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[thestopsign]

No biggie, nice job going for it.

It's nice just because I'm in college, and I've had a thing for her since the start of the semester and it has kind of been blocking my ambition to go for other girls. I also have a big party tomorrow that I'm going to, so hopefully I get lucky there now that I don't have my friend in the back of my mind.

 

[NekoToshiro]

I was playing DND today at school with my friends and a few other people, totaling about ten people. So basically soon as Jeremy left the girls were all over Jeremy and how hot he was and wanted his number and how they took photos of him while he wasn't paying attention. I feel as if this is never my case.
P.S. First time really playing DND. Interesting game, I set an inn on fire with allies still inside and a monster.

 

[Atramental]

I was playing DND today at school with my friends and a few other people, totaling about ten people. So basically soon as Jeremy left the girls were all over Jeremy and how hot he was and wanted his number and how they took photos of him while he wasn't paying attention. I feel as if this is never my case.
P.S. First time really playing DND. Interesting game, I set an inn on fire with allies still inside and a monster.

Hmmm.

 

[movie_club]

So I met this girl over the summer, who had a bf at the time, but is studying the same thing as me and all around great- we get along well.

Ran into her last weekend, she suggested we hang out. I invited her to see a poet speak- which we did tonight. Had a great time, seemed like she did as well, but she had to bail right after to do work. She invited me to a party at her apartment that has no date at the moment.

Thing is I really can not tell if she is into me or wants to be friends and not sure how to approach hanging out again- even if it Is just as friends

 

[The Outsider]

Couple of questions for you all here.

1: Is texting an acceptable method to ask a girl out? Not much opportunity to ask her in person, and we've been texting pretty regularly for a little while now.

2: Coffee or dinner for first date? Does it really matter?

Well, if anyone cares, I asked, but she was busy the night I asked her out. She specifically said "I can't, sorry", so I got the impression asking wasn't a bad idea.

We've also been texting normally since, so seems like she wasn't put off by the idea. Maybe I asked too casually. Been too long since I've tried this sort of thing.

Going to a football game with her on Saturday along with some of her friends, so I might try asking her out again then.

 

[Fou-Lu]

Asked a girl to a concert of a band we both love, she'll be on vaction with her parents apparently. She did mention if I can catch the band at another date she'd go. Not sure how to feel, also not sure if she realized I was asking her on a date or if she thought it was a friend thing.

 

[Darklord]

Do it. My friend and I heard this one Australian kid speak in class and we were immediately aware he had his pick of the women. Unfortunately there's nowhere I can go as an American and feel that same way.


Damn.

I'm really thinking about traveling there. My nationality would be a great way to start conversations and get to know people. I was given an offer to be shown around LA by a married woman....pretty cute though. >_>

 

[Omegasquash]

Yea I know, I just had this feeling that something like this was going to happen. This girl is easily the most beautiful girl I've ever gone on a date with so...yea.

I'm definitely going for the Sunday thing. It might be for the best since I have tonsillitis right now anyway haha.

Anyway, after going back and forth for a few minutes in texts I just told her to keep me updated if her work lightens up tonight and we can just grab a drink, nothing crazy just for an hour or so to hang out, and if she can't no worries and we'll stay in touch on Sunday.

Would it be weird to shoot her a text tonight asking how her work is going or something like that? Or just don't do that, and text her Saturday about Sunday. With the usual text on Friday of "How's it going" or should I not do that either?

Shit man, sorry I didn't catch this yesterday. I'd not send a text asking her how she's doing if you already asked her to keep you updated, but don't be shy about things like FB posts, status updates and the like. The clever use of checking in shows that you have a life and are doing things. You could also send a text saying that you hope work isn't too much of a drag. It shows your thinking about her but not pestering her, you dig?

 

[Omegasquash]

Dear GAF,

I just came back from a party, and I'm confused as hell. Also intoxicated, if that's of any importance.

I just came back from a gala. Not the kind of party ala Project X or disco or whatever. We're talking about tuxedos, suits, pretty girls in pretty dresses and only champagne to drink. I must say I was quite handsome in my outfit (or maybe not, but confidence is important).

The party is going well, every one is having fun, including me with the group of friends I came with (males and females). During the party I came to dance with a charming young lady. I kind of like her, and I think she kind of likes me. The dance becomes quite hot, and when I want to take things next level (like just a kiss) she suddendly tells me she has a boyfriend and she doesn't want to do that.

