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[Yurt]

 

[Lightning]

No, he thinks I do.

I probably do. He's a tit, he's quite good, he gives the numpties hope.

Ah. That makes more sense.

 

[Clegg]

I everyone ready for Eurovision?

 

[Broder Salsa]

I everyone ready for Eurovision?

The worst tv has to offer.

 

[Baconsaurus Rex]

I everyone ready for Eurovision?

Anouk is going to kick ass

 

[Gareth Bale]

Haagen Dazs 2 for £6 at Coop. I've seen better deals, but it might be necessary for tonight.

 

[Freewheelin']

When is the CL final? This Saturday, or next? Usually it's a week after the EL final, isn't it?

 

[LabouredSubterfuge]

There is a concerted attempt by the powers that be in this country to oust Suarez, but it's got nowt to do with Ferguson.

Oh God :lol

 

[Koko]

When is the CL final? This Saturday, or next? Usually it's a week after the EL final, isn't it?

Next weekend (the 25th)

 

[bjaelke]

I everyone ready for Eurovision?

Apparently we're huge favourites to win and can't afford to host it next year. It's a recipe for disaster. Consider me ready.

 

[Baconsaurus Rex]

Apparently we're huge favourites to win and can't afford to host it next year. It's a recipe for disaster. Consider me ready.

Is Greece taking part? Because Greece should win it for that reason alone

 

[Kenka]

Switzerland to win the Euro(vision) bitches.

 

[Linius]

Eurovision is terrible. It has nothing to do with music

 

[Salazar]

http://jobs.thefacareers.com/jobs_apply/vacancies/164/performance_analyst_assistants/

The Football Association Performance Analysis Unit, based at St Georges Park, are looking to recruit three Performance Analyst Assistants to join their expanding team. The unit has a broad remit for the Football Association, including performance analysis support for the various England representative teams, delivery of content into coach education and the provision of analytical support for visiting teams and organisations at St Georges Park.

The successful candidates, who will be employed on two year fixed contracts, will support the analysis team across this remit. Each successful candidate will be responsible for performance analysis support to select England youth, womens, disability or futsal teams, including the generation of analytical content on England performance and on future opponents. The varied work schedule will also include the completion of match analysis studies and the provision of analysis resources to support the FA coach education programme at all levels.

Person Specification (Essential):
A qualification at degree level (or equivalent) in sports science, or equivalent related to coaching science, performance analysis, statistics or education.
Excellent knowledge of the game of football and the requirments of international football.
Experience in the provision of performance analysis services to elite sports teams.
Excellent knowledge and proficiency in the use of sports ananlysis systems and other relevant technologies.
Ability to engage with players and coaches to develop learning and performance through analysis.
Deliver high quality performance analysis outputs in time pressured situations.
Effective communication and presentation skills.
Excellent time management, planning and organisational skills
Able to work effectively as part of a team.
Willingness to work flexible hours, including weekends and evenings
Willingness to travel extensively
Full driving license
Person Specification (Desirable):
Coaching qualifications
Knowledge and proficiency in software applications related to graphic design, document creation and presentations
Knowledge and proficiency in analytics and analytics-related software including spreadsheets, data visualisation and infographics.

Salary: £11,300 pa

:lol

 

[The_Hitcher89]

http://jobs.thefacareers.com/jobs_apply/vacancies/164/performance_analyst_assistants/





:lol

That sounds like the kin of job you'd need to spend 4 years at Uni for, and 2 years of experience in the field. For a lower salary than I get at the bottom of the ladder at Sainsburys

 

[Arnie]

Haagen Dazs 2 for £6 at Coop. I've seen better deals, but it might be necessary for tonight.

Don't think I'll be home until 8ish, and then I'll need something stronger.

http://jobs.thefacareers.com/jobs_apply/vacancies/164/performance_analyst_assistants/
:lol

Baffled as to how this isn't illegal.

 

[Salazar]

Baffled as to how this isn't illegal.

Couple of lazy spelling mistakes in the criteria, and a fuckin derisory amount of money.

Sums the FA up, really.

sportingintelligence ‏@sportingintel 15m
That FA job (last tweet) at 40hrs a week for 48 weeks a year works out at £5.88 an hour. Or 31p an hour BELOW current the minimum wage!

Is 35 hours a week, tho.

 

[Arnie]

Couple of lazy spelling mistakes in the criteria

Person who wrote the description was probably plucked straight out of prison and paid in fresh underwear.

 

[Salazar]

Person who wrote the description was probably plucked straight out of prison and paid in fresh underwear.

Worth it, though, for the opportunity to give Henderson's passing stats a little bump

A determined and surreptitious few months in that job could see Spearing in an England kit.

 

[LabouredSubterfuge]

Person who wrote the description was probably plucked straight out of prison and paid in fresh underwear.

