Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy

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UFRA said:
The 9 stages of relationships:
http://www.lovepanky.com/love-couch/romantic-love/relationship-stages

Also a lot of really good tips and articles on that website.

I have just entered stage 3 with my girlfriend. Ugh. lol Things have been going so amazing, I clearly can identify stage 1 and 2. It's clear we're in 3 right now. Things aren't about to fail or anything, but right now the initial obsessed-over-each-other phase has ended and we are transitioning into the real relationship phase. Just had some silly disputes the last couple nights and our conversations have been more serious and less fun/flirty recently. We still talk a ton every day and it's clear we're not going anywhere.

Interesting how right those stages are explained on that site.
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Update:

We have just cleared stage 3 and have moved on to stage 4 now. Woohoo! We made it through the garbage stage where many relationships end (many of mine previously ended at stage 3).

We just sat and had a nice talk to figure out what's been going on lately, which turned a bit emotional but basically consisted of us saying how much we both want each other in our lives and how we are both very happy with each other. Feels good man.

Now I can relax...
 
Just a little update on some shit that happened a little while ago. Girl I'm interested in came back from her vacation, texted her but she'd already agreed to hang out with a friend of hers and his gf but I was welcome to join. We had a good time and later we went back to my place were she had dinner with me and my parents and we played a little Rock Band (She has one hell of a voice). Went out for a beer that night back to the place were that dude worked and hung out with his GF, some of his family and the girl I was interested in. Anyway, she had to work early next morning and I was feeling a little under the weather still so we both bailed around 1 AM which we'd agreed to at the beginning of the night.

Right before she went home I finally confronted her about how we hadn't been intimate in a while and she clearly didn't know how to handle me asking her about that upfront. We talked about it for a couple of minutes but I felt like I might have given her a little too much power and not being confident in myself enough. Thinking back on it I wish I'd said something about how I was a cool dude and we seemed to click really well and she'd just have to figure that out (saying it like that sounds spiteful but I'd probably phrase it a little differently). She said she didn't know and didn't want to do anything intimate if she didn't mean it but I'm pretty sure this whole thing is just over now. Either she likes me or she doesn't but she said she had to "think" about it and I let her be on her merry way. She honestly seemed conflicted but if she isn't sure now I'm not sure she'll ever be.

Should I play the waiting game now or be assertive? I know you guys are probably gonna suggest me making her "chase" me but to be honest I don't believe in that at all and I think we're past that point anyway. I'll probably wait atleast a week because we both have our first week of college and she's going to be meeting tons of people just like me hopefully and she's already going to some festival this weekend. We're gonna study in the same city though so there'd be potential to hang out after college. I have to admit I really hoped we could've concluded this before she's going to meet all those new college dudes but whatever. Hopefully there's some fun girls out there I get to meet tomorrow.
 
RedNalgene said:
Did she ever explain to you why she felt like she needed to lie to you about meeting a "friend"? That seems like a huge red flag to me.
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She said that she lied caused she thought I would freak out that she has a male as one of her best friends. That I would get jealous and shit
 
Do women generally hats and like you at the same time? I have come across women who go cold one moment then act nice other moments. It's hard for me to hauteur interest. It's frustrating not knowing whether a woman is really interested. :(

My therapist said that I'm like elementary school when it comes to relationships. I personally feel that other men know what to do to get the girl while I'm stuck on the sidelines. I try very to stay positive but my attempts at dating have been failure. How do I keep positive?
 
GAF tell me whats up...my friend texted me "I wanna see you tonight." She comes over and starts texting on her phone for like 15 mins straight, I asked her what's up? Is everything alright? She tells me yeah (bluffing) and then just a moment ago she decides to leave on the basis that I am preoccupied with the TV, not like I cared what was on anyways. So yeah did I do something wrong? I felt like there was something she wasn't telling me.
 
People who hang out with you only to text or browse fb are jackasses of the highest order so no you didn't do anything wrong but next time take her phone and see what happens.
 
So this is my first time posting in this thread. So I work with this girl about 3 years now. In the last 1 and half we have began talking and we were flirting like crazy. She'd always be touching me and telling me how good I looked(I'm not good looking btw) . So about a month ago I decided to quit my job in about 3-4 months. I also decided that I'd ask her out once I quit (my work hates employee's dating each other and has a strict no dating policy) but last week she delivered a fucking bombshell. She said she was a lesbian and had been dating another girl for about a month now. No one at work saw this coming but she told me first :/ She also said that if she didn't feel this way about this particular girl in like a year, she'd like to maybe go with me or something....