Girl, you would be riding on my cock if it weren't for the clothes we were wearing. Seriously. And now you tell me that ?

So either you're just to shy to tell me to go fuck myself and you don't want to do anything further or either you really have a boyfriend, and in that case, what the fuck ?

I mean, if I were engaged in any kind of relationship, I wouldn't be rubbing my ass on a guy's cock/rubbing myself onto another girl...

I'm really confused right now...maybe I just came upon a peticular person...

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, though I'm not sure how to roll that into some kind of sexual thing without it sounding like you were looking to give a girl a blowjob, which would make tons of sense.

Don't think on it too much man, I've been in that position more than once, and it just ended with a case of the blues.

 

[I'm an expert]

You say you went to a fancy gala not a disco.. but then you say you were straight grindin with a girl. Were you just dancing normally front to back or was she Jersey Turnpikin you? Though it might seem sensual, dancing front to back is pretty standard, especially between strangers at a club when you want to ignore eye contact and just dance. I'd practically go from one girl's behind to another when on the dance floor..almost like connect the dots. I'll admit if she does have a boyfriend it's a bit sketchy, but if he wasn't there and she just wanted to have a good time.. shrug.

 

[Loona]

Not a dating or relationship issue, but more of an awkwardness awareness issue, I guess.

This girl I knew through my by ex is putting together a b-day party this weekend, which she announced on FB. We've met a few times while I was my my ex, and had some occasional exchanges with her on FB, nothing that personal, I don't have her phone number to ask about the party directly to her outside FB, and getting to the place of the party itself would be a bit of an issue.

I don't know, on one hand I feel I shouldn't bother, but feel I should be getting myself out there more often...

 

[Minamu]

My belief comes from objective experiences. I know you're trying to give advice, but your reality is different from mine. Girls do not approach me; I'm not going to leave it to the <1% off chance that one will, so I will be proactive about my problems.

No, your belief comes having a belief and not seeing anything but evidence that support your train of thought. It always comes down to confirmation bias. You have to understand, I've been way below you and this reality of mine is new to me, and it can be yours too. It's not like I'm sitting on my ass every day, I'm just proactive in different ways and maybe with different goals. Getting approached will remain a <1% off chance as long as you believe it is an off chance. I was never approached before and zero women showed interest in me. But that's not really true either. I was just blind to those that did show interest. They did not register as that was an impossible occurence. If you want a different kind of reality, you have to stop saying things like "Girls do not approach me". Basically the same day I started believing the opposite, that change happened instantly and I see girls showing interest all the time. Now I barely register the ones that don't approach me instead. I have no interest in them anyway so that's fine. Just last night, I got introduced to a friend of a friend and two minutes later, she's like "Oooh you have an Iron Maiden shirt" running her fingers across the letters. So I do the same to her after opening her vest and she says something along the lines of "You're the only guy in here I'd allow to touch my breasts". Two minutes. Hand shake to chest. If you want that to be a regular Thursday night, you need to change on the inside and change your life story.

 

[grap3fruitman]

Oh em gee you guys, there's this absolutely incredibly adorable girl at my new workplace that appears to like me and keeps asking me what I'm doing every weekend to which I always respond: "Nothing." What do I do??

 

[UFRA]

Oh em gee you guys, there's this absolutely incredibly adorable girl at my new workplace that appears to like me and keeps asking me what I'm doing every weekend to which I always respond: "Nothing." What do I do??

Next time say "something...wanna do something with me?"

 

[NekoToshiro]

Hmmm.

http://i.minus.com/iEt6Styyx7ecW.png[IMG][/QUOTE]

I don't get it.

 

[KevinCow]

So uh.

I talked to a girl today. Chick who works at the Gamestop. Really cute. I went in to check out the buy 2 get 1 used sale, and we just kinda started chatting about video games.

As I was checking out, I suggested we hang out and play video games some time. She gave me her Gamertag... not her phone number.

I don't know what this means, GAF.


She never mentioned a boyfriend while we were talking. Girls usually seem to go out of their way to mention a boyfriend when I talk to them for an extended length of time. I kept expecting something like, "I like this game, I play it with my boyfriend," or something. It never came.

