Both games are real-time with pause; it's a little different from Mass Effect in that when you pause the game, you can fully switch between all your characters and give them whatever commands you like, instead of only choosing skills to use - or at least that holds for the PC versions; I forget whether you can issue movement commands on the consoles. You can also set your characters up with a series of If->Then statements to automate some of the way they fight, kind of like FF12, although personally I turn them off immediately so I'm not sure how well they work.
Neither game is really an action RPG. The first game basically could never be confused for one, as commands you give tend to have a 0.5-1 second delay between issuing the command and having it executed, and the animations are janky and disconnected enough that it's pretty immediately obvious that all you're watching is a loose graphical representation of some numbers fighting.
The second game isn't really any different, but Bioware has very cleverly* put some effort into making the console version 'feel' like an action RPG by making you press A every time you want to attack instead of defaulting to a continuous auto-attack - the underlying mechanics are unchanged from a standard auto-attack, however. That, and commands you give tend to be carried out immediately, with animations that do a slightly better job at making it seem like what you see is actually what's happening under the hood.
For the first game, the PC version is definitely recommended if you've got the choice. It gives you a top-down isometric camera angle that is really helpful for coordinating your party's tactics, while still letting you zoom down to the over-the-shoulder perspective the console versions are locked into. On top of that, the console versions were ported mostly as an afterthought, and you can run into some pretty annoying performance issues.
On the second game, I'd still probably recommend the PC version, but it's a little closer. On the console side, it's almost a straight improvement - it performs and looks better than the first game, and the game's responsiveness is massively improved. The only sticking point is the auto-attack thing; there's still some confusion over it, but it's looking like you're going to be dealing with a cumbersome system, whether that involves mashing A to keep attacking, or choosing a specific 'auto-attack- option from a skill menu instead of being able to just toggle auto-attack on or off as the default.
On the other hand, the PC version loses the isometric camera from the first game, which is a
very unwelcome change; it doesn't make the console version
better or even more well-suited, but it definitely removes one of the nicer benefits of the PC version of the original game. Auto-attack, on the other hand, works properly: Click once, and your character will continue to attack until you issue another command. And then obviously it also enjoys the improved speed and responsiveness of the game.
I would say, bottom-line: If you want an Action RPG you're probably out of luck, but if you can make yourself not think too hard about it, the console version of DA2 kind of has the controls down. PC version is definitely preferred for the first game, but there's a less pronounced difference for the second one.
*(ham-handedly and ineffectually)
Edit: Just to keep plugging this, because goddamnit it should have been enabled when they released the demo,
anyone who was put off by the PC demo being a boring cakewalk should try it on Nightmare. It probably won't completely flip around your opinion on the game, but it at least gives you a better idea of how the game might play at a proper difficulty level (you select difficulty after the initial tutorial fight). Personally it took my opinion from, "This is just like DAO, a little better balanced but still kinda shitty" to "This is actually a whole hell of a lot better designed and more difficult than the beginning of DAO".