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[Jobbs]

I wouldn't give or accept a substantial gift very early in a relationship. You don't want to put pressure on things. If I, for example, go on two dates with a girl then buy her a really expensive necklace what the hell is she supposed to do? If she's smart she'd reject the gift and maybe even dump me on the spot, because that would put pressure on the budding relationship. If she accepted the gift then she might feel like there are expectations on her to continue dating me or whatever and that's not appropriate.

So I also wouldn't base an initial meeting on something material and transactional

I think there is some degree of blame to be had on the recipient of the drink as well.

Again, I think it's disingenuous to pretend to be interested to receive things.

Who instigates this behavior is all very situational. It's to a lesser degree I'm sure but I'm certain that there are some female sharks out there too.

I'm reminded of the episode of master of none where Aziz Ansari takes that one girl out for dinner and she turns out to only be interested in the free food.

Again, I just don't see a problem. The only people stand to be "hurt" are those looking to make a transaction -- a douchebag. The only people they're taking advantage of are douchebags, who deserve to be taken advantage of.

If you want to get to know her then talk to her. If you want to ask her out then ask her out. Don't take out your stupid wallet unless you just want to do something nice for nothing in return.

 

[Transhuman]

Giving people gifts on daates is weird. Normal people just offer straight-up cash.

https://www.ohlala.com/us/

 

[AcridMeat]

Did someone say...AVRIL!?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ag7F5mKuwcE

Please no.

 

[Nerdkiller]

Please no.

 

[FloatOn]

Again, I just don't see a problem. The only people stand to be "hurt" are those looking to make a transaction -- a douchebag. The only people they're taking advantage of are douchebags, who deserve to be taken advantage of.

Nah, douchebags deserve to be ignored not manipulated.

Break the cycle

"When they go low, we go high" - M. Obama

Etc

 

[marrec]

Nah, douchebags deserve to be ignored not manipulated.

Break the cycle

"When they go low, we go high" - M. Obama

Etc

wait tho

 

[WhereAreMahDragonz]

Where the fuck is my burger

Cmon

 

[SolVanderlyn]

I smell a skunk outside. D:

 

[AcridMeat]

Where the fuck is my burger

Cmon

You just reminded me of my 360 avatar Jackie Chan with a BBQ with the caption "flippin burgs and durgs". I haven't seen that in years.

 

[FloatOn]

What would send a greater message:

Not accepting a free drink from a jerk expecting to get laid

Or

Accepting a drink from a jerk expecting to get laid, entertaining conversation from said jerk and then moving on with your night?

 

[marrec]

Where the fuck is my burger

Cmon

*said over a mouthfull of burger*

I dunno.

 

[EatChildren]

I smell a skunk outside. D:

As a filthy aussie, skunk stank is a mystery to me. Describe the musk, in detail. So I can taste it through words.

 

[FUME5]

Finally finished an ironman run in XCom 2, it only took 18 attempts...

 

[marrec]

As a filthy aussie, skunk stank is a mystery to me. Describe the musk, in detail. So I can taste it through words.

Dank af weed.

 

[Jobbs]

What would send a greater message:

Not accepting a free drink from a jerk expecting to get laid

Or

Accepting a drink from a jerk expecting to get laid, entertaining conversation from said jerk and then moving on with your night?

The second one involves free stuff, so I'd take that. I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.

 

[marrec]

The second one involves free stuff, so I'd take that. I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.

Why even entertain convo tho? Accept the drink and then ignore them.

 

[FloatOn]

The second one involves free stuff, so I'd take that. I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.

You do you

But there is, without doubt, an unfair bias at play here

 

[SolVanderlyn]

As a filthy aussie, skunk stank is a mystery to me. Describe the musk, in detail. So I can taste it through words.

Uhh.. hmm. Smells a bit like burning cabbage, without the smoky air to it. It's very pervasive, like someone smoking a bunch of weed right next to you, even if it's outside and all of your windows are closed. It doesn't smell bad, but it's not a pleasant smell, either.

 

[marrec]

You do you

But there is, without doubt, an unfair bias at play here

Alright, I haven't been paying attention at all, but what unfair bias?

