You don't have much of a choice, really. Let's assume you don't break up the day before, right? Your lady-friend will start to wonder what's up when you don't get her a rose or anything - which you won't, unless you want go deeper in. And honestly, its better to break up the day before than on the day of.
Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
- Thread starter soultron
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Save yourself the money and the time. It's going to suck for her, and she's going to cry, but don't delude her into thinking it's going places when it's not.
You know what you need to do.
Yeah, March 14 was what I was confused about. I was thinking "St. Patrick's day?" at first, but that's not really a guy-centric holiday. I remember seeing that video a long time ago.
That moment happened today. The moment a few of us want, maybe even wish for. The typical "Return of THE ex" through a text/phone call.
She called me today, after two years lol. Haven't had many experiences with women but she was the one I cared about most of the few. I wouldn't say love though. I might be naive but love is a two way street in my eyes and she treated me pretty badly.
Said she saw my name in her phone and missed me. Talked for a few minutes. Mentioned how she liked that I still kept her in my phone after all this time. I corrected her and told her that I knew the area code since I was in her state a few weeks ago for a dental school interview (which is true). Asked me how I was and I told her. Told her I had to go catch a party before I asked her how she was (which is true). She laughed and said bye.
To be honest, it took a lot to play it cool and not call her every name in the book. Its one thing to look at a relationship from the inside, and entirely different thing to look at it from the outside in. Because of that, I guess I held a small grudge against not only her but my self for letting my self get walked over as much as I did.
What does GAF plead? Good job? Or should I have vented?
She called me today, after two years lol. Haven't had many experiences with women but she was the one I cared about most of the few. I wouldn't say love though. I might be naive but love is a two way street in my eyes and she treated me pretty badly.
Said she saw my name in her phone and missed me. Talked for a few minutes. Mentioned how she liked that I still kept her in my phone after all this time. I corrected her and told her that I knew the area code since I was in her state a few weeks ago for a dental school interview (which is true). Asked me how I was and I told her. Told her I had to go catch a party before I asked her how she was (which is true). She laughed and said bye.
To be honest, it took a lot to play it cool and not call her every name in the book. Its one thing to look at a relationship from the inside, and entirely different thing to look at it from the outside in. Because of that, I guess I held a small grudge against not only her but my self for letting my self get walked over as much as I did.
What does GAF plead? Good job? Or should I have vented?
Jackben
bitch I'm taking calls.
You did well. Rebuffed and sent her on her way without being nasty. That takes a lot to do.
Well if you really want to get into it, Valentine's day itself is actually a vast and conniving corporate conspiracy concocted so that card companies can control our cash and our companions can con our cerebral cortex. But that's a story for another time.
BronzeWolf
Banned
You don't want a relationship. You just want a mirror in which to look at yourself.
It's quite fucking sad actually. You are not that smart, and not all that.
Funny thing is, part of me is sad though. I guess it really is over now despite the time gap.
Sure, I'm arrogant sometimes. It's a product of a lot of praise from people I respect. And it's a convenient emotional insulator.
But you don't know me, and you don't know how much effort I'm willing to put into a relationship. I just want to be in a relationship of mutual admiration, and so my standards are high.
BronzeWolf
Banned
I know you. You are the same as every other smart nerd that has not yet grown up. The girls that you want will not be attracted to you if you keep behaving like a walking encyclopedia. Arrogance is not sexy, especially for smart girls! HINT, I am smart too. Smart enough to realize that girls are people too, not just reflections of myself. Girls have choice. A smart beautiful girl has the choice of epic guys that have interesting lives and are secure of themselves...and you. What do YOU bring to the table, smart boy? I have seen your type crash and burn SO BAD in the field, SO MANY TIMES, it's not funny. Watch her roll her eyes
BronzeWolf
Banned
Seriously WHAT IS THIS SHIT???.
I hope you guys are taking notes and will never EVER bring something as self important and condescending as that shit. There is no room in that train of thought for HER input! No questions about what she wants and what she does, how she sees herself or what she feels about it, no chance for her to say anything, no, just me me me me.
