Senoculum]

So last friday...

Sparknotes version:

I said, "I don't know why I've told everyone else except you, but I'm crazy for you."

She smiles and says, "that brings a smile to my face. I like you too... a lot." She proceeds to tell me that she always suspected, and that she tried to pry it out of me earlier (we hung out early last week and a convo how a relationship between us jokingly sprung up).

Again, she's leaving the country in two months, but we both agreed, "that's what makes it exciting."

We didn't hang out since then. So now... where do we take this?

 

[WyndhamPrice]

So last friday...

Sparknotes version:

I said, "I don't know why I've told everyone else except you, but I'm crazy for you."

She smiles and says, "that brings a smile to my face. I like you too... a lot." She proceeds to tell me that she always suspected, and that she tried to pry it out of me earlier (we hung out early last week and a convo how a relationship between us jokingly sprung up).

Again, she's leaving the country in two months, but we both agreed, "that's what makes it exciting."

We didn't hang out since then. So now... where do we take this?

Wherever you want. If it's just for two months (and you guys both acknowledge that) then make it the best two months ever.

 

[Omegasquash]

So now... where do we take this?

Have as much of a blast as you can.

 

[DY_nasty]

So she shot me down. Its all good though. We're still friends.

 

[Decado]

moving forward, your only contact with her would be if she is initiating you two getting together. Any message that doesn't say "let's get together" etc gets ignored. Do not initiate anything.


she needs to be the one who does the effort. Be prepared to move on since you've already set the precedent of you going after her.

lol. It's pof. I'm *always* ready to move on, even if I've met them several times. No point being on that site if you're only connecting with one woman at a time.

 

[Detox]

So in silent areas in libraries how do you approach? I don't want to talk because its either going to be too low that they can't hear me or too loud that everyone overhears me.

 

[Veelk]

I have no idea how to handle this situation.

Okay, so there's this girl that I happen to be interested in. Lets call her Jen. She usually comes over my place with a childhood friend called Alex, because she lives far away but we exchanged phone numbers and friended each other on facebook.

So, when I met her, she had a boyfriend, but that didn't stop me from lightly flirting with her. We have a few common interests and she's cute so I'd love to date her, given the opportunity. But like I said, she had a boyfriend.

Right now, I don't know. Because I went to check on her facebook and she lists her status as single. I checked her boyfriend's and he has his as "in a civil union". This is probably a joke of some sort, because they're both in high school, so I doubt he actually married anyone.

Anyway, I am considering asking her out to see skyfall together, but that'd officially make it a date...I think...and I don't even know if she broke up with her boyfriend...and I don't know if I'm suppose to ask....or how I'll play it off if she says no, because I don't want to make things weird between us if she says no.

What should I do?

 

[Minamu]

If her status is single on facebook, I don't know, in my world that pretty much settles it. Unless it was always like that. If you don't want to ask her out traditionally, just bring up the movie in a conversation, and if she's sounding intestered, she can tag along.

 

[Perspicacity]

I have no idea how to handle this situation.

Okay, so there's this girl that I happen to be interested in. Lets call her Jen. She usually comes over my place with a childhood friend called Alex, because she lives far away but we exchanged phone numbers and friended each other on facebook.

So, when I met her, she had a boyfriend, but that didn't stop me from lightly flirting with her. We have a few common interests and she's cute so I'd love to date her, given the opportunity. But like I said, she had a boyfriend.

Right now, I don't know. Because I went to check on her facebook and she lists her status as single. I checked her boyfriend's and he has his as "in a civil union". This is probably a joke of some sort, because they're both in high school, so I doubt he actually married anyone.

Anyway, I am considering asking her out to see skyfall together, but that'd officially make it a date...I think...and I don't even know if she broke up with her boyfriend...and I don't know if I'm suppose to ask....or how I'll play it off if she says no, because I don't want to make things weird between us if she says no.

What should I do?

Wouldn't Alex know if Jen was single?

 

[Veelk]

Wouldn't Alex know if Jen was single?

I guess, but she'd probably tell Jen that I asked anyway. She doesn't keep her mouth shut.

If her status is single on facebook, I don't know, in my world that pretty much settles it. Unless it was always like that. If you don't want to ask her out traditionally, just bring up the movie in a conversation, and if she's sounding intestered, she can tag along.