So I guess that's good. But I'm not sure how to figure it out for sure without coming off as weird. Also I'd be really surprised if she didn't have a boyfriend, because she's adorable and seems really nice and cool.


Also the fact that she gave me her Gamertag instead of her phone number. I can't decide if this means something. Like maybe she just gives all the customers who ask her out her Gamertag instead of her number because it's safer or something? A girl giving a guy her phone number pretty unmistakably says, "Yes, I am interested." But giving me her Gamertag instead could have been a way of subtly saying she just wants to be friends.


So how do I find out if she's available without being weird and pushy and forward? How do I find out if she's interested or if she just wants to be friends? How do I go forward without ruining everything?

GAF, I know I've bitched and moaned about girl problems recently, but I seem to have made some progress today. Please help me not fuck this up.

 

[commedieu]

So uh.

I talked to a girl today. Chick who works at the Gamestop. Really cute. I went in to check out the buy 2 get 1 used sale, and we just kinda started chatting about video games.

As I was checking out, I suggested we hang out and play video games some time. She gave me her Gamertag... not her phone number.

I don't know what this means, GAF.


She never mentioned a boyfriend while we were talking. Girls usually seem to go out of their way to mention a boyfriend when I talk to them for an extended length of time. I kept expecting something like, "I like this game, I play it with my boyfriend," or something. It never came.

So I guess that's good. But I'm not sure how to figure it out for sure without coming off as weird. Also I'd be really surprised if she didn't have a boyfriend, because she's adorable and seems really nice and cool.


Also the fact that she gave me her Gamertag instead of her phone number. I can't decide if this means something. Like maybe she just gives all the customers who ask her out her Gamertag instead of her number because it's safer or something? A girl giving a guy her phone number pretty unmistakably says, "Yes, I am interested." But giving me her Gamertag instead could have been a way of subtly saying she just wants to be friends.


So how do I find out if she's available without being weird and pushy and forward? How do I find out if she's interested or if she just wants to be friends? How do I go forward without ruining everything?

GAF, I know I've bitched and moaned about girl problems recently, but I seem to have made some progress today. Please help me not fuck this up.

slight mistakes, but good progress

Inviting someone home to hang out and play videogames is a bit of a tall order. Should have suggested coffee or a movie.. or something that wouldn't set off her rape alarm. You suggested playing games, she gave a gamertag. Kind of makes sense.

If you asked to take her out, she probably would have gave you digits, or at least an email to follow up the social situation.

You have nothing to lose, add her. Send her a message about getting a bite or something. Then you'll get the boyfriend data you seek.

Fuck her and her stupid face if she doesn't reply. Plenty more fish out there. Remember that. Its no reflection of you, ya guys just don't mesh. Thats all.

 

[mooooose]

^^^ agree with the above

Also the potential fact that she may be an awkward nerd working at Gamestop and isn't used to giving out her number.

 

[FyreWulff]

You asked to play games with her, she gave you her gamertag so you could play games with her. You just tried to ask a videogame nerd out. Expected result occured.

 

[Minamu]

ITT: Funny trolls get serious answers

 

[grap3fruitman]

Next time say "something...wanna do something with me?"

It's been my experience that "something" shows indecisiveness and is a huge turn off to women. I would need to actually suggest something, which I wouldn't know what to suggest as I've never dated before and just don't get out in general.

ITT: Funny trolls get serious answers

Kind of trolling, kind of not. I was foiled however because I was fishing for the typical "Ask her out, the worst she can do is say 'No'" response.

I'll give my response anyway: I'm not afraid of "No," I'm quite familiar with it from my teenage years and it would be a relief at this point. I'm afraid she'd actually say "Yes" since I have never had that happen and wouldn't know what to do next. I'd probably have a heart attack or faint from nervousness if I heard "Yes."

 

[Mao]

English in not my first language so bear with me

a bit background im from saudi arabia live an US now (been here for a year now ) in other word i have no idea how to when come to dating and such.I dont have a problem talking with girl its just i always ALWAYS go to the "friend rout" even if she like and i like her, i kinda dont where to go form there to be honest without doing/saying something creepy lol.

So i know this girl for a from school we hung out all the time after school/movie/ escaping classes lol.I know she like me (not 100% sure) but i really have no idea what to do :/.tomorrow we going out together to watch a movie and goof around SO what should i do gaf?