 

[DrM]

Good morning

Another Monday, another 13 hours at work ahead of me

Oh, in July, I have made 223 hours at work. Normally, we do 160 hours each month

 

[Jobbs]

You do you

But there is, without doubt, an unfair bias at play here

yeah, men have it rough hahaha

 

[Pau]

Good morning

Another Monday, another 13 hours at work ahead of me

Oh, in July, I have made 223 hours at work. Normally, we do 160 hours each month

What's your job? D:

 

[FloatOn]

Alright, I haven't been paying attention at all, but what unfair bias?

I contend that it is shitty for guys to buy girls drinks expecting to get laid. It's equally shitty for girls to pretend to be interested so that they can get free drinks.

The bias here is that the girl is not at fault because the frequency of guys being sharks at bars is less than girls being exploitative at bars.

Bad behavior is bad behavior and no one gets a pass.

 

[DrM]

What's your job? D:

Worker in wholesale store/warehouse aka physical labor

of course I won't get paid for the extra hours, but I will use them instead of free days in September or when I finally quit this crazy house (probably this autumn)

 

[AcridMeat]

What would send a greater message:

Not accepting a free drink from a jerk expecting to get laid

Or

Accepting a drink from a jerk expecting to get laid, entertaining conversation from said jerk and then moving on with your night?

There should be no sympathy towards a dude. If he feels slighted maybe he takes it as a learning experience to maybe try a different approach. It's not on anyone else to coddle them for being an idiot.

Holy moly at this consistent defending of one of the stupidest cliche stereotypical games at picking up there is though.

edit: Defending is the wrong word, but putting a recipient in as much of the wrong is silly. If a guy gets played for a free drink, he either already knows that is a risk and goes for it anyway because that's all he knows or it works some of the time, and/or he doesn't give a fuck because it's one drink. If he's super immature, like I said it's a learning experience on life. No one else should have to teach him shit.

 

[marrec]

I contend that it is shitty for guys to buy girls drinks expecting to get laid. It's equally shitty for girls to pretend to be interested so that they can get free drinks.

The bias here is that the girl is not at fault because the frequency of guys being sharks at bars is less than girls being exploitative at bars.

Bad behavior is bad behavior and no one gets a pass.

No this is dumb.

A girl accepting a drink, regardless of intention, cannot be expected to reciprocate anything based on what is a gift. It's that simple. There is no moral imperative imposed on anyone for accepting a gift.

The man, in this rather distasteful instance, is essentially gambling. I'm sure you've all been over this but that's my opinion.

 

[FloatOn]

I'm not defending the person buying the drink.

I'm also not condoning feigning interest to receive free things.

No this is dumb.

A girl accepting a drink, regardless of intention, cannot be expected to reciprocate anything based on what is a gift. It's that simple. There is no moral imperative imposed on anyone for accepting a gift.

The man, in this rather distasteful instance, is essentially gambling. I'm sure you've all been over this but that's my opinion.

Accepting the drink isn't the problem.

The problem is pretending to be interested in the person to get said free drink.

 

[Pau]

Worker in wholesale store/warehouse aka physical labor

of course I won't get paid for the extra hours, but I will use them instead of free days in September or when I finally quit this crazy house (probably this autumn)

13 hours of physical labor does not sound fun. I wish you the best in finding another job when you quit!

 

[AcridMeat]

Accepting the drink isn't the problem.

The problem is pretending to be interested in the person to get said free drink.

But a lot of the time a woman isn't even showing interest before being offered the drink.

Like come on.

 

[FloatOn]

But a lot of the time a woman isn't even showing interest before being offered the drink.

Like come on.

Much better than pretending to be available so someone will buy me something :O

^^^

 

[liliththepale]

But a lot of the time a woman isn't even showing interest before being offered the drink.

Like come on.

You and he might draw the line at a different place. The way I originally phrased it was "pretending to be available" so I can see how he got that interpretation. That doesn't mean I feign interest, nor that I think feigning interest is altogether bad.