I THINK she said she was in a relationship before, but I'm not sure...

I guess that's the best bet if I want to remain ambiguous.

 

[stn]

Don't infer much into the relationship status. I know one girl who has her's as single and yet she's been seeing this guy for a while. She "claims" its because she doesn't want certain people to know she's in a relationship, but its all BS. My guess is she just wants to have her choices available just in case. I find it to be disrespectful and disgusting, but whatever.

Meh.

 

[grumble]

I guess, but she'd probably tell Jen that I asked anyway. She doesn't keep her mouth shut.



I THINK she said she was in a relationship before, but I'm not sure...

I guess that's the best bet if I want to remain ambiguous.

Why would you care if she didn't keep her mouth shut? If you get a single, ask her out. If not, shrug your shoulders and say too bad. I see no downside.

 

[Veelk]

Why would you care if she didn't keep her mouth shut? If you get a single, ask her out. If not, shrug your shoulders and say too bad. I see no downside.

Mainly because I don't want her to start avoiding me if she decides to reject me. I enjoy conversations with her so I'd like to keep her as a friend and not make things awkward if possible. Also, Alex might get pissed at me for making a move on one of her friends.

 

[Minamu]

Mainly because I don't want her to start avoiding me if she decides to reject me. I enjoy conversations with her so I'd like to keep her as a friend and not make things awkward if possible. Also, Alex might get pissed at me for making a move on one of her friends.

If she starts avoiding you over asking her out, she's immature.
Usually it's the guy who makes it awkward, for both parties. Don't go into it wanting something.
I don't think asking someone out is the same as making a move, and even if it is, and your friend get pissed at you, then she's immature as well. Simple as. Give less fucks

 

[jaxword]

What's the general consensus on how long to wait after someone's broken up before asking them out? Week? Month? Year? Note: answer is not a year.

 

[Minamu]

What's the general consensus on how long to wait after someone's broken up before asking them out? Week? Month? Year? Note: answer is not a year.

It all depends :S Google sure has many opinions. How well do you know her, are you looking for more than a rebound etc?

 

[Tess3ract]

I've given up on online dating. Girls are too stupid and shallow, and the ones that aren't don't seem to be that interested even though my dates went well. The ones that like me I have no interest in.

Then nearby everyone is a fucking idiot or has bad taste or doesn't take care of themselves.

Fuck it.

 

[grumble]

Mainly because I don't want her to start avoiding me if she decides to reject me. I enjoy conversations with her so I'd like to keep her as a friend and not make things awkward if possible. Also, Alex might get pissed at me for making a move on one of her friends.

I have a counter argument.

1. Alex doesn't get to decide if you are attracted to her friend or not. By asking her you're actually showing a lot of consideration.

2. Obviously she's not just a friend to you, so if you ask her out and she says no you're better off having the relationship fizzle a little so you can move on and grow attached to others. Confirmation that you're in the friendzone is useful. You'd also be surprised what people are okay with; if you ask her friend if she's single then your world isn't going to fall apart.

 

[Entropia]

I've given up on online dating. Girls are too stupid and shallow, and the ones that aren't don't seem to be that interested even though my dates went well. The ones that like me I have no interest in.

Then nearby everyone is a fucking idiot or has bad taste or doesn't take care of themselves.

Fuck it.

I still hop on POF and OKC just to see if there's anyone new. The problem is very rarely do any of the girls on there spark any interest in me, and conversation on that type of site seems so incredibly forced that I have a hard time initiating a conversation.

When I'm out with friends and I meet someone new, I can easily chat with them, get to know them and the conversation has a much more organic feeling to it. I can get numbers or get a girl to want my # pretty easily...

Which leads me to last Saturday, I was chatting with this girl at a friend's house party. I complimented her on her costume and we just started chatting which lead to us finding out we're taking the same course, though her class started a few weeks later so I offered her my number to text me if she ever needed help or anything with the course. I have a feeling that I won't hear from her though. In retrospect, I'm not sure why I didn't get her number as well...

 

[Gucci Messiah]

I still hop on POF and OKC just to see if there's anyone new. The problem is very rarely do any of the girls on there spark any interest in me, and conversation on that type of site seems so incredibly forced that I have a hard time initiating a conversation.

When I'm out with friends and I meet someone new, I can easily chat with them, get to know them and the conversation has a much more organic feeling to it. I can get numbers or get a girl to want my # pretty easily...