Nah probably written by Bernstein himself.

Remember speaking to a guy that had meetings with head figures at the FA and said "my overriding feeling afterwards was that the people who run the FA are not intelligent human beings".

 

[The_Hitcher89]

Nah probably written by Bernstein himself.

Remember speaking to a guy that had meetings with head figures at the FA and said "my overriding feeling afterwards was that the people who run the FA are not intelligent human beings".

Is he related to Hodgson? They're so alike

 

[Feorax]

So what do we think happens to Torres next season?

Mou won't want him sulking around the place. He'll bring in a new CF almost certainly (Rooney?)

Can't see him going back to Atletico. His wages are too high and Atletico seem to want the next big thing rather than sentimentality.

He fits the profile of what we want in a striker for the squad, but age is against him and I suspect too many bridges burnt. His ego probably won't have him as a squad llayer anyway. Also wages.

Spurs and Arsenal are possibilities, but again, wages. He also doesn't really have the reputation as a capable top-4 striker anymore.

His career is basically over at this point, I can't see him going anywhere that he could win something worthwhile to him, which at 29 is extremely sad.

 

[Salazar]

(Rooney?)

A prudent man would not bash his own testicles to a paste with his bare hands.

That is, more or less, an appropriately forceful metaphor for the act of selling Wayne Rooney, who still has a comfortable wedge of his contract left, to a half-decent English club.

It is unlikely.

 

[Shatner's Bassoon]

So what do we think happens to Torres next season?

Mou won't want him sulking around the place. He'll bring in a new CF almost certainly (Rooney?)

Can't see him going back to Atletico. His wages are too high and Atletico seem to want the next big thing rather than sentimentality.

He fits the profile of what we want in a striker for the squad, but age is against him and I suspect too many bridges burnt. His ego probably won't have him as a squad llayer anyway. Also wages.

Spurs and Arsenal are possibilities, but again, wages. He also doesn't really have the reputation as a capable top-4 striker anymore.

His career is basically over at this point, I can't see him going anywhere that he could win something worthwhile to him, which at 29 is extremely sad.

Germany, France or Russia awaits. Then again you did mention winning something worthwhile, so maybe not.

 

[sohois]

So what do we think happens to Torres next season?

Mou won't want him sulking around the place. He'll bring in a new CF almost certainly (Rooney?)

Can't see him going back to Atletico. His wages are too high and Atletico seem to want the next big thing rather than sentimentality.

He fits the profile of what we want in a striker for the squad, but age is against him and I suspect too many bridges burnt. His ego probably won't have him as a squad llayer anyway. Also wages.

Spurs and Arsenal are possibilities, but again, wages. He also doesn't really have the reputation as a capable top-4 striker anymore.

His career is basically over at this point, I can't see him going anywhere that he could win something worthwhile to him, which at 29 is extremely sad.

Anzhi or Monaco or some joker club like that I would imagine.

 

[Arnie]

Torres should return to Atletico.

Nothing else really fits.

 

[confuziz]

Falcao to monaco? Saw some rumours flying around

 

[Feorax]

Anzhi or Monaco or some joker club like that I would imagine.

Monaco have Falcao, and are looking at Tevez if rumour is to be believed. Can't see any point in going for Torres as well.

Russia is a possibility, but again, with the money in some of those clubs they could probably do better. It's not like they need his shirt revenue either.

Torres should return to Atletico.

Nothing else really fits.

Atletico were apparently one of the more interested clubs in Suarez. Supposedly they were looking at a £40 million bid, and then requesting funding from their sponsors for his wages.

I can't see it happening mind, but it gives the impression they have their sights set much higher than Torres.

 

[Salvadora]

Falcao to monaco? Saw some rumours flying around

It's an absolute travesty if that happens.

It's the equivalent of RVP never leaving the dutch league for his entire career.

 

[dc89]

I wonder if Pellegrini will be in place for the tour to the USA? I know the statement says Kidd will be in harge but things move quickly.

Pellegrini will surely bring Isco. SURELY.

 

[Shatner's Bassoon]

I wonder if Pellegrini will be in place for the tour to the USA? I know the statement says Kidd will be in harge but things move quickly.

Pellegrini will surely bring Isco. SURELY.

Sergio Aguero will be sold to Real Madrid, Tevez to Monaco, Dzeko to Dortmund.

Pellegrini will bring Roque Santa Cruz home though.

 

[Deaf Spacker]

http://jobs.thefacareers.com/jobs_apply/vacancies/164/performance_analyst_assistants/







:lol

I earn more than that by a considerable amount and I don't have a degree etc. Numpties.

 

[Arnie]

Atletico were apparently one of the more interested clubs in Suarez. Supposedly they were looking at a £40 million bid, and then requesting funding from their sponsors for his wages.

