'Twas the Eve of Black Friday
'Twas the eve of Black Fridayand all through the stores,
Employees unloaded the Vitas in scores;
Their boxes were stacked 'long the aisles with flair,
In hopes that consumers would soon, somehow, care.
But the workers were forlorn, and teased the device,
For again, Sony failed in reducing its price;
(In a fax sent to stores, they wrote, "Nothing to fear!
"If worst comes to worst, we'll reduce it next year.")
And so bundles were issued (as if a vaccine),
But given the console, the cost was obscene;
For its library lacked for those 'triple-A' games,
And its scheduleshort on those meaningful names;
And its memory cards
still did remain at a mint,
And the "marketing effort"not even a hint!
And opposing the Vita were unspoken foes:
The iPads and smartphones and
God only knows.
But nevertheless, Black Friday was near,
And 'all things must go'no matter how queer!
So the Vitas were stacked (for the ignorant guest)
And one worker, finished, sat down for a rest.
And he rested quite deeply, in dread of the crowd,
'Til a co-worker woke him by screaming aloud:
"Marcus, come quick! It's Sony!" he cried.
"A last minute conferencebroadcast worldwide!"
He fled to the screen, and what did he spy?
Dressed like St. Nick, Sony's Prez', Kaz Hirai!
"I've heard your complaints." spoke 'The Kaz' with caress,
"May you all rest assured of the Vita's success!
"For my elves have been busy ('though their paychecks deprived),
"And I'm pleased to announce that the
games have arrived!"
"Now
MonHun! Now
DQ! Now
Ratchet & Clank!
"On
Chrono! On
Seph'roth! On
GTmake bank!
"To the top of the charts!
Wadadon, bang your drum!
"NPD! NPD! NPD! Here we come!"
And the worker, delighted, amended a sign:
"The Vita is now only $169."
Half-asleep did he smile on a thought once depraved:
"Dare might I say itthe Vita is saved."
So soon did he wake to that annual clatter;
The cage had been opened, the bears had grown fatter.
They toppled the aisles in lieu of the bends;
They tore down the shelving. They trampled their friends.
They rounded the corners like corpulent cheetahs
And came within view of the splendorous Vita's!
And there, they stood froze; in their eyes came a glean...
But for
Just Dance, and
COD:BLOPS, and
Madden '13.
"It was all just a dream." said the worker, in plight;
"Happy Christmas to all, and to Vita, goodnight."