Support NeoGAF

[Broder Salsa]

I wonder if Hazard regrets his, ahem, haphazard decision to sign with Chelsea rather than City. Should have stuck with his initial plan.

 

[Scum]

Cech the only Chelsea player to show for the press.

That's poor.

What happened to RDM then? Did he show up?

 

[Zabojnik]

You gotta stick to the hope, mang. Shaktar beating Juve isn't unthinkable.

It really isn't. Tonight was part 1, two weeks from now part 2 awaits us. However it may end, if we are to go out, let us go out in style. That's all I ask.

JUVEEEEERRRRNNNNNNNNNN!!!

 

[Feorax]

Cech the only Chelsea player to show for the press.

That's poor.

Can't fault how much Cech cares about that club. Got to be admired.

 

[Meier]

Whether you finish with 0 points or 10 matters not if you don't go through. We saw that last year. Chelsea is in a tumultuous position -- he would have been smart to not let a fluke CL win decide his future. I would hate to play for a club chaired by Roman.

 

[AndresON777]

Of course it's risky and I'm far from confident it will happen. But they are so much in front that they have pretty much won their own league, so shouldn't have to play any reserves or have any reason not to be motivated against a Juve team at home.



Well Italians knows how it feels. That Sweden - Denmark in 2004.

wow you think Shaktar wont get paid to help Juve?

 

[elsk]

They are on even points right now too but Valencia is still first. Probably Goal Difference.

Not, we're first. In CL the ties are resolved via head-to-head.

 

[Scum]

I wonder what the odds are for RDM & Hughes to leave and Pep & 'Arry to get a job by Dec will be...?

 

[AndresON777]

It really isn't. Tonight was part 1, two weeks from now part 2 awaits us. However it may end, if we are to go out, let us go out in style. That's all I ask.

JUVEEEEERRRRNNNNNNNNNN!!!

Don't worry you guys will qualify 2nd ahead of Shaktar and you will get Barca. We will crush your shitty team that has no forwards.

 

[FootballFan]

Not, we're first. In CL the ties are resolved via head-to-head.

!

Well don't blame me, blame soccernet and goal.com :lol

:lol stop being so cocky Andres.

 

[Steverulez]

I wonder what the odds are for RDM & Hughes to leave and Pep & 'Arry to get a job by Dec will be...?

I don't personally see why Pep would want to join us. We'll only sack him after we go out of the Europa League.

 

[Vivalaraza]

I wonder if Hazard regrets his, ahem, haphazard decision to sign with Chelsea rather than City. Should have stuck with his initial plan.

I'm sure in his initial initial plan as a boy in Belgium, City didn't even register.

 

[Broder Salsa]

Whether you finish with 0 points or 10 matters not if you don't go through. We saw that last year. Chelsea is in a tumultuous position -- he would have been smart to not let a fluke CL win decide his future. I would hate to play for a club chaired by Roman.

I would love that, the players also always seems to love Roman, he even convinced Hazard with his plan for the future. A fluke CL season? You gotta be kidding me. Quarter-finals the year before and was in another final in 2008, might as well call City winning premier league a fluke season. Don't forget you have far from re-won premier league just because you are a few points in front right now.

 

[Scum]

I don't personally see why Pep would want to join us. We'll only sack him after we go out of the Europa League.

I personally think Pep should just go back to Barca. Chelsea would have been better off with van Gaal. ¬_¬

 

[dc89]

According to the Telephraph City's owners are interested in buying a New York based MLS franchise.

 

[Zabojnik]

Don't worry you guys will qualify 2nd ahead of Shaktar and you will get Barca. We will crush your shitty team that has no forwards.

Come at us, Barca bros. <3

 

[Fry]

Anyone from Germany or whoever has a powerful proxy could download this video in 720p and send to me?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRQPBckoqGk

:3

 

[Vivalaraza]

According to the Telephraph City's owners are interested in buying a New York based MLS franchise.

Cosmos!

 

[dc89]

I wonder if Hazard regrets his, ahem, haphazard decision to sign with Chelsea rather than City. Should have stuck with his initial plan.

Even Devante Cole has laughed at Chelsea tonight.

"LOL Chelsea" https://twitter.com/DevanteeeCole/status/271014035141578752

Cosmos!

:O would be so cool!

 

[elsk]

According to the Telephraph City's owners are interested in buying a New York based MLS franchise.

Cosmos, baby!
They really have that amount of money to waste in two teams? Wow... world is a fucking shit unfair place. Fuck the sheikhs

 

[Timurid]

Come at us, Barca bros. <3

I would love to see juve beat barca just because all those farca fans can stfu!!!!

 

[Vivalaraza]

Fergie got over tonight's loss pretty quickly. Unsurprisingly, a scarlet coloured liquid was involved.