I know I'm a idiot but I care for this girl, so I don't want to hurt her by saying/doing something stupid. I feel like I should I give her space and leave her alone but man I feel.....really hurt. Maybe I just misinterpreted her but I honestly don't know what to do guys
 
Revolution number one said:
So this is my first time posting in this thread. So I work with this girl about 3 years now. In the last 1 and half we have began talking and we were flirting like crazy. She'd always be touching me and telling me how good I looked(I'm not good looking btw) . So about a month ago I decided to quit my job in about 3-4 months. I also decided that I'd ask her out once I quit (my work hates employee's dating each other and has a strict no dating policy) but last week she delivered a fucking bombshell. She said she was a lesbian and had been dating another girl for about a month now. No one at work saw this coming but she told me first :/ She also said that if she didn't feel this way about this particular girl in like a year, she'd like to maybe go with me or something....

I know I'm a idiot but I care for this girl, so I don't want to hurt her by saying/doing something stupid. I feel like I should I give her space and leave her alone but man I feel.....really hurt. Maybe I just misinterpreted her but I honestly don't know what to do guys
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Move on. If she's unsure about herself and what she wants, then don't try to force it by trying to get yourself involved. The fact that she's saying she'll try dating you if this girl doesn't work out shows she doesn't know what she wants.

I'd say keep in contact with her as a friend, and let her bring up the idea of dating you if/when the time comes. Do not try to initiate this on your end.
 
Revolution number one said:
So this is my first time posting in this thread. So I work with this girl about 3 years now. In the last 1 and half we have began talking and we were flirting like crazy. She'd always be touching me and telling me how good I looked(I'm not good looking btw) . So about a month ago I decided to quit my job in about 3-4 months. I also decided that I'd ask her out once I quit (my work hates employee's dating each other and has a strict no dating policy) but last week she delivered a fucking bombshell. She said she was a lesbian and had been dating another girl for about a month now. No one at work saw this coming but she told me first :/ She also said that if she didn't feel this way about this particular girl in like a year, she'd like to maybe go with me or something....

I know I'm a idiot but I care for this girl, so I don't want to hurt her by saying/doing something stupid. I feel like I should I give her space and leave her alone but man I feel.....really hurt. Maybe I just misinterpreted her but I honestly don't know what to do guys
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You know my pain. I'm horrendously attracted to lesbians (the more feminine persuasion usually). Every time I have a strong desire for a particular woman I later find out she's a lesbian.
 
Thanks guys, She's 17 and you guys are right she's confused about what she wants atm. I will go along with my plan of getting back in shape even though she was the reason why I wanted too. It's just pain that really bothers me....I thought I found someone cool but I guess that's life
 
zatara said:
She said that she lied caused she thought I would freak out that she has a male as one of her best friends. That I would get jealous and shit
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To me that's break up material. You won't be able to spend time on your birthday so you are spending it the night before. She lies about being tired so she can spend time with another guy. Do you really want to keep this girl around?
 
Rocket Scientist said:
If this is the only case of her showing little regard and respect then there's no reason to ask that and best to move on from it, which he seems to be doing.
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I'm doing this, giving her another chance. It just sucks cause what we had was awesome. Now when I'm not with her I'm asking myself "is she really where she says she is?"
 
What exactly is a nice guy and what makes him so unattractive?

Also would you say that nice guys tend to get women in the 30s/40s. I've had a co-worker tell me I'm going to be in my 40s when I get married.
 
pgtl_10 said:
What exactly is a nice guy and what makes him so unattractive?

Also would you say that nice guys tend to get women in the 30s/40s. I've had a co-worker tell me I'm going to be in my 40s when I get married.
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Being a "nice" guy actually isn't really about being nice. Its about being passive and not assertive enough to make your intentions clear. The goal is to be nice and confident simultaneously.
 
zatara said:
I'm doing this, giving her another chance. It just sucks cause what we had was awesome. Now when I'm not with her I'm asking myself "is she really where she says she is?"
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You'll also need to continuously ask yourself "is she lying to me because she thinks I'm gonna freak out about XYZ". This is going to be a hard one to resolve. Without trust you have nothing.