Which leads me to last Saturday, I was chatting with this girl at a friend's house party. I complimented her on her costume and we just started chatting which lead to us finding out we're taking the same course, though her class started a few weeks later so I offered her my number to text me if she ever needed help or anything with the course. I have a feeling that I won't hear from her though. In retrospect, I'm not sure why I didn't get her number as well...

At least you put yourself out there and that is what really matters. The ball is in her court now.

 

[Wolfe]

...is exactly what I refer to when I (and others) claim men & women can't be 'just' friends. Oh sure, you guys were friends, even Best Friends at that, but you would've jumped on that at the first opportunity.

Except when there is no attraction...

 

[electricshake]

I still hop on POF and OKC just to see if there's anyone new. The problem is very rarely do any of the girls on there spark any interest in me, and conversation on that type of site seems so incredibly forced that I have a hard time initiating a conversation.

I do the same, but I'm just not interested in most of the guys on there. I think I've replied to one message in the past month (which fizzled out before we even swapped numbers).

 

[Log4Girlz]

What's the general consensus on how long to wait after someone's broken up before asking them out? Week? Month? Year? Note: answer is not a year.

About a year.

 

[Pastry]

Alright GAF so I'm in an interesting situation. I'm talking to this girl right now that I really like and she is a virgin. I talked to one of her friends about it and its not for religious reasons which is great. I have known her for a little bit but we have only been talking and going on dates for a week. We go out drinking with some friends and I go back with her to her place afterwards. We end up making out a bunch and then at some point she mentions that we aren't going to have sex, I appreciate the notice, and I eventually crash there with her. I know I'm going to have to take this slowly and tread carefully before we have sex but does anyone have any advice for a situation like this? And no I'm not going to bail on this, I like the girl and I'd like to see what happens.

 

[UFRA]

Alright GAF so I'm in an interesting situation. I'm talking to this girl right now that I really like and she is a virgin. I talked to one of her friends about it and its not for religious reasons which is great. I have known her for a little bit but we have only been talking and going on dates for a week. We go out drinking with some friends and I go back with her to her place afterwards. We end up making out a bunch and then at some point she mentions that we aren't going to have sex, I appreciate the notice, and I eventually crash there with her. I know I'm going to have to take this slowly and tread carefully before we have sex but does anyone have any advice for a situation like this? And no I'm not going to bail on this, I like the girl and I'd like to see what happens.

Don't even think of having sex her first time while you've been drinking. It could make her have feelings of regret afterwards.

Stop thinking about sex as the goal, and just enjoy her as a person! You need to go slow, and just see where it leads you, but make sure if you do get to the point of sex with her, that you are both sober.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

Alright GAF so I'm in an interesting situation. I'm talking to this girl right now that I really like and she is a virgin. I talked to one of her friends about it and its not for religious reasons which is great. I have known her for a little bit but we have only been talking and going on dates for a week. We go out drinking with some friends and I go back with her to her place afterwards. We end up making out a bunch and then at some point she mentions that we aren't going to have sex, I appreciate the notice, and I eventually crash there with her. I know I'm going to have to take this slowly and tread carefully before we have sex but does anyone have any advice for a situation like this? And no I'm not going to bail on this, I like the girl and I'd like to see what happens.

It's only been a week. Come back when you're official and been dating for months and nothing's happened.

 

[Pastry]

Don't even think of having sex her first time while you've been drinking. It could make her have feelings of regret afterwards.

Stop thinking about sex as the goal, and just enjoy her as a person! You need to go slow, and just see where it leads you, but make sure if you do get to the point of sex with her, that you are both sober.

Good point, alcohol is kind of always involved when we have been hanging out to varying degrees (sometimes just a glass of wine other times getting wasted with friends). Never dealt with a virgin so this is all kind of confusing to deal with and most likely doubly so for her. I like her a lot so I'm trying not to mess this up, appreciate the advice.

It's only been a week. Come back when you're official and been dating for months and nothing's happened.

I'm not really complaining about the lack of action but more so looking for advice from people that have been in a similar situation (I guess my post might have come off as complaining, my bad. Especially since it hasn't been that long). Normally I'm pretty forward with women and sex so this is kind of new territory for me. With any other girl I probably would have gotten wasted and hooked up with them, which is apparently not a good idea and not something that had occurred to me thus the need for advice.

