Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy

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I lurk these threads but guess I should thank everyone. Advice givers and those seeking advice.

A year ago I got sick of the way I am with social awkwardness and have been making the slow shift to change my life. I also worked to much and had no time for anyone else even if I wanted. After reading parts of the previous dating threads I followed some advice and have been working on things.

Now I have shifted my working position at my business to get more contact with customers which has been doing wonders for my confidence. I started off dreading going to work each day but I have gotten used to things and enjoy it now. Im still not completely comfortable with people closer to my age and female but have been putting in an effort to fake confidence.

Had a minor setback with being foolish enough to date an employee who turned out to be a nasty piece of work and it was rather harsh on my confidence. But I decided to put that behind me and that Im better than that so to speak.

I also have more free time so I'm just getting into photography. Haven't joined any clubs or anything yet though. But its a nice excuse to get out hiking and stuff and I enjoy it a lot.

Asked for a girls(customer) number the other day and have arranged to meet up for drinks. tomorrow. At my age its rather sad this is my first time getting a girls number but I'm stocked although rather nervous and look forward to getting more experience with a perspective relationship be that friendship or more.

Its a nice start anyway.
 
Okay, so I'm a little confused here. I got this girl's number on Saturday (yay), and some friends said that I should text her that day to say "Hey, it's me. Here's my number." As of this afternoon, I had no response. So I figure I'll give her a call today, and if I don't get a response, then I figure it was a wrong number. I call her and it just rings and rings and eventually I hear a message about the wireless customer not being available. So I shrug it off.

I check my phone a few hours later, and I see I missed a call from the number she gave me. So I call it back, and I get the same thing. Rings for a while and then a message about the wireless customer not being available. I check my phone a few minutes later to another missed call from that number. So I text the number, "Guess I keep missing you." To which I get a call, but I'm unable to answer in time. I call the number back, and I get a busy signal. The last attempt was at about 7:45 tonight.

My current "plan of attack" is to call tomorrow in the afternoon. I guess I don't want to come off as desperate, but how many times in one day can you play phone tag?

She sounds interested. Why not just start texting instead? Move to get a date ASAP. Don't spent a tonne of time talking over text/phone. That's what the date you set up is for.
 
She sounds interested. Why not just start texting instead? Move to get a date ASAP. Don't spent a tonne of time talking over text/phone. That's what the date you set up is for.

I tried texting, but she hasn't actually responded via text. After the last text I sent her, she did try to call me right away. It seems like she's interested, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up.

Note: We've never actually talked on the phone.
 
So this morning I decided finally I should spill my feelings to one of my good friends, telling her that I've liked her for a while. Now, she moved like a year ago, so I expected the answers she gave. I just wanted to get my feelings out so I don't linger on what could have been.

She basically said I'm one of her best friends and she wants to keep it that way and continue talking. A big factor in a relationship not working out is living far away from each other, which of course is to be expected.

Anyway, not really any success story here, but at least now I'm able to move on. Feels good man.

Though, I still kind of regret not saying anything sooner. Ah well, lesson learned.
 
So guys, I posted in this thread about a week ago about a girl I had interest in but was hesitant to make anything happen. Well, I did ask her out to dinner via text, and she replied with 'I'd love to! But we'd only be going as friends...'. I was alright with this, as it was what I was expecting. I sent her a responding text that basically said that's cool and talked about how I had to give it a shot, but that I'd like to hang as friends. She then tells me that she's just coming off of a bad break up where the guy was a douche to her/cheated, and that I shouldn't take it the wrong way. I say alright, and we talk some more and she says that she definitely does want to hang out 'as friends'. lol

A few days later, this girl, myself, and a few other people are hanging out and the girl mentions the homecoming dance and how it's going to be awkward for her since all her friends have partners, yet she didn't. She casually asks the group if any of us were going. Seeing how I was the only single guy with them, I felt like it was slyly and indirectly aimed at me. I couldn't go however, major bummer I know. :/

The next day the girl and I are texting each other and I'm asking her if she enjoyed herself and that I would have gone if I could have etc. etc. She then mentions her friends, herself, and her date. I feel like I've definitely dropped the ball at this point. I tell her that I hope her, her friends, and her date all had a good time and stuff. I then ask if she still would like to grab something to eat and chat sometime. She casually says that we could hang out at the cafe on our school's campus, but to me it felt like just an easy way to shrug me off haha. I say that that's a good idea, but we didn't set up a time and date, and we had stopped talking after that.

At this point, I'm really not sure where to go from here. In person, she seems to be giving me the signals that she has interest (smiling lots, laughing lots, touching her hair, making extended eye contact, light physical interaction, etc. etc.) But I still can't help but feel like I've hit a brick wall and should just turn around at this point based on what she's said. This chick is definitely a catch by the way, and I feel like she's way outta my league/has dudes asking her out constantly.

Thanks for reading in advance!
 
So guys, I posted in this thread about a week ago about a girl I had interest in but was hesitant to make anything happen. Well, I did ask her out to dinner via text, and she replied with 'I'd love to! But we'd only be going as friends...'. I was alright with this, as it was what I was expecting. I sent her a responding text that basically said that's cool and talked about how I had to give it a shot, but that I'd like to hang as friends. She then tells me that she's just coming off of a bad break up where the guy was a douche to her/cheated, and that I shouldn't take it the wrong way. I say alright, and we talk some more and she says that she definitely does want to hang out 'as friends'. lol

A few days later, this girl, myself, and a few other people are hanging out and the girl mentions the homecoming dance and how it's going to be awkward for her since all her friends have partners, yet she didn't. She casually asks the group if any of us were going. Seeing how I was the only single guy with them, I felt like it was slyly and indirectly aimed at me. I couldn't go however, major bummer I know. :/

The next day the girl and I are texting each other and I'm asking her if she enjoyed herself and that I would have gone if I could have etc. etc. She then mentions her friends, herself, and her date. I feel like I've definitely dropped the ball at this point. I tell her that I hope her, her friends, and her date all had a good time and stuff. I then ask if she still would like to grab something to eat and chat sometime. She casually says that we could hang out at the cafe on our school's campus, but to me it felt like just an easy way to shrug me off haha. I say that that's a good idea, but we didn't set up a time and date, and we had stopped talking after that.