 

[Sage00]

I was watching a piece on the BBC News website and saw this headless body in a wheelchair. What the fuck.

 

[Carbonox]

I was watching a piece on the BBC News website and saw this headless body in a wheelchair. What the fuck.

:lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol

 

[The Atticus]

I was watching a piece on the BBC News website and saw this headless body in a wheelchair. What the fuck.

Maybe the head is under the sheet.

 

[bud]

Even Devante Cole has laughed at Chelsea tonight.

"LOL Chelsea" https://twitter.com/DevanteeeCole/status/271014035141578752

... who?

 

[Wilbur]

Maybe the head is under the sheet.

maybe you dont really know until they tell you for sure

 

[Fry]

... who?

Highly rated 16 year old striker at MCFC, bro. How can you not know?!

 

[The Atticus]

maybe you dont really know until they tell you for sure

Maybe

 

[Zabojnik]

I would love to see juve beat barca just because all those farca fans can stfu!!!!

Damn, 'tis truly is a night to remember. We'll still destroy you Cows in the derby, though.

 

[Vivalaraza]

Highly rated 16 year old striker at MCFC, bro. How can you not know?!

I think you will find he plays for MCFC EDS, to be precise.

 

[Broder Salsa]

I think you will find he plays for MCFC EDS, to be precise.

His father must be proud.

 

[AndresON777]

I would love to see juve beat barca just because all those farca fans can stfu!!!!

Torino sucks:

 

[Meier]

A fluke CL season? You gotta be kidding me. Quarter-finals the year before and was in another final in 2008, might as well call City winning premier league a fluke season.

I don't think the entire run was a fluke necessarily, but the win over Bayern definitely was. Hazard was signing with City by all accounts until the win in the final by Chelsea.

 

[Vivalaraza]

I don't think the entire run was a fluke necessarily, but the win over Bayern definitely was. Hazard was signing with City by all accounts until the win in the final by Chelsea.

In the days before he signed for Chelsea there were alot of stories he was going to sign for United whcih Fergie kind of alluded to also.

Anyhow, I really doubt he regrets his choice. I saw him a week or so back in London, he looked very happy.

 

[Milchmonster]

I don't think the entire run was a fluke necessarily, but the win over Bayern definitely was. Hazard was signing with City by all accounts until the win in the final by Chelsea.

You know that because Hazard didn't enjoy the attention and clearly stated where he wanted to go before it was official, right?

 

[Arnie]

Bild reports that Liverpool wants Großkreutz.

That doesn't even make sense lol

Where does he play?

(I mean can he play as part of a front three?)

 

[Broder Salsa]

Hazard was signing with City by all accounts until the win in the final by Chelsea.

I wouldn't be so sure of that, especially with United sniffing around. But clearly he would not go to a club that wasn't going to play CL, which made it pretty smart to wait for CL to be done to make a decision. Chelsea challenging to win CL has happened for years, that is not a fluke at all, City not being able to get out of the group stage however seems to become a trend, this year being completely hopeless.

If you think he made his decision just because of Chelsea winning CL you are crazy. Roman convinced him that the project they are trying to set up at Chelsea was a good one worth going to.

 

[Freewheelin']

Where does he play?

(I mean can he play as part of a front three?)

According to Fifa (lol) he can play in RM, LM, CM, and LB

 

[Milchmonster]

Where does he play?

(I mean can he play as part of a front three?)

Well, on paper he's playing as LW/RW for us but our wingers are more defensive minded, not the ones you see in a 4-3-3. He's not the guy to shine in attack, the typical hard worker.

I seriously doubt he'll go, anyway. If we offer him a new contract, he'll sign it. And it looks like we will, he was great in the last few weeks. And Perisic is rather shit and will probably leave, don't think we'll sell two wingers.

 

[Arnie]

According to Fifa (lol) he can play in RM, LM, CM, and LB

I almost feel less clear on where he can play than when I started. I'd imagine any interest would entail him slotting him either side of Suarez, I want to know if he can do that. Him being able to play left back is also a plus once the Lord of Assists is out the door.

Well, on paper he's playing as LW/RW for us but our wingers are more defensive minded, not the ones you see in a 4-3-3. He's not the guy to shine in attack, the typical hard worker.

I seriously doubt he'll go, anyway. If we offer him a new contract, he'll sign it. And it looks like we will, he was great in the last few weeks. And Perisic is rather shit and will probably leave, don't think we'll sell two wingers.

Ok, thanks for the information.

I don't doubt he'd rather stay at Dortmund, a move to Liverpool doesn't really make much sense to be honest. A workhorse winger is something we're after though following the sale of Kuyt, and our wing backs are very involved in our attacking play (Enrique, Johnson), so he does sound like he'd fit into the style.

Hate nothing stories like this though. We'll end up buying Sturridge for £15 million.

