I don't care if she will be with another. What I care about is that I finally listened to my own feelings and give myself the opportunity to move on.She will be with another guy very soon. Prepare for that. You were just being strung along.

I don't care if she will be with another. What I care about is that I finally listened to my own feelings and give myself the opportunity to move on.She will be with another guy very soon. Prepare for that. You were just being strung along.
Gonna jump in here and ask for some advice. I've been dating a women for over 4 years and the relationship seems to be dieing out. This is my first long term girlfriend, she has 2 kids in junior high, and we don't live together but we work at the same company. She doesn't seem to miss me when I'm gone on business trips and she totally lost her sex drive. It went from sex on our lunch breaks to once a month. We use to go out more but now she doesn't make any effort and we just stay home watching tv 90% of the time. I've tried to do a weekend away but she shoots it down. I no longer get a hug and a kiss when I leave her place as she just says goodnight from where she is sitting. At first I thought it was job and kid stress getting her down but now it's been like this for months. She is an amazing women but now I'm starting to feel like our relationship has died and we just don't want to admitt it.
So should I just give it some time or break up and try to move on? It's tough for me to move on because she is basically my best friend and I don't have another social network to hang out with and meet new people.
Gonna jump in here and ask for some advice. I've been dating a women for over 4 years and the relationship seems to be dieing out. This is my first long term girlfriend, she has 2 kids in junior high, and we don't live together but we work at the same company. She doesn't seem to miss me when I'm gone on business trips and she totally lost her sex drive. It went from sex on our lunch breaks to once a month. We use to go out more but now she doesn't make any effort and we just stay home watching tv 90% of the time. I've tried to do a weekend away but she shoots it down. I no longer get a hug and a kiss when I leave her place as she just says goodnight from where she is sitting. At first I thought it was job and kid stress getting her down but now it's been like this for months. She is an amazing women but now I'm starting to feel like our relationship has died and we just don't want to admitt it.
So should I just give it some time or break up and try to move on? It's tough for me to move on because she is basically my best friend and I don't have another social network to hang out with and meet new people.
Keep it up man. I hope you're talking to chicks in your other classes and not solely her. At least you're showing her that you're not simply interested in her as a friend.So today I talked some more with the girl in my chem class, she had a nice perfume on so I complimented her on it and there was either a little flirting or joke as a result of it. We walked to the train station together started out as a big group but ended up with just her and me as we got to our station. So everything seems to be going well, not rushing anything as per advice from the thread but I definitely should have more conversations with her.
I don't if it's me or not but she reminds me of an ex looks wise like if I were to look at her back, there's something I just can't put my finger on also.
I haven't cried a tear yet, it probably will come though. Heading for school.
I'm thinking, maybe I should just let her pick up the box instead of me going there as I have never met the people she lives with at her place, it would be awkward to that family, that a stranger just come by with a huge box.
Keep it up man. I hope you're talking to chicks in your other classes and not solely her. At least you're showing her that you're not simply interested in her as a friend.
Another great day for me; I think fortune is going to smile upon me very soon. I talked to one of the girls in my Art History class during a break by simply asking her if she got the textbook and for how much then we went from there. It's pretty easy to make conversation with people about anything I'm starting to learn.
Much later that day, at a book signing, I initiated the conversation between two women who turned out to be teachers by asking them about this really of a book that she had and going from there; we built a pretty good rapport and had good conversation all around. I was also talking a couple of dudes; one of which was a teacher as well as two other girls that were sitting behind me.
I also hit it off well with a Dominican chick with braces since we broke off into speaking in Spanish for a while (who knew that Dominicans fall for each others' charms? I'm not the stereotypical Dominican but I was myself so if that's my charm, then cool) She hinted at wanting my number because she wanted to send me a picture of her with the author. Her quiet white friend caught my interest. I made a couple of a wise cracks which had her laughing. Unfortunately, once I got my book signed left the store, and had already swiped into the subway, I realized I should have waited for them. It sucks, but things happen so I'm not so sore about it. I do think about what could've happened had I not gotten into the subway right away.![]()
There was another attractive girl who was by herself that caught my eye but I didn't talk to. People come and go all the time throughout our daily lives, so that's why if someone catches our eye we must seize the moment. It's that transitive thing that EviLore keeps talking about in his travel thread. People are also very observant and open up very easily once the ice gets broken.