 

[Old Lace]

If my sister ever wants nieces and nephews, she ought to make sure that there's more single females in her crew of friends at the bar.

 

[Etrian Oddity]

No, your belief comes having a belief and not seeing anything but evidence that support your train of thought. It always comes down to confirmation bias. You have to understand, I've been way below you and this reality of mine is new to me, and it can be yours too. It's not like I'm sitting on my ass every day, I'm just proactive in different ways and maybe with different goals. Getting approached will remain a <1% off chance as long as you believe it is an off chance. I was never approached before and zero women showed interest in me. But that's not really true either. I was just blind to those that did show interest. They did not register as that was an impossible occurence. If you want a different kind of reality, you have to stop saying things like "Girls do not approach me". Basically the same day I started believing the opposite, that change happened instantly and I see girls showing interest all the time. Now I barely register the ones that don't approach me instead. I have no interest in them anyway so that's fine. Just last night, I got introduced to a friend of a friend and two minutes later, she's like "Oooh you have an Iron Maiden shirt" running her fingers across the letters. So I do the same to her after opening her vest and she says something along the lines of "You're the only guy in here I'd allow to touch my breasts". Two minutes. Hand shake to chest. If you want that to be a regular Thursday night, you need to change on the inside and change your life story.

This is not something that you change like flicking a light switch. I've come a long way in a year and a half since I've come to college, but there's still a lot about myself that I'm unhappy about (and likely project). It's something I want to change, but it doesn't happen overnight. There are highs and lows, and it's hard not to compare yourself with others (specifically, what you do not have). I'm also on an uphill fight because I've been fighting tooth and nail to lose weight and improve my physical health. A lot of mental things are not that easy to change, my friend.

 

[leadbelly]

Maybe she's waiting for you to call/text her? Unless you have already and she hasn't responded - in that case, that sucks.

'Playing it cool' is one thing I really struggle with, although I am getting better at it. I find it hard to be nonchalant but when I like a guy I need reassurance he feels the same - but too much texting or whatever and it comes off as needy and clingy. It's a hard balance to strike.

.
Or worse, harassment. If a girl doesn't respond to me then I will leave it to her to decide what she wants to do. If she is actually interested in getting to know me more, then she should actually make the effort to do so. If you try and she ignores you, it's on her then to get in touch.

If she doesn't or is more interested in someone else, then move on. There is only so much messing around I can take. I would give up, I wouldn't play that game. If she acts uninterested, so be it, that's her decision, I hope it is the right one. I may really like that girl, but there would be no turning back.

 

[Movement]

Hey guys, I'm in a bit of a situation and it's really bringing me down. I don't really have anyone to talk about it with; I was thinking to get some of your thoughts/advice.

I recently became re-acquainted with an old friend that I have known for a while. I made it pretty clear the I was interested in her and we flirt in class and what not. I first asked her out last friday, she said yes, gave me her number but cancelled that night because she had to get up early for work the next day.

No big deal, I thought, she even re-scheduled for tonight. I saw her this whole last week (we have two classes together at Uni) and we get along great. Fast forward to tonight and she cancels again because she 'feels like death'. But she rescheduled for tomorrow. If she cancels again tomorrow should I just take it as the end of that? I legitimately can't tell if she's just being nice or she legitimately wants to go out with me.

 

[GiJoccin]

No big deal, I thought, she even re-scheduled for tonight. I saw her this whole last week (we have two classes together at Uni) and we get along great. Fast forward to tonight and she cancels again because she 'feels like death'. But she rescheduled for tomorrow. If she cancels again tomorrow should I just take it as the end of that? I legitimately can't tell if she's just being nice or she legitimately wants to go out with me.

as long as she's the one rescheduling it's OK, to a point.

but yeah, tomorrow is probably the last go, unless she offers up profuse apologies + reschedules

 

[Arksy]

Hey guys, I'm in a bit of a situation and it's really bringing me down. I don't really have anyone to talk about it with; I was thinking to get some of your thoughts/advice.

I recently became re-acquainted with an old friend that I have known for a while. I made it pretty clear the I was interested in her and we flirt in class and what not. I first asked her out last friday, she said yes, gave me her number but cancelled that night because she had to get up early for work the next day.