 

[Timurid]

Damn, 'tis truly is a night to remember. We'll still destroy you Cows in the derby, though.

I can't wait to see juve gaf coward away for a week again!

Torino sucks:

I don't talk to minnows! Go win the serie a 5 in a row then come back to me. &#12619;&#12619;&#12619;&#12619;&#12619;&#12619;&#12619;&#12619;

 

[Canis lupus]

Holy shit Galatasaray won against ManU!!!

 

[Vivalaraza]

Sometimes when Cleggy starts posting transfer rumours I look back to last summer and think about how we were close to dropping £30m on Hazard or Moura and tell myself we still have that £30m and that we'll spend it on a really good CM.

Then I catch myself and throw darts at a picture of Ryan Giggs

 

[Canis lupus]

How did Galatasaray lose from Braga in the first round, I hope we win from them and finish 2nd in the group.

 

[GorillaJu]

WILBURYS ROUND UP OF CHAMPIONS LEAGUE GAMES I GENUINELY DIDNT WATCH BECAUSE IM NOT A TRUE FAN AND INSTEAD WENT TO THE CINEMA. GO SEE ARGO GUYS IT HAS THE FINEST COLLECTION OF BUSHY HAIR AND OVERSIZED SPECTACLES OUTSIDE OF 'DEIDRE BARLOW'S ANAL SURPRISE'

BENFICA 2 -1 CELTIC

The lions from glasgow fall in lisbon as they show that their beating of uefa super cup winners Barcelona in the last round was a fluke and they are indeed as shit as everything else from Scotland. Two goals from the portuguese mean that they are in a position to either qualify or go out. One goal from the scotsmen mean they are in a similar position. It would be fair to say that Benfica deserved the win because they scored twice and Celtic only scored once and obviously we all know that it means that Benfica are twice as good as Celtic but that then means that they are four times as good as Barcelona and I think it means they're like 11.7 times better than Spartak

GALATASARAY 1 -0 MANCHESTER UNITED

Manchester United fall prey to a turkish prison trick and get ambushed up the arse by Burutttk Yilmazsz. Sir Alex Ferguson could do nothing but watch as his young charges Michael Carrick and the others went down to Galatasaray in their back yard. Welcome to hell was the focus of the pre match commentary but on this showing it was more like welcome to Istanbul because as we all know, Galatasaray's stadium is in Istanbul and it would be very difficult to attain planning permits for a seated sporting arena in hell

JUVENTUS 3 - 0 CHELSEA

The only thing that's more plastic than Chelsea is tupperware, and it seems that they're going to need a bunch of it so they can bring a packed lunch with them on their travels to the Eurpoa League. It is not a bad competition of course and sometimes it attracts teams with the strength of Manchester United and for the second year in a row Carlos Tevez. Juventuss's goals were scored by Fabio Quagsire and Arturo Vidal and Sebastian Giovinco but really we know that because the first two scorers are quite dark, it wasn't just a victory for Juventus but for all the people that hate John Terry everywhere.

BATE BORISOV 0 - 2 LILLE

Too lille too late for the plucky gallic underdogs from France as they master bate but blow their load far longer than it took me when I was a virgin in europe. Having said that I think Lille were in the Champions league last year as well so my joke doesn't really work. It doesnt matter anyway because Lille arent good enough on current form to overcome the mathematical impossibility and go through despite the win against Bate Borisov. If they were managed by notorious scheme Antionio Conte then perhaps they would find themselves in the next round of the champions league.

SPARTAK MOSCOW 0 - 3 BARCELONA

Spartak moscow home now as their european adventure comes to an end at the hand of the Great Catalan nation of Barcelona. Lionel Messi scores two in honour of a dearly departed feline friend (<3) and the russians are left to soak their small pathetic nipples in vodka and then potentially bring back communism in a big way because if everyone is equal then messi would not have been allowed to take all those drugs he did.

CFR CLUJ 3 - 1 BRAGA

The romanians finally have a Cluj as they bring swagga against the Braga to win 3-1 in the deepest darkest reserves of Romania. They scored three times to send the Portuguese back to Portugal licking their wounds and bemoaning the existence of Javier Hernandez. Hey chelsea fans remember javier hernandez? he scored that offside goal against you but even though he's mexican he probably isn't dark enough to warrant the hatred against John Terry.

NORDSJELLY 2 - 5 SHAKHTAR DONESK

Shakhtar donesk any questions when they come to town and the answer to the questions they dont ask is 'yes yes you can indeed conquer the might of Denmark's greatest team'. Three goals by adriano and two by Will.I.An meant that they were doing the samba all night against a team so limp they might as well have been the fucking pastries that are teh only reason people care about Denmark anymore. A consolation goal wasn't enough for Nordsjaelly to win and another consolation goal also wasn't enough for them to also win.