At this point, I'm really not sure where to go from here. In person, she seems to be giving me the signals that she has interest (smiling lots, laughing lots, touching her hair, making extended eye contact, light physical interaction, etc. etc.) But I still can't help but feel like I've hit a brick wall and should just turn around at this point based on what she's said. This chick is definitely a catch by the way, and I feel like she's way outta my league/has dudes asking her out constantly.

Thanks for reading in advance!

Sounds to me like it's not something I would count on going anywhere, but I guess just keep an eye on it. Do NOT bank on this one though.
 
Sounds to me like it's not something I would count on going anywhere, but I guess just keep an eye on it. Do NOT bank on this one though.

Yeah that's what I'm feeling too. She also made sure to tell me that she has been treated like crap by guys in the past because she likes to take it slow and isn't a "whore". She also made sure to tell me that she's a "good girl" and doesn't want to be pressured into changing for anyone. This was all brought up in regards to her ex-boyfriend btw. If I were to guess, I'd say she's still got her V Card, but I'm not positive especially since she's got a lot going for her.
 
Alright GAF

Gonna ask the one girl after class tomorrow and I stand by it. Confident as ever but there's always that one thing at the back of our head saying otherwise.

I'm still wondering if my actions are still too last minute of a plan. Haven't talked to her since last Thursday, but whenever we talk, there's chemistry or maybe she's fucking nice I don't know.

But hey, nothing to lose right?
For what it's worth, I asked out the girl in my class last week. It literally took me like 2 whole weeks to get up enough courage to do so, but I finally did and we went out last weekend.

Had I not, I would've missed out on a great time and a great girl. Even if she says no, it's the same result as not asking her in the first place, so no harm done.

Good luck and let us know how it goes!

So this morning I decided finally I should spill my feelings to one of my good friends, telling her that I've liked her for a while. Now, she moved like a year ago, so I expected the answers she gave. I just wanted to get my feelings out so I don't linger on what could have been.

She basically said I'm one of her best friends and she wants to keep it that way and continue talking. A big factor in a relationship not working out is living far away from each other, which of course is to be expected.

Anyway, not really any success story here, but at least now I'm able to move on. Feels good man.

Though, I still kind of regret not saying anything sooner. Ah well, lesson learned.
In the future, don't tell her your feelings, act on them instead. One of the surefire ways to get rejected is to spill your feelings to a girl you're not romantically involved with yet. Trust me, I've been there.

Lesson learned for next time.
 
Well, just ended a FANTASTIC Valentine's Day date. I work tomorrow, so we had to have it tonight. A delicious dinner at Olive Garden followed up by some Netflix browsing at my place, and after one thing led to another, we finally fucked. We spent the next three hours talking, laughing, and fooling around some more. Since she's a professional illustrator at a large clothing chain, I decided to show her some old comics I drew back in high school, over which we had a good laugh. Both of us didn't want her to leave, but since she works early, I had to reluctantly give her the boot.

What a great night. Online dating does in fact work, folks.
 
I posted a few pages ago and received two good/short responses. I would like some more words of wisdom though.

Let me say right off the back, I've had something with this girl on and off since i was 13, until i was 19. I'm 21 now. Each time we tried to have a relationship, she always ended up walking away from me. She moved and I didn't mind long distance but she did. Despite that, she always tries to contact me one way or another every year to say that she "misses me". And it bothers me to no end that this girl had the nerve to call me 2 years after our last blowout(it was bad). And now she calls near Valentines no less?>.>.

Anyway, she said she saw my name in her phone and missed me. Talked for a few minutes. Mentioned how she liked that I still kept her in my phone after all this time. I corrected her and told her that I knew the area code since I was in her state a few weeks ago for a dental school interview (which is true). Asked me how I was and I told her. Told her I had to go catch a party before I asked her how she was (which is true). She laughed and said bye.

To be honest, it took a lot to play it cool and not call her every name in the book. I guess I held a small grudge against not only her but my self for letting my self get walked over as much as I did. Do I still care about her? Of course I do. I would never take her back though. Just hurts how that 13 year old girl turned out like that you know? And even more so, how I will remember her. I don't want to remember her like this, but can't do anything about reality right? She's a big part of who I am and I grew the most(for the better), because of the crap she put me through that I will no longer put up with from any women.
 
Well, today my badass friend was an awesome winggirl and went on a double with me and her roommate. The four of us went to dinner and started off a great rapport, and we went back to their place and played Soul Calibur 5 (gamer girls = win). Got my date's number, and she genuinely seemed to enjoy my company (even making an audible "ohh!" when I said I had to leave for a prior arrangement). We'll see how this goes, wish me luck GAF!
 
Yes. It'll get her in the mood to sick your duck.
I lol'd

Awesome right? The only problems are that she is 5 years older, she was at one point ready to be engaged until her boyfriend cheated on her (If things don't work out I don't want to hurt her), she doesn't have much social proof since she is a student teacher and all her friends took sides when her boyfriend cheated and she lost almost all of them.

Now I am still recovering from a breakup and I am just really emotionally confused as I still want my ex back. There is also a girl in a class at my college that I want to ask out. I don't know what to do....

As far as the first paragraph... 5 years older shouldn't be a factor at all...

The rest has to do with something SOMEONE ELSE did, not you. It's not your problem. If she's going to project those problems onto you, or worse, if you're going to try to "fix" those things, then you're heading down the wrong path. You two being together and things working out is the "fix".

The 2nd part... well, yeah, that's tough if it was less than 2 weeks ago. Ask the two girls out, move slowly, see how things go.


Edit: Jebus, I've read 9 pages and page 10 (45) starts off with two long walls of text... might save those for the morning...
 

I'm glad I didn't wait. Reading that hurt... minus the original on again, off again, it's very similar to what I just came out of last month. Ignore her. I know that feel bro... ugh.

Flakey childish girls who don't know what the fuck they want, want to take everyone down with them so long as they end up getting what they want. Unfortunately I saw all the warning signs 3 weeks in advance but I didn't act on them, not that it helps your situation any, but those immature girls don't deserve the time of day. Fuck... that one seriously hits too close.

She's still trying to play you by manipulating your friends. Cut off ties, don't let her string you along any further. It's total bullshit, no one deserves that shit. If you don't want to be in a serious relationship, make that clear. Don't give all the signs that you're heading down a serious path, say all the right things, then pretend you don't know what someone is talking about a few months later.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgggggggggggg.... lmao.