No big deal, I thought, she even re-scheduled for tonight. I saw her this whole last week (we have two classes together at Uni) and we get along great. Fast forward to tonight and she cancels again because she 'feels like death'. But she rescheduled for tomorrow. If she cancels again tomorrow should I just take it as the end of that? I legitimately can't tell if she's just being nice or she legitimately wants to go out with me.

Give her the benefit of a doubt since she's rescheduling but if it's another cancel get out of there.

 

[RichieS99]

Well gentlemen, I am new to the forums and have really only had like five or so posts but I always look in here and admire the comradery. I will be here a fair amount if I am honest as I am going to be starting fresh for the first time in eight years. I have been a serial relationship guy going from one which was four years to three years to ten months. Sadly the last one of ten months ended a few days ago. I just found out today she was cheating on me. I really had felt she was special more so than the others. Well I guess I will be moving on after her but really have no clue where to begin. Any tips?

 

[Log4Girlz]

Hey guys, I'm in a bit of a situation and it's really bringing me down. I don't really have anyone to talk about it with; I was thinking to get some of your thoughts/advice.

I recently became re-acquainted with an old friend that I have known for a while. I made it pretty clear the I was interested in her and we flirt in class and what not. I first asked her out last friday, she said yes, gave me her number but cancelled that night because she had to get up early for work the next day.

No big deal, I thought, she even re-scheduled for tonight. I saw her this whole last week (we have two classes together at Uni) and we get along great. Fast forward to tonight and she cancels again because she 'feels like death'. But she rescheduled for tomorrow. If she cancels again tomorrow should I just take it as the end of that? I legitimately can't tell if she's just being nice or she legitimately wants to go out with me.

If she bails again call her sobbing on the phone...jk she doesn't care about you

 

[Sub_Level]

Is it a good idea to retread old ground? There's this one girl that I've been thinking of, we never really did anything beyond kissing, but she just cut contact with me a few months ago; ignored all my texts and calls (neither of which were numerous). And it's weird for me because the last time we spoke in person we decided to be friends. Did she change her mind? I still have her number and email.

 

[Pastry]

Hmmm so I need some help with this one GAF, can't figure it out. Met this girl at the bar last night she went to my university so she knows my friends decently well. All my friends end up bailing pretty early in the night so it is just the two of us hanging out and shooting the shit until the bar closes. At one point before they left one of the girls she knows from college asked her how boyfriend was and she was just like oh good I guess and then left it at that. A couple times the rest of the night she brought up an ex casually in conversation and even asked about mine when comversation turned to crazy exes. The two of us left the bar at last call and went to see if we could go find a party we knew about. We never found the party but walked the neighborhood for a while shooting the shit. Since we couldn't find the party we ended up grabbing some food and talking until about 4:30 when she dropped me off at my place and I got her number. The thing is I don't know if she has a boyfriend or not. Once it was just the two of us I was hitting on her absolutely shamelessly and she never stopped me to say she had a boyfriend or brought him up in conversation. It was also just the two of us talking for a long time and the only reason we left the restaurant was because she noticed we were the last two people there and they were cleaning up around us. So yeah, what to do GAF? I'm going to invite her out with my friends sometime this week for happy hour or this weekend. I'm just not sure how to approach this whole situation.

 

[dvolovets]

Hey guys, I'm in a bit of a situation and it's really bringing me down. I don't really have anyone to talk about it with; I was thinking to get some of your thoughts/advice.

I recently became re-acquainted with an old friend that I have known for a while. I made it pretty clear the I was interested in her and we flirt in class and what not. I first asked her out last friday, she said yes, gave me her number but cancelled that night because she had to get up early for work the next day.

No big deal, I thought, she even re-scheduled for tonight. I saw her this whole last week (we have two classes together at Uni) and we get along great. Fast forward to tonight and she cancels again because she 'feels like death'. But she rescheduled for tomorrow. If she cancels again tomorrow should I just take it as the end of that? I legitimately can't tell if she's just being nice or she legitimately wants to go out with me.

Don't worry about it, especially considering that she is rescheduling. I find that I'm the one who tends to reschedule more often than not w/ dates, but I do my best to make it clear that I still want to see the person by either suggesting another day or explicitly saying that I still want to see her. Don't make it more complicated than it needs to be.