 

[SolVanderlyn]

Buying someone a drink is a general expression of goodwill in many cultures regardless of gender

 

[Jobbs]

^^^

I see no problem with it. If people are offering free stuff I'm taking it.

But we're going around in circles here.

 

[FloatOn]

I see no problem with it. If people are offering free stuff I'm taking it.

But we're going around in circles here.

If someone wants to give you something that's fine.

If you manipulate them into giving you something it is not fine.

 

[Jobbs]

If someone wants to give you something that's fine.

If you manipulate them into giving you something it is not fine.

in defense of "douchebags having their feelings hurt because they 'wasted' their money" is a really weird hill to die on man

 

[FloatOn]

in defense of "douchebags having their feelings hurt because they 'wasted' their money" is a really weird hill to die on man

I wonder if you'd feel the same if the genders were switched here.

Your objectivity is suspect

 

[WhereAreMahDragonz]

I'm not defending the person buying the drink.

I'm also not condoning feigning interest to receive free things.

but then, you go on to say...

Accepting the drink isn't the problem.

The problem is pretending to be interested in the person to get said free drink.

isn't that essentially the same thing? so are you for it or not?

 

[Fall Into The GAF]

The free things I like are those weird mystery meat cubes on toothpicks they give out at the grocery store. It's like hell yeah haven't eaten all day and all this food is just driving the point home.

 

[FloatOn]

but then, you go on to say...



isn't that essentially the same thing? so are you for it or not?

I don't understand why this is so confusing.

I'm anti playing games/manipulation

Why can't someone actually be interested and why can't the person buying the drink have zero expectations of reciprocation?

 

[Jobbs]

I wonder if you'd feel the same if the genders were switched here.

Your objectivity is suspect

This is just becoming ridiculous, but yeah, I'd feel exactly the same

 

[Pancake Mix]

Pretending to act interested in order to get free stuff is pretty scummy, but whatever. On the list of scummy things to do it's far from the top 10, but it's still scummy. I'm not really judging any of you ladies (and for such a tactic to work you usually have to be a lady, let's face it) for doing it, but it's not a great look.

 

[WhereAreMahDragonz]

I don't understand why this is so confusing.

I'm anti playing games/manipulation

Why can't someone actually be interested and why can't the person buying the drink have zero expectations of reciprocation?

you said that you don't condone feigning interest to receive free things, but then yet you have a problem with manipulation. aren't they one and the same?

 

[FloatOn]

I feel like I've stepped into some bizzaro land where suddenly being fake is okay

Am I in the upside down?

you said that you don't condone feigning interest to receive free things, but then yet you have a problem with manipulation. aren't they one and the same?

Yes. That's my point, both behaviors are whack.

Dudes expecting sex for giving gifts and girls faking interest to get gifts.

 

[Pancake Mix]

I feel like I've stepped into some bizzaro land where suddenly being fake is okay

Am I in the upside down?

No way mate, being a phony sucks. Also, you can trust me, I'm the official minister of keeping it real™

#Teamreal

 

[WhereAreMahDragonz]

I feel like I've stepped into some bizzaro land where suddenly being fake is okay

Am I in the upside down?

that doesn't answer my question

 

[AcridMeat]

Float you're either entirely misinterpreting posts, or you're straight up ignoring them.

Either way stop.

Let's talk about how good a pianist JB is.

 

[Vazra]

Did anyone tried the tofu? I thought the tofu was lovely.

 

[Pancake Mix]

Did anyone tried the tofu? I thought the tofu was lovely.

Do I dare look that up on Urban Dictionary?

Edit: Wait what?!

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=tofu&defid=2746564

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=tofu&defid=7783508

I'm not defending douchebags

I'm encouraging being authentic

No, you're right, there's a distinction between not being interested or changing your mind, and just leeching someone who has their heart set on you for free stuff.

 

[FloatOn]

in defense of "douchebags having their feelings hurt because they 'wasted' their money" is a really weird hill to die on man

I'm not defending douchebags

I'm encouraging being authentic

 

[Ceallach]

Bar guys are stupid. Fuck em, take their money.