VALENCIA 1 - 1 BAYERN MUNICH

fuck bayern

This is better than Duncan Jenkins. :lol good write up Cuntbury

 

[Canis lupus]

Welcome to hell! ;D

 

[Broder Salsa]

Welcome to hell! ;D

That is pretty hilarious. Galatasarays football stadiums does even pretty often look like hell.

 

[Clegg]

Sometimes when Cleggy starts posting transfer rumours I look back to last summer and think about how we were close to dropping £30m on Hazard or Moura and tell myself we still have that £30m and that we'll spend it on a really good CM.

Then I catch myself and throw darts at a picture of Ryan Giggs

SAF is happy with Ashley Young.

That £30m is long gone btw.

 

[RaGe_pt]

WILBURYS ROUND UP OF CHAMPIONS LEAGUE GAMES I GENUINELY DIDNT WATCH BECAUSE IM NOT A TRUE FAN AND INSTEAD WENT TO THE CINEMA. GO SEE ARGO GUYS IT HAS THE FINEST COLLECTION OF BUSHY HAIR AND OVERSIZED SPECTACLES OUTSIDE OF 'DEIDRE BARLOW'S ANAL SURPRISE'

BENFICA 2 -1 CELTIC

The lions from glasgow fall in lisbon as they show that their beating of uefa super cup winners Barcelona in the last round was a fluke and they are indeed as shit as everything else from Scotland. Two goals from the portuguese mean that they are in a position to either qualify or go out. One goal from the scotsmen mean they are in a similar position. It would be fair to say that Benfica deserved the win because they scored twice and Celtic only scored once and obviously we all know that it means that Benfica are twice as good as Celtic but that then means that they are four times as good as Barcelona and I think it means they're like 11.7 times better than Spartak

GALATASARAY 1 -0 MANCHESTER UNITED

Manchester United fall prey to a turkish prison trick and get ambushed up the arse by Burutttk Yilmazsz. Sir Alex Ferguson could do nothing but watch as his young charges Michael Carrick and the others went down to Galatasaray in their back yard. Welcome to hell was the focus of the pre match commentary but on this showing it was more like welcome to Istanbul because as we all know, Galatasaray's stadium is in Istanbul and it would be very difficult to attain planning permits for a seated sporting arena in hell

JUVENTUS 3 - 0 CHELSEA

The only thing that's more plastic than Chelsea is tupperware, and it seems that they're going to need a bunch of it so they can bring a packed lunch with them on their travels to the Eurpoa League. It is not a bad competition of course and sometimes it attracts teams with the strength of Manchester United and for the second year in a row Carlos Tevez. Juventuss's goals were scored by Fabio Quagsire and Arturo Vidal and Sebastian Giovinco but really we know that because the first two scorers are quite dark, it wasn't just a victory for Juventus but for all the people that hate John Terry everywhere.

BATE BORISOV 0 - 2 LILLE

Too lille too late for the plucky gallic underdogs from France as they master bate but blow their load far longer than it took me when I was a virgin in europe. Having said that I think Lille were in the Champions league last year as well so my joke doesn't really work. It doesnt matter anyway because Lille arent good enough on current form to overcome the mathematical impossibility and go through despite the win against Bate Borisov. If they were managed by notorious scheme Antionio Conte then perhaps they would find themselves in the next round of the champions league.

SPARTAK MOSCOW 0 - 3 BARCELONA

Spartak moscow home now as their european adventure comes to an end at the hand of the Great Catalan nation of Barcelona. Lionel Messi scores two in honour of a dearly departed feline friend (<3) and the russians are left to soak their small pathetic nipples in vodka and then potentially bring back communism in a big way because if everyone is equal then messi would not have been allowed to take all those drugs he did.

CFR CLUJ 3 - 1 BRAGA

The romanians finally have a Cluj as they bring swagga against the Braga to win 3-1 in the deepest darkest reserves of Romania. They scored three times to send the Portuguese back to Portugal licking their wounds and bemoaning the existence of Javier Hernandez. Hey chelsea fans remember javier hernandez? he scored that offside goal against you but even though he's mexican he probably isn't dark enough to warrant the hatred against John Terry.

NORDSJELLY 2 - 5 SHAKHTAR DONESK

Shakhtar donesk any questions when they come to town and the answer to the questions they dont ask is 'yes yes you can indeed conquer the might of Denmark's greatest team'. Three goals by adriano and two by Will.I.An meant that they were doing the samba all night against a team so limp they might as well have been the fucking pastries that are teh only reason people care about Denmark anymore. A consolation goal wasn't enough for Nordsjaelly to win and another consolation goal also wasn't enough for them to also win.

VALENCIA 1 - 1 BAYERN MUNICH

fuck bayern

I'm dying here! :lol