If you have a history of being jealous about her hanging out with other guys (I don't know if that's the case, but would partially explain why she did this) then you two need to talk about how to get past that. A girl isn't going to completely stop talking to all her guy friends because she's with you, so you need to figure out how to make it so she can still have guy friends and you won't get jealous (and as a corollary, trust her to have guy friends). This future doesn't involve secretly meeting them for drinks. If you don't have a history of jealousy....then this is a really bad sign.

I know you want to try to make it work and that's cool, only you know your whole history with this girl, but tread carefully....
 
So shitty day for me today, I broke up with my girlfriend. To be honest, it was for the best, there was a lot of times in this relationship where I thought that she was a bit unstable and all that but it still sucks and i'm still hurting. The real kicker is that we work together, and a lot of the time directly work together just us two alone. I know that I can't work with her so I will begin looking for a new job right away (which I've been wanting to do for a long time anyway, this just gives me more of an excuse).

There is one other major obstacle however, we have a holiday that has been booked and paid for from both of us on October 4th. If I cancel this holiday I will lose all the money however I don't think I can handle going on holiday with her still as I just want to attempt to try and forget about her. She wants us to go still but just as friends so that we both don't lose the money or holiday time that we booked off. Any advice here would be great.
 
RedNalgene said:
You'll also need to continuously ask yourself "is she lying to me because she thinks I'm gonna freak out about XYZ". This is going to be a hard one to resolve. Without trust you have nothing.

If you have a history of being jealous about her hanging out with other guys (I don't know if that's the case, but would partially explain why she did this) then you two need to talk about how to get past that. A girl isn't going to completely stop talking to all her guy friends because she's with you, so you need to figure out how to make it so she can still have guy friends and you won't get jealous (and as a corollary, trust her to have guy friends). This future doesn't involve secretly meeting them for drinks. If you don't have a history of jealousy....then this is a really bad sign.

I know you want to try to make it work and that's cool, only you know your whole history with this girl, but tread carefully....
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No jealousy at all....I knew she had guy friends before we got together
 
demonkaze said:
So shitty day for me today, I broke up with my girlfriend. To be honest, it was for the best, there was a lot of times in this relationship where I thought that she was a bit unstable and all that but it still sucks and i'm still hurting. The real kicker is that we work together, and a lot of the time directly work together just us two alone. I know that I can't work with her so I will begin looking for a new job right away (which I've been wanting to do for a long time anyway, this just gives me more of an excuse).

There is one other major obstacle however, we have a holiday that has been booked and paid for from both of us on October 4th. If I cancel this holiday I will lose all the money however I don't think I can handle going on holiday with her still as I just want to attempt to try and forget about her. She wants us to go still but just as friends so that we both don't lose the money or holiday time that we booked off. Any advice here would be great.
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Is it too late to make different accommodations for your vacation? Different rooms, different days? If she wants to go with you as friends then there's the chance that she wants to get you back. It sounds like you did the breaking up here, so her wanting you back is a possibility.
 
Curious what everyone's thoughts are regarding getting your stuff back post-breakup? My ex has tons of items of mine and gifts I gave her (majority of which she doesn't even use), and I could make use of the money returning most of it.

I feel bad for asking for it back, but honestly she's been such a shitty person since we separated - the money would seemingly go a long way to making me feel better. Being able to put it towards myself.
 
bjb said:
Curious what everyone's thoughts are regarding getting your stuff back post-breakup? My ex has tons of items of mine and gifts I gave her (majority of which she doesn't even use), and I could make use of the money returning most of it.

I feel bad for asking for it back, but honestly she's been such a shitty person since we separated - the money would seemingly go a long way to making me feel better. Being able to put it towards myself.
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Your items...yeah...gifts.....no
 
Pollux said:
So just to clarify, you're saying that even when I finally have free time, I should never text this girl again?
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late response....but yeah don't lol. Like I said, you see that it doesn't work, or it's low-percentage anyway. Just let women go after you

100% of the time. No exceptions.
 
stn said:
Being a "nice" guy actually isn't really about being nice. Its about being passive and not assertive enough to make your intentions clear. The goal is to be nice and confident simultaneously.
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I've grappled with this for quite some time. I've asked women out only to find them either go cold or out right hostile later. What is it that causes women to have a shift in attitude when someone ask them out?
 
Update time. I've been dating she who shall not be named for just over a month now. The time we spend together has gotten longer, which is good. For example, this last weekend, she came over Saturday noon and didn't leave until this morning. Never once did we get bored or run out of things to do. She met my best friend and part of my family last weekend. I sent her a text this morning and she replied saying she missed me. I miss her too.