 

[The Hermit]

Asked out the girl I met on the bus... she responds, "I don't think my boyfriend would like that very much."

WELL THANKS FOR FLIRTING WITH ME!

bwhaha! girls love to do that... the other day there was a girl saying that she's getting tired of her 7 years relationship and all that, gave me her phone and start flirting with me. Then one day we go out to have a meal (not a date, it was just her dinner time of the work), and after that I try to make a move on her and she bails saying "I have a boyfriend and shit"
After that incident she said that I misunderstood her, that she was just seeking friendship...








Well, writing and thinking about it out loud, maybe it wasn't her fault actually.

So uh.

I talked to a girl today. Chick who works at the Gamestop. Really cute. I went in to check out the buy 2 get 1 used sale, and we just kinda started chatting about video games.

As I was checking out, I suggested we hang out and play video games some time. She gave me her Gamertag... not her phone number.

I don't know what this means, GAF.


She never mentioned a boyfriend while we were talking. Girls usually seem to go out of their way to mention a boyfriend when I talk to them for an extended length of time. I kept expecting something like, "I like this game, I play it with my boyfriend," or something. It never came.

So I guess that's good. But I'm not sure how to figure it out for sure without coming off as weird. Also I'd be really surprised if she didn't have a boyfriend, because she's adorable and seems really nice and cool.


Also the fact that she gave me her Gamertag instead of her phone number. I can't decide if this means something. Like maybe she just gives all the customers who ask her out her Gamertag instead of her number because it's safer or something? A girl giving a guy her phone number pretty unmistakably says, "Yes, I am interested." But giving me her Gamertag instead could have been a way of subtly saying she just wants to be friends.


So how do I find out if she's available without being weird and pushy and forward? How do I find out if she's interested or if she just wants to be friends? How do I go forward without ruining everything?

GAF, I know I've bitched and moaned about girl problems recently, but I seem to have made some progress today. Please help me not fuck this up.

Patience. Just play some games, say some shit and wait. Its though, I know, but the more anxious you get the harder its for you to succeed.
Other thing that I just recently learned, keep knowing people. Most girl you know are very likely to already have a boyfriend and/or not get into you, but she might have a friend who is. After a while you will realize the difference of someone who is not interested of someone who is... *looks up* herm, well most of times anyway lol.

 

[Minamu]

This is not something that you change like flicking a light switch. I've come a long way in a year and a half since I've come to college, but there's still a lot about myself that I'm unhappy about (and likely project). It's something I want to change, but it doesn't happen overnight. There are highs and lows, and it's hard not to compare yourself with others (specifically, what you do not have). I'm also on an uphill fight because I've been fighting tooth and nail to lose weight and improve my physical health. A lot of mental things are not that easy to change, my friend.

I know the feeling. I've come a long way too in that same time, seems like we started at about the same time. I'm not where I want to be either. But I do know that there's only one reason for that. My subconscious doesn't want this change to happen like with a light switch. That's the only reason why I'm not at my destination. Because it IS possible as long as you don't have any mental or physical illnesses. This combined with saying things like "it doesn't happen overnight" make sure it doesn't go that fast for you! Things are only as hard as you want them to be, be it subconsciously or on purpose. I have my ups and downs too, as my friend pointed out to night. I seem to have some levels of success sometimes and then drama appears and things turn to shit fast. I compare myself to others too, way too much sometimes actually (and my friends' opinions of me are equally unhealthily important) but focusing on what you don't have is a sure fire way to keep yourself down and is just another reason why progress is slow (but perhaps steady).

 

[ThanksVision]

Hey guys, I need some advice for a friend. Him and his girl were dating for over a year in high school before college this year and were practically inseparable. they both went to different colleges. She visited his school over the weekend and they talked it out for a while and ended with him breaking up with her. She was totally against it, but he felt that it was right. Now he's freaking out, he isn't sure if he made the right decision but he also thinks that it could have been the right decision. Any advice?

 

[Pastry]

Hey guys, I need some advice for a friend. Him and his girl were dating for over a year in high school before college this year and were practically inseparable. they both went to different colleges. She visited his school over the weekend and they talked it out for a while and ended with him breaking up with her. She was totally against it, but he felt that it was right. Now he's freaking out, he isn't sure if he made the right decision but he also thinks that it could have been the right decision. Any advice?