Sorry for the proxy vent.

Drop her.
 
I lurk these threads but guess I should thank everyone. Advice givers and those seeking advice.

A year ago I got sick of the way I am with social awkwardness and have been making the slow shift to change my life. I also worked to much and had no time for anyone else even if I wanted. After reading parts of the previous dating threads I followed some advice and have been working on things.

Now I have shifted my working position at my business to get more contact with customers which has been doing wonders for my confidence. I started off dreading going to work each day but I have gotten used to things and enjoy it now. Im still not completely comfortable with people closer to my age and female but have been putting in an effort to fake confidence.

Had a minor setback with being foolish enough to date an employee who turned out to be a nasty piece of work and it was rather harsh on my confidence. But I decided to put that behind me and that Im better than that so to speak.

I also have more free time so I'm just getting into photography. Haven't joined any clubs or anything yet though. But its a nice excuse to get out hiking and stuff and I enjoy it a lot.

Asked for a girls(customer) number the other day and have arranged to meet up for drinks. tomorrow. At my age its rather sad this is my first time getting a girls number but I'm stocked although rather nervous and look forward to getting more experience with a perspective relationship be that friendship or more.

Its a nice start anyway.
funny-gif-asian-guy-thumbs-up.gif


I love stories like this.
 
So the other day I got the cheek from a girl when I tried to kiss her after a date =/ I laughed it off on the way home, but then I got a text from her apologizing for the awkwardness, and that she was just nervous. Really? I don't know, she's a nice girl but that cheek thing really turned me off. Now she wants to go out again and I really have no idea if I want to or not.

Try again. Some girls have the retarded policy of not kissing on the first date. No sex on the first date? TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE. No Kiss? come the fuck on, you are just scaring guys out.

I guess this thread is perfect for my rant and more importantly for more advice:

I feel that everytime I've asked a woman in the past four years, I end up having them hate me and want to avoid me.

What's worse is that I feel that even women who have acquaintance with want to avoid me. I feel the most hated person alive and I don't understand what I did wrong.

I don't want to try anymore because I feel I just have more women hate me and make me feel even more miserable.

Women could sense I never had a date and automatically that puts me at a disadvantage. At 27, I hate/fear lonely but at the same time the amount of therapists I've been to makes me no longer want to torture myself trying again.

I'm a terrible conversationalist and at the same time I'm terrible at telling women what I want. I'm even afraid of a woman telling me yes because I have no idea what to do next. Whenever I see a woman who might flirt or show some interest I shy away from it like a reflex. I don't know how to get to start let alone how to keep interest going.:(

This one topic has made me mentally ill all these years and it is self torture.

You need to work on your conversation skills now! You need to make conversation by leaving cliffhangers and hooks. Tell a story. Tell us a story.

First date sex...is it a bad sign? Too soon? It happened with a girl this weekend and I'm not sure what to think...it wasn't expected and I really liked her. I read horror stories about it. Need the GAF outlook.
Too soon in my book. Unless you want to deal with potential epic drama.


Okay, so I'm a little confused here. I got this girl's number on Saturday (yay), and some friends said that I should text her that day to say "Hey, it's me. Here's my number."
Your friends' advice suck. You call her to ask her out, you don't send sms's

I guess I don't want to come off as desperate, but how many times in one day can you play phone tag?
Call 2 times tomorrow. If she does not answer, drop it! And why the fuck are you not being able to answer your fucking phone? jeez
 
For what it's worth, I asked out the girl in my class last week. It literally took me like 2 whole weeks to get up enough courage to do so, but I finally did and we went out last weekend.

Had I not, I would've missed out on a great time and a great girl. Even if she says no, it's the same result as not asking her in the first place, so no harm done.

Good luck and let us know how it goes!


In the future, don't tell her your feelings, act on them instead. One of the surefire ways to get rejected is to spill your feelings to a girl you're not romantically involved with yet. Trust me, I've been there.

Lesson learned for next time.

But I think asking her out ON valentines day in hopes of plans with her DURING valentines day would be too much of a hassle.

Again I have this confident attitude about all of this and I'm just scared I'll come running into a brick wall in the process. And I'm not gonna discount the rejection but c'mon now.
 
Update! I talked to my friend who works there. He told me where in the store she works and generally when she works, although he did not know her exact schedule. Just the info I need anyway, so now I have a plan of attack.
Fuck yeah this seems awesome! please keep me posted

But hey, nothing to lose right?
Fuck yeah that is the attitude! Two good ones in a row, this is good

I lurk these threads but guess I should thank everyone. Advice givers and those seeking advice.

A year ago I got sick of the way I am with social awkwardness and have been making the slow shift to change my life. I also worked to much and had no time for anyone else even if I wanted. After reading parts of the previous dating threads I followed some advice and have been working on things.

Now I have shifted my working position at my business to get more contact with customers which has been doing wonders for my confidence. I started off dreading going to work each day but I have gotten used to things and enjoy it now. Im still not completely comfortable with people closer to my age and female but have been putting in an effort to fake confidence.

Had a minor setback with being foolish enough to date an employee who turned out to be a nasty piece of work and it was rather harsh on my confidence. But I decided to put that behind me and that Im better than that so to speak.

I also have more free time so I'm just getting into photography. Haven't joined any clubs or anything yet though. But its a nice excuse to get out hiking and stuff and I enjoy it a lot.

Asked for a girls(customer) number the other day and have arranged to meet up for drinks. tomorrow. At my age its rather sad this is my first time getting a girls number but I'm stocked although rather nervous and look forward to getting more experience with a perspective relationship be that friendship or more.

Its a nice start anyway.
Nothing left to add, you are THE FUCKING MAN! keep at it bro, keep us posted

So this morning I decided finally I should spill my feelings to one of my good friends, telling her that I've liked her for a while.
Yeah, worst decision ever right there bro. It's already over before it started

Now, she moved like a year ago, so I expected the answers she gave. I just wanted to get my feelings out so I don't linger on what could have been.
So you went for plain out rejection without any chance of success? Doesn't seem like a good plan buddy. Don't do it again.