 

[Cubsfan23]

What's the general consensus on how long to wait after someone's broken up before asking them out? Week? Month? Year? Note: answer is not a year.

why are you asking her out?

 

[Spinluck]

So, went to Barnes & Nobles yesterday, just to write a paper. I run into a girl I knew since 10th grade, and we both kinda had a thing (a crush that went nowhere) on Senior year. We talked for like 5mins, and she gave me her phone number, even though I didn't ask for it and with that she said we should hangout.

Thing is, I'm in a relationship, I'm pretty sure she didn't know though. But I didn't exactly communicate that well enough (I guess girls no longer look at Facebook relationship statuses?). Although with my current relationship going down the shitter slowly, this couldn't happen at a worse time. I'm not gonna be a dick and do that to my current girl, I actually wanna try and fix things (we're about to go long distance...), but the mind is such an evil troll thing.

 

[Moneyhats2k5]

So, went to Barnes & Nobles yesterday, just to write a paper. I run into a girl I knew since 10th grade, and we both kinda had a thing (a crush that went nowhere) on Senior year. We talked for like 5mins, and she gave me her phone number, even though I didn't ask for it and with that she said we should hangout.

Thing is, I'm in a relationship, I'm pretty sure she didn't know though. But I didn't exactly communicate that well enough (I guess girls no longer look at Facebook relationship statuses?). Although with my current relationship going down the shitter slowly, this couldn't happen at a worse time. I'm not gonna be a dick and do that to my current girl, I actually wanna try and fix things (we're about to go long distance...), but the mind is such an evil troll thing.

Hit her up, but at least wait until it's over

 

[I'm an expert]

So, went to Barnes & Nobles yesterday, just to write a paper. I run into a girl I knew since 10th grade, and we both kinda had a thing (a crush that went nowhere) on Senior year. We talked for like 5mins, and she gave me her phone number, even though I didn't ask for it and with that she said we should hangout.

Thing is, I'm in a relationship, I'm pretty sure she didn't know though. But I didn't exactly communicate that well enough (I guess girls no longer look at Facebook relationship statuses?). Although with my current relationship going down the shitter slowly, this couldn't happen at a worse time. I'm not gonna be a dick and do that to my current girl, I actually wanna try and fix things (we're about to go long distance...), but the mind is such an evil troll thing.

Sounds like she wants to.. hang out. Catch up. Be friends. I'm not saying she's not interested, but from your story I don't think she was setting her sights on you. I don't think she gives a shit about your facebook or status or whatever. If only more guys were like that.. Hey, long time no see! Here's my number, let's catch up sometime. Why does it have to be any more than that to begin with. The way you make it sound, you have every girl on facebook's relationship memorized and expect the same of them lol.

 

[zethren]

Randomly decided to hit up a local bar last night for a beer, and as it turned out a bunch of my friends that I haven't seen in a little while were there.

I ended up talking with this really cool girl for most of the night. She has a bf, but it was good fun chatting her up.

Later on in the evening I was going to go over to another girl and start talking to her, but it was Karaoke night and my friend and I were called up for our song. By the time we were done she had left. Ah well, thems the ropes haha.

 

[Perspicacity]

So, went to Barnes & Nobles yesterday, just to write a paper. I run into a girl I knew since 10th grade, and we both kinda had a thing (a crush that went nowhere) on Senior year. We talked for like 5mins, and she gave me her phone number, even though I didn't ask for it and with that she said we should hangout.

Thing is, I'm in a relationship, I'm pretty sure she didn't know though. But I didn't exactly communicate that well enough (I guess girls no longer look at Facebook relationship statuses?). Although with my current relationship going down the shitter slowly, this couldn't happen at a worse time. I'm not gonna be a dick and do that to my current girl, I actually wanna try and fix things (we're about to go long distance...), but the mind is such an evil troll thing.

Things are going shitty in your current relationship and you're about to go long distance?

 

[SaskBoy]

So she agreed to go get coffee with me. So I tell her I can pick her up, but she says she can just drive herself and meet me there. Um ok? She said her place is probably out of my way, but I said it was no problem. I want to avoid that awkward situation when you're meeting someone somewhere and you get there and have to wait alone.

