I might be weird, but I kind of like getting abuse, because I love making the people eat they're own words. I dont normally go into a Halo match with fire in my belly, but some good old fashioned xbox live douchebaggery makes me play like a pro.
I think game chat can be as funny as it can be annoying, sometimes it does really annoy me, but most of the time you realise how little it all means and I guess you can just roll with it. The racial and sexual abuse sucks, but it shows the other peoples ignorance rather than being something you should take personal issue with. After all being a girl isnt a bad thing, so what if they make sexist comments? Kick they're ass and leave them to it!
Yeah I get how its annoying when you just want to call out, but to be honest in a game with randoms if you want to communicate with friends party chat is the way to go. Even dudes get the random abuse that comes from talking through the mic, the moment I start talking I hear stupid comments! (But to be fair I think thats just because I play with Gui.)