She basically said I'm one of her best friends and she wants to keep it that way and continue talking.
BURRRRRRRRRRRRRN

A big factor in a relationship not working out is living far away from each other, which of course is to be expected.
So if that wasn't bad enough, this is about a possible long distance relationship? You NEVER had a chance dood. Are there not enough girls where you live? Won't you need your dick kissed and cleaned sometime? FUCK LDR (exceptions applied, as in people that will actually get married the fuck out of each other)

Anyway, not really any success story here, but at least now I'm able to move on. Feels good man.
Well at least your learned what not to do.

So guys, I posted in this thread about a week ago about a girl I had interest in but was hesitant to make anything happen. Well, I did ask her out to dinner via text, and she replied with 'I'd love to! But we'd only be going as friends...'. I was alright with this, as it was what I was expecting.
FUCK THAT it's not all right!
"So girl, I want to fuck you so bad"
"NO! You can't fuck me! But I can cut your penis in little pieces!"
"Yes! I'd love that!"

I sent her a responding text that basically said that's cool and talked about how I had to give it a shot, but that I'd like to hang as friends. She then tells me that she's just coming off of a bad break up where the guy was a douche to her/cheated, and that I shouldn't take it the wrong way.
I am interested in what said Douche side of the story. But whatever

I say alright
"So girl, can you cut my penis a little bit more?"

and we talk some more and she says that she definitely does want to hang out 'as friends'. lol
"well of course! *chop*chop*chop* here!"

A few days later, this girl, myself, and a few other people are hanging out and the girl mentions the homecoming dance and how it's going to be awkward for her since all her friends have partners, yet she didn't.
"NOW WHY THE FUCK DID I NOT BEFRIEND THAT GAY GUY WHEN I COULD?"

She casually asks the group if any of us were going. Seeing how I was the only single guy with them, I felt like it was slyly and indirectly aimed at me. I couldn't go however, major bummer I know. :/
"hey theAntagonist will you be a good gay friend and go to the homecoming dance with me?"
"I would love to, but I can't"
"Bummer"
"Sorry I would have loved you to cut my penis in even tinier pieces"

The next day the girl and I are texting each other and I'm asking her if she enjoyed herself and that I would have gone if I could have etc. etc. She then mentions her friends, herself, and her date.
"So here is my date do you like his fashion sense"
"sure I do!"
"atta boy that's my gay friend :D btw where is your penis?"
"LOL don't have one

I feel like I've definitely dropped the ball at this point. I tell her that I hope her, her friends, and her date all had a good time and stuff. I then ask if she still would like to grab something to eat and chat sometime. She casually says that we could hang out at the cafe on our school's campus, but to me it felt like just an easy way to shrug me off haha. I say that that's a good idea, but we didn't set up a time and date, and we had stopped talking after that.
"look girl, I decided I don't like my penis cut to pieces every time I talk to you"
"..."
"girl?"
"..."

At this point, I'm really not sure where to go from here. In person, she seems to be giving me the signals that she has interest (smiling lots, laughing lots, touching her hair, making extended eye contact, light physical interaction, etc. etc.) But I still can't help but feel like I've hit a brick wall and should just turn around at this point based on what she's said.
She told you STRAIGHT UP FRONT SHE IS NOT FUCKING INTERESTED, WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?

This ch
ick is definitely a catch by the way, and I feel like she's way outta my league/has dudes asking her out constantly.
Oh She is a catch I bet. She must be amazing in bed. Just not to you buddy.

Thanks for reading in advance!
Sorry for the tough love bro, you need it.

For what it's worth, I asked out the girl in my class last week. It literally took me like 2 whole weeks to get up enough courage to do so, but I finally did and we went out last weekend.

Had I not, I would've missed out on a great time and a great girl. Even if she says no, it's the same result as not asking her in the first place, so no harm done.
You are the man

Well, just ended a FANTASTIC Valentine's Day date. I work tomorrow, so we had to have it tonight. A delicious dinner at Olive Garden followed up by some Netflix browsing at my place, and after one thing led to another, we finally fucked. We spent the next three hours talking, laughing, and fooling around some more. Since she's a professional illustrator at a large clothing chain, I decided to show her some old comics I drew back in high school, over which we had a good laugh. Both of us didn't want her to leave, but since she works early, I had to reluctantly give her the boot.

What a great night. Online dating does in fact work, folks.
good on ya for fuckin' em biatch! Was it sweet or what?
YOU ARE THE MAN!

Let me say right off the back, I've had something with this girl on and off since i was 13, until i was 19. I'm 21 now. Each time we tried to have a relationship, she always ended up walking away from me.
Yet you are still there huh? I would give you hell if you weren't so young.

She moved and I didn't mind long distance but she did.
Of course she does! She minds not having some regular fucking in her life

Despite that, she always tries to contact me one way or another every year to say that she "misses me". And it bothers me to no end that this girl had the nerve to call me 2 years after our last blowout(it was bad). And now she calls near Valentines no less?>.>.
OH SHE IS FUCKING EVIL! WHAT A PIECE OF SHIT SHE IS ALL RIGHT! I know why she has kept you on a leash for so many years. Oh boy do I understand her type!

Anyway, she said she saw my name in her phone and missed me.
Because all the other guys she is fucking got fed up with her Bullshit and won't take her call. THAT'S WHY

Talked for a few minutes. Mentioned how she liked that I still kept her in my phone after all this time.
"I love how I keep you on a leash!"

I corrected her and told her that I knew the area code since I was in her state a few weeks ago for a dental school interview (which is true). Asked me how I was and I told her. Told her I had to go catch a party before I asked her how she was (which is true). She laughed and said bye.
You should have never picked up the phone. FUCKING ASS BITCH

To be honest, it took a lot to play it cool and not call her every name in the book.
You did good though. She might be the suckiest of bitches, but you are still a gentleman.

I guess I held a small grudge against not only her but my self for letting my self get walked over as much as I did.
small grudge? Dude, you should be fucking infuriated at her! you are not made of wood! You have feelings and bitch broke them all! She EARNED the hate

Do I still care about her? Of course I do.
And why the fuck do you care for her, specially if she DOES NOT CARE FOR YOU

She's a big part of who I am and I grew the most(for the better), because of the crap she put me through that I will no longer put up with from any women.
See? You are right! She taught you good! Shame she is not the one to reap the rewards. Some other luckier and finer dame will be. Her loss. Miserable piece of bitch

Well, today my badass friend was an awesome winggirl and went on a double with me and her roommate. The four of us went to dinner and started off a great rapport, and we went back to their place and played Soul Calibur 5 (gamer girls = win). Got my date's number, and she genuinely seemed to enjoy my company (even making an audible "ohh!" when I said I had to leave for a prior arrangement). We'll see how this goes, wish me luck GAF!
You are the man! And your bro is the man too!