I shall be keeping the momentum going by talking to more people though out my classes and what not. There's an ice cream social/karaoke event at my school later today that I plan on checking out. Not sure if I have the guts to sing/rap, but I'm in a very good social mood so we'll see where it goes. I feel pretty damn good; that's the way everyone should be feeling every day after talking to people. So yeah guys, if your favorite author is in town for a book signing/Q&A, go check it out. You will meet people extremely easily. The author was joking around by saying that all the single people in the room better hook up with each other by the time the signing was all said and done.
Yeah, let her pick up the stuff. You shouldn't have to deliver anything.
CHEAT-GAF, the fuck do I do?
I can't have her at my place.
Hotel.
I don't think GAF will be willing to help you too much with this. At least not in here.
Have you laid out these issues to her as plainly as you have to us?
It sounds like the relationship has gone bad, but you may as well see if she's willing to do anything about it if you're committed. If she doesn't want to change or continues to deny the problems it's probably time to move on.
We both looked into having one of our names changed on the tickets/hotel but it would end up costing nearly the same amount as the holiday itself and we can't find anyone with that kinda money or time in October. On top of that, it would probably make the work situation even more of a nightmare.
As for trying to find things to do, when I'm down the gym and I get into the right mindset, it does help however I struggle to find that motivation. I know I need to find a hobby or something but just can't seem to come up with anything.
We talked about it once. She cried a lot and said I deserved better. She also said she loved me and didn't know why she was being the way she was. I thought we would spend some time apart but she invited me to a movie the next day. The level of affection I'm looking for still isn't there but we get a long so well. In over 4 yrs we've never had a fight. I think we might end up as friends but I still want her really badly.
We talked about it once. She cried a lot and said I deserved better. She also said she loved me and didn't know why she was being the way she was. I thought we would spend some time apart but she invited me to a movie the next day. The level of affection I'm looking for still isn't there but we get a long so well. In over 4 yrs we've never had a fight. I think we might end up as friends but I still want her really badly.
We talked about it once. She cried a lot and said I deserved better. She also said she loved me and didn't know why she was being the way she was. I thought we would spend some time apart but she invited me to a movie the next day. The level of affection I'm looking for still isn't there but we get a long so well. In over 4 yrs we've never had a fight. I think we might end up as friends but I still want her really badly.
yep, I'm not here to discuss the hows and whys and I am glad REASON-GAF is quick to point the exit before I make of a fool of myself even more.
I kinda make the girl look like a slut, and my girlfriend stupid. Truth is both are goddamn fine, and I'm not worthy of their attention and yet I am...is there a philosophical thread in here?
This may make me seem like a bad person, but I'm tired of my girlfriend's constant complaining that her life sucks. She had to move back in with her parents since she got evicted from her apartment in June. She took out a huge loan so that she could go to a college for hair and design, which was one of those programs that you graduate in like 5 or 6 months. Now I'm no expert on those kind of colleges, but they seem like a huge ripoff. Now she's paying all of that off. To my knowledge all she does it work. If she chills with friends or goes somewhere, I'll never here about it.
She has a lease on her car, which is a 2010 Honda, and is pretty expensive. She has to pay a large phone bill each month cause she has internet so it's around $100/month. She also has to pay back the apartment complex around $310/month since she didn't find someone to take her lease over. She works at a restaurant, so she makes the $2.13/hour plus tips.
Her parents aren't supportive at all and constantly bitch at her for not having a real job, etc. etc. There's just so much negativity coming from her, she doesn't even seem to care about all the positive things that happen in my life. I student teach in a first grade classroom, and I always have funny stories to tell her and i'll tell her about it, and she'll immediately change the subject and talk about herself.
On a different note, I also found out that she cheated on her ex boyfriend with me. She told me she was single when we slept together and then broke up with her boyfriend afterwards. So I also have to think about how she'll prob cheat on me.
well that's kinda sordid, so unless she asks I think I'd rather stay away from that solution.
I can borrow a friend's place though.
But logistics + finding a proper excuse for my grilfriend is making it doubly emabarassing, I seriously dislike cheating but...I 'm beyond finding excuses for doing it.
I really tried to push the girl and see what she thinks of me and both cheating, yet I can't help want her and she clearly has desires for me at the moment.
