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FakeGAF 7: The Dark Thirst Rises

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Damnit Matt. Either I make really shitty jokes at night or you're crap at understanding them.

Like when I called it tough to love Ryan Gosling when Ryan Reynolds is on the table. Speaking of whom, Lars and the Real Girl is his only decent movie. Drive is as dull as Matt pretends Mad Max is.
Nooooooo

They're both great :c
 

marrec

Banned
Facebooks like "you should update your profile you haven't taken a picture in like 2 years what's wrong buddy?"

Screw you facebook I know what I'm doing.
 

Lucian Cat

Kissed a mod for a tag; liked it
There was this one time when a pudgy looking TSA agent opened my protein bar package because she wanted to see the macros.

Fuck Philly.

This cute hippy looking security guard at Adelaide Airport was talking to me about my crystal necklace while testing me for explosives. That was interesting. Haven't seen him since :(
 

Funky Papa

FUNK-Y-PPA-4
Hahaha, that's just too much.

Philly's airport and the vermin that populates it are infuriating enough I've seriously pondered inducing a chub through the pockets at the security check in case some aggro TSA idiot wants to get frisky for no goddamned reason.
 

Chuckie

Member
This cute hippy looking security guard at Adelaide Airport was talking to me about my crystal necklace while testing me for explosives. That was interesting. Haven't seen him since :(

This pretty female security guard at Jakarta airport rubbed all over me with a metal detector. I didn't think it weird until I saw her checking someone else...she didn't touch the person with that detector.

I felt slightly violated. Just slightly though.
 

Funky Papa

FUNK-Y-PPA-4
My best memory at Philly's airport was TSA opening my luggage, only to find a dozen of Tenga eggs and half a dozen of soft silicone dildos on the hefty side. That day they left the suitcase shockingly intact, other than that large note they slip during controls so you know they have snooped around.

Full disclaimer: I was on a business trip to Vegas back when the dollar was shit and my friends asked me to bring all that stuff for a bachelor+bachelorette party. The Tenga eggs were shockingly well received, btw.
 

Jobbs

Banned
Never been molested or hit on by a TSA agent.

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My best memory at Philly's airport was TSA opening my luggage, only to find a dozen of Tenga eggs and half a dozen of soft silicone dildos on the hefty side. That day they left the suitcase shockingly intact, other than that large note they slip during controls.

Full disclaimer: I was on a business trip to Vegas back when the dollar was shit and my friends asked me to bring all that stuff for a bachelor+bachelorette party.

I've beent through the philly airport multiple times without incident
 

Ceallach

Smells like fresh rosebuds
Details, you haven't been the armourer for a while, what's the new role?
I'm a technical representative for Phalanx weapon system at Midnight Atlantic Regional Maintenance Center.

Basically when other commanda can't fix their shit, they call MARMC and they dispatch me to troubleshoot for them.
 

Funky Papa

FUNK-Y-PPA-4
I'm a technical representative for Phalanx weapon system at Midnight Atlantic Regional Maintenance Center.

Basically when other commanda can't fix their shit, they call MARMC and they dispatch me to troubleshoot for them.

So how often do you get to BRRRRRRRRT irl?
 

Granadier

Is currently on Stage 1: Denial regarding the service game future
Philly's airport and the vermin that populates it are infuriating enough I've seriously pondered inducing a chub through the pockets at the security check in case some aggro TSA idiot wants to get frisky for no goddamned reason.

I went through the Philly airport last fall and didn't get groped once. Now I feel left out.
 
T

Transhuman

Unconfirmed Member
Full disclaimer: I was on a business trip to Vegas back when the dollar was shit and my friends asked me to bring all that stuff for a bachelor+bachelorette party. The Tenga eggs were shockingly well received, btw.

Hey, I'm sure we've all ran cheap vegas dildos across state lines to flip for profit before.
 

Ceallach

Smells like fresh rosebuds
...go on

*wants to know what else I'm potentially in for*

Ugh, I'm hungry but my stomach is so fucking cramped right now and I have no idea if I'll actually be able to keep any food down :/
Your period might become irregular and you may have overactive bartholn glands
 

Funky Papa

FUNK-Y-PPA-4
I went through the Philly airport last fall and didn't get groped once. Now I feel left out.

In all fairness, it's been two years since the last time I went through Philly, so things may have changed.

Still, my biggest complains are related to immigration lines and checks. Those are both huge and slow. It makes for a pretty awful airport if you need to connect two flights with a small layover.

Woman has a mental breakdown, pull out all of her teeth. #TheKnick

The wondrous advances of early 20th century medical "science".
 

FUME5

Member
I'm a technical representative for Phalanx weapon system at Midnight Atlantic Regional Maintenance Center.

Basically when other commanda can't fix their shit, they call MARMC and they dispatch me to troubleshoot for them.

So you get to troubleshoot your favorites?
 

FloatOn

Member
emailing the social worker about a support group and/or therapist today.

hopefully I'll also have time to call the gym and have the location switched to something closer to my house.
 

FloatOn

Member
Wait I'm lost, social worker? Support group?

the whole kidney failing thing. I have a whole team bruv.

doctor, nurses, nutritionist, social worker etc

the social worker is always on my case "are you depressed blah blah blah?"

and I'm like "I'm too busy to be depressed"

well, I'm only going to school half time in the summer and so I have more time to think about things and it's taking a toll. I got a real negative feeling creeping in, like I've gone from ironic semi-joking nihilism to random full on fuck everything nihilism and it isn't cool

a nasty side effect is that I'm randomly mean to people. I was never this way before the divorce and kidney failure.

Didn't even have to get on your case.

what can I say I'm on top of things!
 
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