Hey, there was no discernible amount of insects that I could see in my Chicken & Shrimp Carbonara. Plus I had a gift card, so :p
Pay no heed! I love the Olive Garden!!! We are not all high class food connoisseurs here! As long as you had fun and sex which you DID. Full stomach and an empty dick? Could you ask for more?
 
Fuck yeah this seems awesome! please keep me posted

The plan is basically to go in in the morning (about 11:15-ish) between my classes and go for it. She works mornings usually, but there is no guarantee she is working tomorrow. I think Target opens at 10, so if she is somehow working less than 2 hours, I will seriously be shocked. There's a pretty damn good chance she will be there.

Edit: Well this one opens at 8. Still, I doubt she will be there for less than four hours.
 
FUCK THAT it's not all right!
"So girl, I want to fuck you so bad"
"NO! You can't fuck me! But I can cut your penis in little pieces!"
"Yes! I'd love that!"


I am interested in what said Douche side of the story. But whatever


"So girl, can you cut my penis a little bit more?"


"well of course! *chop*chop*chop* here!"


"NOW WHY THE FUCK DID I NOT BEFRIEND THAT GAY GUY WHEN I COULD?"


"hey theAntagonist will you be a good gay friend and go to the homecoming dance with me?"
"I would love to, but I can't"
"Bummer"
"Sorry I would have loved you to cut my penis in even tinier pieces"


"So here is my date do you like his fashion sense"
"sure I do!"
"atta boy that's my gay friend :D btw where is your penis?"
"LOL don't have one


"look girl, I decided I don't like my penis cut to pieces every time I talk to you"
"..."
"girl?"
"..."


She told you STRAIGHT UP FRONT SHE IS NOT FUCKING INTERESTED, WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?

This ch
Oh She is a catch I bet. She must be amazing in bed. Just not to you buddy.


Sorry for the tough love bro, you need it.

Yeah... I definitely know what you mean. She pretty much shut the door I'm thinking, and I shouldn't be 'just friends'. Last girl that told me that I told her straight up that I didn't want to be her friend. Definitely the whole cock-tease shit has been bothering me, so yeah I should probably let this one slide.

I actually told this chick a few weeks ago to tell dudes straight up that you have no interest in seeing them if they ask, rather than leading them on. Guess she didn't heed my advice when it came to me at least lol.

Thanks man for reading all that, and yeah I need someone to be straight with me. I'm just going to not say anymore about the shit to her. If she starts talking to me, and asks ME out or something, then I might reconsider. Unless that happens though, I'm done with the thought and moving on to the next one.
 
Maybe her breath was bad. Crack a joke about that, and give it another shot.
You can make a joke out of it, but save yourself and the girl and don't make a bad breath one. A girl can make a joke about bad breath, but if you are dating a girl, you just can't do that or it is bye bye.

Just a friendly advice.

Yeah I'm not that stupid but honestly I've had people literally figure out I've never been on a date or know I'm virgin without me saying a thing. That's why I believe people can sense something wrong.

I've had people on two different jobs figure out I was virgin. I guess people can sense something.
Yes, people can sometimes literally figure out if you are a virgin. I have one friend I play with once in a while on Xbox and I figured it out in no time on online discussion while we were shooting people on BFBC2 back in the day. That is quite sad. I mean not the fact that he is one, but the fact that even I could easily tell he is. He lacked (and still lacks) the confidence basicly and he is such a chivalric white knight with his shiny armor.

Still there have been people I seriously haven't even suspected it and I have been more or less like wtf, you can't be serious so it is also possible to make people not to even nearly believe it. Like highluxury said, "fake it, till you make it". Act confident, even if you wouldn't really feel like it and be or at least act relaxed around girls. It also helps if you aren't constantly thinking how desperately you need a fuck, but for example just think, how awesomely brilliant lad you are in general and what good qualities you have all in all.

who is that in your avatar?
That would be me.

Yeah... I definitely know what you mean. She pretty much shut the door I'm thinking, and I shouldn't be 'just friends'. Last girl that told me that I told her straight up that I didn't want to be her friend. Definitely the whole cock-tease shit has been bothering me, so yeah I should probably let this one slide.
From a girls point of view I need to say that it is also shitty situation. I totally understand if someone wants to be only a friend and girls (at least I) don't even say this to dis, insult or make you feel bad, but because they seriously like you and would want to just hang around with you cause you are awesome company, no strings attached.

Girls don't have cocks, thus they just don't seriously see it in that cock-tease way. It is not a good feeling, when one of your best friends, just because he happens to lust you too much, pulls out this "please, I can't bare this as it is, do not contact me ever again in any way" -card.
 
From a girls point of view I need to say that it is also shitty situation. I totally understand if someone wants to be only a friend and girls (at least I) don't even say this to dis, insult or make you feel bad, but because they seriously like you and would want to just hang around with you cause you are awesome company, no strings attached.

Girls don't have cocks, thus they just don't seriously see it in that cock-tease way. It is not a good feeling, when one of your best friends, just because he happens to lust you too much, pulls out this "please, I can't bare this as it is, do not contact me ever again in any way" -card.

Oh I'm cool with being friends, it's just the last girl was never clear with me in her intentions, and led me through a whole bunch of muck which is a long story, then told me that she 'wanted to be friends'. I told her that I didn't want to be her friend. I only want to be friends if that's what we both want. If both of us don't want that, then it just can't be, you know? At least not until one individual changes to adjust to the way the relationship between the two of them are.

I'm cool with this girl wanting to be my friend in a legitimate sense, but if she's only saying 'lets be friends' as a way to politely let me down, then I'd rather her just be honest with the both of us. :)
 
So I've been feeling down last two weeks. I haven't seen my girlfriend since the 21st of January and the contact between us hasn't been that great... I've posted my story about her kissing somebody else and her being grounded (which is the reason we haven't seen each other). After I heard that I was devastated, of course, but I decided to hang on. She told me she still loves me and I still love her. Two weeks ago she suddenly didn't want to Skype, call, text and chat anymore. I'm really worried about this, after what happened she just turned cold. I told her how I felt about this and she apoligized, she told me that she is busy with school and that her grandmother was on her deathbed.