We're very much into each other. A week ago I told her I loved her. She said she'd keep it in mind but didn't repeat it back. I didn't bring it up again.

The issue dissappeared until Sunday night when we were in bed. She moaned that she loved me twice in a row. I replied that I loved her too. We've told each other that several times since then.

She keeps some of her stuff at my place. One of the drawers in my dresser is basically hers now.

I've never been at this stage in a relationship before.
 
RedNalgene said:
Normally I'd recommend calling the girl whenever you feel like you want to talk to her and not try to play a game, but given the fact that you want to take it a little slow and have said that you usually move too quick, I'd say give her a call on Tuesday to make plans. Especially since you're not going to ask her out on a date right away. Calling this weekend might seem come off a little too strong.
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I contacted her about an hour and a half ago or so, but no reply. At this point, I'm not going to contact her until Thursday which is when I'll see her in class. It kind of sucks, but then again, people are busy and have things to do (such as me) so it's understandable. Something tells me that she was probably looking for me set up a date over the weekend. I'll have to wait and see.

EDIT: After checking my phone, I realized that my message didn't go through due to poor signal from the place where I was at since there's a red rectangle with an exclamation point. Oh well; disregard for the most part. I still haven't contacted her until I see her tomorrow. Feel freakin' sick so if I were to ask her out this weekend, I hope I feel better by Sunday.
 
So guys one question that may be obvious for everyone but still

Its more important the look of your partner or how comfortable you are with her way of being

I mean Personality > Beauty ???

This is somehow troubling me, because im not saying that im super handsome or that. But i mean she doesnt atract me for how she looks but how she is.

Am i Crazy???
 
hot + a decent personality >>> average + a great personality.

if im not attracted to a girl, it doesnt matter how great her personality is.
that's what friends are for.
 
Bryan1321 said:
So guys one question that may be obvious for everyone but still

Its more important the look of your partner or how comfortable you are with her way of being

I mean Personality > Beauty ???

This is somehow troubling me, because im not saying that im super handsome or that. But i mean she doesnt atract me for how she looks but how she is.

Am i Crazy???
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DominoKid said:
hot + a decent personality >>> average + a great personality.

if im not attracted to a girl, it doesnt matter how great her personality is.
that's what friends are for.
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I don't think it's so black and white.

You have to find someone who balances both aspects for your own tastes. I think my girlfriend is beautiful and I'm very attracted to her. At the same time, it's her personality that really gets me excited about her. I'm more of an introvert and she's a complete extrovert. She is outgoing, not afraid to tell it like it is, and these things bring me out of my shell. It's that balance of a beautiful person and one with a great personality that works for me. She is beautiful to me, and I love her personality. To say you're with someone who's "average but with a great personality" doesn't make sense, because why would you be with someone you're not attracted to? Same with the reverse...why would you stay with a hot girl that's a bore fest. That will get old real fast.

Edit; and I'm talking about long term dating. If you're looking for casual flings, sure get the hotties with no personality. But for the long-term you need both.

Bryan, are you saying the person you are attracted to has no physical features you like at all? Nothing? And it's just ther personality? Maybe subconsciously there is something you're physically attracted to about her.
 
UFRA said:
I don't think it's so black and white.

You have to find someone who balances both aspects for your own tastes. I think my girlfriend is beautiful and I'm very attracted to her. At the same time, it's her personality that really gets me excited about her. I'm more of an introvert and she's a complete extrovert. She is outgoing, not afraid to tell it like it is, and these things bring me out of my shell. It's that balance of a beautiful person and one with a great personality that works for me. She is beautiful to me, and I love her personality. To say you're with someone who's "average but with a great personality" doesn't make sense, because why would you be with someone you're not attracted to? Same with the reverse...why would you stay with a hot girl that's a bore fest. That will get old real fast.

Edit; and I'm talking about long term dating. If you're looking for casual flings, sure get the hotties with no personality. But for the long-term you need both.

Bryan, are you saying the person you are attracted to has no physical features you like at all? Nothing? And it's just ther personality? Maybe subconsciously there is something you're physically attracted to about her.
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Hopefully I can find someone like your girlfriend. I don't talk much so having someone who does kind of balances things out.
 
UFRA said:
Bryan, are you saying the person you are attracted to has no physical features you like at all? Nothing? And it's just ther personality? Maybe subconsciously there is something you're physically attracted to about her.
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Well there are some of course.