Probably the right decision. From my experience relationships like that didn't last long in college and usually ended with the people cheating on each other constantly.

 

[MTE]

Hi guys.

Not looking for advice, just thought I should post. It's been ages and I like to read positive stuff in this thread.
Been obsessing over my ex-almost-GF lately. Doing all those things you shouldn't. It hasn't stopped me from getting out there, or looking online at all. In fact, I had a meetup from online on Saturday. We didn't really hit it off, but it was great to use those muscles again.

Over the weekend I lined up a date for tomorrow with a pretty awesome woman. She's visiting/working for 2 months, here, before she returns to the USA. I'm in Australia.
She seems quite excited about it, as am I. Might be tough, if we do really hit it off, when she leaves, but I hope to just keep it in mind and just have fun

So progress made, and hopefully fun time ahead. Wish me luck

 

[Robot_Rave]

I'm just looking for some advice on how to cope with this situation:

My girlfriend told me the other day that she kissed a guy on the lips. I've known this girl for about 2 and a half months. She met him on a dating site (the same dating site we met on), she said that her status was set to "seeing someone" and she only wanted to be friends with this guy, somehow she ended up kissing him, she said she did it because she's been upset and stressed lately, she seems very apologetic about it and said it won't happen again and says she still wants to be with me. She's seeing him again today but says that she only wants to be friends with him and that nothing will happen. One part of me wants to forgive her and move on, the other part of me is feeling a bit angry and disappointed with her, so what should I do? Should I give her another chance? Should I forgive her?

 

[TheSchwab_7]

I'm just looking for some advice on how to cope with this situation:

My girlfriend told me the other day that she kissed a guy on the lips. I've known this girl for about 2 and a half months. She met him on a dating site (the same dating site we met on), she said that her status was set to "seeing someone" and she only wanted to be friends with this guy, somehow she ended up kissing him, she said she did it because she's been upset and stressed lately, she seems very apologetic about it and said it won't happen again and says she still wants to be with me. She's seeing him again today but says that she only wants to be friends with him and that nothing will happen. One part of me wants to forgive her and move on, the other part of me is feeling a bit angry and disappointed with her, so what should I do? Should I give her another chance? Should I forgive her?

Only 2.5 months? Bail out. I'm sure she only wants to be "friends" with this other guy.

 

[The Outsider]

"Well after my last relationship I don't want one for a long time"

I think I've been friend zoned. Fuck. What you guys think?

 

[Grizzlyjin]

I'm just looking for some advice on how to cope with this situation:

My girlfriend told me the other day that she kissed a guy on the lips. I've known this girl for about 2 and a half months. She met him on a dating site (the same dating site we met on), she said that her status was set to "seeing someone" and she only wanted to be friends with this guy, somehow she ended up kissing him, she said she did it because she's been upset and stressed lately, she seems very apologetic about it and said it won't happen again and says she still wants to be with me. She's seeing him again today but says that she only wants to be friends with him and that nothing will happen. One part of me wants to forgive her and move on, the other part of me is feeling a bit angry and disappointed with her, so what should I do? Should I give her another chance? Should I forgive her?

Haha, no. This has disaster written all over it. You will get played for a chump in this situation, especially considering she is going to hang out with this guy again. Bail out, man. Seriously.

 

[Fou-Lu]

"Well after my last relationship I don't want one for a long time"

I think I've been friend zoned. Fuck. What you guys think?

Girl says this to you then you probably have no chance.

 

[OrangeGrayBlue]

"Well after my last relationship I don't want one for a long time"

I think I've been friend zoned. Fuck. What you guys think?

Probably yes. She may be interested in a friends with benefits kind of thing, but I don't know enough details to say. In general, though, that excuse is a nice way of saying, "Not interested."

 

[The Outsider]

Girl says this to you then you probably have no chance.

Yeah, I'm getting that impression.

Probably yes. She may be interested in a friends with benefits kind of thing, but I don't know enough details to say. In general, though, that excuse is a nice way of saying, "Not interested."

Definitely not the former.

Well, shit. Time to go for broke, then bail out, I think.