Last Friday, her grandmother passed away. I don't know how she is coping with this, she hasn't shared her feelings at all. Sunday she texted that she wanted to be left alone for a while. But I just want to be there for her and this not knowing what is happening is killing me. Is she just having a rough time and wants to be alone? Or is it over and she isn't able or willing to tell me? The timing of her grandmother's death is terrible, it already wasn't going that well between us and now this.

I have feelings too and the fact that she does not want me to be there for her is really odd to me. I've decided to go see her today, not only to show my support but also to come clear about my own feelings. But how do I approach this? She doesn't know that I'll be coming over yet.

However, this sounds like a stupid idea. Chances are that she doesn't want me to be there, maybe she isn't home at all or busy with other stuff. I'm also afraid of looking selfish. She is the one who is supposed to be sad and feel awful, but I'm feeling down as well because of her distant behavior. I don't know what to think or do.
 
So I've been feeling down last two weeks. I haven't seen my girlfriend since the 21st of January and the contact between us hasn't been that great... I've posted my story about her kissing somebody else and her being grounded (which is the reason we haven't seen each other). After I heard that I was devastated, of course, but I decided to hang on. She told me she still loves me and I still love her. Two weeks ago she suddenly didn't want to Skype, call, text and chat anymore. I'm really worried about this, after what happened she just turned cold. I told her how I felt about this and she apoligized, she told me that she is busy with school and that her grandmother was on her deathbed.

Last Friday, her grandmother passed away. I don't know how she is coping with this, she hasn't shared her feelings at all. Sunday she texted that she wanted to be left alone for a while. But I just want to be there for her and this not knowing what is happening is killing me. Is she just having a rough time and wants to be alone? Or is it over and she isn't able or willing to tell me? The timing of her grandmother's death is terrible, it already wasn't going that well between us and now this.

I have feelings too and the fact that she does not want me to be there for her is really odd to me. I've decided to go see her today, not only to show my support but also to come clear about my own feelings. But how do I approach this? She doesn't know that I'll be coming over yet.

However, this sounds like a stupid idea. Chances are that she doesn't want me to be there, maybe she isn't home at all or busy with other stuff. I'm also afraid of looking selfish. She is the one who is supposed to be sad and feel awful, but I'm feeling down as well because of her distant behavior. I don't know what to think or do.

If she wants to talk to you, she will. How long you want to wait for that before you drop her is up to you. That "want to be there for her" feeling is complete bullshit and will only fuck you over in the end. If she says she needs to be alone, she needs to be alone. Trying to inject yourself will only frustrate her.
 
So I've been feeling down last two weeks. I haven't seen my girlfriend since the 21st of January and the contact between us hasn't been that great... I've posted my story about her kissing somebody else and her being grounded (which is the reason we haven't seen each other). After I heard that I was devastated, of course, but I decided to hang on. She told me she still loves me and I still love her. Two weeks ago she suddenly didn't want to Skype, call, text and chat anymore. I'm really worried about this, after what happened she just turned cold. I told her how I felt about this and she apoligized, she told me that she is busy with school and that her grandmother was on her deathbed.

Last Friday, her grandmother passed away. I don't know how she is coping with this, she hasn't shared her feelings at all. Sunday she texted that she wanted to be left alone for a while. But I just want to be there for her and this not knowing what is happening is killing me. Is she just having a rough time and wants to be alone? Or is it over and she isn't able or willing to tell me? The timing of her grandmother's death is terrible, it already wasn't going that well between us and now this.

I have feelings too and the fact that she does not want me to be there for her is really odd to me. I've decided to go see her today, not only to show my support but also to come clear about my own feelings. But how do I approach this? She doesn't know that I'll be coming over yet.

However, this sounds like a stupid idea. Chances are that she doesn't want me to be there, maybe she isn't home at all or busy with other stuff. I'm also afraid of looking selfish. She is the one who is supposed to be sad and feel awful, but I'm feeling down as well because of her distant behavior. I don't know what to think or do.

How old are you two? Also, please link me to the story about her "kissing someone else". There better be a damn good reason why you didn't bail out after that....
 
I'm 17 years old and had the feeling that we could work this out. I think we still have a chance but if it will completely fuck me over if this whole situation doesn't get better soon. Link to my post, think that it will be useful to read the advise and my own posts on that page as well. The thing is, I love her but it is also completely tearing me apart. But I'm young and making a mistake here, right?

Should I just let it be and not visit her then? I do not want to break-up with her, I want to see her and find out if she doesn't want to break-up with me neither.

Edit: to clarify my feelings. I'm basically waiting for her to talk to me. Whether she decides to break up, or she wants to keep this thing going.

Edit2: This all sounds so wrong. I really do love her but with all this drama going on I'm not sure if she still loves me. I already was in doubt before her gran passed away and now I really do not know what to do.
 
Well, just ended a FANTASTIC Valentine's Day date. I work tomorrow, so we had to have it tonight. A delicious dinner at Olive Garden followed up by some Netflix browsing at my place, and after one thing led to another, we finally fucked. We spent the next three hours talking, laughing, and fooling around some more. Since she's a professional illustrator at a large clothing chain, I decided to show her some old comics I drew back in high school, over which we had a good laugh. Both of us didn't want her to leave, but since she works early, I had to reluctantly give her the boot.

What a great night. Online dating does in fact work, folks.

It really doesn't, but I'm more than happy to see you may be an exception to the norm! Congrats
 
Bacon, you're 17 and you don't know what love is yet. You think you do, and that's what's keeping you with this girl. Drop her. The longer you spend with her dumb cheating ass, the more you'll hate yourself for it later when you discover it wasn't love.

Bucket, you're bitter as fuck. CC had some success, why don't you ask him what he did? Online dating is different and difficult because of that, but your attitude being shit never does you favours.
 
I think it depends on your geographic location, but most women that frequent dating sites in my area are overweight, have multiple children, are socially inept, or are a combination of all three.
 
Bacon, you're 17 and you don't know what love is yet. You think you do, and that's what's keeping you with this girl. Drop her. The longer you spend with her dumb cheating ass, the more you'll hate yourself for it later when you discover it wasn't love.
Welp, I'm in a 50/50 position right now. I really do know that I should just end it right here right now. But my mind is clouded by my feelings. There are some things that I'd like to know before ending it. The whole 'was it me?' thing mostly and why it ended so suddenly. Besides, my heart still tells me that I love her. I can't help it. And after all with everything going on now, this isn't the time to break up with her. It may sound weird but I want her to break up with me instead of the other way around. Won't even protest it when that happens, will probably finally find peace.