Guys need to start asking questions and GOD DAMN LISTENING
Arrogance is sexy for many smart girls. Hell, there's an OKCupid question for it.
I realize that girls are people too. What I want out of a relationship is someone to learn from, not just spout ideas at. You've generated an image of me from a few paragraphs - that's smart? That's naive. You should know people are much more than that. They are ever-changing, and it is their faults and insecurities that I often find so endearing. I have faults too, arrogance is one of them. Often I hide it, but I figured I didn't need to here. It has given me a confidence to approach dating as the girl having to show that she is someone that I want to be with after the initial passion fades. Someone who can grow and explore intellectually with me. I have become comfortable with solitude, and that puts me in a position to give more completely of myself.
In fact, I like it when people challenge me. Why do you think I want a girl that can argue well? I love it when a girl uses a word I don't know, or chastises me for not checking my sources.
WTF? Do you have video of my date? I can't tell people what their dates are going to say. I told you we talked about our respective pasts, and I asked her about her research. Did you just glaze over that? Do you want me to give an essay about everything I learned by asking her questions? Is that relevant?
BronzeWolf
Banned
Wrong, smart girls don't date dumb jocks. Confidence is sexy. Arrogance is a turn off for smart girls
And? who fucking cares?
Bad approach. You learn from books and professors and papers. You want to be in a relationship to make her happy and because you feel much more happier and secure with her than without.
I don't care about other people I care about you. And I know you. Bro I work at the physics department at my university. I know you "smart" people. I am one of you. I have seen your type over and over again
But you don't give room for passion! You just give facts and numbers and useless trivia for her. She DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR TRIVIA... yet! The "yet" part is the important one. Trust me, she will learn all the shit about your research once you give her reasons to care. If she wanted to know more about your shit, she could have just googled it, but she probably didn't because when you first meet her, she does not care.
So you want your tutor with boobs and heels?
You can't tell what people are going to say, but you can guide conversation. And that's most dudes have trouble with. Having subjects that lead to an actual conversation about her feelings, wants and needs. That shit is what turns girls ON like a lighter. That's what makes a smart confident girl melt down like rubber on flame. Every fucking girl wants that. Smart girls are easier because they know THAT much
What has been the longest relationship you have been bro?
YesNOnoNOYes
Member
ianp622: good luck. intelligence is the one thing that turns me on too.
no phd here, though.
prologue: classy. nicely done.
no phd here, though.
prologue: classy. nicely done.
Exactly, girls like confident, but yet not cocky lads. And also it is of course appreciated, if a lad is sarcastic to some extend, smart, but still not a smartass. Also like mentioned before, listening is a good thing.
I need to still agree with ianp622 at some things, like to a girl being able to hold her own opinions, if they are well reasoned is quite naturally a good thing. Also being atheist or agnostic is absolutely brilliant.
So darlings, you are both having really good points, but lets just keep this cute and civilized ok?
BronzeWolf
Banned
I do too. I am agnostic atheist and I want a girl like that too. I want a smart girl. But you WON'T get that girl without attracting her FIRST. Most probably if you come out with such smart-pants talk on a first date or a sociable scene, you are blowing up your own chances for no God Damn reason. That's why you ASK QUESTIONS AND LISTEN. If she is as smart as you want her, she WILL challenge you!
I think you need to calm down a bit. Girls don't like to be interviewed either. You gauge her interest, continue talking if she seems engaged, and after awhile, you say, "enough about what I do, tell me what interests you".
BronzeWolf
Banned
With the risk of sounding like a pompous ass, I still think I wrote many good things that might not apply to ianp622 but might apply to other doods
I think you just earned a mental cookie from my part, even if I still think the ianp622 has some good points too.
Oh, and you and ianp622 would surely make a cute couple if you would be into that kind of things. You are challenging each other all the time, making adorable questions about each other and really having a good conversation with somewhat ok arguments. ;P
BronzeWolf
Banned
You know this wolf loves mental cookies
*pat pat* Attaboy/attagirl.