 

[OrangeGrayBlue]

I'm just looking for some advice on how to cope with this situation:

My girlfriend told me the other day that she kissed a guy on the lips. I've known this girl for about 2 and a half months. She met him on a dating site (the same dating site we met on), she said that her status was set to "seeing someone" and she only wanted to be friends with this guy, somehow she ended up kissing him, she said she did it because she's been upset and stressed lately, she seems very apologetic about it and said it won't happen again and says she still wants to be with me. She's seeing him again today but says that she only wants to be friends with him and that nothing will happen. One part of me wants to forgive her and move on, the other part of me is feeling a bit angry and disappointed with her, so what should I do? Should I give her another chance? Should I forgive her?

I'm a strong believer that apologies are shown through a change in the behavior that's being apologized for, and not in simply saying that you're sorry.

She's telling you she's sorry yet continuing the behavior she's apologizing for. Stand up for yourself and let her know, at the very least, that she must cut all ties with him if she wants to continue a relationship with you. Personally, I would dump her and let her know that you're not a floor mat who she can give empty apologies to and then revert back to doing what she was apologizing for.


edit- maybe if we frame an analogous situation that doesn't dwell in the foggy realm of love it'll be easy to see how far in the wrong she is...

1) A child knows he's not supposed to eat cookies from the cookie jar before dinner.

2) He eats some cookies anyway, but becomes guilty and admits it to his mom.

3) To make his mistake okay, he says he won't eat cookies again, but does insist on being allowed to stand unusually close to the cookie jar in the future.


On what planet would you think that the kid's real intention isn't to eventually eat more cookies?

 

[Robot_Rave]

I'm a strong believer that apologies are shown through a change in the behavior that's being apologized for, and not in simply saying that you're sorry.

She's telling you she's sorry yet continuing the behavior she's apologizing for. Stand up for yourself and let her know, at the very least, that she must cut all ties with him if she wants to continue a relationship with you. Personally, I would dump her and let her know that you're not a floor mat who she can give empty apologies to and then revert back to doing what she was apologizing for.


edit- maybe if we frame an analogous situation that doesn't dwell in the foggy realm of love it'll be easy to see how far in the wrong she is...

1) A child knows he's not supposed to eat cookies from the cookie jar before dinner.

2) He eats some cookies anyway, but becomes guilty and admits it to his mom.

3) To make his mistake okay, he says he won't eat cookies again, but does insist on being allowed to stand unusually close to the cookie jar in the future.


On what planet would you think that the kid's real intention isn't to eventually eat more cookies?

Yeah you raise some good points, this is my first relationship ever so I'm not used to this sort of thing happening to me. I said to her yesterday that I'm ok with her hanging around him only as friends, because she's allowed to have male friends, but the more I think about it, I realise that she's had intimate contact with him, and I shouldn't allow her to continue hanging around with him because of that

 

[subversus]

hey people

when is the honeymoon phase of a relationship usually over for you ON THE AVERAGE? a few weeks, a few months, days, years?

 

[I'm an expert]

Yeah you raise some good points, this is my first relationship ever so I'm not used to this sort of thing happening to me. I said to her yesterday that I'm ok with her hanging around him only as friends, because she's allowed to have male friends, but the more I think about it, I realise that she's had intimate contact with him, and I shouldn't allow her to continue hanging around with him because of that

Allow isn't quite the right word.. but you do want to say to her - "Listen, I don't feel comfortable with you hanging out with that guy. If you want to continue this relationship you'll have to stop so we can work this out." Then it's simply her choice. If she agrees, great, work on the relationship. If she hesitates or gives any other response, you can do the math yourself. In these situations you have to be clear of your intentions, otherwise you'll get walked over more and more like you just did.

hey people

when is the honeymoon phase of a relationship usually over for you ON THE AVERAGE? a few weeks, a few months, days, years?

A few months I guess.. 2-5. Days/weeks sounds terribly short. =(

 

[Robot_Rave]

Allow isn't quite the right word.. but you do want to say to her - "Listen, I don't feel comfortable with you hanging out with that guy. If you want to continue this relationship you'll have to stop so we can work this out." Then it's simply her choice. If she agrees, great, work on the relationship. If she hesitates or gives any other response, you can do the math yourself. In these situations you have to be clear of your intentions, otherwise you'll get walked over more and more like you just did.

I think that's great advice, ok I'll say that to her, thanks