Im just saying that i dont think she is super atractive. Its OK, but also thinking like this makes me feel like a douche, cus you know im not a supermodel either

But shes nice, works with kids (nutriologist)
 
Bryan1321 said:
So guys one question that may be obvious for everyone but still

Its more important the look of your partner or how comfortable you are with her way of being

I mean Personality > Beauty ???

This is somehow troubling me, because im not saying that im super handsome or that. But i mean she doesnt atract me for how she looks but how she is.

Am i Crazy???
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I fall for a girl almost exclusively for her personality, though I think there's some sort of minimum physical attraction level in place as well. But then once I've fallen for a girl's personality, suddenly she's the most beautiful creature on the planet to me, physically and otherwise.

Yeah I think I'm weird as fuck too.
 
GAF please help me, or just let me vent. Whatever. Words cannot express how fucking pissed I am. I have posted this here but my ex broken up with me about a month ago. I'm doing great now. I moved back to my hometown, I'm living with my brother, I'm flirting with girls on the weekend. Everything is great. Well I had drinks with a good friend of mine and watched the DNC with her tonight. I had a shitty email exchange with my ex today, we have a lease together for another month and bills are in my name so I have to continue contact until that shit is done. After drinking with my friend for a bit she tells me that my ex has texted her a couple of times with bullshit like "How are you? I'm having more good days than bad now. Blah blah", "I know (my name) is nervous about moving back to (my) hometown, I'm so sorry about this. Blah blah" and "I hope we can still be friends blah blah". My friend I was drinking with is one of my really good friends and the girlfriend of one of my best friends. She tells me that my ex has also texted similar bullshit to him.

I know that she texted more or less the same to another one of my best friends because he told me that also. I absolutely cannot fucking believe that she has the gall to text MY friends and say this shit. The only reason she became friends with these people is because we started dating four years ago and I have known and been friends with them since my freshman year of college (6 years or so ago). I know that their loyalty lies with me and in the end they care about me much more than they give a shit about her. I have five best friends. My brother, my sister, one guy, the boyfriend of the girlfriend I was drinking with tonight and the girlfriend I was drinking with tonight. They are the shit and I trust them all more than anything. My ex became best friends with my sister and good friends with my brother so our breakup was like a mini divorce. She does not have the balls to text my brother or sister because she knows they will tear her a new asshole after how she treated me and what she did to my family. I cannot fucking believe that she has the gall to text MY friends and say this shit but she is too big of a nancy to text my brother and sister to apologize for what she did to my family.

Basically I'm fucking furious that she is A) texting my friends B) acting like they can be friends with her after they know how she treated me C) is too fucking scared to text my family and apologize. I don't know what the fuck to do GAF. I'm not texting her because she doesn't deserve to have contact with me. I really want to send a pissed off email to her saying to stay the fuck away from my friends but I know that I should be the bigger person and not be a petty fucking asshole. My friends all have my back in the end so I'm not worried about that. The issue is that she is putting my friends in a fucking shitty situation by texting them and saying this shit. I just don't know how to approach this because this is not okay with me. She broke up with me like a fourth grader would and is acting like she has the maturity of a third grader. I want to be the mature one but it is really fucking hard right now. Part of me wants to lower to her level and go and find the hottest girl I can this weekend and just plaster pictures of the two of us on my Facebook but I know this is just me being pissed off and slightly inebriated. Advice? :(
 
Pastry said:
GAF please help me, or just let me vent. Whatever. Words cannot express how fucking pissed I am. I have posted this here but my ex broken up with me about a month ago. I'm doing great now. I moved back to my hometown, I'm living with my brother, I'm flirting with girls on the weekend. Everything is great. Well I had drinks with a good friend of mine and watched the DNC with her tonight. I had a shitty email exchange with my ex today, we have a lease together for another month and bills are in my name so I have to continue contact until that shit is done. After drinking with my friend for a bit she tells me that my ex has texted her a couple of times with bullshit like "How are you? I'm having more good days than bad now. Blah blah", "I know (my name) is nervous about moving back to (my) hometown, I'm so sorry about this. Blah blah" and "I hope we can still be friends blah blah". My friend I was drinking with is one of my really good friends and the girlfriend of one of my best friends. She tells me that my ex has also texted similar bullshit to him.