Guess she falls in the hot girl, lousy girlfriend category.

And call me crazy, but I have been thinking recently about her future without me. I can see it all fall down for her. Pretty girl with issues (divorced parents, abusive mother, stepfather is in jail), the wrong friends and drinking at an early age. Not going to end well. Perhaps I'm still holding on because I want to help her? I don't know.
 
I think it depends on your geographic location, but most women that frequent dating sites in my area are overweight, have multiple children, are socially inept, or are a combination of all three.

This is true, problem is that there is probably a similar stigma regarding what girls think about guys on dating sites too, which is another reason its unlikely to find many decent girls online. I'd have to add another point to the list you gave and that is girls who are online with another agenda. I've struck up conversations with quite a few lovely looking girls online and it soon becomes apparent they are online for a quick ego pick up rather than them having real aspirations for a relationship.

As for me being bitter, definitely. Not towards the guy having success, good for him, but in general? Bitter barely scratches the surface haha. I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling this way, posting in a dating thread.. on a video game forum.. on Valentine's day.. when I'm 28.. most certainly NOT how I imagined things would pan out, lol I know its the mother of all sins not being 100% positive all the time, but man.. You know what? I simply cannot pretend to be feeling positive on today of all days. I think its natural to feel a bit shitty, I'm only human.
 
Today is the day... of all days, I wish I wasn't single. I hate this day. Everyone so lovey dovey all around me, and all the ads about this day. I just want to puke. :P

Maybe one day right?
 
Welp, I'm in a 50/50 position right now. I really do know that I should just end it right here right now. But my mind is clouded by my feelings. There are some things that I'd like to know before ending it. The whole 'was it me?' thing mostly and why it ended so suddenly. Besides, my heart still tells me that I love her. I can't help it. And after all with everything going on now, this isn't the time to break up with her. It may sound weird but I want her to break up with me instead of the other way around. Won't even protest it when that happens, will probably finally find peace.

Naah, that isn't weird at all. If you care for her you don't want to hurt her feelings and be the one responsible for the break up. It's a tough thing to do and most of us have been there. But if you don't actually want to be in a relationship with her it is pretty much over and breaking up with her is something you'll have to do. And God knows breaking up with someone is one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. But unfortunately caring about someone isn't always enough to make something work. It is a very shitty tome to do it though. But then again...what WILL be the right time? You're young. Don't stay in this situation.

And call me crazy, but I have been thinking recently about her future without me. I can see it all fall down for her. Pretty girl with issues (divorced parents, abusive mother, stepfather is in jail), the wrong friends and drinking at an early age. Not going to end well. Perhaps I'm still holding on because I want to help her? I don't know.

And add this to your situation and it gets even worse. It's not your job to help someone keep/get their life on track. You might feel guilty about it, but you can't save someone. I tried with my ex and it fucked me up pretty badly. In this case (until you're married and stuff) you really have to look after yourself.
 
Welp, I'm in a 50/50 position right now. I really do know that I should just end it right here right now. But my mind is clouded by my feelings. There are some things that I'd like to know before ending it. The whole 'was it me?' thing mostly and why it ended so suddenly. Besides, my heart still tells me that I love her. I can't help it. And after all with everything going on now, this isn't the time to break up with her. It may sound weird but I want her to break up with me instead of the other way around. Won't even protest it when that happens, will probably finally find peace.

Guess she falls in the hot girl, lousy girlfriend category.

And call me crazy, but I have been thinking recently about her future without me. I can see it all fall down for her. Pretty girl with issues (divorced parents, abusive mother, stepfather is in jail), the wrong friends and drinking at an early age. Not going to end well. Perhaps I'm still holding on because I want to help her? I don't know.

Call it quits dude, like people are saying you are 17! She will be fine. Do yourself a favour and move on.
What is the point in waiting around for her to dump up you? What if that dosent happen for another year? two? and youll be pissed you wasted all that time dealing with her when you coudl have just said Fuck this im out right now.

There is never a good time to tell someone they are dumped.
 
That would be me.

lol, you shouldnt be needing to fish for compliments then. consider this post one though.

Hylian7 said:
The plan is basically to go in in the morning (about 11:15-ish) between my classes and go for it. She works mornings usually, but there is no guarantee she is working tomorrow. I think Target opens at 10, so if she is somehow working less than 2 hours, I will seriously be shocked. There's a pretty damn good chance she will be there.

Edit: Well this one opens at 8. Still, I doubt she will be there for less than four hours.

go getter attitude! good luck. full write up plz.
 
Well I think I have to add something to this story.

As I told you, her gran passed away. The big problem is, that this happened way over in Thailand. Her mother immigrated to the Netherlands and my GF was born here. Rest of her family is still back in Thailand. So she can only visit her family during the holidays. Her parents left this weekend to go to the funeral, will probably staying there for a week or 2/3. All this time she'll be alone.

That's why I want to see her, that's why I need to be there for her.

And yet she wants to be all alone, with her friends possible(?)

So no, this isn't the time to break up with her.
 
Well I think I have to add something to this story.

As I told you, her gran passed away. The big problem is, that this happened way over in Thailand. Her mother immigrated to the Netherlands and my GF was born here. Rest of her family is still back in Thailand. So she can only visit her family during the holidays. Her parents left this weekend to go to the funeral, will probably staying there for a week or 2/3. All this time she'll be alone.

That's why I want to see her, that's why I need to be there for her.

And yet she wants to be all alone, with her friends possible(?)

So no, this isn't the time to break up with her.


huh... she doesnt want you in one of a person's greatest times of need. i'd be offended and say fuck you and be done with it, especially with everything else you've said.

you need to have more self respect. wanting her to break up with you? common now. if you're going to stay with her, you need to do it for the right reasons, not out of fear you can't do better and self-pity. reasons like she makes you happy... which doesnt seem to be the case at all.

i may have missed it, but how far is she from you? can you drive? is going to visit her plausible? (regardless of what she wants)
 
huh... she doesnt want you in one of a person's greatest times of need. i'd be offended and say fuck you and be done with it, especially with everything else you've said.

i may have missed it, but how far is she from you? can you drive? is going to visit her plausible? (regardless of what she wants)
I can take the bus, that isn't a problem. But yep, that's why I'm so confused. I don't understand it at all.
 
