So I met some girl at a club and got her number/facebook. It wasn't this past friday but the one before that. I texted her for the first time that monday, then again on like wednesday. I tried calling her last wed and thurs to set up a date that sunday, seeing that I thought I'd be busy on saturday. Anyway, she said she couldn't make it since she was busy with something at her old school. I asked maybe about this weekend, she says she has her sister's birthday. Now this weekend is a holiday on friday (in my country), and I feel like a birthday wouldn't take the entire thing to do. Anyways, I'm just wondering if I should stop worrying about her and try going for some other girl. She has never initiated a conversation with me, I don't know if that's because of her age or what have you but it kind of bugs me. What should I do GAF?
Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
- Thread starter soultron
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Pollux
Member
Let it go and move on.
Count Dookkake
Member
hawkshockey11
Banned
That is a good challenge. I think I am going to try that as well. Don't change anything, someday you will find someone that likes you exactly as you are.
Pollux
Member
Stay positive!
I'm sort of in the same situation so I'll ask this of GAF...
Met a girl at the bar last friday, went out with her 3 times this past week, Dates 1 & 2 were great, IMO, but the 3rd date was a disaster since we were both tired, I was coming down off being drunk, and I was focussing on stuff for school in my head.
She said she had fun in a text later that night and that she obviously wanted to see me again. That was Thursday, and I haven't texted her since and she hasn't texted me. Should I just let it go or text her this coming weekend? I can't do this week since I have no free time, literally zero.
I mean you can if the load does lighten up. But she should have texted you a few days after the last date. I'm probably going overboard but I do agree she should of texted you with a "hey" or something at least. But it wouldn't hurt to text her LATER this week.
Is this some kind of metaphor?
I'm just finding it difficult trying to talk to people who won't look at you. It's weird.
Some women don't text guys right away. At least the woman I'm trying to get a date with. She'll usually text the next day or won't text me. It happens.
Stop chasing. It doesnt work
This is good newsGF of 11 months broke up with me
Pollux
Member
How am I chasing?
Hypereides
Member
EDIT: oh shit, mistook your post for Ezalc's. yeah what Cubs said. Just keep yourself occupied.
A girl/person not looking at you directly in the eye is normal. Especially if they dont know you, its mostly a trait of being cautious/uncertain/low self-esteem issues even.
Act casual about it, it doesnt mean they dont like you but rather they dont know you well enough yet. If you truely want to gain their trust do the same, and while this will sound manipulative you can try replicating their body language.
Pollux
Member
Ah, good point. I always thought of chasing as constantly texting and trying to get her to do shit with me - never as contemplating text messaging when I finally have free time and otherwise leaving her alone - but you have a good point.
The waiting game thing sucks...it annoys me b/c we clicked well for the dates 1 and 2 and then for a variety of external factors 3 was mediocre. Ah well. Nothing I can do about it now.
Thanks
this sounds so lame.
Hypereides
Member
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
Yeah.
The Last Wizard
Member
So there's this girl in my chem class, I was thinking about asking her out. She was in my previous chem class but we never spoke and on the first day of class last week she was eyeing me; I chalk that up to the fact that she recognized me from the previous class as I had her.
So my question is should I just straight up ask her or talk to her for a class or two then ask? I was thinking about walking up to her and say "weren't you in so and so's class last semester?" then some small talk and then ask her out.
So my question is should I just straight up ask her or talk to her for a class or two then ask? I was thinking about walking up to her and say "weren't you in so and so's class last semester?" then some small talk and then ask her out.
Pollux
Member
So just to clarify, you're saying that even when I finally have free time, I should never text this girl again?
Hypereides
Member
I think what hes saying is that you should make her persue you. Not the other way around.
If she texts you, cool. If she doesnt, so be it.
Or something to that order.
If she texts you, cool. If she doesnt, so be it.
Or something to that order.
Correct. That's what I was trying to explain to him. Don't be the pursuer. Let her pursue you. You will come off desperate. Trust me if a girl likes you she will communicate to you. The same can be said about sex. If she wants to fuck she will find a way to fuck.
contemplating sending a text or reaching out stems from a life of scarcity, which chasing comes from so it's all the same thing.
"So there's this one girl" is basically what you're saying. That's life of scarcity as well. She will pick up on this! Don't ask her out. Sure, talk to her but don't do it because you have an agenda. Again noticing her from such specific place is life of scarcity as well. Give her a chance to ask you out instead.
You're not at some bar where you have to close the deal right away...take your time, get to know her, let her get to know you and become interested, THEN ask her out.
The way you want to do it would be so awkward, I don't see it ever succeeding, but maybe that's just me.