Oh, you mean me and BronzeWolf. Haha.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
If this were a movie and you two were opposite sexes, you'd guys end up getting married or something. One's the stuffy academic, the other is the passionate fun-loving dreamer, start out butting heads... one of you ends up running into the other's wedding at the last moment to proclaim your love.
It's pretty sweet.
It's pretty sweet.
BronzeWolf
Banned
What the flying fuck?
Oh, this is the part in the movie where BronzeWolf gets all angry and embarrassed at the insinuation and leaves in a huff.
BronzeWolf
Banned
I'd rather fuck some bitches
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
That is derogatory. It's probably in the R-rated cut.
Oh yes, not the adorable female that commented before me and with whom you were already planning marriage. Hahah.
No need to worry. I would imagine that most of us think you made yourself rather clear and don't (at least yet?) think you are a total douche. ^__^
This is a brilliant example of a good-mannered, well-listening, women-appreciating man we have been talking the whole time. ;P
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
If I had a drink, it would have been spat out.
BronzeWolf
Banned
It's not derogatory if you are a wolf.
BronzeWolf
Banned
Ohai! so, I was at the lab the other day and...
I read all posts in their avatars' voices, and this one sounded hilarious in the voice I made up for yours.
Whoa whoa, everyone calm down here, we're all friends. Keep it classy people.
Bronzewolf, this post is not any dig at you, if that wasn't already obvious.
I'm a guy and if I was on a date with a girl like this I'd be bored even if it was a topic I knew or didn't know. I want to learn about the person during a date, not get a thesis on why some theory works.
Deadly Cyclone
Pride of Iowa State
Agh, Valentine's Day.
BronzeWolf
Banned
I love Vday! What is it that it's argh about it for you?
In some twisted way I think I am going to take that as a compliment.
BronzeWolf
Banned
This is approaching 4chan quality level real fucking fast
Deadly Cyclone
Pride of Iowa State
Very rare success with the ladies in the past years. Had a small bit of luck over New Years, but I just can't seem to meet anyone interested. Been that way since early college. Wooo.
I've been wanting to move to a bigger city, just can't find a job in one being so far away. I feel that would help though.
Hahaha. Come on. At least I personally took it as BronzeWolf's sarcastic somewhat witty joke in the light of the previous discussion. Or was it just me?
Are you now particularly referring to my comment or this discussion in general level?
BronzeWolf
Banned
Very rare success with the ladies in the past years. Had a small bit of luck over New Years, but I just can't seem to meet anyone interested. Been that way since early college. Wooo.
I've been wanting to move to a bigger city, just can't find a job in one being so far away. I feel that would help though.
Most probably it wouldn't. You need to put yourself out there a little bit more. Are you consciously trying to be friendlier?
It was haha
I honestly don't quite know what the fuck I am talking about here right now. pretty much like 4chan
Hypereides
Member
The trait of nervousness is a common indicator of submission. You shouldve just taken a lead here, and taken her number. Instead of telling you her your, "the name of your favorite band" you shoulve told her you'll tell her next time, if she gives you her number.
Age is irrelevant in attraction. Ive been with girls in their late 17s to, women in the early 30s. Youre only limiting yourself when you block golden opportunities of meeting a new, interesting, fresh and exciting women. And dont restrict this to women only, but apply it to everyone. WHO CARES if youre 33 years old, 19 or 25!? Some times the people you least expect it can prove to learn you so much more.
Also, I imagine this girl must be really submissive and freaky in bed too. I bet she'll be into some raw domination. Girls that commonly, display nervous body language i.e nervously laughing, clumsy, acting overly nice, slight stutter, "uhm.."-ing alot etc. etc. most of the time indicates they adore being dominated in one form or the other.
Vermillion
Banned
To shorten a long story - I met a girl at an after-party thing (I was drunk and she was sober), and she ended up asking for my number, so I gave it to her. I went to text her once, and she seemed interested or whatever, but, damn my awkwardness, I couldn't think of anything meaningful to say. And I'm not even sure if I'm interested in this girl, but then again, I don't know her.