Maybe since she masturbated on me and told/shoed me so, that will keep her in check.
Yet having been this far, it feels kinda dumb not to do it with her.
Learn your lesson. You've already apologized, she'll come around if she's worth it. Continue to work on yourself and you won't need to worry about "this one girl" anymore. You're not supposed to get hung up on any one girl like that. Not this early anyway.Fuck me gaf, I'm an idiot.
I mentioned earlier in this thread how I was talking to this girl. Well I was texting her and I told her how she kind of reminded me of this girl who I used to know who looked similar. The girl who I used to know was bipolar, immature, and kind of a skank.
Yeah...
Obviously she was insulted. I texted her after and apologized saying that I didn't mean to say that. I told her she's the complete opposite of that girl and how she's one of the sweetest girls I know (which she is) and apologized again.
I feel so stupid. Is there anything I can do?
Ok so I've known her for about a month now, we went on three dates so far, I showed lots of interest to her on the second and third dates, kissing etc.
But she insists that I should call her everyday at 8:30pm clockwork, she is very "disciplined" in her daily routines, work, gym, dinner etc.
We live one hour drive away from each other, and weekends is the only and best time to see each other. I really suck at phone conversations, if I have no good reason to call somebody, I wont, I cannot engage in long ass phone conversation, my life is pretty simple, and I work from home (alone) so I honestly do not have exciting weekdays.
She still wants to know how my day went, and I feel somewhat embarrassed and pressured to sound more "exciting" for her. I like the idea of (at this point in our "relationship") to not talk everyday and just anticipate the weekend and have lots to talk about and have fun.... but she just wants to chat on the phone every night, I am becoming really uncomfortable...
I even skipped a night or two not talking to her, she indirectly told me off for it "Next time just send me a simple text that you cannot talk tonight, you are going to a concert with your friends mmkay?"
I donno GAF, I like her, I really do, I enjoy her company in person. But I don't like this iron fist of controlling at this very early stage of our relationship, I mean just three bloody dates so far!(not even a month) let's get to know each other better, and have good reasons to call each other, rather than a business routine "I'm checking in at 8:30 tonight."
Are you suppose to talk with someone you like a half hour to an hour on the phone everyday? Am I just an asshole? Am I too indifferent? am I self conscious that I do not have the social skills to entertain a woman on the telephone for a half to an hour everyday?
Her authoritative demands are kinda becoming a bit of a turn off, I don't want a mother that wants to know how was my day, everyday, I want a girlfriend.
well that's kinda sordid, so unless she asks I think I'd rather stay away from that solution.
I can borrow a friend's place though.
But logistics + finding a proper excuse for my grilfriend is making it doubly emabarassing, I seriously dislike cheating but...I 'm beyond finding excuses for doing it.
I really tried to push the girl and see what she thinks of me and both cheating, yet I can't help want her and she clearly has desires for me at the moment.
Maybe since she masturbated on me and told/shoed me so, that will keep her in check.
Yet having been this far, it feels kinda dumb not to do it with her.
well that's kinda sordid, so unless she asks I think I'd rather stay away from that solution.
I can borrow a friend's place though.
But logistics + finding a proper excuse for my grilfriend is making it doubly emabarassing, I seriously dislike cheating but...I 'm beyond finding excuses for doing it.
I really tried to push the girl and see what she thinks of me and both cheating, yet I can't help want her and she clearly has desires for me at the moment.
Maybe since she masturbated on me and told/shoed me so, that will keep her in check.
Yet having been this far, it feels kinda dumb not to do it with her.
This whole thing is ridiculous. She initiates any contact and you should only text to make plans when she does so. Nothing else. The precedent has already been set, so expect to move on hereOk so I've known her for about a month now, we went on three dates so far, I showed lots of interest to her on the second and third dates, kissing etc.
But she insists that I should call her everyday at 8:30pm clockwork, she is very "disciplined" in her daily routines, work, gym, dinner etc.
We live one hour drive away from each other, and weekends is the only and best time to see each other. I really suck at phone conversations, if I have no good reason to call somebody, I wont, I cannot engage in long ass phone conversation, my life is pretty simple, and I work from home (alone) so I honestly do not have exciting weekdays.