That made me laugh.

If Suarez leaves he's going to a superclub, not Atletico. Juve, Bayern, Real. Not Atletico.

I wonder if Pellegrini will be in place for the tour to the USA? I know the statement says Kidd will be in harge but things move quickly.

Pellegrini will surely bring Isco. SURELY.

You have to think so, all the rumours point to a deal already being done, which would surely have him assuming team duties on or before July 1st. Probably before, it's not like Pellegrini's winding a contract down, ala Moyesie.

I earn more than that by a considerable amount and I don't have a degree etc. Numpties.

But do you spend the day analysing Carroll's aerial duel win percentage?

 

[dc89]

I hope so Arnie. I hope they know what they're doing!

 

[Arnie]

I hope so Arnie. I hope they know what they're doing!

Tony Evans made a great point last night:

Why the fuck does the club feel it acceptable to sack your manager on one year anniversary of him and the club winning the league? Just wait a day. One day. It's muggish behaviour and another example of football and PR behaving in stark opposition to one another.

Football's dumb.

 

[DBT85]

Got my ticket for the playoff final, block 131 row 25. Never had the chance to go to Wembley before so it'll be fun.

my approx view.

 

[LTWheels]

With Mancini's sacking, Brendan Rogers is now the 7th longest serving manager in the league.

 

[confuziz]

So tevez and falcao to monaco according to l'equipe

 

[Kamakazie!]

http://jobs.thefacareers.com/jobs_apply/vacancies/164/performance_analyst_assistants/


:lol

What a disgrace. Unbelievable considering the money they piss up the wall.

Also shows they are clearly not interested in atracting the best. Ten more years of mediocre England performances incoming (as if we didn't already know that).

 

[KidA Seven]

Breaking Anderfat news.

Ando dating some Aussie.

Not my type, but pretty good for Ando.

 

[Salazar]

Not my type, but pretty good for Ando.

She's a serial sportsman dater. If Ando doesn't move on, she will.

Edit: he is making a fuckton more than her previous blokes, though.

 

[rvy]

Not my type, but pretty good for Ando.

Are you fucking kidding me?

 

[Ushojax]

So what do we think happens to Torres next season?

Mou won't want him sulking around the place. He'll bring in a new CF almost certainly (Rooney?)

Can't see him going back to Atletico. His wages are too high and Atletico seem to want the next big thing rather than sentimentality.

He fits the profile of what we want in a striker for the squad, but age is against him and I suspect too many bridges burnt. His ego probably won't have him as a squad llayer anyway. Also wages.

Spurs and Arsenal are possibilities, but again, wages. He also doesn't really have the reputation as a capable top-4 striker anymore.

His career is basically over at this point, I can't see him going anywhere that he could win something worthwhile to him, which at 29 is extremely sad.

Torres to Spurs?

I'd rather have Ade. I'm 100% serious. Torres hasn't scored a league goal for almost half a year. He's done as a top level player. He'll go to Monaco or somewhere silly like that.

 

[Salazar]

Jason Phare ‏@Jason_D_Phare 40m
Sat on the train ready for our 4 hour journey to see @Arsenal tonight. I am exploding inside like popping candy. Haha. #afcvwafc
Retweeted by Arsenal.com

Oh Arsenal fans

This can't end well

 

[Tc91]

Sky Sports News asking every player if they can say anything about Mancini as they leave the hotel, no one said a word.

Mancini gets in his car and winds down the window and says: I love the fans.

 

[Bo-Locks]

Breaking Anderfat news.

Ando dating some Aussie.

Not my type, but pretty good for Ando.

This is good news. She's an ironwoman. Maybe he's already preparing for Moyes' fitness regime.

 

[keit4]

This is a great read:

Explaining the Falcao move to Monaco

 

[bjaelke]

It's also been posted quite a few times already.

He'll go to Monaco or somewhere silly like that.

Monaco already targetting Tevez. Surely they can't sign every unsettled striker in the PL? I'd suggest Rooney but he's hardly a striker anymore.

 

[dc89]

Sorry if doing a me. Funny video here of Coentrao taking a seat on the Madrid bench even though he isn't in the squad. He seems to be generally baffled when it's pointed out to him, Iker, Benz and Mourinho all laugh. CR7 calls him crazy.

http://video.corriere.it/quello-sba...9-11e2-996b-28ba8ed4f514#.UZIQt4dSmHY.twitter

 

[Willkiller]

Sorry if doing a me. Funny video here of Coentrao taking a seat on the Madrid bench even though he isn't in the squad. He seems to be generally baffled when it's pointed out to him, Iker, Benz and Mourinho all laugh. CR7 calls him crazy.

http://video.corriere.it/quello-sba...9-11e2-996b-28ba8ed4f514#.UZIQt4dSmHY.twitter

dc142