So I haven't texted her in a while, and now whenever we see each other on the street (what's the point of a big campus, really), we don't say anything or do anything past the initial noticing of each other. It's awkward as fuck and I feel terrible.
This was, for the record, last semester. What should/can I do?
So I haven't texted her in a while, and now whenever we see each other on the street (what's the point of a big campus, really), we don't say anything or do anything past the initial noticing of each other. It's awkward as fuck and I feel terrible.
This was, for the record, last semester. What should/can I do?
You do realize you left that answer open.
-Hahah. It was just totally you, I am a horrid academic boring douche.
-Hahah. It was totally a joke.
To me it is over 5 am. What is your excuse?
Mangoverboard
Banned
GAF, Advice needed!
So theres this girl I kinda know through some friends, we always dance together at partys and stuff but nothing ever happens. So today I run into her and a female friend of mine in the mall. They ask me if I'm going out tonight, I say I hadn't been planning on it and they both say I should definitely go, the girl I kinda know says its several times that I should go. Lots of eye contact too.
So later on, a few of my buddys ask me to go out too, I figure I've nothing to lose, no Uni till 1 tomorrow afternoon. So I write to the girl on FB (Don't have her number) and ask if she's still going out, she says she is and then states that I better be there.
Fast forward to the party tonight, we're standing with some friends and a good song comes on so I start dancing a little, she immediately joins in with me and then pulls me onto the dance floor. We're dancing for a while and getting closer. Literally as close as we can be to kissing without out actually kissing and then she pulls back and just kinda smiles at me, but keeps dancing with me, we're holding hands and everything. Same again then, close to kissing and she just pulls back and and looks at me and says "You can do better". I'm pretty stunned at this cuz I think she's damn sexy. I hadn't a clue how to react, there was no point talking cuz the drop in the song came and any conversation would have been lost.
Then for the rest of the night she was just kinda not looking at me and kinda half avoiding me, she'd always be with a friend when I was around. Just wondering what was up with her? Why the change of heart? She seemed so into me and then she told I could do better and preceded to practically ignore me! Whats up?
So theres this girl I kinda know through some friends, we always dance together at partys and stuff but nothing ever happens. So today I run into her and a female friend of mine in the mall. They ask me if I'm going out tonight, I say I hadn't been planning on it and they both say I should definitely go, the girl I kinda know says its several times that I should go. Lots of eye contact too.
So later on, a few of my buddys ask me to go out too, I figure I've nothing to lose, no Uni till 1 tomorrow afternoon. So I write to the girl on FB (Don't have her number) and ask if she's still going out, she says she is and then states that I better be there.
Fast forward to the party tonight, we're standing with some friends and a good song comes on so I start dancing a little, she immediately joins in with me and then pulls me onto the dance floor. We're dancing for a while and getting closer. Literally as close as we can be to kissing without out actually kissing and then she pulls back and just kinda smiles at me, but keeps dancing with me, we're holding hands and everything. Same again then, close to kissing and she just pulls back and and looks at me and says "You can do better". I'm pretty stunned at this cuz I think she's damn sexy. I hadn't a clue how to react, there was no point talking cuz the drop in the song came and any conversation would have been lost.
Then for the rest of the night she was just kinda not looking at me and kinda half avoiding me, she'd always be with a friend when I was around. Just wondering what was up with her? Why the change of heart? She seemed so into me and then she told I could do better and preceded to practically ignore me! Whats up?
Deadly Cyclone
Pride of Iowa State
Oh I am. Thing is I am still living in the town I went to school in. I have one of my best friends, and my brother still in town, but everyone else has moved away. My best friend is married and we're all really good friends but they don't go out to bars or anywhere like that. I get out around town, and am very friendly, I just haven't ran into any girl that has given me the light of day. Frustrating for sure, I just don't get why I haven't met one interested yet.
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