Has she ever texted YOU out of nowhere? If she has then I think it's ok to text her. I get what people are saying, but it's unrealistic. There's always a power struggle, and you have to give a little to get a little until you get her super interested and then you can back off and let her do the chasing.
You have to get her interested first, most guys skip to the playing hard to get part and then wonder why the girl just disappears. Limit it to one text, and if she doesn't answer after a few days, do whatever you want because it doesn't matter anymore.
Pollux
Member
She texted me a randomly a couple times, and then randomly after our 3rd date; but not since then. So I was planning on giving it until the end of the week when my schedule lightens up, texting her saying something like "Let's grab a beer at X", and if she doesn't respond, or just says no without any effort to schedule a different time then I'm moving on.
YoYo Switch
Banned
Girl GAF 
started talking ot this girl who i haven't talked to in a couple months.
i know she used to like me around this time last year, but i wasn't really interested until december. asked her out and it was kinda happening until i got kicked out of school, moved in with my dad and stopped talking to everyone i knew, including her.
we start talking again, but we never get back around to dating again (my fault) she keeps giving me mixed messages, i grow sick of receiving them, so i decide to give it one last shot
one of her friends texts me and tells me that she's dating someone else, and that she wants to know if we're ok since we haven't talked in a month
i told her i didn't really give a shit who she dates
and then i texted the girl saying if she wanted to discuss a problem that didn't exist, she could call or text me herself if she wanted.
anyway, it been 3 months and i choose not to speak with her. i see her around here and there and we have some small talk, but she makes sure to tell me she misses me.
i've been talking to and seeing other girls in all this time but, i can't help but still want her. she's almost exactly what i want in a girl.
a month or so ago she texted me how i was doing. told her i was busy atm and i'd speak to her later; i never do. a week and a half ago she adds me on Skype. I texted her last week and had a really good conversation about stupid dumb crap and we were like our own selves again for the first time in a long while.
i get really nervous before texting her, i get really nervous in between texts, wondering if she'll text back and i know its really bad. but i actually really like her, but i have no idea if i should be wasting my time going after her again. no idea if she's still seeing that other guy (no Facebook status about it) and no idea if her trying to contact me is a sign of interest, or if she's just being really nice.
thanks.
started talking ot this girl who i haven't talked to in a couple months.
i know she used to like me around this time last year, but i wasn't really interested until december. asked her out and it was kinda happening until i got kicked out of school, moved in with my dad and stopped talking to everyone i knew, including her.
we start talking again, but we never get back around to dating again (my fault) she keeps giving me mixed messages, i grow sick of receiving them, so i decide to give it one last shot
one of her friends texts me and tells me that she's dating someone else, and that she wants to know if we're ok since we haven't talked in a month
i told her i didn't really give a shit who she dates
and then i texted the girl saying if she wanted to discuss a problem that didn't exist, she could call or text me herself if she wanted.
anyway, it been 3 months and i choose not to speak with her. i see her around here and there and we have some small talk, but she makes sure to tell me she misses me.
i've been talking to and seeing other girls in all this time but, i can't help but still want her. she's almost exactly what i want in a girl.
a month or so ago she texted me how i was doing. told her i was busy atm and i'd speak to her later; i never do. a week and a half ago she adds me on Skype. I texted her last week and had a really good conversation about stupid dumb crap and we were like our own selves again for the first time in a long while.
i get really nervous before texting her, i get really nervous in between texts, wondering if she'll text back and i know its really bad. but i actually really like her, but i have no idea if i should be wasting my time going after her again. no idea if she's still seeing that other guy (no Facebook status about it) and no idea if her trying to contact me is a sign of interest, or if she's just being really nice.
thanks.
The Last Wizard
Member
I think I'll do this, It's just that every time I've come into the thread it's always make it known that your interested in the person lest you get thrown into the friendzone.
I don't believe she'd ask me out, she seems like a shy person.
Tell yourself the opposite and it's more likely to happen. And if it doesn't, why do you care? She isn't your last hope of redemption or anything. Like Rachel said in TDK, "Don't make me your only hope for a normal life".
So this girl. Past year one of my best friends introduced me to her when we were out having some drinks, but for one thing or the other I had to leave early. The next day my friend told me that the girl said that I was "attractive" and that she liked me, but nothing really happened after that mostly because I was with another girl at that time.
Now, a few weeks back I went out with my friend and some people he knows (but I didn't), and this girl came too. She also didn't know any of my friend's friends, so it was a bit akward for both of us. Anyway, we had some fun and by the end of the night I got to talk to her, both of us alone. Not for a long time, maybe 40-50 minutes, but I had fun and found her to be an interesting person. Anyway, next day I added her to Facebook and we started to talk.