Should I just insist on driving her? I have this fear now that if we just meet there she'll bail on me and not show up. She doesn't seem like the type but you never know.

 

[zethren]

Just meet her there.

If she's the type to just bail on you then you don't want to waste your time with her anyway.

 

[Perspicacity]

So she agreed to go get coffee with me. So I tell her I can pick her up, but she says she can just drive herself and meet me there. Um ok? She said her place is probably out of my way, but I said it was no problem. I want to avoid that awkward situation when you're meeting someone somewhere and you get there and have to wait alone.

Should I just insist on driving her? I have this fear now that if we just meet there she'll bail on me and not show up. She doesn't seem like the type but you never know.

Don't insist on driving her, don't worry about her bailing - keep in mind that she wants to meet you right now so that shouldn't be an issue. Yes, part of the reason that she wants to drive herself is as a backup in case things go South but that's just a precaution and one that frankly I would take as well.
So what if you get there first and wait for a bit? Just grab a newspaper or read something on your phone.

This is a non-issue.

 

[Log4Girlz]

So she agreed to go get coffee with me. So I tell her I can pick her up, but she says she can just drive herself and meet me there. Um ok? She said her place is probably out of my way, but I said it was no problem. I want to avoid that awkward situation when you're meeting someone somewhere and you get there and have to wait alone.

Should I just insist on driving her? I have this fear now that if we just meet there she'll bail on me and not show up. She doesn't seem like the type but you never know.

Insisting on driving her would be like so awkward. Just meet her there. Browse the web on your phone while you wait.

 

[mooooose]

Like others have said, find another girl you can date. Sorry. You were friend-zoned a long time ago. You should just accept it, and move on. It sucks, but it's part of growing up. Don't dwell on her, especially since you were never romantically involved. Now, this doesn't mean to cut her out of your life, but you need to be honest with yourself about what you want out this friendship.

Are you her friend because you hope it leads to a relationship down the road? Are you her friend because you enjoy her companionship? Can you stomach hearing about her new BFs?

Also (and I've said this many times here), I was always leery of ladies with tons & tons of guy "friends", and few (if any) girl friends. Almost always correlated with the lady never really being single, but rather jumping from relationship to relationship. Fun girls to hang around with, but probably not the best option for a long term relationship. Your friend may be the exception, though.



Also, sorry to use you as an example, but this...

​

...is exactly what I refer to when I (and others) claim men & women can't be 'just' friends. Oh sure, you guys were friends, even Best Friends at that, but you would've jumped on that at the first opportunity.

Yeah it was just a thing of the night. I'm not in love with her and I feel fine about it now. It's whatever. I'd like to date her but I'm definitely not hung up on her.

 

[Minamu]

Insisting on driving her would be like so awkward. Just meet her there. Browse the web on your phone while you wait.

Or browse dating-age, asking for advice in the bathroom

 

[SaskBoy]

Or browse dating-age, asking for advice in the bathroom

Alright I'll just meet her there. I'll probably end up browsing GAF if I get there before her haha.

 

[starchild excalibur]

So she agreed to go get coffee with me. So I tell her I can pick her up, but she says she can just drive herself and meet me there. Um ok? She said her place is probably out of my way, but I said it was no problem. I want to avoid that awkward situation when you're meeting someone somewhere and you get there and have to wait alone.

Should I just insist on driving her? I have this fear now that if we just meet there she'll bail on me and not show up. She doesn't seem like the type but you never know.

If you were getting coffee with someone for the first time, wouldn't you want to have your own ride in case the date ended up sucking? It'd be more awkward to be in a situation where you have to share that drive back home.

 

[Vermillion]

I chose to give a girl my number instead of taking hers. Fine or no?

 

[Entropia]

I chose to give a girl my number instead of taking hers. Fine or no?

I did this last weekend and I felt it was a mistake. Unless she was asking for it to begin with, chances are you're not going to hear from her. You've given her the ball and you have to wait for her to take the shot.

If you had got her number, that way you can make the call on calling her.

 

[zethren]

Alright I'll just meet her there. I'll probably end up browsing GAF if I get there before her haha.

Don't forget to livestream the date to us.

Spoiler

Don't livestream the date to us.

 

[SaskBoy]

Don't forget to livestream the date to us.

Spoiler

Don't livestream the date to us.

You're giving me conflicting advice!! OMG so confused!!!