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[Messofanego]

What Not to Call Beautiful Women

In response to Lupita Nyong'o at the Oscars. She highlights some testimonies from Stuff Mom Never Told You So podcast listeners.

By definition of "exotic", you're saying they look or act out of the ordinary than from what group of people they are part of.

It really doesn't sound that good towards a person. Might have good intentions, but doesn't come across to the person on the receiving end. Thankfully, I haven't witnessed this but others can share their stories.

Been mentioned in places like Huffington Post.

Common examples of fetishising or exoticising:
I love [insert race]!

You're really pretty/handsome for a [insert race].

You're so well spoken! You don't sound [insert race].

(incidentally, name for the NeoGAF Black Culture podcast which you should give a listen).

Like, when complimenting someone, maybe not bring up their race too in relation to that? Simples.

 

[Napoleonthechimp]

By definition of "exotic", you're saying they look or act out of the ordinary than from what group of people they are part of.

God forbid people stand out from the crowd.

 

[Mariolee]

I told someone I was Indonesian once.

They called me exotic.

I didn't really know how to feel about that.

God forbid people stand out from the crowd.

Because of the color of their skin?

 

[RockTurtle]

ex·ot·ic
igˈzätik/
adjective
adjective: exotic
1.
originating in or characteristic of a distant foreign country.
"exotic birds"

attractive or striking because colorful or out of the ordinary.
"an exotic outfit"

at this point i think people are confusing teaching tact with someone more malevolent.

 

[TUSR]

Honestly, I don't think I've ever used this word to describe someone. Just doesn't seem right.

 

[MacNille]

People get offend by everything. It seems like they are looking for things to be offend by.

 

[Necromanti]

Honestly, I don't think I've ever used this word to describe someone. Just doesn't seem right.

I have seen it happen, but only towards Asian women. It's kind of creepy.

 

[Napoleonthechimp]

I don't recall calling someone exotic unless it was as a joke. So... I'm British and whenever I meet an American (woman) and she tells me she's from ______ small town I say: Really?! How exotic!

It gets a chuckle from them, but I've got enough sense to not say it someone who has undoubtedly heard it a million times before.

Because of the color of their skin?

I'm not following you down that road.

 

[sixteen-bit]

No shit.

 

[FreeMufasa]

People get offend by everything. It seems like they are looking for things to be offend by.

Innit!!!

Facking political correctness gone mad

 

[Jackpot]

ex·ot·ic
igˈzätik/
adjective
adjective: exotic
1.
originating in or characteristic of a distant foreign country.
"exotic birds"
synonyms: foreign, nonnative, tropical; More
foreign, faraway, far off, far-flung, distant
antonyms: native, familiar, nearby

attractive or striking because colorful or out of the ordinary.
"an exotic outfit"

Because the world only operates on literal definitions?

I've occasionally seen the odd hot Indian woman in a sari being told, "oooh, you're so exotic". Do you know what that really says: "you are a weird oddity in this area and/or my impression of you is defined entirely by your ethnicity".

 

[Log4Girlz]

I don't recall calling someone exotic unless it was as a joke. So... I'm British and whenever I meet an American (woman) and she tells me she's from ______ small town I say: Really?! How exotic!

And now you know it is inappropriate. I can only imagine the awkward laughter that followed.

 

[Coffee Dog]

This seems obviously not okay.

 

[ComputerMKII]

Edit: I think I misread the OP

 

[DECK'ARD]

Haven't heard anyone use it for that in a long time really.

 

[DoktorEvil]

I think people don't know how to use the word exotic in a sentence.

As far as a compliment, I'm not sure how I'd feel being called exotic for my ethnicity or skin color or what have you. It's not your everyday compliment, if its a compliment at all.

 

[Currygan]

oh for the love of fuck now

 

[nOoblet16]

I was with my female friends and this guy comes up and chats with us while we were smoking outside, and after a while into the conversation he made a remark that I am good looking and it was fine until the guy said "Oh no I mean it, he's good looking even by European standards". I just shook my head in disbelief. (I am North Indian)

 

[fertygo]

But man.. the word sounds cool.

 

[teruterubozu]

Isn't this an ancient PSA? Like don't call people sweetheart or hon?

 

[Coffee Dog]

I was with my female friends and this guy comes up and chats with us while we were smoking outside, and after a while into the conversation he made a remark that I am good looking and it was fine until the guy said "Oh no I mean it, he's good looking even by European standards". I just shook my head in disbelief. (I am North Indian)

hahaha, holy fuck, that's awful.

 

[Sub_Level]

I never saw that word as a compliment. More a descriptor. And in that sense a neutral term.

 

[cooljeanius]

How does that song Priyanka Chopra did with Pitbull figure into all of this?

 

[Kai Dracon]

I haven't heard this used in a long time. I can see why it's problematic. Mostly it comes across as "quaint". Like an old country saying from people who don't have experience outside their local culture.

 

[The Internet]

The girl in the gif is very odd looking. She scares me.

 

[Napoleonthechimp]

And now you know it is inappropriate. I can only imagine the awkward laughter that followed.

gtfo with that. It's just a ridiculous ice breaker to say to someone who is from a small town in middle america. You can easily tell when people aren't proud of where they're from (if they consider it to be unimpressive for example) so I exaggerate the response when they tell me.