We don't talk everyday, but yes every 2 or 3. We've got similar interests and taste in stuff like music, tv series, movies, etc etc; one day we stayed until late at night talking, and she said it was 'my fault', and I thought that was a good sign. She even asked me to let her read some of the stuff I write, something that no other girl has ever done. Of course I send her some of that stuff, and she told me that she liked it.
Anyway, the other day I told her I she would like to go for a drink, a coffee or whatever because, you know, if you wanna truly meet somebody you can't do it on the internet, and she answered that she'd love to, and taht this week or the next one she was going to tell me something because she's busy at work. So here I am right now, waiting. What do you guys think?
Now, a few weeks back I went out with my friend and some people he knows (but I didn't), and this girl came too. She also didn't know any of my friend's friends, so it was a bit akward for both of us. Anyway, we had some fun and by the end of the night I got to talk to her, both of us alone. Not for a long time, maybe 40-50 minutes, but I had fun and found her to be an interesting person. Anyway, next day I added her to Facebook and we started to talk.
We don't talk everyday, but yes every 2 or 3. We've got similar interests and taste in stuff like music, tv series, movies, etc etc; one day we stayed until late at night talking, and she said it was 'my fault', and I thought that was a good sign. She even asked me to let her read some of the stuff I write, something that no other girl has ever done. Of course I send her some of that stuff, and she told me that she liked it.
Anyway, the other day I told her I she would like to go for a drink, a coffee or whatever because, you know, if you wanna truly meet somebody you can't do it on the internet, and she answered that she'd love to, and taht this week or the next one she was going to tell me something because she's busy at work. So here I am right now, waiting. What do you guys think?
white dynamite
Member
Taking a girl on a first date to the beach/pier. Any tips or advice? I'm pretty nervous, gaf.
hawkshockey11
Banned
Well I mean if your post is correct and she last texted you Thursday saying she had a great time and wanted to see you again, I don't see why you wouldn't talk to her until the end of THIS week...that's a quick way to get a woman disinterested. You have to keep that shit hot. If she's attractive she gets hit on and approached all the time, surely IGNORING her for over a week after she has shown interest in you isn't supposed to be a way to keep her into you?
Just shoot her a quick text right now, saying "hey I'm busy blah blah, just wanted to say hi though, you're still down for this weekend?"
That mostly applies to places where a quick approach is needed, you have all the time in the world since you have class with her, but just do things that a man who's interested would do while still getting to know her, not stuff some dweeb with no balls would do. No need to rush in and show your hand though, let it marinate, and you'll know if she's interested eventually.
In the bag
I hope you're right! Anyway, I'm going with no expectations, just having some fun talking face to face and that.
The Last Wizard
Member
Cool, what's an example of something an interested person would do?
True, she most certainly isn't.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
MVP has it right: "There's always a power struggle, and you have to give a little to get a little until you get her super interested and then you can back off and let her do the chasing." You have the timeline and power struggle a little bit wrong with this text game you're playing with her.
Hum de dum, first date tomorrow over coffee with a girl from OkCupid. It's also the first date I've gotten off of that silly website, haha. We've been texting since Thursday. I wouldn't usually do that, but it's been a lot of playful banter and she responds even when I don't explicitly leave an opening, so that's nice. Cautiously excited!
DTLIONS1013
Member
How so?
GF of 11 months broke up with me
What reasons did she give? Anything weird leading up to it?
Pollux
Member
Well she responded with the I'm really busy this week crap. I couldn't resist responding with haha ok if you ever decide you want to go out again you know how to reach me. Probably not a good move since she really could be busy this week and now I sound like a prick but at this point I just don't give a shit. I'm to busy to put any more effort into this crap. GG no Re.
crap. I couldn't resist responding with haha ok if you ever decide you want to go out again you know how to reach me. Probably not a good move since she really could be busy this week and now I sound like a prick but at this point I just don't give a shit. I'm to busy to put any more effort into this crap. GG no Re.
Pollux
Member
Well, to be fair I never wanted to date her. She was one of the dumbest people I've ever met. She was just pretty hot. So not a HUGE loss. Only mildly disappointing but not something I'm going to lose any sleep over.
So yea, live and learn haha
OK... after a terrible weekend of staying at home, drinking alone and playing online while semi-drunk, now I log into Facebook to see that a girl I was with last year, and to whom I stopped talking a couple of months ago because she hurt me has sent me a PM asking how I am.
Well, I'm gonna fall to the bottom of the barrel and ask her what she wants, though I don't know how I should feel after all this time. The sad and pathetic part is she's the only girl that has talked to me in 6 months, apart from a friend I saw 2 weeks ago.
Well, I'm gonna fall to the bottom of the barrel and ask her what she wants, though I don't know how I should feel after all this time. The sad and pathetic part is she's the only girl that has talked to me in 6 months, apart from a friend I saw 2 weeks ago.
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