She still wants to know how my day went, and I feel somewhat embarrassed and pressured to sound more "exciting" for her. I like the idea of (at this point in our "relationship") to not talk everyday and just anticipate the weekend and have lots to talk about and have fun.... but she just wants to chat on the phone every night, I am becoming really uncomfortable...
I even skipped a night or two not talking to her, she indirectly told me off for it "Next time just send me a simple text that you cannot talk tonight, you are going to a concert with your friends mmkay?"
I donno GAF, I like her, I really do, I enjoy her company in person. But I don't like this iron fist of controlling at this very early stage of our relationship, I mean just three bloody dates so far!(not even a month) let's get to know each other better, and have good reasons to call each other, rather than a business routine "I'm checking in at 8:30 tonight."
Are you suppose to talk with someone you like a half hour to an hour on the phone everyday? Am I just an asshole? Am I too indifferent? am I self conscious that I do not have the social skills to entertain a woman on the telephone for a half to an hour everyday?
Her authoritative demands are kinda becoming a bit of a turn off, I don't want a mother that wants to know how was my day, everyday, I want a girlfriend.
I'm guessing that the look-look-away is womanese for "I want you to talk to me since I find you attractive?"
I mean don't get wrong I have a full set of decent colored teeth.
Haha, that's funny because that's exactly how it is in the train minus the dramatic music and that I didn't get off to follow her. That's kind of creepy stalker stuff and I live in NYC myself so I know. I'd be scared stupid if I had someone following me out the train but I get what you're saying.Or she's looking to you because she's wondering whether you're starting at her. Or she's into you.
If your smile reveals teeth you're smiling wrong.
Hey, I was just wondering if this is being creepy:
I just met these Japanese girls a few weeks ago with a friend. I talked to the girls about how they liked it in my city, their taste in music (since music is pretty universal) and biggest cultural difference they noticed from Japan to here. Then I asked them the next day if they would possibly want to go karaoke with the same friend the next week just for fun (since they said they like karaoke-ing)
Pretty much the convo asking them was like
Me - "Hey, are you busy on Friday, I was thinking we could go karaoke with *insert friend name here* . It'll probably be fun!"
Them - "Oh sorry, we're busy on Friday but if you have free time, tell us and we can go out for coffee again!"
Me - "okay sure! I'll let you know"
This is all according to that friend who went with me and how they thought I came on too strong and sending a creepy vibe? Maybe it's the karaoke thing? Because I don't remember saying anything that would send out a creepy vibe :S
How do you know they thought it was creepy...they told your friend specifically that?
Apparently they told the friend that. That friend then told my other close friend and that's how I heard it from.
If it was creepy it was probably how you said it (tone, body language etc) not what you said specifically.This is all according to that friend who went with me and how they thought I came on too strong and sending a creepy vibe? Maybe it's the karaoke thing? Because I don't remember saying anything that would send out a creepy vibe :S
This seems almost hard to believe. Four years without a -single- fight? My Ex and I were best friends, but we fought all the time.
And much like Perspicacity said - I ended my relationship because I didn't see any growth on her part. She hadn't changed much in three years. It has been really hard, but you have to do what's best for you. Your happiness and finding someone who makes you a better person.
They were complaining about being too disusting for your tastesI'm not sure if they were talking about me, but when I went out tonight some girls past me and said "disgusting" whilst looking my way.
It certainly makes me feel like shit, even if they weren't talking about me.
So last Saturday I hung out with a girl and its very obvious we clicked. We went bowling and to Batman because she wanted to see it. Afterwards we made out and talked about everything for maybe like... almost four hours into the morning until my car battery died because I'm retarded (she stuck around and helped me charge it up, making out in the rain while we waited). She said after this she'd be super duper busy, which I understand but I texted her Tuesday night and once (talking about her play she's performing in) Wednesday night, but she hasn't gotten back to me. (We texted several times a day before and after the date) Should I be worried? I really liked her and in person she liked me too, but over texts she seems lackadaisical (though I wonder if that's because of her work) and doesn't seem to respond to my flirting when I do it (like just takes the compliment but doesn't give one back)
What do I do? I don't want to scare her off because she's pretty awesome, but I'm worried.
edit: I messaged her going "you weren't kidding about being super busyI hope you have some free time at some point to hang out again, but I understand if you're booked!"
If she doesn't reply to that then I give up![]()
no drinks at all, actually.