Am I going to say it to someone who has brown skin/looks different from Mr or Mrs average Caucasian? Of course not. Because that'd be dumb as shit.

 

[EVOL 100%]

I wouldn't be offended by it but it would ring some serious alarm bells in my head if anybody actually said this in real life. It's just a really weird and awkward thing to say

 

[BadAss2961]

Overthinking a compliment.

People saying it just think the person is beautiful and unique, regardless of ethnicity.

 

[MIMIC]

I agree. Using the word "exotic" sounds like you're objectifying the thing you're talking about ....which is why I call food exotic

It just feels like the wrong word to use when describing a person. But that's just me.

 

[OnPoint]

Overthinking a compliment.

People saying it just think the person is beautiful and unique, regardless of ethnicity.

Yup.

 

[daycru]

Overthinking a compliment.

People saying it just think the person is beautiful and unique, regardless of ethnicity.

Aren't "beautiful" and "unique" on the banned words list too?

 

[toastyToast]

Exotic is more like, "you look out of the ordinary and you're hot/that adds to your hotness." rather than, "you look good for one of your people."

No idea where the second definition comes from.

 

[Brianimaniac]

Wow, she literally says that your intentions don't matter. Nothing matters more! Words are just a tool we use to attempt to describe our thoughts to others because we aren't mind-readers. It's the thoughts that are the important part.

 

[Ocaso]

I
Because of the color of their skin?

Or they could have unusual color eyes, distinctive features, a unique hair style or color. But hey, if we're going to read bad intentions into any comment regardless, then what can you do.

For the record, I've never called someone exotic, but I have heard it used to describe someone and always to highlight a positively perceived trait or traits.

Aren't "beautiful" and "unique" on the banned words list too?

I would hope so! Unique means that person is a statistical outlier, a weird anomaly, an fringe outcast, some sort of wacko and should be seen as super offensive regardless of intentions. Beautiful objectifies people and is totally inappropriate. I suggest we all limit ourselves to communicating objective facts so as to avoid offense. "You are a human being" is the safe compliment.

 

[BeatResetsTheWorld]

As a black male, if I heard it it would certainly sound weird (there's black guys everywhere in the US), but I wouldn't necessarily take it as something negative...it's more a reflection of their ignorance than a slight against me and, like others have said, being "different" doesn't always hold negative connotations

 

[jasonng]

Overthinking a compliment.

People saying it just think the person is beautiful and unique, regardless of ethnicity.

That's where you're wrong. It's used almost exclusively because of your different ethnicity.

 

[Currygan]

I agree. Using the word "exotic" sounds like you're objectifying the thing you're talking about ....which is why I call food exotic

It just feels like the wrong word to use when describing a person. But that's just me.

isn't any compliment based on physical appearance a form of objectification?

 

[OnPoint]

Exotic is more like, "you look out of the ordinary and you're hot/that adds to your hotness." rather than, "you look good for one of your people."

No idea where the second definition from.

People over-analyzing and looking for problems where there really aren't any is my guess.

Why bother saying anything to anyone anymore. This is where we're headed:

"Hello, this day seems good. How is it for you?"

"What do you mean by 'good'?"

 

[scogoth]

Your large mouth is exotic. I don't mean it as a compliment.

 

[cooljeanius]

isn't any compliment based on physical appearance a form of objectification?

We just had this thread: http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=873266

 

[Infinite]

Surprise it took people this long to realize that.

 

[BeatResetsTheWorld]

Your large mouth is exotic. I don't mean it as a compliment.

We get your point, but "exotic" is seldom used in the manner you just did

 

[studyguy]

Your large mouth is exotic. I don't mean it as a compliment.

I think it's because she's tipping her head back that it looks so large lol.

Also I don't care about the word, if someone pinned me as exotic I'd wonder if they were simply from a different country. It's a weird word to tag someone as but whatever man, if their intent is to compliment then I can't be that offended personally.

 

[Nachos]

Always, always, always, appreciate and compliment people based on what they have control of, rather than what they don't.

 

[jasonng]

People over-analyzing and looking for problems where there really aren't any is my guess.

Why bother saying anything to anyone anymore. This is where we're headed:

"Hello, this day seems good. How is it for you?"

"What do you mean by 'good'?"

Here's a question for you. Instead of calling someone "exotic", why not just call them "beautiful"?

 

[teruterubozu]

Always, always, always, appreciate and compliment people based on what they have control of, rather than what they don't.

Love your avatar!

 

[Angelus Errare]

I've never used "exotic" to describe or compliment a girl. Sounds like something a creeper would use.

 

[KrellRell]

God damn I shit like this. How about instead of categorizing compliments, look the person in the eyes who's giving it and you judge if they are being offensive or not. Stop listening to what the internet tells you.

 

[Brianimaniac]

Always, always, always, appreciate and compliment people based on what they have control of, rather than what they don't.

This is a way better rule than any of the shit people generally throw out. This should be a Commandment.

 

[OnPoint]

Here's a question for you. Instead of calling someone "exotic", why not just call them "beautiful"?

I don't call them either. I don't compliment people based on their physical appearance, as I find it's bad form.

But I think many people do comment based on physical appearances. And I don't think "exotic" is a bad thing to say to someone. I think it implies that they have something unique about them that is attractive. It does not have to be tied to race, in my opinion.