I know that she texted more or less the same to another one of my best friends because he told me that also. I absolutely cannot fucking believe that she has the gall to text MY friends and say this shit. The only reason she became friends with these people is because we started dating four years ago and I have known and been friends with them since my freshman year of college (6 years or so ago). I know that their loyalty lies with me and in the end they care about me much more than they give a shit about her. I have five best friends. My brother, my sister, one guy, the boyfriend of the girlfriend I was drinking with tonight and the girlfriend I was drinking with tonight. They are the shit and I trust them all more than anything. My ex became best friends with my sister and good friends with my brother so our breakup was like a mini divorce. She does not have the balls to text my brother or sister because she knows they will tear her a new asshole after how she treated me and what she did to my family. I cannot fucking believe that she has the gall to text MY friends and say this shit but she is too big of a nancy to text my brother and sister to apologize for what she did to my family.

Basically I'm fucking furious that she is A) texting my friends B) acting like they can be friends with her after they know how she treated me C) is too fucking scared to text my family and apologize. I don't know what the fuck to do GAF. I'm not texting her because she doesn't deserve to have contact with me. I really want to send a pissed off email to her saying to stay the fuck away from my friends but I know that I should be the bigger person and not be a petty fucking asshole. My friends all have my back in the end so I'm not worried about that. The issue is that she is putting my friends in a fucking shitty situation by texting them and saying this shit. I just don't know how to approach this because this is not okay with me. She broke up with me like a fourth grader would and is acting like she has the maturity of a third grader. I want to be the mature one but it is really fucking hard right now. Part of me wants to lower to her level and go and find the hottest girl I can this weekend and just plaster pictures of the two of us on my Facebook but I know this is just me being pissed off and slightly inebriated. Advice? :(
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She's a human being, you cannot control her. She will be friends with whomever she wants. Just keep an eye out though, its not unheard of to have friends then bang your newly single ex. Just sayin.
 
Log4Girlz said:
She's a human being, you cannot control her. She will be friends with whomever she wants. Just keep an eye out though, its not unheard of to have friends then bang your newly single ex. Just sayin.
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That's not even an issue or something that would ever happen. These people are truly my best friends and the salt of the earth. They have nothing but my best interest and health in mind, I have been through a lot with them. She is just texting crazy shit to them about being sorry about breaking up with me and hoping they can still be friends. She thinks that WE can still be friends haha.
 
Desperado said:
Hum de dum, first date tomorrow over coffee with a girl from OkCupid. It's also the first date I've gotten off of that silly website, haha. We've been texting since Thursday. I wouldn't usually do that, but it's been a lot of playful banter and she responds even when I don't explicitly leave an opening, so that's nice. Cautiously excited!
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Great success!

I get a text about 10 minutes before we are supposed to meet, saying that she thinks her car was stolen and that we'd have to reschedule. I was sad, but I've been bailed on before, so I figured if it was just an excuse to get out of the date, then so be it. However, about 30 minutes later, it turned out she had actually parked it in a totally different place than she usually does, and she asked me if I was still willing to meet.

We meet at Starbucks and stay for about an hour, at which point they close. We stand around outside, because we're not ready for the date to end, and finally decide to go to a restaurant nearby. We have some food and still aren't ready to go home, so we walk around, sit down and talk for another 2-3 hours. She's just as fun to talk to in person as in text, and we are really each other. We do some kissing at her car and agree to end the date, as long as we see each other tomorrow night.

:)

I had school work to do tonight, but that went out the window. Oh well!
 
Desperado said:
Great success!

I get a text about 10 minutes before we are supposed to meet, saying that she thinks her car was stolen and that we'd have to reschedule. I was sad, but I've been bailed on before, so I figured if it was just an excuse to get out of the date, then so be it. However, about 30 minutes later, it turned out she had actually parked it in a totally different place than she usually does, and she asked me if I was still willing to meet.

!
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Sounds like a winner LOL.
 
Geezus, Pastry, chill out a bit. She can text whomever she wants.. if your friends feel the same way you do, they can let her know they don't feel comfortable corresponding with her anymore and that's that. You don't own your friends though, obviously she had friendships with them as well. No reason to blow a gasket.

Also, I love how today's generation immediately run to the "I'ma blow my social networking site up so hard with pics and comments and likes! That'll show'em!" lol. Dunno how we survived without that stuff when I was a kid.. walking 10 miles in the snow...
 