Hey friends I'd just like to vent a little bit.

I'm 26 [M], last year I began using OKC to try and find a relationship, at first I didn't really have much luck, but I eventually met up with a girl and we saw each other frequently over the course of a month, but then she decided that she didn't want to see me anymore because, 'the chemistry wasn't there for her.' I was bummed, but okay, chalk it up to a learning experience and find someone else.

So a few weeks later I met another girl from OKC. We went out 3 times, and she ended up saying something similar, that she 'didn't feel a connection.'

Last month, I began to see another girl who just yesterday told me that she 'doesn't have time to date anyone right now.'

At this point, I'm feeling really down on myself and trying to figure out exactly what I'm doing wrong, I know I haven't given any details as to the specifics of each date, but based on the way I'm being rejected, I'm starting to see a pattern develop. It's like once we get past the initial stages of dating, and the possibility for something exclusive opens up, they lose interest in me. Is it my actions? Am I a lousy kisser? Am I not good-looking enough? I'm just not sure...
 
Hey friends I'd just like to vent a little bit.

I'm 26 [M], last year I began using OKC to try and find a relationship, at first I didn't really have much luck, but I eventually met up with a girl and we saw each other frequently over the course of a month, but then she decided that she didn't want to see me anymore because, 'the chemistry wasn't there for her.' I was bummed, but okay, chalk it up to a learning experience and find someone else.

So a few weeks later I met another girl from OKC. We went out 3 times, and she ended up saying something similar, that she 'didn't feel a connection.'

Last month, I began to see another girl who just yesterday told me that she 'doesn't have time to date anyone right now.'

At this point, I'm feeling really down on myself and trying to figure out exactly what I'm doing wrong, I know I haven't given any details as to the specifics of each date, but based on the way I'm being rejected, I'm starting to see a pattern develop. It's like once we get past the initial stages of dating, and the possibility for something exclusive opens up, they lose interest in me. Is it my actions? Am I a lousy kisser? Am I not good-looking enough? I'm just not sure...

how far did it go physically with each of them? if after a month all you went for was some kissing, perhaps they were looking for a more assertive man, sexually speaking?

on a different note, were you smothering them emotionally too soon? what kind of ratio of content would your messages have vs theirs? (assuming you communicated via text/chat) 50/50? 60/40? worse? maybe they saw desperation/clinger too soon

Baconsaurus said:
I can take the bus, that isn't a problem. But yep, that's why I'm so confused. I don't understand it at all.

not sure that you caught my edit, may wanna re-check my post. but yeah, if it was a healthy relationship and she abruptly didnt want to see you while in mourning, well okay, different people cope in different ways. but in this case it just seems to reinforce the lack of a meaningful relationship, imo

Having a girl over to watch Band of Brothers. Don't know if it's a date or not...

im terrible in those situations. in the past i've been completely oblivious, in hindsight. lately i'd do sometihng like text 'yeah i totally love <insert broad characteristic here that also applies to her>' and see how she responds, like "i love blondes" "hey im blonde" "i know ;P" or just talk about how in general guy/girl movie watching always devolves to making out. even then, can be hard to tell if she's game. but it helps clarify when she isnt, sometimes. yeah, amateur hour here lol, hopefully others will have better thoughts.
 
Hey friends I'd just like to vent a little bit.

I'm 26 [M], last year I began using OKC to try and find a relationship, at first I didn't really have much luck, but I eventually met up with a girl and we saw each other frequently over the course of a month, but then she decided that she didn't want to see me anymore because, 'the chemistry wasn't there for her.' I was bummed, but okay, chalk it up to a learning experience and find someone else.

So a few weeks later I met another girl from OKC. We went out 3 times, and she ended up saying something similar, that she 'didn't feel a connection.'

Last month, I began to see another girl who just yesterday told me that she 'doesn't have time to date anyone right now.'

At this point, I'm feeling really down on myself and trying to figure out exactly what I'm doing wrong, I know I haven't given any details as to the specifics of each date, but based on the way I'm being rejected, I'm starting to see a pattern develop. It's like once we get past the initial stages of dating, and the possibility for something exclusive opens up, they lose interest in me. Is it my actions? Am I a lousy kisser? Am I not good-looking enough? I'm just not sure...

Dating above all else is a number's game. You aren't going to strike gold right away, you have to keep at it, don't let it get you down. I'm sure a lot of those girls are in the same boat as you. They're playing the number's game and that means they're gonna go out with a few guys before they find someone they can make a bit of a commitment to.

Don't think that you're a bad kisser, even if you actually are fuck that - say that you are. Don't tell yourself negative things about you.
 
what kind of ratio of content would your messages have vs theirs?

The only time I would ever text/call them would be to setup the next date, and with each girl the most dates we'd ever had in a single week was 2.

And yeah, I'm not sure if I was being too aggressive or not aggressive enough. heck
 
Well I think I have to add something to this story.

As I told you, her gran passed away. The big problem is, that this happened way over in Thailand. Her mother immigrated to the Netherlands and my GF was born here. Rest of her family is still back in Thailand. So she can only visit her family during the holidays. Her parents left this weekend to go to the funeral, will probably staying there for a week or 2/3. All this time she'll be alone.

That's why I want to see her, that's why I need to be there for her.

And yet she wants to be all alone, with her friends possible(?)

So no, this isn't the time to break up with her.

Snap out of it. Not only is there no "good time" to break up (there will always be something "bad" going on that you'll feel bad about), but as others have said, you need to really start thinking of what love really is. If you "love" her because you think you can't do better, or you've had good sex before, IT IS NOT LOVE. At 17, you shouldn't be giving your undying devotion to a cheater that doesn't want to see you. THIS IS NOT LOVE.

Feeling love is not an internal feeling. An internal feeling is lust, insecurity within yourself, anxiety, etc. You can love and be loved through actions, and while you want to do it for her, what has she done for you other than cheat on you and shove you aside? THAT IS NOT LOVE.

As for your question, the dumbest thing you can think of is that you did something wrong. It's not that you are not good enough, but two people may have different needs they don't realize in the beginning. You have a lot of these to go through still, so just move onto the next learning experience.
 
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