Pastry said:
GAF please help me, or just let me vent. Whatever. Words cannot express how fucking pissed I am. I have posted this here but my ex broken up with me about a month ago. I'm doing great now. I moved back to my hometown, I'm living with my brother, I'm flirting with girls on the weekend. Everything is great. Well I had drinks with a good friend of mine and watched the DNC with her tonight. I had a shitty email exchange with my ex today, we have a lease together for another month and bills are in my name so I have to continue contact until that shit is done. After drinking with my friend for a bit she tells me that my ex has texted her a couple of times with bullshit like "How are you? I'm having more good days than bad now. Blah blah", "I know (my name) is nervous about moving back to (my) hometown, I'm so sorry about this. Blah blah" and "I hope we can still be friends blah blah". My friend I was drinking with is one of my really good friends and the girlfriend of one of my best friends. She tells me that my ex has also texted similar bullshit to him.

I know that she texted more or less the same to another one of my best friends because he told me that also. I absolutely cannot fucking believe that she has the gall to text MY friends and say this shit. The only reason she became friends with these people is because we started dating four years ago and I have known and been friends with them since my freshman year of college (6 years or so ago). I know that their loyalty lies with me and in the end they care about me much more than they give a shit about her. I have five best friends. My brother, my sister, one guy, the boyfriend of the girlfriend I was drinking with tonight and the girlfriend I was drinking with tonight. They are the shit and I trust them all more than anything. My ex became best friends with my sister and good friends with my brother so our breakup was like a mini divorce. She does not have the balls to text my brother or sister because she knows they will tear her a new asshole after how she treated me and what she did to my family. I cannot fucking believe that she has the gall to text MY friends and say this shit but she is too big of a nancy to text my brother and sister to apologize for what she did to my family.

Basically I'm fucking furious that she is A) texting my friends B) acting like they can be friends with her after they know how she treated me C) is too fucking scared to text my family and apologize. I don't know what the fuck to do GAF. I'm not texting her because she doesn't deserve to have contact with me. I really want to send a pissed off email to her saying to stay the fuck away from my friends but I know that I should be the bigger person and not be a petty fucking asshole. My friends all have my back in the end so I'm not worried about that. The issue is that she is putting my friends in a fucking shitty situation by texting them and saying this shit. I just don't know how to approach this because this is not okay with me. She broke up with me like a fourth grader would and is acting like she has the maturity of a third grader. I want to be the mature one but it is really fucking hard right now. Part of me wants to lower to her level and go and find the hottest girl I can this weekend and just plaster pictures of the two of us on my Facebook but I know this is just me being pissed off and slightly inebriated. Advice? :(
Click to expand...
Dont do any of that stupid shit. Just dont.

Do hook up with a hot girl.

This is the best course of action, guaranteed.
 
Guys I need to learn how to dance like a pro and I have 3 weeks. I was thinking learn some salsa moves and moves for in a club. I would love to learn a slow dance too... I was joking about the pro part, but would really love to be able to get some moves down and loosen up. Where and how do I start? Searched GAF, but there doesn't seem to be a dancing |OT|, there should!
 
Rocket Scientist said:
Guys I need to learn how to dance like a pro and I have 3 weeks. I was thinking learn some salsa moves and moves for in a club. I would love to learn a slow dance too... I was joking about the pro part, but would really love to be able to get some moves down and loosen up. Where and how do I start? Searched GAF, but there doesn't seem to be a dancing |OT|, there should!
Click to expand...

Dance Central! But really, do any of your friends know how to dance, not like a pro, but good? It'll be cheaper than taking classes and you will do it with someone you feel confident, and that may help you to "loose up".
 
Rocket Scientist said:
Guys I need to learn how to dance like a pro and I have 3 weeks. I was thinking learn some salsa moves and moves for in a club. I would love to learn a slow dance too... I was joking about the pro part, but would really love to be able to get some moves down and loosen up. Where and how do I start? Searched GAF, but there doesn't seem to be a dancing |OT|, there should!
Click to expand...

How's your rhythm? Obviously the most important thing while dancing.

If your rhythm is good just go and have fun. Feel the groove, if there's a 4 on the floor beat don't just move on the kicks and unless your extremely spastic you should be fine.
 
Pastry said:
Part of me wants to lower to her level and go and find the hottest girl I can this weekend and just plaster pictures of the two of us on my Facebook
Click to expand...

If you have this ability, why haven't you already done so, plastering of pictures or not? (though putting the pictures up on FB would be a nice touch, fuck all this honorable bigger person crap)
 
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